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Rabe: how to taper and adjust Viibryd while on Clonazepam

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Rabe

@manymoretodays

Thank you. The dr had already called in the others which over rode the first rx so I went with them...I was going to stay with the .2 and .7s so as not to change before holidays....mad at myself.

Just texted the dr to see if he will call the .2 and .7s in tomorrow morning so that I can get them ASAP.  What he does will depend on his mood...if I could let you know tomorrow when I hear would that be ok?

 

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DMV64

Hi Rabe...thinking of you and sending love and hugs. How are you feeling?

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manymoretodays
6 hours ago, manymoretodays said:

I prefer that you don't switch back and forth with the formulation of clonazepam now.  If you would like to stay on the .2 mg and .7 mg doses of clonazepam now  AND have enough of a supply of them to do so.  THEN, BY ALL MEANS, weigh the contents of each of 14 capsules of Viibryd.

 

4 hours ago, Rabe said:

Just texted the dr to see if he will call the .2 and .7s in tomorrow morning so that I can get them ASAP.  What he does will depend on his mood...if I could let you know tomorrow when I hear would that be ok?

 

I'll be happy to hear what it is you decide to do with your clonazepam.

 

When do you get your next 3 month supply of Viibryd? 

We'll just begin again then.  With Viibryd.

 

And if you indeed have a 3 month supply of .2 and .7 clonazepam........I don't understand why you decided to text your doctor for more changes now.  No need to answer.

I can assume that perhaps you mailed back a supply of clonazepam to get new ones.

 

I don't know Rabe.

I do care and wish you the best.

 

I'll be around.   When  I'm on my desktop......I cannot do or post any math for you otherwise.

 

Edited by manymoretodays
oh man, some word changes, back to Sunday

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Rabe

@manymoretodays

13 minutes ago, manymoretodays said:

When do you get your next 3 month supply of Viibryd? 

We'll just begin again then.  With Viibryd.

I apologize if I wasnt clear...the Clonazepam is 3 months but the Viibryd is monthly.  I just got a month last week

15 minutes ago, manymoretodays said:

I can assume that perhaps you mailed back a supply of clonazepam to get new ones.

Yes, I did mail them back...but they did not replace them 

 

Thank you MMT.  Take care. 

 

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Hibari

Hi Rabe,

 

Just stopping by to wish you continued healing during this time.  I became a member of Baylissa Fredrick's site and the main thing I take away from her is her utmost faith that we heal.

That healing is occurring during all the bumps in our tapering journey.  I shared with her that I had made mistakes in my taper and she said that everybody does, including herself.  That there is not perfect taper and that many people she knows went up and down and all around in their tapering journey and they all healed.  

 

I share this because I think I read on your thread that fear is a big factor for you and it is for me as well.     I also think that some of it is artificial due to our nervous systems being so heightened right now.

I have never been this anxious in my life and I used to drink a lot of coffee!  

 

I think we have to be as kind to ourselves as we can.    Not everyone, for many different reasons, has the courage to take on withdrawal.  

We do, and I think we need to give ourselves more credit. 

 

Just wanted to share. 

 

 

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Rabe

@Hibari Oh Hibari, that is so SO kind of you!  Its wonderful how sometimes God sends angels when you need to hear something....happens here often.  I don't know how to thank you!!  How did you become a member of her site could I ask? 

20 minutes ago, Hibari said:

share this because I think I read on your thread that fear is a big factor for you and it is for me as well.     I also think that some of it is artificial due to our nervous systems being so heightened right now.

Yes...I am realizing just how massive the extent of my fear is...and for me as well it was never this quick to surface or as ongoing as it has been since all this started.  I find it very difficult to fend off and admittedly dont do it well seems right now...hoping that will get better as time goes on and my system can heal somehow.  

Your strength amazes me Hibari, and your reaching out in such difficult times for you means more than I can say.  Do take care, Hibari...you have been a lovely light in my life here.  Love and hugs.  

