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Rosetta: cold switch May 2011 & too fast taper Feb 2017


Rosetta

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Thank you, Gridley, and thank you, Rabe.  Yes, it's nice to get a break.  

 

I feel more or less ok, not much anxiety, but some Today I feel depression too, at 12 noon.  Depression doesn't scare me like anxiety.  It's a more comfortable feeling for me.  I'm a little nervous and unsettled.  Some intrusive thoughts.  Other people's reactions to me confuse me.  It's hard to remember that they are probably acting the way they are for reasons that have nothing to do with me.  Sometimes I feel that I've said the wrong thing, but I have no idea what was wrong with what I said.  So, I've been obsessing over someone's attitude toward me.  It's so uncomfortable.  With certain people this doesn't happen and with others it seems to be frequent.  

 

I try to tell myself that social awkwardness is common and normal.  It's unavoidable.  I think it bothers me more than it does some people because my mother was abusive.  I was always on high alert for signs of her mood in order to try to protect myself -- which was impossible.  I'm aware of other people's moods, and I always think their moods are caused by something I did.  I try to be aware of this and ignore my concerns.  It's hard to do.

 

Yesterday, I was very lethargic.  I fell asleep on the couch before bedtime, and when I woke up, I was very depressed.  More healing?

 

I did nothing all day but lie around, watch tv and wish I had the energy to drag my kid out into the sunshine.  She resists that so much that it feels like too much effort to get myself out there if I have to take her with me.  We both need it, but she never wants to go.  I don't know exactly why.  If we do go, she enjoys it and sometimes tells me she's glad I made her go.  But it's a lot of effort.  I don't have the energy sometimes.  My husband thinks she resists because as far back as she can remember the act of trying get out of the house has meant extreme anxiety on my part and often resulted in a meltdown.  It's the anticipatory anxiety issue again.

 

When I went to bed I cried.  I miss my grandmother.  I miss my home where I lived with her.  She developed dementia when I was about 15.  She lived until I was 28.   That was a very long time.  The last 4 years she was in a nursing home.  I wonder if that issue had a lot to do with my depression.  I coped all right -- enough to get by and do well in school, but just 2 months after she died my grandfather had a girlfriend.  She was very possessive of him.  She refused to let me have any time alone with him.  I mean zilch even though I only visited twice before they married.  I lived 1500 miles away.  They married only 7 months after my grandmother died.  He became very cruel to me and very hateful about the fact that I was still grieving.  I still despise him for that.  He actually called my grandmother "water under the bridge" when I went to a room alone and cried because he was getting married.  He was very angry about that even though I tried to do it private.  I was not allowed to grieve.  So, I left and I didn't see him again for 6 years.  Eventually, he saw her for what she was, and we reconciled, but I never got over the way he had acted.  She was 20 years younger than him, but she died about a year or so after I reconciled with him.  That was a huge relief to me.  He never apologized, of course.

 

Last night at bedtime, I felt that feeling that my life is wasted and worthless.  Maybe Mother's Day caused these emotions, but they were so intense that I think WD had something to do with them.  Having to call my mother on Mothers Day makes so very, very angry.  I am so sick of having to go through the motions when I feel that her abuse is the reason I am in this predicament. 

 

When I woke up this morning I had a cortisol awakening.  I had no jolt to my heart, but I woke up feeling fear and impending doom.  It wore off after about an hour.  I'm getting in the shower so that we can go to my MIL's.  

 

My daughter gave me a card she made for me at school.  It was a little book.  She had colored in the pre-printed pictures and finished pre-printed sentences.  She also made little magnets out of glass tiles.  She drew pictures and glued them to the bottom of the tiles and then glued magnets on.  That cheered me up a bit.  

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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Hello Rosetta

 

I'm so grateful for your kind message on my thread.  You are still pushing through but it seems that some things get a little better and you are having some relief.

 

12 hours ago, Rosetta said:

My daughter gave me a card she made for me at school.  It was a little book.  She had colored in the pre-printed pictures and finished pre-printed sentences.  She also made little magnets out of glass tiles.  She drew pictures and glued them to the bottom of the tiles and then glued magnets on.  That cheered me up a bit.

 

Fabulous - I bet she really enjoyed making it for you.  

 

love

 

Neroli 

2006 Citalopram 20mg on and off to 2013.  April 2013 - July 2014  Sertraline, Venlafaxine, Fluoxetine, Mirtazapine v. bad reactions. July 2014 - CT Mirtazapine.  July 2014 - February 2016 Medication free, long term w/d.  February - July 2016 Fluoxetine.  Medication free, long term w/d syndrome.  2017 Jan physical breakdown.

2017 February - March Escitalopram, Nortriptyline instated.  Lorazepam, Zopiclone PRN.  April 2017 Lithium Carbonate 250mg 1 wk. 14 August 2017 finish cross to Diazepam 22.5mg daily, stop Zopiclone

Tapers:

Diazepam 

2017 21 August - 30 Dec 21.25mg to 14.5mg 2018 6 Jan - 11 May to 12mg.  2 June updose to 12.25mg - hold. 2019 (0.5mg cuts) 12 Jan - 28 Dec 12mg to 10mg 2020 (0.25mg cuts) - 25 Jan - 29 Dec 9.75mg to 6.25mg 2021 *May have bungled dose and accidentally took 1mg more for about a month (7.25mg), so 4 Jan started again at 6.5mg; 19 Jan 6.25mg; 1 Feb 6.0mg; 23 Feb 5.75mg; 9 Mar 5.5mg; 23 Mar 5.25mg; 9 Apr 5.0mg; 6 May 4.75mg; 13 May 4.5mg; 6 Jun 4mg; 12 July 3.5mg; 2 sep 3.0mg; 15 Sep 2.5mg; 1 Nov 2mg; 15 Nov 1.5mg; 16 Dec 1mg; 26 Dec 0.5mg; 2022 1 Jan - OFF

Escitalopram - 2022 1 Mar to 9mg; 29 Mar 8mg; 24 May 7mg; 21 Jun 5mg; 19 Jul 4mg; 1 Sep 3mg; 23 Sep 2.5mg; 31 Oct 1.5mg; 22 Nov 0.5mg; 2023 1 Jan 0.25mg; 1 Mar OFF

Nortriptyline  2018 90mg to 2020 1 Dec down to 72.5mg; 2021 20 May 70mg; 8 Jun 67.5mg; 24 Jun 65mg; 31 July 60mg; 12 Oct 55mg; 23 Oct 50mg; 2022 13 Jan 40mg; 22 Jan 30mg; 29 Mar 20mg; 26 Apr 10mg; 3 Aug 5mg; 23 Sep 2.5mg; 2023 1 Jan - OFF

 

1 March 2023 - off all drugs - 6-year taper off three drugs.

 

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Rosetta,

I am really amazed at your ability to write so clearly your feelings and what is happening with you. To me it shows your brain is healing. Thank you for writing. It helps me to feel not so alone.

xo

D

 

2001- Klonopin 0.125 mg.  2011- increase to 1 mg.  2018- increase to 1.5 mg 

2010- Trials of SSRI's, several.

2011- Saphris 5 mg. CT. 6/2017- retry Saphris 5 mg sublingual, begin taper August 2020 10% taper with scale, and final taper liquid sublingual, August 2019- taper complete!

2011- Geodon 20 mg. Begin taper Sept 2019. 10% liquid taper. 2020: December-5 mg. 2021: Jan-4.5mg. (held Feb.for vacation). March-4mg. Apr-3.6mg. May-3.2mg. June-2.8mg. (Held July for vacation). Aug-2.4mg. Sept.- 2.2mg. Oct. 2mg. Dec 2022 - Taper complete!

2011- Gabapentin 300 mg to present- 2020. Increase 2023 to 400mg.

2014- Vyvanse 20 mg, 2020- Vyvanse 5 mg. Increase August 2022 20mg

2016- Lithium 300 mg, June 2016 - FT.

