Rabe: how to taper and adjust Viibryd while on Clonazepam

[manymoretodays]

16 hours ago, Rabe said:

@manymoretodays Thank you for that MMT.  Sorry bout that...I was talking about articles Shep had posted re effects of hyper nervous system and paradoxical reactions...like CL makes me more nervous in afternoon...and then I rambled I guess.

Thank you so much for your thoughts MMT as well as the information...I am truly grateful!  

I see the doctor Thursday and will ask him then.  Think will just switch to all new CL tonight as only have old capsules from when brass said they were out of range.  Figure might as well switch as take another of those.

Thanks again.  Hope things are good...soundske it.  I try to do yoga and meditation and get out as much as can...have started music since you mentioned that...thank you!  IDK...hard to settle sometimes.  Was good and then ate and took CL and sure dont feel well now.  I think need to take it alone...no food..and see how goes.  I tend to forget that as the afternoon dose has been a problem for awhile.  But then the V can be as well so that article helped in that the upended nervous system can react to lots.  Thanks MMT!

💜

 

Oh Rabe,

Please don't be so down on yourself.  Referring to......"and then I rambled I guess". 

 

Even though you might have been very disappointed that you could not get to the birthday party.........you ARE still making good progress.

 

And oh....this concerned me.  A response you made to Kristine......" I just dont have many days ahead of me and I get sad that so many special moments have already slipped by ."

Yes, I expect that you do feel sad from time to time.  You might have many days ahead of you though.......I mean I sure hope you do.  Can you do some of the simple things to help?  Mindfulness and Acceptance

"I always feel really good after meditating, but slip back when a negative event takes place." (taken from the first post in that topic)

Do you think this might be happening with you Rabe?

And then this classic: (just click the arrow on the right and it will take you to "Acknowledge, Accept, and Float")

Also there is a link at the end of the string, in that topic to some online CBT stuff to try.

 

And music......and nature!

 

And sounds good Rabe.  What you had written in your last post to me.

Hope today is a window for you!

Thanks.

L, P, H, and G,

mmt

 

 

Edited June 5, 2019 by manymoretodays

[Rabe]

PLEASE COULD SOMEONE HELP ME?  I accidentally took a Viibryd capsule in with the CLonazpam bit ago.  I dont know what to do.  I tried to throw up but couldn't.  I am so afraid!!!  I juset keep doing stupid things!!!

[Rabe]

Its ok...is what is.  If did this will get back on track tomorrow.  

[Rabe]

I find myself where I was oh so many years ago...there were no drugs, no tapering, no pills of any kind...just panic attacks that in short order were joined by agoraphobia, on going anxiety.  I remember driving for hours with panic attacks....and dealing with them daily until I simply did not have the capacity to do so....the hopelessness, and depression followed.  That is where I am...except older and less resilient I feel and very tired.

We tried every coping skill and mechanism and alternative treatment that was available at the time and none were effective.  After many drug trials that made me feel worse I finally reluctantly tried the benzo....and slowly over time opened the door to my cage, put one finger out, then a toe, then an arm, peeked, took a step out and in...it was a slow process...but over a long period of time I was able to trust, my confidence returned, and I had a lovely life with set backs after events, surgeries, births etc that shocked my system....but I felt like the birds I envied...I was able to fly.  

I now have been grounded again for 4 years.  Today I dont even want to try to go to my daughters after another  long panic attack driving back Monday...I am just too tired.  I rarely leave the apartment and eating is a challenge.  

