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Where are all the success stories? Does nobody ever heal?


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On 2017-5-27 at 4:30 PM, hacilar said:

"I have been sent a post about Hacilar reacting badly to a Tin of sardines."

 

hacilar has never in her life ate a tin of sardines; I'm not sure what you're referring to..sorry

 

Monica C has backed off on her views about histamines.  I've already altered my diet radically, and in that I can't even think or read well right now, to figure out tricks or to understand processes is beyond my abilities.

 

I used to be smart, and my brain does come back online now and then, but to founder over comprehension while reading technical articles is a huge blow.  This must be what it's like for some dementia sufferers as they fade...

I am surprised Monica has changed her mind on this but I am not up to the research to see why. If you could say in a sentence or two I would appreciate it.

 

" I can't even think or read well right now, to figure out tricks or to understand processes is beyond my abilities."  I have spent much of the last 10 years in and out of this state and know it well. 

 

This whatever it is is this process is ever changing... what works at one point does not work in the next stage it does not follow a linear path.  The brain does not work on a linear path either so I guess this is why healing is not linear. I just wish it was not so confusing and complex. It is tricky to get my sea legs if and when I do it never lasts... not for 10 years anyway.  

Some things get better and stay better new things come... that is my take on it tho I may not be joining the dots of things that I do not think are connected because I don't know exactly how the brain works... I do know it is not what science expected... or that is my present impression of past reading. 

WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG
Had a car accident in 85
Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89
Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year
Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above.
One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking.

As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/

There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in :)

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As someone mentioned somewhere earlier--as our process undulates and flows over the years, our tolerances and sensitivities shift and change.

 

It could be that I misunderstood Monica on her site, but there's a disclaimer at the bottom of the 'histamine' topics where she walks back her emphasis on staying away from certain foods.

 

I know I can't tell for the life of me if I truly am 'gluten sensitive' or whether or not staying away from grains has served me at all.  I know I still do not dare eat chocolate or drink caffeinated beverages.  I'm considering testing the limits on B vitamins which previously revved me up horribly.

 

We *are* all different.

 

Sorry about scaring folks, but how does it serve the body of knowledge to deny the facts so we don't 'scare' people?

21 years of various psych meds.

Currently experiencing 'withdrawal syndrome' from 14 years of 0.5mg Klonopin: 1 q hs

Tapered over a year and a half dry cutting.

Hx of Imipramine (nightmare) (1992) Zoloft,(1992) Paxil (difficult to d/c)(2000) Effexor(2004-5) (also very difficult to d/c) Lamictal(2004-6), Neurontin(2004-6), Depakote(2006-2012), Remeron(2007) Various sleeping pills at different times...

 

UPDATE

Month 40 post Benzo taper

 

there have been windows, sometimes weeks of feeling 'almost normal' and the BLAM

 

windows and waves, indeed

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  • Moderator Emeritus
28 minutes ago, hacilar said:

Sorry about scaring folks, but how does it serve the body of knowledge to deny the facts so we don't 'scare' people?

 

It definitely does not serve "the body of knowledge" as that is something that, in order to be worthwhile, must be open to all different opinions.

 

It can, however, damage "the body of the reader" in that some people, with a highly sensitized CNS, will react adversely to being sent into fight or flight over the fear of "what if I don't heal."  

 

In my mind, however, the solution is for those people to not read a sight that is titled "do you believe in chronic damage?"  Clearly, based on that title, there will be discussion around a topic those people feel uncomfortable about.  Rather than censoring this thread it is really incumbent upon the members to self-censor in my opinion.

 

Best,

 

Andy

Sertraline 50mg and Clonazapam .375mg from 2000 -- symptoms of dizziness Spring 2012

increased to .5 Clonazapam and 100mg Sertraline -- no improvement

Benzo microtaper from November 2012 to November 2014 (followed benzo sites "taper benzo first")

Started Sertraline taper in December 2014 cut by 25mg to 75mg; 62.5mg 1/1/15 and 50mg on 2/1/15

Held at 50mg through April 5 to use liquid 
Reduced dosage in 10% or less drops from 50mg to 25mg -- at single tablet of 25mg on 10/5/15

Transitioned to all liquid for accuracy while tapering -- Horrible insomnia -- back to 25mg liquid and held until October 1, 2016

10/16 -- 11/18 tapered very slowly to 10.6mg.  No real improvement and never really stable so updosed to 12.5mg (1/2 a pill) for convenience and long hold.

After 8+ months of holding with no noticeable improvement decided to add .4ml of liquid Prozac (about 1.5mg) to see if that improves the situation

Supplements, Magnesium, D3, Omega 3, curcumin, Valerian, 81mg Aspirin, L-Theanine, Vit. C,

 

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As for body of knowledge Grace E Jackson has a couple of books if anyone is in a healing state where they may be able to understand it and they are of the mind that there is some damage and would like to find out what the damage is in order to heal it... her books or seeing her would be my first suggestion.  If she were in my country within my travel restrictions I would certainly see her. 

 

At some point there may be enough of us who have long term damage to start a satellite site I actually expect to see such a site in the future as either part of SA or completely separate.  The problem with such a site would be only those who have such damage would be interested in it and most if not all may be too damaged to actually run such a site.  Kind of a catch 22 like the one I live in when on meds... too dense to know your dense... so you don't do anything about it and the damage blossoms. Still I do expect it maybe with the help of parents kids of people damaged if not the actual people themselves but I am always optimistic that some will heal well enough to actually put something together... where there is life there is hope.

 

ps

Every site that covered this topic in the last10 years has had a thread that discussed this topic it never gets any sea legs as the proof is always missing or too hard for us to understand... It would seem that getting a handle on Grace and her body of work would be the place to start... this is still far beyond my abilities 

some links to look at if you happen to be one of the people who would like to look

 

Drug-Induced Dementia: a perfect crime (9781438972312): MD Grace ...

This item:Drug-Induced Dementia: a perfect crime by MD Grace E. Jackson Paperback $40.00 ...Rethinking Psychiatric Drugs: A Guide for Informed Consent by MD Grace E. Jackson Paperback ..... This is a courageous book by Dr. Jackson.

[PDF]What Doctors May Not Tell You About Psychiatric Drugs Grace E ...

psychrights.org/Drugs/DrJacksonUCELecture(UK)09.06.04.pdf
  1.  
  2.  
by WD May - ‎Related articles
Sep 6, 2004 - Grace E. Jackson, MD ..... drugs was George Crane (you can read about him in a bookby Sheldon Gelman - he's actually an attorney who ...

Drug-Induced Dementia: A Perfect Crime - Author House

www.authorhouse.com/bookstore/bookdetail.aspx?bookid=SKU-000265309
  1.  
a perfect crime By Grace E. Jackson, MD ... A first-of-its-kind resource for patients and clinicians, thebook integrates research findings from epidemiology ...

Grace E. Jackson (Author of Rethinking Psychiatric Drugs) - Goodreads

www.goodreads.com/author/show/207192.Grace_E_Jackson
  1.  

Grace E. Jackson is the author of Rethinking Psychiatric Drugs (4.40 avg rating, 5 ratings, 0 reviews, published 2005) and ... Grace E. Jackson's Books. Grace E.