2017- Cogentin 0.5 mg. June-August 2019- off Cogentin.

2021 - Hydroxyzine 30mg. Holding.

Omeprazole 20 mg and holding, Omega 3's/fish oil, Magnesium

 

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17 hours ago, Rosetta said:

ut I woke up feeling fear and impending doom.

Me every morning. So horrible.

2001- Klonopin 0.125 mg.  2011- increase to 1 mg.  2018- increase to 1.5 mg 

2010- Trials of SSRI's, several.

2011- Saphris 5 mg. CT. 6/2017- retry Saphris 5 mg sublingual, begin taper August 2020 10% taper with scale, and final taper liquid sublingual, August 2019- taper complete!

2011- Geodon 20 mg. Begin taper Sept 2019. 10% liquid taper. 2020: December-5 mg. 2021: Jan-4.5mg. (held Feb.for vacation). March-4mg. Apr-3.6mg. May-3.2mg. June-2.8mg. (Held July for vacation). Aug-2.4mg. Sept.- 2.2mg. Oct. 2mg. Dec 2022 - Taper complete!

2011- Gabapentin 300 mg to present- 2020. Increase 2023 to 400mg.

2014- Vyvanse 20 mg, 2020- Vyvanse 5 mg. Increase August 2022 20mg

2016- Lithium 300 mg, June 2016 - FT.

2017- Cogentin 0.5 mg. June-August 2019- off Cogentin.

2021 - Hydroxyzine 30mg. Holding.

Omeprazole 20 mg and holding, Omega 3's/fish oil, Magnesium

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Thinking of you💚

Been on APs, benzos, ADs and opiates, for chronic pain. Had Akathisia in the past that made me suicidal. Still on Seroquel. 2019:➡️ March10=7.25mg ✔️ April17=7.0✔️ June5=6.75✔️ July14=6.50✔️ Aug28=6.25✔️ Oct10=6.20  ✔️ Oct21=6.0✔️ Dec16=5.80 ✔️ 2020➡️ Jan 21=5.60 ✔️ April2=5.40 ✔️ May29=5.20 ✔️ Aug14= 5.0 ✔️Sep29=4.80✔️2021➡️ Jan31=4.60 mg✔️ April24=4.40mg✔️Jul17=4.30mg ✔️ Aug 28=4.20 ✔️ Oct 11=4.15✔️Nov1=4.10 ✔️ Nov21= 4.05✔️ Dec13= 4mg ✔️2022 ➡️ Jan8=3.95✔️ Jan31=3.90✔️ March2=3.85 ✔️ April4=3.80 ✔️ June16=3.75✔️ July26=3.70✔️ Sep2=3.65✔️ Oct21=3.60 ✔️ Dec8=3.55✔️2023➡️ Jan 26=3.50✔️ March 17=3.45✔️ June12=3.40✔️ July30=3.35✔️ Sep14=3.30✔️ Oct31=3.25✔️This is NOT medical advice.Consult your doctor.

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Thanks, Carmie.  

 

Wantrelief, it is so exhausting isn't it.  I can honestly say I would rather have died because I never took ADs than to have suffered through this.  There is no comparison between this and good old fashioned depression no matter how deep.

 

In the night, I woke up feeling very depressed.  Fortunately, I wasn't awake very long.

 

I had another cortisol awakening this morning just after it was light.  Fear and all.  I felt very hot and then I had a chill when the hot feeling wore off.  Today, I went for a walk in the morning.  I came home and developed a pretty bad tension headache all over my head, jaw and neck not only on the right side.  I still have it.  I just took an ibuprophen pill.

 

When I picked up my daughter I realized that I had forgotten about the volunteer appreciation event at the school today.  I was sad to have missed that.  I was looking forward to it.  It's very hard for me to remember anything when I feel bad.

 

Onward . . .

 

 

 

 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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I fell asleep on the couch for a little while, and I woke up feeling very depressed.  I guess this is the new "toxic nap."  I wake up with depression instead of fear.  It's really intense depression.  

 

I'm also having an Akathisia type feeling in my arms and legs, but it's mild.

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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Whew.  Today was so much better.  The middle of the night wasn't fun -- bad feelings when I woke up -- but it wasn't horrible either.  I did feel a bit of fear and had thoughts of death.  However, the actual awakening in the morning was ok.  Some sadness that I was able to endure.  

 

I was able to volunteer today, have a nice lunch, and go to the gymnastics class and dinner.  Emotionally, today was pretty good, I had no headache or even muscle tension to speak of.  So odd how the muscle problems seem to turn off and on as if a switch were involved.  It's the same with the depression and anxiety.  One day is awful and the next pretty much ok.  It must be fluctuating hormones and neurotransmitters.  Re-balancing.  So bizarre and difficult to experience, but I'm grateful for the nice day today.

 

Many of my stmptoms are fading and haven't returned such as hair loss, pain in my right forearms that required heating pads, life-threatening, intense SI, Depersonalization, derealization -  the world "looked" 2 dimensional, but not really -- it's very hard to explain -- insomnia, hyper-vigilance, feeling that my brain was "on" all day, terrible daymares, etc.  I'm so glad I seem to be feeling that those symptoms are in the past or at least much more mild than before.

 

 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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Thank you so much for taking the time to share this Rosetta. Your story gives me hope. Hope the good days continue xxxx

1990 -2015 Paxil 20 mg

2015-2017 November 40mg Paxil

Nov 2017 Started tapering by 20 mg each week

Rushed final tapering October 2018- 30th Dec 2018went from 15 mg to 10 mg to zero

February 12th 2019 re instated 20 mg on dr advice once only (collapsed,)

April 13th and 14th re-instated 5mg then stopped due to illness

Early march 2019 Started iron tabs every second day ((equivalent you elemental iron 65.7mg)

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  • Moderator Emeritus
30 minutes ago, Rosetta said:

Depersonalization, derealization -  the world "looked" 2 dimensional, but not really -- it's very hard to explain -- i

Rosetta, this is the most frightening symptom for me. You're right, it is very hard to explain. Stuff just doesn't look "right," and for me, it brings on DP/DR. Mine too, seems to be lessening in severity.

 

I've followed your thread for a while, and since I was also suffering so much, I didn't feel I had anything positive to offer you. You have certainly been through so much pain. But I sm so happy to see you're having a good day and that you're gaving overall improvement. You're certainly on your way to healing. It is well-deserved. Hugs!!!!

2016 - Zoloft 50 mg for klonopin w/d

Approx. Nov 2017 - successful taper of klonopin; Approx. Jan. 2018 - rapid taper Zoloft over 2 wks - no w/d symptoms; May 2018 - Reinstate 50 mg Zoloft per doctor; Aug 2018 - Rapid taper Zoloft over 3-4 weeks - no w/d symptoms for 1 mo.; Late Oct 2018 - pdoc rx'd 5mg lexapro -took for 1 wk; Early Nov 2018 - Reinstate 25 mg Zoloft; updose to 37.5 on Nov 28, 2018; Nov 30 2018 - returned to 25mg Zoloft upon mod. advice; Dec 9 - Dec10 2018 - 12.5mg zoloft liquid+12.5mg zoloft pill; Dec 11 2018 - 25mg zoloft all liquid; Feb 14 2019 - updosed to 26.25 mg liquid; Mar 6 2019 - updosed to 26.88 mg liquid - new symptoms; Mar 13 2019 - back down to 26.25 mg per mod suggestion

Dose Changes: Dec 2 2019 - 5% to 25mg; Jan 14 2020 - 10% to 22.5 (increase in sxs all month); Mar 10-15? 2020,  accidental updose to 25mg; Mar 22 2020 - back down to 22.5mg; Apr 12 2020 - 2.5% to 21.94mg; Apr 19 2020 - 2.5% to 21.375mg (symptom increase); May 17 2020 - 2.5% to 20.625mg; May 24 2020 - 2.5% to 20.1mg - Jun 14 2020 - noticed uptick in symptoms settled 2 days later - July 10 2020 - onset of wave

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1 hour ago, Rosetta said:

I'm so glad I seem to be feeling that those symptoms are in the past or at least much more mild than before.