I did get to the doctor yesterday.  I have the episode pen rx.  He says he wants to get rid of the benzo so that I can use a non pharmacological thing like valerian root to deal with the anxiety, panic, etc.  He says I dont have agoraphobia because I still get out at all.  I found myself looking from far away...thinking about the various things we tried all those years ago that made me feel worse or had no effect.  He asks me if I want to taper the Viibryd first and gives me an rx for 8.5mg if I decide that I do.  I wonder what HE feels is right and why...he is still working with the pharmacist on how to taper the CL in small amounts.  I drive back shaky, anxious and sad.  I eat a bit, try a walk at 8 and sit on the curb as my heart is skipping and Im tired.  But I did walk a mile through out the day.  Just eating is a chore and I feel again as if I am existing not living.  I talk to my daughter on her way home from work.  Today is their anniversary and they are taking Evie to his parents so they have a night to themselves and she will have a morning to herself.  My voice cracks and I tell her I love her and say good bye.

I feel the door to my cage has slammed shut and hope 'tomorrow' will be better...but tomorrow is here and I have no more ability to go visit than I did yesterday.  

I dont know how to get out of this maze anymore today then years ago.  It is hard to want to be if this is the way I am to be...its like a disease process that no one has answers for.  

[wantrelief]

1 hour ago, Rabe said:

less resilient I feel and very tired.

I know you feel that way, Rabe, but when I read about everything you are going through I think you are incredibly resilient. 

 

1 hour ago, Rabe said:

like a disease process that no one has answers for.  

It does feel that way, that we are navigating through something in which there are no clear answers which is incredibly challenging and difficult.

 

You are doing the best you can, Rabe, and I greatly admire your strength.  💗WR.

 

 

[Rosetta]

Hi Rabe, 

 

I wish I could make it all better.  All I can say is that I understand.  I don't want to say, "It will get better," because that doesn't really help even if it's true.  You have had so many issues lately, and the battle fatigue must be quite intense.  Please try to be your own best friend and talk to yourself the same way you would talk to a friend.  You are doing what you can when you can, and we all know you are trying as hard as you can.  You have permission to give yourself a break when you are not living up to your own expectations. 

 

This is an awful process, but your body is asking for a break, and it's ok to feel proud of yourself for listening to your body.  I think that we have such a hard time with this process because we expect too much of ourselves.  In my opinion, you are a heroine.  You are taking care of yourself, and no one is cooking for you or anything.  That's amazing to me.  I'm not sure that I would be that capable.  I tried to cook the other day, but I had to throw the food out.  It just wasn't right.  I cried, but oh well.  Maybe we can come out of this nightmare with more self-compassion.  I hope so.

 

I'm often thinking of you.  I forgot my password, and I was not able to get my SA account open because my device no longer supports my email account.  I usually leave myself signed in for a while, but if I clear my history then I am automatically signed out.  Clearing the history helps the device work better - more quickly. I cleared it because I wasn't able to even call up the site due to the fact that my history was too full.  After I cleared the history U couldn't sign in without my password.  So, I haven't been able to access SA for days.  I finally found a way to change my password.

 

Well, here's a virtual hug: ((((Rabe))))

 

Rosetta

[Rabe]

@Rosetta @wantrelief  Thank you for stopping...I will pop over to your threads and catch up.  Love nd hugs.💜

[Rabe]

On 6/4/2019 at 7:55 PM, Gridley said:

I do prayers/Light/meditation

Hi Gridley...thank you so much for stopping...sorry I missed this!  Could you share what you mean by you do 'Light'?  the others I do as well.  Thank you so much!💜

[Rabe]

@manymoretodays  I wanted to thank you for the things you forwarded from Chessiecat....I have been reading on the anxiety and panic..for me it is the panic that throws me.  As they have gotten more severe and more frequent the agoraphobia is back as well...didnt think would see it all again to this degree.

I juste appreciate the information, I know it takes time to do all that and I wanted you to know i means a lot!  And thank you for making them so easy to get to!  That is much appreciated as well!  

I took the script to the pharmacy today and they will have it ready tomorrow...for the epi pen.  I asked the doctor about why the CLonazepam and he said it is because the anxiety is starting up again harshly and would like to get off it so can start some other things to try to help it...he mentioned Valerian Root.  

