Anthony75: any help would greatly be appreciated

[Anthony75]

Thank you bubble

[bubble]

Hello Anthony!

 

I was reading a bit through your thread and have some thoughts to share. It seems you did and were/are getting better but when we are in a wave it feels like we have always been unwell and like we will always be unwell.

 

The second thing is your use of cannabis. How long have you been using it? If you go through our thread on the topic of cannabis you will notice that some people experience worsening of their symptoms. 

 

Another thing is: you have multiple factors at play: Paxil, Klonopin, thyroid medication and cannabis (if I understood it correctly). They complicate things since they might enter in all sorts of interactions.

 

I will ask other mods what they think but we need a few days of symptom log: times when you take all these drugs and supplements and how you feel after that. That might give us more insight.

 

This is what a symptom log looks like:

 

Keep notes on paper about your drug dosages and daily symptom pattern

 

A symptom pattern that occurs regularly over several days could mean the symptoms are from withdrawal, other adverse effects of drugs, or something else you do on a daily schedule.

 

In the course of discussion in your Introductions forum topic, you may be asked to keep notes on paper of your daily symptom pattern, including when you take your drugs, their dosages, and any symptoms.

 

What we need to see for every individual day over several days is:

- Time and dosage for drugs taken in morning
- Time and description of any symptoms in the morning
 
- Time and dosage for drugs taken in afternoon
- Time and description of any symptoms in the afternoon
 
- Time and dosage for drugs taken in evening
- Time and description of any symptoms in the evening
 
- Time and dosage for drugs taken in middle of the night
- Time and description of any symptoms in the middle of the night (such as waking)
 
And so forth. A diary, in chronological order, such as:
 
6 a.m. Woke and vomited
8 a.m. Took 2.5mg Lexapro
10 a.m. Had diarrhea
10:30 a.m. Ate breakfast
11:35 a.m. Got a headache, lasted one hour
12:35 p.m. Ate lunch
4 p.m. Stomachache
5 p.m. Took 2.5mg Lexapro
6 p.m. Ate dinner
9:20 p.m. Headache
10:00 p.m. Took 50mg Seroquel
10:20 p.m. Headache got worse
10:30 p.m. Fell asleep
2:30 a.m. Woke, took 3mg Ambien (NOT "took 1/2 tablet Ambien")
2:45 a.m. Fell asleep
4:30 a.m. Woke with headache

 

Edited March 9, 2019 by bubble

[Anthony75]

Hi Bubble, 

Thank you for taking an interest and trying to help me.

 

As far as the cannabis goes I started using about 3 months before I quit Paxil cold turkey. I thought this stuff is doing what the pills should be doing so I quit Paxil. Was scared to stop the Klonopin because my doctor said I could have seizures. Had no idea about withdrawals. I’m not trying to promote the use of cannabis.  I’m only saying it works wonders for me that’s why I quit Paxil. It helps me way more than these horrible pills. But I hear what you are saying. I have heard of cannabis not agreeing with some people. I have stopped a couple times while in withdrawal to see if there was a difference. I just felt worse. For me it helps me get through the wave easier. 

 

Unfortunately I haven’t been keeping daily notes with a timeline. But I do have notes. Should I post them? I will change how I log my notes from now on.

 

12 p.m. Levothyroxine 100mcg (Thyroid) & Paxil 50mg taken a half hour apart per doctors instructions.

12 a.m. klonopin 2mg

8 p.m. Fish oil 360mg, vitamin d3 50mcg, and a multivitamin 

I have been taking these medications & supplements for years at the same time every day. 

 

As I write this the wave is gone. I feel tired and beat up from the wave but I feel completely normal. I just don’t understand how it can just turn on and off like that. Thank you for your time I really appreciate it. It means a lot. Talk to you soon, Anthony 

[Gracee]

Hi Anthony75,

I am following your thread because I'm researching the replacement of cannabis for the monster Paxil.   Long history of anxiety/PTSD and unsuccessful attempts withdrawing from Paxil

Quote

 

 

[Anthony75]

Hi Gracee,

Nice to meet you. Sorry you have to deal with Paxil also. I hope you are doing well. I would be interested in reading your research if that is possible. Cannabis works for me but I would like to know how it works. I have read stuff online but I can’t seem to find a solid answer either way. I hope to talk to you more.

