Early-morning waking - managing the morning cortisol spike

[primrose]

I think I have cortisol mornings, too. Is the dread I experience upon awakening considered part of a cortisol morning? I must say it's the most horrible, horrible feeling. Words don't do it justice, but it seems a lot of posters here are talking about the same thing.

 

In the past, before my psych med troubles, I'd experience low moods and sadness and lethargy and various symptoms of "depression." But nothing I experienced before comes close to this black dread. It's cosmic in scope. From the moment my eyes open I simply wish to cease existing, but it's not something I would call a suicidal urge. It's more hopeless than that.

 

The only relief is if by some miracle I can fall asleep again, but that's almost never.

 

 

 

I liked the way you wrote that, but sorry to hear you are having this experience.

 

Even if you do go back to sleep, you wake up feeling worse.

I take trazodone, and when I was getting really bad cortisol mornings, at the start of my diazepam taper, I would jerk awake up at stupid oclock, very early in the morning, on red alert, feeling this great sense of doom.

I'd take a trazodone, and start to relax and drift back off to sleep, but would wake after some time, feeling worse.

I am terrible at getting up, so when I wake, I lie there dozing, and with cortisol mornings, I used to find that bad thoughts would swoop down and send me into panic mode, with racing heart and a stomach that think's it's going downhill on a roller-coaster.

Sudden worries would rise up from nowhere, worries about my home about my money, etc.

I would be like this all day, so anxious that I did some stupid things because of that anxiety.

I would be gripped by terror until late at night till the small hours and only then would I feel the anxiety begin to lift. I would then go to bed, much calmer and reassured, but would emerge out of the bedroom, next day, a totally different person, fuelled by excess cortisol.

[westcoast]

Wow, primrose. Awful, and too familiar.

I woke up at 1am and decided not to take any Seroquel. I'm seeing Dr. Shipko on 9/9 and want to be my unmedicated self.

I ended up reading til sunrise and haven't been to sleep at all. I realize we should get regular sleep, but what's that? Around 3am I began to drift off, but after putting down my reading and turning off the light, BOING! I was back on full alert. I hope the sleepless night earns me a night of real sleep tonight, but the way I am these days, I think it won't. I'm always "activated" even when I'm technically tired. I suppose some docs would call it mania, but if so it's a mixed state and it's despicable, as it comes with none of the pleasant aspects of mania, which I did experience at the beginning, much to my eventual downfall.

ANYWAY, trudging onwards. House is a PIGSTY and I hope to chip away at some of it. (Brain crashes as images of endless and impossible tasks overwhelm.)

[Addax]

How is it a person in withdrawal can feel so horrible, be so utterly exhausted, anxious, restless, depressed and trembling for the first half of a day, then somehow morph into feeling almost normal and essentially symptom free for the second half of the day, only to go to bed and wake-up to have it start all over again?

 

From dispair to hope in one day, everyday?

 

What is this phenomenon? It must be tied to Circadian rhythm, no?

[Meimeiquest]

I think it is because cortisol follows a circadian rhythm.

[Petunia]

Me too, it seems to be related to cortisol.  Here is another long thread which discusses it:

 

I Hate Cortisol Mornings  topics merged

 

I used to think that withdrawal elevates morning cortisol levels, but now I'm wondering if its more likely we just become more sensitive to our normal fluctuating levels.  I'm super sensitive to everything else, so why not my own morning cortisol surge?

[Rhiannon]

I've just found a couple of studies showing that vitamin C (at what are considered high doses, 1500 mg or so) seems to reduce the cortisol response to intense exercise (one set of studies) and a stressful public speaking situation (another study). (Well, actually, I only found the actual studies in the exercise case, not the other one, just read a couple of references to it in articles online.)

 

Anyway this interested me because I had been having worse morning cortisol symptoms during and since my trip to Texas when my mother passed away. Certainly there is plenty of stress to cause increased cortisol, but one of the other things that was different was that I generally take about 2000 mg of vitamin C about five days a week, and during my trip I took much less, for two weeks.

