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Gerg

Gerg: No longer bipolar. I'm free l'm free!!

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Gerg

After 48 yrs of slavery to the great and seemingly immortal god, zoloft and its minions I have been given the unsuspected privilege of saying goodbye to my bipolar illness.

You don't have an understanding of what that means. 


After 48 years of illness.🤤 Diagnosed for 34 years as bipolar of which i was on zoloft for 23 years. 300mg for the past 5 years.😲 I stoped zoloft mid  December 2017 tapering 25mg per week.🤒 Stopped completely 4 months later mid April 2018. A good decision but not without its problems. Incessant itching all over my body also patches of welps on my trunk and upper legs. After a trial of various kinds, soaking my body in all kinds of substances, ended up using goat milk soap and PawPaw soap which helps a lot. Eventually my body will forgive me for my excess use of of a drug. The only questions left remaining are 👀will i deal with my future stressors effectively and appropriately, has my 48 years of negative and positive experiances been a help or are there still underlying problems the the "god zoloft"🙏 only covered over since my youth, the comming years will reveal all.

My quote: "you must learn to laugh at yourself then you are a survivor."😉👑

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Gerg

Here i am 67yrs old and off Zoloft. This i have been taking the past 23 years.

I never thought it would happen, can you realy be bipolar then for some reason you are nolongerbipolar. Apparently so. 13+ different meds some twice, 48 years of strange blurry confused up and down dissoriented surreal extremes trying but rarley getting my work right.

Providing for my family from one error to the next, trying but not good enough then trying again. Never giving up except for a dozen or so extreems, that only make the next effort perplexing and unyeilding. My best is not good enough this was my constant companion. For unfortunately this was the truth. I have to be honest I NEVER gave up. I was determined to be a success and looked for ways that made this possible, cognitive, thinking, veiwpoint, the way i wanted to live as a success, my peer influences, how fear was a debilitating but real mental obstacle, personality flaws (for we accumilate many due to our distorted history for you can only get out of the fridge what you put in) the influence of the errors of others thinking that we have to try to weed out (if we have a stable ellement that is solid and trustworthy so as to do so friends family church group or peers).

I think this is enough for now for there is so much that is involved in the question of being a success when it comes to being of your meds permanently. This along with emotional mental and spirituall stability, this is the goal to attain.

As I will now say from myself as one "Nolongerbipolar".


After 48 years of illness.🤤 Diagnosed for 34 years as bipolar of which i was on zoloft for 23 years. 300mg for the past 5 years.😲 I stoped zoloft mid  December 2017 tapering 25mg per week.🤒 Stopped completely 4 months later mid April 2018. A good decision but not without its problems. Incessant itching all over my body also patches of welps on my trunk and upper legs. After a trial of various kinds, soaking my body in all kinds of substances, ended up using goat milk soap and PawPaw soap which helps a lot. Eventually my body will forgive me for my excess use of of a drug. The only questions left remaining are 👀will i deal with my future stressors effectively and appropriately, has my 48 years of negative and positive experiances been a help or are there still underlying problems the the "god zoloft"🙏 only covered over since my youth, the comming years will reveal all.

My quote: "you must learn to laugh at yourself then you are a survivor."😉👑

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Altostrata

Welcome, Gerg.

 

How did you go off Zoloft? When did you take your last dose?

 

How are you feeling now?


This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Gerg

To altosrtata.

Took my last med 12 days ago.

While I am not perfect in thought and feelings, I am well.

I am better than I have been at any time on my meds. 

I am not high or low, but as I realize it takes a little time to cease experiencing the feelings that come with long term drug habits.

I won't jump up and down in excitement as yet. I have given myself until the end of April to make an 2nd assessment of how i am going then before I commit to the thought that I am actually nolongerbipolar. I will do this at the end of May.

This will give me 4 and a half months from the start of my reduction of 300mg.

As it stands I am quietly confident I am nolongerbipolar.

I have a personal adage to share.

"It is possible to believe everything, listen to everyone, learn as much as you can, so be shrewd don't be gullible."

Greg.

 

An update 20th May 2018

I have been off Zoloft for 5 months.

While I have experienced a bad depression a day here and there it only lasted for that day. When I was able to look at the cause of my wipeout I was able to get up and carry on OK.

So with a not so over the top attitude I can say I am nolongerbipolar at this point in my life.

