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Bkbk: My story


Bkbk

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Hi , 

 

I would like to tell my story.. Ok so around 4 years ago I was put on Effexor 15mg( sorry about my spelling )  this was the start of my struggle to stay alive, these meds were prescribed from a local doctor.... I had been living in remote areas of Australia living & working as a landscaper with my wife, we did this for 6 years, it was fun, iteresting etc but i took on too much and over worked myself, so we decided to move back to my hometown for a six month break and go from there.

 

Once we got back a very close mate committed suicide, it really affected me and drove me into deep deppression, i just couldnt feel good anymore, i knew it was time to go back to work but i just couldnt find the motivation.. So i went to

see the "professionals" to get some help, i specifically asked not to put me on zombie meds as i needed to function.. He gave me effixor 15mg told me its very mild and that he gives it ladys with menopause to treat hot flushes, I thought  ok that sounds good i'll try it.

 

They worked for around 3- 4 weeks, got me up and smiling again, i stayed on these for 6 months. Most days i felt sick in the stomach, they worked like speed, couldn't eat, couldn't sleep, but lots of energy.. I started smoking alot of pot ( Cannabis) to be able to sleep and eat, its the only thing that made me feel better.

 

This all came to a head and the meltdown occured like i knew it would ( brains need sleep) i was recommended by a family member to swap to lexipro, it seemed to be working wonders for her.. So i went back to a different Gp and just asked to be swapped to  Lexipro 15mg . Again these worked for awhile but i could feel the side affects like rashes, no sleep, dizzyness, still couldn't eat much at all, i knew this wouldnt last long, i became sucicidal, i didnt want to live , i fought with my wife, smashed furniture etc etc i was knucking futs....

 

Almost like it was a sign from the universe for me not to just give up, after six years of trying my wife fell pregnant with our baby boy Tom : ) he has kept me alive i believe. So i thought i'd better go and see the "professionals" ( we had moved to a smaller country town for me to heal myself) i called the mental health line and booked in to see a psychiatrist so they could help me get off this poison running through me, he was a nice guy we talked surfing, got into a few things about my past etc etc ..

 

He took me off lexipro after 2 years on it in 3 days and put me on 15mg Mertazapine.. I lost my mind ! Went totally insane thought of killing myself, ways to do it etc , i hurt my wife and blammed her for evrything ever ! She is a good egg & lucky for me she could see it wasnt me it was the drugs i was on from so called medical "professionals" . everytime id go back to see the psych he put me up 15mg of mertazapine i ended up on 45mg . It makes me feel like a zombie , but really helps with sleep..

 

i was lost , the professionals didn't seem to care much just said here have some more  ( do i look like oliver twist lol ) .. by chance i came accross a post on facebook for metal health week saying "lets spare a thought for all those wrongly diagnosed people living though drug side affects but told by proffessionals that they have a chemical inbalance and only these pills will help" it was written alot better than that but thats the general gist of it . I private msg'd him, he is a psycologist and has helped 1000's of people, wrongly diagnosed by doctors, given these pills with the promise of " feeling better" .. He lent me a book by Dr James Breggin " the antidepressant fact book ( if you are on meds read this book ! ) i was also informed that there is a test that really should be on the parma benifits scheme, it tests the liver to see how your body will react to psyciatric drugs, these should be mandatory before being aloud to go on these very heavy drugs.

 

so ive tapered down to 30mg mertazapine, going down by 7.5mg from 45mg ..first drop was ok i did it in 10 days , second drop was hard and anxiety kicked in so i have stopped on 30 mg for now and intend to taper until i rid my body from this poison. 

 

Thanks for reading ✌🏻️

Edited by Altostrata
added paragraph spacing

3.5 years ago started on 45 mg efixor for 6 months then 

went onto Lexipro 10mg then up to 45mg

then mertazipine 15mg up to 30mg then 45mg, have dropped to 30mg and thats what im on now. 

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  • ChessieCat changed the title to Bkbk: My story
  • Administrator

Welcome, Bkbk.