 

So during this last night when I woke up about five hours after going to sleep (which I do pretty much every night) I took 2000 mg of vitamin C because why not. I managed to go back to sleep afterwards and when I woke up later my cortisol response was much less than it has been for the past week. In fact, I feel sort of dozy this morning. So, huh. Interesting. Of course there could be other factors (I got some fairly intense exercise yesterday).

 

But at least in my case, since I already supplement with C, I'm going to try to be more consistent with it every day.

 

I'm intentionally NOT saying "take vitamin C", you may note. That's because I don't really know what other effects it might have on people in withdrawal. But if you already take it and you know it doesn't cause you any problems, it might be something to experiment with. I am definitely going to be taking it like this (a bolus dose during the night) whenever I find myself going through periods of bad cortisol mornings. Will report back.

[Meimeiquest]

I am taking 1000mg twice daily with meals as part of my orthomolecular treatment. They said it was for adrenal support. Read elsewhere you will develop GI symptoms if you take too much. Read another elsewhere that more than 500mg a day can contribute to kidney stones. Also not recommending anything .l

[4katie]

Hello fellow cortisol morning sufferers. I'm sorry to know there are others out there that are plagued by this terrible morning cortisol garbage....but I do feel less alone after reading these posts. I had a 24/hr morning cortisol test and the results showed very high levels (around 850). Because of this I was referred to see an endocronologist and have an appointment this week, and my naturopath believes I may have issues in my endocrine system that would explain the anxiety I have always suffered from in varying degrees and for which I was medicated with celexa and later effexor. I am now in my 4th effexor free week and am having what I believe are intense withdrawal symptoms in addition to the almost unbearable cortisol wake ups, day after day. I'm wondering if others here have had their cortisol levels tested and if these results/working with an endocronoligist has brought relief or answers? Wishing everyone the best in their journeys and paths to wellness!

[westcoast]

Hi 4 Katie, thanks for the info. I have not had my cortisol tested. My current GP poo-pooed my concern about cortisol, told me to see a shrink and take more junk. So I guess I am in the market for a new doctor. You say your level was 850. What is the normal range?

And yes, it's a dreadful way to begin the day. Did you have this when you were just anxious, before the meds?

As for Effexor withdrawal...I hope you have some caring friends and family to see you through. I ruined my future and am rebuilding as well as I can as we speak. Career over, finances wrecked, boyfriend gone...

 

WC

[Meimeiquest]

Hello fellow cortisol morning sufferers. I'm sorry to know there are others out there that are plagued by this terrible morning cortisol garbage....but I do feel less alone after reading these posts. I had a 24/hr morning cortisol test and the results showed very high levels (around 850). Because of this I was referred to see an endocronologist and have an appointment this week, and my naturopath believes I may have issues in my endocrine system that would explain the anxiety I have always suffered from in varying degrees and for which I was medicated with celexa and later effexor. I am now in my 4th effexor free week and am having what I believe are intense withdrawal symptoms in addition to the almost unbearable cortisol wake ups, day after day. I'm wondering if others here have had their cortisol levels tested and if these results/working with an endocronoligist has brought relief or answers? Wishing everyone the best in their journeys and paths to wellness!

Mine were tested by a regular functional medicine doctor while I was on full drugs. It was 130, much lower than yours. But he thought about 100 was the tipping point where people feel sick. If it's not full Cushings, he feels it is from some sort of stress, inflammation being the most common, and gut issues being the most common source of inflammation. Several have been doing the Paleo Autoimmune (PAI) or GAPS diet with good results. I feel guilty even saying that as I have had the worst dinner tonight on my husband's birthday. I'll not be feeling well tomorrow. But in full-blown withdrawal, I think it is pretty much unchecked cortisol, with little to do but endure it. I hope the endo can help...or at least not hurt you.

[Rhiannon]

I've had the same problem with healthcare people not even wanting to hear that withdrawal causes high cortisol. I mean it's hard enough for me to get them on the page of supporting my taper and the idea that psych drugs might not be 100% wonderful, and then I take them to another level of mind blown, there's something ELSE they didn't know?

