Rosetta Posted October 25, 2021 Author Share Posted October 25, 2021 Thank you, I really appreciate your support, @Erell, @almuPA, @Carmie, and @Sheera Its been 4 YEARS 7 MONTHS since my CT off Zoloft, Xanax and Trazodone. My doctor changed my antidepressant the night my baby was born in 2011. Before that, by missing doses, I developed a degree of withdrawal. It affected me quite a bit, but I didn’t know what was wrong. So, I was in WD for years before I did the cold switch to Zoloft. As the dose of Zoloft was raised over and over, I became sicker and sicker for almost 6 years. Then, I fast tapered Zoloft over a few weeks, maybe 6 or 8 weeks. I decided Zoloft was the problem around Christmas of 2016, and I looked up the “proper” way to taper it. Due to the withdrawal I had been experiencing for years, unbeknownst to me, the reduction in Zoloft intensified my illness. So, I was prescribed Trazodone after I started the Zoloft taper. When I discovered that T was an antidepressant, I quit using it. Xanax had always been for a rescue dose when I felt I could not cope. I thought I was very careful to avoid addiction by taking it only every 3-4 days. I took tiny amounts such as 0.25 mg although I was prescribed more. (I was very, very wrong about what half-life meant for Xanax, and taking it every 3-4 days does not prevent addiction.) At some point before mid-February, 2017, I stopped all three drugs. I have healed a tremendous amount. I sleep enough, and I can eat. I am able to cook and do laundry now. For a long time, my brain couldn’t focus or stay on task to cook, and doing laundry caused me immense anxiety. I can drive and shop for groceries with no problem. I can go places on most days without crippling anticipatory anxiety stopping me in my tracks. I can even pack for a trip and go although it takes a lot of effort. I’m still having waves. They are much more mild, of course, but I have been in one for the last couple of weeks, and I had a meltdown on Saturday. My husband made a mess while trying to fix something, I had not had breakfast, and I was completely unable to cope. My irrational fear was overwhelming. I could not see that everything would be all right. However, I did not have strong SI. For that, I am thankful. My sleep has been poor lately. I often, almost every night, wake up with a hot flash that turns into a cold sweat — three or four times a night. I may or may not have a cortisol jolt and worry for an hour or so. (Last night was better in that regard.) I may have daymares, and I feel a sense of dread or the feeling of living through a war — in extreme danger constantly. This has often. been symptom of a wave. I worry about losing things, pictures mostly. Once in a Great while, I wake up from a hot flash feeling that everything is neutral and relatively safe. That’s rare. Other times, I feel anxious and fearful, but not as if in the middle of a war. When I wake up in the morning after a hard night, it’s as if I’m waking from a nightmare. It takes a little while to accept that the horror is over, but soon it’s as if a switch were flipped, and all is well (until I have to face my house.) At times, my calves cramp up in the night, and it’s quite painful. Getting the muscle into a stretch position is physically very difficult. My appetite has been poor since I returned from the trip, but I feel rather all right in the daytime, generally. I am bothered to what seems a normal degree by what is going on. There is a lot of carnage leftover from WD in the form of maintenance deferred, things piling up, chaos and disorganization, etc, and I think that my feelings about all of this are quite normal *most of the time. The dystonia comes and goes, and is lessening all the time. As for the overall physical tension in my body, it is almost gone except in a wave. I can have spontaneous yawns and stretches. I think there were a few years when those did not happen. I’m still weak, but I think I have the ability to rebuild muscle. I tire easily from physical activity. I went for a hike yesterday, and I felt iffy about driving back afterward, but I recovered during the drive. I am very tired at night before bed, for which I’m grateful, of course, but it’s an oddly intense sort of tired. This past week, I had one or two nights when I felt wired and unable to go to sleep - a reminder of the days when my system would not turn off. I get sleepy — very, very sleepy — during the day, almost every day, but if I fall asleep, it is only for a few minutes, and I feel worse afterward. I get a cortisol spike when I wake up. Tinnitus is very rare. I’m surprised by it when it happens, and it’s always short-lived. It last for minutes only. The very mild psoriasis-type redness on my cheeks is better. My gut doesn’t function properly, and it’s hard to tell if that is because my appetite is so frequently suppressed or because the serotonin receptors there are still repairing themselves. Just last night I had cramps and constipation again. This is despite taking steps to prevent that such as eating fruit, cereal and taking fiber. I feel there must