ryan1982: my journey

[Altostrata]

Please let us know how you're doing.

[ryan1982]

Thanks, @Altostrata. I've officially hit 9 pages!

 

Doing OK. Strange this is that I'm not anxious when I'm on calls for work, stationary in my office. However, when I leave to drive somewhere or just slightly move around or take a walk, it's like all my senses can't handle the stimulation. It's the craziest thing and super uncomfortable. I'm not socially anxious at all really but I hate the way my body feels like everything's in overdrive.

[ryan1982]

Hey @Altostrata-

A couple questions for you...should I expect that my wave will just end immediately or rather, will symptoms just kind of fade to the background? What's more common?

 

I know healing is tough to predict but my waves have typically lasted between 4- 8 weeks in the past. Should I expect something similar?

 

Also, and lastly, curious about your wisdom here- is it worth taking time off to help with healing for a couple weeks or conversely, is work good for the soul and keeping me busy?

 

Thank you so very much! I'm in a dark spot at the moment and need some hope that this won't kill my entire year.

[Altostrata]

Are you talking about the wave that was caused by LDN?

 

On 5/10/2021 at 11:56 AM, Altostrata said:

I'm sorry, @ryan1982, you'll have to let your system settle from the naltrexone upset. It's very unlikely a covid-19 shot caused your problems. 

 

Be patient, you'll likely feel better in a few weeks. 

....

 

If you feel okay at work, I would keep it up. Suggest you find a way to diminish the anxiety while driving. Do you drive for work? Are you light-sensitive?

21 hours ago, ryan1982 said:

Thanks, @Altostrata. I've officially hit 9 pages!

 

Doing OK. Strange this is that I'm not anxious when I'm on calls for work, stationary in my office. However, when I leave to drive somewhere or just slightly move around or take a walk, it's like all my senses can't handle the stimulation. It's the craziest thing and super uncomfortable. I'm not socially anxious at all really but I hate the way my body feels like everything's in overdrive.

 

[ryan1982]

Thanks, @Altostrata. Yes ma’am, the wave that was caused by LDN. Any thoughts on that? I know I’m preaching to the choir but I just want this to end. Desperately. 
 

I agree about keeping up work. As hard as it is to work sometimes, having my mind busy has been extremely helpful. I’m afraid if I took time off, I’d just ruminate. 

[ryan1982]

Apologies, forgot to answer. I’m typically driving to haul my kids to games and practices around town. I don’t drive for work and have to run a few errands here and there. 

[Nomansland]

Hello @ryan1982,

 

may i ask what LDN is supposed to do? Because when wikipedia says thinks like this:

 

"claims about its efficacy in treating a wide range of diseases", i get suspicious, in a bad way.

 

Wish you all the best.

 

Greetings

 

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[ryan1982]

Ha, I totally agree with your skepticism, @Nomansland. It was prescribed by a doctor for nerve pain but actually is used most commonly at higher doses for alcohol dependence. 

[Altostrata]

Your nervous system will gradually settle down from the upset from LDN. This may take some weeks.

 

It seems you're sensitive to the pressure of ferrying your kids around. You might look into stress reduction techniques so this isn't so hard on you.

[ryan1982]

Thanks so much, @Altostrata. As always, I appreciate the help!

[ryan1982]

Hey @Altostrata and @brassmonkey. Just a quick update. As of last Sunday, 5/16, my symptoms have had a noticeable shift. My gut is starting to feel better (still have a ways to go) and my symptoms are more based in the head, a feeling of pressure, mostly. Definitely easier to drive, which is amazing, and the anxiety I feel is more in my throat than anything. My legs are still incredibly weak and get fatigued. I'm making sense at work and not getting as stressed about presenting and speaking in meetings, so that's good. I think acupuncture may be helping. Sensory overload is better, noises and lights don't bother me as much. Anxiety isn't wonderful and has burned out quicker with other waves in the past, so that's a bummer. 