 

Well mostly it's this one naturopath I was hoping could help me with my thyroid issues. It's looking experientially like my main problem is poor conversion of T4 to T3 in the liver which appears to correlate with times when my cortisol is high, which in fact is one of the things that causes reduced conversion of T4 to T3 so that makes sense.  But when I tried to explain this to the naturopath she got that defensive look they get when you actually know more about something than they do.

 

I hate our healthcare system, including the how doctors are educated and trained part.

 

On the positive side, the current spate of cortisol mornings is calming down. I'm starting to scoonch my Valium a little getting ready to make another small cut in a couple of weeks. I want to get a little progress under my belt before the holidays because that's a tricky time, with all the visits (erratic schedule, travel) and bad food (it's very hard to resist all those goodies in the break room all the time).

[Barbarannamated]

Article about adrenals, cortisol, sleep, glucose by Dr. Wilson. I understand he is controversial, so please feel free to remove or relocate if inappropriate.

 

http://www.adrenalfatigue.co.nz/adrenal-fatigue/sleep-disruptions-can-be-adrenal-fatigue/

[alizarin]

Is it a bad idea to take chelated magnesium? I've been taking it for 2 months now, and it's been helpful.

[alex]

Yes, magnesium is good for relaxing.

 

Be patient.Don't panic.

 

Hugs,A.

[alizarin]

Hi,

 

Are there other recommended homeopathic sleep aids like Calms Forte that would be suggested? I take Calms with magnesium at night, but think its effects will subside so it's be wise to have another homeopathic aid to alternate.

 

Thank you.

[ToesInTheSand]

The cortisol mornings seem to be coming back for me. I am waking up early and my stomach feels horribly empty, like I haven't eaten in days. I am nauseated and can't eat. It lasts all day. My appetite is gone. It's like I'm going back to how I felt when I first reinstated. I have found that ativan seems to help my stomach but I am afraid to take it every day because I don't want to get addicted to it. I am unable to go to work (& consequently don't get paid) when I feel like this. I don't know why the mornings are so bad.

[Barbarannamated]

Cortisol is naturally highest in the morning.

 

I am also having exaggerated morning panics and wonder how we know if it is cortisol or adrenaline. My understanding is that adrenals secrete both, with cortisol being first and then adrenaline is cortisol is depleted or adrenals are really struggling. Different methods arecused to calm cortisol than adrenaline according to what I've read.

 

I don't mean to confuse the topic.

[GiaK]

oh, yes...they're here now

 

https://soundcloud.com/monica-cassani

 

scroll down a bit

[Rhiannon]

Does anyone here recall experiencing these dread-mornings before psych meds and/or withdrawal? I don't! Never even had them on meds.

Nope, never had them before withdrawal, didn't have them on the meds either.

[Lilu]

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1852-how-to-reduce-cortisol-both-rx-and-natural/?hl=%2Badrenal+%2Bsupport#entry7586

 

"The following protocol was developed at the author's Recovery Systems Clinic after the publication of the Mood Cure when we began to see some antidepressant detoxers who needed more help for insomnia and agitation than they could get from the nutritional support program listed on the previous pages.

Cortisol is the primary stress-response hormone produced by the adrenal glands. It is highly energizing. In some vulnerable detoxers SSRI withdrawal triggers an abnormal cortisol surge that exacerbates anxiety and insomnia. (This can happen during withdrawal from other drugs as well)."

"The primary stress-response hormone produced by your adrenal glands is called cortisol. It is even more potent in some ways than adrenaline, but at normal levels it is not agitating, rather it is strengthening. It's your wake-up-and-tackle-life's-challenges hormone. Cortisol levels are supposed to be highest in the morning and lowest between about midnight and 4:00AM. If levels are too high, you'll feel wired, tense and hyper-vigilant.

 

Our cortisol levels always rise above the normal level to help us cope with severe stress. This can happen, for example, during a divorce or as a reaction to withdrawal from medications, like benzodiazepines or antidepressants, often causing severe agitation and insomnia. Cortisol levels should return to normal after the stress is relieved, but sometimes chronic stress goes on for so long that the adrenals make a permanent adaptation to a new, hyper level of cortisol production. Eventually, our adrenals can become so exhausted by this constant demand for extreme cortisol production that they are no longer able to produce even moderate levels. Their cortisol output can drop too low throughout the day, especially in the late afternoon. This can be experienced as a sudden crash or a gradually increasing fatigue. But, surprisingly often, 1 - 5 AM cortisol surges persist for years, causing chronic insomnia."

