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Musk: is this withdrawal?


musk

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Musk,

 

First, this is not permanent.  I've been where you are.  In fact, it was about 7 months after cold turkey that I felt very, very bad, and suicidal.  In month 5 or 6 I chose to not reinstate because of the risk.  I made it through and you can, too.  My family is fine.  We are doing fine now.  Whether you reinstate or not is up to you, but either way the brain will heal.  Now that I am through the worst part I am glad I did not take the risk, but I didn't know then that I would make it.  

 

Right now, need a suicide hotline.  A line that will not get you hospitalized.  You just need someone to talk to.  Someone to calm you down.  You can get through this.  Tell us what your symptoms are.  We can help you calm until you find a hotline.

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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Look at this website and see if it is safe to call:

 

http://telefonodelaesperanza.org/llamanos

 

@Shep @scallywag

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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4 minutes ago, Rosetta said:

Whether you reinstate or not is up to you, but either way the brain will heal.  

 

I would like so much to enjoy your positive attitude, dear Rosetta. I have a more fearful attitude, this challenge is too big for me.

 

My family wants to hospitalize me. except my husband.

 

After tomorrow I have appointments for blood tests and psychiatrist.

 

My symptoms are now:

 

Insomnia: 1 or 1,5 hours sleep, except one day per week or so when i get 4 maybe 5 hours

 

Pain in one joint, always the same

 

Mental fog, desrealization

Cognitive loss, lack of concentration

Ruminative thought

 

8 Kg weight loss, despite appetite

 

Anxiety

Panic attack with motor agitation

 

Inable to feel positive emotions, social pleasure, love, motivation...

 

Inner cold (occasional)

 

Hair loss

 

Shortened menstrual cycle

 

 

Since JUN 2016: Sertraline. Took for 1 year, reduced & removed from 100 mg in 2 months. OFF Sertraline since 11 AUG 2017

-OCT and NOV 2017: Hipericum-St.Johns Worth

-25 DEC 2017: took sertraline 1 pill 50 mg

-Since end DEC 2017: Diazepam 5 mg. Reduced gradually. OFF Diazepam since 30 MAR 2018. 

-Since end DEC 2017: magnesium, omega3. 

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Thanks Rosetta. I know Telefono de la Esperanza and I used it. Depending on which volunteer you contact, it can be a bit frustrating. I prefer to talk to my psychologist, my husband or my sister. I never want to be alone.

 

Logic dictates that my current situation cannot last forever, its unsustainable for the human body. but in withdrawal nothing seems logical, ...

 

So, reinstatement is dangerous at this point? I would appreciate moderators opinion.

Since JUN 2016: Sertraline. Took for 1 year, reduced & removed from 100 mg in 2 months. OFF Sertraline since 11 AUG 2017

-OCT and NOV 2017: Hipericum-St.Johns Worth

-25 DEC 2017: took sertraline 1 pill 50 mg

-Since end DEC 2017: Diazepam 5 mg. Reduced gradually. OFF Diazepam since 30 MAR 2018. 

-Since end DEC 2017: magnesium, omega3. 

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Your symptoms are exactly what mine were.  I know precisely what you are feeling.  Precisely.  Same med, too, cold turkey.  What you are feeling is normal and expected.  It cannot kill you; it cannot hurt you.  It is miserable, absolutely miserable, but you will survive.  I hope you can believe me.  

 

Hold on to your husband.  You are very lucky he wants to keep you out of hospital, but you need someone to babysit you.  If I were you I would not let your other family hospitalize you.  One of them can volunteer to help keep you safe, but there is a big risk that if you go to the hospital that you will get more and different drugs.  It is very risky to take a different drug or a dose that is too high of the sertraline.  You cannot let the hospital do that to you.  You are healing although it does not feel like it.  This pain and fear is because of changes in your brain that are, in fact, healing.  Healing hurts.  

 

Try ray to remember this: this pain cannot kill or or hurt you permanently.  You will come through it as I did.

 

I hope a Mod will come along and talk with you about reinstating.  You have read about it, correct?  I remember that it's hard to get liquid in Spain.  The risk is there; I doubt anyone will encourage you to reinstate or take anything new right now.

 

Are you still taking Diazapam?   Still 1.5 mg?  Please confirm.

 

What about HTP?  When did you stop?  What dose where you on?   Please confirm.

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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Thank you, brave woman. It reassures me very much to hear that you went through the same thing and that you are better.

