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Why and when did you decide to come off drugs?


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On 03/01/2018 at 12:18 PM, Looking4peace said:

At 21 months out after stopping the Effexor, I feel worse than ever. My anxiety, depression and worry have reached an all time high.

I am of Effexor now for a couple of years and have had many other ads thrown at me I have been clean of all meds now for 10 months and this is the worst I have ever been in my life , the depression is at a all time low everyday is just a struggle for survival Effexor pooped out on me 4 years ago and the suffering has never ended , I am at the end of living like this do you get any windows as I don’t , I don’t think we all recover 

100mg Effexor 2000 untill jan 2015 severe withdrawals . Tapered 4weeks.

Jan to end of Feb 4 weeks on 15mg mirtazapine 20mg quetiapine , tapered of both 2 weeks , severe withdrawals , still some from Effexor possibly

End of Feb 2015 to end of July 30mg citolapram tapered 2weeks severe withdrawal , anxiety high , bouts of sever depression , severe emotional moods

Currently on 30mg mirtazapine appx 5 months , high anxiety, March cut dose 22.5 mg going on to liquid still no improvements with the depression , also started sept 2015 200mg pregabalin , currently on 22.5mg mirtazapine tablet form doing really badly. Cut beginning of May remeron 20mg still bad anxiety,August 15mg remeron ,100mg pregablin , severe depression headaches anxiety , oct 2016 doctor stoped pregablin c/t , 15mg mirtazapine still no let up in physical symptoms ,high anxiety ,Nov 2016 remeron 13.5 mg , Jan 2017 mirtazapine stopped flouxetine20mg added by hospital admission, no choice , doing really badly , akathesia suicidel ,, Flouxetine c/t by hospital after 7 weeks 20mg daily , currently on nothing , God help me

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On 1/3/2018 at 7:18 AM, Looking4peace said:

At 21 months out after stopping the Effexor, I feel worse than ever. My anxiety, depression and worry have reached an all time high.

How are you today?  Sorry you are suffering so from anxiety, worry and depression.  I'm reading William Glasser's Reality Therapy for ideas on how to cope.  Wishing you hope and healing,

RealMe

Alcohol periodic excessive 1963-1976, Valium sporadic 1964-1973,  Imipramine off & on 1982-1985, Fluoxetine 10mg-80 mg. Oct., 1995-Jan., 2014; Cymbalta, other ADs 1/2014-3/2014; Abilify 5 mg. 3/2014 - 8/8/17; Trintellix 20 mg. 3/2014 - 9/2017; Propranolol 60-80 mg. sporadically Sept-Oct, 2017; Seroquel few days Sept 2017 (c/t); Wellbutrin 150 mg. Sept, 2017 updosed to 300 mg. few days till c/t Oct 8, 2017, fish oil, vitD, vitE Oct 16, 2017-pres. Lipoflavonoid 4/2017-pres.  Fluoxetine 10 mg. Sept-Oct 8, 2017, 20 mg. 10/9- 10/15; 10 mg. 10/16 - 12/29;  9 mg. 12/30 - 2/9; 2 mL liquid (8.1mg) 2/10 - 3/7; 1.8 mL (7.29 mg) 3/8 -3/20; 1.6 mL (6.561mg) 3/20-4/2; 1.4 mL (5.9 mg) 4/3-4/14; 1mL (4 mg.) 4/15-4/22; .9mL (3.6mg) 4/23-5/1; .81mL (3.24 mg) 5/2-5/24; .73mL (2.916mg.) 5/25-6/8; .65mL 6/9-6/23; .6mL 6/24-7/17; .58mL 7/18-7/28; .525mL 7/29-8/13; .5 mL 8/14-21; .45mL 8/22-31; .4mL 9/2-21; .35mL 9/22-10/4; .3mL 10/5-28; .25mL 10/28-11/10; .2mL 11/11-11/24; .18mL 11/25-12/3; .1mL 12/4-12/18. Zero-12/19/18-present.

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  • 3 weeks later...

I was really hoping to create a Poll type post but I'm not sure how to make one.  I'm really curious how many people decided randomly one day to come off.  Was it like an epiphany or just wanting a change in life?  Some people realize the meds are making them sick and they make the choice to eliminate the poison.  Some aren't so lucky.  Some hit tolerance and no medication works anymore.  Or some have life changes that force them to cold turkey or taper, such as pregnancy.  What was your reason?  Was it just a random choice? Thanks for reading.