 

My last wave was caused by a rather large (I know, I know) dose of Trileptal and it took about 10 weeks to completely burn out. I'm on week 6 with this wave and I'm hoping I really start to turn the corner in the next month. The pattern between this wave and my last haven't been exactly the same.

 

Is it a good sign that my symptoms have shifted? Is having this all finished and out of my system within 10 weeks a feasible goal?

 

Thank y'all!

[Altostrata]

Yes, it seems your nervous system is settling down. Please include Trileptal trial in your signature, as well as LDN. You might avoid further drug experiments.

[ryan1982]

Thanks, @Altostrata. Signature is update and absolutely, no drug experiments!

[ryan1982]

Hey @Altostrataand @brassmonkey-

It's been about a week since I updated my story here. I think the anxiety is starting to really burn off- such a relief. Haven't had a cortisol jolt in the AM in about a week. So thankful.

 

For around 7 days, my head was feeling really weird and painful sensation on top of my skull and then this past Sunday/Monday, the pain started to creep into my forehead. Feels like a pressure headache. Doesn't relent, no matter how relaxed or hydrated I am. I had these during my last wave for around 45 days and then they just...stopped. Hope it's a shorter amount of time and they just go away as quick as they came.

 

If I feel any anxiety, it's in my throat. Feels like I almost have a lump back there. No real anxiety at work, just tough concentrating when my head throbs.

 

Legs are also weak, which apparently is common. I found the asthenia thread. Insane what we go through during withdrawals.

 

I'm 48 days into this wave and ready to get off this ride. I've got the head stuff, leg weakness and throat stuff to conquer. I'll try to keep enduring.

[Neka]

2 hours ago, ryan1982 said:

Hey @Altostrataand @brassmonkey-

It's been about a week since I updated my story here. I think the anxiety is starting to really burn off- such a relief. Haven't had a cortisol jolt in the AM in about a week. So thankful.

 

For around 7 days, my head was feeling really weird and painful sensation on top of my skull and then this past Sunday/Monday, the pain started to creep into my forehead. Feels like a pressure headache. Doesn't relent, no matter how relaxed or hydrated I am. I had these during my last wave for around 45 days and then they just...stopped. Hope it's a shorter amount of time and they just go away as quick as they came.

 

If I feel any anxiety, it's in my throat. Feels like I almost have a lump back there. No real anxiety at work, just tough concentrating when my head throbs.

 

Legs are also weak, which apparently is common. I found the asthenia thread. Insane what we go through during withdrawals.

 

I'm 48 days into this wave and ready to get off this ride. I've got the head stuff, leg weakness and throat stuff to conquer. I'll try to keep enduring.

Glad you are doing okay! The pressure headaches and feel as if some is on your skull is nerve racking. I be glad when this is all over, I never felt like this in life it’s terrifying.

[ryan1982]

For sure, @Neka, such a difficult journey. Thanks for stopping by and always here to talk if you need me.

[ryan1982]

@Altostrata& @brassmonkey-

I was reviewing my notes from my Trileptal wave from December- February wave with my wife because this LDN wave has more or less loosely followed the same general pattern. At the end of my Trileptal wave, I had the crushing frontal headaches and due to another med issue, I tried 100MG of Gabapentin. I tried Gabapentin on 2/22 & 2/23 and the headaches pretty much stopped by 2/24. I didn't stay on the Gabapentin for more than a 3ish days because my anxiety started to skyrocket. But...the headaches never came back.

 

My wife knows this site very well but is just trying to fix the problem quickly and get me out of this rut. My symptoms continue to shift- not necessarily better, but not worse either- but what I do know is that I simply won't survive another prolonged wave. I'm already on the razor's edge as is and can't afford to have it get any darker.

 

So...my question is...Do y'all think there any correlations between Gabapentin helping me out of my wave/head pain? Or merely coincidence?

 

Appreciate y'all very much and thanks for your insight and help.