be some healing yet to be done in my gut. I never have DP or DR, I never feel paranoid, I don’t get intensely angry very often, and I feel sane except during a meltdown caused by an anxiety attack. The anxiety attacks are always reality based even if my reaction is completely off the rails and my fears are irrational. I no longer have a feeling of being terrified but having no idea what in the real world is scaring me. I almost never feel anhedonia. That was a really difficult experience, and I am so glad it’s rare. I feel genuine happiness and joy at appropriate times. It’s rare that I am in a situation that I know should be joyous but I can’t feel pleasure. I’m curious and inquisitive the way I used to be. I look forward to experiences, and I feel that the effort to go places is worth it prior to preparing to go. There are times when I wish I had stayed home, but I recognize that I won’t feel that way once the difficulties are sorted. It will be 5 years since the virtual CT in February. I still have a lot of digging out to do in terms of my house: my closets, the toys, unused rooms, books, the nightmare garage, etc. My career is gone. I will have to accept that, and I have, mostly. It was a toxic career anyway. I think I have been a better mother throughout this awful WD than I could have been if I had kept my career and had the lesser degree of WD that existed before the CT. I am very happy to have survived!!! 3 https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25 2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born) 2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg 2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction) 2016 - Stopped Xanax Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown) Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone Drug free since Feb 2017 2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep Link to comment
almuPA Posted October 26, 2021 Share Posted October 26, 2021 12 hours ago, Rosetta said: I am very happy to have survived!!! That statment... I am so Happy for you! You are such an important part of this community, @Rosetta, that I feel that with that statment you are giving hope and happines to a lot of us. There is nothing better you could have said. March 2019: 10mg Citalopram April 2019: 20mg Citalopram October/November 2019(sorry, I don't remember the exact date): 10mg of Citalopram without tapering, as suggested by my pharmacist. March 2020: Started "tapering", taking the 10mg of Citalopram every other day, again, following the recommendations of my pharmacist. April 2020: Stopped taking Citalopram. I haven't reinstall since then. I've tried taking Magnesium a couple of times, but I found out it makes me nervous. I only take Paracetemol when the headache becomes unbearable (2gr every couple of weeks or so). Link to comment
Cheeky Posted October 26, 2021 Share Posted October 26, 2021 That’s so wonderful to hear. Im sure your a wonderful mother and I bet your daughter loves you alot. Things will only get better for you . 1995 started Paxil 20mg slowly increasing to 50mg 2014 I decided to tapper myself not knowing how too and crashed , DR added 50mg of Seroquel Through the years made many mistakes tapering Started Tapering Both drugs at the same time 7.5% per month Paxil 9% Seroquel doing daily micro-taper Guided by Mark Horowitz 31/3/24 Paxil 10.31mg 31/3/24 Seroquel 9.9mg Link to comment
Phoenixmama Posted October 26, 2021 Share Posted October 26, 2021 @Rosetta ❤️🌞❤️ 2021: started celexa 10mg feb 2nd feb 25th took my last 10g; feb 26th 5mg; feb 27th 5mg; feb 28th 2021 cold turkey currently taking mag Link to comment
Believer Posted October 27, 2021 Share Posted October 27, 2021 Rosette, what an awesome update! I am so happy for you. You have been through a lot and always such an inspiration for the rest of us. Well done! Here’s to continued healing. ❣️ 1998-2015 Zoloft. 100mg 2015 Straight switch to Wellbutrin by GP who claimed Zoloft stopped working; I was experiencing occasional brain zaps. 3 months later Wellbutrin XR. Highly activating. Lost ability to sleep. Seroquel x3 nights. Horrible reaction. Straight switch back to Zoloft, began taper. Found SA after tapering 25 mgs a week to 25mgs and began experiencing W/D. 6/21/19 5.05 mg; 9/6/19 4.8 mg; 4/24/20 4.57 mg; 8/27/21 4.43 mg 9/20-9/25/21 xover to new RX from expired meds 10/22/21 4.13 mg; 11/26/21 3.93 mg; 4/15/22 3.74 mg; 6/3/22 3.54 mg; 8/5/22 3.38; 9/30/22 3.19; 11/18/22 3.03; 12/30/22 2.88; 2/17/23 2.74; 3/24/23 2.60; 5/12/23 2.47; 6/23/23 2.35; 8/11/23 2.24; 9/15/23 2.13; 10/20/23 2.02; 11/24/23 1.92; 1/12/24 1.83; 2/17/24 1.72; 3/23/24 1.64 Supplements: Natural Calm magnesium, Vitamin C Vitamin D during winter. Link to comment
