Jump to content
Katamari

Katamari Another venlafaxine survivor!

Recommended Posts

Katamari

I decided to write my success story while I still remember something about the withdrawal... 

My introduction topic is here: 


So, it has been few months with no symptoms at all. That is why I think about any withdrawal stuff very rarely nowadays... And I've started to forget what it was like!

I try to explain in phases how it was:
Phase 1: Started about two weeks after the last pill and lasted about 5 months. Dizziness, headache, insomnia, mild nausea.
Phase 2: Panic attack 24/7, severe anxiety, depersonalization, intense crying spells, fear of losing my mind. These were the times when I was very close to calling an ambulance. It was almost psychotic. I think this phase lasted for about 2 months.
Phase 3: Windows and waves. More or less anxiety. Introduction of long forgotten emotions, bad and good ones. In the beginning it was mostly bad ones all the time, then about fifty fifty, then more good ones than bad ones. Every wave had its own "theme" of ruminating thoughts (doom, death, shame, anger...). Very disturbing and strange. Basically anything could trigger anxiety, stress tolerance was 0. This was the longest phase, I think it took a year and a half. 
Phase 4: Anhedonia. When the constant struggle and rollercoaster had turned into being somewhat neutral, I felt depleted. It was spooky and difficult, because anhedonia is very disturbing. I hated it. Not sure how long this took, 6 months maybe? Something like that. I think this phase also included lots of confusion and an identity crisis even. 

Then suddenly I realized its been weeks after weeks feeling normal. And by normal I mean good days and not so good days. The proportions are right. Emotions are legitimate.
It was definitely a physical and psychological adaptation that took almost 3 years for me. 

I DID IT!!!

 

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Itzakadoozee

My hero

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Madeleine

Thank you so much for sharing!  I got to stage 2, then panicked and re-instated.  I will be better prepared and informed next time thanks to you and many others in the forum -- and will ride it out.   Your post will be read and re-read by me and countless others for inspiration. 
With much gratitude, 

 

M.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Santino

A very Good News Katamari....

Very soon i will write my own success story tooo.... 

Life is beautiful when you fight to keep it that way.

Good luck once more

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
gigi63
19 hours ago, Katamari said:

I decided to write my success story while I still remember something about the withdrawal... 

My introduction topic is here: 


So, it has been few months with no symptoms at all. That is why I think about any withdrawal stuff very rarely nowadays... And I've started to forget what it was like!

I try to explain in phases how it was:
Phase 1: Started about two weeks after the last pill and lasted about 5 months. Dizziness, headache, insomnia, mild nausea.
Phase 2: Panic attack 24/7, severe anxiety, depersonalization, intense crying spells, fear of losing my mind. These were the times when I was very close to calling an ambulance. It was almost psychotic. I think this phase lasted for about 2 months.
Phase 3: Windows and waves. More or less anxiety. Introduction of long forgotten emotions, bad and good ones. In the beginning it was mostly bad ones all the time, then about fifty fifty, then more good ones than bad ones. Every wave had its own "theme" of ruminating thoughts (doom, death, shame, anger...). Very disturbing and strange. Basically anything could trigger anxiety, stress tolerance was 0. This was the longest phase, I think it took a year and a half. 
Phase 4: Anhedonia. When the constant struggle and rollercoaster had turned into being somewhat neutral, I felt depleted. It was spooky and difficult, because anhedonia is very disturbing. I hated it. Not sure how long this took, 6 months maybe? Something like that. I think this phase also included lots of confusion and an identity crisis even. 

Then suddenly I realized its been weeks after weeks feeling normal. And by normal I mean good days and not so good days. The proportions are right. Emotions are legitimate.
It was definitely a physical and psychological adaptation that took almost 3 years for me. 

I DID IT!!!

 

Katamari, thank you so much for coming to relay your good news.  Congratulations and the very best to you!!!!  

 

I am am wondering if you could tell us more about the phase of anhedonia.  Can you paint a more descriptive picture of what that looked like Day in and day out.

 

i personally find it hard to know where I am at.  Is is the depression or anhedonia, it feels like both.  But when you speak of the depletion, boy, that resonates with me.  I do feel so depleted now, and it is pretty steady.   

 

Thank you again and and best wishes to you in life!!!!!  God Bless you!!!!