<p>10 years of ssri and finally tapered off in 2 years. Off Celexa by jan/28/2014 and off benzos by March/6th/2014 after only two months use and still experiencing withdrawal symptoms.

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  • 2 months later...

I think this is an important question, one that all of us have had to answer for ourselves. My concern is the potential long term damage that taking SSRIs may have had (and continues to have) on my brain and entire neurological system. I have been on Celexa for 20 years now, and I don't even remember what I was like before taking this drug. I feel I'm at a pretty stable place, and I'm used to the side effects. I'm not sure if I'm naturally more optimistic or energetic - but I do feel that Celexa dampens my emotional range and contributes to a low grade malaise that I feel. What I'm most concerned about though is the impact this long term use has had and continues to have on my overall health. I've developed thyroid issues, eye issues, hearing issues, digestive issues, skin problems, weight gain, muscle weakness,  and gluten intolerance over the past five  to 10 years, and I wonder how much of these issues have to do with taking an SSRI for over 20 years. I've read about the correlation between long term SSRI use and dementia, diabetes, blood clots, intestinal bleeding and tardive dysphoria. I'm in my 50s now and could live another 20 to 40 years. I wonder what my brain will look like after 20 more years on Celexa. I found this video helpful:

 

 

  • 1998 to 2018 (20 years) - 20 mg/day Celexa 
  • 2011 reduced dose to 10 mg/day (became extremely anxious, depressed and irritable) - went back to Celexa 20 mg/day
  • 2012 diagnosed with Hashimotos hypothyroidism - started T3/T4 thyroid medication 
  • April 25, 2018 - began 10% decrease to 18 mg/day Celexa
  • May 17, 2018 - decreased 10% to 16.25 mg/day Celexa
  • June 3, 2018 - decreased 10% to 14.65 mg/day Celexa
  • Supplements: Omega 3 fish oil and Tryptophan as needed
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  • ChessieCat changed the title to Why do you want to quit antidepressants?
  • 3 weeks later...
On ‎3‎/‎01‎/‎2018 at 11:09 PM, Looking4peace said:

PSVT

What was the actual health issue?

 

HI Looking4peace

 

Paroxysmal Supra Ventricular Tachycardia of the AVNRT (Atrioventricular nodal reentry tachycardia).

 

I had it for 21 years. Hospital visits, doctors etc always told me it was anxiety. I tried all methods of resolving this "anxiety" other than Psych meds. Meditation, psychologists, counselling, hypnotherapy, eastern medicine, acupuncture etc.

 

Finally in 2015 my GP convinced to take Lexapro. Didn't work. Then Pristiq. Didn't work. Finally one night while having an episode a Paramedic caught the issue on an ECG Trace and diagnosed it. Catheter ablation in August 2017 solved it in hospital. Now I'm deathly ill from Pristiq withdrawals and suffering BIG time. 6 Months off and very very ill.

Zoloft: Sometime early in 2014 Three days only. Torture!

Lexapro: Early 2015- Mid 2015 10mg

Lexapro: Mid 2015-March 2017 20mg

Tapered too fast, Withdrawal started through April-June 2017. Told by Doctor that it was rebound anxiety and have now developed MDD

Pristiq: July 2017-October 2017 50mg (total 56 days)

Lexapro: October 2017-October 2017 10mg (6 days)

Lexapro: October 2017-October 2017 20mg (5 days)

COLD TURKEY>>>>>>>>>>>>October 11,2017

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  • 2 weeks later...
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FarmGirlWorks
On 6/6/2017 at 1:44 PM, myndfull said:

I'm generally not a quitter. I'm a bit insufferable about finishing things. I generally don't start anything unless I'm willing to work through to the end. And, again, I absolutely loathe Big Pharma and its profit-over-people culture. The only way I can punish them is to stop giving them my money. So, I carry on.

Hahaha: me too. Great topic and much needed as I swim through this dark wave. I quit because I was still experiencing depression and fatigue and, unbeknownst to me, experiencing Zoloft poop-out. I have always been skeptical of "The Man" and hated being complicit in supporting pharmaceutical companies and happy pills. I also wanted to participate in an ayahuasca ceremony and you had to be SSRI-free for six weeks. I thought that a "goal" would help me get through the rough times. How little I knew that the rough times hadn't even started at six weeks. Hindsight is truly 20/20. And I am stubborn as hell too. Every time I think of reinstating (like 5 minutes ago), I remind myself that I've already come a long way and don't want to ruin any progress I've already made, invisible as it may be.

