Eqqnok: Protracted withdrawal antipsychotic

[Eqqnok]

Hello all. I'm currently in protracted withdrawal from tapering down from a high dose of amilsulpride(an antipsychotic used in europe) The reason why i wanted to taper 2 years back was because i'm not psychotic anymore. I used to hear voices since i was a child and once i recieved a form of therapy called voice hearing therapy the voices i was hearing

trough out my then 24 years of life wen't away in 4 months.

 

I've been in withdrawal for 16 months now but i'm not really discouraged because every month i would say i see improvements. It's a mix of minor waves of anxiety, not nightmares but moderate anxiety filled dreams, intrusive thoughts, ocd and sad thoughts but not depression. I think the reason why i entered protracted withdrawal was because i wen't from 800 mg down to 500 mg over the course of 2 years. And i've been on the drug for 10 years at the time(its 11 years now) I take fish oil, magnesium glycinate and a good multi vitamin. Because i was tired of the withdrawal i startet to exercise 6 months ago and now i'm up tp 46 min of jogging 3 times pr week.

Just wanted to let you know that my thoughts goes out to all who struggle with withdrawal.

The good news is that like i said i experience windows of major peace of mind and every ones in a awhile i sleep like a baby(8 to 9 hours straight)

My mild akastisia from the high dose is gone now since i tapered. I just wonder if it's possible to reduce the dose in the future, the reason why i think about it while im protracted withdrawal is because just by reducing the dose by 300 mg i feel so much more clear headed and social, even despite my protracted withdrawal. I'm not sure how to go about the tapering process in the

future and how to reduce the risk of it getting to severe.

Like to hear you guys 2 cents on the whole thing.

Bless you all.

I live in notheren europe by the way. i'm 29 years old.

[Altostrata]

Welcome, Eqq.

 

Are you still taking 500mg amisulpride? What time of day do you take it? What is your sleep pattern like now?

 

Yes, it does sound like reducing 300mg at a time caused withdrawal symptoms.

[Eqqnok]

I forgot to mention that i tapered down from 800 mg to 750 mg the first month. Then my sences startet to wake up, but no insomnia or major anxiety. The second month i wen't down to 700 mg. Then i stopped a month and did nothing(a pause) then i wen't down to 675 mg and i startet to get slight insomnia but nothing major, then i wen't down to

650 mg, then 625 mg and then to be sure my brain could keep up i tapered down to 612,5 mg.

Then i tapered from 612,5 mg down to 600 mg. My insomnia got slightly worse and i startet to get anxiety and my sence of hearing and colors was hightent. Then i spoke to my doctor about my symptoms and he said that he couldn't understand why i wen't so slow

because antipsychotics don't have withdrawal effects. I wen't from 600 mg down to 575 mg, at the time i had mania, moderate anxiety, insomnia and the hightens sence of hearing and smell. Then i stopped for 3 months on the 575 mg and the symptoms startet to dissapear by the 40 days.

I then wen't down to 550 mg and after 40 days i wen't down to 525 mg

and then it startet to get to a to fast of a taper. I startet to get the first protracted symptoms of waves of insomnia and mania. I startet to get slightly hightent OCD and the ocd was telling me to cut the dose faster(The ocd, i was not hearing voices) so i did that and in the next 3-4 months i wen't down to 475 mg and then i startet to get waves of severe

depression and mania, it went like that for 4 months then i startet to get hit by intense waves of anxiety(Some call it impending doom) and my insomnia got worse so i was sleeping 2 hours every night.

Then after 8-9 months i was hit with parkinsonnism, i was stiff and could only move my eyes while i had the waves of insomnia and inpending doom anxiety. Then i paniced and i was hospitilized. 

Now it's 16 months after and the parkinsonism is gone, the intense anxiety is gone, i sleep on average 5 hours and 70% of my mania is gone.

 

I still get waves of anxiety, poor sleep, intrusive thoughts and nightmares. If you see my tapering plan i just wrote down, you can see i startet to get protracted symptoms before it all wen't wrong. But i didn't have anyone to guide me. It seamed to me the protracted withdrawal was the first warning sign.

[robcbar1]

Hi Eqq - I admire your strength.  Hang in there my friend.  When you say you panicked and was hospitalized, what do you mean?  Did you do inpatient and did it help you?  I'm at my lowest point right now but very afraid to go to the hospital because I don't want to be diagnosed with a bogus disorder and further medicated.  The only thing I can do is try to tough it out.     

[Eqqnok]

Hey robcbar1. Thank you for writing in my topic.

The reason why i got hospitalized was because I got so anxious i wanted to kill my self i wanted to jump out in front of a train or hang myself(some dark stuff i know)

So i was hospitalized and they got  me on zoloft and i was like you. Afraid to take further medication. I was helping the other patiants giving them long talks for hours. Because here in denmark they cut the funding of the psyactric  units so much that they dont offer talk therapy anymore.

I was sucicidal but found great relief in helping the others. I even fixed the mental health staffs coffee mashine.

Long story short i was released and startet to taper my zoloft and now im off the zoloft.

I Know deep in my mind that if i did a slower taper i wouldn't get suicidal.

Believe me 2 years of taper when being on a strong drug for 10 years is not enough. My best advice to you is to only reduce again when the symptoms from your recent taper has dissapered.

Bless you all. I will reduce again when my protracted symptoms has dissapered.

[Juan]

Hello @robcbar1 @Eqqnok,

I am too suffering from suicidal thoughts, it's horrible having the feeling of not being able to continue with this suffering in life.

