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Tootsieroll

Where are all the success stories? Does nobody ever heal?

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Christian

Oh geez I'm sorry about that. The Fog is extra thick tonight. I shouldn't be posting when it is!

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Alua

No its not you I read it back and didn't make it clear Christian...I have a habit of doing that! Hope you get some sleep. X

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Tootsieroll

In my community which is a small one (16,000 people) of just the people I know, I can tell you the following success stories.

A) 75 year old man been on Paxil twice for approximately 4 years in total following a suicide attempt. He said they never helped him and he went off slowly over a year. That was about 6 years ago and he is fine.

B) a close friend of mine been on them twice. Had to ct once as pregnant a she said most horrific experience of her life. She went on them again for 4 years and weaned off slowly. She said for months and months afterwards it felt like her head was lifting off her scalp. She is doing fine 7 years later.

C) a member on here who has not posted her success story, too busy enjoying life. She was on pristiq 2 years weaned off over about 4 months and after a year of symptoms said she was finally living again.

D) a friend of mine on ads first Lexapro and then mostly pristiq 100mg for 3 years. Ct off 100mg pristiq and was terrible for about six weeks still suffers slightly but is doing great 1 year later.

E) a lady from my gym on zoloft for 2 years had to wean off due to pregnancy. 6 months off horrific initial withdrawals and now doing well.

F) a close friend on zoloft 15 years weaned off over a month that. Been off them a year still suffers horrible depression always will, insomnia, initial dizziness very bad but she is doing well despite that said she will never go back on. Credits the gym for helping her through. She did this with 5 kids to look after. She was bad on the drugs I remember one day meeting her at the park and she told me she had written suicide letters to all the kids and then burned them.

 

I know of others too probably at least half a dozen but they weaned off slowly and did not really suffer any withdrawal.

 

I come on these sites and I also look for success stories as a source of inspiration and hope during an awful time. The reality in my opinion is there are success stories all around us but many of them do not write on this forum. Those on this forum do not always come back either to write their success stories.

 

I tell everybody in my path about the horror of these drugs, and am astounded by how many people I have spoken to whom have had a negative experience with ads. Gosh even the shrink who writes my compounding scripts had an experience with them herself. Took 3 pills in two weeks became violently ill and had two car crashes!

Wow thank you for taking the time to write all this.  So comforting to see that there is an end to this darkness.  Though I do see a correlation even among your short list, it seems the ones that were on for a very short period healed much quicker than say someone who has been on for 15 years.  If that's not proof enough of the amount of damage done than I'm not sure what is!!  Nonetheless, healing does happen regardless of duration drug was taken, that is the thought I hold on to.

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btdt

I think it is highly individual and  depends on a number of factors. Genetics, degree and type of damage which of course varies from person to person, damage by other drugs, age etc. There are people who recover in a couple of months and some that haven't recovered in fifteen years.  

Can you list any who have not improved in 15 years as I think that as longer than any time line I have ever seen... it would make a difference to me and maybe some of my future choices.

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btdt

Just checking to see the list of those not healed in 15 years... nobody?

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servadei

http://www.mindfreedom.org/personal-stories

"The MindFreedom Personal Story Project collects histories from psychiatric survivors and mental health consumers about their experiences of survival, resistance, recovery and self-determination in the mental health system. Many participants in the project have struggled through difficult emotional times, and all have suffered through psychiatric labeling and an often abusive and patronizing mental health system, yet they survived, and even thrive."

 

Don't know if anybody posted this already but here you go people.

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btdt

And here I sit at 8 years 7 months and 20 days off.... not sure if I should do battle here or just not bother cause nobody wants to hear it anyway.... 

 

I will just say we are out here if you choose to acknowledge us or not we exist

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servadei

btdt, what symptoms do you have?

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btdt

btdt, what symptoms do you have?

read my thread the link is at the end of all my posts 

happy reading

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alex

btdt,you sound bitter and angry.Not very good for this process...

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btdt

It seems you are very much recovered... I am not sure what is going on with me but I feel very much not recovered just now it could be I have a brain tumour ... that is what we say isn't it but whatever it is sure feel like good old wd.  I suggest 8 years of this coming and going is different than 3 or 5 even... at 5 I had a timeline of 7 I was hoping for to be completely healed.  If I sound bitter or angry... maybe I am.  I can't discern exactly how I feel other than fed up and confused.  If your comment was meant to be helpful to in some way inspired me to be not bitter or angry ( was it a reminder that my attitude is keeping me sick to stop having that attitude?)  I am a bit better today and I don't think my attitude had anything to do with it... I have many times pulled myself and others up ... and laid down the battle fatigues in order to reach a more healing place... it has not held... why...I do not know.  

