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Recognizing a Silver Lining


Dalalea

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What silver linings have you noticed during this horrible spot we find ourselves in? I'm practicing finding blessings in this mess to keep a positive attitude.

 

I'll start! I felt so terrible when I had the actual flu in January. All of my withdrawal symptoms were competing with my flu symptoms!
I feel like the flu recovery was finally happening for me and because of the horrible state I was in a few weeks ago, everything feels like a window!
I'll take windows any way I can get them!

Dalalea's Introduction

Off All SSRI Medications: Effexor 2010 one month
Sertraline 50 mg. but only took 25 mg. daily because of dizziness. 2010 to July 2017

Tapered over 2 months beginning the 1st of June 2017 -- Off Sertraline by July 30, 2017

Current Medication: Losartan (blood pressure), Albuterol (for asthma- only as needed)
Current Symptoms: tinnitus, hearing loss in one ear, allergies

My Plan: Prayer, Scripture, Walk, Yoga, Encourage Others, Healthy Eating
Generic SSRI Withdrawal Symptom and Plan Checklists and Graph.xlsx

Current Supplements: Magnesium Threonate, Fish Oil, probiotic, B-12, C, D-3

Current Essential Oils: Frankincense, Bergamot, Orange, Lemon, Lavender, Peppermint, Clove
Current Essential Oil Blends: Brain Power, Clarity, Stress Away

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NobodySpecial

Hey, I found that the utter heartbreak and despair has put me in touch with a tremendous wellspring of compassion and understanding for others.

 

I've also become MUCH better at accepting discomfort and challenge. My whole fiasco started because I was obsessed with not sleeping and hated being tired, now I have a tremendous capacity to hold that discomfort caringly and not act it out.

 

What other silver linings have you had @Dalalea?

Taper commencing 14/06/18:

  • Going down by 2.5mg per month from 35mg - once 2.5mg is bigger than the recommended 10%, I'll switch to a water solution. 
  • Planning to taper until October and then hold until 2019 - balancing study, work, life and holiday season.

 

Medication / withdrawal history:

  • Tapered July 2016 to October 2016, unsuccessful and reinstated to 30mg (didn't track specifics)
  • Tapered March 2017 to August 2017, was unsuccessful and reinstated to 35mg (didn't track specifics).
  • Current taper - started 1st January 2018 @ 32.5mg and 2.5mg per month until I reach a dose where 2.5 is > 10% of dose.

 

Morning supplements:

B complex, Niagen, COQ10, Black seed oil, Vitamin C, Zinc, Fish Oil, EGCG, Bosweilla Extract, Curcumin (Longvida), Vitamin D, R-ALA, NAC, Ashwagandha (occasionally), Epimedium / Icariin, Resveratol.

 

Evening supplements:

NatureCalm Magnesium, Glycine, Ashwagandha, Reishi, Schisandra, Melatonin.

I also take Phenibut (maximum 3 times weekly at a dose that doesn't build tolerance) and Oleamide when required.

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49 minutes ago, NobodySpecial said:

What other silver linings have you had @Dalalea?

I've learned to be thankful for small improvements. The windows I have aren't totally free of symptoms so I'm practicing seeing the small steps as something to be thankful for without being so impatient. I'm also learning so much as I go that I might be able to use to help someone else.

:)

I'm learning to trust my body and adjust accordingly.

When I don't feel like moving much, I can still encourage others here!

 

Dalalea's Introduction

Off All SSRI Medications: Effexor 2010 one month
Sertraline 50 mg. but only took 25 mg. daily because of dizziness. 2010 to July 2017

Tapered over 2 months beginning the 1st of June 2017 -- Off Sertraline by July 30, 2017

Current Medication: Losartan (blood pressure), Albuterol (for asthma- only as needed)
Current Symptoms: tinnitus, hearing loss in one ear, allergies

My Plan: Prayer, Scripture, Walk, Yoga, Encourage Others, Healthy Eating
Generic SSRI Withdrawal Symptom and Plan Checklists and Graph.xlsx

Current Supplements: Magnesium Threonate, Fish Oil, probiotic, B-12, C, D-3

Current Essential Oils: Frankincense, Bergamot, Orange, Lemon, Lavender, Peppermint, Clove
Current Essential Oil Blends: Brain Power, Clarity, Stress Away

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NobodySpecial

That is so awesome @Dalalea!

 

I like what you said about being able to help others. There's a figure in Buddhism called the Bodhisattva and she has a load of hands all holding different things. Each thing is a way in which she (us) has been wounded, broken and ultimately transformed.

 

Sometimes reflecting on that is really reassuring. We help others through our own deep hurts :)

Taper commencing 14/06/18:

  • Going down by 2.5mg per month from 35mg - once 2.5mg is bigger than the recommended 10%, I'll switch to a water solution. 
  • Planning to taper until October and then hold until 2019 - balancing study, work, life and holiday season.

 

Medication / withdrawal history:

  • Tapered July 2016 to October 2016, unsuccessful and reinstated to 30mg (didn't track specifics)
  • Tapered March 2017 to August 2017, was unsuccessful and reinstated to 35mg (didn't track specifics).
  • Current taper - started 1st January 2018 @ 32.5mg and 2.5mg per month until I reach a dose where 2.5 is > 10% of dose.