Rosetta Posted October 28, 2021 Author Share Posted October 28, 2021 Ugh, another panic attack today. I got lost in the car when I had to be somewhere on time. Fortunately, I can calm down more quickly these days, and I’m not completely wiped out by the attacks. https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25 2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born) 2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg 2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction) 2016 - Stopped Xanax Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown) Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone Drug free since Feb 2017 2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep Link to comment
gentlehermione Posted October 29, 2021 Share Posted October 29, 2021 On 10/28/2021 at 8:46 AM, Rosetta said: Ugh, another panic attack today. I got lost in the car when I had to be somewhere on time. Fortunately, I can calm down more quickly these days, and I’m not completely wiped out by the attacks. Sorry to hear this @Rosetta I had one a few days ago, too - the first one in ages. But like you, over time I've learned how to deal with the panic better and was able to pull out of it relatively quickly. Now that was a pleasant surprise! Effexor XR 75mg 1997-2012 Effexor XR 37.5mg 2012-2017 (tapered off over six months - finished taper July 2017) SCA Aug 12th, 2017 Cymbalta 30mg Aug 2017 - Nov 2017 (CT Nov. 17th for medical reasons) Metoprolol 50mg Aug 2017 - Feb 2019 tapered down to 25mg June 2019 then tapered down to zero. Off Metoprolol as of Jan 2020 Amiodarone (anti-arrhythmic med) 200mg Nov 2017- May 2018 Supplements: Omega 3, vitamin D3, magnesium What helps me: Manual lymphatic drainage massage, acupressure, meditation, homeopathy (my psychiatrist is also a certified homeopath), a healthy diet when possible organic, yoga, walking my dogs every day and gardening. Link to comment
Rosetta Posted October 31, 2021 Author Share Posted October 31, 2021 Thanks everyone. I’m coming out of the wave. Lots of hot flashes at night, but the panic/cortisol response is very slight now. I’m sleeping better. The waves are shorter and more shallow these days. I know they will keep getting better. @gentlehermione @Phoenixmama @Believer @Cheeky @almuPA @Sheera @Carmie @Erell @Fightinghard 1 https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25 2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born) 2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg 2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction) 2016 - Stopped Xanax Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown) Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone Drug free since Feb 2017 2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep Link to comment
Rosetta Posted October 31, 2021 Author Share Posted October 31, 2021 @ShiningLight @Greatful @Faure @ScottishLass https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25 2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born) 2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg 2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction) 2016 - Stopped Xanax Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown) Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone Drug free since Feb 2017 2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep Link to comment
Phoenixmama Posted October 31, 2021 Share Posted October 31, 2021 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 2021: started celexa 10mg feb 2nd feb 25th took my last 10g; feb 26th 5mg; feb 27th 5mg; feb 28th 2021 cold turkey currently taking mag Link to comment
Rosetta Posted October 31, 2021 Author Share Posted October 31, 2021 On 8/4/2021 at 2:37 PM, Rosetta said: https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25 2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born) 2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg 2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction) 2016 - Stopped Xanax Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown) Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone Drug free since Feb 2017 2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep Link to comment
Cheeky Posted October 31, 2021 Share Posted October 31, 2021 3 hours ago, Rosetta said: Thanks everyone. I’m coming out of the wave. Lots of hot flashes at night, but the panic/cortisol response is very slight now. I’m sleeping better. The waves are shorter and more shallow these days. I know they will keep getting better. @gentlehermione @Phoenixmama @Believer @Cheeky @almuPA @Sheera @Carmie @Erell @Fightinghard That’s great to here 1995 started Paxil 20mg slowly increasing to 50mg 2014 I decided to tapper myself not knowing how too and crashed , DR added 50mg of Seroquel Through the years made many mistakes tapering Started Tapering Both drugs at the same time 7.5% per month Paxil 9% Seroquel doing daily micro-taper Guided by Mark Horowitz 31/3/24 Paxil 10.31mg 31/3/24 Seroquel 9.9mg Link to comment