This is no to say I have gotten away from problems associated with the 300mg of Zoloft I was on this past 4 years and the rest of my 20 odd years on other amounts of Zoloft.

This past month have been to say the least, extremely difficult. 

From what i can tell my body is now telling me, garbage Zoloft was a bad idea. I am plagued with extremes of itchiness and welps all over. I can only explained the discomfort and distressing thoughts that come with going off Zoloft.

The whelps are like a raised blisters that are in patches and in bands around my stomach and groin area of my body also along the top of my arms and under the top of my arms and legs. The welps are not oozing or have pus they are just itchy. Then there is the itchiness that has no visible signs. This is amazing both my wrists have a severe unyielding, itch at the same time sores are starting to form due to my incessant scratching. Under my feet the palms of my hands my back, scalp and the out side of my arms all are especially bad at night. I can not sleep well, when I do I do so  only on any plain cotton sheets. My doctors don't have an answer to all this itching. I have stopped using ordinary soap and soap powder for cloths, I now bathed in milk, or baking powder,  lavender, vinegar, pomegranate juice, coconut oil, oatmeal etc, with limited success. So this is my lot. This is also a pain to my wife though she is understanding and supportive.

But in all of this I know eventually my body will me forgive me in my taking this life altering mind bending zoloft, I am determined not to go back on to  those ugly ugly tablets again.

This is my latest post still nolongerbipolar

gerg

 


After 48 years of illness.🤤 Diagnosed for 34 years as bipolar of which i was on zoloft for 23 years. 300mg for the past 5 years.😲 I stoped zoloft mid  December 2017 tapering 25mg per week.🤒 Stopped completely 4 months later mid April 2018. A good decision but not without its problems. Incessant itching all over my body also patches of welps on my trunk and upper legs. After a trial of various kinds, soaking my body in all kinds of substances, ended up using goat milk soap and PawPaw soap which helps a lot. Eventually my body will forgive me for my excess use of of a drug. The only questions left remaining are 👀will i deal with my future stressors effectively and appropriately, has my 48 years of negative and positive experiances been a help or are there still underlying problems the the "god zoloft"🙏 only covered over since my youth, the comming years will reveal all.

My quote: "you must learn to laugh at yourself then you are a survivor."😉👑

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Altostrata

Personally, I'm allergic to lavender oil so I would stop using that.

 

That itching sounds terrible. Also, if you're scratching it, it might get infected.

 

I know you don't want to do this, but 1mg Zoloft might reduce the itching. You can taper off it by tiny bits later. This topic explains how to take a small amount of Zoloft Tips for tapering off Zoloft (sertraline)

 

This is only to stop withdrawal symptoms, not to treat "bipolar."

 

To help us out, see these instructions Please put your drug and withdrawal history in your signature


This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Gerg

I understand the purpose of food. Food is a nourishment for your body so it fills an important physiological life sustaining function.

When on Zoloft for 23 years I came to see this also as I saw food , as a life sustaining means to stay healthy.

As it is now, apparently this may not be the case.

There are many types of natural foods available that have gone through man made structural changes. There is cross breeding of plant varieties, cross pollination, processed foods, genetically modified food as used and developed in the so-called "green revolution", genetically altered (manipulated) food etc. I do not judge these efforts as good or bad. Along this line of reasoning I came to see man made drugs as a food. The drug would serve as a means by which the body would use the drug as a means of sustenance. Is this true or is the development of various drugs no matter their source not the same as food so as to sustain a healthy life. I mean "Zoe, life as a person" not life style. (Zoe) Our life deserves the respect we have for ourselves as we live and breath. Producers of Drugs do not seem to share this end result as a goal, they seem to out of need and or for profit to manipulate or camouflage, the true state of a drug so the end result is confused, distorted and life distressing. Their desire is to help but the result is pain. Can anyone explain to me if a drug is that harmful. When a person goes on them or off them where is the benefit. Why do drug companies bring on the market inadequately tested, harmful products that eventually make life even more difficult.