[...]

"Sleep disturbance:
If cortisol levels are too high at night, instead of very low, as they're supposed to be, you'll be kept up too late with a "second wind." Or your cortisol levels could rise too high early in the morning and wake you up prematurely. Or you could wake up between 2:00 and 4:00AM and not be able to get back to sleep easily. Are you a night owl? Testing may show that your cortisol is above normal levels between 10:00PM and midnight when it should be dropping to allow you to get to sleep.

Remedies for mood or sleep problems caused by elevated cortisol:
If you are a night owl, a supplement containing a cortisol-regulating nutrient called phosphorylated serine (brand name Seriphos, this is not the more readily available phosphotidyl serine), taken before dinner (approximately four-six hours before bedtime), should get you to sleep.

If you wake up between 2:00 and 4:00AM take Seriphos at bedtime (by 10:00PM), 4-6 hours before you would typically wake up in the early morning. If you have trouble getting to sleep and you wake up between 2:00 and 4:00AM, take one capsule before dinner and two by 10:00PM. Seriphos encourages your pituitary gland to stop sending the order to your adrenals for more cortisol production. After a month or so, this normalized message should be permanently re-programmed, and you should not need any more Seriphos. Caution: Do not take Seriphos for more than three months total. Take a break for at least 24 hours after each month's use (as per bottle directions).

A second solution: A quicker-acting supplement called hydrolyzed casein or lactium (e.g., De-Stress by Biotics or "Womens Anti Stress Formula" by Swansons) has calming effects on the brain that were originally researched in France. Take 75-150 mg. whenever your cortisol is elevated, day or night. It seems to work best if you are also taking Seriphos.

Remedies for day-time mood disturbances caused by elevated cortisol: The same two supplements may be usede to lower daytime cortisol levels. Take Seriphos (1-3) hours before your test shows abnormally high cortisol elevation. Take a lactium when your test shows that a cortisol elevation is occurring (you actually feel more agitated then)."

[Rhiannon]

Just an FYI, if you're going to try Seriphos or Lactium or really any other supplements, be sure to read through the threads on those first. People get mixed results, some of them get worse. Most typical is that they work for a little while and then start to have the opposite effect or no effect after a while. I've spent way more money than I want to admit on supplements that have ended up finally in the trash. It would have been faster to just throw the cash away directly. :-)

 

To search, go to Google and put in "surviving antidepressants (name of topic or supplement you're searching)" (without using actual parentheses). It works better than the forum search feature.

 

Also, the above quote seems to imply that the cortisol elevation in withdrawal is due to "stress." I'm pretty sure it's due to the actual drugs themselves and how they disrupt our bodies' natural hormonal systems. A very simple Google search shows, for example, that all but one of the meds I'm tapering is known to change your cortisol response when you take it. So when you quit taking it, it's out of whack and has to rebalance itself.

[Barbarannamated]

Just an FYI, if you're going to try Seriphos or Lactium or really any other supplements, be sure to read through the threads on those first. People get mixed results, some of them get worse. Most typical is that they work for a little while and then start to have the opposite effect or no effect after a while. I've spent way more money than I want to admit on supplements that have ended up finally in the trash. It would have been faster to just throw the cash away directly. :-)

 

To search, go to Google and put in "surviving antidepressants (name of topic or supplement you're searching)" (without using actual parentheses). It works better than the forum search feature.

 

Also, the above quote seems to imply that the cortisol elevation in withdrawal is due to "stress." I'm pretty sure it's due to the actual drugs themselves and how they disrupt our bodies' natural hormonal systems. A very simple Google search shows, for example, that all but one of the meds I'm tapering is known to change your cortisol response when you take it. So when you quit taking it, it's out of whack and has to rebalance itself.