 

How are you feeling now?

 

Yours is a familiar story, please don't blame yourself. It's very unfortunate that none of your doctors recognized that you were suffering adverse effects from those drugs.

 

Good idea to stop tapering mirtazapine for a while. Here is our topic Tips for tapering off Remeron (mirtazapine)

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Thanks altostrata : ) 

 

im feeling ok for now but seem to get tired very easily, from doing very little, all i want is to get back to being myself , i was a happy guy, im a gardener, so the rage is very unlike me. Just want to be happy again. I went to another psychiatrist today, i told him my story and as i expected he said i need more drugs.. Its almost like the books they learn from are written by the drug companys, who knows ? 

 

I have an appointment with a Gp tomorrow afternoon, im going to get a referral for cognative therapy, i'll see how it go's & will put details here. 

 

thank you for your reply 🖖🏻  

3.5 years ago started on 45 mg efixor for 6 months then 

went onto Lexipro 10mg then up to 45mg

then mertazipine 15mg up to 30mg then 45mg, have dropped to 30mg and thats what im on now. 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi Bkbk and welcome from me too.

 

28 minutes ago, Bkbk said:

Its almost like the books they learn from are written by the drug companys, who knows ?

 

This is much closer to the truth that what you may think.    Gwen Olsen was a pharmaceutical drug representative for 15 years.  This is an eye opener:

 

Interview:  Confessions of an Rx Drug Pusher (51 minutes Gwen Olsen - ex pharmaceutical representative)

 

Video:  Ex-Big Pharma Rep:  We’re Trained To Misinform -The Drugs ARE Dangerous (6 minute video)

 MISSION ACCOMPLISHED:    13 November 2021 -  0mg Pristiq      

Woohoo!!!  Finally off Pristiq   

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021   LAST DOSE 0.0025mg

My full tapering program     My Intro (goes to my tapering graph)    My website

PLEASE NOTE:  I am not a medical professional.  I provide information and make suggestions.  I do not provide tapering advice via PM.  Please post questions in your Introduction topic.  Please do not tag me for any reason.  I am an unpaid volunteer and assist members if I am able to and when I have the time.  Thank you for your understanding.

Mid Nov 2021 changed to low carb diet due to diabetes & cholesterol.  Lost 1/16 body weight, BP has reduced a lot. 

Links to my exercises and weights.  I also do 3 x 5.5 min with HIIT on exercise bike with 20 secs/min as fast as I can cycle.

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1 hour ago, ChessieCat said:

Hi Bkbk and welcome from me too.

 

 

This is much closer to the truth that what you may think.    Gwen Olsen was a pharmaceutical drug representative for 15 years.  This is an eye opener:

 

Interview:  Confessions of an Rx Drug Pusher (51 minutes Gwen Olsen - ex pharmaceutical representative)

 

Video:  Ex-Big Pharma Rep:  We’re Trained To Misinform -The Drugs ARE Dangerous (6 minute video)

Thanks for the links, much appreciated ! 

3.5 years ago started on 45 mg efixor for 6 months then 

went onto Lexipro 10mg then up to 45mg

then mertazipine 15mg up to 30mg then 45mg, have dropped to 30mg and thats what im on now. 

Link to comment
3 hours ago, Bkbk said:

 

im feeling ok for now but seem to get tired very easily, from doing very little, all i want is to get back to being myself , i was a happy guy, im a gardener, so the rage is very unlike me.

 

I don't how many here can relate to this.

I totally  know what the rage is. I was a student who never had school violence , advised people to make peace ..  learnt it in 23 yrs .. Lost all in 2.5 yrs. Did stupid things over super stupid issues.

 

 

The rage is getting down now. 

So there is definite hope after meds.