Is life that cheap.

gerg


After 48 years of illness.🤤 Diagnosed for 34 years as bipolar of which i was on zoloft for 23 years. 300mg for the past 5 years.😲 I stoped zoloft mid  December 2017 tapering 25mg per week.🤒 Stopped completely 4 months later mid April 2018. A good decision but not without its problems. Incessant itching all over my body also patches of welps on my trunk and upper legs. After a trial of various kinds, soaking my body in all kinds of substances, ended up using goat milk soap and PawPaw soap which helps a lot. Eventually my body will forgive me for my excess use of of a drug. The only questions left remaining are 👀will i deal with my future stressors effectively and appropriately, has my 48 years of negative and positive experiances been a help or are there still underlying problems the the "god zoloft"🙏 only covered over since my youth, the comming years will reveal all.

My quote: "you must learn to laugh at yourself then you are a survivor."😉👑

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manymoretodays

Hi Gerg,

I just moved your post ^  back here to your introduction/journal.  Interesting topic for discussion.......best left here for now.  Later you could post it perhaps in "Off Topic" ?

....

Awaiting your signature as well.

 

Love, peace, healing/inrecovery, and growth,

mmt.

Edited by Altostrata
removed confusing info

Started with psycho meds circa 1988 I think 27 or 28 total.

AD's, antpsychotics, antiseizure mood stabilizers. Lithium, lamictal ,benzos, and stimulants. Some med. for narcolepsy once(Provigil,) Gabapentin........probably more.  Ask me?......I probably was on it.  Haphazard W/D's by Dr. recommend or uneducated self.

10/2014- off Lexapro--had been on highest dose 10 mg. then 5 mg. for a couple of years, went from 5 mg. to 3 mg. liquid and then CT in hospital(voluntary).  I got out of the hospital on a combination of low dose adderal salts x1/day and trileptal 150mg. x2/day.

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!

 

3/21/2016---I did some unwise updosing of trileptal/oxcarbazepine with some stressful stuff......doubled the above dose x2 during this last wave but began liquifying again and on approximately 68mg. starting today.  11/12//2016 24 mg. oxcarbazepine  12/9/2016 off oxcarbazepine/trileptal!!!! :) optimistic  2016 December 9- completely off all medications!!!!!

Omega3's,EPA +DHA= 1800 mg/day. Magnesium complex, orally, diluted in a liter of H2O(that I can shake up.....it usually dissolves more completely as the water gets down to room temperature) and/or Epsom salt baths prn.   Vit. C, D3, and E.  B12, melatonin tapered to 1mg., and bioidentical hormones sublingually.  Trace mineral drops.  L-lysine.  L-methylfolate=400 mcg plus daily spinach. Totally ready for a good long window to hit soon and getting better strings of full days and partial days along the way.  Definite improvement overall since I first arrived on the SA survivor ship.  Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider. manymoretodays

 

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Petunia
On 5/20/2018 at 10:05 PM, Gerg said:

I am plagued with extremes of itchiness and welps all over. I can only explained the discomfort and distressing thoughts that come with going off Zoloft.

The whelps are like a raised blisters that are in patches and in bands around my stomach and groin area of my body also along the top of my arms and under the top of my arms and legs. The welps are not oozing or have pus they are just itchy. Then there is the itchiness that has no visible signs. This is amazing both my wrists have a severe unyielding, itch at the same time sores are starting to form due to my incessant scratching. Under my feet the palms of my hands my back, scalp and the out side of my arms all are especially bad at night. I can not sleep well, when I do I do so  only on any plain cotton sheets. My doctors don't have an answer to all this itching.

 

Yes, some members have reported this after coming off antidepressants. One theory is that its a rebound histamine effect. Antidepressants have an anti-histamine like action and so after coming off them, there might be an increased sensitivity to histamine levels, which could manifest in different ways, hives and itching being one of them.

 

See our related topic here: 

Skin issues: hives, acne, dryness, itching etc. - Symptoms and self ...


I'm not a doctor.  My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one.

My Introduction Thread

Full Drug and Withdrawal History

Brief Summary

Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects

2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010

Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal

DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms

Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal)

May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins.

Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes

Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine

Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D

June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens.

Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered

Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days.

April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close.

VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from?



VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made?



VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes?



VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects?

VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes

 

 

 

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Gerg

To Petunia

Personally this reaction to my  "wd" seems more akin to a reaction due to my body defences coming to my help.