How do feel about mornings? I go to sleep late at night and try to stay in bed during the day and function at night.

@Eqqnok please don't forget your signature,

Hugs and blessings,

Juan

[Eqqnok]

In the morning i drink my coffee and i get out of the door just to get some fresh air. I don't sleep that well because I have crazy REM rebound sleep because its been supressed by the large dose of the drug.

I feel better in the evening.

Im taking suppliments aswell, fish oil in larger than normal amounts, magnesium glycinate 3 times pr day and 1 teaspoon of pure vitamin c powder in a glass of water 3 times pr day for antioxidant support .

The suicidal thoughts wen't away after 6-7 months in my case.

They do subcide.

 

[Eqqnok]

I've been having protracted withdrawal for 19 months now. I want to start this topic about my journey and how i deal and treat my symptoms.

 

The symptoms i have are:

Sleep issues.

Blunted emotions.

Inner vibrations. 

Boredom (because im not getting enough dopamine)

Slight sadness.

 

Im taking suppliments like methyl b complex(with methylfolate and methylb12, be carefull with this though), a multi vitamin, fish oil and niacin. The new thing im trying is to jog 3 times pr week for 30 minutes each time.

I have tried to jog before but feelt terrible after. Now im trying again after a break of 2 months to see if my brain can handle it. I wan't to see if i can speed up the recovery process.

 

Im still on 500 mg solian. I plan on reducing the dose further in the future, but for now i wan't to get stable on the 500 mg. I got down from 800 mg to 500 mg in a little over 2 years. And that was to fast. Feel free to post in this tread, but otherwise i will update in about a month to tell how its been going. Maybe ill lose some weight aswell😊

 

I read somewhere that niacin can raise hdl and lower ldl. 2 months back i had my blood tested and my ldl dropped 50% and my hdl rise 50%. Im taking 2000 mg of niacin 3 times pr dag. To pass time in this withdrawal process im taking care of my parents garden which they are paying me 80 bucks for a month. When im not running i take walks and use about 15 hours pr week in a sort of like a club for the mentally ill. 

 

Note: this tread will be about my recovery as i said. And what i try to do to cope. I will also post about improvements in my condition when i see it and feel it. See you in another post in about a month from now.

[Eqqnok]

I just jogged monday and today. I feel worse like 5-6% worse. I've asked my mom if i can come visit them and sleep for a night in there basement. She hasen't answered yet.

When i feel worse after moderate exercise i usually have to wait a day or two for the worsening to subcide.

Luckly i just hit a small window where my body is being hit with a lighter sence of wellbeing. It happend 3 days in a row now where i after midday get hit with a light sence of wellbeing.

Im also working with a therapist who will help me when im ready in the future to reduce the dose further.

Im still taking care of my parents garden and i talk to my older brother twice per week on the phone.

If i get a window again tomorrow i will return to describe it.

Take care all and thanks for reading my diary.

[Petunia]

Hi Eqqnok,

 

I moved the topic you started in the symptoms forum to your introduction thread here because it was related to your own situation specifically. Please use this thread to track progress, write about symptoms, ask questions and communicate with the community, add to it whenever you want. Please bookmark it or follow it so you can find it again.

 

We ask members to put their drug and withdrawal history in the signature section. It appears below each of your posts and helps us to help you. Here are instructions for how to do it:

 

Please put your withdrawal history in your signature

 

 

[Carmie]

On 5/23/2018 at 10:54 PM, Eqqnok said:

I just jogged monday and today. I feel worse like 5-6% worse. I've asked my mom if i can come visit them and sleep for a night in there basement. She hasen't answered yet.

When i feel worse after moderate exercise i usually have to wait a day or two for the worsening to subcide.

Luckly i just hit a small window where my body is being hit with a lighter sence of wellbeing. It happend 3 days in a row now where i after midday get hit with a light sence of wellbeing.

Im also working with a therapist who will help me when im ready in the future to reduce the dose further.

Im still taking care of my parents garden and i talk to my older brother twice per week on the phone.

If i get a window again tomorrow i will return to describe it.

Take care all and thanks for reading my diary.

 

Hi Eqqnok, 

 

How are u doing? Yes, exercising n doing too much can make symptoms worse. We need to be really balanced in all we do. 

 

Glad to hear you’re getting lots of windows though. 

 

This is is definitely a good place to journal, write down what’s happening, your positive thoughts, your pain etc etc.

 

One of these days you’ll look back here n think : “ Wow! I’ve made it.” 

 

Now that your thread has been moved here into introductions a lot more people will read it. Please feel free to reach out to others on this forum too. It’s a good support system. 

 

Sending hugs🤗

[Eqqnok]

13 minutes ago, Carmie said:

 

Hi Eqqnok, 

 

How are u doing? Yes, exercising n doing too much can make symptoms worse. We need to be really balanced in all we do. 

 

Glad to hear you’re getting lots of windows though. 

 

This is is definitely a good place to journal, write down what’s happening, your positive thoughts, your pain etc etc.

 

One of these days you’ll look back here n think : “ Wow! I’ve made it.” 

 

Now that your thread has been moved here into introductions a lot more people will read it. Please feel free to reach out to others on this forum too. It’s a good support system. 

 

Sending hugs🤗

Im doing ok. Im drinking coffee in the morning and i most of the times get zero effect. It feels like the emotional numbness im having is blocking the effect of the coffee.