  • Prozac | late 2004-mid-2005 | CT WD in a couple months, mostly emotional
  • Sertraline 50-100mg | 11/2011-3/2014, 10/2014-3/2017
  • Sertraline fast taper March 2017, 4 weeks, OFF sertraline April 1, 2017
  • Quit alcohol May 20, 2017
  • Lifestyle changes: AA, kundalini yoga

 

"If you've seen a monster, even if it's horrible, that's evidence of divinity." – Damien Echols

 

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30 minutes ago, FarmGirlWorks said:

Hahaha: me too. Great topic and much needed as I swim through this dark wave. I quit because I was still experiencing depression and fatigue and, unbeknownst to me, experiencing Zoloft poop-out. I have always been skeptical of "The Man" and hated being complicit in supporting pharmaceutical companies and happy pills. I also wanted to participate in an ayahuasca ceremony and you had to be SSRI-free for six weeks. I thought that a "goal" would help me get through the rough times. How little I knew that the rough times hadn't even started at six weeks. Hindsight is truly 20/20. And I am stubborn as hell too. Every time I think of reinstating (like 5 minutes ago), I remind myself that I've already come a long way and don't want to ruin any progress I've already made, invisible as it may be.

I second this FGW ,we come a long way .I've heard a lot about ayahuasca  ,we would have to wait a long time after withdrawl to try this ide say .

Alcohol free since February 2015 

1MG diazepam

4.5MG PROZAC.

 

 

 

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  • 3 weeks later...
SorryImNormal

I stopped Paxil because it made me totally numb and removed my inhibitions.  And I mean things like rules/laws just 'didn't matter'.  It removed my humanity.  I also got electric shocks if I missed a dose by even just a few hours.  Sexual side effects were also significant. 

1996-2018

paxil prozac zoloft cymbalta effexor trazodone wellbutrin methylphenidate amitriptyline desipramine doxepin seroquel buspar clonazepam depakote(high doses) geodon lamictal neurontin strattera escitalopram.  Some of these drugs I have been on multiple times.  It is hard to remember. 

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Great thread.


The prompter was the side effects, but mainly I *hate* taking the pills, and I deeply resented the need to take them to function even long after I felt the episode had passed.

2005 St John's Wort / 2006-2012 Lexapro 20mg, 2 failed attempts to stop, tapered over 4.5 months in early 2012

January 2013 started Sertraline, over time worked up to 100mg

July 2014 Sertraline dropped from 100mg to 75mg, held for six months, slower tapering until 2019 22 Dec 3.2mg

2020 Sertraline 19 Jan 3.1mg, 26 Jan 3.0mg; 1 Mar 2.9, 7 Mar 2.8, May (some drops here) 24 May 2.5, May 29 2.4, June 21 2.3, June 28 2.2mg,  July 4 2.1mg, July 24 (or maybe a bit before) 2mg, early Nov switched to home made suspension; 29 Nov 1.8mg; approx 25 Dec 1.6mg)

2021 Some time in about Jan/Feb realised my dosing was off and as probably on more like 1.8mg and possible mixing error in making suspension; doses after 10 Feb accurate; 10 Feb 1.6mg; 7 Mar 1.4

 

My thread here at SA: https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/1775-bubbles/page/17/

CurrentSertraline: 7 Mar 1.4mg / Armour Thyroid / endless allergy meds, erg

 

 

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FakeItTilYouMakeIt

I am truly having a hard time figuring out if I can/should taper my AD. I mean, I still believe I have depression but I think it's from Ativan withdrawal (last Ativan was three months ago).  But it IS depression. I do not feel like my normal self. I feel okay but in the back of my head is the constant feeling that I am not myself. I cannot watch TV shows I used to love, plan vacations, or work for long periods of time.  I posted in another section with my whole story and I hope some will read and respond. 

But I don't think I should have ever been put on an antidepressant but now I am on one and I don't want to be. If I have depression, should I stay on it until the depression lifts and THEN taper? I feel like it's messing up my brain and I will be brain damaged for life.