This is so great to hear, Rosetta!  

-1/06 - 3/07 Cymbalta. Fast taper (essentially CT); withdrawal symptoms after 4 mos (didn't realize was WD)

-10/07: 100 mg Zoloft; 1 mg Klonopin - tapered off Klonopin after 4 mos. Several unsuccessful slow tapers of Zoloft; went up and down in dose a lot

-Spring 2013 back on 1 mg Klonopin to counter WD symptoms; switched over 5-6 mos from Zoloft to 35 mg citalopram
-Two attempts at slow tapering citalopram, always increased dose due to WD; also increased Klonopin to 1.25 mg in 2014, then to 1.5 mg in 2015

-8/17-9/17: After holding one year at 20 mg, feeling withdrawal symptoms due to stress - slowly increased to 25 mg. No change in symptoms after 6 months (? tolerance ?)  - decided to start citalopram taper February 2018 (still on Klonopin 1.5 mg).

Supplements: fish oil; magnesium; vitamin D3; curcumin

Citalopram taper:  2/2018 - 12/2019: 25 mg - 11.03 mg I 2020: 10.89 mg - 7.9 mg I 2021: 7.8 mg - 5.26 mg I 2022: 5.2 mg - 3.36 mg I 2023: 3.3 mg - 1.47 mg 2024: 1/5/24: 1.44 mg; 1/19/24: 1.40 mg; 1/26/24: 1.37 mg; 2/2/24: 1.34 mg; 2/9/24: 1.31 mg; 2/23/24: 1.28 mg; 3/1/24: 1.25 mg; 3/8/24: 1.22 mg; 3/15/24: 1.19 mg

 

 

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Today has been ok.  In the night I had some bad feelings, but I slept enough.  I woke up several times as usual, but there was no long period of sleeplessness.  The dystonia came back, and is very, very annoying.  It started sometime in the night.  My right jaw, cheek, temple, eye, neck, back, shoulder and chest are tight, and there is some twisting feeling in the neck.  My right toes, hip and thigh tingle and my calf is very tight in the front from the knee to the ankle.  That sounds terrible, but it's less bothersome than on some days.

 

Other than demotivation, dystonia is the only symptom that's very prominent.  Writing makes it worse.  I have low energy.  It's dreary outside, overcast and gloomy.  It's been a calm day.  

 

I went for a walk.  I took a shower this morning.  It's a lot easier to get in the shower than it used to be.  I don't feel as anxious about as I used to.   I took my daughter to school and picked her up.  I stayed home while she went to her music lesson.

 

Almost time for bed.  Grateful for the easy day.

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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Note:. My last two periods were March 14th and April 13th.  Symptoms were pretty bad around those times.  I was in a horrific wave on March 17th.  The April cycle was bad, but not as bad as March.  Today is May 15th, but I'm doing ok.  There are no signs that my period is coming unless dystonia is a sign.  It could be one.

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Glad you had a calm day! 

2016 - Zoloft 50 mg for klonopin w/d

Approx. Nov 2017 - successful taper of klonopin; Approx. Jan. 2018 - rapid taper Zoloft over 2 wks - no w/d symptoms; May 2018 - Reinstate 50 mg Zoloft per doctor; Aug 2018 - Rapid taper Zoloft over 3-4 weeks - no w/d symptoms for 1 mo.; Late Oct 2018 - pdoc rx'd 5mg lexapro -took for 1 wk; Early Nov 2018 - Reinstate 25 mg Zoloft; updose to 37.5 on Nov 28, 2018; Nov 30 2018 - returned to 25mg Zoloft upon mod. advice; Dec 9 - Dec10 2018 - 12.5mg zoloft liquid+12.5mg zoloft pill; Dec 11 2018 - 25mg zoloft all liquid; Feb 14 2019 - updosed to 26.25 mg liquid; Mar 6 2019 - updosed to 26.88 mg liquid - new symptoms; Mar 13 2019 - back down to 26.25 mg per mod suggestion

Dose Changes: Dec 2 2019 - 5% to 25mg; Jan 14 2020 - 10% to 22.5 (increase in sxs all month); Mar 10-15? 2020,  accidental updose to 25mg; Mar 22 2020 - back down to 22.5mg; Apr 12 2020 - 2.5% to 21.94mg; Apr 19 2020 - 2.5% to 21.375mg (symptom increase); May 17 2020 - 2.5% to 20.625mg; May 24 2020 - 2.5% to 20.1mg - Jun 14 2020 - noticed uptick in symptoms settled 2 days later - July 10 2020 - onset of wave

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Hi Rosetta

 

4 hours ago, Rosetta said:

Grateful for the easy day.

 

Good to hear you've had some ease from the symptoms.  Wishing you many more such days.

 

Neroli 💜

2006 Citalopram 20mg on and off to 2013.  April 2013 - July 2014  Sertraline, Venlafaxine, Fluoxetine, Mirtazapine v. bad reactions. July 2014 - CT Mirtazapine.  July 2014 - February 2016 Medication free, long term w/d.  February - July 2016 Fluoxetine.  Medication free, long term w/d syndrome.  2017 Jan physical breakdown.

2017 February - March Escitalopram, Nortriptyline instated.  Lorazepam, Zopiclone PRN.  April 2017 Lithium Carbonate 250mg 1 wk. 14 August 2017 finish cross to Diazepam 22.5mg daily, stop Zopiclone

Tapers:

Diazepam 

2017 21 August - 30 Dec 21.25mg to 14.5mg 2018 6 Jan - 11 May to 12mg.  2 June updose to 12.25mg - hold. 2019 (0.5mg cuts) 12 Jan - 28 Dec 12mg to 10mg 2020 (0.25mg cuts) - 25 Jan - 29 Dec 9.75mg to 6.25mg 2021 *May have bungled dose and accidentally took 1mg more for about a month (7.25mg), so 4 Jan started again at 6.5mg; 19 Jan 6.25mg; 1 Feb 6.0mg; 23 Feb 5.75mg; 9 Mar 5.5mg; 23 Mar 5.25mg; 9 Apr 5.0mg; 6 May 4.75mg; 13 May 4.5mg; 6 Jun 4mg; 12 July 3.5mg; 2 sep 3.0mg; 15 Sep 2.5mg; 1 Nov 2mg; 15 Nov 1.5mg; 16 Dec 1mg; 26 Dec 0.5mg; 2022 1 Jan - OFF

Escitalopram - 2022 1 Mar to 9mg; 29 Mar 8mg; 24 May 7mg; 21 Jun 5mg; 19 Jul 4mg; 1 Sep 3mg; 23 Sep 2.5mg; 31 Oct 1.5mg; 22 Nov 0.5mg; 2023 1 Jan 0.25mg; 1 Mar OFF

Nortriptyline  2018 90mg to 2020 1 Dec down to 72.5mg; 2021 20 May 70mg; 8 Jun 67.5mg; 24 Jun 65mg; 31 July 60mg; 12 Oct 55mg; 23 Oct 50mg; 2022 13 Jan 40mg; 22 Jan 30mg; 29 Mar 20mg; 26 Apr 10mg; 3 Aug 5mg; 23 Sep 2.5mg; 2023 1 Jan - OFF

 

1 March 2023 - off all drugs - 6-year taper off three drugs.

 

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Thank you, Neroli.  Thank you, Dejavu.

 

This is partly something I wrote to another member. I have added a lot to it here, and I'm sure it's been said many times before, but it bears repeating:

 

How to avoid further harm at the hands of psychiatrists/doctors while in ADWD -- Avoid New Drugs

 

You are wise to avoid psychiatrists unless you could find one who understands how sensitive your system is and would fully understand that any new psychiatric drugs (and some antibiotics as well as adrenaline based numbing agents at the dentist's office) are completely out of the question for you.  That's the most important challenge in this thing we call ADWD -- the possibility that new drugs are more likely to do more harm than good (except for the very few that SA members have found to be worth the risk.  These will be recommended by moderators here.  Sometimes a member will find something that helps him or her, but I would be very cautious about trying anything other than fish oil and magnesium.).  