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
PSVT

Nice work!

 

i am around 4 months off Pristiq cold turkey and have recently just started  getting small and short lived "Windows"

 

Could you you detail some further information around your windows and waves experience.

 

thank you

 

Anthony

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
sharyn

Thank you. I enjoyed reading your success story. I am desperate to get off venlafaxine. It is so hard as I can't live without sleep. So I doing it super slowly cutting my tablets

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Katamari
On 26.1.2018 at 4:39 PM, gigi63 said:

Katamari, thank you so much for coming to relay your good news.  Congratulations and the very best to you!!!!  

 

I am am wondering if you could tell us more about the phase of anhedonia.  Can you paint a more descriptive picture of what that looked like Day in and day out.

 

i personally find it hard to know where I am at.  Is is the depression or anhedonia, it feels like both.  But when you speak of the depletion, boy, that resonates with me.  I do feel so depleted now, and it is pretty steady.   

 

Thank you again and and best wishes to you in life!!!!!  God Bless you!!!!

 

 

Being in the middle of anhedonia is indeed very similar to being depressed. Unlike in windows and waves where living is very emotion-centered, anhedonia is very blunt. It's like ultimate laziness. Those were the days when I spent my free time on the couch doing nothing. Then I realized it has been some time of doing absolutely nothing enjoyable and I felt slightly bored but still nothing compelled. I didn't want to see other people, I just didn't care. As this went on, I started to get anxious because I had no idea how long that was going to take. And if you ask me, I rather choose intense neuro-emotions than complete emotional emptiness. Anhedonia is a waste of life and luckily it only took couple of months to pass. 

 

On 27.1.2018 at 7:04 AM, PSVT said:

Nice work!

 

i am around 4 months off Pristiq cold turkey and have recently just started  getting small and short lived "Windows"

 

Could you you detail some further information around your windows and waves experience.

 

thank you

 

Anthony

My introduction topic is all about windows and waves, it has very detailed descriptions of what I went through, so I'd suggest reading that. A lot of time has already passed, and I remember less about it after every month. Also, as it was the most difficult time of my life, my memories are somewhat blurred too. If you have any questions, you may need to be more specific...

Good luck!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
peng

Well done, Kat.  So envious of your success - and such a fast decrease.

I take it that the dose on your second week should be 37.5mg, not 35.5mg?  The multiples of our drug sizes here are 150, 75 and 37.5mg.

Apologies for being so obsessive!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Katamari

Dear survivors, Katamari here. Soon it has been 4 years without antidepressants. Just wanted to make a quick update and tell how I'm doing nowadays.

 

During this year:

- haven't experienced windows or waves anymore

- did ALOT of introspection and managed to rebuild my identity and confidence

- made plentiful amount of art pieces (during meds I made 0)

- felt happy or normal most of the time

 

I still think about this whole thing quite often and I'm so grateful I did it. Huge struggle, but definitely worth it.

 

For those who are struggling, please be merciful to yourselves and your bodies. You will adapt.

 

I wish a happier new year to my fellow survivors!

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Rezten

Thank you for sharing your story.  It gives me hope.  I too quick tapered and have been in withdrawal since March.  I've made many mistakes along the way, but now that I am part of SA I hope to be doing the right things and my brain is healing.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
FarmGirlWorks
On 12/26/2018 at 4:10 AM, Katamari said:

During this year:

- haven't experienced windows or waves anymore

- did ALOT of introspection and managed to rebuild my identity and confidence

- made plentiful amount of art pieces (during meds I made 0)

- felt happy or normal most of the time

Thank you! for this, @Katamari (nice avatar). I cannot wait for that time. I was most interested in your observation about making art. I feel that my years on Zoloft/sertraline was when all my creativity disappeared and I just was copying (I worked in graphic design). Too lazy and fatigued to learn anything new. The stuff I really like and have artistic merit are from my years pre-drugs.

 

Now that I am in withdrawal, while it is horrible to have this head pressure/depression, I've been able to create more original pieces. Right now I am combing SA success stories for a piece that will be shown in a gallery at a museum. I am really hoping it helps someone stay off this poison. Thanks for your inspiration that it will get better!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Rozon1

hey, @Katamari when you had 24/7 panic attacks and anxiety, how bad was it? Could you not sit still?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

Terms of Use Privacy Policy