Anthony75: any help would greatly be appreciated

[Altostrata]

4 hours ago, Anthony75 said:

I think it was a coincidence that my stomach problems got worse after taking the Paxil. It happened for 5 days and now it doesn’t. So honestly I’m not sure what is going on. This is the first time since reinstatement that this has happened. I’m going to keep a eye on it. I’m still having the same stomach problems from when I ct Paxil. Just the last month my stomach problems are constant. Not just in a wave. 

I am confused. What times of day do you have stomach problems? Are they better or worse after you take Paxil? How do you feel after you take Paxil?

 

How are you improving?

[Anthony75]

@Altostrata

 

Hi Altostrata,

 

Sorry that I didn’t explain it correctly. 

I usually get the stomach problems only in a wave and they are constant in a wave. Since August 3rd I have been having stomach problems daily all day. At the time of my post it was the fifth day that when I took the Paxil it made my stomach problems worse. For some reason the following day the Paxil didn’t effect my stomach and hasn’t since my last post. So I was asking what to do because I didn’t know it was going to stop the next day. If the Paxil upsets my stomach again is there anything I can do? Maybe split the dose a hour between so it’s easier on my stomach?

 

Other than this I don’t feel anything when I take my Paxil dose.

 

Haven’t had a full window in about a month. I usually bounce back and forth from window to wave. Usually lasting six to ten days for both. But my last window I had two days where I felt completely normal. So I think I’m improving.

 

I hope this makes sense.
 

Thank you again for your time.

Best wishes, Anthony 

 

[Anthony75]

Hi Amanda,

 

Hope you are doing well. 
Yes I regret letting my doctor talk me into taking more of this **** but I didn’t know better. But what can you do. Yes I was in acute withdrawal for those months trying to work and keep it together but I crashed. That is why I reinstated.I believe I was in acute withdrawal for a few months after I reinstated honestly. 
 

How are you doing?

[Amanda167]

Hi Anthony

 

So sorry. That must of been really difficult! I CT years ago and reinstated very quickly as I was pregnant and it was more damaging to go through the WD.

Did you go straight back to 40mg after 9 months of nothing?

I'm not great, alot of symptoms have eased but the ones I have are still very distressing and I still can't go back to work.

Thanks for asking.  I hope you find some peace very soon.. I detest the medical industry with a passion for what they've put us all through x

[Anthony75]

@Amanda167

 

Hi, Amanda

 

Yes I went back on 40mg right away. And about four months later I believe I was still in acute withdrawal even though I reinstated. Symptoms were just as strong with no windows. So out of desperation I went to my doctor and told him what I did and he gave me 10mg more. Felt nothing from the up dose. Still had the same symptoms at the same severity. It just sucks because I feel like I’m going through withdrawals for nothing. Because I’m still on these pills. I have to go through this two more times to be free. Sorry I don’t mean to wine just frustrated. Sorry if I’m being negative and bringing you down. I hope I’m not.

 

I’m really happy for you that you are feeling better. You will make it back to work and your normal life guaranteed. 
 

I agree with the medical industry. If there was internet when I was prescribed this I would have never taken these pills. I would have dealt with anxiety another way. But at a little under 18 with constant panic attacks, being naive, and being desperate I was there perfect customer. All about the money in my opinion at least in the U.S.

 

Wishing you better days and the permanent window, Anthony 

[LadyBartonella]

When do you plan to start taper?

 

[Anthony75]

Not sure. I want to stabilize first. I can’t go back to acute withdrawal right now. I just don’t have it in me right now to go through that again. Way to burnt out and exhausted.

[Amanda167]

On 9/3/2019 at 9:29 AM, Anthony75 said:

Sorry I don’t mean to wine just frustrated. Sorry if I’m being negative and bringing you down. I hope I’m not.

Hi Anthony

 

Don't ever apologise... We have every right to whine. We should all be compensated by big HARMa,  they have ruined so many people's lives and knew exactly what they were doing. It's more than obvious they want lifetime customers.

I've tried 4 times to get off of Paxil and I'm so angry I now have an additional 3 meds to get off of... makes me sick everyday but we have to try focus on the end goal rather than the horrors they have caused.

On 9/3/2019 at 9:29 AM, Anthony75 said:

But at a little under 18 with constant panic attacks, being naive, and being desperate I was there perfect customer. All about the money in my opinion at least in the U.S.

I was 26 when I got put on these and if I'd known what I knew now, I too, would off been off of them years ago, not 22 years and still stuck. I always thought I must need them because of the withdrawals and had no idea about tapering or how powerful a little pill was. And yes, it's profit over health everytime.