But on the basis of the many not too dissimilar reactions that other members have written in their threads, i can see and am willing to yeild to the evidence that it can be as you say. As i stand at the moment what i listed on my thread as to the itchy reactions i was having these have for the most part gone. My last zoloft was 9th May. My whole body itchy discomfort lasted approx 3 weeks. I had a break from the discomfort for two weeks after which only my back and chest being itchy. The only things i have held onto as to helps are, no more of drinking bitters, i use paw paw soap, oil my self with coconut oil on my itchy areas and sleep on cotton sheets. In this way i can if necessary live with this withdrawl . Aside from this it does seem my body is coming back to norrmal balance and expect to be withdrawl free within a short time. As for my resilience mentally, it is a struggle but i think it is a normal struggle within the bounds of normal ups and downs. As i look at my peers and see their lives move forward we all seem to be in the same boat contending with the same calms and the upheavals and the storms of life, so in this context i think I am running well, i can now without fear or regret leave the bipolar behind and be productive without my 23 years of zolof. For in this i  am happy chappy. I am now following up on my need to educate myself on areas of life that have passed me by these past 48 years of my 67 years of life.

Unfortunately and yet at the same time fortunately i say this, for the time is now reduced. I have allways had a yearning to examine and look at where our thoughts and emotions come from and why do we reach the conclusions we do that shape our thinking. Can we in honesty change how we veiw our past, in other words can we rewrite the story of our life so we can benifit from our experiances no matter how hard or how bad they were as to put the baggage of our life behind us and not infront of us as we move to the next step in our journey so as to be more  productive and happy. It is out there for i have seen some of it and i am willing to do the homework, so here i go.


After 48 years of illness.🤤 Diagnosed for 34 years as bipolar of which i was on zoloft for 23 years. 300mg for the past 5 years.😲 I stoped zoloft mid  December 2017 tapering 25mg per week.🤒 Stopped completely 4 months later mid April 2018. A good decision but not without its problems. Incessant itching all over my body also patches of welps on my trunk and upper legs. After a trial of various kinds, soaking my body in all kinds of substances, ended up using goat milk soap and PawPaw soap which helps a lot. Eventually my body will forgive me for my excess use of of a drug. The only questions left remaining are 👀will i deal with my future stressors effectively and appropriately, has my 48 years of negative and positive experiances been a help or are there still underlying problems the the "god zoloft"🙏 only covered over since my youth, the comming years will reveal all.

My quote: "you must learn to laugh at yourself then you are a survivor."😉👑

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arwilliams

Interestingly Zoloft is not FDA approved for bipolar so I wonder if the doctor was prescribing it off label or alternatively you have different regulations in Australia.  


My Intro FB  Zyprexa 2015-September 2018

Risperdal September 2018-November 2018

1st time I tried to come straight off of 10mg Zyprexa I was hospitalized for insane insomnia.

Current - Lithium 900mg & Latuda 40mg.

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Gerg

There we go.


After 48 years of illness.🤤 Diagnosed for 34 years as bipolar of which i was on zoloft for 23 years. 300mg for the past 5 years.😲 I stoped zoloft mid  December 2017 tapering 25mg per week.🤒 Stopped completely 4 months later mid April 2018. A good decision but not without its problems. Incessant itching all over my body also patches of welps on my trunk and upper legs. After a trial of various kinds, soaking my body in all kinds of substances, ended up using goat milk soap and PawPaw soap which helps a lot. Eventually my body will forgive me for my excess use of of a drug. The only questions left remaining are 👀will i deal with my future stressors effectively and appropriately, has my 48 years of negative and positive experiances been a help or are there still underlying problems the the "god zoloft"🙏 only covered over since my youth, the comming years will reveal all.

My quote: "you must learn to laugh at yourself then you are a survivor."😉👑

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JanCarol
On 5/22/2018 at 7:03 PM, Gerg said:

Is life that cheap.

 

Hey Gerg - 

 

What is the bottom line of a life?  Can it increase share price or market value?   Does it increase percentage of total market?  How much money can we earn before it goes out of patent?  These are the decisions made at the pharmaceutical companies.  Not - "will it actually help?" or "how much harm will it do?"  

 

The medical model needs serious adjustment.

 

I agree with Alto that a tiny reinstatement of Zoloft - just 1 mg - might help.  Considering that you were on 300 mg, 1 mg is tiny tiny.  It's not enough to mess with your head, but might be just enough to calm your body down.