Medications:

Current:   Pristiq 0mg since July 10, 2018

Previous Medication: 

Pristiq 50 mg May 24 to June 23 2018

Pristiq 25 mg June 23 to July 9

Lexapro 20 mg January 26 2018 to May 23 2018

Ativan for Insomnia:  December 8, 2017 to February 26, 2018 (.5) Once per night Dec/Jan

.5 Once every 3 days in February

Diabetic:  Insulin

Supplements:  Vitamin D.  Fish oil.  Magnesium.  Multi-Vitamin (B complex)

Iron

For sleep: little nibbles of melatonin (1mg) 

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  • Altostrata changed the title to Why and when did you decide to come off drugs?
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Altostrata

Hi, FakeIt. I attached your post to a similar discussion.

 

In your case, my guess is almost all your symptoms are drug-caused (iatrogenic), starting with Ativan withdrawal syndrome. Prescribing additional psychiatric drugs to treat withdrawal syndrome is a terrible idea, but physicians do it all the time because very few of them understand anything about psychiatric drug withdrawal and what to do about it. Many don't know how to recognize it at all. So they call it a psychiatric disorder and treat it that way.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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  • 3 weeks later...
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I know I already posted, but the short answer was this:

 

I came to the realisation that I was unhappy - nay, miserable - on the drugs.

 

I reckoned I was comfortable and familiar with being miserable, having decades of experience.

 

So I reckoned I could be just as unhappy and miserable without the drugs.

 

Of course, once the drugs were gone, the veil was lifted.  I still have problems, but - I am nowhere near "miserable," or even "unhappy."  I feel like my life has more meaning and engagement than it ever has.

"Easy, easy - just go easy and you'll finish." - Hawaiian Kapuna

 

Holding is hard work, holding is a blessing. Give your brain time to heal before you try again.

 

My suggestions are not medical advice, you are in charge of your own medical choices.

 

A lifetime of being prescribed antidepressants that caused problems (30 years in total). At age 35 flipped to "bipolar," but was not diagnosed for 5 years. Started my journey in Midwest United States. Crossed the Pacific for love and hope; currently living in Australia.   CT Seroquel 25 mg some time in 2013.   Tapered Reboxetine 4 mg Oct 2013 to Sept 2014 = GONE (3 years on Reboxetine).     Tapered Lithium 900 to 475 MG (alternating with the SNRI) Jan 2014 - Nov 2014, tapered Lithium 475 mg Jan 2015 -  Feb 2016 = GONE (10 years  on Lithium).  Many mistakes in dry cutting dosages were made.


The tedious thread (my intro):  JanCarol ☼ Reboxetine first, then Lithium

The happy thread (my success story):  JanCarol - Undiagnosed  Off all bipolar drugs

My own blog:  https://shamanexplorations.com/shamans-blog/

 

 

I have been psych drug FREE since 1 Feb 2016!

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  • 1 month later...

ADs made me more depressed than I used to be, made my depression and mood swings CHRONIC, made me feel discomforted, unease, totally unstable, strange, they made everything way worse. With Zoloft I was depressed and I couldn't sleep, with Effexor I was becoming bipolar. 

 

Not that today I am good, I still don't feel myself. My lack of motivation is killing me. But this has to be done. I no longer know who I am. 

November 2014 - September 2015: Zoloft 50 mg, Trilafon 4mg, clonazepam 1mg
October 2015 - September 2016: Effexor 75 mg
September 2016 - January 2017: Effexor 150 mg
Stopped Effexor in March 2017 after tapering under medical supervision
The doctor I've now found is an expert in withdrawal from ADs
Persistent withdrawal syndrome since July 2017: Prozac 10 mg, clonazepam 0.5 mg, to cope with it.
December 2017 -  withdrawing from Prozac, 10 mg every 2 days
Drug free since January (?) 2018
 
Symptoms: pins and needles, burning skin sensations, PSSD, OCD, mood swings (a lot), malaise (a lot), muscle spasms, voice in my conscience. 

Doing not so bad, but I want to be the person I was. 
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I’m in the middle of my taper. Dosulepin. I just want to know what it’s like without any drugs. I’m 61 and have spent very little of my life without one drug or another. I have been on Dosulepin for 25 years and in the beginning it was a game changer for me. It did lift my depression, calmed the anxiety and allowed me to do things that I couldn’t without the drug. Because it worked in the beginning, I just kept taking it. The last few years have not been the same. I very often had suicidal thoughts,no energy, needing afternoon naps of up to 2 hours every day, 3 stones of fat around my belly etc. I want to see what it’s like without drugs. Simple as that really. 

