Rabe: how to taper and adjust Viibryd while on Clonazepam

[Rabe]

@manymoretodays Welllll.....just talked to the pharmacy and there will be no further blue Sandoz clonazepam tablets available once the ones they have there are gone...discontinued entirely!

I see the doctor tomorrow and will talk to him about it as well.  Wondering if the Clonazepam is going to have to go first...IDK.  This threw me for a bit of a loop!  I thought another manufacturer

had taken them over...and they had...but they are also stopping production.  She said they can get just the clonazepam powder plain for compounding....but IDK about that... and there is a 2mg white tablet by same company so no dyes at all....😳 Scary stuff!  How dare they?????😮

[bubbles]

What is worrying you about the powder or the other tablets?

[Rosetta]

Rabe,

 

If there are no dyes maybe it will be ok.  Even if it's technically a change, not all changes cause problems.  I'm really glad that you can avoid the dye.  There's a possibility this will be better overall.  I hope so!  I know you are nervous.  

 

I hope your day went well.  Thanks for all your well wishes.  

[Rabe]

@bubbles  Hi bubbles....I dont know it he clonazepam powder alone is more potent?  I didnt do well the the regular Klonopin or the oral ODT of Klonopin....reacted so IDK.  The tablets it depends upon the dyes and fillers.  This is why I have been trying ot find the tablets I have because they are the ones that I have not had problems with.  Hope all is well bubbles!  Take care!

[Rabe]

@Rosetta  Thannk you Rosetta.  Been some long days with anxiety and not able to get to see my daughter, then such bad stomach Monday and high anxiety yesterday...😡  

 I had the moving person here to look at the damage and it all was upsetting to me.  Then I had a GI appt and they do want to do an upper GI and colonoscopy.  Find it hard to trust doctors and all that I dont know at all...this is why and when I really want to go home.  The doctor not as much as the anesthesiologists in this case as have seen too much I guess and tapering/WD thrown on top.  

And then I see the psych doctor and therapist tomorrow .... always kind of get concerned about those.  

Christmas is coming and I want to be ok so I can see my family....so need to try to just settle down...try to let the rest go until after that...but haven't been very good at it so far.  Did get out for a short walk which was nice but have been quite anxious of late.  

I think I had my first really recognizable cortisol spike yesterday....woke cant remember exact time...and was SO anxious and fearful.  It was the night after I had such awful stomach pain....so maybe because of that...IDK.  Just unsettling...I was just unreasonable...counted my pills...dont even know why...I was just...out of control I guess.  That in itself is upsetting.  Well...the journey continues one day at time.  Love to all!!  💜  

[Rabe]

12/15

up x 2...5 horus or so of sleep

1030 anxious..passed

1145 9mg Viibryd with food

100 anxiety

145 walk

200 increase anxiety

230 ran errand

245 increase anxiety

340 really really tired...passed

430 better

500 dizzy, head hot, headache, anxius

520 food

500 talked with sponsor/good friend

515 chilled...out to feed birds

540 .2mg Clonazepam with food

615 eyes puffy underneath and feel allergic

640 head hot

800 increased anxiety

840 .3mg Premarin with food

900 talked with my son

1030 irritable, wrapped gifts

1140 .7mg Clonazepam with milk

1200 feel drugged and drowsy

1230 to bed

 

12/16

up x 2    3 hours sleep

up 900 - rested

1030 very anxious and depressed

1100 yoga

1140 9mg Viibryd with food

1230 anxious, depressed

100 walk

around 230 some better

350 anxious - food

420 errands - pale, anxious

515 better

540 .2mg Clonazepam with food 

740 head hot, anxious, depressed, stomach sore

830 increased depression

835 took a tums

845 .3mg Premarin with food

930 stomach worse

1000 wrapped gifts, cleaned up, talked with daughter

1100 stomach still sore

1140 .7mg clonazepam with food

230 still up, not tired

530 slept til now

 

12/17

woke about 515? - very anxious, fearful, headache, counted my meds and dont know why

rested, stomach better than last night

1140 9mg Viibryd with little food

1200 stomach not good, rested

100 ate a bit again and stomach feels hot, chilled then hot

230 to PO to mail gifts to my son and family...heart feels fast

300 did not do more errands...back and rested

500 put car in ... had some bites of potato

545 .2mg Clonazepam with food

715 food, stomach unsettled but better than yesterday

840 .3mg Premarin with food 

1146 .7mg Clonazepam with milk.