 

 I know no one can tell me a exact timeline on withdrawal. I’m just wondering if anyone has heard of reinstatement taking this long. I’m starting to get concerned I’m past scared and worried. It would be nice to get a little reassurance.

 

My guess is that by taking antidepressents for 25 years everyday I shocked the hell out of my nervous system by quitting cold turkey. I just desperately want to know if this is going to end. Either way I just need to know so I can accept the worse or look forward to better times.

 

Sorry if I sound pushy I’m really not trying to be. I’m just desperate to be honest. Thank you to everyone for taking the time to read this if you do. And a huge thank you for the people that have taken the time to try and help. I hope the best for everyone on the site and wish recovery for all. 

[bubble]

Please do your best to supply a few days of symptom log as explained above. 

 

This is important because in your case several things could be happening. When did you last check your thyroid hormones? Check our thread on thyroid in withdrawal.

 

I also warmly recommend these short essays by Brassmonkey. They should help you understand what's going on.

 

Also it is possible that you have reached a kind of WD normal or are experiencing some adverse and/or paradoxical reactions in which case you might need to start reducing gentle from the situation of relative instability.

 

We can only understand what is going on once you supply your symptom log.

[Anthony75]

Hi bubble,

I get blood work done every 6 months to check my thyroid and also my liver. Doctor says he checks my liver because of how long I have been on medication. He also says he does a full panel whatever that means.

 

Sorry but I don’t understand this part of what you said. “Start reducing gentle from the situation of relative instability” Can you please explain. Thank you 

 

I haven’t been keeping a log the way you recommend so I hope this is ok. I will try to remember times of the day. I’m going to write the days of my last wave that I just came out of.

 

Feb 25th

11am woke up feeling normal 

12pm took thyroid meds 

1230 took Paxil 50mg

12pm till 4pm got stuff done that I haven’t been able to get done

4pm ate lunch

430pm Starting to get the withdrawal tired weighted feeling.

(Since I started getting the window & wave pattern I always start to feel tired 2 days before a wave coming from a window. Even if I’m feeling great the tiredness comes)

430pm till 8pm Feeling tired is turning into feeling exhausted 

8pm ate dinner & took vitamins 

830pm exhaustion is getting worse. Just laid in bed watching tv till midnight

12am took klonopin 2mg 

12am watched more tv and read a little. Exhaustion is bad now but can’t unwind to fall asleep.

3am fell asleep 

 

(my work shift for the last 13 years has been noon till midnight so these hours are normal to me)

 

Feb 26th

12 woke up feeling normal except for being completely exhausted 

12pm took thyroid meds 

12:30pm took Paxil 50mg

12:30pm Tried to do stuff around the house to be productive but just couldn’t do it. I never felt exhaustion like this before. Inability to do anything. Rest of the day just laid in bed getting up every once in a while just to move around.

8pm ate dinner & took vitamins  

12am took Klonopin 

12am Laid in bed more. I don’t know how I can be this tired and not be able to sleep.

4am finally feel asleep  

 

Feb 27th

12pm woke up and took thyroid meds

12:30pm took Paxil 

Had a rough night last night. Kept waking up. Had weird dreams & anxiety. Only slept a few hours. Had stomach problems all day today.

(stomach problems are inability to eat, severe stomach aches, horrible nausea, gas and heartburn)

1pm withdrawal wave is here and feels as bad as ever. Anxiety is high and my mind is all over the place. Getting burst of fear that feels like it’s coming from my gut. Anxiety and flat out fear that I never experienced at this high level. Constant worrying that I can’t stop. Reliving all the times I made a mistake, embarrassed myself, guilt, regret you name it. Repetitive thoughts, words, rhythms that just keep playing over and over in my head. Just a head full of scary unwanted thoughts that I can’t stop even with all I’ve learned about CBT techniques. While I’m in wave everything is a disaster. I’m convinced I’m going to be homeless with no meds in withdrawal because I can’t work and haven’t for over a year. It’s like my thought process is all negative. And I have no control over my mind. Almost feel like a different person in a way. I’ve dealt with generalized anxiety disorder, panic disorder with agoraphobia all my life. And that was a walk in the park compared to withdrawal.