I get no ill effect of the coffee.

 

I get 3 kinds of windows:

One is where my emotions shines trough and i feel so alive and optimistic. I just had two of those windows the last two days.

 

The second is a light sence of wellbeing in the body and brain.

The third is a feeling of being focused and clear minded.

 

Ive had windows everyday for the last 4-5 days lasting 1-3 hours once pr day. I still get moderate anxiety and i sleep on average 4 hours. But for the past 19 months ive been improving alot.

I don't jog anymore but i get light exercise like walking and gardening work. I treat myself every once in awhile with an icecream or whatever. I lost weight not because i feel sick,  but because my appetite has gotten better. I lost 30 pounds. Im not obese just overweight.

Thanks for asking 😊

 

[Carmie]

2 hours ago, Eqqnok said:

Im doing ok. Im drinking coffee in the morning and i most of the times get zero effect. It feels like the emotional numbness im having is blocking the effect of the coffee.

I get no ill effect of the coffee.

 

I get 3 kinds of windows:

One is where my emotions shines trough and i feel so alive and optimistic. I just had two of those windows the last two days.

 

The second is a light sence of wellbeing in the body and brain.

The third is a feeling of being focused and clear minded.

 

Ive had windows everyday for the last 4-5 days lasting 1-3 hours once pr day. I still get moderate anxiety and i sleep on average 4 hours. But for the past 19 months ive been improving alot.

I don't jog anymore but i get light exercise like walking and gardening work. I treat myself every once in awhile with an icecream or whatever. I lost weight not because i feel sick,  but because my appetite has gotten better. I lost 30 pounds. Im not obese just overweight.

Thanks for asking 😊

 

 

Hi again, 

 

Glad you’re doing okay Eqqnok, 

 

I don’t drink coffee, haven’t had any for over thirty years. I’m glad you’re experiencing windows too. Great explanation of your windows. I have CFS as well so even when I’m in a window I still have symptoms that I get on a daily basis anyway, like severe brain fog and running on empty.  I could never jog like you did, I would collapse n end up in bed not being able to move.

 

Well done on your weight loss. That’s quite an accomplishment.

 

Keep recording how you’re doing here on your thread. It’s encouraging for others to read how you’re getting windows. 

 

We are all up n down, up n down all the time. It’s good that others here understand n can relate.

 

Take care💚

 

 

[Eqqnok]

Today i decided to reduce my coffee by 6 cups. Im down from 8 cups to two cups pr day.

I wan't to get off the coffee completly in the future because i know it will help me in my future tapering process.

I have support of my family to get trough this. But not in a direct way.

Im going for dinner at my parents place in two days and we have an agreement in my family that when i do i can sleep in there basement.

 

Sometimes i try something new to see if it can improve my symptoms. I can't jog even though i tried awhile back. Now i try to reduce the coffee dose to see if it will affect me in a positive way.

Im also getting therapy which i have been getting for the last 3 months.

We work with my anxious thoughts about reducing the dose in the future and what worries i might have. I can feel it slowly helping.

 

I still strugle with the same symptoms like moderate anxiety and the burning sensation. But the new thing is im trying to get off the coffee while im still in protracted antipsychotic withdrawal. I plan on staying on the low dose of coffee for a longer period until my brain has learned to create the neurotransmitters again.

 

I take suppliments. Not because i think they affect my withdrawal symptoms but because i want to improve my health while trying to get stable.

Edited May 29, 2018 by Eqqnok

[Eqqnok]

I had to increase the dose again because i feelt worse. The dose of the coffee not the drug. I feel sorry for having to write so soon after.

But i get reduced anxiety and increased mood from the coffee and it helps me cope.

Im having some burning in the brain today and some moderate anxiety.

I have a few plans today and i look forward to when the next symptom lessens.

I think i will write tomorrow or in a few days again in this tread. Im going on a small two days vacation next week with my mom and i look forward to that.

Feel sorry for having to admit that alot of coffee makes me feel better.

Tomorrow i will be writing about more of my windows and what i try to do to cope with the waves.

 

[Carmie]

22 hours ago, Eqqnok said:

coffee

 

Hi there Eqqnok, 

 

Good to see you want to reduce your coffee. 

 

Maybe reducing from 8 cups down to two cups so quickly is not the way to go as you will get withdrawals from that as well. Caffeine is an addiction too and that’s why you’re finding it so hard. When you get your fix you feel better as you’re body is craving it. 

 

If you want to get off coffee reduce slowly. Start off with drinking 7 cups instead of 8 for a while, then go down to 6 etc etc. 

 

That way you won’t be affected as much from the caffeine withdrawals on top of what your already dealing with.

 

💚💚

 

 

[Eqqnok]

On ‎5‎/‎30‎/‎2018 at 9:18 AM, Carmie said:

 

Hi there Eqqnok, 

 

Good to see you want to reduce your coffee. 

 

Maybe reducing from 8 cups down to two cups so quickly is not the way to go as you will get withdrawals from that as well. Caffeine is an addiction too and that’s why you’re finding it so hard. When you get your fix you feel better as you’re body is craving it. 

 

If you want to get off coffee reduce slowly. Start off with drinking 7 cups instead of 8 for a while, then go down to 6 etc etc. 

 

That way you won’t be affected as much from the caffeine withdrawals on top of what your already dealing with.

