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looneytunes: Relationship in danger


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My husband of 30 years, 3 adult boys, has had panic attacks in the past 5 years. He was on and off escitalopram at different times. His sister, a pharmacist and naturopath (!),  convinced him to take it indefinitely to help him with his serotonin levels. That has been about a year now. He gets his prescription from the family doctor who does nothing but bloodwork. He previously took 10 mg, but just told me he moved it down to 5 mg. He has taken  business coaching seminars and now finds himself a well-adjusted expert.

His aggression levels toward me have gotten worse. He definitely, IMHO, has emotional blunting. He is in denial.


All of my concerns and problems are brushed aside with the comment that I require coaching. I actually have consulted with 2 psychologists, both which confirmed that I am fine and yes, we need therapy together.


We are now going to a therapist together, just having had 4 sessions. I mentioned his SSRI and the possibility of discontinuing it. He went through the roof, threatened to leave the room, said I was wasting money on therapy, it was not up for discussion. I am very glad that he lost his composure and the therapist got to see a little of what I deal with. It took the therapist close to 10 minutes to calm him down. I don't think DH realizes what he demonstrated. On the down side, the therapist is not medically trained and thinks he should continue with the SSRI. 


We live in Europe in a non English speaking country. The therapist does not read English fluently. DH does speak fluently - but I have a feeling, he won't even look at this information I have prepared.


His new friends from the coaching seminar (3 months training, 1 year ago) are very important to him. Which makes sense to me because he needs new input and kicks to feel positive. He is very indifferent to me, has stopped verbal aggressiveness since the therapy, mostly by avoiding me at home. The agressiveness was bad and could have been for very trivial things like an empty carton. He has been unemployed for >2 years, previously being at a high level position. Age 55, very athletic, dynamic and younger looking. However, I wonder if other people can see or tell that he may be on an SSRI - albeit a small dose. The fact that he has always been very sports oriented was always a little suspicious to me. If we went on a hike together, the goal was to hike as fast as possible. In his other sports, I cannot keep up with him and we do not even attempt it. 


I also have found my own therapist. A previous medical doctor that got into psychotherapy. It is good to have someone to talk to but I have yet to find a benefit to it.


So what am I looking for? Basically a forum to discuss having a family member with this problem. I really don't know how long I can put up with this. If he would recognize the problem, it would make a big difference. If he could get a job that would help me some temporarily. Interview upcoming.


Thank you for this informative website.


Any comments? 

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  • ChessieCat changed the title to looneytunes: Relationship in danger

Hi L. Welcome. If your husband has recently dropped the amount from 10 mg to 5 mg ~ then he is most likely in withdrawal as this was probably much too fast and maybe a small reinstatement may help. 

Is there any chance he may be open to that?


Would you mind adding his drug history?

Please put your withdrawal history in your signature

Thanks in advance,


Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014


                                                  Psych Drug - free since May 2014

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