This is my fear because all of the (serum) tests I've done show my cortisol to be TOO LOW, even at morning draw (8am). I have been eating ALMOND BUTTER before bed and when i wake at night to even out blood sugar drops which supposedly also cause adrenaline surges/awakenings throughout night. It has helped with the surges, but the dread remains.

 

I am not doing well, in general, but the mornings are still HELL with waking to dread and fear of being alone in future and unable to care for myself and whatever other stressor has recently hit.

 

I apologize... feel like I keep asking the same questions, but I still don't know how to utilize the info in article above if I'm producing too little cortisol (and best way to test).

 

I've had some significant triggers in past week and the stress response feels like I'm in a near-psychotic state that lasts for days. Can't think straight, beg my husband almost daily to take me to (medical) hospital it is so frightening. I have no stress resilience. I feel a visceral terror almost all the time. Does that sound like elevated cortisol?

 

I know my biggest stressor is being idle and isolated and I can't seem to get out of this negative loop.

 

Thank you, Lilu, for an excellent article.

[Cressida]

I woke at 321am last night with the palpitations ( pounding and irregular ) put Claire weekes on headphones wrote a few emails. Must if dropped off woke again at 520am same thing. I dread going to bed. Mornings can be dreadful with really bad panic that goes on. Less of an attack more 100 years war . Generally picks up a bit from lunchtime. Upset stomach gurgling away full of air. Hate it. If not too ridiculous an hour get up make some tea have something to eat . The dread that accompanies these episodes is, well , dreadful. Its comforting to see so many of you describe the exact same thing so thank you for sharing in detail . Next time it happens I ll know am not alone. As someone else said another problem is developing the expectation that it. Will happen. I wake in the night/ morning and think here we go. Need to work on that so not adding in more adrenaline

[ikam]

 

Does anyone here recall experiencing these dread-mornings before psych meds and/or withdrawal? I don't! Never even had them on meds.

 

No, although my mood is often lower when I get up in a morning, it wasn't until I was suffering diazepam withdrawals that I got them.

My heart goes out to anyone who has got them, because they are something I never want again.

 

I have had them after diazepam withdrawals, because, some time at the start of my taper five years ago, I started perimenopause. Cortisol mornings are also a part of perimenopause.

Apparently the symptoms of this and diazepam withdrawals are so similar, it is impossible to taper diazepam as it's impossible to differentiate perimenopause and diazepam withdrawal, so you can never monitor symptoms and time cuts.

Cortisol mornings were one of the symptoms I looked out for when monitoring whether to time cuts.

I don't know where my diazpepam withdrawals ended and where my permenopause symptoms began, but I think that they overlapped to some extent.

My taper took five years because, for the first four years, I was not aware I was  perimenopausal.

Beleiving my symptoms to be diazepam withdrawal related, and still getting cortisol mornings, I tapered at a ridiculously slow rate.

Once I got on hormone replacement pills I was able to differentiate and as a result, the last 1mg was the easiest for me to taper.

Diazepam withdrawals caused worse cortisol mornings for me than perimenopause did/does.

My hormone tablets only partially work. I still get hot flushes and bad anxiety/moods, but nothing like the early stages of my taper, and thankfully, the cortisol mornings have improved, although not totally.

Intersting, I am menopausal, I have been on a very low dose of HRT, which was enough to manage my night sweats. Now, I am back with them due to WD. I was wondering that if I increased HRT it would help with sweating. I never had hot flushes during the day before. But now I just soak completely, even my hair gets wet. I think it is a combination of WD and menopause...

[ikam]

 

I think I have cortisol mornings, too. Is the dread I experience upon awakening considered part of a cortisol morning? I must say it's the most horrible, horrible feeling. Words don't do it justice, but it seems a lot of posters here are talking about the same thing.

 

In the past, before my psych med troubles, I'd experience low moods and sadness and lethargy and various symptoms of "depression." But nothing I experienced before comes close to this black dread. It's cosmic in scope. From the moment my eyes open I simply wish to cease existing, but it's not something I would call a suicidal urge. It's more hopeless than that.

The only relief is if by some miracle I can fall asleep again, but that's almost never.