 

17 hours ago, arwilliams said:

Zoloft is not FDA approved for bipolar

 

We don't use the FDA in Australia, we use the TGA (Therapeutic Goods Administration) and the MIMS (Monthly Index of Medical Specialties).  There is also the PBS (Pharmaceutical Benefits Scheme), which means - "for this condition, the government will subsidise this drug".  Additionally doctors tend to prescribe their favourite drugs, and Zoloft has a reputation for "anti anxiety" qualities, more than the other SSRI's.  There is a lot of off-label prescribing.  As you may not know, "bipolar" is kind of a junk diagnosis (diagnonsense) , with all kinds of people landing in the cubbyhole when they no longer fit the "depression" model (often "bipolar" is induced by drug effects), or a pure "anxiety" model.  But depression and anxiety go hand in hand - and sometimes that, too, gets thrown into the diagnonsense bin of "bipolar." 

Here's the other thing, Gerg, you are realising that you are no longer bipolar - well - maybe you never were?  Maybe it was situations, trauma, stressors, drugs, and even diet which drove you to get diagnosed.  Those who are "true manic depressive" are extremely rare, and the condition is life long and episodic (in a long term fashion, with years or even decades between episodes).  I, too, undiagnosed myself.  I was terrified about coming off the lithium - and thought for sure I'd go stark raving mad at some point.  But I haven't.  Those things which they called "bipolar" were likely withdrawals from the various drugs that they tried on my depression (which was caused by life traumas and suffering marriage).

 

We've had other people who went into major histamine - itchy skin - reactions while coming off their antidepressants.  You might also consider a low histamine diet:

Histamine food intolerance 

 

https://www.histaminintoleranz.ch/downloads/SIGHI-Leaflet_HistamineEliminationDiet.pdf

 

https://healinghistamine.com/histamine-in-foods-list/

 

Here's an Aussie histamine diet book for purchase (warning, this one is the strictest of the diets represented here):  https://www.slhd.nsw.gov.au/rpa/allergy/resources/foodintol/handbook.html  

 

And here's a list of low-oxalate foods (oxalate can also cause inflammation)
 

https://healinghistamine.com/low-oxalate-low-histamine-diet-the-missing-link/

 

Of course, my main go-tos are, if you are still eating wheat and dairy, those should probably go first, as they are (especially in our industrial world) the most common inflammatory foods, and we frequently eat so much of them.

 

21 hours ago, Gerg said:

Can we in honesty change how we veiw our past, in other words can we rewrite the story of our life so we can benifit from our experiances no matter how hard or how bad they were as to put the baggage of our life behind us and not infront of us as we move to the next step in our journey so as to be more  productive and happy. I

 

Yes!  In retrospect, we have the benefit of 20/20 hindsight.  We might see where we zigged when we could have zagged.  We see the decisions we've made that led us to where we are today.  We can see the consequences of events like trauma, bullying, stress, and other situations.

 

Then - once we've learned from it - the hard part - is letting it go.  You are who you are now, because of all of these things, and it is possible to come to a place of gratitude and say, "Even though I spent decades in the psych model, I am who I am now, and I'm grateful for that."

 

What gives me the most Grace now, I would never have believed at the beginning of this journey.  If you'd told me that a flutter of wings across the sky as a flock of birds fly over would bring me an uplift of joy, I would've laughed in your face.  If you'd told me that, even when it's hard, to walk around the block in the sunshine would save my life every day - I would've mocked you and said, "My condition is SERIOUS!  I NEED these drugs!"  


But now, on the other side - the fight of birds is true.  The walk around the block is amazing.  The little things bring me Grace and Gratitude.  And all of those dramas that made me who I am today?  Well, I can learn to be grateful for them, too - they give me depth and character.

 

You live in a beautiful place, too.  I hope you can find the Grace and Gratitude in these small moments.


"Easy, easy - just go easy and you'll finish." - Hawaiian Kapuna

 

Holding is hard work, holding is a blessing. Give your brain time to heal before you try again.

 

My suggestions are not medical advice, you are in charge of your own medical choices.

 

A lifetime of being prescribed antidepressants that caused problems (30 years in total). At age 35 flipped to "bipolar," but was not diagnosed for 5 years. Started my journey in Midwest United States. Crossed the Pacific for love and hope; currently living in Australia.   CT Seroquel 25 mg some time in 2013.   Tapered Reboxetine 4 mg Oct 2013 to Sept 2014 = GONE (3 years on Reboxetine).     Tapered Lithium 900 to 475 MG (alternating with the SNRI) Jan 2014 - Nov 2014, tapered Lithium 475 mg Jan 2015 -  Feb 2016 = GONE (10 years  on Lithium).  Many mistakes in dry cutting dosages were made.


