Jump to content
SurvivingAntidepressants.org is temporarily closed to new registrations until 1 April ×

Rosetta: cold switch May 2011 & too fast taper Feb 2017


Rosetta

Recommended Posts

  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi Rosetta, 

 

Just wanted to pop by and see how you’re doing. I can’t read a lot due to severe brain fog but it’s nice to read that you’re having less rumination at night. I’m sorry you’re still having trouble with cortisol surges, I don’t have too much problem with that at the moment, but I have had problems with that in the past. I seem to wake up some mornings with my body buzzing. All the weird symptoms we get, hey.

 

Sending hugs🤗

Been on APs, benzos, ADs and opiates, for chronic pain. Had Akathisia in the past that made me suicidal. Still on Seroquel. 2019:➡️ March10=7.25mg ✔️ April17=7.0✔️ June5=6.75✔️ July14=6.50✔️ Aug28=6.25✔️ Oct10=6.20  ✔️ Oct21=6.0✔️ Dec16=5.80 ✔️ 2020➡️ Jan 21=5.60 ✔️ April2=5.40 ✔️ May29=5.20 ✔️ Aug14= 5.0 ✔️Sep29=4.80✔️2021➡️ Jan31=4.60 mg✔️ April24=4.40mg✔️Jul17=4.30mg ✔️ Aug 28=4.20 ✔️ Oct 11=4.15✔️Nov1=4.10 ✔️ Nov21= 4.05✔️ Dec13= 4mg ✔️2022 ➡️ Jan8=3.95✔️ Jan31=3.90✔️ March2=3.85 ✔️ April4=3.80 ✔️ June16=3.75✔️ July26=3.70✔️ Sep2=3.65✔️ Oct21=3.60 ✔️ Dec8=3.55✔️2023➡️ Jan 26=3.50✔️ March 17=3.45✔️ June12=3.40✔️ July30=3.35✔️ Sep14=3.30✔️ Oct31=3.25✔️This is NOT medical advice.Consult your doctor.

Link to comment

Oh Rosetta I am sad for your difficult visit with your mother.  I give you much much credit for going...but know it was very hard.  Sometimes seeing the reality now that we couldn't see as a child can be helpful over time.  I hope this for you as you move forward through it all.

So happy to hear about your walk, preparations for your trip, and the symptoms that seem to continue to improve over all?  I hope that is true.  

I am happy that your daughter is going to camp and that the trips seem to be easier to think about than last year.

Hope I am reading your posts ok.  Little foggy.

When do you leave?  It will be such a nice trip for all of you I think.  Sometimes getting away is a good thing...I hope this for you and your family!!

Think of you daily and love you my friend!!  Love and hugs Rosetta! 💜

-Nardil 1976 < year, stopped. React to AD's. Klonopin .5BID 1990, 2.5mg til 2016

-Klonopin doubled Jan '16. Taper to 2.25mg May to Nov '16. Bad react to Lexapro, stop. React to Prevacid too, taper off. 

-November '16 Tapered .25mg Klonopin in hospital. Jan '17 started Viibryd, 20mg from Feb to June '17,     

-20mg to 10mg Viibryd from 3/25 to 6/10 2017, 12/15 10% Viibryd taper...back up next day

-Clonazepam 2mg to 1.85mg 4/14 '17 to end November; taper to 1mg Clonazepam in hospital 9/1 tp 9/14 '17

-Feb '18 Amiloride .25mg  5/18 off Amiloride d/t react. Clonaz compounded  

-4/27 '18 Viibryd 9.5mg, 6/11 9.0 mg, 1/27 '19 Viibryd 8.75mg, ; Clonazepam .2mg 530pm and .7mg 1130pm, Premarin .3mg 830PM CARAFATE QID 2/27/19 to 3/5/19

-July 6'19 1/2 10mg Claritin 230pm, stopped it about July 18, started Oct 11 '19, 

-7/27 Viibryd 8.5, 8/29 8.25, 10/24 8.0, 12/19 7.75, Feb '20 7.50, 3/20 7.25, 5/20 7.0, 6/20 6.75, 7/20 6.5, 8/20 6.25, 10/2 20 6.0, 11/25'20 5.75, 1/9/21 5.5, 2/23 5.25

-1015 AM Viibryd, vit D 4,000IU 130, 415 Clonazepam .2mg, 815 Premarin .3mg, 1015 Clonaz .7mg,

  1115 3t fish oil+D 1145 Castor Oil 650mg(4) 1230 Carafate 1/2GM,Methylated B Vit  1/week,Reacted Mag prn

Link to comment

Hi Rosetta

 

Popping in to say all the best for your trip.  Not long now.

 

You are doing so well and coping admirably - you do need to give yourself credit for that.  Even 100% well, all the activities and sorting out for travel can be taxing, so you are being super-human!

 

Wishing you the best and sending love

 

Neroli 💜💜💜

2006 Citalopram 20mg on and off to 2013.  April 2013 - July 2014  Sertraline, Venlafaxine, Fluoxetine, Mirtazapine v. bad reactions. July 2014 - CT Mirtazapine.  July 2014 - February 2016 Medication free, long term w/d.  February - July 2016 Fluoxetine.  Medication free, long term w/d syndrome.  2017 Jan physical breakdown.

2017 February - March Escitalopram, Nortriptyline instated.  Lorazepam, Zopiclone PRN.  April 2017 Lithium Carbonate 250mg 1 wk. 14 August 2017 finish cross to Diazepam 22.5mg daily, stop Zopiclone

Tapers:

Diazepam 

2017 21 August - 30 Dec 21.25mg to 14.5mg 2018 6 Jan - 11 May to 12mg.  2 June updose to 12.25mg - hold. 2019 (0.5mg cuts) 12 Jan - 28 Dec 12mg to 10mg 2020 (0.25mg cuts) - 25 Jan - 29 Dec 9.75mg to 6.25mg 2021 *May have bungled dose and accidentally took 1mg more for about a month (7.25mg), so 4 Jan started again at 6.5mg; 19 Jan 6.25mg; 1 Feb 6.0mg; 23 Feb 5.75mg; 9 Mar 5.5mg; 23 Mar 5.25mg; 9 Apr 5.0mg; 6 May 4.75mg; 13 May 4.5mg; 6 Jun 4mg; 12 July 3.5mg; 2 sep 3.0mg; 15 Sep 2.5mg; 1 Nov 2mg; 15 Nov 1.5mg; 16 Dec 1mg; 26 Dec 0.5mg; 2022 1 Jan - OFF

Escitalopram - 2022 1 Mar to 9mg; 29 Mar 8mg; 24 May 7mg; 21 Jun 5mg; 19 Jul 4mg; 1 Sep 3mg; 23 Sep 2.5mg; 31 Oct 1.5mg; 22 Nov 0.5mg; 2023 1 Jan 0.25mg; 1 Mar OFF

Nortriptyline  2018 90mg to 2020 1 Dec down to 72.5mg; 2021 20 May 70mg; 8 Jun 67.5mg; 24 Jun 65mg; 31 July 60mg; 12 Oct 55mg; 23 Oct 50mg; 2022 13 Jan 40mg; 22 Jan 30mg; 29 Mar 20mg; 26 Apr 10mg; 3 Aug 5mg; 23 Sep 2.5mg; 2023 1 Jan - OFF