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wantrelief
58 minutes ago, Rabe said:

 I find it very difficult to fend off and admittedly dont do it well seems right now

You are doing great, Rabe - you are still here, trying to get what you need together and making plans for moving forward....that takes a lot of courage, as Hibari mentioned.  Thinking about you - WR.

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FarmGirlWorks
2 hours ago, Hibari said:

I think we have to be as kind to ourselves as we can.    Not everyone, for many different reasons, has the courage to take on withdrawal.  We do, and I think we need to give ourselves more credit. 

So true, so true. I met a woman yesterday at an AA small dinner so I felt okay saying that I was going thru ADWD. I kinda don't care right now who knows. The woman beside me said she wanted to do it (I think she was on Celexa) but was too scared to go thru withdrawal. I told her to not do it then because, if it goes badly, it can be terrifying. She said she couldn't do it.

 

We are brave, you are brave @Rabe and we are all stronger than we ever imagined. And it is a practice (that I often fail) to be kind to ourselves. I hope the best for all of us!

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Rabe

@wantrelief Thank you WR...courage and fear...polars...thank you so so much WR...I hope things are coming together for you!  Talk about courage!!  YOU have it trying to taper with all that is going on...Ill stop by your thread!💜

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Rabe

@FarmGirlWorks Ok I am now teary...thank you for what YOU have shared...the being kind to ourselves.  I dont do that very well.  I beat up on my self on the best of days much less the worst.  Something else I would like to work on.  It is hard sometimes I find when the messages you are receiving are that you are not good enough or not brave enough...my daughter sends that often and it is hard to combat...as does the therapist and the doctor.  So bless you FGW for your thoughts.  You are all such lovely gifts!!  Blessings to you!!💜  

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Rabe

@wantrelief Thank you WR...courage and fear...polars...thank you so so much WR...I hope things are coming together for you!  Talk about courage!!  YOU have it trying to taper 

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Rabe

@DMV64 Hi DMV...how are you doing?  I think about you so often with all that you have been dealing with!!!  🙏

Thank you for stopping.  I have had a wave come in...been hard to navigate...cancelled all my appts and all and have just been 

resting and trying to do some self care.  Thank you for thinking of me.  Means so very very much.  All of you serve as such hardy

lifesavers in waves as you have braved similar storms yourselves I think. I am so grateful to know you are near!  Take care of

you DMV!  Hugs!💜

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Rabe
15 hours ago, Hibari said:

I became a member of Baylissa Fredrick's site and the main thing I take away from her is her utmost faith that we heal.

That healing is occurring during all the bumps in our tapering journey.  I shared with her that I had made mistakes in my taper and she said that everybody does, including herself.  That there is not perfect taper and that many people she knows went up and down and all around in their tapering journey and they all healed.  

@Hibari Hi Hibari...just wanted to know how you joined this?  I had wanted to but didnt know how...I have listened to many of her videos...she is lovely!!

Thinking about you!!!💜

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Hibari
1 hour ago, Rabe said:

@Hibari Hi Hibari...just wanted to know how you joined this?  I had wanted to but didnt know how...I have listened to many of her videos...she is lovely!!

Thinking about you!!!💜

I became a member her website, which has a monthly fee.  You can see how to join on the welcome part of her website.

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bubbles

Hi @Rabe

 

Sorry to hear you've been having a wave, hope you feel well soon.

 

B

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Rabe

@manymoretodays No capsules at all today and nothing from the doctor...said would let you know. Thank you again for everything.  Take care.

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Rosetta

I'm sorry Rabe.  Are you out of Clonazapam?

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Rabe

well... the capsules I have left are the ones that were so out of the acceptable range Brass did for me....but I have been using them cause I have no others.  Have been using the older Viibryd as well cause was wanting to save the 20 new capsules I had for the crossover.  Will start using those tomorrow. New CL were supposed to come yesterday and then today...guess were sent out today...so maybe not tomorrow either cause they wont mail til end of day tho Friday pharmacist said would put in mail Friday.  