1200 short bath and to bed

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Rabe]

Saw the psych doctor today...the therapist said not to come because there were toxic fumes in the building.😳 She knows I dont do well with those things...then again no one probably really does.

Anyway, the doctor wants me to drop the Viibryd by .25 after the holidays.  He gave me a bunch of samples...enough to hold 30 or 60 days.  He said that he feels the doctor in treatment mandated the Viibryd for anxiety not depression...that he thought it would help my anxiety! 🙄 He also said that it is a very hard SSRI to come off not only because it affects two sites but more that it is very potent...has a very strong affect on those sights, particularly the serotonin.  Its the first time he has actually come out and told me why this is so hard.  He asked me again if I had ever tried Prozac....Im thinking because he talked before about switching to Prozac and then getting off that.  I told him I tried every SSRI including Prozac, as well as many other things for anxiety control, before going on the Clonazepam.  It was a last step.  

I still have the Viibryd tablets in a bottle saved for a crossover....for now had to go along with what he prescribed which is 8.75mg fo next refill.  I told him about my GI issues and all... not wanting to rock the boat much right now given those are such a mess. And guess I will text him about the tests they want to do as not sure having those in the midst of tapering is wise either. 

[SkyBlue]

Rabe, remind me please: what is your current tapering plan?

[Rabe]

@SkyBlue  Hi Sky-blue...it is to crossover to the tablets and then taper the Viibryd from there.  I didnt say much to day because he feels he has waited too long and feels 'we' need to move forward.  e did as about the weighing the tablets and I explained to him that people here are on holiday breaks so will be in the new year that we start the crossover and that the change to .1 capsules caused a problem and I apologized to him as I didnt understand that and it is my fault.  Usually he is great, but he wasnt in the greatest mood...I told him about the GI because I dont feel it would be good to be tapering when I get that done.  He asked if I had made the appt yet and I said no because need to check with my daughter first as I will need a ride and she will check their work schedules so that her husband can take care of the baby and she can take me.  So my gut said to just let it go for today and then when I schedule that I told him I would let him know...I know/believe  that when I do that he will stay with the .9 and we will be able to go from there.

[Rabe]

I took in the note from here and he focused on the 'sometime in the new year'.  IDK...he goes through these times when he feels this needs to be done yesterday and other times he is more flexible.  I was there over the time limit and said what I could...didnt want to go too far.  He gave me the rx...he usually faxes it...so I am going to call the pharmacy again...called yesterday and said I would be sending more tablets for compounding.  I will call tomorrow and if there is a refill on the Viibryd I will get that and go from there.  If nothing else I do have tablets here.  Thank you for checking in Sky-blue.  I am trying to just go along with it and not get really anxious and upset which is not easy for me.  I have to believe it will all work out. 

[Rabe]

@SkyBlueIm sorry I didnt flag the above and sent it before I finished.  We talked about a lot...I updated him on everything.  What he focused on first was the fact that the compounding pharmacy now will no longer be able to get the needed Clonazepam and wanted to start tapering that.  So it took some trying to focus, stay calm, and work through that first.  I told him the pharmacist said there is a 2mg white CLoanzepam that would have no dye (good) and same fillers so no worries..well he could not find it on his iPhone...so he wasnt  sure about that.  Finally got him to stay with the Viibryd but by then we were about out of time so I just panicked a bit and then regrouped in the car and thought it will be ok....he is a good person and generally is very flexible...so going to believe it will be ok.  I was just thinking that perhaps another note that is more specific would be helpful if that is possible?

I got home and posted before all had really sunk in....and I just needed to get it out on 'paper'...but I ought to have just digested things for a bit and posted when my mind was not upset and I was thinking things though better.  Thank you again. 

[Rabe]

I called the pharmacy and there is another refill on the current Viibryd so they will send that as soon as I get them the capsules, I messaged GI about scheduling the procedure, so am feeling more settled

about yesterday today.  Going to do some yoga, get a walk in, and try to keep my stomach to a dull roar.  Thinking about you all....sending hugs!!!💜

[neroli]

Hello Rabe

 

Hope your days have been a bit better lately.  You've had quite a time of it in the past few days.  To be able to settle for xmas would lovely, so you can have some time with your family.

 

I have finished work for a week or so, now, and a friend is picking me up to go to her place for xmas day - so I hope I will feel settled for that as well.  The rest of the time I will try to get out for walks and use my distraction tools to have a go at relaxing in the times between.