 

Diazepam I reduced to 0,83 mg 16 days ago. Possibly this has played its role. But I want to stop this **** so much! 5HTP leave it long ago. I now take Krill oil, Magnesium and L-glutamine. and an NSAID sometimes.

Since JUN 2016: Sertraline. Took for 1 year, reduced & removed from 100 mg in 2 months. OFF Sertraline since 11 AUG 2017

-OCT and NOV 2017: Hipericum-St.Johns Worth

-25 DEC 2017: took sertraline 1 pill 50 mg

-Since end DEC 2017: Diazepam 5 mg. Reduced gradually. OFF Diazepam since 30 MAR 2018. 

-Since end DEC 2017: magnesium, omega3. 

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16 minutes ago, Rosetta said:

What you are feeling is normal and expected.  It cannot kill you; it cannot hurt you.

 

Curiously, this is something that I am feeling these days: that I am dying, I feel that so real. I speak as if I was saying goodbye, I said goodbye to my colleagues, I say goodbye sometimes to my husband, etc.

Since JUN 2016: Sertraline. Took for 1 year, reduced & removed from 100 mg in 2 months. OFF Sertraline since 11 AUG 2017

-OCT and NOV 2017: Hipericum-St.Johns Worth

-25 DEC 2017: took sertraline 1 pill 50 mg

-Since end DEC 2017: Diazepam 5 mg. Reduced gradually. OFF Diazepam since 30 MAR 2018. 

-Since end DEC 2017: magnesium, omega3. 

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  • Mentor

Hi Musk,

 

Just wanted to tell you that I too, after a cold turkey off of Zoloft 11 months ago, had the exact same symptoms you have now. And without a family to support me. It is HARD and SAD and SCARY but you are obviously strong enough to get through this. Depending on your timeline to recover (and you will recover), there will be months more of Waves and Windows. And they are bad but not as bad as the months that you are surviving now. It is hard to imagine but they are. I am not healed yet but can say that the wave I am in now is not as severe as the ones this summer and fall. You can do it! You are strong!

  • Prozac | late 2004-mid-2005 | CT WD in a couple months, mostly emotional
  • Sertraline 50-100mg | 11/2011-3/2014, 10/2014-3/2017
  • Sertraline fast taper March 2017, 4 weeks, OFF sertraline April 1, 2017
  • Quit alcohol May 20, 2017
  • Lifestyle changes: AA, kundalini yoga

 

"If you've seen a monster, even if it's horrible, that's evidence of divinity." – Damien Echols

 

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Thanks for telling, Farmgirl!

 

Since JUN 2016: Sertraline. Took for 1 year, reduced & removed from 100 mg in 2 months. OFF Sertraline since 11 AUG 2017

-OCT and NOV 2017: Hipericum-St.Johns Worth

-25 DEC 2017: took sertraline 1 pill 50 mg

-Since end DEC 2017: Diazepam 5 mg. Reduced gradually. OFF Diazepam since 30 MAR 2018. 

-Since end DEC 2017: magnesium, omega3. 

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48 minutes ago, musk said:

Curiously, this is something that I am feeling these days: that I am dying, I feel that so real. I speak as if I was saying goodbye, I said goodbye to my colleagues, I say goodbye sometimes to my husband, etc.

 

I know.  I felt that way, too.  Exactly that way.  It's very, very scary, but it's just everything in your brain going haywire.  It feels almost real.  I once told my husband, "I don't want to die," and he looked at me like I was crazy.  It was impossible for him to understand what I was feeling.  I couldn't describe why I felt I was dying; I simply did.  I assume my brain was trying to make sense of what was going on in my body, but couldn't.  My brain kept sounding the alarm, but there was nothing to do about it because there was no threat.  I decided that I was afraid of myself -- afraid I would do something and then that's when I knew I was not actually suicidal.  I realized that I wanted to live more than anything in the whole world.

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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1 hour ago, FarmGirlWorks said: And they are bad but not as bad as the months that you are surviving now. It is hard to imagine but they are. I am not healed yet but can say that the wave I am in now is not as severe as the ones this summer and fall. You can do it! You are strong!

 

This is true.  You will get through this.  They get less and less intense.  It can be hard to see the difference between the waves because it might be very slight. At times, I could see it only after the wave had passed.  You can do it, Musk.  Remember how much your children need you and that there is a better day coming.  I just went to the zoo with my child on Sunday.  I had a good day all day, and it was lovely.  That is in your future.  

