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Rosetta

Rosetta: CT May 2011 and too fast taper Feb 2017

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thecowisback

that describes my days and nights very well. my husband tells me to not anticipate a bad night/next day as it will be a self-fulfilling prophecy. i find it hard to stop looking too far forward and this is where mindfulness comes in. i have to constantly remind myself to live in the moment and not try to predict the future all the time. keep going - you're doing really well looking after your littlun despite everything that's going on xxx

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neroli
5 hours ago, Rosetta said:

I began to feel quite worn and emotionally spent. 

 

Yes, Rosetta, this whole experience makes one feel worn and spent on all fronts.  What She refers to as battle fatigue.

 

5 hours ago, Rosetta said:

I feel ok now

 

I"m glad you've had some moments of feeling ok - a bit of a breather from the insistent symptoms.  May there be many more...and more...and more ok moments

 

Neroli 💜

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Rosetta

This morning is really bad.  I had a quite intense cortisol awakening in the middle of the night.  I lay there in fear for a long time.  My body didn't overheat much, but instead I felt nauseous.  

 

After I woke up for the day, the anxiety built and built.  This is how it was in the beginning.  I would wake up and get more and more fearful as the moments passed.  Closing my eyes again make it worse.  The difference now is that I still feel sleepy.  If I close my eyes I start to imagine horrible things happening -- things that could happen in real life like accidents or people trying to hurt me or my daughter.  It used to be that I didn't feel sleepy, but the same thing would happen.

 

Today, I had to avoid getting my daughter up for school.  That's how bad it is.  I couldn't go through the effort of making her wake up.  I was so afraid of having an emotional meltdown.  Even at 9:45, I feel a lot of fear and anxiety.  My stomach is growling.  I'm wondering if this is a low blood sugar issue.  I used to get up in the night and eat cheese or a hot dog to try to avoid this feeling.

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Terry

Oops!

 

 

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Terry
27 minutes ago, Rosetta said:

After I woke up for the day, the anxiety built and built.  This is how it was in the beginning.  I would wake up and get more and more fearful as the moments passed.  Closing my eyes again make it worse.  The difference now is that I still feel sleepy.  If I close my eyes I start to imagine horrible things happening -- things that could happen in real life like accidents or people trying to hurt me or my daughter.  It used to be that I didn't feel sleepy, but the same thing would happen.

It just seems so cruel to have to suffer like that after being drug free for over 2 years.  I feel sad for you and for everyone on this forum who is dealing with these horrible WD symptoms.  I hope things ease up for you SOON.

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Rosetta

Shocking isn't it?  Thanks, @Terry.  Hopefully karma will punish the people who are doing this to us.  Some of them are fully culpable, and many of them are ignoring the clear evidence of this epidemic of iatrogenic injury.  

 

The whole package is not as bad as at the beginning.  Not at all, but that particular symptom -- cortisol awakening and subsequent debilitating anxiety -- is very intense right now.  No SI, no DP, no DR, and no Akathisia.  Having all of that at once was pure Hell.  Sometimes I am still surprised that I survived it.

 

In the afternoon, the anxiety disappeared and I developed muscle tension pain in my face, neck and shoulders.  Reading is impossible.  Despite that I picked up my daughter, took her to the library, went to her music lesson and to the grocery store.  Thankfully, my husband was able to drive after I brought my daughter home from school.  Otherwise, I think I would have skipped that trip for music and grocery shopping.

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Kristine

(((((Rosetta))))) 💕 Thinking of you my friend, K xo

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