I cannot imagine being on 50mg, I was on 20mg years ago and found that too much.

I so hope you stabalise real soon so you can start your taper.. I honestly feel much better the lower I go but then the horrid WDs kick in. I believe the constant change of generics messed me up, Not the taper. The last generic was definitely no where near as strong as any other I've had and the FDA guidelines are way to slack which can have a huge effect especially when tapering so please make sure you stick to the original or st least the same generic... really important.

 

Hope you have a wonderful window coming your way soon.

 

Stay well x

[Anthony75]

@Amanda167

 

Hi Amanda,

 

Hope you’re doing well.

Thank you for the kind words I really appreciate it. I’m really happy that you’re doing better. We will both be med free and living fully happy life’s one day for sure. Talk to you soon, Anthony 

[Amanda167]

Hi Anthony.

 

That's the dream.

 

Keep in touch x

[sunnysideup69]

Hi, how are you doing? 

[sunnysideup69]

Hi Anthony, I noticed that you were holding for a long time and I wondered, how are you doing these days? Hopefully, the reason you aren't posting any more is because you are having a HUGE window  

[Anthony75]

Hi @sunnysideup69,

 

Sorry it has taken me so long to reply. Feel bad that you probably thought I blew you off. I’m truly sorry. In a partial wave right now and I actually came on the forum to read a little bit and just saw your post. It’s been a while since I’ve been on here due to selfish reasons which I regret. 
 

Unfortunately no huge window I’m still in the windows and waves phase but better. Most windows are so good it feels like all this never happened. Actually feel better than before withdrawals by living in the moment and learning acceptance has been huge. But on the other hand still very bad waves where everything I’ve learned goes out the window. Waves aren’t as bad as before but still bad enough to be bed ridden for 3 to 4 days on average. Honestly just stuck in this back and forth of feeling good and feeling bad. 

 

How have you been? I hope you have been well. It would be nice to hear from you and how you’re doing. I promise I will reply this time way faster.

 

Also hello to all other members. I hope you’re all doing well. Best wishes to you all.

 

 

 

 

[Anthony75]

Hello to everyone. Hope you’re all doing well. Just wanted to stop by and share my progress. Hopefully this post will offer some comfort that it does get better. I’m still in windows and waves. Hard to say where I’m at as far as healed percentage because the windows and wave lengths change. But I’m guessing around 65 to 70%. 

 

During a window it’s like this never happened except for in the back of my mind I’m dreading another wave. Which is getting better by practicing acceptance and living in the moment. I have no control when another wave will come. In a full window I can do anything. Been able to work, camping, traveled for pleasure, etc. During a window I’m in a better place then before withdrawals. Before withdrawals I was always living in the past or the future. Learning acceptance and living in the moment has changed my life for the better. But during a wave it’s still a challenge to say the least. I get completely wiped out and get bed ridden. So all I believe I can do is wait it out and enjoy the good times. I definitely don’t want to mess with my dosage because I don’t believe I have the energy to go through acute withdrawals again right now.

 

But life is looking up I believe. Right after withdrawals started I couldn’t tattoo proffesionally anymore so had to quit my job. Lost my place and had to move into a house with some friends but unfortunately it is a very toxic living environment. I believe it made my withdrawals worse than they had to be. I just have nowhere else to go until now. I have been able to tattoo a little and got a job remotely so I able to finally move. I’m currently in the process of moving out of state. I believe by not having the stress of living in this environment will make my recovery easier and hopefully faster. It definitely can’t hurt. So even though it’s ramping up my withdrawals from moving to another state and not really knowing anyone. I really do believe it’s going to be for the better.

 

I can’t believe how bad I messed myself up with CT Paxil and how long this has lasted. But I have to own my ignorance and bad mistake. I wish I would of done some research before I just stopped Paxil. Definitely don’t recommend it. It’s weird to me looking back on my thread and reading my posts. I was absolutely terrified and thought I would never get relief. Seems like a different person wrote all that. I believe all of us will get better just unfortunately not as fast as we would like. So I’m just going to keep moving forward because I’m not going to accept the only other option. 

 

I know this is already all over the forum but acceptance and living in the moment is key for me. Don’t get me wrong in the beginning I could not practice this. Pretty sure this wasn’t the right way to start practicing acceptance. But I was so terrified, physically & mentally sick I just didn’t care anymore and let go. Scary as h*ll but I found power in that. Truly accepting what I can’t control or change. Not trying to preach just want to share some things that worked for me.

 

If anyone has any questions about anything please just ask. Or if you just want to vent and talk I’m here for anyone. I hope this post offered some support. And if you want your time back after reading this I apologize.