And this is the best place( atleast for me)

08/13 - 01/14
Olanzapine, petril MD (Clonazepam ), Dicorate ER (divalproex). Soza 10 (Zolpidem)

02/14 - 05/14
Flunil ​20mg , Divaa OD 250 mg(divalproex), Amisulpride 50mg (1-0-2), zolfresh 5 mg , Quetiapine
05/14 - 08/14 Venlafaxine 75 xr ( 1-0-1), zapiz 0.25
10/14 Zaptra 12.5mg , Oxetol xr 150mg (0-0-1)
11/14 - 08/15
Paris CR 25 (paroxetine) , Oxetol xr 600 mg (0-0-1), nitrest 5mg , Quetiapine for a month.
09/15-11 Venlafaxine XR 75 ( 1-0-1), Mirtazipine 15, Respiredal 0.5, Lamitor 25, zillion 10.
12/15-02/16 Off Meds (C.T)

03/16-Mid April Sertraline, Aripropazole, Quetiapine, Etizolam.

After that : CT and on OTC supplements (Roadback), now on Ayurveda
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13 hours ago, bhasski said:

 

I don't how many here can relate to this.

I totally  know what the rage is. I was a student who never had school violence , advised people to make peace ..  learnt it in 23 yrs .. Lost all in 2.5 yrs. Did stupid things over super stupid issues.

 

 

The rage is getting down now. 

So there is definite hope after meds.

And this is the best place( atleast for me)

Bhasski, it is funny how the drugs change our personality. I have also never known what is violence. And when I see sometimes my thoughts now, especially intrusive thoughts (never had them before) then I want to cry. Life and so much time wasted for nothing, for someone's greed.

05/2013 Lyrica 100 mg / per day for pain + PGAD resulting from caesarian delivery11/2014 started to taper: 50 mg per day/ for one week then c/tafter one month reinstated at 50 mg /per days of 10 July 2015 drug free-

symptoms OCD

Link to comment

08/13 - 01/14
Olanzapine, petril MD (Clonazepam ), Dicorate ER (divalproex). Soza 10 (Zolpidem)

02/14 - 05/14
Flunil ​20mg , Divaa OD 250 mg(divalproex), Amisulpride 50mg (1-0-2), zolfresh 5 mg , Quetiapine
05/14 - 08/14 Venlafaxine 75 xr ( 1-0-1), zapiz 0.25
10/14 Zaptra 12.5mg , Oxetol xr 150mg (0-0-1)
11/14 - 08/15
Paris CR 25 (paroxetine) , Oxetol xr 600 mg (0-0-1), nitrest 5mg , Quetiapine for a month.
09/15-11 Venlafaxine XR 75 ( 1-0-1), Mirtazipine 15, Respiredal 0.5, Lamitor 25, zillion 10.
12/15-02/16 Off Meds (C.T)

03/16-Mid April Sertraline, Aripropazole, Quetiapine, Etizolam.

After that : CT and on OTC supplements (Roadback), now on Ayurveda
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2 hours ago, bhasski said:

Super! This can not happen here, unfortunately. It seems that even in India they are democratically on higher level than in Austria.

05/2013 Lyrica 100 mg / per day for pain + PGAD resulting from caesarian delivery11/2014 started to taper: 50 mg per day/ for one week then c/tafter one month reinstated at 50 mg /per days of 10 July 2015 drug free-

symptoms OCD

Link to comment
On 16 January 2018 at 6:59 PM, bhasski said:

 

I don't how many here can relate to this.

I totally  know what the rage is. I was a student who never had school violence , advised people to make peace ..  learnt it in 23 yrs .. Lost all in 2.5 yrs. Did stupid things over super stupid issues.

 

 

The rage is getting down now. 

So there is definite hope after meds.

And this is the best place( atleast for me)

Thanks bhasski, yes the rage is a very real side effect of these terrible drugs, I was told only yesterday after telling the psych that i will not take anymore drugs that my rage is a sign of deppresion and i should look into trying " something else that will work " pffft ...liars or just plain brainwashed i dont know anymore, but ive had enough of these so called professionals, im looking into other avenues for help. 