12am been laying in bed all day just trying to keep my sanity. Also took klonopin 

3:30am fell asleep 

 

Feb 28

12pm woke up feeling terrible. Took my thyroid meds

12:30pm took Paxil

12:30 Stomach problems are bad today. Anxiety is high and my mind is full of the same thoughts as yesterday just worse. Still getting the burst of fear. Sensitive to everything. Light, sound, and smell. Can’t hold a conversation. Can’t focus on anything.

10pm been laying in bed all day with my eyes closed. I’m sure I fell asleep at some point. No appetite. Tried to eat but couldn’t. Stomach pains and nausea was just to much.

12am took Klonopin. Still been lying in bed with my eyes closed. Not sure when I fell asleep.

 

(During part’s of a wave all I can do is lay down and meditate to get by. I’ve learned meditation and I just shut my brain down the best I can to just make it through)

 

March 1st

Exactly the same as yesterday 

 

March 2nd

Exactly the same as yesterday but I was able to eat something small

 

March 3rd

12pm took thyroid meds 

12:30pm took Paxil 

12:30 Felt better today. Still have the same symptoms just not as bad

5pm was able to eat 

5:30 Just trying to get through the day.

9pm was able to eat 

9:30 Still trying to get through the day 

12am took klonopin 

1am Symptoms are getting easier to handle 

4am went to sleep 

 

March 4th

12pm took thyroid meds

12:30pm took Paxil 

12:30 went back to sleep 

9pm just woke up. Ate dinner 

9:30 symptoms seem to be getting easier to handle the later in the day it gets

12am took klonopin. Able to relax a little more

4:30am went to sleep 

 

March 5th

12pm took thyroid meds 

12:30 pm took Paxil 

Wave is worse today. High anxiety, burst of fear,  same unwanted thoughts and fears. Bad stomach pains and nausea. Had to lay in bed with my eyes closed just to get by

8pm just woke up. Tried to eat something but couldn’t.

12am took klonopin 

4am went to sleep 

 

March 6th

exactly the same as yesterday 

 

March 7th

Exactly the same as yesterday again 

 

March 8th

12pm took thyroid meds

12:30 took Paxil 

12:30 went back to sleep 

10pm woke up. All day I’ve either been laying in bed with my eyes closed or sleeping. Was able  to eat something. Took vitamins 

12am took klonopin 

4:30am went to sleep 

 

March 9th

12pm took thyroid meds 

12:30 pm took Paxil 

12:30 Feel way better today almost normal. Just feel beat up and tired from the wave I just went through. Thoughts are still not right but better 

3:30 ate lunch

8:30 just been trying to take it easy and recover. Still feeling almost normal just tired. Ate dinner and took my vitamins 

12am took klonopin. Not sure what time I went to sleep but I’m guessing 1:30 am

 

So that is what a wave looks like for me for the most part as of now. Different waves I sometimes get different symptoms but this has been the standard lately. In the beginning I would be in bed for weeks with unbearable symptoms. I was in a constant panic for months so I know there is improvement.

 

 I hope this will work for a symptom log. If not please let me know what you need. Thank you again for your time 

 

 

 

 

 

[Carmie]

Hi Anthony, 

 

Thanks for your message. Yes, it can take quite some time to stabilise after reinstatement, but you are slowly stabilising because you’re getting windows. You will get there. 

 

Brassmonkey wrote about reinstatement: “ Reaching stability is very individual and will frequently take 3 to 6 months. It’s not unheard of for it to take 18 months to two years to fully stabilise from a reinstatement.” 

 

I was just wondering what is in your vitamins. Supplements can make your symptoms worse. B vitamins can be especially activating. 

 

If all you can can do is lie in bed with eyes closed in waves then do that. Sometimes when waves are severe we are in total survival mode and have to do whatever we need to do to get through the wave. I spend lots of time in bed, but it’s mainly due to my illness. Are you noise sensitive? If not, maybe put on some music or listen to a novel or something else for a bit if distraction.