 

As for prescription drugs, for some reason that is very unfortunate, there are even fewer psychiatrists who understand that reinstating the drug that was removed is the only option that is in any way reasonably likely to help.  (Reinstatement is very tricky and must done with surprisingly small quantities.  Get advice from SA before you try it.  Often, it is not recommended.). Yet trying a new drug is precisely the advice that I see given to people time and time again by psychiatrists: "try something else."  Unless a Mod here suggests otherwise, avoid all new psychiatric drugs from this point forward if at all possible.  At times, some non-psychotropic drugs are necessary, but each one has the potential to further harm the sensitized system.  Most definitely avoid new psychiatric drugs!

 

You may be very tempted to try a new drug or a psychiatrst's help over the next few months.  I have had many bad waves during which I felt so awful that I questioned my resolve to stay drug free.  However, it is paying off now.  Please be aware that to many a psychiatrist who does not understand the particular iatrogenic harm we have suffered the only treatment is a new drug.  He believes that the old drug wasn't "working."  One doctor who IS aware says our syndrome is analogous to neurotoxin exposure.  Note it's "analogous" to that, not that we DID suffer neurotoxin exposure, but the idea of giving such a person a new AD drug is simply absurd except for very limited options.  (Those limited cases are identified by the moderators when they arise). The result of the harm that we have suffered is nearly identical to the syndrome cause by neurotoxins: a destabilized nervous system also known as a syndrome called "dysautonomia."  To risk further irritating that system with a New psychotropic substance is to misunderstand or even possibly be recklessly unaware of the possible harm and risk of severe consequences such a course of action would entail.  It seems unfathomable, but psychiatrists do this frequently.  

 

For me, once my system was destabilized severely by a cold drug switch, increasing the dosage of the new drug was the catalyst for further harm.  Increases were prescribed over and over again for literally 5 years.  The first harm to my system was from inconsistent dosing of the first AD.  I was never warned about inconsistent dosing, the danger of running out of the medication nor what symptoms to look for and seek help for should I miss doses.  Never.  Most likely my doctor had no earthly idea that this was an issue.  Eventually, that first AD, Celexa, was removed completely and suddenly and replaced by a second AD, Zoloft.  The dose of Zoloft was then raised time and again from 10 mg to 150 mg over the course of 5 years.  Finally, a benzo was added, Xanax.  That was the last straw for my nervous system.  It reacted poorly so much so that I identified the benzo as a factor.

 

It's hard for most people to imagine a doctor continually making the same mistake for 5 years while her patient became sicker and sicker and sicker, but that's precisely what happened.  In fact, there was never any attempt whatsoever to monitor me for side effects or adverse consequences.  I now have dystonia, but thankfully, it is resolving.  You can expect the treatment I received from any psychiatrst who might treat you now even though he may "know" you are showing signs of the very same harms detailed in the literature on adverse consequences for the drug in question.  

 

The doctor I saw prescribed the benzo, and luckily for me, I had a reaction to it.  Otherwise, I would be addicted to that.  Chances are that that benzo reaction sent me down the path to a my decision to rapidly taper Zoloft -- a removal no better than a CT.  That was the part that was really unfortunate about the benzo.  I had no idea that I needed to find a doctor who would recommend a very slow taper of Zoloft although SA existed at the time I quit Zoloft.  In fact, I saw a psychiatrst who prescribed a high dose of Trazodone!!!  It's unbelievable to me now, but this sort of malpractice is continuing to happen every single day even now.   My nervous system reacted accordingly to the Trazodone. It's a miracle I'm still alive.

 

Please, look for a psychiatrist who understand this syndrome when you are in a window.  Do not wait until your are in crisis to identify such a person.

 

 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Rosetta, you re such a wise and valuable person on this site.

 

Something you wrote, I think today, about hope I have saved and will use in my responses to members losing hope, if okay with you.

You are great!

Gridley Introduction

 

Lexapro 20 mg since 2004.  Begin Brassmonkey Slide Taper Jan. 2017.   

End 2017 year 1 of taper at 9.25mg 

End 2018 year 2 of taper at 4.1mg

End 2019 year 3 of taper at 1.0mg  

Oct. 30, 2020  Jump to zero from 0.025mg.  Current dose: 0.000mg

3 year, 10 month taper is 100% complete.

 

Ativan 1 mg to 1.875mg 1986-2020, two CT's and reinstatements

Nov. 2020, 7-week Ativan-Valium crossover to 18.75mg Valium

Feb. 2021, begin 10%/4 week taper of 18.75mg Valium 

End 2021  year 1 of Valium taper at 6mg

End 2022 year 2 of Valium taper at 2.75mg 

End 2023 year 3 of Valium taper at 1mg

Jan. 24, 2024: Hold at 1mg and shift to Imipramine taper.

Taper is 95% complete.

 

Imipramine 75 mg daily since 1986.  Jan.-Sept. 2016 tapered to 14.4mg  

March 22, 2022: Begin 10%/4 week taper

Aug. 5, 2022: hold at 9.5mg and shift to Valium taper

Jan. 24, 2024: Resume Imipramine taper.  Current dose as of Feb. 22: 7.6mg

Taper is 90% complete.  

  

Supplements: multiple, quercetin, omega-3, vitamins C, E and D3, magnesium glycinate, probiotics, zinc, melatonin .3mg, anti-candida, iron, serrapeptase, nattokinase


I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs.

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To the doctors:

 

It is my understanding that when people become suicidal that is when they are most vulnerable to the malpractice psychiatrists are committing everyday.  It's very important to refuse any and all new drugs if one is seeking help to keep one safe during such a time.  Psychiatrists inside inpatient facilities are apparently, in general, no more knowledgable than those outside.  This is your failing, doctors.  

 

You are the reason people do not want "help."  You chase symptoms that are in fact side effects or signs of iatrogenic harm caused by prior use of psychotropic drugs by prescribing new psychotropics drugs.  You ignore Akathisia.  Most of you have no idea that reintroduction of a tiny amount of the drug that was removed could be useful.  It is necessary to refuse for all but the tiniest dose of the drug removed prior.  However, such a dose will be mislabeled by you, the doctors, as "not a therapeutic dose."  

 

You ignore clear signs of tardive dystonia.  You ignore clear signs of tardive dyskinesia.  "Therapeutic dose" has nothing to do with treating a patient suffering from tardive Akathisia.  

 

There are far too many misinformed psychiatrists who cannot distinguish between dysautonomia, iatrogenic harm and the worsening of the patient's "original condition."  It appears that many psychiatrists are completely unaware of dysautonomia as an adverse consequence and are in denial that these drugs cause iatrogenic harm. 

 

You are completely aware that the pharmaceutical companies are doing the only research and that they have a financial conflict of interest, but you rely on their "research" findings regardless.  You never believe the patient.  You never even give the patient the benefit of the doubt.  I, as a person, in the midst of months of recurring akathisia have been able to find the answers, but you, by and large, have not even tried to share what you know with other doctors.  (A tiny fraction of you have, and I thank you.)

 

What are you, doctors, doing to fix this problem?  I am out of the danger zone now, but for those who have yet to travel my path, what are you doing to correct the disasterous malpractice that is profession wide?  That is killing people?

 

I am not recommending this to other patients, but I suffered through my suicidal episodes without the help of any doctor because I had a husband who understood that it was simply too dangerous for me to consult a psychiatrist.  I was never able to safely admit suicidal ideation to ANY doctor.  Not once was I ever able to get the help my husband and I needed.  This is the real failure of psychiatry: there are not many psychiatrists who understand enough to avoid almost daily life-threatening malpractice.  They are very likely to increase the risk of suicide via their misinformed prescribing practices.  I couldn't take the chance that forced "treatment" would increase the severity of my Akathisia and result in my death.   My husband couldn't take the risk that you, doctors, would increase the risk my child would lose her mother.