 

 

I liked the way you wrote that, but sorry to hear you are having this experience.

 

Even if you do go back to sleep, you wake up feeling worse.

I take trazodone, and when I was getting really bad cortisol mornings, at the start of my diazepam taper, I would jerk awake up at stupid oclock, very early in the morning, on red alert, feeling this great sense of doom.

I'd take a trazodone, and start to relax and drift back off to sleep, but would wake after some time, feeling worse.

I am terrible at getting up, so when I wake, I lie there dozing, and with cortisol mornings, I used to find that bad thoughts would swoop down and send me into panic mode, with racing heart and a stomach that think's it's going downhill on a roller-coaster.

Sudden worries would rise up from nowhere, worries about my home about my money, etc.

I would be like this all day, so anxious that I did some stupid things because of that anxiety.

I would be gripped by terror until late at night till the small hours and only then would I feel the anxiety begin to lift. I would then go to bed, much calmer and reassured, but would emerge out of the bedroom, next day, a totally different person, fuelled by excess cortisol.

Oh, this is exactly how I feel. And despite of knowing that staying in bed will only increase severith of anxiety, I still stay in bed! Then in evening I make type of resolution that I will get up when I feel it and I do the same in the morning.

 

It is like a mistery for me- why I done follow my wise mind in the morning and let the emotions to overhelm me to the state of panic?!

 

I wonder what strategies people have developed?

[ikam]

* post moved from 'burning feet' topic

 

I think it will also help me to rephrase my response...instead of thinking I have panic attack I can try to reasure myself that it is "just" cortisol morning...
I still wonder how to motivate myself to acting differently, instead of trying to sleep longer, get up and do something...but what?
How do other people cope with it? Recognition seems the first step. What next? What do you do?

Edited January 3, 2015 by Petu
added note

[Cressida]

* post moved from 'burning feet' topic

 

Am afraid am rubbish at dealing with them if am alone in the house. My H leaves early in the morning when its at its worst. I ve made frantic phone calls to good friends at my worst when I ve been off my head with screaming anxiety in acute and they ve raced round. I ve been too frightened to get in the shower. Its not that bad currently. So I tell myself it will be better by lunch time and I get through hour by hour. Get up get ready tidy up watch TV . I wish I could tell you I ve got it sorted but the truth is I haven't . It depends how bad it is. Haven't had much luck convincing myself I won't die when its very bad. Its not as bad as that currently. Hopefully stronger people than I can help with advice. I m interested too

Edited January 3, 2015 by Petu
added note

[westcoast]

I do not know why we can't follow our wise minds. The part of my my mind that is verbal and logical has no investment in the black mornings. I can;t see where they come from, logically. But the part of my mind that just experiences and reacts to thoughts and events is out of control.

I have a hunch that those of us with black mornings are not getting the kind of sleep that lets the brain regenerate new neurotransmitters for the day. I THINK sleep allows the brain to do certain kinds of work on itself, but ours might not being doing it at all. So instead of waking up refreshed, we wake up more depleted than we are at night.

I know that feeling of dread that comes with going to bed. Yup, here we go again, and how bad will it be?

I have resorted on many occasions to drinking a beer or two at 6am, smoking some medical-legal marijuana, and getting another hour or two of sleep. The second awakening is still bad, but not nearly horrendous as the first one. I do not recommend this by the way. Drinking in the morning is a road to ruin. But I have no access to anything else that will shut down the icy-hot head pain and the cosmic despair.

Is this an identified syndrome with a name? There is something called night terrors. This would be morning horrors.

 

[westcoast]

Well, I just searched the net for "morning terrors" and found this ptsd sufferer's story. Of course the poor guy is on benzos and "other meds," bless his soul. Are his symptoms those of ptsd, or of his meds?

Is it okay to post a link like this in this thread?

https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/morning-terrors.24744/

[westcoast]

Yup. It's a thing. This person was on Effexor and is now on new drugs. Isn;t it amazing that so many people are suffering this hideous condition, and it has no name and no treatment (that I know of)?