Mentor ShiningLight Posted October 31, 2021 Mentor Share Posted October 31, 2021 I'm so glad you're coming out of the wave! And how great to hear that the waves are more shallow and shorter!!! That is huge! In solidarity regarding the panic. It helps me to breathe into it and say, "This is what panic feels like." Somehow that helps settle me and makes it more bearable. Now: 100 mg Zoloft am, 50 mg Trazodone. Daily drug burden decreased from 2050 in 2018 mg to 150 mg 🐢🐢 Zoloft: 1/24/23 increased to 100 mg after suicide attempt 9/17/22 cut 6 mg, 8/14/22 cut 6.5 mg, 5/7/22 cut 12.5 mg 3/20/22 cut 12.5 mg 10/26/21 cut 6 mg 10/17/21 cut 5 mg, 9/17/21 Cut 3 mg, 9/13/21 cut 4 mg, 8/29/21 Cut 2 mg 8/8/21 Cut 3 mg 7/30/21 Zoloft: Converted 25 mg to liquid. Also take 100 mg pill & 25 mg pill=150 mg total🌞 Feb 28, 2021 0 mg Gapapentin 2021 Gaba each dose 4x/day: Feb 27 7 mg (one dose only), Feb 10, 7 mg, Jan 14 10 mg 2020 Current taper schedule from Aug 30-present: drop 8 mg every 2-3 weeks. Aug 20 31 mg, Aug 18, 33 mg, July 29, 35 mg, July 23 38 mg, July 22 40 mg Jun 24 42 mg, Jun 15 44 mg, Jun 9 48 mg, May 22 50 mg, May 14 54 mg, May 7 56 mg, Apr 16 58 mg, Mar 28 60 mg, Mar 18 62 mg. Feb 26 64 mg. Feb 19, 66 mg. Jan 23, 70 mg. 2019 Dec 19, 72 mg. Nov 14 ,76 mg. Aug 8, 80 mg. Aug 6, 85 mg. Jul 26, 90 mg. Jul 11, 95 mg. Jul 16 trazodone from 100 to 50 mg. Jun 17-July 10 Slowly changed gab fr pill to liquid at same dose 100 mg 4x/d. Apr 24 Stopped klon!!! 🌞 Apr 4 Decreased gaba to 400 mg (100 mg 4x/day)-Apr 4, 2019 0.25 klon March 11 Klonopin .5 mg twice daily, varied dose til Apr 15. Started Klon fast taper 25%, short use Mar 16, 450 mg gaba 3x/day cut 600 mg--not exact!--updose after learning w/d Feb 20, 2019 1800 mg gabapentin; MD taper; off 3 days=mvt disorder & autonomic instability. July 2018 temazepam 15 mg 1-2; prn several x/wk til Jan/Feb 2019 when cold turkey, flu illness for months July 2018 started gabapentin 100 3x/day; titrated up to 1800 mg (600 3x/day) Buspar, I forget how much, 2 pills a day Jan 2017-July 2018 cold turkey. On Zoloft since maybe 2004? After trying many. *I speak from my experience. Nothing I say is medical advice. I'm not a doctor. Link to comment
Mentor Faure Posted October 31, 2021 Mentor Share Posted October 31, 2021 Rosetta, that’s great news. You have suffered so many years. I haven’t read all 72 of your pages (!), but seeing a doctor switched your AD the day your child was born seems the height of irresponsibility. So glad you are having shorter, shallower waves at last ☺️ I am not a medical professional. I provide information and make suggestions based on my own experience and SA guidelines. I am unable to respond to private messages. Mirtazepine 15mg Nov 2018 -April 2019 April - Sept 2019 Mirtazepine down to around 6mg - skipping days to taper October 2019 - Dec 2019 unwell from failed taper including jumping about in doses 15 December 2019 to 13 June 2021 15mg Mirtazepine 14 June 2021 started brass monkey Slide. 2021: 23 August 12.3mg, 28 October 11.1mg, 6 Dec 10mg 2022: 12 Feb 8.5, 25 Oct 4.5mg 2023: 16 Jan 3.6mg, 28 Sept 1.8mg Link to comment
92sharks Posted October 31, 2021 Share Posted October 31, 2021 @RosettaI read your update from October 25. I hadn't known your history before. Your post clearly describes to me your strength and determination even while you still suffer during the present time. Your posts to others are always so encouraging and supportive. I just wanted to send you love and support and many hugs. ❤️❤️❤️ 1 1999 began Wellbutrin, and Zoloft, then off both, tried Lexapro, then eventually Effexor XR 2009 slowly weaned self off Effexor XR experienced 7 months of withdrawal syndrome, became suicidal 2010 went on Prozac (dose ?), then off Prozac (agitation/anxiety), resumed Effexor XR 2010-2014 titrated up to Effexor XR 150mg and Effexor 37.5mg 2014-2018 have been on this dose for 4 years~Effexor EX 150mg and Effexor 37.5mg (Total 188mg) January 22, 2018, began decreasing dose of Effexor 37.5mg (Continuing 150mg dose unchanged) February 19, 2018 Effexor XR 150mg + 29 balls of Effexor 37.5mg capsule (29mg?????) x 2 days August 15, 2020 Effexor ER 60mg x 5 months August 10, 2021 Effexor ER 10mg Experiencing vertigo since last taper (from 11 beads/?mg to 10 beads/?mg) 4 days ago. August 21, 2021 Vertigo gone 🥳(lasted 8 days) Will stay at 10 beads/?mg. July 1, 2022 Effexor 7 beads/?mg Link to comment
Rosetta Posted October 31, 2021 Author Share Posted October 31, 2021 Thanks, @92sharks That’s very kind of you. I was about 19 the first time I was prescribed an AD. The AD did not agree with me, and I think I had an adverse reaction to some degree. It wasn’t until I cracked a vertebrae in my neck that I took anything on a regular basis. I was 25, and I was prescribed fiorinal, a barbiturate. I stupidly trusted the doctor at my university clinic and, knowing nothing about addiction, I took it for about 6-7 months. Then I CT’d. The pain was manageable, but the WD was horrible. I never identified any of my problems as WD and neither did any doctor. So, various ADs and sleeping pills were prescribed none of which I ever took regularly. All had terrible side effects, and now I know they were are causing adverse reactions in my fragile nervous system. Eventually, I took Celexa in about 2000 and stayed on that until 2011. So, the majority of my life has been marred by malpractice and recklessness. Fortunately, there were a lot of good times sprinkled throughout. 