 

I felt that I had to resolve to not get help from doctors for myself and be willing to live with the consequences because the possibility I would survive on my own was infinitely greater than the near certainty you would cause further damage to my nervous system.  It was an enormous risk for me, but then again it was no risk AT ALL because the possibility that you would care for me without forcing a new medication into my body was nearly nil.  The possibility that you would increase the severity of my Akathisia was too great.  

 

I was lucky to have someone by my side helping me survive.  You, doctors, gave me no other choice.  You left me out in the cold after your colleagues destroyed my nervous system.  

 

We all need that person in our lives who understands and will sit with us until the wave passes.  Most of us are not that lucky.  For most of us, all we have are doctors and their ignorance that may kill us.  What are you doctors going to do about it?  Are you going to spread the word?  Are you going to encourage and try to fund independent research?  Or do you have another round of golf to play instead?  Here's an idea: spread the word while you play golf!!  When you are facing the end of your life I hope you remember me -- the person who has faced the end of hers without appropriate care or hope far too many times because you were silent.

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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Of course, @Gridley. Please do.

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus
4 hours ago, Rosetta said:

To the doctors:

Bravo! Perfectly, painfully, truthfully stated.

 

You are amazing!!

2016 - Zoloft 50 mg for klonopin w/d

Approx. Nov 2017 - successful taper of klonopin; Approx. Jan. 2018 - rapid taper Zoloft over 2 wks - no w/d symptoms; May 2018 - Reinstate 50 mg Zoloft per doctor; Aug 2018 - Rapid taper Zoloft over 3-4 weeks - no w/d symptoms for 1 mo.; Late Oct 2018 - pdoc rx'd 5mg lexapro -took for 1 wk; Early Nov 2018 - Reinstate 25 mg Zoloft; updose to 37.5 on Nov 28, 2018; Nov 30 2018 - returned to 25mg Zoloft upon mod. advice; Dec 9 - Dec10 2018 - 12.5mg zoloft liquid+12.5mg zoloft pill; Dec 11 2018 - 25mg zoloft all liquid; Feb 14 2019 - updosed to 26.25 mg liquid; Mar 6 2019 - updosed to 26.88 mg liquid - new symptoms; Mar 13 2019 - back down to 26.25 mg per mod suggestion

Dose Changes: Dec 2 2019 - 5% to 25mg; Jan 14 2020 - 10% to 22.5 (increase in sxs all month); Mar 10-15? 2020,  accidental updose to 25mg; Mar 22 2020 - back down to 22.5mg; Apr 12 2020 - 2.5% to 21.94mg; Apr 19 2020 - 2.5% to 21.375mg (symptom increase); May 17 2020 - 2.5% to 20.625mg; May 24 2020 - 2.5% to 20.1mg - Jun 14 2020 - noticed uptick in symptoms settled 2 days later - July 10 2020 - onset of wave

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Thanks @Dejavu. I wasn't having neuro anger yesterday either.  That was pure me.

 

Journal:

 

Today has been ok.  No anxiety!  So rare to feel no anxiety.  Quite low energy, but I went for a walk anyway.  Volunteered for art and had lunch with my daughter.  I was at the school for 3 hours.  Then, I went to the library after school to get weekend books.  Another hour at the school.  Afterward, I had to go to the store for cat food and toilet paper.  My husband had asked me to, and I decided I could do it.  I took my daughter, stayed out way too long and became very, very fatigued.  Still no anxiety.  Home now resting.  This fatigue is so strong.  Its clearly a result of a malfunction in my body.  Once again, I'm just glad I'm not anxious.

 

My period is coming.  I'm very concerned that it will be awful,.  I'm afraid of getting akathisia or having meltdowns, but I can't do anything about that.  This is normal, rational concern, not out of this world chrmical anxiety.  So, that's a good sign. I'm trying to enjoy the moment eventhough my muscles are stiff.

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

Link to comment

So much muscle tension pain today.  It makes me wish I could take my head off -- as if that might release the pressure.  The tension is in my chest, neck, shoulders, all around the back of the head, jaw, cheeks, temples.  I awoke in the night with this tension being very strong and the feeling was also in my legs and arms.  My joints are being pulled at by the muscles such that they ache and my knees feel unsteady as I use the stairs.  Again, I think this must be the flu-like symptoms that people report. 

 

I spent about two hours in a hot bath this morning.  It's the only thing that helps.  

 

 

My period started yesterday.  I never had this much muscle tension before during my period although I did have terrible headaches and cramps back then.

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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  • Mentor
5 hours ago, Rosetta said:

So much muscle tension pain today.  It makes me wish I could take my head off -- as if that might release the pressure.  The tension is in my chest, neck, shoulders, all around the back of the head, jaw, cheeks, temples.  I awoke in the night with this tension being very strong and the feeling was also in my legs and arms.  My joints are being pulled at by the muscles such that they ache and my knees feel unsteady as I use the stairs.  Again, I think this must be the flu-like symptoms that people report. 

 

I spent about two hours in a hot bath this morning.  It's the only thing that helps.  

 

 

My period started yesterday.  I never had this much muscle tension before during my period although I did have terrible headaches and cramps back then.

 

Hi Rosetta,

 

i’ve experienced Similar symptoms - I felt like the muscles were hurting the bones! I hope you feel better soon. Hot baths are a great idea.

 

warmest wishes

 

Rich

 = medication taken now

2007 quetiapine to March 2019 200mg

2019 quetiapine March to present 225mg 

2007 citalopram to present 40mg 
2018 March Abilify 5mg  
2019 Abilify February rapid taper over 3 weeks from 5mg to off

2019 March Clonazepam as required, taken very occasionally, then taken 0.5mg for 2 days 28th and 29th March, now phased out

2019 1st April reinstated Abilify 0.5mg / day 

2018 to 2020 Liquid B12 2g twice daily (diagnosed B12 deficiency) 

2020 July reduced quetiapine to 200mg

2022 October began taper of Abilify
 

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Thanks @RichT

 

Journal: 

 

Today has been somewhat better than yesterday.  The night was tough.  The usual waking up in fear in the dark and in pain from intense muscle tension.  When morning came, I was in a lot of muscle pain, and I was irritable.  I hurt from my temples to my toes as if I had been poisoned.

 

I read something about histamines being a cause of PMS.  I'm skeptical that an anti-histamine diet would help, but it's worth a shot.  February and March are the rainy months here, and I'm wondering if PMS is worse then because of the flowers causing a stronger histamine reaction?  However, it's been raining all of April and May, too, this year (very unusual) yet this PMS isn't as bad as March and April.  Maybe the extra month of rain doesn't matter because many plants flower only once.  The heaviest pollen was in March and April as usual possibly.

 

Will the histamine issues ever resolve, I wonder.

 

No motivation today.  I did almost nothing but rest.  I watched TV,  The pain finally eased around 2:00 or 3:00 pm.  It's very exhausting.  I didn't take any ibuprophen.  I read that there is a chemical in all those medications that can cause problems.

 

I'm trying to feel grateful that pain was the worst symptom today.

 

 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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Hi Rosetta

 

You keep going despite your pains and other symptoms.

 

You are strong and generous with your support for other people.

 

Warmest wishes

 

Neroli 💜

2006 Citalopram 20mg on and off to 2013.  April 2013 - July 2014  Sertraline, Venlafaxine, Fluoxetine, Mirtazapine v. bad reactions. July 2014 - CT Mirtazapine.  July 2014 - February 2016 Medication free, long term w/d.  February - July 2016 Fluoxetine.  Medication free, long term w/d syndrome.  2017 Jan physical breakdown.