 

Take care💚

[marconyc]

I tapered off 150mg of Zoloft and ended up in serious withdrawal. My doc reinstated and increased the dose to 200mg and added a small dose of Abilify. Two years later I’m almost done tapering off the Abilify and feeling pretty much back to normal. After I’m off the Abilify, I’m going to try reducing the Zoloft again. If you’re not getting worse and are seeing some improvements, chances are you’ll get back to normal, but it could take more than a year depending on how much stress you’re under in your life. Hang in there. If the overall trend is improvement, then hang in there and try not to get discouraged if it takes a while.

[wildling]

12 hours ago, Anthony75 said:

Getting burst of fear that feels like it’s coming from my gut. Anxiety and flat out fear that I never experienced at this high level. Constant worrying that I can’t stop.

----

Repetitive thoughts, words, rhythms that just keep playing over and over in my head. Just a head full of scary unwanted thoughts that I can’t stop even with all I’ve learned about CBT techniques. While I’m in wave everything is a disaster. I’m convinced I’m going to be homeless with no meds in withdrawal because I can’t work and haven’t for over a year. It’s like my thought process is all negative. And I have no control over my mind. Almost feel like a different person in a way.

 

Hi Anthony75,

I don't know if this brings any comfort, but I have these exact symptoms myself. However, the fact that they change almost weekly, like some week I have the gut-anxiety feeling, the next week I have a pressure in the forehead -anxiety etc. tells that it is our body working hard to heal and correct stuff. When it is bad, resting is essential for the body to heal. And we shouldn't feel bad about resting and sleeping. I know it gets so dark at times, when you really do not have any control of your mind (it feels like that because nothing we learned in the past works for these thoughts), but in a bad wave I try to repeat myself many times a day that it's just the withdrawal, it will pass.. And when it gets too though, I watch encouraging videos from Youtube from people who have already healed and try to ride the wave and accept the weird "out of control" thoughts. You are lucky to have waves that pass, so please hold on to that thought that it can and will get better when the windows get longer. 

I think this is the hardest thing any of us have to go through during our lifetime. The past anxietys and panics are nothing compared to the horrors of WD, so I imagine it being fairly easy to manage the normal stress and anxiety after this. I think in a way we are going to have superpowers. 

[Anthony75]

Hi bubble,

Hope you are doing good. Thank you for the link to the essay by brassmonkey it helped a lot.

 

Also thanks to brassmonkey for writing the

essay.

 

 

[Anthony75]

Hi Carmie, 

Hope you’re doing good. Thank you for your words of encouragement and information. The vitamin is just a standard daily multivitamin. I tried to upload a picture but won’t let me. I am sensitive to sound and light while in a wave. I read brassmonkey’s essay you recommend and it helped a lot. Thank you. Talk to you soon 

[Anthony75]

Hi marconyc, 

Nice to meet you. Sorry you had to go through that. None of us should have to be dealing with this. I’m happy to hear you’re doing good. Thank you so much for taking an interest and helping me it means a lot. Take care an talk to you soon 

[Anthony75]

Hi wildling,

Hope you are doing well. It does give me comfort thank you. Your words of encouragement really helped. Also knowing I’m not the only one is huge unfortunately you have to deal with this **** too. If you ever need to talk I’m here for you. Even if it’s just to remind you it’s just withdrawal. Because I know that when it’s bad I some how forget. I know I keep saying thank you but I really am greatfull for taking the time to help me. I’m greatfull for everyone on here that has taken the time out of there day especially while dealing with withdrawal to help. I have family and friends that want nothing to do with what I’m going through. I appreciate you and everyone on here. I agree that after dealing with this we will have super powers and regular life will be a walk in the park. I hope you have nothing but long windows ahead of you. Take care & talk to you soon.

[Gracee]

On 3/10/2019 at 4:44 AM, Anthony75 said:

Hi Gracee,

Nice to meet you. Sorry you have to deal with Paxil also. I hope you are doing well. I would be interested in reading your research if that is possible. Cannabis works for me but I would like to know how it works. I have read stuff online but I can’t seem to find a solid answer either way. I hope to talk to you more.

 

 

 

Indeed, no real solid evidence.   I plan to have a chat with my doctor re medical marijuana in a few weeks.   A therapist I know recommends CDB oil per her personal use.  Ask a 100 people, get 100 different theories.