 

I wish you all the best - xmas wishes coming over the pacific.

 

Neroli 💜

 

 

[Rabe]

@neroli  Oh Neroli thank you...I am so glad to hear you are off work for a bit and that you will be having a nice Christmas with friends!!  God knows you deserve that!  

I am going to try to get to my daughters to celebrate when my son and his wife come...but will see...every day is different.  My son said he would come here...that he would not

leave without seeing me...bless him!  He has dealt with much in his own life and has an old soul that is very wise, kind and accepting.  

Christmas wishes back at you, alllllll the way over the 'pond', Neroli!!!  Hope those legs settle so that you can get some outside time as well.  Do take care and have a lovely holiday!!!💜

[Rabe]

I have been so sick with this stomach.  It has been not the same since the rapid hospital taper last September.  It burned horribly.  Then got better and then worse with tapering again...and seems to get worse on and off.  I have had reflux for a long time and had to stop the PPI because began reacting to that after tapering.  I thought that was the issue, or certain foods I was eating....but I am beginning to think it is the CLonazepam and/or the WD in general?  It is way better or not there in AM...and then around 3pm today it was so so bad again...settled after the 545 Clonazepam and then was way worse again at bout 800 and better again about 1100...

I was just wondering if anyone else has experienced this?  It feels like my stomach/GI are burning up and raw.  I dont want to eat or drink anything except water...but I cant do that with the electrolytes so am at least trying to drink what I have to for that.  Thanks much if anyone has insight into this.  Take care. 💜

[neroli]

Hello Rabe

 

Thanks for your thoughts on my thread.  Been thinking about you, too.  So have come over to see what's going on for you.  That stomach issue sounds awful - I don't have the same as you, I get a hungry/gnawing/nausea feeling and flatulence (which I'm trying to control with a non-wind inducing diet, basically keep to the "softer" fibre foods, cucumbers, tomatoes, lettuce, capsicum and the like - have cut out radishes and celery) and cheese seems to do it as well.  Bread does but not as bad and I'm not prepared to cut out my afternoon treat of bread and butter just yet.

 

Anyway, no I don't get the burning - but I'm not surprised that this could be happening, goodness knows how our stomach linings cope with the mix of drugs that go down there.  I'm sorry you are having this on top of everything.  I have heard of people talking of Benzo belly in WD (and possibly on them as well), I can't find conclusive reports of a burning sensation but it seems there are myriad symptoms that could come with a Benzo.  

 

But I doubt there's anyway to really know which drug it could be.  Oh, Rabe, I do hope this calms down for you, you have enough difficulty eating as it is.I know you have trimmed your diet so much to avoid what affects you.

 

Here's hoping you can make the family event, at least you will see your son as he has said he won't leave without seeing you.  Lovely man.

 

Sending you warm and best wishes.

 

 

Neroli 💜

 

 

 

 

[Rabe]

@neroliHi Neroli...I do get the gas and the bloating as well..had thought it dairy or gluten...but just wonder of it being the WD.  I was thinking tonight that when i saw my first endoscopy with gastritis and little ulcers....I remember thinking the little red areas were about as big and round in size as the klonopin tablets I was taking.....does make me wonder.  Oh well.

Bless you Neroli for hearing me all the way across the waters.  

Yes Having the other drug added just muddies things cause dont know whats what...not that it matters that much I guess.  You sound good...mroe settled?  I hope so!!  No...dont give uo your bread and jam and tea!!  That is a true treat!!! Blessings Neroli!!   Thank you for stopping!!💜

[Rosetta]

Wishing you a Merry Christmas, Rabe.  All my love, Rosetta

[Rabe]

12/18

headache am/slept 5 to 6 hours

1030 anxiety, agitation

1140 Viibryd 9mg with food

1240 anxiety increase

115 SOB, anxious

130 to appointment

220 to store

230 food

300 walk

400 FT with daughter and child

430 errand - quite anxious

540 Clonazepam .2mg with food

640 increased anxiety, headache, chills

730 food

815 increased anxiety

840 could not remember if took Premarin .3mg - bit of melt down but changed channels and got some better later

1145 just not feeling well....Clonazepam .7mg with milk

130 bed

 

12/19 slept less than 5 hours

up 615, heart pounds, thirsty

1100 man from moving company here to look at furniture

1145 Viibryd 9mg with food

230 to GI NP' 