 

http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20050516/msgs/499226.html

In the link, the person says:
I'm looking for any insight as to what is happening to me. My pdoc shakes his head. He doesn't know. The endocrinologist doesn't know. My therapist doesn't know. My husband doesn't know. I'm caught in an unbearable situation that doesn't have a solution.

WHY???

There are many replies which I'm going to read now...

[Petunia]

I've also been getting 'morning terrors' for several years now. 

 

 As someone else said another problem is developing the expectation that it. Will happen. I wake in the night/ morning and think here we go. Need to work on that so not adding in more adrenaline

 

For me, its not a matter of waking up and then the surge of adreneline, or whatever starts, its the rise in chemical which triggers a fight/flight response in my sleep that actually wakes me up, then the thoughts start in response to the physical stuff, or maybe the racing thoughts are part of it, I don't know.  But there's no way I couldn't have an expectation of it happening because its happened every morning for the last 3 years or so, its just a matter of degree and what time it happens.

 

The intensity of it has slowly been decreasing, these days I can sometimes even manage to go back to sleep, especially if I take some magnesium and taurine if I wake up  around 1:30am, which I often do.

 

But once the sun starts coming up, there's no hope... and I don't think its got anything to do with light because my windows are covered and I use a sleep mask.  Its like as if my brain can feel the energy of the sun in some other way.

 

Sometimes what happens is that the terror will penetrate my early morning dreams and turn them into nightmares, then suddenly I'm awake with the dread following me into the waking state.  Other times I find myself in a torturous half sleep/half wake state with weird, frightening images, thoughts and phrases rushing through my mind.

 

A year ago, two years ago, it was much worse and I would be pinned to my bed in terror for hours every morning, waiting for it to subside enough for me to move and try and find some distraction.  But when it was at its worse, nothing would work, the fear response was too strong and nothing would be able to distract me, I wasn't able to focus on anything. 

 

Now, on a good day, it peaks around 7 -8 am and has gone by just after lunch time.  On a bad day it hangs around until 8-9pm.  It gets intense again when I'm in a wave, but generally these days its more bearable.  I'm no longer frozen in terror for hours, and actually manage to get up, get something to drink and can log on here and read posts.

 

For a couple of weeks I tried eating small snacks through the night to keep my blood sugar levels stable, it sort of helped for a while, but then stopped working.

 

I like the description in the Dr. Bob link westcoast posted above, that's what its been like for me.

[Cressida]

Petu am so so sorry to hear that . Unfortunately it has been exactly my experience too but on a shorter time frame. And I agree its unimaginable torture if you haven't experienced it . Sadly I have.

Last night I didn't wake up and am less anxious this morning.

I have learned my brain has somehow been super sensitised, less concerned with the how than the how to fix it.

Am sure you already know this but I have identified my triggers and am avoiding those and not risking adding anything else into the mix .

My triggers are alcohol , sugar in any form including fruit ( have upped my veg intake to compensate ) caffeine ....... Which has a negative effect different to the sugar/alcohol

I can't tell you how much I feel for you and the pain you have experienced

[Petunia]

My triggers are alcohol , sugar in any form including fruit ( have upped my veg intake to compensate ) caffeine .......

 

Thanks for mentioning this, I don't use alcohol or caffeine at all, and have cut sugar right down, but I do have a little.  This morning I woke up at 3:30 with adrenaline rushes and even with mag, taurine and a small protein snack, I couldn't calm down and get back to sleep.  I was wondering why.  Your post reminded me that I had eaten more sugar than usual last night, I also had one small piece of sugar free chocolate, that probably didn't help either.  Might try cutting the sugar out completely.

 

I'm happy you're having a better morning Cressida, perhaps you're starting to turn a corner now.

[Cressida]

Thanks Petu. Did wake up twice last night with small number of palps and quite anxious at wake up this morning but probably 20% or less if what it was at its worst. A small amount if sugar can cause me weeks of problems I think if I persisted in eating it I d be trapped in a vicious circle that could go on forever

[ikam]

What always surprises me that I somehow cannot use any skills to stop it...i try to accept this...

[Cressida]

I agree.cwhen you are in that state the "evil" takes over your mind and you cannot think straight to use coping skills