 

Suggesting to me at this point that I am not doing enough to help myself when I know I am doing the very best I can hurts.  

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btdt

I thought about bitter...and angry some more after I made the last post I thought of all the posts I have read in 8 years from people who were so angry at how wd had affected their lives and their families how anger is a part of wd of all the threads talking about anger and rage even in wd... about neuro emotions... there are a lot of anger angles if you put the two words together it is an almost endless array of withdrawal site posts chapters in books written on the subject... almost endless. 

 

Anger is part of this beast no matter how you look at it I would doubt anybody gets thru this process without having to face anger in its many forms.  There are times when we are fragile anger can be an enemy or even dangerous but there will come a time when anger has been mostly wrestled to its knees a different type of anger is found sitting like a solid stone born of experience and of knowledge each of us come to know our own truth and it becomes light to the path forward. That is how it seems to me at some point in time anger shifts it can become an empowering force it can just sit solid waiting to be tapped it is not always negative to know anger sometimes it is a signpost or a light. 

 

Anger can be a good thing a very good thing.

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Christian

BTDT,

I'm sorry you are struggling for so long. In regards to your symptoms, many of us come to the site on our phones so can't see signatures. Do you mind me asking what are the symptoms that you think are holding you back. I'm 8 months into my adverse reaction. 14 months since I was last stable on lexapro. I have to say the cognitive impairment and severe waves of boat like feelings keep me from being functional.

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compsports

btdt,you sound bitter and angry.Not very good for this process...

Alex,

 

With all due respect, it is our suppressing "unacceptable" emotions like bitterness and anger that caused most of us to be placed on these meds.   As a result, I fail to understand why you have a problem with them and telling someone to stop feeling a certain way comes across as very unsupportive even though I am sure that wasn't your intention.

 

Also, keep in mind that when someone posts what may seem like a post that is too negative to you, they may not be telling the whole story of what they have tried in their recovery.   They may have tried a "million" things to move forward in a positive direction only to feel like everything blew up in their face. Anyone would feel discouraged in that situation.

 

And even if they have tried zilch, they still deserve to be supported in a positive manner of encouragement that is accepting of all emotions whether they be positive or negative.

 

CS

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Hibari

I thought about bitter...and angry some more after I made the last post I thought of all the posts I have read in 8 years from people who were so angry at how wd had affected their lives and their families how anger is a part of wd of all the threads talking about anger and rage even in wd... about neuro emotions... there are a lot of anger angles if you put the two words together it is an almost endless array of withdrawal site posts chapters in books written on the subject... almost endless. 

 

Anger is part of this beast no matter how you look at it I would doubt anybody gets thru this process without having to face anger in its many forms.  There are times when we are fragile anger can be an enemy or even dangerous but there will come a time when anger has been mostly wrestled to its knees a different type of anger is found sitting like a solid stone born of experience and of knowledge each of us come to know our own truth and it becomes light to the path forward. That is how it seems to me at some point in time anger shifts it can become an empowering force it can just sit solid waiting to be tapped it is not always negative to know anger sometimes it is a signpost or a light. 

 

Anger can be a good thing a very good thing.

Anger can be a Very good thing.  It has energy and the power to move us forward even when we are sitting still.

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stan

hello btdt

 

i want to say hello, your box message seem not function for me, maybe i made wrong, i am not specialist 

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alex

 

btdt,you sound bitter and angry.Not very good for this process...

Alex,

 

With all due respect, it is our suppressing "unacceptable" emotions like bitterness and anger that caused most of us to be placed on these meds.   As a result, I fail to understand why you have a problem with them and telling someone to stop feeling a certain way comes across as very unsupportive even though I am sure that wasn't your intention.

 

Also, keep in mind that when someone posts what may seem like a post that is too negative to you, they may not be telling the whole story of what they have tried in their recovery.   They may have tried a "million" things to move forward in a positive direction only to feel like everything blew up in their face. Anyone would feel discouraged in that situation.

 

And even if they have tried zilch, they still deserve to be supported in a positive manner of encouragement that is accepting of all emotions whether they be positive or negative.

 

CS

 

I am sorry I meant no harm.

I feel bitter and angry sometimes also.

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btdt

BTDT,

I'm sorry you are struggling for so long. In regards to your symptoms, many of us come to the site on our phones so can't see signatures. Do you mind me asking what are the symptoms that you think are holding you back. I'm 8 months into my adverse reaction. 14 months since I was last stable on lexapro. I have to say the cognitive impairment and severe waves of boat like feelings keep me from being functional.