Best wishes in your withdrawal.

 

[Anthony75]

Hello, 

I hope everyone is doing well. I searched through this website but couldn’t find anything on a few of my symptoms. I was hoping someone  here has heard of these symptoms or knows something I can do to ease the symptoms.

 

I’m in a wave right now. Every wave I deal with not being able to eat because of stomach pains, extreme nausea, and no appetite. In the beginning of withdrawals I would go about 5-6 days without eating anything. In my current withdrawal waves I usually go a day to two. I’m on day three right now. And since I haven’t dealt with not eating for this long in a while it’s taking its toll. Any info would be greatly appreciated. Thank you 

 

[powerback]

6 minutes ago, Anthony75 said:

Hello, 

I hope everyone is doing well. I searched through this website but couldn’t find anything on a few of my symptoms. I was hoping someone  here has heard of these symptoms or knows something I can do to ease the symptoms.

 

I’m in a wave right now. Every wave I deal with not being able to eat because of stomach pains, extreme nausea, and no appetite. In the beginning of withdrawals I would go about 5-6 days without eating anything. In my current withdrawal waves I usually go a day to two. I’m on day three right now. And since I haven’t dealt with not eating for this long in a while it’s taking its toll. Any info would be greatly appreciated. Thank you 

 

HI Anthony,so in a wave its impossible for you to eat ,put your symptoms/circumstance into google and see what comes up ,there must be some way to get nutrients into your body during this period .

[Anthony75]

Hi Powerback,

How are you? Thank you for your reply. Yes during a wave I can’t eat. My symptoms are gastrointestinal distress, abdominal cramping, sick to my stomach, and extreme nausea. I’ve found websites that confirm these to be paxil withdrawal. But unfortunately they do not say to how severe it could get. Maybe I just have it worse. I’m pretty sure it’s not my health because I only feel like this in a wave. Also I get regular check ups and blood work. I was just wondering if anyone has dealt with or heard something about it.

[powerback]

22 minutes ago, Anthony75 said:

Hi Powerback,

How are you? Thank you for your reply. Yes during a wave I can’t eat. My symptoms are gastrointestinal distress, abdominal cramping, sick to my stomach, and extreme nausea. I’ve found websites that confirm these to be paxil withdrawal. But unfortunately they do not say to how severe it could get. Maybe I just have it worse. I’m pretty sure it’s not my health because I only feel like this in a wave. Also I get regular check ups and blood work. I was just wondering if anyone has dealt with or heard something about it.

Not well enough to be online giving advice that's for sure [I need to stop this ,when so ill]

I take my advice back, googling symptoms in a wave isn't helpful, you seem tuned into knowing its withdrawal  so wait it out as best you can ,the fact you get tests regularly should ease your worry .it just shows the weirdness and down right madness that withdrawal is.

My mother asked about me the other day and I told her straight ,I don't need to watch a horror movie ever again because I'm living one I told her .ive no energy to feel sorry for her because im too ill,sadly her indoctrination with DRs is deep routed ,whether people believe me or not is the least of my worries these days [she actually does believe me ].

Take  care. 

[Anthony75]

Hello, 

I hope everyone is doing well. I had a couple questions if anyone has heard of this or went through it themselves. 

 

In in the beginning of withdrawal I had no windows for about 5 months. Then for the last year and a half I have been getting windows and wave patterns that have gotten better over time. I was getting up to 14 days of a window. About a month and a half ago the pattern has changed. It’s bouncing back from a window to wave sometimes daily. The best window I’ve had has been 3 days. But also the symptoms for the most part are less intense. Even though the symptoms are less intense it’s still taking its toll. I used those times in a window to recover from the wave and try to get things done I haven’t been able to do. I know it’s positive that the windows and waves are getting better but I’m concerned about the pattern. What do you guys think?

 

Also due to not working for so long. I have to move from California to Arizona to stay with family. To be honest I’m scared to leave the only life I know (friends, customers, surroundings, etc). Could the stress of that make the withdrawal worse or change the pattern of windows and waves?

 

 I appreciate any info. Thank you for taking the time to read this.

                           Anthony 

[Gridley]

1 hour ago, Anthony75 said:

I’m concerned about the pattern. What do you guys think?