 

IF YOU HAPPEN TO BE NEW TO THIS STARTING HERE IS A MISTAKE... IN MY OPINION... THE FIRST 5 YEARS THIS WOULD NOT HAVE BEEN AN OK TOPIC FOR ME ...tho I will admit I read many things like this in those 5 years... they cost me some of my peace or potential peace that was my prime objective and a major part of healing to the extent I am.  It takes a long time in a peaceful state or as best you can get to peace for the body to heal the early stages of this.  

 

So if you are new there are many things to learn and do in this stage... leave this to those who made it out of the first stages... and take good care of yourself. 

I wish you all peace

WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG
Had a car accident in 85
Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89
Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year
Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above.
One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking.

As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/

There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in :)

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  • 7 months later...

I was just feeling a little disheartened by the disparity between how many people post on this site and how many write success stories. I know that this could mean that people just don't want to return to the site because the memory of withdrawal is so painful for them once they've recovered. But it's also scary knowing that another reason for the lack of success reports could be that people have a really difficult time healing and more often times than not it takes YEARS to heal. I've been off for 6 and a half months and I'm still dealing with brutal mental symptoms, and it's discouraging that when I REALLY need to read reports from people that have recovered, and I end up reading the same 5 stories that I've already read hundreds of times. Is it possible that some people just DON'T heal from this and we need to learn to live with the new circumstances that we've been dealt? I know this post is a little depressing, but I could really use some encouragement. Thanks to any of you that can provide feedback and/or reassurance. 

  1. Started Wellbutrin 75 mg IR the end of 2015.
  2. Tried quitting cold turkey in June 30th- July 3rd 2017.
  3. Had severe withdrawals.
  4. Was placed on Wellbutrin 100mg SR so I could taper without withdrawal.
  5. Stabilized on 100mg SR for most of the month of July.
  6. Started tapering on July 17th,  2017.
  7. Completed taper on August 8th, 2017.
  8. Currently experiencing severe withdrawal.
  • Symptoms- Currently experiencing anhedonia, depersonalization/derealization, concentration/memory issues, chronic congestion, chronic dry eyes, dry skin, dislocated TMJ joint from teeth grinding during C/T withdrawal, waves of depression, anxiety, nausea, morning cortisol spikes, insomnia, agitation, food sensitivities, no tolerance for caffeine and chronic fatigue, burning muscle pain in upper and lower back and occasional tinninitus.
  • Supplements- Omega-3 fish oil supplement twice daily, 100 mg of magnesium once daily. 
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.  What really amazes me are the people really suffering who are finding the bright side. A lot of people on here experience windows.  Have you had any of those? Maybe it’s an attitude thing. I keep waiting for a window. After reading through your posts it looks like you’ve had consistent waves and windows. So, you’ll probably be just fine. I’d be happy if I was in this type of pattern.  And you can cry? Wow. 

 

2001 Remeron , Celexa, prozac a week on lithium. 

2014 went off effexor and trazadone in 3 weeks. 

2014 zoloft (hyper reaction) put on effexor 75 mg. Was stable until 2017 

2017  Trazadone 50 mg (June) Effexor to 113 mg (2 weeks) Effexor 150 mg for a month . Took 75 mg until November. . Lithium 10 days, Lamactil 10 day  aug-nov15 ativan

October : Prozac bridge to get off 75 mg of effexor Used 10 mg of prozac. Stopped prozac 3 wk 

Dec 6, 7 Upped trazadone from 50 to 100 mg Did it for 3 days Stopped it

Dec 7 , Dec 8 Took prozac again 0.1 , 0.1, 0.6 stopped it

Dec 11 and Dec 12 upped it to 100 again

Dec 15 , 16,17 went back to 50 mg of trazadone

December 18 Began 3 beads of effexor  Dec 25 began 5 beads of effexor take 10 mg of omneprazole daily

 

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4 hours ago, Hellbutrin said:

I was just feeling a little disheartened by the disparity between how many people post on this site and how many write success stories. I know that this could mean that people just don't want to return to the site because the memory of withdrawal is so painful for them once they've recovered. But it's also scary knowing that another reason for the lack of success reports could be that people have a really difficult time healing and more often times than not it takes YEARS to heal. I've been off for 6 and a half months and I'm still dealing with brutal mental symptoms, and it's discouraging that when I REALLY need to read reports from people that have recovered, and I end up reading the same 5 stories that I've already read hundreds of times. Is it possible that some people just DON'T heal from this and we need to learn to live with the new circumstances that we've been dealt? I know this post is a little depressing, but I could really use some encouragement. Thanks to any of you that can provide feedback and/or reassurance. 

Stop the negativity you did (Pardon my french) A stupid taper of fewer than 2 months what are you expecting to feel good only after what 8 months or more? I Ct and had to reinstate and it took 3 months or more to stabilize and ion this drugs a lot less time than you 

+ i am doing a very slow taper (yes i am suffering like hell fighting suicidal feelings and depression ) but I refuse to give up and you shude refuse 2 , remember the older you are the longer it takes to recover especially on your circumstances pls be strong and let time do its thing I was like you wondering if I will be like this permanent but guess what I refuse to give up and I refuse to accept defeat and soo shude you  

I know we all suffer but I am sick of people already giving up I am 19 y old it shude be the older people in here to lift the young people because you guys have a lot more experience 

 

 

I am not here to offend you but pls don't give up and don't think negatively it will only keep you down 

Edited by MiguelFreeman
Forgot to add something

 

  1. Zoloft(Generic)100 mg From 06/06/2016 to 02/10/2016                         
  2. Lexapro(Generic) 20 MG From 03/10/2016 to 05/2017                               Supplements: vitamin complex 
  3. Lexapro (Generic) CT 05/2017 
  4. 6/08/17- reinstated 10mg Lexapro(Generic)(50%of original doses )
  5. 02/11/2017- 9 mg Lexapro(Generic) (10 % rule) (Homemade)
  6. 04/12/2017- 8.75mg Lexapro(Generic)(BrassMonkey slide)
  7. 19/12/2017- 8.5mg Lexapro(Generic)
  8. 06/02/2018- 8.35mg Lexapro (Generic)
  9. 16/2/2018- 8.22mg Lexapro(Generic)
  10. 25/2/2018- 8.09mg Lexapro (Generic)-05/03/2018- 7.9mg Lexapro (Generic)-28/03/2018-7.75mg Lexapro (Generic)-04/04/2018-7.66mg Lexapro (Generic)18/05/2018-7.64mg Lexapro (brand Liquid)
  11. 28/6/2018 7.50mg lexapro (Brand Liquid ) 15/7/2018 7.40 mg Lexapro(brand liquid) 7.30 mg Lexapro(Liquid) 27-07-2018
  12. Forgot to update this but i continued to taper down until 21/12/2019 and final dose was 1.3 mg  Time since Stoping  3y and 4 mouths
  13.  xanax 16-01-2023 started 0.25 whent to 0.5 RX 1 week Back to 0.25 
  14. corrent dose 0.25 devided in 4 parts 
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9 minutes ago, MiguelFreeman said:

Stop the negativity you did (Pardon my french) A stupid taper of fewer than 2 months what are you expecting to feel good only after what 8 months or more? I Ct and had to reinstate and it took 3 months or more to stabilize and ion this drugs a lot less time than you 

+ i am doing a very slow taper (yes i am suffering like hell fighting suicidal feelings and depression ) but I refuse to give up and you shude refuse 2 , remember the older you are the longer it takes to recover especially on your circumstances pls be strong and let time do its thing I was like you wondering if I will be like this permanent but guess what I refuse to give up and I refuse to accept defeat and soo shude you  

I know we all suffer but I am sick of people already giving up I am 19 y old it shude be the older people in here to lift the young people because you guys have a lot more experience 

Good for you! You will do it. I’m glad you’re doing it now. 