2017 February - March Escitalopram, Nortriptyline instated.  Lorazepam, Zopiclone PRN.  April 2017 Lithium Carbonate 250mg 1 wk. 14 August 2017 finish cross to Diazepam 22.5mg daily, stop Zopiclone

Tapers:

Diazepam 

2017 21 August - 30 Dec 21.25mg to 14.5mg 2018 6 Jan - 11 May to 12mg.  2 June updose to 12.25mg - hold. 2019 (0.5mg cuts) 12 Jan - 28 Dec 12mg to 10mg 2020 (0.25mg cuts) - 25 Jan - 29 Dec 9.75mg to 6.25mg 2021 *May have bungled dose and accidentally took 1mg more for about a month (7.25mg), so 4 Jan started again at 6.5mg; 19 Jan 6.25mg; 1 Feb 6.0mg; 23 Feb 5.75mg; 9 Mar 5.5mg; 23 Mar 5.25mg; 9 Apr 5.0mg; 6 May 4.75mg; 13 May 4.5mg; 6 Jun 4mg; 12 July 3.5mg; 2 sep 3.0mg; 15 Sep 2.5mg; 1 Nov 2mg; 15 Nov 1.5mg; 16 Dec 1mg; 26 Dec 0.5mg; 2022 1 Jan - OFF

Escitalopram - 2022 1 Mar to 9mg; 29 Mar 8mg; 24 May 7mg; 21 Jun 5mg; 19 Jul 4mg; 1 Sep 3mg; 23 Sep 2.5mg; 31 Oct 1.5mg; 22 Nov 0.5mg; 2023 1 Jan 0.25mg; 1 Mar OFF

Nortriptyline  2018 90mg to 2020 1 Dec down to 72.5mg; 2021 20 May 70mg; 8 Jun 67.5mg; 24 Jun 65mg; 31 July 60mg; 12 Oct 55mg; 23 Oct 50mg; 2022 13 Jan 40mg; 22 Jan 30mg; 29 Mar 20mg; 26 Apr 10mg; 3 Aug 5mg; 23 Sep 2.5mg; 2023 1 Jan - OFF

 

1 March 2023 - off all drugs - 6-year taper off three drugs.

 

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Aww, thank you, @neroli

 

The last two days have involved very anxious wake ups in the night with a feeling of being overheated.  I throw off the covers.  After that, as my body cools, I get very cold. I heat my shoulder wrap and clear my back in bed.  At wake up time in the morning (6:45) I begin to get quite anxious.  It builds and builds.  This morning it was hard for me to do much besides get my daughter dressed.  After that I had to just sit and read until some of the anxiety wore off.  In the afternoons I'm fatigued, and in the evenings I feel mostly "normal" and relaxed.  Close to bedtime, which is 8:00 for me, I'm exhausted.

 

I had no exercise for three days - Sat, Sun and Monday, but today I went for a long walk.  We had another "very important toy lost at school" incident today.  It's very hard for me to see my daughter so upset.  I was ok for a while, but as we walked around looking for this stuffy, I began to feel quite worn and emotionally spent.  We never found it.  

 

After we got home, we went to my daughter's gymnastics class and dinner.  I feel ok now, but I'm not looking forward to another night full of neuro fear and neuro sadness.  I'm hoping it won't happen tonight.

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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that describes my days and nights very well. my husband tells me to not anticipate a bad night/next day as it will be a self-fulfilling prophecy. i find it hard to stop looking too far forward and this is where mindfulness comes in. i have to constantly remind myself to live in the moment and not try to predict the future all the time. keep going - you're doing really well looking after your littlun despite everything that's going on xxx

Took prozac 40 mg for 20 years.

January 2017 started cutting down prozac by 12.5% a week. End of February 2017 completely off prozac and withdrawals began.

Currently taking Levothyroxine 75 mcg, Magnesium citrate 200mg,Sage leaf 50mg daily

Amlodipine: October 2017 , discontinued 26 Feb 2019; Candesartan:  26 Feb 2019, 4mg.

Discontinued magnesium citrate 200mg Apr 3rd 2019

Reinstated prozac:  14 Jan 2019, 1mg; 26 Jan, 1.5mg; 4 Feb, 2mg; 16 Feb, 2.5mg; 2 Mar, 3mg; 5 Mar, 2.5mg, 23 Mar, 3 mg; 6 Apr, 3.5mg, 14 Apr 4mg, 23 Apr 5mg, 10 Jul 8mg, 1 Dec 20mg, 1 Apr 2020 40mg 

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5 hours ago, Rosetta said:

I began to feel quite worn and emotionally spent. 

 

Yes, Rosetta, this whole experience makes one feel worn and spent on all fronts.  What She refers to as battle fatigue.

 

5 hours ago, Rosetta said:

I feel ok now

 

I"m glad you've had some moments of feeling ok - a bit of a breather from the insistent symptoms.  May there be many more...and more...and more ok moments

 

Neroli 💜

2006 Citalopram 20mg on and off to 2013.  April 2013 - July 2014  Sertraline, Venlafaxine, Fluoxetine, Mirtazapine v. bad reactions. July 2014 - CT Mirtazapine.  July 2014 - February 2016 Medication free, long term w/d.  February - July 2016 Fluoxetine.  Medication free, long term w/d syndrome.  2017 Jan physical breakdown.

2017 February - March Escitalopram, Nortriptyline instated.  Lorazepam, Zopiclone PRN.  April 2017 Lithium Carbonate 250mg 1 wk. 14 August 2017 finish cross to Diazepam 22.5mg daily, stop Zopiclone

Tapers:

Diazepam 

2017 21 August - 30 Dec 21.25mg to 14.5mg 2018 6 Jan - 11 May to 12mg.  2 June updose to 12.25mg - hold. 2019 (0.5mg cuts) 12 Jan - 28 Dec 12mg to 10mg 2020 (0.25mg cuts) - 25 Jan - 29 Dec 9.75mg to 6.25mg 2021 *May have bungled dose and accidentally took 1mg more for about a month (7.25mg), so 4 Jan started again at 6.5mg; 19 Jan 6.25mg; 1 Feb 6.0mg; 23 Feb 5.75mg; 9 Mar 5.5mg; 23 Mar 5.25mg; 9 Apr 5.0mg; 6 May 4.75mg; 13 May 4.5mg; 6 Jun 4mg; 12 July 3.5mg; 2 sep 3.0mg; 15 Sep 2.5mg; 1 Nov 2mg; 15 Nov 1.5mg; 16 Dec 1mg; 26 Dec 0.5mg; 2022 1 Jan - OFF

Escitalopram - 2022 1 Mar to 9mg; 29 Mar 8mg; 24 May 7mg; 21 Jun 5mg; 19 Jul 4mg; 1 Sep 3mg; 23 Sep 2.5mg; 31 Oct 1.5mg; 22 Nov 0.5mg; 2023 1 Jan 0.25mg; 1 Mar OFF

Nortriptyline  2018 90mg to 2020 1 Dec down to 72.5mg; 2021 20 May 70mg; 8 Jun 67.5mg; 24 Jun 65mg; 31 July 60mg; 12 Oct 55mg; 23 Oct 50mg; 2022 13 Jan 40mg; 22 Jan 30mg; 29 Mar 20mg; 26 Apr 10mg; 3 Aug 5mg; 23 Sep 2.5mg; 2023 1 Jan - OFF

 

1 March 2023 - off all drugs - 6-year taper off three drugs.

 

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This morning is really bad.  I had a quite intense cortisol awakening in the middle of the night.  I lay there in fear for a long time.  My body didn't overheat much, but instead I felt nauseous.  

 

After I woke up for the day, the anxiety built and built.  This is how it was in the beginning.  I would wake up and get more and more fearful as the moments passed.  Closing my eyes again make it worse.  The difference now is that I still feel sleepy.  If I close my eyes I start to imagine horrible things happening -- things that could happen in real life like accidents or people trying to hurt me or my daughter.  It used to be that I didn't feel sleepy, but the same thing would happen.