330 food

440 walk in cold

515 better

540 Clonazepam .2mg with food

630 food

730 food

800 anxious, head hot, feel feverish bit am not

845 Premarin .3mg with food, increased anxiety

1115  better

1145 Clonazepam .7mg with milk

1200 bath

130 bed

 

12/20 slept 6 hours

1000 stomach sore and hot

1100 yoga

1145 Viibrys .9mg with food

130 psych appt - not best

230 got gasolinie

245 food

400 talked with my son

415 walk, anxiety increase

510 better, snack

530 eyes irritated, feel allergic

545 Clonazepam .2mg with food

600 food

715  snack

830 feel short of breath, eyes better, depressed, anxious

845 snack with Premarin .3mg 

900 food

1000 increased anxiety

1115 better

1145 CLonazepam .7mg with milk

1245 increase anxiety

100 short bath and to bed

 

12/21

6 hours sleep

feel ok this am

1100 yoga

1140 Viibryd 9mg with food

1230 walk

115 chest hot and eyes irritated and red

200 food

240 increased anxiety

430 better

415 food

545 Clonazepam .2mg with food

600 chiled, cold

730 depressed, tired, sad, crying

810 nervous, feel short of air, anxious

845 Premarin .3mg with food

1015 better

1115 much better

1145 Clonazepam .7mg with milk

1230 washed up and to bed 100

 

12/22

5 hours sleep

600 depressed

1000 anxious

1115 yoga

1145 Viibryd 9mg with food

150 walk

230 dizzy, passed

245 food

330 food

545 Clonazepam .2mg with food

615 feel short of breath, eyes irritated, stomach so hot and sore

650 chills, stomach better

800 stomach worse again

845 Premarin .3mg with food

900 head hot, feel short of breath, stomach hot, headache

1045 some better

1145 Clonazepam .7mg with mild

1230 bath

130 bed

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[neroli]

Dear Rabe

 

Stopped by to see how you are, so sorry to hear you get the anxiety, depression and fatigue - and crying jags.  Know that you are not alone - I get them too.  It can feel like cold comfort to be told you are not alone when the symptoms ramp up - it's such a personal struggle.  But I do "get it" and am pleased to see that you get some short breaks from it during the day, some relief anyway.

 

Hope you've managed the holiday period ok.

 

Warm wishes and hugs

 

Neroli 💜

[Rabe]

@neroliHi Neroli...thank you for stopping.  This is the first day that I not only have felt that I dont want to do this any more but that I just cant do it anymore...to myself or those I love.  My so and his wife stopped today...took meds and ate and we had a nice talk and looked at pictures.  They would have taken me to my daughters with them but i could not do it today.  I have been so anxious all day .... no breaks.  I have so wished for just one day this holiday...Christmas will be tomorrow for us and today has been so bad that I feel I will not be able to be a part.  I am going that is not true as I have had better days....I just feel so defeated and sad.  I did better last year after the rapid taper at Christmas than this year which I didnt think would be.  My body feels so so tired.  I hope your legs are doing better Neroli....take care.  Love and hugs💜

[wantrelief]

Oh Rabe - I am so very sorry you are feeling so badly today.  I am really happy you were able to see your son and his wife....it sounds like you had a good time together.  I am so sorry though that you could not make it to your daughter's and have been so anxious all day....that all sounds really hard and very frustrating.  This is all so tiring and waring. I really hope tomorrow is a better day and you are able to celebrate with your family. I am thinking about you and sending you lots of hugs - WR.  

[Carmie]

Hi Rabe, 

 

Thanks for dropping by my thread, 

 

I’m really sorry you’re having a tough time. 

 

Sending you lots of hugs and sunshine 🤗🤗☀️☀️

[neroli]

Dear Rabe

 

It's so difficult, so very difficult when you feel tired out by it all and how it is affecting your ability to join in.  I think xmas can be quite a hard time of year anyway....to have this WD on top is pushing the envelope just a bit too far. Coincidentally, Tara Brach (buddhist teacher on video) has just mentioned how for some people xmas is a difficult time.

 

I am so sorry that you are feeling that emotional pain, that you cannot make it to your daughter's and that you are so sad.   I do understand.  And I do hope that there will be some little window for you that will offer you a drop of relief and recuperation.

 

Please know that we are all thinking of you.  And that tomorrow is better for you.  This stuff is up and down, we know that, we ride out the downs, somehow.  I know you have immense strength, even though you are feeling at the end of your tether.