 

My constant worry or nagging thought while Im going through this withdrawal is :- am I just reverting back to what I was without the drug ? I obviously started on the drug because I had problems . Am I just going to be the same as I was before taking the drug? It’s difficult.

 

Steve

 

Quote

Dosulepin 75 mgs per night since 1993.           Dosulepin March 16  2018   75mgs and 50 mgs alternate nights.             Dosulepin. March 30. 2018.  50 mgs per night

Dosulepin. May 2. 2018. 50mgs and 25 mgs alternate nights

Dosulepin. May 27 2018. 50 mgs per night ( increased )

Dosulepin. July 11 2018. 45 mgs per night

Dosulepin. August 13 2018  40 mgs per night

Dosulepin  October 10 2018. 37.5 mgs per night

Dosulepin. October. 24 2018. 35 mgs per night

Dosulepin. December 5 2018. 32.5 mgs per night

Dosulepin.  January 2. 2018  30mgs per night   February 14 2018  29 mgs per night

Dosulepin February 27  28 mgs per night

 

 

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  • 2 months later...

I stop meds because I cannot accept the diagnosis and taking them ain’t many helpful at all.Most of my friends had stopped meds and are mostly recovered.Antipsychotic gave me sexual dysfunction and this is a important reason why I stopped them.I broke up with my gf because we couldn’t have good sex and also anxiety reason...now I am still on antidepressant as I think I am more depress then psychotic.Used to take antipsychotic for 8 years continuously

Jan 2009-Mar 2016---Abilify(20,15,10,5mg),Risperidal(3mg,2mg,1mg),Mirtazapine(30mg,15mg)

 

2 years before:

Mar 2016-Feb 2017---Abilify(5mg,2.5mg)

 

July 2017-Oct 2017---Olanzapine 15mg

Oct 2017-Nov 2017---Olanzapine 10mg

Nov 2017-Feb 2018---Olanzapine 5mg

Feb 2018-NOW---Olanzapine 2.5mg

 

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  • 2 years later...
  • Moderator Emeritus

merged similar topics

So close to the end!!!

🏁

Current from 16 October 2021:  Pristiq 0.005mg

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering Oct 2015 

My full tapering program     My Intro (goes to my tapering graph)    My website

PLEASE NOTE:  I am not a medical professional.  I provide information and make suggestions.

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  • 1 month later...

I have been taking paxil for 20 years for severe depression and anxiety and panic attacks. Work really well at first but now I am experiencing withdrawl symptoms without even tapering which leads me to believe that it’s pooping out. I don’t want to up my dosage as I now know it will eventually poop out again, and then what? So I feel my only option is to start tapering. Scared of the unknown because it did bring me out of a really dark and scary place, and unsure how I will be without it. 

Paxil 20mg since 2000 (20 years) 

September 2001 - February 2003 - Klonopin - half of a .5 mg tablet three times a day

March 2012 - Klonopin - .5mg tablet once or twice a day for two weeks
oct. 2014- cold turkey off of 20mg paxil  
November 2014-reinstated paxil 5,10,20mg

June 2020- went down to 22.5mg paxil 

august 2020-went down to 20 mg paxil. 

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  • 1 month later...
SolidmiseryonAD

In November 2018, I started my tapering journey after a video on Youtube.com directed me here to Survivingantidepressants.org.  And, I found the courage to start my journey.  At that time, I was on 300-mg of Bupropion and have been experiencing 'poop-out' or tachyphylaxis for some time. Digestive issues, insomnia, emotional reactivity, fatigue, poor health were some of the problems that were making my quality of life poor. 

 

To add a little humor into this situation, I always thought that the drug's name, Bupropion, was the name of one of the demons from the bottomless pit of Hell.  

 

There were struggles - oh, my struggles - but those struggles were made easy after reading the articles on this website and knowing that I wasn't a lone.  I will still have my challenges ahead, but I want to report that I'm currently on 60-mg of Bupropion and, on 3/20 I will decrease my dosage to 56-mg.  

 

One of the things which helped me during the tough times was re-reading my reasons for starting this taper.  I am sharing them with you now because today, I found these reasons and read them over the first time in three months.  

I would suggest that people write down their reasons for starting a taper because it does help with resolve and establishes goals that one can live for.  