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi Musk,

 

You have been getting some really wonderful support from the other members.

 

Have you been keeping a daily diary of your drug times and symptoms?

 

If you haven't please start keeping notes on paper of when you take your drugs/supplements and when the symptoms worsen or reduce.

 

This is an example of the way to log the information, it would be a good idea to include food and drinks you consume.

 

Keep notes on paper about your drug dosages and daily symptom pattern

 

A symptom pattern that occurs regularly over several days could mean the symptoms are from withdrawal, other adverse effects of drugs, or something else you do on a daily schedule.

 

In the course of discussion in your Introductions forum topic, you may be asked to keep notes on paper of your daily symptom pattern, including when you take your drugs, their dosages, and any symptoms.

 

What we need to see for every individual day over several days is:

- Time and dosage for drugs taken in morning
- Time and description of any symptoms in the morning
 
- Time and dosage for drugs taken in afternoon
- Time and description of any symptoms in the afternoon
 
- Time and dosage for drugs taken in evening
- Time and description of any symptoms in the evening
 
- Time and dosage for drugs taken in middle of the night
- Time and description of any symptoms in the middle of the night (such as waking)
 
And so forth. A diary, in chronological order, such as:
 
6 a.m. Woke and vomited
8 a.m. Took 2.5mg Lexapro
10 a.m. Had diarrhea
10:30 a.m. Ate breakfast
11:35 a.m. Got a headache, lasted one hour
12:35 p.m. Ate lunch
4 p.m. Stomachache
5 p.m. Took 2.5mg Lexapro
6 p.m. Ate dinner
9:20 p.m. Headache
10:00 p.m. Took 50mg Seroquel
10:20 p.m. Headache got worse
10:30 p.m. Fell asleep
2:30 a.m. Woke, took 3mg Ambien (NOT "took 1/2 tablet Ambien")
2:45 a.m. Fell asleep
4:30 a.m. Woke with headache

 

An appointments diary is perfect for this and can be bought at stationery stores. 

They have a page for each day with times for appointments which can be filled in with doses, symptoms etc as shown by Alto.

* NO LONGER ACTIVE on SA *

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED:  (6 year taper)      0mg Pristiq  on 13th November 2021

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021   LAST DOSE 0.0025mg

Post 0 updates start here    My tapering program     My Intro (goes to tapering graph)

 VIDEO:   Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management

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  • Moderator Emeritus
On 2/14/2018 at 6:18 AM, Shep said:

Jan 16 - 2.5 mg

Jan 21 - 1.87 mg

February 13 - .83 mg

 

Your first reduction was from 2.5 mg to 1.87 mg, which is a 25.2% reduction.

Your second reduction was from 1.87 mg to .83 mg, which is a 56% reduction.

 

Musk, the post I quoted above is from your benzo thread. You are crashing from rapidly reducing.

 

You had posted the below on March 1 and we discussed an updose in your benzo thread here. I really think you need to updose. 

 

On 3/1/2018 at 8:54 AM, musk said:

In short, I think I was better at 1.25 mg, I even had a kind of window in the time I was in that dose. It was not good, the insomnia continued, but I felt better.

 

 

Because your nervous system may be more sensitive now than it was two weeks ago, you may only need to updose to 1 mg instead of 1.25 mg.

 

Please let us know what you think. Benzo reinstatements are best done within 2 - 4 weeks, so you really need to consider doing this now. 

 

 

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Hello Chesiecat.

 

I keep a journal, yes.

 

But I have no seen a pattern of symptoms.

 

For example, last 4 days.

Morning feeling quite normal, afternoon horrible mood, fatigued and without energy. Next day in reverse: horrible morning in panic, evening better, focused, feeling in balance. Next day in reverse again: quite normal morning (even planing a trip to USA :blink:), afternoon crying and very anxious, overthinking about my problem...and so.

 

 

 

 

Since JUN 2016: Sertraline. Took for 1 year, reduced & removed from 100 mg in 2 months. OFF Sertraline since 11 AUG 2017

-OCT and NOV 2017: Hipericum-St.Johns Worth

-25 DEC 2017: took sertraline 1 pill 50 mg

-Since end DEC 2017: Diazepam 5 mg. Reduced gradually. OFF Diazepam since 30 MAR 2018. 

-Since end DEC 2017: magnesium, omega3. 

Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus

This is an example of the best way to write your journal so the mods can assess it:

 

6 a.m. Woke and vomited
8 a.m. Took 2.5mg Lexapro
10 a.m. Had diarrhea
10:30 a.m. Ate breakfast
11:35 a.m. Got a headache, lasted one hour
12:35 p.m. Ate lunch
4 p.m. Stomachache
5 p.m. Took 2.5mg Lexapro
6 p.m. Ate dinner
9:20 p.m. Headache
10:00 p.m. Took 50mg Seroquel
10:20 p.m. Headache got worse
10:30 p.m. Fell asleep
2:30 a.m. Woke, took 3mg Ambien (NOT "took 1/2 tablet Ambien")
2:45 a.m. Fell asleep
4:30 a.m. Woke with headache

* NO LONGER ACTIVE on SA *

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED:  (6 year taper)      0mg Pristiq  on 13th November 2021

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021   LAST DOSE 0.0025mg

Post 0 updates start here    My tapering program     My Intro (goes to tapering graph)

 VIDEO:   Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management

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About diazepam.

With 17 days in 0.83 mg, I prefer to face the situation than to go back up. I think that great effort is worth it. It's hard but I have to be strong and try hard. I have decided to leave and that decision has its price in discomfort. I also have no liquid form available nor do I dare to do it myself.

 

Maybe today I feel strong? Last night I slept a lot more, the previous one very poor and very anxious, but Sunday night I also slept more and more calm ...

Since JUN 2016: Sertraline. Took for 1 year, reduced & removed from 100 mg in 2 months. OFF Sertraline since 11 AUG 2017

-OCT and NOV 2017: Hipericum-St.Johns Worth

-25 DEC 2017: took sertraline 1 pill 50 mg

-Since end DEC 2017: Diazepam 5 mg. Reduced gradually. OFF Diazepam since 30 MAR 2018. 

-Since end DEC 2017: magnesium, omega3. 

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Last 5 days:

March 9

8.00 breakfast + krill oil, glutamine

9.00-14.00 work. Brain fog. Whole morning watching internet (negative conditioning!)

14.00 suicidal ideas

15.00 lunch+ krill

Whole afternoon lying on sofa, internet, without motivation or interest, physically weak

20.00 dinner+krill, magnesium, glutamine

22.00 fall asleep without difficulty, wake up 1 hour later.

Diazepam 0,83 mg

Anxiety, worry.

 

 

I observe that when i watch internet about my problems i never have brain fog, when it comes to my problem, I'm focused.

Since JUN 2016: Sertraline. Took for 1 year, reduced & removed from 100 mg in 2 months. OFF Sertraline since 11 AUG 2017

-OCT and NOV 2017: Hipericum-St.Johns Worth

-25 DEC 2017: took sertraline 1 pill 50 mg

-Since end DEC 2017: Diazepam 5 mg. Reduced gradually. OFF Diazepam since 30 MAR 2018. 

-Since end DEC 2017: magnesium, omega3. 

Link to comment

March 10

9.00 breakfast + krill oil, glutamine

10.00-14.00 a little housework, a state of neutral mood

15.00 lunch+ krill

Afternoon try a little walk but physically weak, fatigued -> anxiety, worry, obsesion

20.00 dinner+krill, magnesium, glutamine

22.00 Hopeful after seeing some videos of people who overcame their illnesses. Fall asleep without difficulty, wake up 1,5 hour later.

Diazepam 0,83 mg

Anxiety, worry. Panic. Motor agitation (controllable, but i prefer agitate because i observe  i am exhausted and more relaxed after)

 

Since JUN 2016: Sertraline. Took for 1 year, reduced & removed from 100 mg in 2 months. OFF Sertraline since 11 AUG 2017

-OCT and NOV 2017: Hipericum-St.Johns Worth

-25 DEC 2017: took sertraline 1 pill 50 mg

-Since end DEC 2017: Diazepam 5 mg. Reduced gradually. OFF Diazepam since 30 MAR 2018. 

-Since end DEC 2017: magnesium, omega3. 

Link to comment

March 11

9.00 breakfast + krill oil, glutamine

10.00-14.00 anxiety, worry, obsesion, rumination. Try a walk with family but unable because of panic. Watching Internet. Motor agitation.