The tedious thread (my intro):  JanCarol ☼ Reboxetine first, then Lithium

The happy thread (my success story):  JanCarol - Undiagnosed  Off all bipolar drugs

My own blog:  https://shamanexplorations.com/shamans-blog/

 

 

I have been psych drug FREE since 1 Feb 2016!

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Gerg

There we go

To Jancarol

I agree to this and am well aware this to be true. For this was not me.

Your quote. ,"Those who are "true manic depressive" are extremely rare, and the condition is life long and episodic (in a longterm fashion, with years or even decades between episodes). "

I do not assume to know. This kind of knowledge concerning the distortions of life we are involved with is self evident eve if not apparent to many.

It is good you see yourself apart from these distortions, it is rare gift. You made other valid observations even if some are unproven to myself doesn't make them wrong. I understand the quicksand we are standing on for you are you and I am me, then away we fly gone in an instant of time. We gain insight learn accumulate knowledge and try to make sense of what we have been given. Yes we can move on if we let ourselves. I have given my self permission to do just that. 300 mg of Zoloft is too much and 48 years is a lot to be bound to a crippling distorted way of thinking. But I am a survivor and I know how and why I survived. This is not the beginning the middle or the end of who I am. For I survived with insight knowledge understanding and discernment.  I know what you are saying. I know what you are suggesting and I am thankful that I can see the difference. This is my legacy, ,"but it is mine." Continue with yours.




After 48 years of illness.🤤 Diagnosed for 34 years as bipolar of which i was on zoloft for 23 years. 300mg for the past 5 years.😲 I stoped zoloft mid  December 2017 tapering 25mg per week.🤒 Stopped completely 4 months later mid April 2018. A good decision but not without its problems. Incessant itching all over my body also patches of welps on my trunk and upper legs. After a trial of various kinds, soaking my body in all kinds of substances, ended up using goat milk soap and PawPaw soap which helps a lot. Eventually my body will forgive me for my excess use of of a drug. The only questions left remaining are 👀will i deal with my future stressors effectively and appropriately, has my 48 years of negative and positive experiances been a help or are there still underlying problems the the "god zoloft"🙏 only covered over since my youth, the comming years will reveal all.

My quote: "you must learn to laugh at yourself then you are a survivor."😉👑

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Gerg

I to airwilliams

You have more knowledge in this are of medications and withdrawl than i do. I do not hope to come near to the understanding or the scope of knowledge you and your colleagues have on the misuse of drugs and withdrawl. But this is alright for not only did i give myself permision to stop being ill whatever the cause i also decided to........ stop within the space of my time...... Yes it is possible to hold to account all the doctors psychhospitals drugs and miss formation thrown up and into our faces as truth that has gone around since Freud and before him. But "such" a waste in time and energy. It would only serve as a pointless distraction to give this crititism, pen and ink  time. Now! to stop and smell the flowers, the emphasis being "to STOP" this is the key to a happy life, dont go back or   backward if you can, avoid it unless a traumatic event has crashed and crushed your life so that the resulting blob on the floor called you as a human was not recognizable from the result, but you look at yourself from the inside more like a bit of vomit than a person. But this you can fix too. The reason you stop is so you can "resume" your life with permission. Your understanding with empathy with a sence purpose. The fight is over, the battle is won, engoy the fruit of your labour, enjoy what you have fought for. Kiss your wife tenderly give your children a hug, allow your grandchildren to walk all over you physically. Use what you have learnt to help others. Then go outside  and smell the roses. You may be Iike me, i want to go to every beach on the planet and walk along every shorline looking at all the rock formations in existance this to me is my rose, my nose chooses to love and to smell the shorelines of the earth. Find your roses. Dont get too caught up with what has happened in the past weather you made good choices or bad ones, for you are the sum total of your exeriance, you use what you have. Draw a line in the sand and say this is it...., that was that and before,...  but as for "me" i will now take care of "now" along with all those under my watch.