 

2001 Remeron , Celexa, prozac a week on lithium. 

2014 went off effexor and trazadone in 3 weeks. 

2014 zoloft (hyper reaction) put on effexor 75 mg. Was stable until 2017 

2017  Trazadone 50 mg (June) Effexor to 113 mg (2 weeks) Effexor 150 mg for a month . Took 75 mg until November. . Lithium 10 days, Lamactil 10 day  aug-nov15 ativan

October : Prozac bridge to get off 75 mg of effexor Used 10 mg of prozac. Stopped prozac 3 wk 

Dec 6, 7 Upped trazadone from 50 to 100 mg Did it for 3 days Stopped it

Dec 7 , Dec 8 Took prozac again 0.1 , 0.1, 0.6 stopped it

Dec 11 and Dec 12 upped it to 100 again

Dec 15 , 16,17 went back to 50 mg of trazadone

December 18 Began 3 beads of effexor  Dec 25 began 5 beads of effexor take 10 mg of omneprazole daily

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

If someone is doing well and getting on with living their life, coming back here is something that they probably don't even think about.

 

And of course in most instances it is the members who are suffering and need support who continue posting.

* NO LONGER ACTIVE on SA *

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED:  (6 year taper)      0mg Pristiq  on 13th November 2021

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021   LAST DOSE 0.0025mg

Post 0 updates start here    My tapering program     My Intro (goes to tapering graph)

 VIDEO:   Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management

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23 hours ago, Downbutnotout said:

.  What really amazes me are the people really suffering who are finding the bright side. A lot of people on here experience windows.  Have you had any of those? Maybe it’s an attitude thing. I keep waiting for a window. After reading through your posts it looks like you’ve had consistent waves and windows. So, you’ll probably be just fine. I’d be happy if I was in this type of pattern.  And you can cry? Wow. 

Yes, I can cry, but it's out of sheer panic that brings me to break down. It's not really the cathartic type of crying that one exhibits when they are sad about something. I "cry" when I get to the point where I feel complete and utter despair at the thought of this being permanent and never feeling like at least a semblance of the self that I once was again. It all sounds so profound, but I don't really know another way to describe the total terror that I feel constantly. I know that some people refer to this as a chemical fear, and I guess I can liken my experience to this term. I just want to know if there's ever an end and if I will be one of the lucky ones that have to wait years for recovery because I was ignorant of the long term effects of a C/T.

  1. Started Wellbutrin 75 mg IR the end of 2015.
  2. Tried quitting cold turkey in June 30th- July 3rd 2017.
  3. Had severe withdrawals.
  4. Was placed on Wellbutrin 100mg SR so I could taper without withdrawal.
  5. Stabilized on 100mg SR for most of the month of July.
  6. Started tapering on July 17th,  2017.
  7. Completed taper on August 8th, 2017.
  8. Currently experiencing severe withdrawal.
  • Symptoms- Currently experiencing anhedonia, depersonalization/derealization, concentration/memory issues, chronic congestion, chronic dry eyes, dry skin, dislocated TMJ joint from teeth grinding during C/T withdrawal, waves of depression, anxiety, nausea, morning cortisol spikes, insomnia, agitation, food sensitivities, no tolerance for caffeine and chronic fatigue, burning muscle pain in upper and lower back and occasional tinninitus.
  • Supplements- Omega-3 fish oil supplement twice daily, 100 mg of magnesium once daily. 
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21 hours ago, Touchtheclouds87 said:

I agree. I find it disheartening how few success stories I hear about. 

I totally agree, it just seems so hopeless. All of the success stories that I read are from people that have been going through HELL for YEARS, which doesn't help when I consider my own possible outcome because of my C/T.

  1. Started Wellbutrin 75 mg IR the end of 2015.
  2. Tried quitting cold turkey in June 30th- July 3rd 2017.
  3. Had severe withdrawals.
  4. Was placed on Wellbutrin 100mg SR so I could taper without withdrawal.
  5. Stabilized on 100mg SR for most of the month of July.
  6. Started tapering on July 17th,  2017.
  7. Completed taper on August 8th, 2017.
  8. Currently experiencing severe withdrawal.
  • Symptoms- Currently experiencing anhedonia, depersonalization/derealization, concentration/memory issues, chronic congestion, chronic dry eyes, dry skin, dislocated TMJ joint from teeth grinding during C/T withdrawal, waves of depression, anxiety, nausea, morning cortisol spikes, insomnia, agitation, food sensitivities, no tolerance for caffeine and chronic fatigue, burning muscle pain in upper and lower back and occasional tinninitus.
  • Supplements- Omega-3 fish oil supplement twice daily, 100 mg of magnesium once daily. 
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22 hours ago, ChessieCat said:

If someone is doing well and getting on with living their life, coming back here is something that they probably don't even think about.

 

And of course in most instances it is the members who are suffering and need support who continue posting.

I understand, I know that I won't be one of those people that doesn't feel a need to come back once in recovery. I feel like it's our civic duty and responsibility to come back and provide hope to those people that were here for us during the darkest time of our life. This is all provided that I do recover, which I'm becoming increasingly more doubtful of the longer I go without experiencing ANY change in my symptoms. 

  1. Started Wellbutrin 75 mg IR the end of 2015.
  2. Tried quitting cold turkey in June 30th- July 3rd 2017.
  3. Had severe withdrawals.
  4. Was placed on Wellbutrin 100mg SR so I could taper without withdrawal.
  5. Stabilized on 100mg SR for most of the month of July.
  6. Started tapering on July 17th,  2017.
  7. Completed taper on August 8th, 2017.
  8. Currently experiencing severe withdrawal.
  • Symptoms- Currently experiencing anhedonia, depersonalization/derealization, concentration/memory issues, chronic congestion, chronic dry eyes, dry skin, dislocated TMJ joint from teeth grinding during C/T withdrawal, waves of depression, anxiety, nausea, morning cortisol spikes, insomnia, agitation, food sensitivities, no tolerance for caffeine and chronic fatigue, burning muscle pain in upper and lower back and occasional tinninitus.
  • Supplements- Omega-3 fish oil supplement twice daily, 100 mg of magnesium once daily. 
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22 hours ago, MiguelFreeman said:

Stop the negativity you did (Pardon my french) A stupid taper of fewer than 2 months what are you expecting to feel good only after what 8 months or more? I Ct and had to reinstate and it took 3 months or more to stabilize and ion this drugs a lot less time than you 