 

💚💚

 

 

Hi Carnie. I was able to reduce the dose of my coffee by one cup without feeling worse. I wonder if some of the same applies to jogging, that instead of jogging for 30 min 3 times pr week. That i can jog for 20 min each time and slowly work my way up. I plan on trying it today and if it helps its great, if it fails its how it is. I wan't to do something active without overdoing it. I will try it over the next few days and then ill return to write about how i have been doing. I used to be able

to jog for 1 hour 3 times pr week.

[Eqqnok]

Yesterday i had a major window which first lasted 2 hours then faded abit and came back later that day.

It was a window with optimism and positive happy mood. It lasted 4-5 hours.

Today i feelt unwell but not like crap.

I have inner vibrations in my brain and a sence wearing something tight around my brain.

Feelts unwell from 9 this morning to 12:20 but deceided to rest and the time past by rather quick.

Im working my way up to 30 min of jogging each day and im on 20 min each day now. When i get in sligthly better shape i increase the jogging by 3 min.

 

Im going home to my parents to eat tomorrow. This friday im going on a two day vication with my mom and i look forward to it. Sometimes after my jog i can feel an electric feeling in my brain or some of the inner vibrations stops for 10 sec. I take that as a good sign.

I will write here again friday or saturday.

 

Stay well.

Regards eqqnok.

[Carmie]

On 6/6/2018 at 12:05 AM, Eqqnok said:

Yesterday i had a major window which first lasted 2 hours then faded abit and came back later that day.

It was a window with optimism and positive happy mood. It lasted 4-5 hours.

Today i feelt unwell but not like crap.

I have inner vibrations in my brain and a sence wearing something tight around my brain.

Feelts unwell from 9 this morning to 12:20 but deceided to rest and the time past by rather quick.

Im working my way up to 30 min of jogging each day and im on 20 min each day now. When i get in sligthly better shape i increase the jogging by 3 min.

 

Im going home to my parents to eat tomorrow. This friday im going on a two day vication with my mom and i look forward to it. Sometimes after my jog i can feel an electric feeling in my brain or some of the inner vibrations stops for 10 sec. I take that as a good sign.

I will write here again friday or saturday.

 

Stay well.

Regards eqqnok.

 

Hi Eqqnok, 

 

So glad you got a window, they are always like a ray of sunshine, aren’t they? ☀️

 

When they dissapear at least we have the hope of knowing they will come again. 

 

Good idea to rest like you did when the symptoms were bad. If you push yourself too much they just get worse. Any kind of stress can make our symptoms worse. We need to be very balanced in this process.

 

Hope you have a nice vacation with your mum. It’s good sometimes to get away to a different environment. I stayed with a friend last weekend. Loved sitting around the fire pit chilling n having a laugh.

 

Sending hugs🤗

 

 

[Eqqnok]

On ‎6‎/‎8‎/‎2018 at 9:27 AM, Carmie said:

 

Hi Eqqnok, 

 

So glad you got a window, they are always like a ray of sunshine, aren’t they? ☀️

 

When they dissapear at least we have the hope of knowing they will come again. 

 

Good idea to rest like you did when the symptoms were bad. If you push yourself too much they just get worse. Any kind of stress can make our symptoms worse. We need to be very balanced in this process.

 

Hope you have a nice vacation with your mum. It’s good sometimes to get away to a different environment. I stayed with a friend last weekend. Loved sitting around the fire pit chilling n having a laugh.

 

Sending hugs🤗

 

 

Friday i went to bed early, but saturday we were on a trip to a city nearby. We ate lunch and shopped a bit, then we went back to my parents hut and went for walks with my niece. In the evening before dinner i feelt a bit withdrawal sick with burning sensation in my brain. I deceided to try and fight it and i told my 4 year old niece and her mom that me and my mom were glad they came by for dinner. Then the withdrawal flipped when i deceided to try and push trough with the positivity and i became more positive. We sat out in the hot weather for a few hours, then my niece and her mom went home. My mom and i watched the tv for a few hours before i wen't to bed. I had to close the window i had opened to let the cold air in because i got paranoid(Its one of my rare withdrawal symptoms) Its like bursts of burning sensations in my brains, but the sensation dosen't stay for very long. Im in a okay mood today and what i was trying to say before that staying more positive and trying to disprove any negative thoughts sometimes helps. I thought because its withdrawal that the symptoms dosent respond to

those methods, but i found out they somewhat do. I don't have any plans the coming week, but im telling my self everyday that im healing and even though the symptoms are a little worse at the moment i try to fight the negative thoughts. I have rebound REM sleep and im dreaming like crazy, but i know that it wont last forever and i know that when my brain

tells me i don't like to be home alone in my apartment that its a lie. So to sum it all up, the symptoms are a little worse at the moment, but i heard that the symptoms can flip for the better suddenly and since my healing is not liniear that might be the case.

[Carmie]

Hi Eqqnok, 

 

You are doing amazing with that positive attitude of yours, keep it up! I’m glad the positivity is helping you with the withdrawals. Yes, that’s a great idea to tell yourself every day that you’re healing. 

 

So true, our symptoms can change so much from day to day. Not only that, they can change a million times in one day too. Every time we’re in a wave we have to keep thinking windows do eventually come again. 

 

Glad you had had a nice time with your parents and niece. 

 

Sending hugs🤗

 

 

[Eqqnok]

On 6/12/2018 at 12:57 PM, Carmie said:

Hi Eqqnok, 

 

You are doing amazing with that positive attitude of yours, keep it up! I’m glad the positivity is helping you with the withdrawals. Yes, that’s a great idea to tell yourself every day that you’re healing. 

