Sasha: So angry at everyone

[Sasha]

So going practically ct from 8 years of Citalopram. I feel like I’m in hell, I stopped taking Citalopram as I was fed up of feeling tired all the time. I also like a drink and have found if I went out and drank wine on Citalopram I would blackout and would have said and done some horrible things. I even got myself arrested 2 years ago after hitting a police officer and now have a criminal record! I’m a mother of two who has never been violent and is a nice person. It was so embarrassing!! 

So after yet another night ruined with my partner as I got in a mood and stormed off I thought enough was enough I’m coming of these drugs. 

I must add I was given these drugs for depression but have since been diagnosed with ptsd.

so the first week I was great for 3/4 days had so much energy but then the withdrawals kicked in. I’ve had tremors and haven’t been able to concentrate of anything, couldn’t even get my words right. The tremors have stopped but now I feel so angry and get mad over the slightest annoyances. I’m so horrible to my kids and snappy. I’m also so scared that this is me now and just to feel contentment will never happen let alone to think one day I’ll be happy.

Its about week 4 and I’m either crying or snappy or getting overwhelmed with everything down to even the ironing!

the anger is my main problem, I can’t keep being nasty to the kids , I need to keep my job and I’m worried about everything. Does anyone know how to control the rages I feel so I stop ‘picking’ in other people.

[ChessieCat]

Hi Sasha and welcome to SA,

 

When we take psychiatric drugs we develop a physiological dependence on them (not a physical dependence like caffeine or nicotine).  They change our brain.  The best way to get off these drugs is to taper so that your brain can adapt as you go to not getting as much of the drug.

 

SA's recommended taper protocol is to reduce by no more than 10% of the previous dose followed by a hold of about 4 weeks to allow the brain to adapt as you go.

 

Reinstatement of the drug which you have stopped taking is the only known was to relieve the withdrawal symptoms.  Because you have only been off Citalopram for 4 weeks there is a very good chance that reinstating the drug will be successful.  You would then stabilise for a few months and then you could taper by the recommended protocol.

 

I understand that you probably won't want to go back on citalopram, so I will tell you what happened to me, which I think might help you to understand how these drugs alter our brain.  I was taking 100mg Pristiq and reduced my dose to 50mg.  I suffered extreme cog fog for 3 weeks and had to totally concentrate on everything I did, even walking.  After 3 weeks I was unable to type.  Because I have been a typist for 40+ years I knew that something was wrong.  Thankfully I had joined SA a few days prior to this happening and they had suggested increasing my dose.  When I couldn't type I took extra Pristiq and after about 4 hours I was able to type again.  I knew without a doubt that is was because of the Pristiq.

 

If you decide not to reinstate you may be in for several years or more of withdrawal symptoms.  We have had some members here who have had to leave work, some have become bed bound, some have had to move in with relatives and some have had their relationship breakdown.

 

If you decide you would like to reinstate, it is better to take less then the last dose you were taking because your brain will already have made some adaptations during the 4 weeks you have been off and the previous dose might be too much.  The lower the dose you can reinstate and stabilise on the better.  It is better to start with a small dose and take a bit more if the withdrawal symptoms are unbearable, rather than taking too much.  I will give you some links to check out.

 

We ask all members to create a drug signature.  Please update it whenever you make a change so it remains current.

 

This is the preferred format:

 

A request: Would you summarize your history in a signature - ALL drugs, doses, dates, and discontinuations & reinstatements, in the last 12-24 months particularly?

• Please leave out symptoms and diagnoses.
• A list is easier to understand than one or multiple paragraphs. 

• Any drugs prior to 24 months ago can just be listed with start and stop years.
• Please use actual dates or approximate dates (mid-June, Late October) rather than relative time frames (last week, 3 months ago)
• Spell out months, e.g. "October" or "Oct."; 9/1/2016 can be interpreted as Jan. 9, 2016 or Sept. 1, 2016.
• Link to Account Settings – Create or Edit a signature.

 

Why taper by 10% of my dosage?

About reinstating and stabilizing to reduce withdrawal symptoms
 

Dr Joseph Glenmullen's WD Symptoms Checklist

 

Tips for tapering off Celexa (citalopram)

 

Brain Remodelling

Video:  Healing From Antidepressants - Patterns of Recovery

 

How do you talk to a doctor about tapering and withdrawal?

What should I expect from my doctor about withdrawal symptoms?

 

Keep it Simple, Slow and Stable

Keep Notes on Paper

 

 

This is your own Intro topic where you can ask questions and journal your progress.  We encourage members to visit other members' Intro topics so that they can support each other.