2 https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25 2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born) 2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg 2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction) 2016 - Stopped Xanax Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown) Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone Drug free since Feb 2017 2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Carmie Posted November 2, 2021 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted November 2, 2021 So glad to hear you’re feeling a little better Rosetta🧡 Seroquel. 2019:➡️ From 7.25mg to 5.80mg✔️ 2020➡️From 5.60 to 4.80✔️ 2021➡️From 4.60 to 4.0✔️ 2022➡️From 3.95 to 3.55✔️2023➡️ Jan 26=3.50✔️March 17=3.45✔️ June12=3.40✔️ July30=3.35✔️ Sep14=3.30✔️ Oct31=3.25✔️ 2024➡️Jan15=3.20✔️ Feb19=3.15✔️ March26=3.10✔️This is NOT medical advice.Consult your doctor. Link to comment
Rosetta Posted November 4, 2021 Author Share Posted November 4, 2021 Aww, thank you, @Carmie https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25 2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born) 2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg 2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction) 2016 - Stopped Xanax Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown) Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone Drug free since Feb 2017 2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep Link to comment
3Shadows Posted November 8, 2021 Share Posted November 8, 2021 I have been scrolling through your comment s in various threads Rosseta. I wonder from the updates if you have remained ad free since the date of your medicine history.? Are you feeling well, stable, content, emotionally stable today? Link to comment
Sheera Posted November 10, 2021 Share Posted November 10, 2021 @RosettaThanks for stopping by—I hope you’re feeling a glorious window right now. ❤️ Started Lamictal and Brintellix in November 2015 May 2016 Discontinued Lamictal 100 to 50 and then stopped completely. October 20, 2016 discontinued Brintellex 10 to 5 then went from 5 to 0 on November 10, 2016. Currently off all antidepressants Current Supplements: L-Theanine, Natural Progesterone, L-Methylfolate, Vitamin D, Omega-3's, Probiotic Link to comment
Rosetta Posted November 10, 2021 Author Share Posted November 10, 2021 @3Shadows Hi. Yes, I have been AD free since February of 2017, as well as, benzo free. I have had no prescription drugs at all. Unfortunately, I continue to experience waves. They are milder and milder as time goes on with an occasional outlier that is stronger than the last. Once the SI stopped happening — hopefully for good, but I suspect I may have it again once or twice — I have been happier overall. I still have healing to do. It is important to note that most people heal faster than I have. I suspect that I have had a particularly bad case. That may have been because I was never very good at remembering to take my dose, and I did not know how important that was. Rosetta 1 https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25 2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born) 2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg 2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction) 2016 - Stopped Xanax Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown) Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone Drug free since Feb 2017 2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep Link to comment
SandCastle Posted November 11, 2021 Share Posted November 11, 2021 @Rosetta I just saw your update and wanted to say how happy I am that you continue to improve. You are always supporting others on this site, which is so appreciated. I’m sorry that you still experience waves, but I know that is par for the course when going through this. 400mg SAM-e from ~Feb 10, 2018 to somewhere around July, 2018 25 mg Sertraline from January 2020 to mid April 2020 Cold turkey mid April 2020 Re-instated 25 mg Sertraline from early May 2020 for next three weeks then cold turkey again. Currently on no meds or supplements. Link to comment
Rosetta Posted November 12, 2021 Author Share Posted November 12, 2021 Thank you @SandCastle https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25 2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born) 2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg 2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction) 2016 - Stopped Xanax Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown) Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone Drug free since Feb 2017 2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep Link to comment