He  said would like to not to pharma but if have to can...ah no.  After this I am sure not starting another!  DOnt you think?  He is working with a pharmacist on getting a liquid that would be affordable and easy to go down by .01mg at a time.  He said I would end up taking like 50ml of the solution initially and then reduce from there.  I cant remember all the details...he is still researching it anyway...Ill know more next time I guess.  

He gave me a script for 8.5 of the Viibryd if I want to reduce that.???  I sure wish he would take a bit of the lead and explain thoughts and reasoning behind things a but better.  I finally did say something and that is when he talked about the panic and all returning and thinking off the Clonazepam so can move on to something else.  

I am just about done with the crossover...started all new capsules yesterday?  I cant remember...or the day before.  Ini any case...Ill wait a few days to settle and then will post some journals for you and Shep?  Or just Shep?  Whatever you want MMT.  

Thank you again...I will keep reading that information.  I DO have a very sensitive nervous system...panic attacks run in my family...cousins, uncle, grandfather, mother, etc.  So IDK.  My grand daughter is VERY easily startled and frightened.  I hope it settles for her!  It is amazing to see it...I can remember when she was a baby how you could feel her relaxing.  She just seems to have to know what everything is and why...noises and all, even if she does know, are upsetting to her (unless she is making them!)😀

Hope things are going well for you MMT.  Take care! If you have thoughts on Viibryd or Clonazepam let me know.  Maybe after the journals?💜 

 

[Hibari]

On 6/7/2019 at 11:37 AM, Rabe said:

 

Dear Rabe,

 

I have felt the exact way you do many times on this journey.  I really understand.  

 

All I can say is that these medications really impact our ability to think and imagine the future. They often make me incredibly critical of of myself when others would see me differently.  On top of that, we are slammed on the physical level as well. 

 

You are taking actions daily and weekly to care for yourself. Please try to be kind to yourself as much as possible, because you deserve it.  

 

Hibari. 

[Gridley]

16 hours ago, Rabe said:

Could you share what you mean by you do 'Light'?

Asking for the Light is just another way ask God for help, or another way to pray.  For example, I often say, "I'd like to place all SA participants in the highest Light of God for the highest good of all concerned" and I just let it go and the Light/God do it.   You can place people or situations in the Light really quickly, like saying or thinking, "Light in that situation for the highest good."   

[Rabe]

@Gridley Thank you Gridley...I like that.💜

[Rabe]

@Hibari Thank you so much Hibari.  I am so grateful you are feeling better and able to start dealing with your CLonazepam.  I know that has been such a concern for you.  

Yes, I am critical...mostly just a fish out of water here, cannot get home right now.  I think I would be happy closer to family if I were more mobile and able to live life with them.  I could get home and see friends there and still be here.  But that is not happening right now.  I did get out for a short walk and an errand today so that was good..I say that but it feels like I am doing nothing all the time which is hard.  

I hope you are doing ok still?  Love and hugs to you Hibari my dear friend!!💜

 

[Hibari]

I'm trying Rabe. I know that Clonzapam causes depression even though it "promises" to ease anxiety.  

 

That's what I mean by critical. I have been more critical of myself since being on Clonazepam than ever before.  

 

I understand your longing to be with family and families routines.  I too have lost much of my previous life in the past 8 months.  I am making incremental progress but deal with a lot of fear as well.  

 

Wishing us both ease and healing for the near future.  

 

Hibari 

[Rabe]

@Hibari So you feel the Clonazepam is causing that change in you?  

Hoping the progress continues Hibari. 💜

[Hibari]

1 hour ago, Rabe said:

@Hibari So you feel the Clonazepam is causing that change in you?  

Hoping the progress continues Hibari. 💜

I do.  Not that I was feeling great after having to jump from Lamictal at too high a dose. 

 

But I do feel that Clonzapam is causing some depression and for me that can turn into despair,  self-criticism and a high level of fear.  Tje fear makes it hard for me to get out as well.  I know its medication fear but when I feel shaky and foggy brained, it's hard to navigate the world.  