After 48 years of illness.🤤 Diagnosed for 34 years as bipolar of which i was on zoloft for 23 years. 300mg for the past 5 years.😲 I stoped zoloft mid  December 2017 tapering 25mg per week.🤒 Stopped completely 4 months later mid April 2018. A good decision but not without its problems. Incessant itching all over my body also patches of welps on my trunk and upper legs. After a trial of various kinds, soaking my body in all kinds of substances, ended up using goat milk soap and PawPaw soap which helps a lot. Eventually my body will forgive me for my excess use of of a drug. The only questions left remaining are 👀will i deal with my future stressors effectively and appropriately, has my 48 years of negative and positive experiances been a help or are there still underlying problems the the "god zoloft"🙏 only covered over since my youth, the comming years will reveal all.

My quote: "you must learn to laugh at yourself then you are a survivor."😉👑

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Gerg

I have decided that as my symptoms concerning withdrawal from 23 years and 300mg of zoloft are now only 2% negative and declining. It is time after 28 weeks of reducing the dose 25mg per week. It is time to say good riddance to this  mind meddling rubbish called a medication. I still use the pawpaw soap though and that is all I can say.

Gerg


After 48 years of illness.🤤 Diagnosed for 34 years as bipolar of which i was on zoloft for 23 years. 300mg for the past 5 years.😲 I stoped zoloft mid  December 2017 tapering 25mg per week.🤒 Stopped completely 4 months later mid April 2018. A good decision but not without its problems. Incessant itching all over my body also patches of welps on my trunk and upper legs. After a trial of various kinds, soaking my body in all kinds of substances, ended up using goat milk soap and PawPaw soap which helps a lot. Eventually my body will forgive me for my excess use of of a drug. The only questions left remaining are 👀will i deal with my future stressors effectively and appropriately, has my 48 years of negative and positive experiances been a help or are there still underlying problems the the "god zoloft"🙏 only covered over since my youth, the comming years will reveal all.

My quote: "you must learn to laugh at yourself then you are a survivor."😉👑

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Hopefull
On 6/9/2018 at 7:10 PM, Gerg said:

I to airwilliams

You have more knowledge in this are of medications and withdrawl than i do. I do not hope to come near to the understanding or the scope of knowledge you and your colleagues have on the misuse of drugs and withdrawl. But this is alright for not only did i give myself permision to stop being ill whatever the cause i also decided to........ stop within the space of my time...... Yes it is possible to hold to account all the doctors psychhospitals drugs and miss formation thrown up and into our faces as truth that has gone around since Freud and before him. But "such" a waste in time and energy. It would only serve as a pointless distraction to give this crititism, pen and ink  time. Now! to stop and smell the flowers, the emphasis being "to STOP" this is the key to a happy life, dont go back or   backward if you can, avoid it unless a traumatic event has crashed and crushed your life so that the resulting blob on the floor called you as a human was not recognizable from the result, but you look at yourself from the inside more like a bit of vomit than a person. But this you can fix too. The reason you stop is so you can "resume" your life with permission. Your understanding with empathy with a sence purpose. The fight is over, the battle is won, engoy the fruit of your labour, enjoy what you have fought for. Kiss your wife tenderly give your children a hug, allow your grandchildren to walk all over you physically. Use what you have learnt to help others. Then go outside  and smell the roses. You may be Iike me, i want to go to every beach on the planet and walk along every shorline looking at all the rock formations in existance this to me is my rose, my nose chooses to love and to smell the shorelines of the earth. Find your roses. Dont get too caught up with what has happened in the past weather you made good choices or bad ones, for you are the sum total of your exeriance, you use what you have. Draw a line in the sand and say this is it...., that was that and before,...  but as for "me" i will now take care of "now" along with all those under my watch.

 

Hi Gerg,

Your words of wisdom are inspirational. 

Leting go of the past is really difficult at times.  But you are 100% right, that at some point we must let it go.

My biggest regret is trying Zoloft for anxiety,  which led me to a pathway of darkness and uncertainty.

But as you point out, there is no point of regretting the mistakes we make, because we can not go back in time. Each triumph and failure in our lives makes us who we are. 

I really enjoy reading your posts. 

Take care,  Hopefull. 

 

 

 

 


DRUG HISTORY:

 

November 2013- Zoloft, ( Bad reaction).

January 2014 - March 2014 Seroquel.( Quit Cold Turkey).