15.00 lunch+ krill

Afternoon try another little walk but panic, crying, anxiety, worry, obsesion

But in a moment I decide to make the effort to change and I change attitude, even meditate a few minutes (new)

 

20.00 dinner+krill, magnesium, glutamine

22.00 Fall asleep without difficulty, sleep 6 hour or so, but interrupted and light sleep

5.00 Diazepam 0,83 mg

 

Since JUN 2016: Sertraline. Took for 1 year, reduced & removed from 100 mg in 2 months. OFF Sertraline since 11 AUG 2017

-OCT and NOV 2017: Hipericum-St.Johns Worth

-25 DEC 2017: took sertraline 1 pill 50 mg

-Since end DEC 2017: Diazepam 5 mg. Reduced gradually. OFF Diazepam since 30 MAR 2018. 

-Since end DEC 2017: magnesium, omega3. 

Link to comment

March 12

8.00 breakfast + krill oil, glutamine

9.00-14.00 work. Feeling quite normal. Last day at work.

15.00 lunch+ krill

Afternoon, "bah". I meditate few minutes.

20.00 dinner+krill, magnesium, glutamine

I go to bed too late, and...

23.30 unable to fall asleep

Diazepam 0,83 mg. Great anxiety, agitation, worry, obsesive idea (my thinking is always about the same: withdrawal sindrome and autoimmunity)

Fall sleep at 4.00 until 5.15. Horrible nightmare.

 

 

Since JUN 2016: Sertraline. Took for 1 year, reduced & removed from 100 mg in 2 months. OFF Sertraline since 11 AUG 2017

-OCT and NOV 2017: Hipericum-St.Johns Worth

-25 DEC 2017: took sertraline 1 pill 50 mg

-Since end DEC 2017: Diazepam 5 mg. Reduced gradually. OFF Diazepam since 30 MAR 2018. 

-Since end DEC 2017: magnesium, omega3. 

Link to comment

March 13

8.00 breakfast + krill oil, glutamine

For the first time I decide to try a session of laughter. I laugh for 10 minutes.

Whole morning with anxiety and worry about my problem, my condition.

12.30-14.00 psychotherapy (EMDR), I go in crying and I thinking I'm dying, but I finish the session clearly better

15.00 lunch+ krill

Afternoon, fatigue, weakness. Thinking: like morning. Crying.

20.00 dinner+krill, magnesium, glutamine

22.00 fall sleep without difficulty, and get a night similar to march 11, 6 hours or so, but interrupted (this is new, a better night in two days)

5.00 Diazepam 0,83 mg.

Try to meditate in bed, but unable (overthinking).

 

March 14

 

8.00 breakfast + krill oil, glutamine

Quite normal mood.

Since JUN 2016: Sertraline. Took for 1 year, reduced & removed from 100 mg in 2 months. OFF Sertraline since 11 AUG 2017

-OCT and NOV 2017: Hipericum-St.Johns Worth

-25 DEC 2017: took sertraline 1 pill 50 mg

-Since end DEC 2017: Diazepam 5 mg. Reduced gradually. OFF Diazepam since 30 MAR 2018. 

-Since end DEC 2017: magnesium, omega3. 

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  • Moderator Emeritus
2 hours ago, musk said:

About diazepam.

With 17 days in 0.83 mg, I prefer to face the situation than to go back up. I think that great effort is worth it. It's hard but I have to be strong and try hard. I have decided to leave and that decision has its price in discomfort. I also have no liquid form available nor do I dare to do it myself.

 

Hi, Musk.

 

How are you getting your .83 mg dose? Are you using a scale? 

 

If you do decide not to updose, you'll need to rely on non-drug coping skills to get through this. It's not the drug that's causing your symptoms but the rapid way you've tapered.

 

Please see:

 

Non-drug techniques to cope with emotional symptoms

 

 

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0.83 is the third of a 2.5 pill. I split the pill giving it the most exact shape possible.

 

All the doctors that I consulted, tell me that I can leave without problems because the dose is so small.

 

I have been told that I could leave just now, but I have taken the middle path, neither too fast nor too slow. I do not see myself with the intention of making a very slow reduction nor I think am capable of doing my liquid form.

 

I'll have to face it.

 

Until recently I did not have much faith in the techniques without drugs, and I felt incapable. Just a few days ago I started to cultivate those skills. There are no immediate or quick results, but I think I should train more and achieve some benefit. I am determined to get out of any medication. I feel very weak and precarious physically and psychologically, but I believe that somewhere in the depths of my soul there is strength for this. 