 

I also have started to have interdose withdrawal, so I'm working on spreading out my doses.  I'm hoping that will even out my moods more.  

 

 

H

 

 

 

 

[Rosetta]

Rabe,

 

You are so amazing.  I know you feel pretty awful, but you continue to put so much effort into caring for others.  Your kindness and support to your friends here is always inspirational.  Thank you for being my friend.

 

Rosetta

[Carmie]

Hi Rabe, 

 

Thanks for dropping around to my thread, sending hugs🤗

[manymoretodays]

On 6/7/2019 at 11:10 PM, Rabe said:

@manymoretodays  I wanted to thank you for the things you forwarded from Chessiecat....I have been reading on the anxiety and panic..for me it is the panic that throws me.  As they have gotten more severe and more frequent the agoraphobia is back as well...didnt think would see it all again to this degree.

I juste appreciate the information, I know it takes time to do all that and I wanted you to know i means a lot!  And thank you for making them so easy to get to!  That is much appreciated as well!  

I took the script to the pharmacy today and they will have it ready tomorrow...for the epi pen.  I asked the doctor about why the CLonazepam and he said it is because the anxiety is starting up again harshly and would like to get off it so can start some other things to try to help it...he mentioned Valerian Root.  

He  said would like to not to pharma but if have to can...ah no.  After this I am sure not starting another!  DOnt you think?  He is working with a pharmacist on getting a liquid that would be affordable and easy to go down by .01mg at a time.  He said I would end up taking like 50ml of the solution initially and then reduce from there.  I cant remember all the details...he is still researching it anyway...Ill know more next time I guess.  

He gave me a script for 8.5 of the Viibryd if I want to reduce that.???  I sure wish he would take a bit of the lead and explain thoughts and reasoning behind things a but better.  I finally did say something and that is when he talked about the panic and all returning and thinking off the Clonazepam so can move on to something else.  

I am just about done with the crossover...started all new capsules yesterday?  I cant remember...or the day before.  Ini any case...Ill wait a few days to settle and then will post some journals for you and Shep?  Or just Shep?  Whatever you want MMT.  

Thank you again...I will keep reading that information.  I DO have a very sensitive nervous system...panic attacks run in my family...cousins, uncle, grandfather, mother, etc.  So IDK.  My grand daughter is VERY easily startled and frightened.  I hope it settles for her!  It is amazing to see it...I can remember when she was a baby how you could feel her relaxing.  She just seems to have to know what everything is and why...noises and all, even if she does know, are upsetting to her (unless she is making them!)😀

Hope things are going well for you MMT.  Take care! If you have thoughts on Viibryd or Clonazepam let me know.  Maybe after the journals?💜 

 

 

Hi Rabe,

You're doing some great work with your emotions and all, in that other post.  Yay!

 

And okay, good, good too on getting the epi pen!

What do you think?  Is the anxiety worse, or starting up harshly........in comparison to other times?  And how do feel about getting off the clonazepam first, rather than Viibryd?

I'm prone to think that, at least getting the Viibryd to a lower dose, might be good, before beginning any taper of clonazepam.   Or maybe alternating tapers.  Doing a bit of Viibryd and then a bit of clonazepam, at different times.   

So.....a further reduction to 8.5 mg of the Viibryd sounds reasonable.

 

Maybe you can talk with him more.....to feel like you are both understood, at the next appointment.

 

I think, yes, get a few days of simple symptom and drug logs posted over on your benzo thread next. 