 

Before I go I had one question if you guys don’t mind. I have had some bizarre symptoms since withdrawal so it wouldn’t surprise me if this is a withdrawal symptom. I have searched and read threads on this site regarding Carpel Tunnel. This problem has started for me about six months ago. I read that a couple members developed this in withdrawals. Is this common for withdrawals to mimic Carpel tunnel. My hands are freezing up with pain and they are unusable. So far it has been one hand at a time where the symptoms come out of nowhere. I know you guys aren’t doctors just thought I would ask before seeing a doctor. I don’t trust doctors anymore and I’m trying to avoid an unnecessary surgery.  

 

Thank you guys for reading and like I said I hope this post at least gives one person comfort that it does get better. I hope you guys all the best and nothing but great days ahead. Take care & talk soon, Anthony

[Anthony75]

Hi @Gridley

 

Hope you're doing well. I have a question if you don't mind. I have been doing a lot better but the waves are still frequent and a challenge. I know quitting Paxil cold turkey definitely shocked my nervous system to say the least. It's going on 5 years now and I'm wondering if I will ever fully stabilize. Withdrawals seemed to get worse when I moved which I'm sure the stress and uncertainty of moving is ramping up my withdrawals. So I have been having a harder time than usual. In your opinion does this seem like a long time to stabilize? I've read through threads and can't seem to find anyone that has taken this long to stabilize from a CT with reinstatement of the medication. The stories I have read people are tapering. I know you can't tell me a time frame just wondering what your opinion is. I look forward to your reply. Thank you

[Gridley]

18 hours ago, Anthony75 said:

I know you can't tell me a time frame just wondering what your opinion is.

I'm taking a break from moderating right now.  I will say that I understand that going on 5 years seems like a long time, but it's all individual and healing can take a while (as you've seen). In a previous post you said you were around 65-70% healed and that's great progress.  It seems to me that you're well on the way to healing.

[Anthony75]

Thank you @Gridley for your response and opinion. I really appreciate it. Wish you the best.

[CloudyToday]

Hi @Anthony75, 

How are you doing?

Hope you don't mind asking, I read your post on another thread regarding your struggle with appetite. Did you have any improvement with it over time?

I currently have no appetite during the day. 

 

[Anthony75]

 

Hi @CloudyToday,

 

I'm doing ok. How are you doing?

 

I don't mind at all. You can ask me anything at any time. Sorry you're dealing with having no appetite. If it makes you feel any better you're not alone as I still deal with this symptom. But it does definitely get better. Also I have read multiple posts that this is a common withdrawal symptom.

 

For example when I was in acute withdrawal I wouldn't eat for up to a couple weeks sometimes longer. I have had multiple stomach symptoms that prevents me from eating from the beginning of withdrawal. Once I went into windows & waves pattern I would only eat during a window. And even then I wouldn't always have an appetite but most of the time I would. So it got better at that point but like I said if I was in a wave I would have no appetite and not eat. So slowly over the years it definitely has gotten better. For some reason since late May 2022 I have been in a constant wave with all my usual stomach symptoms with small pockets of feeling slightly better. Now even though I'm having my stomach issues constant daily I get an appetite even though. I never would of believed I would be able to eat while having stomach issues that I've had since the beginning. So this is big for me. So I defiantly have had improvements with appetite. I hope this answered your question.

 

You said you only have no appetite during the day. Are you able to eat in the evening or night? Are you having stomach issues as well that causes no appetite? Hope you don't mind me asking just trying to paint a picture so maybe I can try to help more.

 

I'm moving tomorrow out of state so if I don't get back to you in a timely manner please don't take it personally. I will respond asap.

 

I hope you start to get an appetite during the day. Also sorry that you're going through this. None of us should have to endure withdrawals. Please don't hesitate to contact me if you ever have any other questions. Talk to you soon & take care. Hope the best for you.

[CloudyToday]

Hi @Anthony75, 

 

Thank you for sharing this info. It is very helpful for me.

 

Glad to hear that you are doing OK. I'm sorry that you still need to deal with this terror years after. Hope you are feeling better now. 

 

 

22 hours ago, Anthony75 said:

 

You said you only have no appetite during the day. Are you able to eat in the evening or night? Are you having stomach issues as well that causes no appetite? Hope you don't mind me asking just trying to paint a picture so maybe I can try to help more.

 

 

Yes, throughout the day I don't have much of an appetite but I force myself to eat.