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/

happy reading I have been on this site only since 2011  before that I was in wd since 2008 close to 9 years now many other support sites that are now closed in the early years that you can't read

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btdt

 

btdt,you sound bitter and angry.Not very good for this process...

Alex,

 

With all due respect, it is our suppressing "unacceptable" emotions like bitterness and anger that caused most of us to be placed on these meds.   As a result, I fail to understand why you have a problem with them and telling someone to stop feeling a certain way comes across as very unsupportive even though I am sure that wasn't your intention.

 

Also, keep in mind that when someone posts what may seem like a post that is too negative to you, they may not be telling the whole story of what they have tried in their recovery.   They may have tried a "million" things to move forward in a positive direction only to feel like everything blew up in their face. Anyone would feel discouraged in that situation.

 

And even if they have tried zilch, they still deserve to be supported in a positive manner of encouragement that is accepting of all emotions whether they be positive or negative.

 

CS

 

Thanks Comsports while all things are different in wd... we do try to make allowances for people who are in a bad mood and need to write something a bit not nice or what seems to others to be not nice it is one of the complications of wd sites... fear is a big part of that I am sure.  Early on I may have made the same type post to a person who was almost 9 years out and still not done who knows. Thanks non the less the support is heartfelt as in I felt it in my heart :)

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btdt

that is ok 

 

 

 

btdt,you sound bitter and angry.Not very good for this process...

Alex,

 

With all due respect, it is our suppressing "unacceptable" emotions like bitterness and anger that caused most of us to be placed on these meds.   As a result, I fail to understand why you have a problem with them and telling someone to stop feeling a certain way comes across as very unsupportive even though I am sure that wasn't your intention.

 

Also, keep in mind that when someone posts what may seem like a post that is too negative to you, they may not be telling the whole story of what they have tried in their recovery.   They may have tried a "million" things to move forward in a positive direction only to feel like everything blew up in their face. Anyone would feel discouraged in that situation.

 

And even if they have tried zilch, they still deserve to be supported in a positive manner of encouragement that is accepting of all emotions whether they be positive or negative.

 

CS

 

I am sorry I meant no harm.

I feel bitter and angry sometimes also.

 

that is ok see the post above I have had my days too...many of them this is a difficult process to understand it takes time and living it and struggle and a few bouts of overcoming or just existing thru severe crap you think your not going to survive to give you some anger of the rock kind.... 

anger is normal in this is my take on it

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btdt

hello btdt

 

i want to say hello, your box message seem not function for me, maybe i made wrong, i am not specialist 

my email if full I deleted one today to make some room I am not up to making decisions on what to keep and what to delete just now should be room for one at least.... 

Hi Stan I don't think your wrong I now have a movement disorder not happy about it working on finding the cause... 

peace to you

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Chicago77

I promise all of you when I'm recovered, I will come back and write about it. It's the least I can do, especially when so many people on this site have helped me thus far in my journey. It's been truly hell and I think we all want to read a positive story when you are in the midst of all of this. It's so hard for the people around you to understand what you are going through because they are not living it. Honestly, if I wasn't going through this, then I wouldn't probably understand either. It's here that we come looking for answers, hope, support. It's the success stories that give us that hope when you REALLY need it. If anyone is reading this post in 2018 or 2019(assuming I'm recovered by then), I PROMISE you will see a success story from me on here. I hope that anyone else that is reading this does the same when they are recovered. It's important to give back and share your success with others who are still suffering. Then after that, go live your life and enjoy every moment of it SSRI free!!! You deserve it!   :D

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Madeleine

I keep wondering about this too.... i.e. why don't more people come back and post their success story....

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Rockingchaircat

I added my success story today.

 

Yes it takes awhile.  But it's worth it.

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januaryeve

I am wondering if there is anyone in the world who has successfully quit SSRIs or benzodiazapines, AFTER:

1)longterm use

AND

2)serious withdrawal problems

 

I searched on this site and another and found nothing helpful. I found people who said they'd never had a serious problem, or who were on the drugs briefly and withdrew with no problem.

 

Those are NOT the people I want to hear from.

 

I am talking about people whose lives were seriously affected with withdrawal symptoms. And particularly people whose withdrawal problems lasted a long time. That is me. I am looking for evidence that there is proof that this will end.

 

For instance, I read something by altostrata that she has been in withdrawal for 6 years and is not yet really successful.

 

Is there someone who has had success AFTER SEVERE PROBLEMS? I am happy for those of you who have had no or few or light problems, but you are not the ones who can help me here.

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Happy2Heal

well I don't know what you would call severe problems......what symptoms are you having?