 

And oh, your grand daughter sounds just precious.  Is your daughter having concerns around her at this time?  If so, a good pediatrician is well.......a really good thing.  Perhaps it's time for a Well Baby Check soon too.  If not, she could go on in and discuss issues she has concerns with.  I don't know.......sometimes sensitive nervous systems can be an asset too, or a gift of sorts.  And then babies and children so easily pick up on their parents stressors, or anxieties/fears too.  That's why I think maybe just spending time together, with your daughter and granddaughter.......just learning to be each others calming, kind, caring presences would be cool.  Without the stress of big events and stuff.  I'm sure it's so hard Rabe, to keep feeling like you are missing out on so much.  Just don't get stuck in thinking that this is how it always will be.  Change is inevitable.  You can count on it.  Let's count on some good change and some further healing for you.

 

And okay, hope I got to it all. 

 

Love, peace, healing, and growth,

mmt

[manymoretodays]

And yay.....we have a topic on Valerian root.

If I were you, for right now, I sure wouldn't be messing with plant based supplements.  Not while you are so sensitive.  Not for a while or for a long time.

Let's read through the topic though, on Valerian root, and just get further informed.

Edited June 9, 2019 by manymoretodays

[Rabe]

@manymoretodays Hi MMT..thank you for the post on V Root.  I am thinking I tried that way back and didnt do well with it.

After the Clonazepam last night I really felt and looked awful.  I had sat in the sun a bit and walked in the day, but I sure didnt expect that.  And I was so anxious after taking it though it makes me dizzy in a way too. IDK...felt quite awful today as well until about 430...still so tired and all but no so sick.

SO maybe getting it down is good idea...IDK.  I have no clue.  Just concerning when is that harsh a reaction.  But oh well.

I will post some logs on benzo thread.  

I would love t spend time with them MMT...but I am having such a hard time eating and getting out that I cant get over there right now and today sure want up to seeing anyone...they have colds anyway.  Yes, praying things improve.  Eyes and face have been swelling all day.  IDK...trouble eating...

could I try some  Claritin.?

 

[manymoretodays]

19 hours ago, Rabe said:

could I try some  Claritin.?

Did you get a chance to look at antihistamines for withdrawal insomnia

On the second page I found a lot of information that might help you make that decision.

Claritin/loratadine is one of the second generation antihistamines.  It also is processed by the CYP enzymes and another agonist of H1.

And....it may not help with the facial swelling.

 

Why are you considering Claritin? 

 

I'm feeling fairly uneasy about having you add anything at all.

 

Rabe,

How long ago was the sodium(Na) problem?  You had stated going to the ER and finding that your sodium was off.  Was it high or low?

Thanks.

Edited June 10, 2019 by manymoretodays

[Rabe]

@manymoretodays  Hi MMT..

I didn't see anything about Claritin specifically...maybe I missed it.  Reason I said Claritin is cause I have taken it on and off in the past for allergies.  Never consistently and sometimes only half of one.  Just trying to calm the allergic stuff.  

7 hours ago, manymoretodays said:

I'm feeling fairly uneasy about having you add anything at all.

Ill trust that....I can just wait and see how things go.  Just this reacting gets unnerving sometimes.

 

7 hours ago, manymoretodays said:

Rabe,

How long ago was the sodium(Na) problem?  You had stated going to the ER and finding that your sodium was off.  Was it high or low?

It was low after the GI thing...makes sense cause of all prep.  But was low Jun 2017, Oct 2017, Feb 2018, Feb 2019 9Gi) for the month, May 2019. Never high.

[Rabe]

So I saw my new PCP today who I have seen before and since there were no overt allergies she feels that I need to go inpatient to address this 'eating disorder' I have and to address my anxiety...she said I cant keep going like this and need a controlled setting to manage this and wanted me to call them today.  The nurse called them and they wanted me to come in today and I said no cause had appt...which did with therapist.

Gratefully the therapist (haven't see her since GI craziness in Feb) said her family has allergies like mine...the fruit thing can be a crossover to pollens etc...and they just have tp avoid fruit in the warm months.  She said much is due to my revved up system as we all know.  She suggested a dietician, holistic dr she is going to look into, aloe vera for the GI stuff (helps with inflammation?), and some breathing things etc.  She also did the lights thing..the acupuncture with lights...but got a crystal instead of a light for me which is gentler I guess.  I did it and it was activating so she did a quartz one and it settled things down and seems ok now.  