 

Strangely, around midnight I do feel hungry, mostly for carbs. But if I eat I occasionally get cramps in my lower abdomen. I can fall asleep but the pain gradually worsens till the morning. I need to be very careful with food when this happens, so I don't eat much.  If the pain is unbearable I take pepto bismol. 

 

Even more awkward, by 8 AM I'm not hungry anymore and have much less of an appetite. 

 

My GI issues are not the trigger for my appetite loss.  Is your appetite loss only triggered when you have stomach symptoms? Also, when you do get an appetite, is it like it has never gone? 

 

As for your stomach issues, did you consult with Gastroenterologist? Maybe you have an inflamed region in your GI system that can be treated and put an end to your suffering. I have an appointment this week. Will keep you updated.

 

thanks again Anthony! 

  

[Anthony75]

Hi @CloudyToday,

Hope you're doing well. I really apologize for taking so long to get back to you. I wasn't feeling well during moving back to California or before that actually and once I got finished unloading the truck I crashed and haven't had a wave that bad in a while. Still in it but feeling able to function. 

 

I think that it's great that you get hungry at least at some point in the day. Also that you can make yourself eat. That's huge in my opinion. I know it's still a struggle and please don't think I'm making light of your appetite loss and stomach issues. I just think it's great you can do that. I truly believe it will get better for you it has for me. 

 

Yes only in a wave do I loose my appetite due to stomach issues. All of my waves are both mental and physical with always stomach issues involved. Always physical in the beginning of the wave and ending with mental but stomach issues are always there. Cramping is definitely one of the symptoms. Just in the last 6 months if the wave is not too bad I can force myself to eat without vomiting and other issues. But just like you I have to be careful of what I eat. My stomach also gets worse throughout the night after eating into morning. In a full wave yes it's like I never had stomach issues or appetite loss. I can eat and have a healthy appetite. 

 

For me I believe that my stomach issues are still withdrawal symptoms. It just doesn't make sense that it all goes away in a window. 

 

How did your Gastroenterologist appointment go?

 

 

[Anthony75]

2 hours ago, Anthony75 said:

In a full wave yes it's like I never had stomach issues or appetite loss. I can eat and have a healthy appetite. 

 

Sorry. In a full window not wave.

[CloudyToday]

@Anthony75Hi!

It's been a while since your last message, and I'm sorry for my slow response. 

 

I hope that your wave is over by now and you are in a window again and feel better. 

 

My situation has changed over the last month. On the positive side my appetite is slowly returning and I don't feel nauseous any more. I really thought I was out of the woods but then I have had tinnitus in both ears (I'm currently at 6.6 mg). My tinnitus sounds like a steam coming out of a pipe. It is not loud but it bothers my a lot. I do get every now and then some days of relief, and this gives me hope that it will fade away over time.

 

I'll be happy to read about your progress, when you will have a chance to post an update.

 

take care!

 

 

 

[Anthony75]

Hi @CloudyToday

 

No worries about the late reply I totally understand. I've been trying to reply to you for days now just couldn't make it happen. I'm coming out of another wave and I'm feeling better mentally to be able to reply. Technically I've been in a wave for about 8 months now with short pockets of windows but not the full windows I used to get.

 

I'm really happy to hear your appetite is returning and your nausea is gone. It will keep getting better for you for sure. I definitely understand how it feels to go through that. I personally haven't dealt with tinnitus I don't think. Since I was a teenager I have had significant ringing in my ears due to loud music, loud motorcycles, etc. So maybe I have had experiences with that but not sure. I believe the tinnitus will go away just like the nausea. You will definitely fully recover.

 

I think it's great that you're down to 6.6mg. That's awesome. You are almost there to being free of these so called medications. I would be happier than a pig in s**t if I was at 6.6mg. I wish I would of done some research before CT Paxil. Proud of you for doing it the right way.  

 

Hope this message finds you in a good place. Whenever you want to talk I'm here. Also if you have any questions just ask. Feels good to talk to someone going through the same thing. Hopefully talk to you soon. Take Care.

[Anthony75]

 

Hi @Gridley

 

How are you doing? Would you mind if I asked you a couple questions? Please let me know if I'm bothering you. Looking forward to your reply. 

[Gridley]

3 hours ago, Anthony75 said:

Would you mind if I asked you a couple questions?

I'm in the U.S. for surgery, so I'm taking a break from moderating for a while.  Sorry I can't help right now.

[Anthony75]

@Gridley

 

Thank you for getting back to me I really appreciate it. Hope you have a speedy recovery. Wishing you the best. Thank you again, Anthony

[Anthony75]

Hi @Altostrata

How are you doing? Would you mind giving me your opinion on a couple things. I know you’re busy and totally understand if you can’t. Hope to hear from you.
Best wishes, Anthony 

[Altostrata]

What are your questions?