 

1 March 2023 - off all drugs - 6-year taper off three drugs.

 

Link to comment

Hello Rosetta. I have been reading up on your thread regularly. You are very brave and strong. Wishing you lots of healing 💙

Put on sertraline in January 2016 50 mg. 100mg Feb 16-May18 

may 18 50 mg some withdrawals 

august 18 rapid taper off. September 22 put on 50 mg due to withdrawals 

 2 weeks later up to 100mg. Bad reaction 

on 100 for 4 weeks. Then 50 for two weeks 25 for two weeks and 25 every other day for a week 

off since 8 December having waves and windows 

Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi Rosetta, 

 

I hope you’re coping as best you can. I hope you have a lovely time on your trip, sending hugs🤗

Been on APs, benzos, ADs and opiates, for chronic pain. Had Akathisia in the past that made me suicidal. Still on Seroquel. 2019:➡️ March10=7.25mg ✔️ April17=7.0✔️ June5=6.75✔️ July14=6.50✔️ Aug28=6.25✔️ Oct10=6.20  ✔️ Oct21=6.0✔️ Dec16=5.80 ✔️ 2020➡️ Jan 21=5.60 ✔️ April2=5.40 ✔️ May29=5.20 ✔️ Aug14= 5.0 ✔️Sep29=4.80✔️2021➡️ Jan31=4.60 mg✔️ April24=4.40mg✔️Jul17=4.30mg ✔️ Aug 28=4.20 ✔️ Oct 11=4.15✔️Nov1=4.10 ✔️ Nov21= 4.05✔️ Dec13= 4mg ✔️2022 ➡️ Jan8=3.95✔️ Jan31=3.90✔️ March2=3.85 ✔️ April4=3.80 ✔️ June16=3.75✔️ July26=3.70✔️ Sep2=3.65✔️ Oct21=3.60 ✔️ Dec8=3.55✔️2023➡️ Jan 26=3.50✔️ March 17=3.45✔️ June12=3.40✔️ July30=3.35✔️ Sep14=3.30✔️ Oct31=3.25✔️This is NOT medical advice.Consult your doctor.

Link to comment

Thank you @Rabe My dear, dear friend.  You are there for me, and I am very grateful.  I'm hoping that the neuro emotions are causing the extreme feelings.  Perhaps I'll be at peace with the past someday.  I try to focus on making my daughter feel loved and wanted -- if I can do that maybe the child I was will feel that way, too.  I can only hope.  Thank you for all your warm wishes.  

 

We leave one week from today.  It's ok.  What will be will be.  I can adjust.  I do feel some happiness and excitement about going.  For a very long time that feeling has been almost non-existent for me about almost everything no matter how simple.  Usually, I dread having to do anything at all.  I want to hide, but that doesn't take away the feeling of everything being wrong.

 

Thanks for your note, @Carmie.  I'm glad your cortisol issues are absent.  You are a very kind and giving soul.  Thanks for all your support to me and everyone else.

 

@DMV64 @wantrelief @neroli @FarmGirlWorksWhat would I do without you all by my side?  Thank you!

 

The last THREE nights were more peaceful than most.  Still some fear in the darkness.  Anxiety in the morning, of course.  Not always upon awakening, but usually.  If not upon awakening, later whilst trying to get my daughter to camp.  Having breakfast helps.  It's hard to get enough to eat.  I have lack of appetite so often.  A long walk is both good and bad.  I went on Friday. (Today is Sunday).  I get tired from it, but not relaxed.  

 

@Heal95 Nice to meet you.  Thank you for the compliments.  I suppose I am, but only because I have to be for someone else.  But you are right.  I am powering through this one way or another.  It is my only option, and I won't give up.  So few people will ever know how hard this is to survive.  I hope you have a much more mild version than I do, Heal.

 

I got new contacts!!  My first in about 2 years.  I had given up on them in the midst of my very severe dysautonomia.  I need bifocals, and I can't use bifocal contacts because of a strange issue with one eye.  My new contacts are hard to get used to.  If I wear bifocals I don't feel sick to my stomach and dizzy, but with the contacts I do.  I can't see anything up close.  When I get the right reading glasses perhaps it will be better.  Right now I feel dizzy a lot.  Often I am well hydrated but feeling as if I am not and well fed but feeling as if my blood sugar is low.  I'm wondering if my vision is involved in those sensations.  I'm going to have to learn to ignore my visual input except when I look across the room unless I have my reading glasses on.  There is an in between point that can't be corrected.  I suppose people get used to this.  I'm not sure if it will get better as I heal from protracted WD or not.  I have a strong sense that dysautonomia (protracted WD) has affected the ability of my eyes to focus.  

 

Today is a better day.  I slept better than I have in many weeks.  The period of lying awake was short.  

 

 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus

So glad to hear that you’re having a better day and that you got a good sleep Rosetta.💚

Been on APs, benzos, ADs and opiates, for chronic pain. Had Akathisia in the past that made me suicidal. Still on Seroquel. 2019:➡️ March10=7.25mg ✔️ April17=7.0✔️ June5=6.75✔️ July14=6.50✔️ Aug28=6.25✔️ Oct10=6.20  ✔️ Oct21=6.0✔️ Dec16=5.80 ✔️ 2020➡️ Jan 21=5.60 ✔️ April2=5.40 ✔️ May29=5.20 ✔️ Aug14= 5.0 ✔️Sep29=4.80✔️2021➡️ Jan31=4.60 mg✔️ April24=4.40mg✔️Jul17=4.30mg ✔️ Aug 28=4.20 ✔️ Oct 11=4.15✔️Nov1=4.10 ✔️ Nov21= 4.05✔️ Dec13= 4mg ✔️2022 ➡️ Jan8=3.95✔️ Jan31=3.90✔️ March2=3.85 ✔️ April4=3.80 ✔️ June16=3.75✔️ July26=3.70✔️ Sep2=3.65✔️ Oct21=3.60 ✔️ Dec8=3.55✔️2023➡️ Jan 26=3.50✔️ March 17=3.45✔️ June12=3.40✔️ July30=3.35✔️ Sep14=3.30✔️ Oct31=3.25✔️This is NOT medical advice.Consult your doctor.

Link to comment

Thank yoh, Carmie. 

 

Last night, I had tummy troubles that I usually have during my period.  I slept ok waking up twice, but I wasn't awake a long time.  I woke up this morning in a panic.  I have been anxious all day, and around noon I was so sleepy that I had to go home.  I fell asleep sitting up for a while..  When I woke up I couldn't sleep again.  My nervousness has continued through to now -- about 8:30 pm.  

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

Link to comment

Wow you are quite the survivor, looks like you have been going through the ringer for quite some time. Do you feel any better than when it first started? I am pulling for you!

April 2010 - January 2018: Zoloft 50-100 mgs (would go back and forth between these doses, mostly at 50mgs).

April - May 2018: Attempted to restart Zoloft for 6 weeks, made things worse so switched to...