Hard when people keep trying the same thing over and over thinking it is going to be different.  But at least she had some good thoughts and I am NOT going inpatient just because the allergist found no true allergies....but i was believing her before went to therapist.  Left there in tears and ready to admit myself for being just crazy.  UGH!!!  

[wantrelief]

1 hour ago, Rabe said:

since there were no overt allergies she feels that I need to go inpatient to address this 'eating disorder' I have and to address my anxiety

I am so sorry you were treated this way, Rabe.  This just does not make any sense and makes me so angry.  I am really glad you happened to see your therapist after that awful appointment and had a more compassionate response to what you are going through. I really wish I could give you a big hug. 💖

[Rosetta]

Me, too!! Grrrrr!  Inpatient?  I'm beginning to wonder what kind of insurance people have with so many inpatient issues.  Who can pay for that?  What happens when people have no insurance or crummy insurance?  No inpatient stays, I am sure of that, even if they need one.  Rushing you into it like that?  That concerns me.  What is your weight?  Are you dangerously thin?  Is there any good reason for her reaction?  I'm glad your therapist does not think that was reasonable.  Please don't let anyone take you inpatient without posting here first?  Let someone help you carefully consider something like that, Rabe.  It shouldn't be this way, but inpatient facilities are a very dangerous places for or people on benzos and ADs.  I'm so glad you are ok.  Maybe we need to help you eat better.  What do you think?  I'm wondering what you said to her.  Does her opinion have something to do with electrolytes or is it just weight?  Did she say?

[Rabe]

@wantrelief Thank you WR for your support and thoughts.  I was SO taken off guard and upset that now my stomach really is upset.  Oh well...things will settle.  Hope your taper is still going ok!  Love and hugs!  💜

[manymoretodays]

3 hours ago, Rabe said:

@manymoretodays  Hi MMT..

I didn't see anything about Claritin specifically...maybe I missed it.  Reason I said Claritin is cause I have taken it on and off in the past for allergies.  Never consistently and sometimes only half of one.  Just trying to calm the allergic stuff.  

Ill trust that....I can just wait and see how things go.  Just this reacting gets unnerving sometimes.

 

It was low after the GI thing...makes sense cause of all prep.  But was low Jun 2017, Oct 2017, Feb 2018, Feb 2019 9Gi) for the month, May 2019. Never high.

 

Yes.  Of course.  All the reacting gets unnerving.  I just found more on the 2nd generation, less sedating antihistamines, starting here, with this post, in the

Antihistamines for withdrawal insomnia topic.  And then I read further in the links.  Claritin/loratadine is one, in the 2nd generation class.

And good then too.  That you did not react to it in the past.  If you do decide to try it.......start way low.

I'm glad you feel okay about just waiting to see how things go.....for now.

 

And oof Rabe.   On your PCP appointment.  That sounds just awful. 

I agree with the others who posted.  And am so glad your therapist was supportive.

Was there any rhyme or reason for your PCP to want you to go inpatient?  Rosetta's questions were good.

 

Oh Rabe.  ((((((Rabe))))))

You are a trooper!

L, P, H, and G,

mmt 

Edited June 11, 2019 by manymoretodays

[Rabe]

@Rosetta Hi Rosetta,

I went to see her as followup to allergist.  I wanted to get a dissolving potassium tablet so I could dissolve it in liquid and just sip it throughout the day.  With that she jumped to 'that is not normal', pointing to my water bottles with a 'C' and an 'S' for coconut water and salt.  She said I need to get my nutrients from food.  She then brought up a list of high potassium foods...like I dont know it by heart.  The kidney doctor had no problem with the coconut water etc.!!!   My weight is stable...I am thin but stable.  I would like to gain 5 pounds or more, but on the other hand I have no muscles much anymore either as is so hard to exercise with my system as it is.  A block walk or so is all I can mange usually and if I push I pay for it next day.  And I work on eating.  