Elyssa143 Posted November 13, 2021 Share Posted November 13, 2021 @Rosetta hi my friend! Always nice to see you so positive and still improving! It’s been a long time I know 😔 I’m 43 months now! 41 completely pharma free! What an accomplishment! I am better overall of course but still no where near 100%. I still struggle but more functional nothing like the first 3 years. This has been my best year yet but had tons of tough life things happen which are minimal comparatively speaking as I’m sure you can relate. I still struggle with the dreaded si, depression and inner aka in my chest. And back to my normal anxiety/panic but again nothing like it was it’s just so frustrating because then my brain goes to the dark place. But it’s not coping like I was 24/7 at all. It’s just still hard si stuff and aka will never ever be easy for me. But I try to be greatful for the improvements. Working on some other health issues as well that are underlying. Looking forward to hearing back from you! Hugs one day one day!!! 1 13 months on 25 mg of sertraline. Fast taper in march 2018, reinstated 12.5mg Cold turkey sertraline april 17,2018 Zyprexa 5mg april 17,2018 Zyprexa taper to lamictal May 4-13 (life threatening rash) Back on zyprexa 5mg for 10days & tapered over 5 weeks. 21 months off sertraline 19 months off zyprexa 22 months into withdrawl Link to comment
Mentor Happy2Heal Posted November 14, 2021 Mentor Share Posted November 14, 2021 On 10/31/2021 at 6:49 PM, Rosetta said: So, the majority of my life has been marred by malpractice and recklessness. Fortunately, there were a lot of good times sprinkled throughout. this pretty much describes my life, from age 19 til well into my 50's I see we had a similar experience with drugs being CTed and switched around and Rxed inappropriately. I'm so sorry for you and everyone else that's had this happen to them. It seems to be almost the "norm" for lack of a better term. It's way too common and very disturbing to see. I am glad I finally got off the medical "not-so-merry go round" finally. it's been a hard road but worth it in the long run. I had a lot of anger when I realized how poor the "care" had been, that I got over the years, and while I've let go of the past, I am so much more cautious now when seeing any one in the medical field for any reason and have virtually no trust of them.... do you feel somewhat the same? I am sure drs can feel how much I distrust them and it makes most interactions with them very uncomfortable, for both of us. my goal is to stay as healthy as I can so I never have to rely on the medical system for anything, or more realistically I suppose, for as little as possible! thanks for stopping by my thread! it's always good to hear from you ❤️ 1 PLEASE DO NOT SEND ME PRIVATE MESSAGES, thank you. pysch med history: 1974 @ age 18 to Oct 2017 (approx 43 yrs total) Drug list: stelazine, haldol, elavil, lithium, zoloft, celexa, lexapro(doses as high as 40mgs), klonopin, ambien, seroquel(high doses), depakote, zyprexa, lamictal- plus brief trials of dozens of other psych meds over the years started lexapro 2002, dose varied from 20mgs to 40mgs. First attempt to get off it was 2007- WD symptoms were mistaken for "relapse". 2013 too fast taper down to 5mg but WD forced me back to 20mgs June of 2105, tapered again too rapidly to 2.5mgs by Dec 2015. Found SA, held at 2.5 mgs til May 2016 when I foolishly "jumped off". felt ok until Sept, then acute WD hit!! reinstated at 0.3mgs in Oct. 2106 Tapered off to zero by Oct. 2017 Doing very well. Nov. 2018 feel 95% healed, age 63 Jan. 2020 feel 100% healed, peaceful and content Dec 2023 Loving life! ❤️ with all it's ups and downs Link to comment
Mentor Happy2Heal Posted November 14, 2021 Mentor Share Posted November 14, 2021 4 minutes ago, Happy2Heal said: age 19 til well into my 50's typo, it was age 18 I don't see a way to make corrections once the post has been submitted PLEASE DO NOT SEND ME PRIVATE MESSAGES, thank you. pysch med history: 1974 @ age 18 to Oct 2017 (approx 43 yrs total) Drug list: stelazine, haldol, elavil, lithium, zoloft, celexa, lexapro(doses as high as 40mgs), klonopin, ambien, seroquel(high doses), depakote, zyprexa, lamictal- plus brief trials of dozens of other psych meds over the years started lexapro 2002, dose varied from 20mgs to 40mgs. First attempt to get off it was 2007- WD symptoms were mistaken for "relapse". 2013 too fast taper down to 5mg but WD forced me back to 20mgs June of 2105, tapered again too rapidly to 2.5mgs by Dec 2015. Found SA, held at 2.5 mgs til May 2016 when I foolishly "jumped off". felt ok until Sept, then acute WD hit!! reinstated at 0.3mgs in Oct. 2106 Tapered off to zero by Oct. 2017 Doing very well. Nov. 2018 feel 95% healed, age 63 Jan. 2020 feel 100% healed, peaceful and content Dec 2023 Loving life! ❤️ with all it's ups and downs Link to comment