June 2018 - Novemeber 2019: Lexapro 10mgs

August 2018 - Current: Zyprexa added for early morning extreme anxiety

November 2018 - February 2019: Lexapro 5mgs, then off since doctor said it “wasn’t working if still having anxiety.” Looking back I was probably stabilizing very slowly.

New Doctor reinstated:

May 1st, 2019 - Current - Zoloft 50mgs, 2.5mg Zyprexa 

 

 

Link to comment
On 8/25/2019 at 11:18 AM, Rosetta said:

try to focus on making my daughter feel loved and wanted -- if I can do that maybe the child I was will feel that way, too.

 

I did the same most of my life...taking care of others and pets and kids and home...I have come to understand that is quite common with trauma and abuse.

I am grateful that I did what I could for my kids along the way...I felt I could make it all better.  The reality is I could not.  They each have their own issues which is harder now as I feel I cannot help at all or minimally...but perhaps in some ways that is ok.  Ultimately we are adults now and have to figure out our lives...but that child within still has so many facets and issues...that is where my focus has to be now.

Your daughter is so blessed to have you Rosetta.  You have been through much in life and understand so much that will help her greatly along the way....and through her I believe you will perhaps find the healing of some of your own child within.  Love you so much dear friend!!  Hope the packing and all continues to go ok!!💜

-Nardil 1976 < year, stopped. React to AD's. Klonopin .5BID 1990, 2.5mg til 2016

-Klonopin doubled Jan '16. Taper to 2.25mg May to Nov '16. Bad react to Lexapro, stop. React to Prevacid too, taper off. 

-November '16 Tapered .25mg Klonopin in hospital. Jan '17 started Viibryd, 20mg from Feb to June '17,     

-20mg to 10mg Viibryd from 3/25 to 6/10 2017, 12/15 10% Viibryd taper...back up next day

-Clonazepam 2mg to 1.85mg 4/14 '17 to end November; taper to 1mg Clonazepam in hospital 9/1 tp 9/14 '17

-Feb '18 Amiloride .25mg  5/18 off Amiloride d/t react. Clonaz compounded  

-4/27 '18 Viibryd 9.5mg, 6/11 9.0 mg, 1/27 '19 Viibryd 8.75mg, ; Clonazepam .2mg 530pm and .7mg 1130pm, Premarin .3mg 830PM CARAFATE QID 2/27/19 to 3/5/19

-July 6'19 1/2 10mg Claritin 230pm, stopped it about July 18, started Oct 11 '19, 

-7/27 Viibryd 8.5, 8/29 8.25, 10/24 8.0, 12/19 7.75, Feb '20 7.50, 3/20 7.25, 5/20 7.0, 6/20 6.75, 7/20 6.5, 8/20 6.25, 10/2 20 6.0, 11/25'20 5.75, 1/9/21 5.5, 2/23 5.25

-1015 AM Viibryd, vit D 4,000IU 130, 415 Clonazepam .2mg, 815 Premarin .3mg, 1015 Clonaz .7mg,

  1115 3t fish oil+D 1145 Castor Oil 650mg(4) 1230 Carafate 1/2GM,Methylated B Vit  1/week,Reacted Mag prn

Link to comment

Thank you, Rabe.  You are so wise.

 

Journal:

 

This is 30 months (2 and 1\2 years) after a fast taper that might as well have been a CT.  I'm suffering emotionally, having nightly periods of insomnia, and dystonia like reactions to reading and typing on an iPad.  I have little motivation, and I'm fatigued.  My appetite is poor.  Food tastes better than it used to when I do eat.  I have a lot of trouble with my imagination.  I struggle to plan, to organize, to prepare for anything.  I have Windows of time when I can do such things.  My memory is poor.  I have cortisol wake ups and anxious mornings.  These are my main complaints.

 

Overall, everything is improving very slowly and with periods of regression (waves) that are very frustrating.  Symptoms I no longer have very often: POTS, hair falling out, DP, DR, SI, severe dystonia, headaches, crying, severe akathisia (and the attendant screaming that was so disturbing to me and my family), phantom smells, extreme sensitivity to light, and feeling very cold.

 

My period arrived yesterday for the first time in 3 months.  I have been feeling very sleepy in the after noon for several days in a row.  Muscle tension and headaches came back.  No headache this afternoon.  I'm confused, and I can't pack for my trip.  the good news is that I have been able to run errands and go for walks and eat reasonably well this week.  I have been anxious in the afternoons the last few days.  

 

I may not post here much for a while after Saturday the 31st.  I think it's going to be hard to get online for a few days after we fly.  I will be thinking of you all.

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

Link to comment

Hi Rosetta, I know you leave tomorrow!  Just wanted you to know that I am and will be thinking of you and your family so so much!!!  How long will you be gone?  I hope this will be a lovely journey in many ways.  Hoping the packing and all has come together and that you are pretty much ready to go.  Juset cant tell you how much my heart is with you on this!!  Take care my dear friend and enjoy!!!  Love and hugs to you dear Rosetta!!!💜

-Nardil 1976 < year, stopped. React to AD's. Klonopin .5BID 1990, 2.5mg til 2016

-Klonopin doubled Jan '16. Taper to 2.25mg May to Nov '16. Bad react to Lexapro, stop. React to Prevacid too, taper off. 

-November '16 Tapered .25mg Klonopin in hospital. Jan '17 started Viibryd, 20mg from Feb to June '17,     

-20mg to 10mg Viibryd from 3/25 to 6/10 2017, 12/15 10% Viibryd taper...back up next day

-Clonazepam 2mg to 1.85mg 4/14 '17 to end November; taper to 1mg Clonazepam in hospital 9/1 tp 9/14 '17

-Feb '18 Amiloride .25mg  5/18 off Amiloride d/t react. Clonaz compounded  

-4/27 '18 Viibryd 9.5mg, 6/11 9.0 mg, 1/27 '19 Viibryd 8.75mg, ; Clonazepam .2mg 530pm and .7mg 1130pm, Premarin .3mg 830PM CARAFATE QID 2/27/19 to 3/5/19

-July 6'19 1/2 10mg Claritin 230pm, stopped it about July 18, started Oct 11 '19, 

-7/27 Viibryd 8.5, 8/29 8.25, 10/24 8.0, 12/19 7.75, Feb '20 7.50, 3/20 7.25, 5/20 7.0, 6/20 6.75, 7/20 6.5, 8/20 6.25, 10/2 20 6.0, 11/25'20 5.75, 1/9/21 5.5, 2/23 5.25

-1015 AM Viibryd, vit D 4,000IU 130, 415 Clonazepam .2mg, 815 Premarin .3mg, 1015 Clonaz .7mg,

  1115 3t fish oil+D 1145 Castor Oil 650mg(4) 1230 Carafate 1/2GM,Methylated B Vit  1/week,Reacted Mag prn

Link to comment
  • Moderator

I hope you have a great trip.  Update us when you can, but take time to enjoy the trip and not worry about us.

20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013.

Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks.  The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better.