[Sasha]

Thank you for your reply, I have followed your advice and I am now waiting for a doctor to phone me back to get a prescription. I do feel really disappointed about taking them again but after reading the information I understand the need for tapering slowly and will follow the information.

 Thank you

[ChessieCat]

I'm glad the information was helpful.  It's understandable that you feel disappointed, but I'm really pleased that you have decided to reinstate.

 

Please remember to create your drug signature.

 

Q:  What was the last dose you took?

[powerback]

4 hours ago, Sasha said:

So going practically ct from 8 years of Citalopram. I feel like I’m in hell, I stopped taking Citalopram as I was fed up of feeling tired all the time. I also like a drink and have found if I went out and drank wine on Citalopram I would blackout and would have said and done some horrible things. I even got myself arrested 2 years ago after hitting a police officer and now have a criminal record! I’m a mother of two who has never been violent and is a nice person. It was so embarrassing!! 

So after yet another night ruined with my partner as I got in a mood and stormed off I thought enough was enough I’m coming of these drugs. 

I must add I was given these drugs for depression but have since been diagnosed with ptsd.

so the first week I was great for 3/4 days had so much energy but then the withdrawals kicked in. I’ve had tremors and haven’t been able to concentrate of anything, couldn’t even get my words right. The tremors have stopped but now I feel so angry and get mad over the slightest annoyances. I’m so horrible to my kids and snappy. I’m also so scared that this is me now and just to feel contentment will never happen let alone to think one day I’ll be happy.

Its about week 4 and I’m either crying or snappy or getting overwhelmed with everything down to even the ironing!

the anger is my main problem, I can’t keep being nasty to the kids , I need to keep my job and I’m worried about everything. Does anyone know how to control the rages I feel so I stop ‘picking’ in other people.

Welcome Sasha ,you will have to stay away from alcohol also ,this could be as big a problem as the drugs ,mixing the two is a recipe for disaster .I'm 3 years sober and my only regret is I didn't do it  10 years ago .I know this isn't what you want to hear but trust me its the best thing you'll ever do .

Doctors haven't a clue how serious these drugs are .

I have done a lot of research on alcohol and it affects us for nearly a week after the day of consumption .coming to the site is a great decision for you and your family  .I totally empathise with you about your behaviour on drugs/alcohol ,I'm lucky I'm still here after my escapades ,there are many members that have stayed away from alcohol,especialy when coming off meds .

Best of luck and stay safe .   

[Sasha]

Thank you for your reply.

 I think what happened was the Citalopram seemed to stop working so I turned to alcohol.

like many people the first two glasses of wine seems to relax and the world feels less stressful unfortunately I couldn’t stop at 2 then mixed with Citalopram and it spelled disaster. My friends would have to tell me what I said or done and I honestly wouldn’t remember a thing. Before Citalopram if I went out drinking socially I could get drunk but was a happy silly drunk never nasty or violent. Not that I’m saying being drunk is ever a great thing! So yes I’m going to have to stay away from the wine but that’s going to be tough. Thank god for chocolate 

[powerback]

1 minute ago, Sasha said:

Thank you for your reply.

 I think what happened was the Citalopram seemed to stop working so I turned to alcohol.

like many people the first two glasses of wine seems to relax and the world feels less stressful unfortunately I couldn’t stop at 2 then mixed with Citalopram and it spelled disaster. My friends would have to tell me what I said or done and I honestly wouldn’t remember a thing. Before Citalopram if I went out drinking socially I could get drunk but was a happy silly drunk never nasty or violent. Not that I’m saying being drunk is ever a great thing! So yes I’m going to have to stay away from the wine but that’s going to be tough. Thank god for chocolate 

I totally empathise Sasha ,I realised in the last couple of years I drank to self medicate from the age of 17 to 33,yikes I cringe  ,horrendous anxiety ,never knew what it was ,I basically ruined my 20s because of it .I'm very quick to reach out to any one with negative alcohol experiences ,I apologise if I come across  as Nanning you .

 

ITs so hard in our society and age plays a big part ,when we are young we are more drawn to groups and friends that do the same IE alcohol.from my experience you can be guaranteed most of your friends will not be in sight when you come to get in trouble because of alcohol.

If you are finding it tough staying away from it get help and no one has to know .you'd be well ahead of your peer group giving it up.replace wineoclock with something more positive .

Black outs  are very serious ,I had most of my black outs while drinking on meds .

 

It took me many years to realise I could not drink because 90% of the time it was negative to my life ,do yourself a favour and spend the money and time on your kids .

Be safe and best of luck with your taper .