3.5 years ago started on 45 mg efixor for 6 months then 

went onto Lexipro 10mg then up to 45mg

then mertazipine 15mg up to 30mg then 45mg, have dropped to 30mg and thats what im on now. 

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So today i went to see a Gp and he was on board with how bad these drugs can affect people, its refreshing hearing it for a change, everyone so far has said the side affects were all me and the drugs are correcting what my brain lacks .. ( whatever trevor ! 😂 ) im trying to keep my spirits up. I miss the old me so does my wife. I have started a new mental health plan which will kick off in a few weeks, going to get Cognative  Therapy & get blood tests done to see what im lacking in and slowly start building my body up again.. 

 

i also rang the mental health line today and asked if there is anyone else to see that isn't a drug pusher, was told No he's the only option, she also said you'd better calm down you dont want to end up in our Unit, to which i replied good luck keeping me there, she said its sounds to me like you might need to try something different, i said what a load of crap ( this is a lady who had spoken to me for 5 minutes and for the first time and she would quite happily put me on more meds... To say the system if flawed would be a very nice way of putting it . 

 

I feel like i want to tell the world of these injustices happening daily to ordinary humans.. But who's going to believe an angry mental patient .. Its the perfect scam .. Well played drug companys well played, but you will not poison this little black duck anymore. 

 

Stay tuned for the next thrilling episode of bkbk says No to drugs 😂 

 

✌🏻️ 

3.5 years ago started on 45 mg efixor for 6 months then 

went onto Lexipro 10mg then up to 45mg

then mertazipine 15mg up to 30mg then 45mg, have dropped to 30mg and thats what im on now. 

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  • 5 months later...

Hi everybody, so i failed my attempt at tapering of mertazapine, im at a loss im over this crap but cant seem to kick it, i hate these people for doing this to me . You know all my life i dabbled in drugs, mainly alcohol but also enjoyed mdma for awhile in my twentys & pot has been a staple relaxant for years, not once did i ever feel as bad as i do with this frickin poison . Who's accountable ? These drug pushers have ruined my life, ive lost my business, nearly lost my family i havent worked in 3 years i just cant bring myself to fail again, im not coping and no one seems to give a **** .

3.5 years ago started on 45 mg efixor for 6 months then 

went onto Lexipro 10mg then up to 45mg

then mertazipine 15mg up to 30mg then 45mg, have dropped to 30mg and thats what im on now. 

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I tried to join a few facebook groups,  they were good a few good people offered their support & that was good, i just dont feel safe talking to people on fb i dont trust the privacy.. If you guys read this thanks 

3.5 years ago started on 45 mg efixor for 6 months then 

went onto Lexipro 10mg then up to 45mg

then mertazipine 15mg up to 30mg then 45mg, have dropped to 30mg and thats what im on now. 

Link to comment
26 minutes ago, Bkbk said:

Hi everybody, so i failed my attempt at tapering of mertazapine, im at a loss im over this crap but cant seem to kick it, i hate these people for doing this to me . You know all my life i dabbled in drugs, mainly alcohol but also enjoyed mdma for awhile in my twentys & pot has been a staple relaxant for years, not once did i ever feel as bad as i do with this frickin poison . Who's accountable ? These drug pushers have ruined my life, ive lost my business, nearly lost my family i havent worked in 3 years i just cant bring myself to fail again, im not coping and no one seems to give a **** .

Bkbk, calm down, you will kick it.

05/2013 Lyrica 100 mg / per day for pain + PGAD resulting from caesarian delivery11/2014 started to taper: 50 mg per day/ for one week then c/tafter one month reinstated at 50 mg /per days of 10 July 2015 drug free-

symptoms OCD

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I really dont know what to do im an angry man & i hate it i cant go on much longer no one cares

3.5 years ago started on 45 mg efixor for 6 months then 

went onto Lexipro 10mg then up to 45mg

then mertazipine 15mg up to 30mg then 45mg, have dropped to 30mg and thats what im on now. 