Rosetta Posted November 21, 2021 Author Share Posted November 21, 2021 When I was very sick, I read to my daughter a lot. I couldn’t chase her, but I found things I could do while sitting. There are many books that are interactive allowing the child to touch them and feel different textures. They were a good way for me to connect with my daughter. Every night as we went to bed, I read to her. We both looked forward to it. It became ritual for me. I found rituals very comforting when I was very sick. Taking the same walk day after day, reading the same group of children’s books at night, as well as other repetitive activities, helped me feel calmer and reassured. It does the same for children, and now, my daughter remembers some of those activities because we did them over and over again. We had a connection even when I was very ill. I cherish those memories, and I have forgotten a lot of the misery I felt at that time. 2 https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25 2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born) 2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg 2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction) 2016 - Stopped Xanax Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown) Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone Drug free since Feb 2017 2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep Link to comment
Rosetta Posted November 21, 2021 Author Share Posted November 21, 2021 @Elyssa143 I’m glad you stopped by. I hope you are feeling better, and I wrote in your thread recently. @Happy2Heal Yes, I am very wary of doctors. They aren’t really doctors. They are pill dispensers. They could be both, but that would take too much time and thought. https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25 2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born) 2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg 2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction) 2016 - Stopped Xanax Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown) Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone Drug free since Feb 2017 2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep Link to comment
Phoenixmama Posted November 22, 2021 Share Posted November 22, 2021 23 hours ago, Rosetta said: When I was very sick, I read to my daughter a lot. I couldn’t chase her, but I found things I could do while sitting. There are many books that are interactive allowing the child to touch them and feel different textures. They were a good way for me to connect with my daughter. Every night as we went to bed, I read to her. We both looked forward to it. It became ritual for me. I found rituals very comforting when I was very sick. Taking the same walk day after day, reading the same group of children’s books at night, as well as other repetitive activities, helped me feel calmer and reassured. It does the same for children, and now, my daughter remembers some of those activities because we did them over and over again. We had a connection even when I was very ill. I cherish those memories, and I have forgotten a lot of the misery I felt at that time. @Rosetta one of the best and first advices you gave to me , it worked for both me and my daughter to get through and to staying bonding with her , we still do have this routine to this day, although im doing better these days ,it still helps me out and comforts me when im in a wave or a window , just want to say thanks a lot for this advice..... 2021: started celexa 10mg feb 2nd feb 25th took my last 10g; feb 26th 5mg; feb 27th 5mg; feb 28th 2021 cold turkey currently taking mag Link to comment
Rosetta Posted November 22, 2021 Author Share Posted November 22, 2021 @Phoenixmama 😻 https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25 2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born) 2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg 2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction) 2016 - Stopped Xanax Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown) Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone Drug free since Feb 2017 2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Carmie Posted November 26, 2021 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted November 26, 2021 Hi Rosetta, How have you been doing this week?🧡 Seroquel. 2019:➡️ From 7.25mg to 5.80mg✔️ 2020➡️From 5.60 to 4.80✔️ 2021➡️From 4.60 to 4.0✔️ 2022➡️From 3.95 to 3.55✔️2023➡️ Jan 26=3.50✔️March 17=3.45✔️ June12=3.40✔️ July30=3.35✔️ Sep14=3.30✔️ Oct31=3.25✔️ 2024➡️Jan15=3.20✔️ Feb19=3.15✔️ March26=3.10✔️This is NOT medical advice.Consult your doctor. Link to comment
ThatOneGirlStitch Posted November 27, 2021 Share Posted November 27, 2021 On 10/25/2021 at 3:01 PM, Rosetta said: I have healed a tremendous amount. I sleep enough, and I can eat. I am able to cook and do laundry now. For a long time, my brain couldn’t focus or stay on task to cook, and doing laundry caused me immense anxiety. I can drive and shop for groceries with no problem. I can go places on most days without crippling anticipatory anxiety stopping me in my tracks. I can even pack for a trip and go although it takes a lot of effort. On 10/25/2021 at 3:01 PM, Rosetta said: I almost never feel anhedonia. That was a really difficult experience, and I am so glad it’s rare. I feel genuine happiness and joy at appropriate times. It’s rare that I am in a situation that I know should be joyous but I can’t feel pleasure. I’m curious and inquisitive the way I used to be. I look forward to experiences, and I feel that the effort to go places is worth it prior to preparing to go. There are times when I wish I had stayed home, but I recognize that I won’t feel that way