 

So true, our symptoms can change so much from day to day. Not only that, they can change a million times in one day too. Every time we’re in a wave we have to keep thinking windows do eventually come again. 

 

Glad you had had a nice time with your parents and niece. 

 

Sending hugs🤗

 

 

For the past week i had it rather stable. Still symptomatic but no major wave.

We wen't home to a friend of my parents 3 days ago to eat cake and talk. We were there about an hour and then we went home to my parents house where i wen't to bed. Right before i went to bed i was hit with a window of calmness that lasted 2 hours, it made going to sleep alot easier.

I wont call it a window but the last 2 days when i talked to my friends we had fun and laughed alot.

Im also down from 8 cups of coffee to 6 cups and i have been jogging now everyday for about 25 mins with 2 min of ekstra sprint, so 27 min in total.

 

I bought a small gift for my mom because she washes my cloths when i don't feel well. I bought 1 container of organic lemon grass and 1 container of organic ground dried ginger.

I don't feel ready to reduce my dose of coffee further yet.

Tomorrow im going home to my parents place to eat dinner.

I have a burning sensation in my right part of the brain right now and i feel slightly sick. But the last week wen't by rather fast.

[Carmie]

6 hours ago, Eqqnok said:

For the past week i had it rather stable. Still symptomatic but no major wave.

We wen't home to a friend of my parents 3 days ago to eat cake and talk. We were there about an hour and then we went home to my parents house where i wen't to bed. Right before i went to bed i was hit with a window of calmness that lasted 2 hours, it made going to sleep alot easier.

I wont call it a window but the last 2 days when i talked to my friends we had fun and laughed alot.

Im also down from 8 cups of coffee to 6 cups and i have been jogging now everyday for about 25 mins with 2 min of ekstra sprint, so 27 min in total.

 

I bought a small gift for my mom because she washes my cloths when i don't feel well. I bought 1 container of organic lemon grass and 1 container of organic ground dried ginger.

I don't feel ready to reduce my dose of coffee further yet.

Tomorrow im going home to my parents place to eat dinner.

I have a burning sensation in my right part of the brain right now and i feel slightly sick. But the last week wen't by rather fast.

 

Great to hear that you’re rather stable at the moment Eqqnok, 

 

Biy, it feels good, doesn’t it? Yes, I’m stable too but still symptomatic like you. I’m in a window though, but I think hardly anyone who is in a window is 100% in a window. There always still seem to be symptoms. 

 

That’s great you got your eight cups of coffee down to six, it would be great if your next goal is to get that down to five. If you don’t feel ready to do that that, as you said, see it as a goal in the future. It feels good to accomplish some goals when our lives are so chaotic from the withdrawals.

 

So great you had fun a laughed a lot with your friends. It’s really important to do fun things when you can, because then when you’re in a major wave you have fun memories to look back on. 

 

That’s nice you bought your mum a gift for what she’s done for you. I love buying people presents to show my appreciation for their friendship and all they do for me. I love giving cards too, I’ve got a bunch of cards here at the moment, and hope to get around to writing in them soon. 

 

Hope you have a nice time at your parent’s place.

 

Sending hugs🤗

[Eqqnok]

On 6/16/2018 at 11:56 PM, Carmie said:

 

Great to hear that you’re rather stable at the moment Eqqnok, 

 

Biy, it feels good, doesn’t it? Yes, I’m stable too but still symptomatic like you. I’m in a window though, but I think hardly anyone who is in a window is 100% in a window. There always still seem to be symptoms. 

 

That’s great you got your eight cups of coffee down to six, it would be great if your next goal is to get that down to five. If you don’t feel ready to do that that, as you said, see it as a goal in the future. It feels good to accomplish some goals when our lives are so chaotic from the withdrawals.

 

So great you had fun a laughed a lot with your friends. It’s really important to do fun things when you can, because then when you’re in a major wave you have fun memories to look back on. 

 

That’s nice you bought your mum a gift for what she’s done for you. I love buying people presents to show my appreciation for their friendship and all they do for me. I love giving cards too, I’ve got a bunch of cards here at the moment, and hope to get around to writing in them soon. 

 

Hope you have a nice time at your parent’s place.

 

Sending hugs🤗

I had an okay week this week. Though still with withdrawal symptoms. Today is like my brain is burning and its unpleasant, but its not a new symptom.

My depression still havent returned but my memory issues are abit worse.

Im trying to make this friday pass and get on to saturday.

I just got a text from my dentist that next month after i visited my brother i have an apointment with her. Thats fine with me.

So today as i said its mainly the burning in the brain, memory issues and inner vibrations.

Im going home to my parents place sunday to eat dinner and sleep.

So you could say im having a wave right now. I don't jog anymore and i don't like to think about it right now that im not jogging. Tuesday this week i had a good day where i laughed with friend and talked. 

The time also went by rather fast wensday and this morning i was feeling abit strange and then the wave came.

I have decided to just relax today and make time pass.

I will keep notice about when the wave ends.

[Carmie]

On 6/22/2018 at 8:20 PM, Eqqnok said:

I had an okay week this week. Though still with withdrawal symptoms. Today is like my brain is burning and its unpleasant, but its not a new symptom.

My depression still havent returned but my memory issues are abit worse.

Im trying to make this friday pass and get on to saturday.

I just got a text from my dentist that next month after i visited my brother i have an apointment with her. Thats fine with me.