[Altostrata]

Have you tried the obvious remedies, such as ibuprofen, for headaches?

 

How about acupuncture or chiropractic for face and neck tension?

 

Many people find fish oil and magnesium supplements helpful, see

 

https://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/36-king-of-supplements-omega-3-fatty-acids-fish-oil/

 

https://survivingantidepressants.org/topic/15483-magnesium-natures-calcium-channel-blocker/

 

Magnesium can sometimes relieve headaches. You might try a little bit of one at a time to see how it affects you.

[ryan1982]

Thanks, @Altostrata. Yes to the acupuncture and chiro and have massage coming up tomorrow. I've tried Tylenol and ibuprofen to no avail. I've reacted poorly in the past to fish oil and magnesium but willing to try.

 

Stay away from Gabapentin, if I'm reading between the lines?

[Altostrata]

I have no idea if gabapentin will help you. If you feel you must try it, suggest a dose much lower than 100mg, to which you reacted badly when it ramped up after 3 days, maybe 25mg. If you take it daily for a month or more, you will need to taper off.

[ryan1982]

Thanks, @Altostrata. My symptoms have shifted yet again from a frontal headache to just frontal fullness. That makes the decision to not take Gabapentin a whole lot easier!

[ryan1982]

Just updating my notes here.

 

What's Gone:

- Cortisol in the AM

- Gut issues (feel 100% healed due to diet)

- Weakness in legs

- Unstable feet

- Sensitivity to light

- Dizziness

- Irritability

- Weirdness/pain on top of head

 

What Remains:

- Strange sensation/pain in middle forehead 

- Fatigue and general sleepiness

 

Overcome so much in the past 7+ weeks, just need to knock out this last little bit to get back to normal.

[ryan1982]

Shouldn’t have written the above, as the breathless/tight throat feeling is back today. Had acupuncture yesterday so perhaps there’s a correlation there. 

[ryan1982]

Hey @brassmonkey- Hope all is well, sir! Today is Day 64 of my wave. Around day 37, the head issues started. They began on the top of my head, then moved to my forehead and then finally, as of 7 days ago, there's a deep sense of pressure in the bridge of my nose and face. Anxiety comes and goes as I feel worse and my stomach hurts a good bit. I just feel sick.

 

Is this progression of symptoms a good thing? My last wave was 70ish days; should I anticipate about the same timeline? Just looking for some hope.

 

Thanks for your support, as always!

Ryan

[Jennings]

Hey just chiming in, I used to get this on Lexapro, it messes with your sinuses, I have tests done and went to an ENT, they said my sinuses were inflamed.  Once I tapered off, poof, they went away never to return.

 

I used to flush my sinuses every day and it helped.

 

Try this. https://www.walmart.com/ip/Neilmed-Sinus-Rinse-Starter-Kit-5-Packets

 

It's probably on Amazon too, I can't seem to find it right now though.

[brassmonkey]

Can't really say because each wave is an individual thing with it's own symptom pattern. I do know they can to be the same for each person, tending to follow a similar pattern. So comparing this one to your past waves may give some insight.

 

Jennings has some good ideas, it does sound like there is some sinus involvement and some saline spray may help.

[ryan1982]

Thanks, @Jenningsand @brassmonkey. I gave the Neti pot a shot a few times this weekend to no avail, unfortunately. Just think it's sadly a case of my nervous system being out of whack and just needing time to reset. These meds do the craziest things to you.  Onwards.

[ryan1982]

Hey @brassmonkey-

Update- still having the bridge of nose pain and some anxiety here and there. Overall, those are the last two symptoms remaining. Tried to treat with the sinus rinse and acupuncture to no avail. Saw an ENT and everything looked good in my nose, according to them.

 

You may remember that I've had nerve damage in my nose so I'm particularly freaked out that this is the progression of that. However, it feels much like the pain I had in my forehead and doesn't feel like my traditional nerve pain and is much higher on my nose. My thinking that it could be my nerve pain feeds my anxiety and frankly, freaks me out.