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1 minute ago, Martina23 said:

Bkbk, calm down, you will kick it.

Thanks Martina : ) i hope so 

3.5 years ago started on 45 mg efixor for 6 months then 

went onto Lexipro 10mg then up to 45mg

then mertazipine 15mg up to 30mg then 45mg, have dropped to 30mg and thats what im on now. 

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You have to tell yourself that you have always lived drug free and there is no alternative for you, you will manage it, you will taper off of it and you will live drug free as you always lived. You have to believe on it without any doubt. "Now came your day to show that you can do it and you will do it without any doubts. 

05/2013 Lyrica 100 mg / per day for pain + PGAD resulting from caesarian delivery11/2014 started to taper: 50 mg per day/ for one week then c/tafter one month reinstated at 50 mg /per days of 10 July 2015 drug free-

symptoms OCD

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I dont do drugs or alcohol anymore, only the doctors poison pills, they have turned me into a man im not very proud of. i read the storys of other people & realise that im not that bad, i feel for the people that are on multiple poison pills & still manage to function in this crazy society, it must be tough. I am sorry to whinge about my situation, i have just found this to be the only support out there, doctors dont care, my family are over it, its basically up to me to figure out & somtimes thats not easy. 🖖🏻  

3.5 years ago started on 45 mg efixor for 6 months then 

went onto Lexipro 10mg then up to 45mg

then mertazipine 15mg up to 30mg then 45mg, have dropped to 30mg and thats what im on now. 

Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi Bkbk,

 

Please create your drug signature.  Dates, ALL drugs, doses - no symptoms or diagnoses.  This way members and mods will be able to see your drug history at a glance whenever you post.  Thank you.  Account Settings – Create or Edit a signature

 MISSION ACCOMPLISHED:    13 November 2021 -  0mg Pristiq      

Woohoo!!!  Finally off Pristiq   

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021   LAST DOSE 0.0025mg

My full tapering program     My Intro (goes to my tapering graph)    My website

PLEASE NOTE:  I am not a medical professional.  I provide information and make suggestions.  I do not provide tapering advice via PM.  Please post questions in your Introduction topic.  Please do not tag me for any reason.  I am an unpaid volunteer and assist members if I am able to and when I have the time.  Thank you for your understanding.

Mid Nov 2021 changed to low carb diet due to diabetes & cholesterol.  Lost 1/16 body weight, BP has reduced a lot. 

Links to my exercises and weights.  I also do 3 x 5.5 min with HIIT on exercise bike with 20 secs/min as fast as I can cycle.

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I dont know dates sorry, thanks anyway

3.5 years ago started on 45 mg efixor for 6 months then 

went onto Lexipro 10mg then up to 45mg

then mertazipine 15mg up to 30mg then 45mg, have dropped to 30mg and thats what im on now. 

Link to comment
  • 4 weeks later...

Hi, any tips on how to get through to a doctor that i need to do the 10% drop so i have minimal side effects ? I have been to four doctors and they said to just drop down to 15mg, thats a 50% drop, i have tried this with very bad side effects, they dont want to listen at all. I want to drop from 30mg down to 27mg and down by 3 mg each time, the compounding chemist in my area said they can do it but i will need to get a script from a Gp, thats the problem the doctors wont listen to me and tell me to either just go off them or to go down to 15mg, im at a loss here i really want to start the process, but it seems the doctors wont help. I live in a rural area and doctors are very hard to find that bulk bill, i need a bulk billing doctor as i havent worked in 3 & a half years due to this medication and it seems im running out of options. Help ! Please !! 

3.5 years ago started on 45 mg efixor for 6 months then 

went onto Lexipro 10mg then up to 45mg

then mertazipine 15mg up to 30mg then 45mg, have dropped to 30mg and thats what im on now. 

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Anyone ? 

3.5 years ago started on 45 mg efixor for 6 months then 

went onto Lexipro 10mg then up to 45mg

then mertazipine 15mg up to 30mg then 45mg, have dropped to 30mg and thats what im on now. 