So today as i said its mainly the burning in the brain, memory issues and inner vibrations.

Im going home to my parents place sunday to eat dinner and sleep.

So you could say im having a wave right now. I don't jog anymore and i don't like to think about it right now that im not jogging. Tuesday this week i had a good day where i laughed with friend and talked. 

The time also went by rather fast wensday and this morning i was feeling abit strange and then the wave came.

I have decided to just relax today and make time pass.

I will keep notice about when the wave ends.

 

Hi Eqqnok, 

 

It was nice to hear that you had a day where you laughed with a friend, I hope that you have many more of those. I find it a good idea if you’re too sick to socialise to put on some comedies too and have a little laugh that way too. When you’re in a wave you don’t feel like laughing but comedies are a great distraction nonetheless.

 

Yes, all we can do in a wave is ride them out, they do eventually end. Like a literal wave that’s rolling, it does eventually come to a stop and we have calm water for a bit. 

 

You’re right to be careful with jogging, it is a really intense exercise and when you’re going through withdrawals you have to try and calm down your central nervous system, and not rev it up. Maybe some light walking when you feel up to it. It’s nice to be outside in nature. Take it easy. 

 

Sending hugs🤗

 

 

[Eqqnok]

On 6/28/2018 at 6:14 AM, Carmie said:

 

Hi Eqqnok, 

 

It was nice to hear that you had a day where you laughed with a friend, I hope that you have many more of those. I find it a good idea if you’re too sick to socialise to put on some comedies too and have a little laugh that way too. When you’re in a wave you don’t feel like laughing but comedies are a great distraction nonetheless.

 

Yes, all we can do in a wave is ride them out, they do eventually end. Like a literal wave that’s rolling, it does eventually come to a stop and we have calm water for a bit. 

 

You’re right to be careful with jogging, it is a really intense exercise and when you’re going through withdrawals you have to try and calm down your central nervous system, and not rev it up. Maybe some light walking when you feel up to it. It’s nice to be outside in nature. Take it easy. 

 

Sending hugs🤗

 

 

Hi carmie, just wan't to say thank you for following my tread. It means the world to me.

I don't have that many waves at the moment, but i dont have many windows either.

Sometimes it feels like there are a tight band around my brain squeezing my brain. But i can also feel that sometimes the tightness lift for a moment or two, so i know my brain is working on resolving the issue.

The most bothersome symptoms i have at the moment are the tight band feeling, somewhat insomnia, recklessness and blunted emotions.

I have a weekend coming up where im going to visit my brother, he lives around 100 km from me so im taking the train.

When i say i have blunted emotions i also sometimes get a window when i feel my emotions really well and i feel alive. So i know my brain is working on it.

My mom and dad are going on hollyday tomorrow and they are planning to pick me up in two weeks so we can have a little week togehter.

Even though im still suffering its important to give other people hope.

I don't have 30 different withdrawal symptoms anymore, i maybe have 7-8 so alot have happened in the last two years with my protracted withdrawal.

I have some health anxiety atm but im getting by and i know its a lie my brain is telling me.

I can't help but to think what will happen with my symptoms in the last 6 months of 2018 and next year is my 30th birtday.

Even though its my birthday the 10th of january im planning on celebrating my birthday in may next year.

To be sure we have great weather that day.

My sleep is sometimes a little up and down, the most i get is 4-5 hours and the minimum is 2-3 hours.

I tried having a window awhile back when i got to sleep and woke up 8 hours later, even though im drinking a s... load of coffee. So i know my brain is working to resolve alot of things.

I don't get much exercise atm but i do walk everyday and i still take care of my parents garden which they are paying me 80 bucks for.

ill return to write some more in two weeks. Thanks for following me and i hope you are coping aswell.

[Carmie]

That wonderful that your withdrawal symptoms have lessened Eqqnok, 

 

Look forward to hearing how you are doing when you post again in a couple of weeks💚

 

[Eqqnok]

On 7/12/2018 at 2:57 AM, Carmie said:

That wonderful that your withdrawal symptoms have lessened Eqqnok, 

 

Look forward to hearing how you are doing when you post again in a couple of weeks💚

 

Hi carmie. I thought about writing in a couple of weeks but feel like i have something i need to get of my chest.

 

Its true that i don't have hundred of symptoms, but the one i have a pretty tough to deal with.

Im dealing with anxiety, cognitive impairment and a burning sensation.

I visited a friend of my parents yesterday and before i visited her i was anxious, like a general sence of moderate anxiety. Then i came to her place and we talked for 90 min.

Then i wen't home and when i got home i was hit with a window. It feelt like a mix of slight optimism and hope.

I have deceided to stay on my drug and just get stable and get on with my life.

I know that probaly dosen't make me popular on a site like this.

 

Its abit tough to sometimes being home alone and feeling anxious. I don't if you can follow my train of thougt but i sometimes wonder when i will see some real improvement.

I think i told you that i have been improving for 2 years. But in oktober its been 2 years on 500 mg amisulpride.

Alot have happend since and alot of symptoms have improved.

But my anxiety is a moderate anxiety that often tells me that nothing will happen in the last 6 months of 2018.

That kind of makes me nervious. I guess its really a part of withdrawal and got nothing to do with reality. I feel i need some comfort that i will improve in the next 6 months.

 

This friday im going home to my parents place because they are getting home from there vecation.