Final Dose 0.016mg.     Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017

 

"It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general."  Stephen Hawking

Link to comment
On 8/25/2019 at 12:18 PM, Rosetta said:

Right now I feel dizzy a lot.  Often I am well hydrated but feeling as if I am not and well fed but feeling as if my blood sugar is low.  I'm wondering if my vision is involved in those sensations.  I'm going to have to learn to ignore my visual input except when I look across the room unless I have my reading glasses on.  There is an in between point that can't be corrected.  I suppose people get used to this.  I'm not sure if it will get better as I heal from protracted WD or not.  I have a strong sense that dysautonomia (protracted WD) has affected the ability of my eyes to focus.  

 

Hello Rosetta,

 

I hope you have a wonderful to Spain. I am glad you are able to travel.

 

Does your dizziness last for long and does it prevent you from standing? I found that mine often does. It usually lasts for 2.5 hours in the morning.  It generally starts around 7.30 or 8 and mostly ends around 10.30.  Often at this time my vision is most blurry! Reading anything - particularly ont he computer - is close to impossible. My vision is often blurry b/c of my meds (general MD consensus) - but it is far worse now.

 

Enjoy your trip.

 

 

Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus

Hasta luego, dear friend.  

Gridley Introduction

 

Lexapro 20 mg since 2004.  Begin Brassmonkey Slide Taper Jan. 2017.   

End 2017 year 1 of taper at 9.25mg 

End 2018 year 2 of taper at 4.1mg

End 2019 year 3 of taper at 1.0mg  

Oct. 30, 2020  Jump to zero from 0.025mg.  Current dose: 0.000mg

3 year, 10 month taper is 100% complete.

 

Ativan 1 mg to 1.875mg 1986-2020, two CT's and reinstatements

Nov. 2020, 7-week Ativan-Valium crossover to 18.75mg Valium

Feb. 2021, begin 10%/4 week taper of 18.75mg Valium 

End 2021  year 1 of Valium taper at 6mg

End 2022 year 2 of Valium taper at 2.75mg 

End 2023 year 3 of Valium taper at 1mg

Jan. 24, 2024: Hold at 1mg and shift to Imipramine taper.

Taper is 95% complete.

 

Imipramine 75 mg daily since 1986.  Jan.-Sept. 2016 tapered to 14.4mg  

March 22, 2022: Begin 10%/4 week taper

Aug. 5, 2022: hold at 9.5mg and shift to Valium taper

Jan. 24, 2024: Resume Imipramine taper.  Current dose as of Feb. 22: 7.6mg

Taper is 90% complete.  

  

Supplements: multiple, quercetin, omega-3, vitamins C, E and D3, magnesium glycinate, probiotics, zinc, melatonin .3mg, anti-candida, iron, serrapeptase, nattokinase


I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs.

Link to comment

Hola de Espana!  This is an enormous challenge.  The jet lag alone is difficult.  We landed at 3 pm local time and stayed awake until 11 pm, but that didn't save me from waking up at 1 am and staying awake until 5 am.  That is what happens to me on a bad night at home.  Fortunately, my worries were not intense at that time.  So, overall, insomnia wasn't a problem.  I crashed again after lunch and slept from about 3-6 pm.  It's 9 pm now.  I have not had cortisol spikes yet.  So, that's a major plus.  Two nights with no spikes is wonderful even if one was spent on a plane with only 4 hours of broken sleep!  I had hoped for this effect from the jet lag, and it's happened.  I hope it lasts a while. 

 

There are a lot of annoying, inconvenient things about being here.  I'm trying to roll with it.  My daughter won't eat anything in the restaurants but bread.  I have not found fresh milk yet, and we have no toaster.  Etc, etc.  I have no dryer and no clothes pins.  Minor problems on top of minor problems.  I have to breathe and remind myself that I'm healed enough to handle this.  It is truly AMAZING that I have not had a major meltdown over this trip.  Some bumps, I've raised my voice, I've been extremely frustrated a few times, but I've had no crying spells or breakdowns!!! Shocking.

 

@Rabe Thank you, dear.  We will be here 4 months.  Thank you for caring.

 

@brassmonkey @Gridley Thank you!!  I'm going to try to focus on life instead The brain injury!

 

The elevator is the width of an inquisition torture cage, literally!  It's 2 feet by 2.5 feet, and I'm not kidding in the least.  Well, at least we can stand up, but I think if we were all trapped in there for any length of time . . . I shudder to think.  Only two adults fit and if there were three they had better all three be married to each other!!  Haha.  The counter weights are right outside my kitchen window.  It will be fun show my daughter how counter weights operate.

 

@Guilietta more later -- my battery is dead. Sorry.

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

Link to comment
56 minutes ago, Rosetta said:

It will be fun show my daughter how counter weights operate.

 

Maybe you can tell us what they are and how they operate too 😁 I have never heard of them.

 

What an adventure it sounds like and you are taking the difficulties in stride. I remind myself to stop and take deep breaths when things get overwhelming.

 

Look forward to getting an update from your time in Spain! How nice you can visit.

 

Guilietta

Link to comment

I am so impressed with how you are dealing with all of this change and for even having the courage to go to Spain in the first place.....you are amazing, Rosetta!

-1/06 - 3/07 Cymbalta. Fast taper (essentially CT); withdrawal symptoms after 4 mos (didn't realize was WD)

-10/07: 100 mg Zoloft; 1 mg Klonopin - tapered off Klonopin after 4 mos. Several unsuccessful slow tapers of Zoloft; went up and down in dose a lot

-Spring 2013 back on 1 mg Klonopin to counter WD symptoms; switched over 5-6 mos from Zoloft to 35 mg citalopram
-Two attempts at slow tapering citalopram, always increased dose due to WD; also increased Klonopin to 1.25 mg in 2014, then to 1.5 mg in 2015

-8/17-9/17: After holding one year at 20 mg, feeling withdrawal symptoms due to stress - slowly increased to 25 mg. No change in symptoms after 6 months (? tolerance ?)  - decided to start citalopram taper February 2018 (still on Klonopin 1.5 mg).

Supplements: fish oil; magnesium; vitamin D3; curcumin

Citalopram taper:  2/2018 - 12/2019: 25 mg - 11.03 mg I 2020: 10.89 mg - 7.9 mg I 2021: 7.8 mg - 5.26 mg I 2022: 5.2 mg - 3.36 mg I 2023: 3.3 mg - 1.47 mg 2024: 1/5/24: 1.44 mg; 1/19/24: 1.40 mg; 1/26/24: 1.37 mg; 2/2/24: 1.34 mg; 2/9/24: 1.31 mg; 2/23/24: 1.28 mg; 3/1/24: 1.25 mg; 3/8/24: 1.22 mg; 3/15/24: 1.19 mg

 

 

Link to comment
  • 2 weeks later...

Hi Rosetta,

I am SO happy to hear the joy in your voice!  I dont think I have ever read a 'haha' from you until now!  SOOOO grateful to hear you have been able to go with the flow.  I truly felt this could happen for you ... leaving the past here and going through the looking glass a bit.  I am SO happy for and proud of you!!  Such a huge step and 4 MONTHS!!! WOW!  I missed that somewhere along the way.