 

Today, I had to avoid getting my daughter up for school.  That's how bad it is.  I couldn't go through the effort of making her wake up.  I was so afraid of having an emotional meltdown.  Even at 9:45, I feel a lot of fear and anxiety.  My stomach is growling.  I'm wondering if this is a low blood sugar issue.  I used to get up in the night and eat cheese or a hot dog to try to avoid this feeling.

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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Oops!

 

 

2007 - 2008          Paxil and Klonopin

2008 - 2012           Mirtazapine following CT from Klonopin and Paxil.  

2012                       Unsuccessful taper of mirtazapine; reinstated.     

7/2013 - 1/2014   Successfully tapered mirtazapine from 7.5 mg to 0.00.

 

Sertraline (Zoloft) Taper  Aug 4, 2017 - July 18, 2021 - Current dose 0.00

Alprazolam (Xanax)  July 19, 2017 - Nov 15, 2021 0.25 mg.

Began 10% taper  Nov 16, 2021 - 0.25  Jan 11, 2022 - 0.203;  Jan 13, 2023 - 0.0499;  Jan 21, 2024 - 0.0137;  Mar 17, 2024 - 0.0099;  Taper is 96% complete.

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27 minutes ago, Rosetta said:

After I woke up for the day, the anxiety built and built.  This is how it was in the beginning.  I would wake up and get more and more fearful as the moments passed.  Closing my eyes again make it worse.  The difference now is that I still feel sleepy.  If I close my eyes I start to imagine horrible things happening -- things that could happen in real life like accidents or people trying to hurt me or my daughter.  It used to be that I didn't feel sleepy, but the same thing would happen.

It just seems so cruel to have to suffer like that after being drug free for over 2 years.  I feel sad for you and for everyone on this forum who is dealing with these horrible WD symptoms.  I hope things ease up for you SOON.

2007 - 2008          Paxil and Klonopin

2008 - 2012           Mirtazapine following CT from Klonopin and Paxil.  

2012                       Unsuccessful taper of mirtazapine; reinstated.     

7/2013 - 1/2014   Successfully tapered mirtazapine from 7.5 mg to 0.00.

 

Sertraline (Zoloft) Taper  Aug 4, 2017 - July 18, 2021 - Current dose 0.00

Alprazolam (Xanax)  July 19, 2017 - Nov 15, 2021 0.25 mg.

Began 10% taper  Nov 16, 2021 - 0.25  Jan 11, 2022 - 0.203;  Jan 13, 2023 - 0.0499;  Jan 21, 2024 - 0.0137;  Mar 17, 2024 - 0.0099;  Taper is 96% complete.

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Shocking isn't it?  Thanks, @Terry.  Hopefully karma will punish the people who are doing this to us.  Some of them are fully culpable, and many of them are ignoring the clear evidence of this epidemic of iatrogenic injury.  

 

The whole package is not as bad as at the beginning.  Not at all, but that particular symptom -- cortisol awakening and subsequent debilitating anxiety -- is very intense right now.  No SI, no DP, no DR, and no Akathisia.  Having all of that at once was pure Hell.  Sometimes I am still surprised that I survived it.

 

In the afternoon, the anxiety disappeared and I developed muscle tension pain in my face, neck and shoulders.  Reading is impossible.  Despite that I picked up my daughter, took her to the library, went to her music lesson and to the grocery store.  Thankfully, my husband was able to drive after I brought my daughter home from school.  Otherwise, I think I would have skipped that trip for music and grocery shopping.

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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(((((Rosetta))))) 💕 Thinking of you my friend, K xo

  • Citalopram 20mg - 40mg ~ approx 2010 - October 2015 (stopped over one week)
  • Parnate  20mg - 50mg and olazapine 5mg ~ Jan 2016 - May 2016 (ceased over 2 days) 
  • Lithium 450mg-900 mg and Thyroxin ~May 2016 - May 2017
  • Diazepam various doses (including PRN) ~ 2015 - 2017
  • Oxazepam various doses (including PRN) ~ May 2016 - June 2016
  • Lurasidone 20mg ~Mid May 2016 - Mid June 2016
  • Vortioxetine 10mg - 20mg ~ 6th June 2016 - 20th July 2016 (abruptly ceased)
  • Amitriptyline 200mg ~July 2016 - September 2016 (ceased over 1 week)
  • Nortriptyline  (dose ?) ~October 2016 ~ November 2016 (abruptly ceased)
  • Seroquel XR 100mg - 300mg ~ May 2016 - August 2017 (ceased over 3 weeks)
  • Escitalopram 10mg - 30mg ~ August 2016 - March 2017 (ceased over 2 weeks)
  • Bupropion 300mg ~ December 2016 - May 2017 (ceased over 1 week)
  • Clonazepam 1.5mg daily ~ July 2016 (started tapering May 2017 - September 2017 currently on 0.375mg..ie 0.125mg TDS) 27th May 2018 5% 0.357mg (possible paradoxical reaction - see benzo thread)  28th June 5% 0.337mg, 28th July 10% 0.303mg, 12th September10% 0.272mg, 18th September reinstated 10% due to intolerable WD 0.303mg, 1st October-11th Oct 10% (1% reduction over 10 days) 0.272mg, 22nd October clonazepam ceased crossed over 10mg diazepam
  •  Dexamphatamine 20mg ~ December 2016 (started tapering October 2017 - tapered 1.25mg 4th Dec 2017, 1.25mg 19th Dec 2017 6.25mg, Speed up decrease due to major interaction between Dex and fluoxetine- ref to thread 10% 17th Feb 2018 5.63mg, 10% 21st Feb 2018 5.1mg, 10% 26th Feb 2018 4.5mg 10% 28th Feb 4.1mg, 10% 1st March 3.7mg, 10% 5th March 3.3mg, 10% 8th March 3mg, 10% 10th March 2.7mg, 10% 12th March 2.4mg, 10% 14th March 2.16mg, 10% 16th March 1.94mg, 10% 18th March 1.74mg, 10% 20th March 1.57mg, 10% 21st March 1.41mg, 10% 22nd March 1.26mg, 10% 23rd March 1.13mg, 10% 24th March 1.01mg, 10% 25th March 0.9mg, 10% 27th March 0.81mg, 10% 29th March 0.73mg, 10% 31st March 0.66mg, 10% 2nd April 0.59mg , 10% 4th April 0.53mg, 10% 6th April 0.47mg, 10% 8th April 0.42mg, 10%10th April 0.37mg, 11th April 0.2mg, 12th April 0.1mg (last dose) OFF! 
  • Fluoxetine 40mg ~December 2016 - 31 Jan 2018 reduced to 20mg (probable serotonin toxicity) 10th March 2020 10mg (1:1 ratio), 7th April 9mg, 1st May 8.5mg, 15th May 8.0mg, 27th May 7.5mg, 8th Sept 7.2mg, 2nd Oct 7mg, 19th Oct 6.8mg, 28th Oct 6.6mg, 5th Nov 6.4mg, 26th Nov 6mg, 2nd April 2021 5.9mg, 9th April 5.8mg, 19th April 5.75mg, 22nd April 5.7mg, 26th April 5.65mg,28th April 5.6mg, 1st May 5.5mg, 4th May 5.45mg, 7th May 5.4mg, 10th May 5.35mg, 12th May 5.3mg, 15th May 5.25mg, 18th May 5.2mg, 20th May 5.15mg, 22nd May 5mg, 10th July 4.5mg, 9th Aug 4.48mg (switched from syringe to pipette method), 12th Aug 4.46mg, 14th Aug 4.4mg, 18th Aug 4.38mg, 19th Aug 4.36mg, 20th Aug 4.34, 21st 4.32mg, 22nd 4.3mg, 23rd Aug 4mg (hold), (micro-taper) 12th Oct 2021 3.98mg, 14th Oct 3.96mg, 15th Oct 3.94mg, 16th Oct 3.92mg, 17th Oct 3.9mg, 18th Oct 3.88mg, 19th Oct 3.86mg, 21st Oct 3.84mg, 22nd Oct 3.82mg, 23rd Oct 3.8mg, 24th Oct 3.78mg, 25th Oct 3.76mg, 26th Oct 3.74mg, 27th Oct 3.72mg, (WD reached intolerable level, reinstated 0.06mg) 28th Oct 3.8mg, 7th March 2022 3.7mg, 21st March 3.6mg, 4th April 3.5mg, 18th April 3.4mg, 2nd May 3.3mg, 16th May 3.2mg, 20th June 3.1mg, 4th July 3mg, 18th July 2.9mg, 12th September 2.7mg, 18th October 2.5mg, 14th Nov 2.3mg, 12th December 2.1mg, 18th January 2023 1.9mg, 9th July 2023 1.88mg, 16th July 1.86mg, 23rd July 1.84mg, 30th July 1.82mg, 6th Aug 1.80mg, 10th Sept 1.7mg, 12th Oct 1.68mg, 23rd Oct 1.66mg, 30th Oct 1.64mg, 6th Nov 1.62mg, 13th Nov 1.60mg, (2:1 ratio) 30th Dec 1.597mg, 7th Jan 2024 1.595mg, 8th 1.592mg,  10th 1.589, 11th 1.587, 12th 1.585, 13th 1.583, 14th 1.58 cont… 5th Feb 1.56mg, 11th Feb 1.55mg, 19th Feb 1.54mg, 26th Feb 1.53mg, 4th March 1.52mg, 11th March 1.51mg, 25th March 1.50mg, 1st April 1.49mg
  • Diazepam 10mg ~ 22nd Oct 2018, 10th November 8mg, 14th Nov 7mg, 8th December 6mg, 30th December 5mg (Nocte), 7th March 2019 4.5mg,14th March 4mg, 5th April 3.5mg, 9th April 3mg, 18th April 2.5mg,1st May 2mg, 17th May 1.75mg, 25th May 1.6mg, 4th June 1.59mg, 5th June 1.58mg, 6th June 1.57mg, 7th June 1.56mg, 8th June 1.55mg, 22nd June 1.4mg, 4th July 1.2mg, 16th July 1mg, 30th July 0.8mg, 13th Aug 0.6mg, 28th Aug 0.4mg, 10th Sept 0.2mg, 23rd Sept Off! 
  • SR Circadin 2mg (melatonin) 25th May - 20th June 
  • Zolpidem 10mg 25th May (7 tablets)
  • Supplements: Magnesium glycinate (soluble - sip throughout the day) 