+ i am doing a very slow taper (yes i am suffering like hell fighting suicidal feelings and depression ) but I refuse to give up and you shude refuse 2 , remember the older you are the longer it takes to recover especially on your circumstances pls be strong and let time do its thing I was like you wondering if I will be like this permanent but guess what I refuse to give up and I refuse to accept defeat and soo shude you  

I know we all suffer but I am sick of people already giving up I am 19 y old it shude be the older people in here to lift the young people because you guys have a lot more experience 

 

 

I am not here to offend you but pls don't give up and don't think negatively it will only keep you down 

Yes, I did do a "stupid" taper. But I was told by my DOCTOR that skipping doses was an appropriate way to taper, and I should be fine limiting my taper to eight weeks. If I had known the hellish terror that would ensue from this ignorance I would have extended my taper to at least a year, but unfortunately it's too late to go back on that decision now. But telling someone that they are "stupid" for their taper isn't helpful or encouraging. Don't patronize me by telling me that my its my responsibility to be an encouragement to others because of my age (I'm 28 btw) everyone here is suffering regardless of how old they are. Yes, I do feel like constantly giving up, but victim blaming doesn't help me feel better about my situation. I'm not giving up, but that doesn't mean that the thought doesn't cross my mind EVERYDAY. 

  1. Started Wellbutrin 75 mg IR the end of 2015.
  2. Tried quitting cold turkey in June 30th- July 3rd 2017.
  3. Had severe withdrawals.
  4. Was placed on Wellbutrin 100mg SR so I could taper without withdrawal.
  5. Stabilized on 100mg SR for most of the month of July.
  6. Started tapering on July 17th,  2017.
  7. Completed taper on August 8th, 2017.
  8. Currently experiencing severe withdrawal.
  • Symptoms- Currently experiencing anhedonia, depersonalization/derealization, concentration/memory issues, chronic congestion, chronic dry eyes, dry skin, dislocated TMJ joint from teeth grinding during C/T withdrawal, waves of depression, anxiety, nausea, morning cortisol spikes, insomnia, agitation, food sensitivities, no tolerance for caffeine and chronic fatigue, burning muscle pain in upper and lower back and occasional tinninitus.
  • Supplements- Omega-3 fish oil supplement twice daily, 100 mg of magnesium once daily. 
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I don't know if I would 

23 hours ago, Downbutnotout said:

.  What really amazes me are the people really suffering who are finding the bright side. A lot of people on here experience windows.  Have you had any of those? Maybe it’s an attitude thing. I keep waiting for a window. After reading through your posts it looks like you’ve had consistent waves and windows. So, you’ll probably be just fine. I’d be happy if I was in this type of pattern.  And you can cry? Wow. 

I don't know if I would really refer to my experience as "waves and windows", it's more like periods of feeling like hell alternating with periods of contemplating suicide just to escape feeling like hell. 

  1. Started Wellbutrin 75 mg IR the end of 2015.
  2. Tried quitting cold turkey in June 30th- July 3rd 2017.
  3. Had severe withdrawals.
  4. Was placed on Wellbutrin 100mg SR so I could taper without withdrawal.
  5. Stabilized on 100mg SR for most of the month of July.
  6. Started tapering on July 17th,  2017.
  7. Completed taper on August 8th, 2017.
  8. Currently experiencing severe withdrawal.
  • Symptoms- Currently experiencing anhedonia, depersonalization/derealization, concentration/memory issues, chronic congestion, chronic dry eyes, dry skin, dislocated TMJ joint from teeth grinding during C/T withdrawal, waves of depression, anxiety, nausea, morning cortisol spikes, insomnia, agitation, food sensitivities, no tolerance for caffeine and chronic fatigue, burning muscle pain in upper and lower back and occasional tinninitus.
  • Supplements- Omega-3 fish oil supplement twice daily, 100 mg of magnesium once daily. 
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I’ve been reading sheps journey.,that’s inspirational. Look at the bright side, you’re able to cry. I did have a period of 2 hours yesterday where I felt encouraged and could eat. At least I’m not real anxious today..

 

2001 Remeron , Celexa, prozac a week on lithium. 

2014 went off effexor and trazadone in 3 weeks. 

2014 zoloft (hyper reaction) put on effexor 75 mg. Was stable until 2017 

2017  Trazadone 50 mg (June) Effexor to 113 mg (2 weeks) Effexor 150 mg for a month . Took 75 mg until November. . Lithium 10 days, Lamactil 10 day  aug-nov15 ativan

October : Prozac bridge to get off 75 mg of effexor Used 10 mg of prozac. Stopped prozac 3 wk 

Dec 6, 7 Upped trazadone from 50 to 100 mg Did it for 3 days Stopped it

Dec 7 , Dec 8 Took prozac again 0.1 , 0.1, 0.6 stopped it

Dec 11 and Dec 12 upped it to 100 again

Dec 15 , 16,17 went back to 50 mg of trazadone

December 18 Began 3 beads of effexor  Dec 25 began 5 beads of effexor take 10 mg of omneprazole daily

 

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Hey Hellbutrin, 6.5 months off is rather early in the WD game. But don't give up! Healing does happen, but it's slow and symptoms are constantly evolving- at least that's been my experience. Keep a journal of your symptoms so that you can look back 6 months from now and see how far you've come. Find a success story, and bookmark it. Read it as often as you need to. Your body is on a mission to get back to factory settings, never doubt that. Eat uber healthy and clean. Move your body each day. Do things that calm your nervous system. Use SA for advice on how to manage symptoms, but don't get too caught up in the lack of success stories. I had a nice window for a while and honestly this site was the last thing on my mind. I was just so happy to feel good and enjoy my life. Hang in there! 

Celexa 10 mg ( approx 5 years), reduced to 5mg (approx 10 years). Prescribed for anxiety and panic. Started tapering July 2015-2.5 mg for a month, then 2.5 every other day. Kept tapering until October when I took my last crumb.  Almost 4 years drug free and WD symptoms are evolving constantly. Some improved, some new. 

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I had some of the symptoms you mention in your signature:

insomnia----.>gone!

congestion----->gone!

terrible memory----->much improved!

morning cortisol spikes------>gone!

crying spells/depression------>gone!

 

I hope this helps. 

Celexa 10 mg ( approx 5 years), reduced to 5mg (approx 10 years). Prescribed for anxiety and panic. Started tapering July 2015-2.5 mg for a month, then 2.5 every other day. Kept tapering until October when I took my last crumb.  Almost 4 years drug free and WD symptoms are evolving constantly. Some improved, some new. 

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  • Mentor
36 minutes ago, Mimi11 said:

Hey Hellbutrin, 6.5 months off is rather early in the WD game. But don't give up! Healing does happen, but it's slow and symptoms are constantly evolving- at least that's been my experience. Keep a journal of your symptoms so that you can look back 6 months from now and see how far you've come. Find a success story, and bookmark it. Read it as often as you need to. Your body is on a mission to get back to factory settings, never doubt that. Eat uber healthy and clean. Move your body each day. Do things that calm your nervous system. Use SA for advice on how to manage symptoms, but don't get too caught up in the lack of success stories. I had a nice window for a while and honestly this site was the last thing on my mind. I was just so happy to feel good and enjoy my life. Hang in there! 