Hmmm....your daughter eats only the bread.  Got any PB and J over there?  I hope things continue to flow well.  Please keep us posted when you can!  Have fun, take lots of pics and videos.  Love and hugs to you dear friend!!💜

-Nardil 1976 < year, stopped. React to AD's. Klonopin .5BID 1990, 2.5mg til 2016

-Klonopin doubled Jan '16. Taper to 2.25mg May to Nov '16. Bad react to Lexapro, stop. React to Prevacid too, taper off. 

-November '16 Tapered .25mg Klonopin in hospital. Jan '17 started Viibryd, 20mg from Feb to June '17,     

-20mg to 10mg Viibryd from 3/25 to 6/10 2017, 12/15 10% Viibryd taper...back up next day

-Clonazepam 2mg to 1.85mg 4/14 '17 to end November; taper to 1mg Clonazepam in hospital 9/1 tp 9/14 '17

-Feb '18 Amiloride .25mg  5/18 off Amiloride d/t react. Clonaz compounded  

-4/27 '18 Viibryd 9.5mg, 6/11 9.0 mg, 1/27 '19 Viibryd 8.75mg, ; Clonazepam .2mg 530pm and .7mg 1130pm, Premarin .3mg 830PM CARAFATE QID 2/27/19 to 3/5/19

-July 6'19 1/2 10mg Claritin 230pm, stopped it about July 18, started Oct 11 '19, 

-7/27 Viibryd 8.5, 8/29 8.25, 10/24 8.0, 12/19 7.75, Feb '20 7.50, 3/20 7.25, 5/20 7.0, 6/20 6.75, 7/20 6.5, 8/20 6.25, 10/2 20 6.0, 11/25'20 5.75, 1/9/21 5.5, 2/23 5.25

-1015 AM Viibryd, vit D 4,000IU 130, 415 Clonazepam .2mg, 815 Premarin .3mg, 1015 Clonaz .7mg,

  1115 3t fish oil+D 1145 Castor Oil 650mg(4) 1230 Carafate 1/2GM,Methylated B Vit  1/week,Reacted Mag prn

Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi Rosetta, 

 

Just wanted to let you know I’m thinking of you, sending you big hugs🤗🤗

Been on APs, benzos, ADs and opiates, for chronic pain. Had Akathisia in the past that made me suicidal. Still on Seroquel. 2019:➡️ March10=7.25mg ✔️ April17=7.0✔️ June5=6.75✔️ July14=6.50✔️ Aug28=6.25✔️ Oct10=6.20  ✔️ Oct21=6.0✔️ Dec16=5.80 ✔️ 2020➡️ Jan 21=5.60 ✔️ April2=5.40 ✔️ May29=5.20 ✔️ Aug14= 5.0 ✔️Sep29=4.80✔️2021➡️ Jan31=4.60 mg✔️ April24=4.40mg✔️Jul17=4.30mg ✔️ Aug 28=4.20 ✔️ Oct 11=4.15✔️Nov1=4.10 ✔️ Nov21= 4.05✔️ Dec13= 4mg ✔️2022 ➡️ Jan8=3.95✔️ Jan31=3.90✔️ March2=3.85 ✔️ April4=3.80 ✔️ June16=3.75✔️ July26=3.70✔️ Sep2=3.65✔️ Oct21=3.60 ✔️ Dec8=3.55✔️2023➡️ Jan 26=3.50✔️ March 17=3.45✔️ June12=3.40✔️ July30=3.35✔️ Sep14=3.30✔️ Oct31=3.25✔️This is NOT medical advice.Consult your doctor.

Link to comment

I'm doing better than this time last week.  It's been quite difficult to adjust.  My body did not want to accept the time change.  I think that it was about 10 days before I started to fall asleep at a proper time.

 

I am now back to falling asleep at about 8:30 or 9 and waking in the night feeling very worried and staying awake for a while.  Sometimes it's too long.  The good news is that my mind is wandering off and thinking about things that are NOT worrisome or scary at times!!!  This is new.  In the past, being awake in the night was always a negative or very negative experience.  I'm still waking up with a degree of fear, but the fear wears off before I fall asleep again. 

 

I spent a fair amount of time worrying night before last because our cat at home has not been willing to let our housesitter feed her.  If she doesn't eat her food quickly the neighbor's cat will eat it.  So, we need her to trust our housesitter.   I'm not sure what the solution might be.  Still thinking about it.

 

The first week was very, very hard.  My daughter was up until 1:00 am Tuesday night and 3:00 am Wednesday night with her first day of school on Thursday.  She could not go to school until lunch time.  There was too much risk she would have a meltdown and be living that down for a month. 

 

I was calm Tuesday night.  She was so homesick and nervous about a new school.  She didn't sleep until 1:00 am, and I didn't sleep until about 6:00 am.  She had 12 hours of sleep.  I slept very late and had about 5-6 hours until about noon or 1:00 pm. Then, I slept more Wednesday afternoon.  My daughter didn't.  We had made a trip to the visit the school (before classes started Thursday) which took about 4 hours.  My daughter barely ate all day.   Wednesday night, I was a wreck over lost sleep and her distress.  She had had little physical activity since Sunday because we were so jet lagged.  She was grumpy and wired.  I fell asleep early Wednesday night while my husband stayed up with my daughter.  Nevertheless, she woke me up over and over.  That causes such severe agitation for me.  At about 1:00 am I fed her eggs.  She finally passed out at 3:00 am.  We woke up at about 8:30 am on Thursday and decided that my daughter simply had to have more sleep for the first day of school. So, we took her to school for only the last half of the day.  That worked out well.

 

There is no benadryl in Spain.  None.  Not even for adults!  I'm not sure what people do for allergies, but it seems to be safe for one night of sleep.  Not an option here.  I don't feel comfortable taking anything else.

 

Living in such close proximity to other people is stressful.  We don't live in a city at home.  It's so noisy at night.  I am awakened by people washing dishes at 11:00 pm or midnight.  

 

My daughter's first day at school went well.  She fell asleep at about 8:30.  Thank goodness.  However, I was up from about 2:00 am to 6:00 am that night.  I slept from about 9 pm to 2 am.  Five hours.  My mood was very bad on Friday, of course.

 

On Sunday, we went to a friend's mother's house.  My daughter had 3 kids to play with in the garden.  Everyone was out of sorts because 2 of the kids had been in Mexico for the last week.  They were adjusting to the time, too!  Overall, it was ok, but bumpy.

 

On Monday, I started school.  I am there from 1:00 pm to 5:00, and most of the restaurants are closed until 8:00 pm.  So, I'm trying to find all the food I need and feed us at 6:00 pm in a kitchen that isn't very well appointed.  It's has been frustrating.

 

Ultimately, I'm shocked at how well I'm dealing with all of this.  I'm hoping that my next period doesn't throw me for a loop, but I have had only 1 crying spell since we arrived.  I had some excessive anger during the time I was getting too little sleep, and crying happened at the tail end of that phase.  I have been able to walk, and shop, and prepare simple food, and keep the laundry done.  I believe that part of my success is because I'm away from all the clutter.  My brain can focus and process better here.

 

@wantrelief @Gridley @Rabe @Carmie @Guilietta @brassmonkey  Thanks for stopping by!

 

Last weekend my body started to adjust to the time change, but on Wednesday of this second week here I was still struggling, and I took my daughter to school late that morning.  Her teacher said she had a better day that day.  She's been homesick.