 

I'm sending as many supporting thoughts your way as I can.

 

love

 

Neroli 💜

[neroli]

Thinking of you today, Rabe

 

 

Neroli 💜💜

[bubbles]

Hope you’re feeling better Rabe.

[wantrelief]

I am thinking about you, Rabe, and hope today was a better day for you.  💗

[Rosetta]

I'm thinking of you.  I hope today was better.  -R

[Rabe]

@wantrelief @Carmie @neroli @bubbles @Rosetta  thank you all for stopping and for caring...as always it means more than I can express.  

After such a bad day Thursday I tried to drive to my daughters Friday and had to come back.  Prayed so hard and did a meditation...the Michael Sealy one on detachment from overthinking sometimes helps.  I took a short walk in the cold and then I got in the car with all the gifts and tried again... I was able to get to my daughters where my son, his wife, my daughter and grand daughter and I had a lovely Christmas afternoon.  I even stopped at the store and got myself food I could eat.  Her husband came home from work at 6 and we had dinner and then my son and wife taught us pinochle.  I was surprised my brain was able to function well enough to pick up the details and play.  I even stayed the night and then came back this morning when my son and his wife left to return east.  I have been expressing my gratitude all day for this lovely window that I could have never imagined.  It was my greatest gift...the greatest most treasured gift.

Today I am tired...so rare... and my stomach is bad ... but I am so so grateful for yesterday and its blessings.   It was not easy but to have a day that seemed 'normal' in that I was able to do what others were doing and be a part of a life I have known rose above the stress for most part.  

Thank you all again....it is here that I get knowledge, understanding, support and strength...without it I dont know where I would be.  Bless you all!  And thank you again!!💜   

I am going to rest and hopefully do the same tomorrow...if could get my stomach to cooperate I think that would help.  I am going to have to schedule those tests.  Dont want have them but they are way overdue I know.  

Blessings and love. 💜

 

 

[neroli]

Dear Rabe

 

That is so marvellous.  What a brave person you are - you turned back, then "re-grounded" with your walk and meditation, then you tried again and managed it!  Wow, you have blown me away.  And you got to enjoy your time with the family.  I am so happy for you.  You got a bit of a window from all the debilitating symptoms.  

 

Have a good rest today - savour that gratitude, achievement and love for and from your family.

 

lots of love

 

Neroli 💜

[wantrelief]

I am so happy for you, Rabe!  What a testimony to your strength that you tried a second time and were able to make it....this is very inspirational!  

[Sheera]

Rabe—that is so wonderful that you had such a lovely window!!  I’m so glad that you’re cherishing the memory and able to be thankful for it. You are healing!  This is just a sign of how beautiful it will be when you are fully healed. Many hugs!

 

Sheera

[Rosetta]

I am so thrilled for you!!  Yes, rest and rest some more.  All my love, R

[Rabe]

@neroli @wantrelief @Sheera @Rosetta Thank you all so much for your kind words.  I was going to rest but snow is coming so I went for a walk and since then have not felt well...lots of anxiety and agitation and just like it took the wind right out of me.  Should have listened to myself...but the walk seemed so easy at the time and felt so good...only couple blocks.  It is like you said Sheera about not being able to do what you once did...not even a very little bit of it.  Oh well...yesterday is still shining. 😍

I think it was better yesterday because my youngest son was there...he does not judge...he is in AA and is very accepting and kind...I helped him through some very rough times and he is helping me and when I am around him it is easier...I dont feel like I have to be the mom or be perfect or do for him.  It just is.  I will miss him.  They are in DC and that is so hard as I know I will not be getting on a plane or traveling anytime soon so will be a long time before I see him again.  😢 So was very hard to say good bye.  He is so special and has a system like mine...doesnt quite work right and never has.  He had a stroke at age 25 and I think that threw him over the brink...but when he made his way back he just turned a corner and it has been so lovely to be here to see.  He is the one whose wedding I missed....but he accepts that as well.  

Well...thank you all again.  I keep you in my heart and prayers.  Blessings and hugs!💜

[Sheera]

Rabe—so glad you had good moments!  What a blessing to have an empathetic son—and one who has recovered from so much. He is an inspiration!  Cherish all those beautiful moments you had with him!!

 

hugs—Sheera

[Rabe]

I wanted to wish everyone a happy new year....may it bring light, hope, peace and healing to all!! 💜