I am tapering off of lexapro. I was on it since 2002. (as you can see in my signature, I've been on a lot of psych drugs for decades)

I tried to get off the lexapro a couple of times, but the withdrawal symptoms were so awful, I went back on.

 

In June 2015, I decided I'd try again. I did not know that I needed to taper a lot slower than I was, so I went down quite quickly from 20 mgs in June to 2.5mgs by Dec.

When I got down that low, I wasn't able to sleep at all- and I got these awful rages, where I was yelling at ppl and couldn't stop.

My dr (an internist) told me to take the 2.5mgs every other day and then stop.
Thankfully, I found this forum and realized that was the wrong thing to do.

So I stayed at 2.5 mgs from Dec 2015 til late May 2106.  It was then that I made a big mistake. I didn't think the WD symptoms were all that bad, and I'd forgotten to take the lexapro for a couple of days due to having company from out of town.
I decided to just stop taking it, and basically "jumped off" at 2.5mg

 

I seemed to do ok for awhile, except for some severe muscle spasms and trouble sleeping, and awful night sweats, but then in late Sept, I "crashed" and ended up with almost 50 different symptoms, all severe.

You can read my thread if you like, to see what they were and to see if it compares to what you are going thru.

 

I reinstated at a tiny dose of lexapro and have been gradually improving since then.

each day, I got a tiny bit better. I had some waves of bad symptoms and I made some mistakes, adding supplements that didn't help and other things like that, but overall, my progress has been pretty steady in the positive direction.

 

I now only have a few symptoms, mostly I just don't sleep as much as I'd like to but I am finally getting some restful sleep.

 

I am still on a tiny dose of lexapro, 0.25mgs, so I am not a success story by any means, but I can tell you that, even though I messed up, going on and off the drug too many times, and up and down in the dose,

I HAVE been healing and getting better, and I expect that I will recover fully in time.

 

I am 61yrs old and have been on psych meds for decades. I was on SSRIs (zoloft, celexa and lexapro) for about 20 yrs

 

I have a lot of faith that most if not all people will heal eventually.

 

There ARE other stories of members with an even longer med history than mine, who have healed or who are healing now.

I will try to find some links for you.

 

 

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Happy2Heal
Madeleine

I think what January eve is looking for is people who were on a long time wnd had a rough time and now are drug free and feeling fine and no longer suffering.

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manymoretodays

Could be Madeline. 

 

Windows are great and do get longer.  I feel like I had some pretty severe stuff going on.......I mean I think most of us long termers of usage have......that are here anyway.  I found for a time that not reading so many of the stories actually helped me.........when I was in the thick of it........it just seemed to make it harder.  And then......there were times when I didn't know I was in W/D and suffered pretty badly unawares of what was going on really.   Be careful with expectations too.  Somebody has in their signature something like........expectations can be part of the cause of suffering.  I struggle from time to time.......I no longer suffer..........seems to make a difference to me.

 

I am wondering what januaryeve means by successful?  Perhaps we all have a little bit of a different take on that?  What's a good day?  Is success defined by society or by each individual?  I just know for myself.

 

I haven't had the experience of W/D from Xanax though......just a lot of AD's and others..........SSRI's, yes on that one.  Brief usages of klonopin and ativan only.

 

Hope you ARE having a good enough day everybody and finding some relief januaryeve.

 

Best, health and healing,

 

mmt

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manymoretodays

Oh hey.....just thinking.......and on the other hand(regarding my first post).......in the beginning after I was here and in the throes of W/D symptoms someone shared how they just stayed signed in and I did that a few times......and read a little or just hung out somewhere on the site.  It sure helped, as far as that feeling of being so alone sometimes with this stuff, in a world where there just aren't many in "real life" who "get it" or acknowledge it.......the whole W/D thing.

 

So there is that.

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Cipramillion

I was in hell, felt suicidal, braindead and totalle messed up, but the light got through the cracks eventually. Im now off lexapro and working 100%. 

 

People do get better over time with the right tapering schedule. 

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januaryeve

Catnapt,

 

Thank you for your post. It is very helpful to me. Your symptoms sound more severe than mine, although it all depends on description.

 

Your post definitely gives me hope, which is what I am looking for.

 

I haven't read your post with links yet, but I will soon.

 

I am 68. I am almost off Prozac taken for 27 years so far. I had symptoms, but I didn't know that's what they were. (I just thought I was crazy.) So I went on a small dose of Xanax to treat what were probably Prozac withdrawal effects. When I went off the Xanax on Nov. 6, 2016, I got severe muscle pain 1 to 2 days later. And I thought that was my only Xanax problem.