 

We have to be up at 7:30 on school days.  I'm walking almost every day.

 

 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

Link to comment

Hello Rosetta,

 

Thank you for the long post so we know how you are doing. I am so impressed that you are going through the taper and all that it involves - in a foreign land. Give yourself a big pat on the bag. How would you treat your best friend - or someone you cherished - when they were coping with this situation. When I become overwhelmed with things - if I can remember or am reminded - I ask myself this and it remindes me that I am being hard on myself and should love myself more. :)

 

I have a few comments- which I have responded to according to yours - and sorry about any redundancies.

 

On 9/14/2019 at 7:42 AM, Rosetta said:

I'm doing better than this time last week.  It's been quite difficult to adjust.  My body did not want to accept the time change.  I think that it was about 10 days before I started to fall asleep at a proper time.

 

I am now back to falling asleep at about 8:30 or 9 and waking in the night feeling very worried and staying awake for a while. 

 

It has taken me 10-12 days to adjust when traveling to Germany (another hour away I think?) - so I have to push myself to adjust. I compensated by taking an hour long nap in the early afternoon. Esp. important during the sensitzed nervous system I find.

 

Awaking feeling worries -yes - you and I are not alone - whether we are tapering or not. I find the high level of anxiety to be more troublesome. Try to think positive thoughts only 2-3 hours before bedtime - and maybe keep a worry book during the day - so you can say ' well, worry about x ' - you're here and when I can address you - I'll know where to find you.' This has helped me take something off my mind.

 

Another thing which I am learning through CBT - and that a friend has told me - is that I 'catastophrize' things. This is true - and is one of those cognitive distortions. There are so many things we cannot control - and learning not to is really hard.  One of these days I would like to share/post (maybe create a thread?) some of things I am learning about CBT. Not sure how to do this and the time - since writing is an ordeal for me and I am slow at it!

 

On 9/14/2019 at 7:42 AM, Rosetta said:

Living in such close proximity to other people is stressful.  We don't live in a city at home.  It's so noisy at night.  I am awakened by people washing dishes at 11:00 pm or midnight.  

 

Eke. Have you tried ear plugs or cotton balls? Or white noise that you like? I find this link (free) can be nice when I cannot quiet my mind:  Sometimes I use ear plugs and listen to relaxing classical music at low volume or guided meditation. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xQ6xgDI7Whc

 

https://www.calmsound.com/

 

I'm envious of you traveling abroad. I don't think I'm stable enough to travel to Europe this October for a group trip I wanted to join. I'd be to be dizzy for 3 hours in the morning -

 

Have a great day. And with your walking, etc. - good job!

 

Guilietta

Link to comment

@Heal95 @thelegend Thanks for stopping by.  Rough timing for me, but I will check your threads eventually.

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

Link to comment

@Rosetta there is no need to apologise at all! There are many people who comment on your thread. Don’t feel rushed to comment on everyone’s thread. The best thing we read from you is that you’re feeling better. I know too well that replying to a lot of things can be very trying at the best of times, especially with a compromised nervous system! Washing dishes sometimes sends me over the edge. 

 

I’m in complete awe that you managed undertake a move overseas. Kudos to you. You are very strong. I hope your daughter settles in and you and your family are able to enjoy to your fullest capacity. Enjoy your time in Spain. 

 

Lots of love and lots of healing your way

Heal95 

Put on sertraline in January 2016 50 mg. 100mg Feb 16-May18 

may 18 50 mg some withdrawals 

august 18 rapid taper off. September 22 put on 50 mg due to withdrawals 

 2 weeks later up to 100mg. Bad reaction 

on 100 for 4 weeks. Then 50 for two weeks 25 for two weeks and 25 every other day for a week 

off since 8 December having waves and windows 

Link to comment
52 minutes ago, Heal95 said:

there is no need to apologise at all! There are many people who comment on your thread. Don’t feel rushed to comment on everyone’s thread. The best thing we read from you is that you’re feeling better.

 

Well said Heal95! Whenever you or another can post an update - whether things are up are down - we like to know! No rush to respond to us. I don't like to leave someone waiting for a reply either - but it is stressful when there are other things going on and I am thinking about checking in.

56 minutes ago, Heal95 said:

Washing dishes sometimes sends me over the edge. 

 

I know that all too well. Last night I could get dirty plates in the dishwasher  - but had to postpone the pans. 😉

 

Hugs,

 

Guilietta

Link to comment

Hello, everyone.  I'm in a wave with akathisia that is not too bad.  No SI for example.  My teeth hurt, my arms are tight, elbows ache, cheeks, neck, shoulders ache and are tight. I am wound up tight.  I have had several nights of waking up in a panic and a few day mares while I am up in the night awake -- imagining a terrible occurrence and having it feel real.   Yesterday, I had cramps and diarrhea.  

 

It was a hard day.  We tried to go to a palace that is about 45 minutes by train outside the city.  Getting on the train was quite difficult.  It was very hard to figure out which train to take.  Finally, we found it.  It was a nice ride out.  We saw a preserve with many deer in it and even a boar.  It rained.  So, we only ate lunch out there and went home.  My husband was in a terrible mood, and I inhaled a tiny piece of meat into my trachea at lunch.  That was an ordeal.  I have had that happen before when I thought I would die, but this time it was just very hard to get the piece out.  I'm still not sure which way it went.  By the end of lunch we decided the trip to the palace was out of the question.  The good news is that several months ago that experience would have resulted in a horrendous panic attack, but it did not!!  My brain is able to differentiate between life threatening and non- life threatening occurrences .  The physical response is not fight or flight.  I kept my cool even when I initially started to panic, and I coughed for what seemed like for ever until I finally got the piece out.  I didn't feel a surreal, bizarre feeling of derealization after the threat passed either.  It was all very different than it has been for many, many years when my body has reacted to a threat -- real or imagined.  I attribute this to the fact that my brain is not sending out the wrong signals and my body is not producing the same amount of adrenaline at these times.  The hormones that calm me down are there to let my brain operate with more logical, rational thought.  I can't remember the word for that hormone.  I am still having a lot of trouble with recall and learning.

 

I am tired.  Living here is very hard.  I feel I am just existing, but I know I am not.  Having this class to go to 5 days a week is very good for me.  I am struggling with all the different foods, having no clothes dryer, being unable to do anything by myself, and feeling the hostility of the locals here.  Many of them are not just unfriendly but even ugly when we are trying to buy something.  There are some very nice people, too.  It makes me realize how hard it is for people who immigrate to my country.  I knew it was hard, but it was abstract to me.  This is exhausting.  I keep trying to figure out what I can do without to avoid the confrontation.  I know I am going home.  I can't imagine how depressing this would be if I knew I was trapped here.

 

We have had some nice experiences, too   Very kind shopkeepers who want to help and who smile.  People who comment on how cute my daughter is, etc.  I suppose it's harder to remember those times.  

 

I know I am very lucky to be healing.  To not feel under siege at all times is wonderful even when my whole jaw is aching.