 

I've had this symptom for 15 days as it basically shifted right before my eyes from forehead to the bridge of my nose. All that said, is this normal? Have you heard of people having these problems in a wave? Should I try a medication like a decongestant to see if it works or just let it ride?

 

I'd feel really close to stabilization if I can kick this one symptom. I know you're not a doctor but I trust your advice implicitly.

 

Thank you, sir. Appreciate you so much.

[brassmonkey]

Back in January I suggested Sunning your Eyes. Have you been doing that? It's possible that this is a muscular thing and the sunning might help.

[ryan1982]

Thanks, @brassmonkey

 

Been sunning them a good bit actually. Feels great but doesn’t help the underlying issue too much, unfortunately. 

[ryan1982]

1 hour ago, GVR91 said:

@ryan1982 Did just the LDN instantly started this wave? I want to try it but a little hesitent.. 

 Sure did. Proceed with extreme caution, my friend. 

[ryan1982]

Update: I turn 39 today and I typically struggle on my birthday because it’s tough to see the lack of progress year over year. 
 

My bridge of nose pain went back to my forehead for a few days and then just disappeared. I have my normal nose pain that I treat with acupuncture, but that’s entirely different.  The only remaining wave symptom is crushing anxiety at certain points. Brutal, I’d take any physical symptom over anxiety. Trying to endure, endure and endure but it’s getting much harder. 

[ryan1982]

@Altostrata  @brassmonkey-

I’m almost 90 days into my wave and I’m not trying to be dramatic but I just don’t know how I’m going to get through this. All the symptoms have gone except for soul crushing anxiety. It pretty much incapacitates me at times and makes me feel like I don’t want to continue on. 
 

I’ve got young kids and a beautiful wife that I desperately want to be OK for. My wife and I are wondering if I need to go into an inpatient treatment facility. 
 

Is this permanent? Am I doing something wrong? I’m keeping it slow, simple and stable. 

[Altostrata]

What is your daily drug schedule, with dosages, now?

 

How do you feel before and after you take each drug?

 

What is your sleep pattern?

 

Did you try a low dosage of magnesium several times a day? Magnesium can take the edge off anxiety.

 

Are there particular thoughts that trigger your anxiety? Did you join any stress reduction or anxiety management classes?

 

 

 

 

[ryan1982]

Thanks, @Altostrata. I really appreciate the note. Thank you so much for always being there for me. To answer your questions:

 

- I take 1.9 MG of Lexapro at 8 AM and another 1.9 MG at 8 PM. 
 

- I honestly don’t notice much difference after I take my drug. It has no noticeable effect, positive or negative. 
 

- I fall asleep around 10 PM and wake around 7 AM. I don’t really get out of bed until 8 or sometimes even 9 since my kids are out of school for the summer. I can’t seem to get enough sleep. 
 

- I’ve had a bad reaction to magnesium in the past and I’m afraid taking it will further my wave. Thoughts on that?

 

- Three things trigger my anxiety- thoughts that I’m never going to get out of this wave, thoughts about work and lastly, the pain in my nose (trigeminal neuropathic pain). I also struggle sometimes talking 1:1 with people I don’t know very well, even though I’m very extroverted. 
 

- I have a therapist but I’m not sure it’s working. There’s a place locally that caters to working professionals with 1:1 and group therapy that I’m looking in to. 

[ryan1982]

Hey @Altostrata- I was looking back through my notes and this is what I found about my trying magnesium glycinate 3 years ago:

 

"@Altostrata- funny enough, it happened right after I took magnesium glycinate. I had a really bad reaction to it- nausea, dizziness and tinnitus. The nausea and dizziness happened after magnesium so I can’t take it. Unfortunately the tinnitus has stayed for about 3 weeks and the nausea and dizziness has left."