 

Maybe now I see it like that and within 5 hours I'm saying goodbye because I think I'm dying or I'm thinking of ending my life. My moments of crisis are like spells, as if I were possessed for a while. and I think that I am increasingly aware of this fact.

 

Thanks, Shep.

Since JUN 2016: Sertraline. Took for 1 year, reduced & removed from 100 mg in 2 months. OFF Sertraline since 11 AUG 2017

-OCT and NOV 2017: Hipericum-St.Johns Worth

-25 DEC 2017: took sertraline 1 pill 50 mg

-Since end DEC 2017: Diazepam 5 mg. Reduced gradually. OFF Diazepam since 30 MAR 2018. 

-Since end DEC 2017: magnesium, omega3. 

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  • Moderator Emeritus
32 minutes ago, musk said:

All the doctors that I consulted, tell me that I can leave without problems because the dose is so small.

 

 

Doctors are very uninformed about withdrawal. Sadly, that has cost many of us our health. 

 

32 minutes ago, musk said:

I have been told that I could leave just now, but I have taken the middle path, neither too fast nor too slow.

 

As I've posted several times already, you tapered too fast. Anything faster than 10% per month is too fast. 

 

Why taper by 10% of my dosage?

 

 

32 minutes ago, musk said:

I do not see myself with the intention of making a very slow reduction nor I think am capable of doing my liquid form.

 

You could use a scale. Here is more information:

 

Using a digital scale to measure doses

 

We can help you with this, Musk. We can do the math for you and help you learn to work the scale, but you're going to have to also make an effort. 

 

32 minutes ago, musk said:

Maybe now I see it like that and within 5 hours I'm saying goodbye because I think I'm dying or I'm thinking of ending my life. My moments of crisis are like spells, as if I were possessed for a while. and I think that I am increasingly aware of this fact.

 

For the future, when you are feeling suicidal, please note we are only an online forum and we cannot help you in that extreme a crisis state. If you really are considering "saying goodbye" you need to find someone you can talk to in person. 

 

For those who are feeling desperate or suicidal

 

I'm glad you are feeling more aware of this and how difficult a rapid taper really is, but with these types of extreme symptoms, you may need more help than we are able to give. 

 

I also went through cold turkey and rapid taper to come off my drugs so I know how you feel. That's why I'm encouraging you to updose and to take our harm-reduction tapering advice. It's best to minimize your symptoms rather than to ride it out. With symptoms like insomnia, over time the exhaustion builds up and your ability to tough it out can weaken. 

 

Just some thoughts, Musk. I hope you take them to heart. 

 

Edited by Shep
fixed typo

 

 

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I have 3 months of insomnia, do you think I can get even more weak (physically & psyquically)? It is simply a question.

 

Perhaps other symptoms may occur, but more insomnia for me I think is impossible.

 

Another question: when reducing by %10, when you jump to 0 mg?

Since JUN 2016: Sertraline. Took for 1 year, reduced & removed from 100 mg in 2 months. OFF Sertraline since 11 AUG 2017

-OCT and NOV 2017: Hipericum-St.Johns Worth

-25 DEC 2017: took sertraline 1 pill 50 mg

-Since end DEC 2017: Diazepam 5 mg. Reduced gradually. OFF Diazepam since 30 MAR 2018. 

-Since end DEC 2017: magnesium, omega3. 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

The insomnia is what I'm really concerned about. That's why I was suggesting an updose. 

 

If you really don't want to try using a scale or doing a liquid titration, you may want to take the 2.5 mg tablet and cut it into 8 pieces. This will give you 8 pieces at .3125 mg each. Take one of those pieces and cut it half, giving you two pieces at .15625 mg. 

 

Take 3 of the .3125 mg pieces and 1 of the .15625 mg pieces and you will have a total of 1.09375 mg. This is very close to the 1 mg that was suggested earlier. 

 

This will not be as exact as using a scale or liquid, but it is better than not being able to updose. You may find this thread helpful:

 

How to cut up tablets or pills

 

Please note it takes 4 days for a change in dose to register with your nervous system. 

 

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

One more quick question - are you able to get 2 mg diazepam tablets in Spain? Or any dose lower than your current 2.5 mg tablet. That will make your taper easier if you can.  

 

 

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I asked, and no, there are no doses smaller than 2.5 mg.