 

"Whenever you feel yourself doubting how far you can go,  just remember how far you have come.  Remember everything you have faced, all the battles you have won, and all the fears you have overcome"    Unknown 

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Hi Rosetta....I am hoping you had an ok night...and that things are going ok for you.  

For me, the histamine is a big issue...I know this...made worse my the continuously jostled nervous system...merry go round.  I used to take Claritin often...dont know if can now...have to check on that.  Wanted you to know I am thinking about you and hold you in my heart thoughts and prayers always!!  Love and hugs to you my dear friend!💜

-Nardil 1976 < year, stopped. React to AD's. Klonopin .5BID 1990, 2.5mg til 2016

-Klonopin doubled Jan '16. Taper to 2.25mg May to Nov '16. Bad react to Lexapro, stop. React to Prevacid too, taper off. 

-November '16 Tapered .25mg Klonopin in hospital. Jan '17 started Viibryd, 20mg from Feb to June '17,     

-20mg to 10mg Viibryd from 3/25 to 6/10 2017, 12/15 10% Viibryd taper...back up next day

-Clonazepam 2mg to 1.85mg 4/14 '17 to end November; taper to 1mg Clonazepam in hospital 9/1 tp 9/14 '17

-Feb '18 Amiloride .25mg  5/18 off Amiloride d/t react. Clonaz compounded  

-4/27 '18 Viibryd 9.5mg, 6/11 9.0 mg, 1/27 '19 Viibryd 8.75mg, ; Clonazepam .2mg 530pm and .7mg 1130pm, Premarin .3mg 830PM CARAFATE QID 2/27/19 to 3/5/19

-July 6'19 1/2 10mg Claritin 230pm, stopped it about July 18, started Oct 11 '19, 

-7/27 Viibryd 8.5, 8/29 8.25, 10/24 8.0, 12/19 7.75, Feb '20 7.50, 3/20 7.25, 5/20 7.0, 6/20 6.75, 7/20 6.5, 8/20 6.25, 10/2 20 6.0, 11/25'20 5.75, 1/9/21 5.5, 2/23 5.25

-1015 AM Viibryd, vit D 4,000IU 130, 415 Clonazepam .2mg, 815 Premarin .3mg, 1015 Clonaz .7mg,

  1115 3t fish oil+D 1145 Castor Oil 650mg(4) 1230 Carafate 1/2GM,Methylated B Vit  1/week,Reacted Mag prn

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Hi Rosetta just wanted to stop by and say hi. It's good to see that some of those symptoms dropped off.

I agree also about the doctors. I recently had to go through the medical doctors again for my GI issues and it's all just a bunch of ignorance. Actually it's not ignorance they know what's going on.

I hope you have a good day today

March-2017-Dec-2017 ativanCT /reinstated ativan 1mg tapered 2 months/June 2017-April 2018 zyprexa 10mg switched to seroquel 200-300mg in april 2018/dec-2017-present zoloft 100mg/ quit seroquel 200-300mg cold turkey May 6 2018 reinstated seroquel 100mg around May 25 2018 since then tapered to 50mg zoloft and 50 mg of seroquel presently other medications Testosterone cypionate 2oomg every 4 days

UPDATE -August 20 2018--october 20 2018 tapered off Testosterone/Nov 7 2018 --Dec 20 2018 Lamictal micro dose 2.50mg 1 1/2 weeks then reduced to 1.25 then fast tapered as it became paridoxial.nausea- racing thoughts- agitation and insomnia.

August 28 2018 to Present Cannabis indica micro dose PM bedtime only.

Presently Seroquel 37.5 mg bedtime /Zoloft 47mg morning

May 2018-Present Multivitamin/ Bcomplex/Vit C 1000MG/B12 1000MCG/Fish oils 2grams/

Jan 2019-Trace mineral liquid low dose

Update dec 2019 -29mg of zoloft tapering/Seroquel 37.5 holding/1 or 2  ativan 1mg a month as needed if that.

Black seed oil-caprylic acid-/b complex/b12/multi/D/E/melatonin

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Sending lots of hugs your way Rosetta 🤗🤗🤗

Been on APs, benzos, ADs and opiates, for chronic pain. Had Akathisia in the past that made me suicidal. Still on Seroquel. 2019:➡️ March10=7.25mg ✔️ April17=7.0✔️ June5=6.75✔️ July14=6.50✔️ Aug28=6.25✔️ Oct10=6.20  ✔️ Oct21=6.0✔️ Dec16=5.80 ✔️ 2020➡️ Jan 21=5.60 ✔️ April2=5.40 ✔️ May29=5.20 ✔️ Aug14= 5.0 ✔️Sep29=4.80✔️2021➡️ Jan31=4.60 mg✔️ April24=4.40mg✔️Jul17=4.30mg ✔️ Aug 28=4.20 ✔️ Oct 11=4.15✔️Nov1=4.10 ✔️ Nov21= 4.05✔️ Dec13= 4mg ✔️2022 ➡️ Jan8=3.95✔️ Jan31=3.90✔️ March2=3.85 ✔️ April4=3.80 ✔️ June16=3.75✔️ July26=3.70✔️ Sep2=3.65✔️ Oct21=3.60 ✔️ Dec8=3.55✔️2023➡️ Jan 26=3.50✔️ March 17=3.45✔️ June12=3.40✔️ July30=3.35✔️ Sep14=3.30✔️ Oct31=3.25✔️This is NOT medical advice.Consult your doctor.

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