Then this saturday we are going to my cousins birthday and after that we are going to my parents summerhut in a different part of denmark where we are staying for a week. Im looking forward to it.

But its mainly withdrawal anxiety im dealing with and im trying to deal with by setting small goals everday.

Like get out of my aparment everday, water my parents garden, listening to music, have my coffee and diet cola etc.

Can you give me some comfort or advice?

Sorry for writing such a long post.

 

[Carmie]

Hi @Eqqnok

 

Im glad you’re still getting windows here n there. That that slight optimism n hope for you must have felt great.

 

Yes, we do end up with all sorts of weird thoughts when we go through withdrawals. All our senses and our nervous system are heightened. Must be hard being in protracted withdrawal, I’m so sorry. Quite a few people on this site have protracted withdrawals.

 

In these bad times all we can do is really distract ourselves no matter how anxious or anhedonic we feel. I distract myself a lot with photography and crafts and Netflix when in waves, also music. I love going in nature too, I find that very soothing.

 

I can say one thing though that you could change, cut out the caffeine. When our nervous systems are already shot drinking caffeine is not a good idea. Probably not best to go cold turkey but just cut it down slowly until you aren’t drinking it anymore. 

 

With the small daily daily goals I would suggest not making too many at once. What I’ve found works best is to make one thing a habit at a time, then once that particular thing just becomes automatic to you try and make something else a habit. If you try and make too many things habits at once you end up doing nothing. 

 

Take care, sending hugs🤗

 

 

[Eqqnok]

On 7/19/2018 at 4:27 AM, Carmie said:

Hi @Eqqnok

 

Im glad you’re still getting windows here n there. That that slight optimism n hope for you must have felt great.

 

Yes, we do end up with all sorts of weird thoughts when we go through withdrawals. All our senses and our nervous system are heightened. Must be hard being in protracted withdrawal, I’m so sorry. Quite a few people on this site have protracted withdrawals.

 

In these bad times all we can do is really distract ourselves no matter how anxious or anhedonic we feel. I distract myself a lot with photography and crafts and Netflix when in waves, also music. I love going in nature too, I find that very soothing.

 

I can say one thing though that you could change, cut out the caffeine. When our nervous systems are already shot drinking caffeine is not a good idea. Probably not best to go cold turkey but just cut it down slowly until you aren’t drinking it anymore. 

 

With the small daily daily goals I would suggest not making too many at once. What I’ve found works best is to make one thing a habit at a time, then once that particular thing just becomes automatic to you try and make something else a habit. If you try and make too many things habits at once you end up doing nothing. 

 

Take care, sending hugs🤗

 

 

Hi carmie🙂 Yes the anhedonia is tough.

I not so much having windows or waves atm. Its more just constant symptoms.

I went to the dentist this tuesday and i wasnt nervous which i was a 8 months ago when i last went to the dentist.

I feel even though i dont feel windows and waves atm that my ability to handle stress is better.

 

The coffee usually makes me feel better and not worse. The symptoms im struggeling with atm are ahnedonia, rem rebound sleep, fatigue and a feeling of inner vibrations.

Its like the symptoms have shiftet from windows and waves to more constant symptoms. Actually i don't really feel anxious which is a good thing, but the anxiety could change.

The ahnedonia sucks the pleasure out of life but i know its a withdrawal symptoms.

Im with my parents in the summer hut.

I started to jog yesterday and what im doing different this time is that i have increased the intensity of the jogging.

As far as progress i don't know what my brain is working on.

I sometimes wonder what protracted withdrawal really is, if its reduced neurotransmitters or if its receptor changes.

When i wrote to you last time i had a panic attack which was startet because i drank a cola with aspartame. Which i dont do anymore.

But yes im trying to treat and help my brain by jogging.

[RusTW]

Hi Eqqnok I was reading your post about just having symptoms.do you get brief windows or relief during the day or night.Do ya ever feel like your old self. Even for a blink.I get this where I switch back and forth and my brain tries to grasp at the old me but I can't connect to the feeling.very frustrating.I think this is healing though.like the brain is trying to remember feelings or emotions.

 

[Carmie]

On 7/25/2018 at 9:34 PM, Eqqnok said:

Hi carmie🙂 Yes the anhedonia is tough.

I not so much having windows or waves atm. Its more just constant symptoms.

I went to the dentist this tuesday and i wasnt nervous which i was a 8 months ago when i last went to the dentist.

I feel even though i dont feel windows and waves atm that my ability to handle stress is better.

 

The coffee usually makes me feel better and not worse. The symptoms im struggeling with atm are ahnedonia, rem rebound sleep, fatigue and a feeling of inner vibrations.

Its like the symptoms have shiftet from windows and waves to more constant symptoms. Actually i don't really feel anxious which is a good thing, but the anxiety could change.

The ahnedonia sucks the pleasure out of life but i know its a withdrawal symptoms.

Im with my parents in the summer hut.

I started to jog yesterday and what im doing different this time is that i have increased the intensity of the jogging.

As far as progress i don't know what my brain is working on.

I sometimes wonder what protracted withdrawal really is, if its reduced neurotransmitters or if its receptor changes.

When i wrote to you last time i had a panic attack which was startet because i drank a cola with aspartame. Which i dont do anymore.

But yes im trying to treat and help my brain by jogging.

 

Hi Eqqnok, 

 

Are you still in the windows and waves cycle? 