It will all come together .... things happen for reasons...wasnt meant to be right now.  Thats ok.  Thanks Rosetta!!!  Hope your day was ok!  I'll check on your thread...love and hugs to you!💜

I've been thinking a lot and it isn't the fear of tapering as much as what the tapering does...throws off my electrolytes and blood sugars and all...and then my digestion stops and I cant eat and I take a huge plunge....weight loss and muscle wasting etc.  Things are some better today overall and I am grateful for just that....and for everyone here!!😀  Thanks again my friend!    

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Rosetta

Ok.  As long as you have capsules to take.  I'm thinking of you.  Hopefully the new V will be better.

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Rabe

@Rosetta Thank you Rosetta...I hope so too...just not worrying about all the variance would be nice...if is no difference Ill go back.  Sometimes I think brass is right in that if that pharmacy continues to be so off perhaps a call to whoever oversees them would be in order...for me and for others in a similar boat.  I dont like doing those kinds of things but it would benefit many and thats important too. 

I would not have changed but the doctor called them in and he gets upset sometimes if I ask him to undo what he has done...so will see.  Dont want to rock that boat...need it to move forward and he is trying hard to be on board.  He is not going to be happy and may want to do something....will just have to see.  One day at a time.  Luv ya!  Ill check in on your thread.  I talked to my daughter about you and others here...she thinks you are most special!!!  And you are!  

I am feeling sad that I most likely will not get over to see her and Evie tomorrow.....my system is just to revved up and on the brink with this wave.  Has been a week and a half since seeing them cause she was working and then she and her husband had time off together and I dont like to intrude on that.  So tomorrow was kind of the day.  Perhaps tomorrow will be better.  I did get out and walk in the sun today...was nice...but later I didnt feel well...like even that was too much today.  But I also know the days can quickly change so who knows!! :) Take care Rosetta.  Love and hugs! 💜

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Rabe

@bubbles Thank you SO much bubbles!  Hope things are going well for you!!!  Take care!! 💜

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Rabe

@Hibari Thank you for that Hibari!  I hope you are feeling better!!  Been thinking about you since checked in with you earlier!💜

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Rosetta

Don't do anything that might jeopardize your supply of blue Clonazapam.  Not yet.  Wait until you are stable and then wait again.  You really must watch out for yourself right now.  

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DMV64
On 12/9/2018 at 11:04 PM, Rabe said:

I am so grateful to know you are near!

Me too you my friend, me too you!

How has today been? My morning was hard, lots of tears and anxiety. But now I feel much better. Nightime is always, well almost always, better.

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Rabe

Hi DMV>>>I was just on your site.  I am still teary...very sad could not work through the anxiety and headache and all to get to see my daughter and her daughter today...makes me really really sad.  It has been 2 weeks and she is frustrated and angry....breaks my heart.  SO much anxiety since weekend...had been doing better.  But hoping this wave will settle and I can get some groceries and get out tomorrow...tho storm may alter that.  I sometimes wonder if it is possible to get off the CLonazepam after half a lifetime on it.

I too find things seem to get better later...later evening usually.  Would like to feel worse then and better in day..perhaps one day.  Take care DMV. Glad you are feeling better now!!!💜

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Rabe

Today has been one that I would like not to have tomorrow...the anxiety is none that I have had before....every part of me feels like it is plugged into a socket.  I cant sit, but doing and walking and all doesnt help either...seems to make it worse.  I cant breath, I have tried everything I know to settle even bit...but not.  Thinking of everyone and saying 🙏 for us all. 💜

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DaveB
17 minutes ago, Rabe said:

Today has been one that I would like not to have tomorrow...the anxiety is none that I have had before....every part of me feels like it is plugged into a socket.  I cant sit, but doing and walking and all doesnt help either...seems to make it worse.  I cant breath, I have tried everything I know to settle even bit...but not.  Thinking of everyone and saying 🙏 for us all. 💜

 

I feel the same way about not wanting a tomorrow. I usually feel better at night...so if this is good...I don’t think I can handle tomorrow!