[Anthony75]

Hi @Altostrata

Thank you for getting back to me I really appreciate it. I’ve read everything I can get my hands on regarding reinstatement. I read a couple things on reinstatement not fully working. In your opinion when should I consider that I’m not going to fully reinstate with the Paxil and be symptom free? Thank you again for your quick response and for helping me. 

[Altostrata]

What drugs are you taking now, at what times o'clock? What is your current symptom pattern?

[Anthony75]

@Altostrata

Paxil 50mg at 12p.m.

Levothyroxine 100mcg at 12:30p.m.

Klonopin 2mg at 12a.m.

Multivitamin, fish oil, & vitamin d3 once a day with food if I’m able to eat.

Magnesium 12a.m.

 

Still in windows and waves. One of the differences in symptom pattern is coming up on a year now I have had constant stomach issues which include constant pain, sharp gas pains, & trapped gas. Sometimes nausea is present but not all the time. Before this I only got stomach issues while in a wave. Other physical and mental symptoms are still in the windows and wave pattern. If I’m having no mental symptoms and my stomach issues are mild I feel like I’m almost in a full window. Also I used to have a general timeline of how long the windows and waves would last. Now it’s just random with no pattern. I hope this all makes sense and I’m not confusing you. Would you like me to list my remaining symptoms? Thank you again.

[Altostrata]

When was the last time you had a change in your thyroid treatment?

 

How long have you been taking Klonopin? Please add this to your signature.

 

Please keep daily notes of times of day you take your drugs, their dosages, and your symptoms throughout the day. Post 24 hours of notes at a time in this topic, in a simple list format with time of day on the left and notation (symptom or drug and dosage) on the right. This can help us understand your symptoms.

[Anthony75]

@Altostrata

I get blood tests for my thyroid every six months and levels have been the same for years with no change to my dosage. I’ve been taking Klonopin since 1993. I will start posting daily notes as instructed. Thank you for your time I really appreciate it. 

[Anthony75]

@Altostrata

 

5/30/2023

 

7:30 a.m. Woke up with stomach pain, sharp gas pains, trapped gas, & nausea. Also feeling anxious 

8:30 a.m. Laid back in bed due to my stomach 

10 a.m. Having S.I., anxiety & stomach issues 

12 p.m. Took 50mg of Paxil 

12:30 p.m. Took 100mcg of Levothyroxine

2 p.m. Feeling the same 

3 p.m. Starting to get a headache. Still having the same stomach issues. S.I. calmed down almost gone. Anxiety is better but still present 

4 p.m. Should eat something but stomach is still bothering me & no appetite. 

4:30 p.m. Still having a headache. Had a few dizzy brain zaps when I look to the left. Stomach issues, mild S.I. are still present 

5 p.m. Played catch with my dog but had to stop. Moving around makes my stomach worse.

5:45 p.m. Laying in bed to try to calm down my stomach.

7 p.m. Feeling dizzy even though I’m laying down. Stomach feels worse. Still having mild S.I. & headache 

9 p.m. Having dizzy spells not constant as earlier. Otherwise feeling the same 

11:30 p.m. Still having moderate stomach issues, mild S.I. & headache. Dizziness seemed to go away. 

12 a.m. Took Klonopin 2mg and magnesium 

3 a.m. Went to sleep 

 

Today wasn’t bad mentally compared to how bad it can get. Didn’t eat today due to stomach issues and no appetite. 95% of the time after I eat my stomach is much worse.

 

 

 

 

[Anthony75]

@Altostrata

 

5/31/2023

 

6:30 a.m. Woke up with bad stomach pains, trapped gas, S.I., fear, anxiety, headache, & dizziness 

7 a.m. Laid back in bed not feeling well 

12 p.m. Took 50mg of Paxil 

12:30 p.m. Took 100mcg of Levothyroxine

1 p.m. Laid back in bed. Still feeling the same as when I woke up 

3 p.m. Still laying in bed with stomach pain, trapped gas, SI, anxiety, & headache. Dizziness is better but still present 

6 p.m. Still laying in bed with stomach pain, trapped gas, & headache. S.I. Is mild. Anxiety & dizziness are gone.

7 p.m. Made myself eat a banana and now my stomach is worse 

8 p.m. S.I. & low mood 

10:30 p.m. Still laying in bed with stomach pain, sharp gas pains, trapped gas, nausea, heartburn, headache, S.I. & low mood.

12 a.m. Took Klonopin 2mg & Magnesium

4 a.m. Went to sleep