Since JUN 2016: Sertraline. Took for 1 year, reduced & removed from 100 mg in 2 months. OFF Sertraline since 11 AUG 2017

-OCT and NOV 2017: Hipericum-St.Johns Worth

-25 DEC 2017: took sertraline 1 pill 50 mg

-Since end DEC 2017: Diazepam 5 mg. Reduced gradually. OFF Diazepam since 30 MAR 2018. 

-Since end DEC 2017: magnesium, omega3. 

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Musk,

 

If I were you I would take Shep's advice and updose.  It can get worse.  You will feel very bad at times, and I'm worried that you will end up in the hospital being given more drugs.  You are going to stabilize from this too fast taper, but it will take a while.  I think Shep may think it will take longer if you don't updose.  You are all ready exhausted I'm sure.  

 

Remember when you wrote that you wish you had reinstated the AD several months earlier?  Do you think it's possible you will feel that way about this?  Think about that today when you have a lucid moment.  You can't look at updosing as going backward.  This is not a linear process.  You must look at it as harm reduction -- reducing the harm that will come in the next wave or the next.  It does you no good to have a lower dose if you are suffering uneccesarily, in my opinion. You need to get to a point that you are getting enough sleep.  After that you can worry about reducing the drug.  This is simply my opinion from where I stand having suffered for several months with increasingly bad waves until they finally started to get better instead of worse.

 

All my best, Rosetta

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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I do not know ... I have doubts. I have diazepam since 2 months and little else. I do not know how long my healing will last, maybe 2 years, maybe 8. Nobody knows. But I will keep in mind what you tell me. And no, I will not go to hospital. 

 

Diazepam does not suppose any help to me to sleep.

Since JUN 2016: Sertraline. Took for 1 year, reduced & removed from 100 mg in 2 months. OFF Sertraline since 11 AUG 2017

-OCT and NOV 2017: Hipericum-St.Johns Worth

-25 DEC 2017: took sertraline 1 pill 50 mg

-Since end DEC 2017: Diazepam 5 mg. Reduced gradually. OFF Diazepam since 30 MAR 2018. 

-Since end DEC 2017: magnesium, omega3. 

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I'm sorry this has happened to you.  Try to rest even if you can't sleep.

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

Link to comment
7 hours ago, Shep said:

It's not the drug that's causing your symptoms but the rapid way you've tapered.

Perhaps the drug does not cause the symptoms, correct. But really, it actually does not help me with the symptoms. 

Since JUN 2016: Sertraline. Took for 1 year, reduced & removed from 100 mg in 2 months. OFF Sertraline since 11 AUG 2017

-OCT and NOV 2017: Hipericum-St.Johns Worth

-25 DEC 2017: took sertraline 1 pill 50 mg

-Since end DEC 2017: Diazepam 5 mg. Reduced gradually. OFF Diazepam since 30 MAR 2018. 

-Since end DEC 2017: magnesium, omega3. 

Link to comment
1 minute ago, Rosetta said:

I'm sorry this has happened to you.  Try to rest even if you can't sleep.

Ufff, I'm almost used to it!

Since JUN 2016: Sertraline. Took for 1 year, reduced & removed from 100 mg in 2 months. OFF Sertraline since 11 AUG 2017

-OCT and NOV 2017: Hipericum-St.Johns Worth

-25 DEC 2017: took sertraline 1 pill 50 mg

-Since end DEC 2017: Diazepam 5 mg. Reduced gradually. OFF Diazepam since 30 MAR 2018. 

-Since end DEC 2017: magnesium, omega3. 

Link to comment

By the way, since I am online, I take the opportunity to say the most important thing: that today has been a whole day of window, almost without any symptom. I almost forgot to say it!

Since JUN 2016: Sertraline. Took for 1 year, reduced & removed from 100 mg in 2 months. OFF Sertraline since 11 AUG 2017

-OCT and NOV 2017: Hipericum-St.Johns Worth

-25 DEC 2017: took sertraline 1 pill 50 mg

-Since end DEC 2017: Diazepam 5 mg. Reduced gradually. OFF Diazepam since 30 MAR 2018. 

-Since end DEC 2017: magnesium, omega3. 

Link to comment
21 minutes ago, musk said:

By the way, since I am online, I take the opportunity to say the most important thing: that today has been a whole day of window, almost without any symptom. I almost forgot to say it!

 

Good.  Rest.  Please do not overdo it.  You need the rest.

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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