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Hibari
2 hours ago, Rabe said:

Today has been one that I would like not to have tomorrow...the anxiety is none that I have had before....every part of me feels like it is plugged into a socket.  I cant sit, but doing and walking and all doesnt help either...seems to make it worse.  I cant breath, I have tried everything I know to settle even bit...but not.  Thinking of everyone and saying 🙏 for us all. 💜

I am in the same boat and now can't sleep. 

 

I am praying for us all as well.  

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Rabe

I cant sleep either Hibari...wish we were closer...could have a party!!! 😴 Thinkig of you!!!💜

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manymoretodays

Rabe,

Dutifully noted that your re-compounded clonazepam .2's and .7's have not yet arrived.   They have been re-compounded to .1 mg strengths.

When they do arrive.  Just take them at the 5:30 pm and 11:30 pm times.

If you can stay on those babies, without a switch back to .2's and .7's that will be remarkable.   And in your favor.

 

Something I just thought of.  There may be some variance, once again, if they used your previous compounded doses, to make new doses from them.  So hang in there.  I don't think you will notice a thing actually.

 

Did I see note of an extra clonazepam dose since you have gone back to using some of your older supply?  And that's what drug and symptom logs help us with.   You can keep doing daily logs and posting them.

 

Read this post about Tips when using the Gemini 20 scale

And also use the video, if you can't read the manual that came with your scale, you can start and stop the video as needed while you take notes:
Smart weigh Gem20 digital scale

 

Why don't you weigh those capsules of the Viibryd, your most recent ones that you will start taking tomorrow.  Do the capsules look like you can open them?

 

Weigh 7 of them with the contents inside of them.  Just to get some practice again. 

When you see the doctor in 2 weeks, get more tablets then.......to send to the compounder, of your Viibryd. 

I'm interested to see if they controlled for the filler more and if they all weigh really close to each other now.  You said here in your introduction, awhile back that something was weighing more consistently.

 

And make sure he, your doctor,  calls in the .1 mg clonazepam capsules as well, so you will have both supplies gotten at the same time each month.

 

You probably won't understand this completely, as you are quite compromised from years and years and years of medication, and now, subsequent withdrawal symptoms, as well as all the usual symptoms long term benzo users run into.

Read it over later.

 

Go see your granddaughter........that's bound to help.  Can your daughter bring her to you?  Can you sing to the baby?  Are they 40 minutes away by car?  I don't think the baby has genetic anxiety and addiction.  Was her Mom on meds during pregnancy?  Sometimes it takes infants awhile to settle if so.  Babies are also just shaky by nature.  Their nervous systems are immature.  They startle easily.  Get easily overwhelmed.   Somewhat like the rest of us here.........as we heal and recover from medication damages to our nervous systems.

 

Are you free from alcohol usage from many years ago?  Hoping so.  Alcohol and benzo withdrawal really don't mix at all.

 

Tell your therapist that you would rather work on relaxation techniques with her........rather than leave yourself open to her opinions.  Just an idea.

 

You'll get there Rabe.   Some degree of stabilization.

 

What do you mean you want to go home?  Would your daughter be able to take you in?  Or help you find an apartment closer to where your home used to be?

 

That's plenty.  Again, don't feel like you have to absorb it all in one reading.  I used to take notes on posts when I first got here.  And then respond.  That was the only way anything made sense.

 

And you've done some breathing and baths.  Excellent.

 

L, P, H, and G,

mmt

 

 


 

 

 

Edited by manymoretodays

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Rabe

No re-compounding...no use if previous compounded doses...got 100 .2mg capsules of CLonazeapam and if goes ok will get rest of rx.  I weighed them and in general weights are better...are few high (.271) and low (.232) but very few...so better.  No, no added doses of the Clonazepam.  I can post logs.

 

I already started the new Viibryd capsules and weighed those as well...  .237 to .260...but only one or 2 of the high and lows...rest are in a good range I think.  Perhaps alerting them has made a difference.  I hope so.  I don't know about opening them?  I haven't really tried that with these...I will take an old capsule that I am not going to use and try that before doing one that I am going to use perhaps?