 

 

I have been able to go to my daughter's school every morning for over two weeks, and I have made it to class every day for two weeks.  As bad as I feel sometimes, I know that I'm doing ok if I can get up, get out and do these things every day.  

 

I will be so happy when my hormones don't interact with prolonged withdrawal syndrome any longer!!!

 

I think I have had one wave of anxiety since we have been here, and now this wave of muscle tension.  I think the first wave was probably during ovulation and this one is during menses although I am not having a real period this time. Not yet.  The last time I had anything like it was at the end of August.

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

Link to comment

Dear Rosetta,

 

Thank you for keeping us in the loops. I am sorry that yesterday was a tough day. Being around people with bad moods adds to the stress and anxiety of so many unknowns (which train to take, etc. ,etc.) - on top of the usual stressors during the week. You did really well though - as you mentioned - you may have had a panic attack months ago and yesterday - you didn't. Look what you ahve learned in the past few months.

 

And on the positive side - you learned what trains to take, etc. the next time to travel to the palace. I don't know how much of a planner you are for expeditions (this could be an expedition for me!) - but I find that planning (as best as I can and withiout going overboard) minimizes anxiety. It helps to visualize this. Another concept is that I should do things with the expectation to learn (so I've been advised in CBT counseling). This way - when things are disappointing - it is not a real downer.

 

You are doing so well. You've stepped into a different culture - everything from food, to laundry, to schooling your daughter, my gosh, what accomplishments!

 

To help me remember all the positives - it helps me write them down in my gratitude book at the end of the day. To be honest, I don't always do this for one reason or another - but I do make a mental note during the day. Writing things down lets you look when  you need a reminder.

 

What a great experience. What personal growth.

 

Guilietta

Link to comment
  • Mentor
On 9/22/2019 at 2:44 AM, Rosetta said:

I will be so happy when my hormones don't interact with prolonged withdrawal syndrome any longer!!!

 

I think I have had one wave of anxiety since we have been here, and now this wave of muscle tension.  I think the first wave was probably during ovulation and this one is during menses although I am not having a real period this time. Not yet.  The last time I had anything like it was at the end of August.

Hi @Rosetta agree with you 101% on hormones no longer exacberating WD. I had a light period last month then two weeks later a regular one. So strange this change.

 

Interesting your observations about immigration and living in another country. I am traveling to Germany/Poland (with my newfound fio-father) in November and *crave* being in a foreign land. I too am having anxiety and just took an Epsom salt bath and powdered magnesium. Haven't done that in at least a couple months. Anyways, enjoyed your post, thanks.

  • Prozac | late 2004-mid-2005 | CT WD in a couple months, mostly emotional
  • Sertraline 50-100mg | 11/2011-3/2014, 10/2014-3/2017
  • Sertraline fast taper March 2017, 4 weeks, OFF sertraline April 1, 2017
  • Quit alcohol May 20, 2017
  • Lifestyle changes: AA, kundalini yoga

 

"If you've seen a monster, even if it's horrible, that's evidence of divinity." – Damien Echols

 

Link to comment

I'm just coming out of a long wave.  It was about 2 weeks long.  I'm not sure it's over yet.  I had a real period.  It started about one week ago -- sort of -- but I think the wave was a part of it.  So, two weeks of feeling bad.  I stopped going everyday to my daughter's school last week.  It was too much.  I took her on Monday, and one other day my husband went with me.  

 

I did make it to my class every day.  I had about two nights with bad insomnia, several nights of waking in a panic and then having a deep depression set in.  I had SI a few times.  I had akathisia.  My hormones are still too much for my nervous system to handle.

 

I'm taking a week off school.  I will have three mini lessons this week.  It is very hard to eat here.  I have lost weight despite being in a wave.  I thought I usually gained weight in a wave.  When I have school from 1-5 pm, I can't have full meals.  The restaurants open at 1:00 for lunch and close from about 4-8 pm.  My kitchen isn't useful for me to cook much.  There is an oven, but nothing that can go in it.  We move to a different place in 3 weeks.  Hopefully, it will be better.  Not that I'm very good at cooking.  I had always hoped to be, but it's very hard in a wave.  My muscles do not work well.  I burn myself, drop things, make mistakes.  I usually burn the food.  I can't focus or keep track of what I'm doing.

 

I'm very tired.  It has been almost 2 years 8 months since I quit Zoloft.  There has been a lot of healing.  That is very clear.  I know I will get over this, but I'm so tired.  Of course, prolonged withdrawal has been going on a long, long time.  It started getting bad in 2004, I think.  I had been on Celexa for about 3-4 years by then.  

 

The good news is that meltdowns are few and far between now.  They are much more mild.  I felt one on Tuesday, Oct 1st.  I spilled something on the couch.  My daughter had just left for school and I sat down with my decaf to get through the morning with mild akathisia.  I had to get up and clean the cushion cover, and cried and cried.  Trying to just get through the day is so hard sometimes.  The thought of trying to do anything extra is overwhelming.  I try to remember that some people have much more serious illnesses and I am lucky.  I'm going to get well.

 

 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

Link to comment

Dear Rosetta,

 

I have been thinking of you and wondering how you are doing in Spain.  I printed your post to me and have it on my desk.

 

I am sorry you are tired and the past few days have been so difficult if I understand your post. There is a lot there to comprehend and more than my short term memory can handle. ;)  Nice you are getting a new place to live in 3 weeks perhaps with a better oven! 

 

On 10/6/2019 at 4:51 AM, Rosetta said:

The thought of trying to do anything extra is overwhelming.  I try to remember that some people have much more serious illnesses and I am lucky.  I'm going to get well.

 

I feel the same way about other people having things worse than I do - and that I will get better. You have come a very long way - and remembered it in great detail.

 

The undone things and paperwork staring me in the face is overwhelming and I don't know where to begin. Do you ever feel like that? What helps you? I try to make a running list (so I have a mind-dump and don't worry about forgetting anything)  - and try to get 1 goal a day completed.  It doesn't always work out but I try :)

 

I am still pooping along on my liquid. What I have in my blood (3 hours post-dosing) is 'undetectable' - anywhere from 0 to 5 ng/mL... 🤭

 

Thinking of you and hope your weather is fine. Getting cold here and some nice foliage this year.

 

Giuilietta 🤗

 

 

 

 

Link to comment

Two Years, Eight Months since rapid taper!!!

 

Still feeling crummy.  Not in pain.  I am awakened 2-3 times a night in a panic and a deep depression after the panic wears off.  Bad morning wake ups.  They are not as bad as a year ago.  There is no electric shock to my heart.  The fear wears off quickly.  Then I feel depleted, and I want to stay home.  I wish I could take naps, but I'm too alert in the day yet I feel so tired.  

 

I went to pick my daughter up from school by myself today.  By about 11:00 am I am functional, and that is a vast improvement over a year ago.  The dystonia continues to get better.  Sometimes I forget I ever had it.  Other times it's very annoying, but rarely painful.  I long for the day I sleep through the night.  At least I continue to improve as to all symptoms.  

 

It's been two years, 8 months since the last zoloft, trazodone, xanax.  Crazy how long this takes, but I'm happy to be so far out and seeing continuing improvement.  I am still amazed that I survived -- truly amazed.