So good to hear, Mimi!

31 minutes ago, Mimi11 said:

insomnia----.>gone!

congestion----->gone!

terrible memory----->much improved!

morning cortisol spikes------>gone!

crying spells/depression------>gone!

And esp. good to see this. I am in an insomnia/depression phase which is how WD evolved at present. However, the cortisol spikes seem to be gone (knock on wood) and the terrible memory is better. Goodness, we are so strong. Today marks 10 months SSRI-free after a crazy fast taper (essentially CT).

  • Prozac | late 2004-mid-2005 | CT WD in a couple months, mostly emotional
  • Sertraline 50-100mg | 11/2011-3/2014, 10/2014-3/2017
  • Sertraline fast taper March 2017, 4 weeks, OFF sertraline April 1, 2017
  • Quit alcohol May 20, 2017
  • Lifestyle changes: AA, kundalini yoga

 

"If you've seen a monster, even if it's horrible, that's evidence of divinity." – Damien Echols

 

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We sure are! Congrats on 10 months! 

Celexa 10 mg ( approx 5 years), reduced to 5mg (approx 10 years). Prescribed for anxiety and panic. Started tapering July 2015-2.5 mg for a month, then 2.5 every other day. Kept tapering until October when I took my last crumb.  Almost 4 years drug free and WD symptoms are evolving constantly. Some improved, some new. 

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Maybe that's why we should all tell our tapr difficulties to the Scottish govt.

see my drug sig for details.

nz11

Thought for the day: Lets stand up, and let’s speak out , together. G Olsen

We have until the 14th. Feb 2018. 

URGENT REQUEST Please consider submitting  for the petition on Prescribed Drug Dependence and Withdrawal currently awaiting its third consideration at the Scottish Parliament. You don't even have to be from Scotland. By clicking on the link below you can read some of the previous submissions but be warned many of them are quite harrowing.

http://www.parliament.scot/GettingInvolved/Petitions/PE01651   

Please tell them about your problems taking and withdrawing from antidepressants and/or benzos.

Send by email to petitions@parliament.scot and quote PE01651 in the subject heading. Keep to a maximum of 3 sides of A4 and you can't name for legal reasons any doctor you have consulted. Tell them if you wish to remain anonymous. We need the numbers to help convince the committee members we are not isolated cases. You have until mid February. Thank you

Recovering paxil addict

None of the published articles shed light on what ssri's ... actually do or what their hazards might be. Healy 2013. 

This is so true, with anything you get on these drugs, dependance, tapering, withdrawal symptoms, side effects, just silent. And if there is something mentioned then their is a serious disconnect between what is said and reality! 

  "Every time I read of a multi-person shooting, I always presume that person had just started a SSRI or had just stopped."  Dr Mosher. Me too! 

Over two decades later, the number of antidepressant prescriptions a year is slightly more than the number of people in the Western world. Most (nine out of 10) prescriptions are for patients who faced difficulties on stopping, equating to about a tenth of the population. These patients are often advised to continue treatment because their difficulties indicate they need ongoing treatment, just as a person with diabetes needs insulin. Healy 2015

I believe the ssri era will soon stand as one of the most shameful in the history of medicine. Healy 2015

Let people help people ... in a natural, kind, non-addictive (and non-big pharma) way. J Broadley 2017

 

 

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7 hours ago, FarmGirlWorks said:

So good to hear, Mimi!

And esp. good to see this. I am in an insomnia/depression phase which is how WD evolved at present. However, the cortisol spikes seem to be gone (knock on wood) and the terrible memory is better. Goodness, we are so strong. Today marks 10 months SSRI-free after a crazy fast taper (essentially CT).

well done on making the 10 month mark! our situation seems quite similar, I hit the 10 month mark next week and I am also in the insomnia phase, keep up the healing!

2001 - 2005 prozac,  2001 - 2017 various benzos, mainly diazapem and zanex,  2002 - 2017 olanzapine or seroquel,  2002 -2017 propanolol, 2005 - 2009 venlafaxine 75mg , forced to go cold turkey off venlafaxine as moved Thailand, doctor cut me off and couldn't get it there, severely ill for over 2 years, countered withdrawals with more zanex and seroquel

2014 returned to UK, mainly to get treatment getting off meds

doctor advised to taper seroquel over a few weeks, severely ill and bed bed-bound so reinstated it, 2015 tapered seroquel myself slower over a few months, was off it 2 months and was too ill so went on olanzapine, became zombie and too tired to get out of bed, went back on seroquel, very depressed so went back on venlafaxine, didnt work  so doctor swapped to zoloft became very agitated so back on venlafaxine

June 2016 - felt strong enough to begin tapering again, started what I thought was a slow taper of all meds,  2016 July Not had any alcoholic drink since this date, 

2016 October completely off diazepem, 2017 Feb completely off seroquel, 2017 March completely off proponanlol, 2017 April (day before birthday) completely off venlafaxine, OFF ALL MEDS 11/4/2017, was fine for nearly 3 months and then delayed withdrawal hit,

supplements taking: turmeric capsules, NiaCel (nicotinamide riboside), Vit B12 sublingual, Vit B3, Vit B6, Vit B1, apple cider vinegar, manuka umf 10 honey, camu camu powder,  melatonin when needed, epsom salt baths, juices, smoothies, 

Intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/topic/15175-dj2010-off-all-meds-for-3-months-and-been-fine-now-bad-insomnia/

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  • Mentor
12 hours ago, dj2010 said:

well done on making the 10 month mark! our situation seems quite similar, I hit the 10 month mark next week and I am also in the insomnia phase, keep up the healing!

Ah, happy early anniversary. Good to hear that another person is having similar symptoms at 10 months out. I "studied" (actually, it was just drinking a lot) in Manchester for 6 months in college. The weather there was similar to Seattle -- grey and rainy. I have a feeling when we sboth start hitting some sun patches, things will improve.

  • Prozac | late 2004-mid-2005 | CT WD in a couple months, mostly emotional
  • Sertraline 50-100mg | 11/2011-3/2014, 10/2014-3/2017
  • Sertraline fast taper March 2017, 4 weeks, OFF sertraline April 1, 2017
  • Quit alcohol May 20, 2017
  • Lifestyle changes: AA, kundalini yoga

 

"If you've seen a monster, even if it's horrible, that's evidence of divinity." – Damien Echols

 

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20 hours ago, Mimi11 said:

I had some of the symptoms you mention in your signature:

insomnia----.>gone!

congestion----->gone!

terrible memory----->much improved!

morning cortisol spikes------>gone!

crying spells/depression------>gone!

 

I hope this helps. 

Hi Mimi, 

 

This helps tremendously knowing that you experienced so many of the same symptoms as me and they eventually went away. Can you give me more information on how far into withdrawal it was before you noticed these symptoms going away? Was it a sudden turning of a corner or did it gradually improve? Do you struggle with anhedonia also? I haven't felt any positive emotion for the entirety of the 6 months that I've been in withdrawal and it makes life really not that worth living. This is one symptom along with the depression that I can't wait to see go!