 

 

That pattern is perfectly normal.  It's a great sign that the symptoms are less intense.

 

Moving is a big stressor even for someone not in withdrawal and, like all stressors, can intensify withdrawal or bring on symptoms. 

[Anthony75]

Thank you Gridley I appreciate it.

[Anthony75]

Hi Gridley,

Hope you are doing well. Thank you for always responding to my posts.

 

Even though the symptoms are less intense overall I still have my bad days that feel like the beginning. But I definitely appreciate that the symptoms are getting better. I also feel like I’m going backwards because of the erratic waves and windows. It’s too chaotic for me so I feel worse if that makes sense. I know you can’t tell me for sure but in your opinion do you think this new pattern is the new normal. Or will I go back to the windows and waves pattern I had before. Looking forward to your reply.

[Gridley]

2 hours ago, Anthony75 said:

in your opinion do you think this new pattern is the new normal. Or will I go back to the windows and waves pattern I had before.

 

There is really no way to tell.  It's going to be 3 steps forward, 2 steps back, and the nature of these steps we can't predict.  Your central nervous system is repairing itself, and we don't know how it's going to go about the work.  This could be your new normal, you could go back to the old pattern, or it could be something new.  There will be those two steps back, but you're definitely moving in the right direction.

[Anthony75]

Thank you Gridley I really appreciate it. 

[marconyc]

Hi @Anthony75 I tapered Zoloft from 150 to 50mg, was hit with massive withdrawal symptoms, and reinstated. My doc increased to 200mg and added 1mg Abilify. It’s been 2 and 1/2 years and I still experience some withdrawal. I’m tapering off the Abilify because I’m doing better, but I’m still not back to normal. You’re not alone. I think that my extended period of withdrawal isn’t only drug-related, though, because I have several big stressors in my life right now.

[Anthony75]

Hi marconyc,

Thank you for reaching out. Happy to hear you are doing better. Do you still get the wave and windows pattern?

[Anthony75]

Hi Everyone, 

Can someone please tell me how to redo my signature. I want simply my medication history so it makes sense. Thank you 

[Gridley]

2 minutes ago, Anthony75 said:

 

Can someone please tell me how to redo my signature.

 

Here's the link.

 

Account Settings – Create or Edit a signature.

 

After you're finished, click on "save" at the bottom.

[Anthony75]

Thank you Gridley. 

[Anthony75]

Hi Gridley,

Sorry if I’m bugging you. I keep getting this error message. Can you please tell me what to do from here. Keeps saying signature spans too many lines. Thank you 

[Gridley]

1 hour ago, Anthony75 said:

Keeps saying signature spans too many lines. Thank you 

 

There is a 12 line maximum (though I don't think it holds across the board as mine is much longer).  You have 13 lines.  The simplest thing to do is delete one line such as "supplements."   By the way, your signature is a model of clarity and concision.

[Anthony75]

Hi Gridley, 

It’s still doing the same thing. Could it be because I’m on a cell phone. I do not have access normally to a computer. Also sorry I don’t know what you mean by model of clarity and consision. Please explain. Not the most educated person.

Sorry if I’m being a pain in the ass

[Gridley]

1 hour ago, Anthony75 said:

Hi Gridley, 

It’s still doing the same thing. Could it be because I’m on a cell phone. I do not have access normally to a computer. Also sorry I don’t know what you mean by model of clarity and consision. Please explain. Not the most educated person.

Sorry if I’m being a pain in the ass

 

You're not being a pain.

 

By "model of clarity and concision" I meant it was a really great signature, very clear and no extra stuff.  Exactly what we're looking for..

 

You can't change your signature on a cell phone.  I should have said that before, sorry.  Can you get access to a computer? 

[Anthony75]

Oh thank you for the compliment I appreciate it. When my roommate gets home I will ask to borrow his. I will change my signature soon. Thank you for your help much appreciated. Best wishes, Anthony 

[Anthony75]

Hi Gridley, 

I don’t understand what I’m doing wrong. Here is a screenshot from my friends laptop and still getting the same error. This is my correct signature. It only has 11 lines. When you get a chance can you please help me with this issue. I appreciate it.