once the difficulties are sorted. Reading this brought tears to my eyes. I wish so much for you. Thank you for sharing. It brings me hope. That a person can endure. Im rooting for you. Current: Bupropion 450mg, Neurontin 800mg, Klonopin 0.5mg History: July 2020: started Cogentin 1mg, Lamictal 50mg, Zoloft 150mg, Zyprexa 5mg (+5mg as needed), Klonopin 0.5mg November 2020: stopped all meds cold-turkey February 2021: started Latuda 60mg, Lithium 300mg, Melatonin 5mg, Protonix 40mg, Topamax 25mg 2 weeks later: stopped Topamax, increased Lithium 900mg, started Klonopin 1mg, Lexapro 20mg, Neurontin 400mg April 2021: started Bupropion 150mg, Revia ?mg May 2021: stopped Revia, Protonix, Lexapro, increased Neurontin 800mg, started Celexa 10mg August 2021: decreased Celexa 5mg (stopped Celexa 2 weeks later), increased Bupropion 300mg September 2021: increased Latuda 80mg October 2021: decreased Lithium 600mg for 4 days, Lithium 300mg for 4 days, stopped Lithium, Latuda, increased Bupropion 450mg, started Remeron 15mg, decreased Remeron 7.5mg, stopped Remeron Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Carmie Posted November 27, 2021 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted November 27, 2021 Thinking of you dear Rosetta🧡 Seroquel. 2019:➡️ From 7.25mg to 5.80mg✔️ 2020➡️From 5.60 to 4.80✔️ 2021➡️From 4.60 to 4.0✔️ 2022➡️From 3.95 to 3.55✔️2023➡️ Jan 26=3.50✔️March 17=3.45✔️ June12=3.40✔️ July30=3.35✔️ Sep14=3.30✔️ Oct31=3.25✔️ 2024➡️Jan15=3.20✔️ Feb19=3.15✔️ March26=3.10✔️This is NOT medical advice.Consult your doctor. Link to comment
Rosetta Posted December 3, 2021 Author Share Posted December 3, 2021 A short update: Over the past couple of weeks, I have had some symptoms of menstruation. I have not had much uptick in WD symptoms along with these other symptoms. There has been some increased anxiety. One night, I woke up about midnight and was never able to go back to sleep. A few other nights I was awake for 2-3 hours in the night. Some nights, I am very anxious and upset in the night and others I am not. Usually the state of my house is the object of my obsession and anxiety. I’m still tired and low energy. I am able to nap in the day for only 10-15 minutes. Sometimes, I wake with a cortisol spike from a nap. There are days that it’s hard to stay awake, but I can’t stay asleep either. That is pretty uncomfortable. Some days, I have extra energy and I can do something more than the minimum. Some days I have to do more than I feel I have energy to do. At times, taking a walk doesn’t take all the energy I have for the day. Its slow, but I’m very grateful that meltdowns are very rare, and the worst is over. I no longer fear going back into acute withdrawal as long as I am careful not to take the wrong antibiotic. 1 https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25 2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born) 2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg 2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction) 2016 - Stopped Xanax Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown) Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone Drug free since Feb 2017 2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Carmie Posted December 5, 2021 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted December 5, 2021 So happy to hear that the worst is over Rosetta🧡 Seroquel. 2019:➡️ From 7.25mg to 5.80mg✔️ 2020➡️From 5.60 to 4.80✔️ 2021➡️From 4.60 to 4.0✔️ 2022➡️From 3.95 to 3.55✔️2023➡️ Jan 26=3.50✔️March 17=3.45✔️ June12=3.40✔️ July30=3.35✔️ Sep14=3.30✔️ Oct31=3.25✔️ 2024➡️Jan15=3.20✔️ Feb19=3.15✔️ March26=3.10✔️This is NOT medical advice.Consult your doctor. Link to comment
ThatOneGirlStitch Posted December 6, 2021 Share Posted December 6, 2021 On 12/3/2021 at 3:24 PM, Rosetta said: Its slow, but I’m very grateful that meltdowns are very rare, and the worst is over. I no longer fear going back into acute withdrawal as long as I am careful not to take the wrong antibiotic. I'm so glad that you don't have to fear acute withdrawal. (so horrendous) I'm glad you see improvement however slow it may be. As always, wishing all the best to you. Current: Bupropion 450mg, Neurontin 800mg, Klonopin 0.5mg History: July 2020: started Cogentin 1mg, Lamictal 50mg, Zoloft 150mg, Zyprexa 5mg (+5mg as needed), Klonopin 0.5mg November 2020: stopped all meds cold-turkey February 2021: started Latuda 60mg, Lithium 300mg, Melatonin 5mg, Protonix 40mg, Topamax 25mg 2 weeks later: stopped Topamax, increased Lithium 900mg, started Klonopin 1mg, Lexapro 20mg, Neurontin 400mg April 2021: started Bupropion 150mg, Revia ?mg May 2021: stopped Revia, Protonix, Lexapro, increased Neurontin 800mg, started Celexa 10mg August 2021: decreased Celexa 5mg (stopped Celexa 2 weeks later), increased Bupropion 300mg September 2021: increased Latuda 80mg October 2021: decreased Lithium 600mg for 4 days, Lithium 300mg for 4 days, stopped Lithium, Latuda, increased Bupropion 450mg, started Remeron 15mg, decreased Remeron 7.5mg, stopped Remeron Link to comment
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