Link to comment

Wow! Thanks guys for all the help, thought this was a place to come for people struggling to get off meds,im obviously not on enough for it to matter.. I wish everyone luck hope you get the help you need and want ✌🏻

3.5 years ago started on 45 mg efixor for 6 months then 

went onto Lexipro 10mg then up to 45mg

then mertazipine 15mg up to 30mg then 45mg, have dropped to 30mg and thats what im on now. 

Link to comment

What a joke! 

3.5 years ago started on 45 mg efixor for 6 months then 

went onto Lexipro 10mg then up to 45mg

then mertazipine 15mg up to 30mg then 45mg, have dropped to 30mg and thats what im on now. 

Link to comment

be patient-im learning this-im eager to get off too.i cold turkey after 3 weeks reinstated  and now have bad w/d.mirtazapine is strong take it easy tapering.go slow 

March-2017-Dec-2017 ativanCT /reinstated ativan 1mg tapered 2 months/June 2017-April 2018 zyprexa 10mg switched to seroquel 200-300mg in april 2018/dec-2017-present zoloft 100mg/ quit seroquel 200-300mg cold turkey May 6 2018 reinstated seroquel 100mg around May 25 2018 since then tapered to 50mg zoloft and 50 mg of seroquel presently other medications Testosterone cypionate 2oomg every 4 days

UPDATE -August 20 2018--october 20 2018 tapered off Testosterone/Nov 7 2018 --Dec 20 2018 Lamictal micro dose 2.50mg 1 1/2 weeks then reduced to 1.25 then fast tapered as it became paridoxial.nausea- racing thoughts- agitation and insomnia.

August 28 2018 to Present Cannabis indica micro dose PM bedtime only.

Presently Seroquel 37.5 mg bedtime /Zoloft 47mg morning

May 2018-Present Multivitamin/ Bcomplex/Vit C 1000MG/B12 1000MCG/Fish oils 2grams/

Jan 2019-Trace mineral liquid low dose

Update dec 2019 -29mg of zoloft tapering/Seroquel 37.5 holding/1 or 2  ativan 1mg a month as needed if that.

Black seed oil-caprylic acid-/b complex/b12/multi/D/E/melatonin

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Thanks, its so hard, i just want to get started, finding a doctor that isnt a drug pusher is really difficult. Thank you very much for your reply ✌🏻️ 

3.5 years ago started on 45 mg efixor for 6 months then 

went onto Lexipro 10mg then up to 45mg

then mertazipine 15mg up to 30mg then 45mg, have dropped to 30mg and thats what im on now. 

Link to comment
  • Administrator
On 7/29/2018 at 8:09 PM, Bkbk said:

Hi, any tips on how to get through to a doctor that i need to do the 10% drop so i have minimal side effects ? I have been to four doctors and they said to just drop down to 15mg, thats a 50% drop, i have tried this with very bad side effects, they dont want to listen at all. I want to drop from 30mg down to 27mg and down by 3 mg each time, the compounding chemist in my area said they can do it but i will need to get a script from a Gp, thats the problem the doctors wont listen to me and tell me to either just go off them or to go down to 15mg, im at a loss here i really want to start the process, but it seems the doctors wont help. I live in a rural area and doctors are very hard to find that bulk bill, i need a bulk billing doctor as i havent worked in 3 & a half years due to this medication and it seems im running out of options. Help ! Please !! 

 

Your experience is typical. Very few doctors understand anything about tapering or withdrawal syndrome. Here is our topic about tapering mirtazapine. Please read it.

 

On 1/15/2018 at 11:36 AM, Altostrata said:

Welcome, Bkbk.

 

How are you feeling now?

 

Yours is a familiar story, please don't blame yourself. It's very unfortunate that none of your doctors recognized that you were suffering adverse effects from those drugs.

 

Good idea to stop tapering mirtazapine for a while. Here is our topic Tips for tapering off Remeron (mirtazapine)

 

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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