 

The Reasons I started Tapering Off of Bupropion, Let Me Count The Ways...

 

1.   To gain back my dignity and personal control: In a sense, I was placed on this drug because of my ignorance and naivete. My doctor, a 'trusted' professional should have been looking after my best interests. Instead he enslaved me by turning me into a cash cow for Big Pharm.  

 

2.   I'm finally learning to take care of myself.  My dysfunctional family of origin did not teach me to take care of myself - actually they discouraged it.   When I attempted to learn to take care of myself - my dysfunctional family bullied me into taking psychotropics.  Because I have no choice BUT to take care of myself now - to love myself now and look after myself now - I have decided to turn this into a positive.  

 

3.  Letting Go of the Past and Looking Towards the Future.  The people who cause many of my troubles and issues are dead or simply out of my life.  New people have entered my life and I have a new lease on it.  The issues that I had at the time I was placed on the drugs are no more.  Its time for me to reinvent myself and be the best person I can be. I'm too strong of a person to let the past and antidepressants defeat me! 

 

4.   If a zombie apocalypse happened, would being on an antidepressant help or hurt my chance of survival? 

 

5.   Instead of leaning of psychotropics - how about G-d?  Instead of making myself (along with the antidepressant) my personal higher power - how about if I turn my life over to my Higher Power and let G-d handle the details while I'm getting off of this s***.  After I'm off this stuff, keep letting G-d run the show while I help others and do what G-d wants me to do with the life that was given to me. 

 

1995 - 1997: Xanax 

1997 - 1999: Slow taper off of Xanax

1999 - 2018: Bupropion (75-mg, 100-mg, 150-mg and 300-mg)

2018: In November I started tapering off Bupropion, initial dosage at start of taper was 300-mg per day.  Taper schedule was 5% decrease from pervious dosage - using solid and liquid forms of Bupropion.

2021: As of 3/17 I'm at 60-mg Bupropion per day going down to 56-mg.  Slow and steady, slow and steady and stable....

 

 

 

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ChessieCat

Existing topic about this subject here:

 

why-and-when-did-you-decide-to-come-off-drugs

 

So close to the end!!!

🏁

Current from 16 October 2021:  Pristiq 0.005mg

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering Oct 2015 

My full tapering program     My Intro (goes to my tapering graph)    My website

PLEASE NOTE:  I am not a medical professional.  I provide information and make suggestions.

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SeekingMeaning

The cocktail of drugs I was prescribed in the midst of psychosis in 2015 felt as if they did what they were meant to, brought me back to earth with a crash.  In my weakened state I was persuaded to go on SSRI which I had resisted pressure to take for years.  I was never really all that convinced it was working.  I still felt very anxious and depressed but at least I slept properly and sleep deprivation was thought to be one main ingredient in the original psychosis. 

 

Two years into my 200mg a day sertraline and I was pretty sure they were doing nothing for me but was too demotivated in life to be able to face going to the dr, weaning off, starting something new, all that faffle.   So I just carried on taking the sertraline and slowly dying inside.  My sleeping was taking over my life, I found it hard to stay awake for anything.   My psychiatrist had suggested that people often go up and down between 150mg and 200mg as their life circumstances change so I simply decided to drop to 150mg and see whether I could stay awake more.

 

Five months at 150mg I was more awake but I was having disgusting livid dreams and my depression was the worst I'd ever known it and getting worse by the week.  My psychotherapist asked me if I knew that sometimes SSRI stop working.  I had not heard that.  I'd been led to believe this was it for life now.  He directed me to read David Healy's website and I was utterly shocked by what I read.  On that day I reduced the dose further and dramatically, within a day or so, I felt happy for the first time in such a long time.  My life spirit started to return.  My totally numbed out genitalia picked up a whisper of feeling (a big relief as the thing that scared me deeply on David Healy's site was the news that for many, stopping the drug does not mean the PSSD ceases).

 

I had not been able to read a book since being on the drugs and was having difficulty taking in information from David Healy's site to any deep extent.  I did read about tapering but got the idea what it was something only a few needed to do, that the majority could just stop.  I am sure now I read that wrong but that's the catch 22 here isn't it... I was too ill from the drugs to make wise decisions about what I was taking or doing.

In December this year I read my first book in five years.  I used to be an avid reader and to be reunited with this resource felt a bit like coming home to a part of myself I had surrendered all too easily.  Just like my sexuality to be honest.  Also creeping back was my spiritual practice, my love of music, all sorts of things.