 

After that began getting better, mid Feb., 2017, I got or realized I had memory, cognition and focus problems.  Plus I have had insomnia since the 1980s or before.

 

Here is something that might help you with insomnia. I tried it several years ago, quit, and now I am doing again, started 3 days/2 nights ago: a lightbox, the kind used for seasonal affective disorder. They are apparently now used for insomnia, depression, SAD, and regular depression. They say you have to be careful with them if you have mania, because they can cause that. Also, there are some other health reasons not to use them, some types of eye problems, I believe. So check out the information on them before you try one. If you haven't already tried this.

 

The first day I used it, it helped me even before nighttime, because it reduced my strong daytime sleepiness. I am sleepy during the day almost all the time.

 

After 2 nights and 3 days use, I am still feeling somewhat more cheerful and less sleepy during the day. My nighttime sleep is definitely better. Last night I slept well from 10:15 pm to 6 am.

 

The brand/model I am using is Carex Daylight Sky. Before I had the Carex model with the skinny legs. I wouldn't recommend that one, because it is hard to keep it in place; it is wobbly and the knobs to control the angle don't hold

 

Thanks again for your encouraging post!

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januaryeve

Chessie Cat,

 

Thank you so much for the link to GiaK's website. I watched one of her videos. She is inspiring and seems like a real leader. I will be spending more time on her site.

 

I would also like to say to others who responded to my question about "success" that I will be reading and responding to your posts soon. I am not ignoring you, I just have to do this a few at a time. I don't even know how many posts there are. But I am already excited and encouraged, and I have more belief that I will get better.

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januaryeve

Madeleine,

 

Yes, that's similar to what I am asking. What happened is, I saw  a question like mine on another site, and the only responses were people saying, "Well, I never really had a problem."

 

I wanted to make it clear that this is not going to help me deal with my fear that I may never get better, even though I am glad for people who never had a problem.

 

I really don't care how long a person was on, as long as they thought it was difficult coming off their drug or drugs. Then I want to hear from them if they succeeded.

 

 

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januaryeve

 

Could be Madeline. 

 

Windows are great and do get longer.  I feel like I had some pretty severe stuff going on.......I mean I think most of us long termers of usage have......that are here anyway.  I found for a time that not reading so many of the stories actually helped me.........when I was in the thick of it........it just seemed to make it harder.  And then......there were times when I didn't know I was in W/D and suffered pretty badly unawares of what was going on really.   Be careful with expectations too.  Somebody has in their signature something like........expectations can be part of the cause of suffering.  I struggle from time to time.......I no longer suffer..........seems to make a difference to me.

 

I am wondering what januaryeve means by successful?  Perhaps we all have a little bit of a different take on that?  What's a good day?  Is success defined by society or by each individual?  I just know for myself.

 

I haven't had the experience of W/D from Xanax though......just a lot of AD's and others..........SSRI's, yes on that one.  Brief usages of klonopin and ativan only.

 

Hope you ARE having a good enough day everybody and finding some relief januaryeve.

 

Best, health and healing,

 

mmt

 

Thanks for your post, mmt. I'm not sure how I would define overall success. What I was thinking of most when I started this thread is my muscle pain.

 

I've had "depression" and "anxiety" my whole life. I'd like them to go away, and I'm working on that, and improving. This muscle pain is new, and started between 24 and 48 hours after going off a small dose of Xanax. It's interfering with some of the things I do to deal with other problems.

 

That is what I was wondering about when I made the post. But also, I just wanted to know if other people felt they ever got back to their normal selves, whatever normal means to them. That is, did the problems caused by drug treatment go away.

 

What's so surprising is to me is that in the last 4 days or so my muscle pain has decreased to an amazing extent. And it happened pretty much exactly concurrently with use of a light box.

 

What I think is happening is that my body couldn't heal because I wasn't sleeping. (Insomnia is a long term problem for me. I had it for many, many years, but it strongly worsened in 1990, the very first night I took Prozac. I also have severe daytime sleepiness, also very longterm.) I have slept well the last three nights. The daytime sleepiness problem is continuing, with varying intensity.

 

Now, that I may not have to worry about muscle pain, I can find other symptoms to worry about! :D

 

(quote from mmt:) . . . there were times when I didn't know I was in W/D and suffered pretty badly unawares of what was going on really.

 

Yes! I think that's what happened to me, mmt, and also the reason I thought I needed Xanax. Because I was acting and feeling very strange and awful and I didn't know why. You would think the psychiatrist and psychologist treating me while I was tapering slowly off most of my Prozac dose could have mentioned "withdrawal symptoms."

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