The only thing that worked - Jesus

[ReturningToHope]

To anyone who reads this,

If you're feeling desperate or at your breaking point please read this and have an open mind because I know I was on the verge of giving up and this saved my life. 

 

I grew up believing in new age spirituality because my mother was involved in it and in general I thought Christians were narrow minded hypocrites.. and many are.. but those aren't real Christians at all. 

I thought Jesus had just been an incredible 'teacher'. I'd never read the Bible and thought it was dogmatic and flawed because it had been written by men. 

.. if it hadn't been for antidepressant drug withdrawal that broke me to a point I emotionally and physically couldn't bear I would probably still believe this.

But I count this nightmare we've all had to endure as a gift now because it made me desperate enough to say "God if you're real, show me somehow.. show me what the Truth is.." practically with my face touching the floor. I'm not even sure where those words came from exactly but over the next week or so I came to the most profound understanding (I was lead to one thing after another) that this Bible I'd written off my whole life and this man whose name I heard a million times and I used as a casual swear word was actually who He said He was.... and I am the least likely human being to ever come to that conclusion and believe me I didn't even want to. But once I did and asked for forgiveness and for Jesus to come into my heart I have had a level of strength I have improved enough and gained a huge amount of endurance to handle this.

you have nothing to lose by getting humble like I did and calling out to him and asking to be shown.. the worst that can happen is nothing. But I promise you He answers 

[ChessieCat]

Here is the link to ReturningToHope's intro topic:  

 

[Idlehnds]

Great post! I love Jesus too.  I believe he is real and is amazing.  I pray to god everynight and I imagine him on my side praying with me along with Paramahansa Yogananda, and Baba Neem Karoli.  I use to feel like everytime I would go to church I would always find the negatives with it.  Why it is wrong and what I do and dont believe.  Now I just find the love and beautiful side of it all.  Its all a learning experience and I think when people let Jesus into there hearts (not the church dogma but the love he endures) alot of people can find true peace.  When I have been focused on God and my spiritual journey I have been my happiest.  Not sure how sometimes I get dragged back into the nonsense.

 

My whole problem was health anxiety that lead me into my mess and I think maybe and I was fearful of death or anything going wrong with me.  Once you know in your heart that our body only dies and not the true "self" it brings alot of comfort and sometimes I get excited to think what will come on the other side.  We are all here for a reason, some say to progress our soul and to learn, some say to love, but whatever the reason is WE are MORE then depression or anxiety.  We are growing and learning for something bigger and better then anything we can possibly imagine.

[freespirit123]

On 4/8/2018 at 1:35 AM, ReturningToHope said:

To anyone who reads this,

If you're feeling desperate or at your breaking point please read this and have an open mind because I know I was on the verge of giving up and this saved my life. 

 

I grew up believing in new age spirituality because my mother was involved in it and in general I thought Christians were narrow minded hypocrites.. and many are.. but those aren't real Christians at all. 

I thought Jesus had just been an incredible 'teacher'. I'd never read the Bible and thought it was dogmatic and flawed because it had been written by men. 

.. if it hadn't been for antidepressant drug withdrawal that broke me to a point I emotionally and physically couldn't bear I would probably still believe this.

But I count this nightmare we've all had to endure as a gift now because it made me desperate enough to say "God if you're real, show me somehow.. show me what the Truth is.." practically with my face touching the floor. I'm not even sure where those words came from exactly but over the next week or so I came to the most profound understanding (I was lead to one thing after another) that this Bible I'd written off my whole life and this man whose name I heard a million times and I used as a casual swear word was actually who He said He was.... and I am the least likely human being to ever come to that conclusion and believe me I didn't even want to. But once I did and asked for forgiveness and for Jesus to come into my heart I have had a level of strength I have improved enough and gained a huge amount of endurance to handle this.

you have nothing to lose by getting humble like I did and calling out to him and asking to be shown.. the worst that can happen is nothing. But I promise you He answers 

Thank you for this wonderful post. I’m struggling more than ever! I can’t seem to get my head right after ADs and maybe this is just how I live after ADs? I was on for 2.5 yrs and stopped a few months ago and I’m literally at my lowest point right now. I don’t know what to do and I’m thinking maybe I should get back on Celexa bc at least I was happier. I mean are they sooo bad? 

[MRothbard]

wondering the same thing.

[TreeElf]

Hey, I'm happy you've been able to open your heart in the depths of suffering. I've been there a few times this year, literally on my knees begging to be saved. I was never religious at all, and only felt an urge to connect spiritually after years of mental suffering. At that time it was mostly through Buddhism. Since the withdrawal episodes, Jesus has come into my mind a lot more, which was surprising at first. Now in the throws of w/d I often call upon him, Buddha, Neem Karoli Baba (as @Idlehnds mentioned too!), archangel Michael, or sometimes Source itself. It's interesting how your guru can appear in different forms in different powerful experiences. Thank you for sharing x

[getofflex]

On 4/8/2018 at 1:35 AM, ReturningToHope said:

I'm not even sure where those words came from exactly but over the next week or so I came to the most profound understanding (I was lead to one thing after another) that this Bible I'd written off my whole life and this man whose name I heard a million times and I used as a casual swear word was actually who He said He was.... and I am the least likely human being to ever come to that conclusion and believe me I didn't even want to. But once I did and asked for forgiveness and for Jesus to come into my heart I have had a level of strength I have improved enough and gained a huge amount of endurance to handle this.

 

I totally am on the same page with you, ReturningToHope.  I believe in Jesus, that he came to this earth, lived the perfect sinless life, and died a horrific death on a cross to pay the punishment for our sins, then rose again to life in 3 days, and is now in heaven.  He has given me the strength to get through this very tough withdrawal from these horrible drugs.  I believe that someday I'll have a wonderful life in heaven that will make up for all the suffering we go through with this process.  Praying and reading the Bible really helps me cope.  I feel His love, peace and joy, and that gives me the ability to endure.