 

WD is turning out to be pretty unpleasant for sure, but as long as I don't go back to how I was last August I would say the positives are outweighing the negatives having had such a negative experience of being on the dratted things in the first place.  I AM afraid that the very bad place I was in from Aug to Oct last year was actually a WD response but as I got so much better from cutting the dose I also hope that it was more a case of depression being caused by the quite high dose of sertraline I was continuing to take.  Truth be told I am terrified of going back to that state again which is why I took the advice on this site of reinstating a minute amount of sertraline this week.  I do not feel I would survive very long if I was back in that hell and I was beginning to drift there due to my brazen approach to getting off the olanzapine without any pause for stabilisation.

1995 severe abreaction to Seroxat took one tablet and refused further meds. I paid for private psychotherapy. 

2013 till Feb 2021 Omeprazole as required for reflux. Stopped completely after joining this site and discovering it's psychoactive too.

2015 had major psychotic episode managed with lorazepam and 20mg daily of olanzapine, unknown amount of zopiclone, I was totally out of it and no one made any notes of what I took.  Probably only ever had one pack of zopiclone for crisis period.

After seeing psychiatrist for first time I was put on sertraline, stopped lorazepam and reduced olanzapine to 2.5mg daily.  Limited improvement with sertraline led to increasing dose to 200mg daily sustained till March 2020.

January 2019 started Magnesium 500mg, CoQ10 30mg, SuperB complex, primarily looking for Riboflavin based on recommendations for Migraine treatment.  So successful I hardly ever took any over 2020 just occasionally to treat my extreme fatigue.

March 2020 reduced sertraline to 150mg to see if side effects reduced and based on psychiatrist having led me to believe patients often increase and decrease dose as required.

August 2020 life threatening depression and vivid, vile nightmares prompted psychotherapist to suggest I read David Healy. On basis of that I began tapering sertraline and took last dose in Jan 2021. Feeling huge improvement in wellbeing off sertraline. NB now reinstated at 1.25mg daily.

Jan 2021 Tried simply not taking my 2.5mg olanzapine and had intolerable withdrawal. GP prescribed oral suspension but due to her warnings of expense I rushed the tapering to try to get it done in one bottle.

Mar 2021 feeling too ill with insomnia and agitation.  Reinstated 2.5mg Olanzapine per day and sertraline 1.25mg per day

Mar2021 experimenting with my Mg 500mg and CoQ as fatigue is pretty limiting.  No apparent side effects.

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Altostrata

@SolidmiseryonAD merged similar topics. Please add to existing topics rather than starting new ones.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

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  • 1 month later...
Montesa
On 8/9/2016 at 3:12 AM, RoxanneS said:

For me personally the antidepressant worked very well and I regret coming off it.

Not only is my anxiety worse than before the meds but I'm stuck with withdrawal symptoms for God knows how long :(

If I had known I would have taken it for life. Or never started it at all.

I'm having the same problem. I weaned off over four months after taking Lexapro for 30 years. I've been ten months in the DEEPEST DARKEST DEPRESSION Imaginable. I think some people need to be medicated for life, and I think I'm one of them! I have no idea what to do now? Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.......

1992 - 2020 Various SSRIs 

2000 - 2014 1 mg of Clonazepam / daily, Requip, & Seroquel

2014 - 2016 Tapered off Clonazepam, Requip, & Seroquel

December 2020 - March 2020 - Four month taper off of 20 mg of Lexapro

July 2020 - Severe Crash into Depression which I'm still in!

 

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Ventus

I decided to come off the drugs when I learned that my sexual difficulties where caused by the ssri, my psychiatrist never warned me all that time, and because I have never felt connected to anyone as long as I remember. I want to be able to feel that.

???? To  early April 2021: citalopram 20mg. This was a about 12+years

April 2021: stopped taking citalopram 

6/10/2021 to 6/11/2021: started taking buspirone for anxiety . Got ringing in the ears and insomnia so I stopped

 

6/16/2021 reinstatement of citalopram at 10mg

6/17/2021-7/20/2021: either ambien 10mg, editables or lots of zzquil or doxylamine succinate  every night or I don't sleep. Melatonin 3mg makes me yawn but doesn't seem to put me to sleep

 

8/12/2021: 4.5ml/9mg citalopram 

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