 

Yes, anhedonia can suck the pleasure out of life but I still make myself do things even when I’m anhedonic. I make myself learn new things and then when the anhedonia subsides I’ve got new skills. Love learning new art n craft stuff. I also like to learn new things on YouTube, you can learn so much on pretty much any topic.

 

Enjoy your jogging but be careful not to overdo it. 

 

Sending hugs🤗

[Eqqnok]

On 8/10/2018 at 12:59 AM, Carmie said:

 

Hi Eqqnok, 

 

Are you still in the windows and waves cycle? 

 

Yes, anhedonia can suck the pleasure out of life but I still make myself do things even when I’m anhedonic. I make myself learn new things and then when the anhedonia subsides I’ve got new skills. Love learning new art n craft stuff. I also like to learn new things on YouTube, you can learn so much on pretty much any topic.

 

Enjoy your jogging but be careful not to overdo it. 

 

Sending hugs🤗

Hi carmie. I tried to jogg but i feel terrible afterwards so i stopped. Every once in awhile i try to jogg to see how it goes. As far as anxiety i can't even jogg 10 min.

When i don't jogg i dont feel so anxious and i don't loose my appetit.

I feelt like i needed to tell you something and that is im back to drinking alot of coffee at the moment.

When i reduce the coffee i start to feel terrible even when i do it slow, so i dont plan on adjusting my caffeine intake at the moment.

 

Im talking every 2 weeks with my therapist who is an ekspert in psyatric drug withdrawal and she is helping me trough this. Tommorow im going with my parents to there summerhut in the westeren part of denmark and im looking forward to it. We are staying there to sunday.

My brother is on vacation to italy so i cant speek with him atm. Im looking forward to he gets home.

 

Sometimes i want to stay on my 500 mg of solian. Sometimes i feel like it could be exiting to get on a lower dose. When i don't feel like tapering in the future its because im tired of the withdrawal. I still firmly believe that the reason i have protracted withdrawal is do to the fact that i tapered to quick.

 

 

[Carmie]

Hi Eqqnok, 

 

Glad to hear you’re not pushing yourself so much with the jogging anymore if it’s causing you anxiety. 

 

It sounds like youre you’re addicted to coffee n when you try n cut down you get withdrawals, that’s why you feel worse.

 

That’s good your therapist understand withdrawals. What kind of advise has she given you? 

 

How was the summerhut? It’s nice going on holidays, isn’t it? Getting out of the day to day rut. I’ve just been on holidays to the beach. We had some beautiful, relaxing indoor n outdoor swimming pools where we stayed too. The whole area we were in was a great place to chill. Everything one needed was in walking distance. 

 

Yes protracted withdrawal most of the time seems to be from withdrawing too quickly from what I’ve read. 

 

Take care💚

 

 

[Eqqnok]

On 8/20/2018 at 12:48 AM, Carmie said:

Hi Eqqnok, 

 

Glad to hear you’re not pushing yourself so much with the jogging anymore if it’s causing you anxiety. 

 

It sounds like youre you’re addicted to coffee n when you try n cut down you get withdrawals, that’s why you feel worse.

 

That’s good your therapist understand withdrawals. What kind of advise has she given you? 

 

How was the summerhut? It’s nice going on holidays, isn’t it? Getting out of the day to day rut. I’ve just been on holidays to the beach. We had some beautiful, relaxing indoor n outdoor swimming pools where we stayed too. The whole area we were in was a great place to chill. Everything one needed was in walking distance. 

 

Yes protracted withdrawal most of the time seems to be from withdrawing too quickly from what I’ve read. 

 

Take care💚

 

 

Time passes but i seam to manage. This saturday its my moms 60th birthday and we are going to celebrate her in a local theme like park we have in my town.

I can feal the brain is working and sometimes i have a sence that the way my brain is going to improve is by suddenlig taking 3 steps forward. I don't sleep that well but i actually have some good news carmie.

For the last 3 weeks i think it is ive been able to reduce my coffee intake from from 8 cups down to 4. So thats 50% less and ive been able to do so without fealing worse.

I don't sleep that well at the moment and haven't been able to in awhile. I usually lay awake then i sleep maybe 2 hours. I then get up and stay awake to about 2 hours past midnight. Then i go to bed again and sleep between 3-4 hours of broken sleep. But even the broken sleep is enough so i don't feal completly trashed in the morning.

I still have the burning sensation in my brain stem, but i think it will dissapear someday.

Even though i had an off day we still managed to plan my 30th birthday the 10 of january. Even though there is like 4 months to that day im still exited by it.

We also planned what we are going to do for christmas and new years eve and its going to be very fun.

So im using some time at the moment with thinking about how my brain is going to heal, and i don't really know but i think next year is going to be an exiting time im my recovery process.

[Eqqnok]

Hello. Im in protracted antipsychotic withdrawal.

I had a long period where my distressing emotions where almost completly gone. 

But im trying to get trough this period where my limbic system is overactive.

So im looking for some tips on how to cope.

 

When my limbic system is running wild i get all sort of feelings. Its a mixture of guilt, amped up anxiety and a feeling that it might not end.

My mind is trying to make sence of why old emotions are returning. When my limbic system is amped up i might get a thought that might sound like this:

 

Will it ever end?

I can't eat, i should be eating(Guilt) 

Is it because i reduced my coffee intake.

Why are old feeling returning when i thought they left? 

 

Soo i would like to hear if any of you have some coping mecanisms? Im 2 and a half years in protracted withdrawal. I had a long period where i felt rather okay, and then my brain or the limbic withdrawal ampes up.