  1. Started Wellbutrin 75 mg IR the end of 2015.
  2. Tried quitting cold turkey in June 30th- July 3rd 2017.
  3. Had severe withdrawals.
  4. Was placed on Wellbutrin 100mg SR so I could taper without withdrawal.
  5. Stabilized on 100mg SR for most of the month of July.
  6. Started tapering on July 17th,  2017.
  7. Completed taper on August 8th, 2017.
  8. Currently experiencing severe withdrawal.
  • Symptoms- Currently experiencing anhedonia, depersonalization/derealization, concentration/memory issues, chronic congestion, chronic dry eyes, dry skin, dislocated TMJ joint from teeth grinding during C/T withdrawal, waves of depression, anxiety, nausea, morning cortisol spikes, insomnia, agitation, food sensitivities, no tolerance for caffeine and chronic fatigue, burning muscle pain in upper and lower back and occasional tinninitus.
  • Supplements- Omega-3 fish oil supplement twice daily, 100 mg of magnesium once daily. 
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12 hours ago, dj2010 said:

well done on making the 10 month mark! our situation seems quite similar, I hit the 10 month mark next week and I am also in the insomnia phase, keep up the healing!

This is encouraging! Did you also struggle with anhedonia and depression, if so, when did you notice this start to dissipate?

  1. Started Wellbutrin 75 mg IR the end of 2015.
  2. Tried quitting cold turkey in June 30th- July 3rd 2017.
  3. Had severe withdrawals.
  4. Was placed on Wellbutrin 100mg SR so I could taper without withdrawal.
  5. Stabilized on 100mg SR for most of the month of July.
  6. Started tapering on July 17th,  2017.
  7. Completed taper on August 8th, 2017.
  8. Currently experiencing severe withdrawal.
  • Symptoms- Currently experiencing anhedonia, depersonalization/derealization, concentration/memory issues, chronic congestion, chronic dry eyes, dry skin, dislocated TMJ joint from teeth grinding during C/T withdrawal, waves of depression, anxiety, nausea, morning cortisol spikes, insomnia, agitation, food sensitivities, no tolerance for caffeine and chronic fatigue, burning muscle pain in upper and lower back and occasional tinninitus.
  • Supplements- Omega-3 fish oil supplement twice daily, 100 mg of magnesium once daily. 
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17 minutes ago, FarmGirlWorks said:

Ah, happy early anniversary. Good to hear that another person is having similar symptoms at 10 months out. I "studied" (actually, it was just drinking a lot) in Manchester for 6 months in college. The weather there was similar to Seattle -- grey and rainy. I have a feeling when we sboth start hitting some sun patches, things will improve.

Yes, this grey weather is the absolute worst for this withdrawal nonsense.

  1. Started Wellbutrin 75 mg IR the end of 2015.
  2. Tried quitting cold turkey in June 30th- July 3rd 2017.
  3. Had severe withdrawals.
  4. Was placed on Wellbutrin 100mg SR so I could taper without withdrawal.
  5. Stabilized on 100mg SR for most of the month of July.
  6. Started tapering on July 17th,  2017.
  7. Completed taper on August 8th, 2017.
  8. Currently experiencing severe withdrawal.
  • Symptoms- Currently experiencing anhedonia, depersonalization/derealization, concentration/memory issues, chronic congestion, chronic dry eyes, dry skin, dislocated TMJ joint from teeth grinding during C/T withdrawal, waves of depression, anxiety, nausea, morning cortisol spikes, insomnia, agitation, food sensitivities, no tolerance for caffeine and chronic fatigue, burning muscle pain in upper and lower back and occasional tinninitus.
  • Supplements- Omega-3 fish oil supplement twice daily, 100 mg of magnesium once daily. 
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On 03/02/2018 at 7:59 PM, Hellbutrin said:

Yes, I did do a "stupid" taper. But I was told by my DOCTOR that skipping doses was an appropriate way to taper, and I should be fine limiting my taper to eight weeks. If I had known the hellish terror that would ensue from this ignorance I would have extended my taper to at least a year, but unfortunately it's too late to go back on that decision now. But telling someone that they are "stupid" for their taper isn't helpful or encouraging. Don't patronize me by telling me that my its my responsibility to be an encouragement to others because of my age (I'm 28 btw) everyone here is suffering regardless of how old they are. Yes, I do feel like constantly giving up, but victim blaming doesn't help me feel better about my situation. I'm not giving up, but that doesn't mean that the thought doesn't cross my mind EVERYDAY. 

it wasn't my intention to put you down really I was trying some hard love you tocher you up don't give up it's a hard battle but we got this 

 

  1. Zoloft(Generic)100 mg From 06/06/2016 to 02/10/2016                         
  2. Lexapro(Generic) 20 MG From 03/10/2016 to 05/2017                               Supplements: vitamin complex 
  3. Lexapro (Generic) CT 05/2017 
  4. 6/08/17- reinstated 10mg Lexapro(Generic)(50%of original doses )
  5. 02/11/2017- 9 mg Lexapro(Generic) (10 % rule) (Homemade)
  6. 04/12/2017- 8.75mg Lexapro(Generic)(BrassMonkey slide)
  7. 19/12/2017- 8.5mg Lexapro(Generic)
  8. 06/02/2018- 8.35mg Lexapro (Generic)
  9. 16/2/2018- 8.22mg Lexapro(Generic)
  10. 25/2/2018- 8.09mg Lexapro (Generic)-05/03/2018- 7.9mg Lexapro (Generic)-28/03/2018-7.75mg Lexapro (Generic)-04/04/2018-7.66mg Lexapro (Generic)18/05/2018-7.64mg Lexapro (brand Liquid)
  11. 28/6/2018 7.50mg lexapro (Brand Liquid ) 15/7/2018 7.40 mg Lexapro(brand liquid) 7.30 mg Lexapro(Liquid) 27-07-2018
  12. Forgot to update this but i continued to taper down until 21/12/2019 and final dose was 1.3 mg  Time since Stoping  3y and 4 mouths
  13.  xanax 16-01-2023 started 0.25 whent to 0.5 RX 1 week Back to 0.25 
  14. corrent dose 0.25 devided in 4 parts 
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I definitely had some depression and just difficulty managing my emotions. I think it's referred to as neuro-emotions on here. I don't recall exactly when, but by the one year mark, maybe sooner,  my emotions and mood really stabilized. The congestion, cortisol spikes and memory/concentration issues were definitely much better after the first year. The insomnia didn't hit until around the 16 month mark. Can't recall how long it lasted. It was several months I'm sure, but gradually started to get better. The other ones that improved gradually were memory/concentration and cortisol spikes. The congestion just up and left suddenly. 

I hope this helps!

Celexa 10 mg ( approx 5 years), reduced to 5mg (approx 10 years). Prescribed for anxiety and panic. Started tapering July 2015-2.5 mg for a month, then 2.5 every other day. Kept tapering until October when I took my last crumb.  Almost 4 years drug free and WD symptoms are evolving constantly. Some improved, some new. 