 

Thank you for links to scale as I do find I can weigh some capsules and then if weigh again they can differ .... but not by much I dont think?  Not sure how much matters...but up to .005 on the scale...not sure if it is me, environment, or scale or just way is.

 

So it is good to get all three of the capsules and start them at the same time?  I thought maybe it would be better to start one at one time and the other a month later or something so that aren't changing everything at once d/t new compounded doses?   As it is the Viibryd comes monthly and the CLonazepam is close to being started at the same time.  

 

My daughter and baby and I  Face timed again today so that was nice.  She is 18 months so not an infant anymore.  Im sure she will grow out of her being so hyper alert.  No my daughter takes no meds and does not drink except occasionally.  My daughter has brought her here rarely..think it is easier for her there and she doesnt want to make the trip...and I think she is just accepting that I am not going to be there much....yes...at least 40 minutes by car.  

 

No alcohol use. 

 

Saw therapist today and actually was good/productive...so that is nice.

 

My home town is 2 1/2 hours from here.  My daughter would never have me there...especially now.  She is too busy with the baby to help me in any way...I dont ask anymore...the baby is her priority, as it should be.  Her support would be nice but not there. I am looking at how and where to go home...it it is possible.  I have friends there, church, AA groups, and familiarity with health, dentist, car etc etc.  Think it would be best, especially at this point as I am not much good here...if dont see her here than I feel go to a place that perhaps would be better for me and where I could maybe heal better...but that may not be so as well.  On the days I feel so horrible Im not sure it would matter where I was...but do miss home...and my old home.  

 

Thank you again MMT. Hope things are good in your corner of the world.  Take care.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Rabe

@DaveB 

On 12/11/2018 at 9:21 PM, DaveB said:

I feel the same way about not wanting a tomorrow. I usually feel better at night...so if this is good...I don’t think I can handle tomorrow!

 Hi Dave...I empathize!  Usually my nights are better but today not...its all so different isn't it?  It is hard to plan or get excited about things because our systems dictate so much.  But you are so strong and none the less manage to get through each day and I applaud you for that....a feat in and of itself.  Take care, Dave!  Thinking about you!

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Rabe

12/9 bout 6 hours sleep

earlier awaken and heart is pounding so...back to sleep

900 up and resting

1115 yoga

1140 9mg Viibryd with food

1230 anxious

200 increased anxiety, head hot and full, ears ringing so loud

330 walk

420 horrible anxiety

500 food

530 better

540 .2mg clonazepam with food

700 anxious

800 more anxious

830 food

855 .3mg premarin with food, anxiety, dizzy

950 more anxiety, feel hard to breath, ears ringing

1100 finally some better

1140 .7mg clonazepam with milk

100 to bed

 

 

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Rabe

12/10

up at night...heart pounds

up once to br and up once so hot and sweaty

5 to 6 hours sleep

930 up

1115 yoga

1145 9mg Viibryd with food

1230 increased anxiety and heart fast

1245 walk was hard but nice to get out

100 talked on phone with good friend

120 food

315 short walk

540 .2mg Clonazepam with food

600 heart skips

650 chills, dizzy, head full, vision off, not feel well

830 very anxious,vheart skips, head hot, headache, off balance, ears ring loud, feel hard to breath, anxious, agitated

845 .3mg premarin with food

855 chills

1120 feeling better

1150 .7mg clonazepam with food

1220 headache, head hot  to bed

 

12/11

not sure how long slept

900 up, anxious, sad, bad headache

1115 yoga

1145 new 9mg Viibryd capsule with food

200 walk 

300 anxious

430 headache better, some better

330 food

400 headache and anxiety til bout 5

430 FT with daughter

515 short walk

530 little better

540 new .1mg clonazepam (2) with food

700 heart skipped, head hot, don't feel well, chills

800 horrible anxiety

8345 .3mg premarin with food

1000 heart skipped,anxiety

1120 better

1145  .1mg Clonazepam (7) with milk

100 heart skips ... to bed

 

 

 

 

 

 

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