 

Morning supplements:

B complex, Niagen, COQ10, Black seed oil, Vitamin C, Zinc, Fish Oil, EGCG, Bosweilla Extract, Curcumin (Longvida), Vitamin D, R-ALA, NAC, Ashwagandha (occasionally), Epimedium / Icariin, Resveratol.

 

Evening supplements:

NatureCalm Magnesium, Glycine, Ashwagandha, Reishi, Schisandra, Melatonin.

I also take Phenibut (maximum 3 times weekly at a dose that doesn't build tolerance) and Oleamide when required.

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  • 2 months later...

i got hit with severe Tinnitus a couple of years ago and boy i have learned so much dealing with this condition and now going through med withdrawal.

i am grateful for every day when i feel good. i have a lot more compassion for people who are suffering of any condition, pain, fear, depression.

i have learned to live and enjoy my life one day at a time. i don't project myself in a year. i used to be a planner and hence an anxious person.

i know now that i can endure physical discomfort and that my mental state tint greatly my experience.

when i was at the bottom and wanted to end it all, i had an epiphany that we don;t live for ourselves. i have 2 small kids and i realize that just our existence affect people.

this made me a much better mom. i don't waste my time on things that are not helping anymore.

i live my life everyday by doing things that i always wanted to do. i don't postpone anything anymore.

i lead a more purposeful life than i have never had.  i want to build a legacy of goodness.

 

and i have learned that NOTHING IS PERMANENT even if they feel this way.

june 2014 to feb  2015- on xanax 0.25 to 1mg/day- then CT - jan 2016 - panic attack, went on 3.75mg remeron to sleep march 2016- CT remeron (because it caused me tinnitus)- deep depression, couldn't sleep because of  intrusive Tinnitus

april to june 2016- valium 4mg, xanax as needed, lunesta 3mg

june 2016 - valium 4mg, lexapro 10mg

oct 2016- valium 2mg, lexapro 10mg- hold

march 2017- started daily micro liquid taper of valium and lex- -taper speed 0.0033mg valium daily and 0.033mg lex daily

may 2018- valium 1mg, lexapro 2.4mg - i had to slow down the rate of my daily micro taper considerably

LAST dose of Lexapro: 0.05mg on 05/17/19

LAST dose of valium: 0.04mg on 08/18/19

April 26th 2020- intense panic attack that lasted 4 days, akatisia, 0 sleep- suicidal, almost hospitalized- took rescue doses over 2 days- total: 1.5mg xanax, 18mg valium, 2x5mg lexapro

 

 

 

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On 4/18/2018 at 3:32 AM, xyz said:

i got hit with severe Tinnitus a couple of years ago and boy i have learned so much dealing with this condition and now going through med withdrawal.

i am grateful for every day when i feel good. i have a lot more compassion for people who are suffering of any condition, pain, fear, depression.

i have learned to live and enjoy my life one day at a time. i don't project myself in a year. i used to be a planner and hence an anxious person.

i know now that i can endure physical discomfort and that my mental state tint greatly my experience.

when i was at the bottom and wanted to end it all, i had an epiphany that we don;t live for ourselves. i have 2 small kids and i realize that just our existence affect people.

this made me a much better mom. i don't waste my time on things that are not helping anymore.

i live my life everyday by doing things that i always wanted to do. i don't postpone anything anymore.

i lead a more purposeful life than i have never had.  i want to build a legacy of goodness.

 

and i have learned that NOTHING IS PERMANENT even if they feel this way.

Very inspiring, dear xyz!  I also have tinnitus, and I look for encouraging posts from others who have it.  Thank you for posting about your successful attitude.  I am sure you are already building your legacy of goodness.

xo RM

Alcohol periodic excessive 1963-1976, Valium sporadic 1964-1973,  Imipramine off & on 1982-1985, Fluoxetine 10mg-80 mg. Oct., 1995-Jan., 2014; Cymbalta, other ADs 1/2014-3/2014; Abilify 5 mg. 3/2014 - 8/8/17; Trintellix 20 mg. 3/2014 - 9/2017; Propranolol 60-80 mg. sporadically Sept-Oct, 2017; Seroquel few days Sept 2017 (c/t); Wellbutrin 150 mg. Sept, 2017 updosed to 300 mg. few days till c/t Oct 8, 2017, fish oil, vitD, vitE Oct 16, 2017-pres. Lipoflavonoid 4/2017-pres.  Fluoxetine 10 mg. Sept-Oct 8, 2017, 20 mg. 10/9- 10/15; 10 mg. 10/16 - 12/29;  9 mg. 12/30 - 2/9; 2 mL liquid (8.1mg) 2/10 - 3/7; 1.8 mL (7.29 mg) 3/8 -3/20; 1.6 mL (6.561mg) 3/20-4/2; 1.4 mL (5.9 mg) 4/3-4/14; 1mL (4 mg.) 4/15-4/22; .9mL (3.6mg) 4/23-5/1; .81mL (3.24 mg) 5/2-5/24; .73mL (2.916mg.) 5/25-6/8; .65mL 6/9-6/23; .6mL 6/24-7/17; .58mL 7/18-7/28; .525mL 7/29-8/13; .5 mL 8/14-21; .45mL 8/22-31; .4mL 9/2-21; .35mL 9/22-10/4; .3mL 10/5-28; .25mL 10/28-11/10; .2mL 11/11-11/24; .18mL 11/25-12/3; .1mL 12/4-12/18. Zero-12/19/18-present.

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