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10 hours ago, FarmGirlWorks said:

Ah, happy early anniversary. Good to hear that another person is having similar symptoms at 10 months out. I "studied" (actually, it was just drinking a lot) in Manchester for 6 months in college. The weather there was similar to Seattle -- grey and rainy. I have a feeling when we sboth start hitting some sun patches, things will improve.

thanks FarmGirl, yes its grey and rainy at the moment but will start warming up a bit in around a month, I  am certain things will improve a lot also when sun starts coming out, I always seems to sleep better when been out in the sun, it might be down to getting vitamin D from the sun, take care

2001 - 2005 prozac,  2001 - 2017 various benzos, mainly diazapem and zanex,  2002 - 2017 olanzapine or seroquel,  2002 -2017 propanolol, 2005 - 2009 venlafaxine 75mg , forced to go cold turkey off venlafaxine as moved Thailand, doctor cut me off and couldn't get it there, severely ill for over 2 years, countered withdrawals with more zanex and seroquel

2014 returned to UK, mainly to get treatment getting off meds

doctor advised to taper seroquel over a few weeks, severely ill and bed bed-bound so reinstated it, 2015 tapered seroquel myself slower over a few months, was off it 2 months and was too ill so went on olanzapine, became zombie and too tired to get out of bed, went back on seroquel, very depressed so went back on venlafaxine, didnt work  so doctor swapped to zoloft became very agitated so back on venlafaxine

June 2016 - felt strong enough to begin tapering again, started what I thought was a slow taper of all meds,  2016 July Not had any alcoholic drink since this date, 

2016 October completely off diazepem, 2017 Feb completely off seroquel, 2017 March completely off proponanlol, 2017 April (day before birthday) completely off venlafaxine, OFF ALL MEDS 11/4/2017, was fine for nearly 3 months and then delayed withdrawal hit,

supplements taking: turmeric capsules, NiaCel (nicotinamide riboside), Vit B12 sublingual, Vit B3, Vit B6, Vit B1, apple cider vinegar, manuka umf 10 honey, camu camu powder,  melatonin when needed, epsom salt baths, juices, smoothies, 

Intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/topic/15175-dj2010-off-all-meds-for-3-months-and-been-fine-now-bad-insomnia/

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10 hours ago, Hellbutrin said:

This is encouraging! Did you also struggle with anhedonia and depression, if so, when did you notice this start to dissipate?

h Hellbutrin, yes I had anhedonia, I have wrote about it a bit on my thread a few times, I noticed it start to get better quite a few months ago but really noticed it get better over this xmas when I started to enjoy playing video games again, at one point I sold my games console and all games as was getting zero enjoyment, take good care

2001 - 2005 prozac,  2001 - 2017 various benzos, mainly diazapem and zanex,  2002 - 2017 olanzapine or seroquel,  2002 -2017 propanolol, 2005 - 2009 venlafaxine 75mg , forced to go cold turkey off venlafaxine as moved Thailand, doctor cut me off and couldn't get it there, severely ill for over 2 years, countered withdrawals with more zanex and seroquel

2014 returned to UK, mainly to get treatment getting off meds

doctor advised to taper seroquel over a few weeks, severely ill and bed bed-bound so reinstated it, 2015 tapered seroquel myself slower over a few months, was off it 2 months and was too ill so went on olanzapine, became zombie and too tired to get out of bed, went back on seroquel, very depressed so went back on venlafaxine, didnt work  so doctor swapped to zoloft became very agitated so back on venlafaxine

June 2016 - felt strong enough to begin tapering again, started what I thought was a slow taper of all meds,  2016 July Not had any alcoholic drink since this date, 

2016 October completely off diazepem, 2017 Feb completely off seroquel, 2017 March completely off proponanlol, 2017 April (day before birthday) completely off venlafaxine, OFF ALL MEDS 11/4/2017, was fine for nearly 3 months and then delayed withdrawal hit,

supplements taking: turmeric capsules, NiaCel (nicotinamide riboside), Vit B12 sublingual, Vit B3, Vit B6, Vit B1, apple cider vinegar, manuka umf 10 honey, camu camu powder,  melatonin when needed, epsom salt baths, juices, smoothies, 

Intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/topic/15175-dj2010-off-all-meds-for-3-months-and-been-fine-now-bad-insomnia/

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  • Mentor
23 hours ago, Hellbutrin said:

Yes, this grey weather is the absolute worst for this withdrawal nonsense.

Yup, it truly is. I look for the shoots coming up to remind me that spring is near.

  • Prozac | late 2004-mid-2005 | CT WD in a couple months, mostly emotional
  • Sertraline 50-100mg | 11/2011-3/2014, 10/2014-3/2017
  • Sertraline fast taper March 2017, 4 weeks, OFF sertraline April 1, 2017
  • Quit alcohol May 20, 2017
  • Lifestyle changes: AA, kundalini yoga

 

"If you've seen a monster, even if it's horrible, that's evidence of divinity." – Damien Echols

 

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On 2/5/2018 at 1:03 AM, dj2010 said:

h Hellbutrin, yes I had anhedonia, I have wrote about it a bit on my thread a few times, I noticed it start to get better quite a few months ago but really noticed it get better over this xmas when I started to enjoy playing video games again, at one point I sold my games console and all games as was getting zero enjoyment, take good care

How long did you have anhedonia before you noticed it started to get better?

  1. Started Wellbutrin 75 mg IR the end of 2015.
  2. Tried quitting cold turkey in June 30th- July 3rd 2017.
  3. Had severe withdrawals.
  4. Was placed on Wellbutrin 100mg SR so I could taper without withdrawal.
  5. Stabilized on 100mg SR for most of the month of July.
  6. Started tapering on July 17th,  2017.
  7. Completed taper on August 8th, 2017.
  8. Currently experiencing severe withdrawal.
  • Symptoms- Currently experiencing anhedonia, depersonalization/derealization, concentration/memory issues, chronic congestion, chronic dry eyes, dry skin, dislocated TMJ joint from teeth grinding during C/T withdrawal, waves of depression, anxiety, nausea, morning cortisol spikes, insomnia, agitation, food sensitivities, no tolerance for caffeine and chronic fatigue, burning muscle pain in upper and lower back and occasional tinninitus.
  • Supplements- Omega-3 fish oil supplement twice daily, 100 mg of magnesium once daily. 
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37 minutes ago, Hellbutrin said:

How long did you have anhedonia before you noticed it started to get better?