My son just had a GI procedure and said after fasting for it he felt the best he has in years!  He has my system and he gets it, but few people do.  Doctors are so rigid...if you aren't in the medical books then you need 'other' help.

I am too honest however.  She said you cant keep doing this (meaning taper the meds and then get thrown again and unable to eat and all)  You need to get help for your anxiety and eating in a stable setting. It isn't that she isn't right...but you and I both know more meds is not the answer...especially at this point.  I was so scared, given my experience inpatient thus far, that I got teary.  She asked me if I was suicidal and I said no...I said I dont want to live like this and I dont want to hurt my family and all and there are times when I would like not to live like this (especially with the tapers and stressors) but when she asked if it is active or passive I said passive...I should have just said no...but I was crying, startled and not thinking well.  They actually called the place and they wanted me to go today!  I said no I have an appt....thank God for my therapy appt and what she said!!  

And I have no insurance to pay for it.  I asked her which program was best and she said whichever one your insurance will cover. 😳Ive alreay spent a ton of money here and I am no better than when I was at home closer to support.  

Yes any help with food is appreciated.  I think she was thinking overall...nutrients, weight, electrolytes, well being, anxiety...i really dont know except that she doesnt know what to do and that is ok.  No one else along the way has either so I get it.  She juset feels I cant keep having my system jolted over and over which has some truth to it.

Thank you, Rosetta...I am so grateful for you!!  I hope your good days continue!!! Love and hugs to you my dear friend!!💜

 

[Rabe]

@manymoretodays Thank yuo MMT...if you could read the above post?  Has most everything in it.  I will read the information again.  I would definitely take just a small bite...but right now Im going to just not add anything.  Thank you again!!💜

[neroli]

Hello dear Rabe

 

Oh, that medical system is putting you through the mill again!  You did so well to avoid going as an inpatient and it was great that your therapist helped with useful information.

 

I notice you are close to completing your cross-over (I think that's the Clonazepam) - good stuff, will be one less thing to think about and hopefully no added ill effects.

 

You are amazing - you are keeping up with many complexities and managing to cope, somehow. I do hope you can get some of the food stuff sorted so you can eat a bit.

 

Warmest of wishes to you, PF

 

Neroli 💜

[Rosetta]

Mmm well, at least she cares.  It may have been a little reactionary, but she was trying to help.  It seems to me you are managing well, and if you said you are holding on by a thread I can see how she might be thinking that she wasn't able to help you outpatient.  She doesn't understand what is happening to you the way you yourself understands.  I'm sure she does not know that inpatient care can make your condition worse, of course.   

 

That said, it's so frustrating that we have to protect ourselves from doctors.  It's sounds like your therapist starting to understand.  

 

Oh,hang in there.  Once your body settles from the cross over you might feel muchbetter!

 

All my love,Rosetta

[manymoretodays]

Hi Rabe,

Yes.  I read your post to Rosetta.

You had some great points there.  Very good.

 

Good logs too, over on the benzo forum.

 

And fingers and toes crossed that today was a better one.

L, P, H, and G,

mmt

[Rabe]

Today was such an awful day again...I am getting so weary.  I felt ok in am....then after V and food I started feeling not well.  At about 3 I had such a crazy spell...thought was going to faint.  Just felt sick and anxious and depressed reset of day.  Hardly got groceries.  IDK. Love and hug to all.💜

[Rabe]

It has been a month and a half since I started the crossover on 4/22 and I made the last change to all new capsules on 7/5.  Hoping that is part of it...IDK.  Its different...just different.  But would be nice if that was it.  I do feel very juste sick...so maybe is crossover.

[Rosetta]

I'm sorry, Rabe.  I'm glad you did get the groceries.  (((Rabe)))