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

Link to comment

Hello Rosetta,

 

Sorry about your sleep troubles, awakening in panic, tough mornings and not being able to take naps during the day.

 

3 hours ago, Rosetta said:

I am awakened 2-3 times a night in a panic

 

This is terrible! I am so sorry!  How many nights does this happen? I may wake up with tremors - but (knock on wood) it as become less of an issue.

 

One thing I have found that helps me to relax or fall asleep when I am so restless, anxious, uncomfortable,  hyperalert, etc. is to get under my weighted blanket. It helps tremendously. @Carmie mentioned having one too and how much she loves it. Do you have one? 

 

Getting off the 3 drugs is an accomplishment. It was a very hard thing to do. ;)

 

Hugs to you,

 

Giuilietta

 

 

Link to comment

Hello Rosetta

 

Thank you for your kind and supportive message on my thread.

 

I hope you are doing ok - I just haven't had the oomph to keep up with people.

 

Things are getting tougher but I am keeping in mind that they can get better and ultimately healing will happen.  Just getting through the now is enough of a challenge.

 

much love

 

Neroli 💜

2006 Citalopram 20mg on and off to 2013.  April 2013 - July 2014  Sertraline, Venlafaxine, Fluoxetine, Mirtazapine v. bad reactions. July 2014 - CT Mirtazapine.  July 2014 - February 2016 Medication free, long term w/d.  February - July 2016 Fluoxetine.  Medication free, long term w/d syndrome.  2017 Jan physical breakdown.

2017 February - March Escitalopram, Nortriptyline instated.  Lorazepam, Zopiclone PRN.  April 2017 Lithium Carbonate 250mg 1 wk. 14 August 2017 finish cross to Diazepam 22.5mg daily, stop Zopiclone

Tapers:

Diazepam 

2017 21 August - 30 Dec 21.25mg to 14.5mg 2018 6 Jan - 11 May to 12mg.  2 June updose to 12.25mg - hold. 2019 (0.5mg cuts) 12 Jan - 28 Dec 12mg to 10mg 2020 (0.25mg cuts) - 25 Jan - 29 Dec 9.75mg to 6.25mg 2021 *May have bungled dose and accidentally took 1mg more for about a month (7.25mg), so 4 Jan started again at 6.5mg; 19 Jan 6.25mg; 1 Feb 6.0mg; 23 Feb 5.75mg; 9 Mar 5.5mg; 23 Mar 5.25mg; 9 Apr 5.0mg; 6 May 4.75mg; 13 May 4.5mg; 6 Jun 4mg; 12 July 3.5mg; 2 sep 3.0mg; 15 Sep 2.5mg; 1 Nov 2mg; 15 Nov 1.5mg; 16 Dec 1mg; 26 Dec 0.5mg; 2022 1 Jan - OFF

Escitalopram - 2022 1 Mar to 9mg; 29 Mar 8mg; 24 May 7mg; 21 Jun 5mg; 19 Jul 4mg; 1 Sep 3mg; 23 Sep 2.5mg; 31 Oct 1.5mg; 22 Nov 0.5mg; 2023 1 Jan 0.25mg; 1 Mar OFF

Nortriptyline  2018 90mg to 2020 1 Dec down to 72.5mg; 2021 20 May 70mg; 8 Jun 67.5mg; 24 Jun 65mg; 31 July 60mg; 12 Oct 55mg; 23 Oct 50mg; 2022 13 Jan 40mg; 22 Jan 30mg; 29 Mar 20mg; 26 Apr 10mg; 3 Aug 5mg; 23 Sep 2.5mg; 2023 1 Jan - OFF

 

1 March 2023 - off all drugs - 6-year taper off three drugs.

 

Link to comment
  • Mentor
On 10/11/2019 at 12:56 PM, Rosetta said:

It's been two years, 8 months since the last zoloft, trazodone, xanax.  Crazy how long this takes, but I'm happy to be so far out and seeing continuing improvement.  I am still amazed that I survived -- truly amazed.

Right behind you! Of course, "only" Zoloft (still hating Pfizer hard) but we are so much better than last year. I am so happy that you are marking the changes even if not there yet.

  • Prozac | late 2004-mid-2005 | CT WD in a couple months, mostly emotional
  • Sertraline 50-100mg | 11/2011-3/2014, 10/2014-3/2017
  • Sertraline fast taper March 2017, 4 weeks, OFF sertraline April 1, 2017
  • Quit alcohol May 20, 2017
  • Lifestyle changes: AA, kundalini yoga

 

"If you've seen a monster, even if it's horrible, that's evidence of divinity." – Damien Echols

 

Link to comment

Yes, FGW, we are still here!!!!!  @FarmGirlWorks Neroli, thank you for expending the energy to stop by. @neroli  @Guilietta Thanks.  Sometimes the hard nights let up.  Right now, I'm still having hard nights, but, in general, the days are much, much better than they used to be.  I feel like I'm in a horror film at night sometimes, and when I wake up in the morning sometimes, too.  Once the morning anxiety wears off I'm quite functional.  If I have several nights in row like that it's really hard.  I don't know of any way to change it.  

 

I am still suffering far too much from this iatrogenic injury.  I still have akathisia at times.  The hormonal fluctuations seem to make this syndrome so much more difficult.  I feel very strongly that ovulation and menstruation are my worst of the month.  Ovulation is easier. Lately, I have been waking up with hot flashes in the night, and afterward I am freezing cold for a while.  I don't have chills.  I'm just very cold. 

 

I feel quite depressed in the night, and I sometimes feel SI.  The hardest part of this phase is waking up afraid and desperately sad.Usually'm at that time, I'm thinking about my cat.  We left her with a housesitter.  She seems to have disappeared on day one.  She never appears on the security camera.  I feel so awful about her.  I feel that she may have felt abandoned.  Something eats her food every day.  I'm still holding out hope, but it makes no sense that she is never on the camera because that spot is where she used to sit in the sun.  The degree of grief I feel in the night when I wake up is very intense.  I think I'm attaching it to the cat's disappearance because it's so strong.  I think I would attach it to something else if she hadn't disappeared.

 

Despite it all I'm very grateful that my days are more or less normal.  Once in a while I feel pretty bad in the day, but it goes away.  Knowing it will go away is a comfort.  That gets me through.  In the past I didn't have that knowledge.  I felt it would never end.  I still feel depressed that it will come back, but I try to put that out of my mind.  Akathisi is the hardest thing I have to endure in the day, but it's mild compared to before.  I

 

It's very rare that I have tinnitus, cry uncontrollably, feel SI, yell, etc.  My hair still falls out, but less is falling out than before.  Sometimes I'm very hungry, but that's rare.  It's more common that I have no appetite, but even that is fading.  Dystonia is rare, but muscle tension still happens on my right side in my neck and in my leg mostly.  It's very rare that I have numbness or pins and needles.  I used to have that on my nose and all across my face, ear, eye, neck, chest and even down my arm and my fingers.  Now it's more localized around the neck and ear.

 

It gets better for sure.  Better and better.  

 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

Link to comment

Please sign in to comment

You will be able to leave a comment after signing in



Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

Terms of Use Privacy Policy