From looking over my thread I can see that I had it since beginning my taper around June 2016 up until August 2017 which is when I was able to start enjoying movies and tv again, it is still not 100% now though but I am sure when my sleep returns to normal then it will be, slept over 8 hours Saturday night and over 7 and half hours Sunday night and felt great but last night only got 4 hours and been awake since 2am, body aching and feel awful, been on sofa watching netflix most of day,

2001 - 2005 prozac,  2001 - 2017 various benzos, mainly diazapem and zanex,  2002 - 2017 olanzapine or seroquel,  2002 -2017 propanolol, 2005 - 2009 venlafaxine 75mg , forced to go cold turkey off venlafaxine as moved Thailand, doctor cut me off and couldn't get it there, severely ill for over 2 years, countered withdrawals with more zanex and seroquel

2014 returned to UK, mainly to get treatment getting off meds

doctor advised to taper seroquel over a few weeks, severely ill and bed bed-bound so reinstated it, 2015 tapered seroquel myself slower over a few months, was off it 2 months and was too ill so went on olanzapine, became zombie and too tired to get out of bed, went back on seroquel, very depressed so went back on venlafaxine, didnt work  so doctor swapped to zoloft became very agitated so back on venlafaxine

June 2016 - felt strong enough to begin tapering again, started what I thought was a slow taper of all meds,  2016 July Not had any alcoholic drink since this date, 

2016 October completely off diazepem, 2017 Feb completely off seroquel, 2017 March completely off proponanlol, 2017 April (day before birthday) completely off venlafaxine, OFF ALL MEDS 11/4/2017, was fine for nearly 3 months and then delayed withdrawal hit,

supplements taking: turmeric capsules, NiaCel (nicotinamide riboside), Vit B12 sublingual, Vit B3, Vit B6, Vit B1, apple cider vinegar, manuka umf 10 honey, camu camu powder,  melatonin when needed, epsom salt baths, juices, smoothies, 

Intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/topic/15175-dj2010-off-all-meds-for-3-months-and-been-fine-now-bad-insomnia/

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On 2/6/2018 at 9:54 AM, dj2010 said:

From looking over my thread I can see that I had it since beginning my taper around June 2016 up until August 2017 which is when I was able to start enjoying movies and tv again, it is still not 100% now though but I am sure when my sleep returns to normal then it will be, slept over 8 hours Saturday night and over 7 and half hours Sunday night and felt great but last night only got 4 hours and been awake since 2am, body aching and feel awful, been on sofa watching netflix most of day,

This is great to hear that it did eventually improve for you. I get so panicky when I think about all of the things that this drug has taken from me. How can drugs that quite literally STEAL your happiness continue to be given to unsuspecting people? Before I took this poison I was empathetic, kind, loving and understanding, and now it's all I can do to fake my way through my days trying to pretend that I care about things. Did you lose your feelings for your friends and family during the time that you had anhedonia?

  1. Started Wellbutrin 75 mg IR the end of 2015.
  2. Tried quitting cold turkey in June 30th- July 3rd 2017.
  3. Had severe withdrawals.
  4. Was placed on Wellbutrin 100mg SR so I could taper without withdrawal.
  5. Stabilized on 100mg SR for most of the month of July.
  6. Started tapering on July 17th,  2017.
  7. Completed taper on August 8th, 2017.
  8. Currently experiencing severe withdrawal.
  • Symptoms- Currently experiencing anhedonia, depersonalization/derealization, concentration/memory issues, chronic congestion, chronic dry eyes, dry skin, dislocated TMJ joint from teeth grinding during C/T withdrawal, waves of depression, anxiety, nausea, morning cortisol spikes, insomnia, agitation, food sensitivities, no tolerance for caffeine and chronic fatigue, burning muscle pain in upper and lower back and occasional tinninitus.
  • Supplements- Omega-3 fish oil supplement twice daily, 100 mg of magnesium once daily. 
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7 hours ago, Hellbutrin said:

This is great to hear that it did eventually improve for you. I get so panicky when I think about all of the things that this drug has taken from me. How can drugs that quite literally STEAL your happiness continue to be given to unsuspecting people? 

yes I understand this, even though I have still lived a decent life and had many life experiences I am still pissed that I haven't been able to fully enjoy it all because emotions blunted by the meds,

 

7 hours ago, Hellbutrin said:

Before I took this poison I was empathetic, kind, loving and understanding, and now it's all I can do to fake my way through my days trying to pretend that I care about things. Did you lose your feelings for your friends and family during the time that you had anhedonia?

 

all your feelings will come back with time so try not to panic, you are still very early in withdrawal, a lot of people usually say they didn't start feeling better until year 2, you are only at 7 months

 

7 hours ago, Hellbutrin said:

Did you lose your feelings for your friends and family during the time that you had anhedonia?

 

yes I had little feelings and didn't care about anyone except my children who I have always had strong feeling for, emotions are now much stronger and are continuing to get stronger,

 

take care

2001 - 2005 prozac,  2001 - 2017 various benzos, mainly diazapem and zanex,  2002 - 2017 olanzapine or seroquel,  2002 -2017 propanolol, 2005 - 2009 venlafaxine 75mg , forced to go cold turkey off venlafaxine as moved Thailand, doctor cut me off and couldn't get it there, severely ill for over 2 years, countered withdrawals with more zanex and seroquel

2014 returned to UK, mainly to get treatment getting off meds

doctor advised to taper seroquel over a few weeks, severely ill and bed bed-bound so reinstated it, 2015 tapered seroquel myself slower over a few months, was off it 2 months and was too ill so went on olanzapine, became zombie and too tired to get out of bed, went back on seroquel, very depressed so went back on venlafaxine, didnt work  so doctor swapped to zoloft became very agitated so back on venlafaxine

June 2016 - felt strong enough to begin tapering again, started what I thought was a slow taper of all meds,  2016 July Not had any alcoholic drink since this date, 

2016 October completely off diazepem, 2017 Feb completely off seroquel, 2017 March completely off proponanlol, 2017 April (day before birthday) completely off venlafaxine, OFF ALL MEDS 11/4/2017, was fine for nearly 3 months and then delayed withdrawal hit,

supplements taking: turmeric capsules, NiaCel (nicotinamide riboside), Vit B12 sublingual, Vit B3, Vit B6, Vit B1, apple cider vinegar, manuka umf 10 honey, camu camu powder,  melatonin when needed, epsom salt baths, juices, smoothies, 

Intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/topic/15175-dj2010-off-all-meds-for-3-months-and-been-fine-now-bad-insomnia/

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I stopped posting once I was feeling okay-- I completely forgot about this site.

I just finished my taper though and I'm having withdrawal symptoms again, so now I'm back.  Forums probably aren't the best places to find success stories.  I wish we could hear more of them though.  Maybe blogs?

29y.o.  Started Lexapro, 15mg in 2013 for anxiety and depression.

9/28/15- Started taper, went down to 10mg, then 5mg by 10/31/15. 

1/2016-  anxiety, nausea, fatigue, crying spells, sadness, by January. Reinstated back to 10mg.  Leveled out.   1/1/2018- Began further taper, down to 0mg by 1/31/2018.  Last dose was 2.5mg. Feelings of dizziness during taper recommended by pdoc.  Slowed down taper, but still had symptoms of stomach upset.

2/12/18 - Dealing with symptoms of dizziness, anxiety, sadness, stomach upset.  2/20/18 - Reinstating medication with .6mg.  2/21/18 - Emotionally feeling better.  Dizziness much improved.  2/24/18 - Went to sleep with extreme feeling of chills.  No fever.  Fatigue.  3/19/18 - Increased anxiety.  5/1/18- Began therapy.  Have trouble with anxiety and GI symptoms.  9/22/18 - Decrease to .5mg.  Anxiety, GI, chills.  9/26/18 - back up to .6mg.  10/31/18 - app Curable, feeling distinct change in outlook and anxiety levels decreased.

2/1/19 - not seeing improvement in anxiety.  started 10mg Prozac  2/7/19 - up to 20mg Prozac, experiencing chills, tiredness  2/21/19 - tapering down to 10mg

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