January2014- Mirtazapine, I was taking 15mg at one stage, reduced to 7.5mg, Pgad reactions to Mirtazapine. Doctor kept increasing it to 37.5mg, until July 2014. No improvement, experiencing panic attacks, on 37.5 mg. I had enough by October 2014. Began tapering.

October 2014- Started tapering Mirtazapine from 37.5mg.

September 2015- Down to 4mg of Mirtazapine. Crashed.

September 16th- Up dosed to 5mg. Held this dose for almost 5 months. Stabilised.

February 2016- Began tapering again. From 5mg to 4.5mg of Mirtazapine. (Rocking the boat, again)! Lol. :(

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Gerg

We have taught ourselves that we dont make good decisions when it comes to lifes comings and goings so we get caught going onto meds that harm us. We convince ourselves due to negative feedback from others and our own thinking that we can not do it. That is to separate ourselves from the dross of indecision and the purposfull ambirguity of lifes potential and goodness when it comes to the making of decisions. I am the first to admit that this is me too. At what period in time then, when do you say to yourself it is time to change from who i have become to someone better that i can respect. How do i start and when. i think that we all need to give ourselves due respect and opportunity to make a change especially if we are uncurtain, scared, or just plain confused as to where and what to do. The real world is a scary place with many uncurtainties, and a drug or the results of being on a drug can be a "proposed" negative decision made on purpose. This is used as a true distraction and a way out of taking care of our physical, emotional, mental and spiritus needs but it does not work. What we have done is used our own interlect as a cloak of deception on ourselves. For unknown to our selves we are wise enough inside to use our own manufactured ignorance as a tool to hurt ourselves. So how do we escape this cycle of ignorance and self harm. You do this by seeing the need to draw a line in the sand of your life and deciding to be good news for yourself and to yourself. The line of this maginary sand is the point where you say i am going to look after my self, i am going to be kind and respect the body i have been given and privilaged to care for. Even if it hurts a little i owe it to myself. This is how you start.


After 48 years of illness.🤤 Diagnosed for 34 years as bipolar of which i was on zoloft for 23 years. 300mg for the past 5 years.😲 I stoped zoloft mid  December 2017 tapering 25mg per week.🤒 Stopped completely 4 months later mid April 2018. A good decision but not without its problems. Incessant itching all over my body also patches of welps on my trunk and upper legs. After a trial of various kinds, soaking my body in all kinds of substances, ended up using goat milk soap and PawPaw soap which helps a lot. Eventually my body will forgive me for my excess use of of a drug. The only questions left remaining are 👀will i deal with my future stressors effectively and appropriately, has my 48 years of negative and positive experiances been a help or are there still underlying problems the the "god zoloft"🙏 only covered over since my youth, the comming years will reveal all.

My quote: "you must learn to laugh at yourself then you are a survivor."😉👑

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mammaP
On 5/20/2018 at 3:05 PM, Gerg said:

To altosrtata.

Took my last med 12 days ago.

 

On 7/1/2018 at 8:30 AM, Gerg said:

I have decided that as my symptoms concerning withdrawal from 23 years and 300mg of zoloft are now only 2% negative and declining. It is time after 28 weeks of reducing the dose 25mg per week. It is time to say good riddance to this  mind meddling rubbish called a medication. I still use the pawpaw soap though and that is all I can say.

Gerg

I am a bit confused Gerg, Did you reinstate zoloft?


**I am not a medical professional, if in doubt please consult a doctor with withdrawal knowledge.

 

 

Different drugs occasionally (mostly benzos) 1976 - 1981 (no problem)

1993 - 2002 in and out of hospital. every type of drug + ECT. Staring with seroxat

2002  effexor. 

Tapered  March 2012 to March 2013, ending with 5 beads.

Withdrawal April 2013 . Reinstated 5 beads reduced to 4 beads May 2013

Restarted taper  Nov 2013  

OFF EFFEXOR Feb 2015    :D 

Tapered atenolol and omeprazole Dec 2013 - May 2014

 

Tapering tramadol, Feb 2015 100mg , March 2015 50mg  

 July 2017 30mg.  May 15 2018 25mg

Taking fish oil, magnesium, B12, folic acid, bilberry eyebright for eye pressure. 

 

My story http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4199-hello-mammap-checking-in/page-33

 

Lesson learned, slow down taper at lower doses. Taper no more than 10% of CURRENT dose if possible

 

 

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Gerg

On 300mg zoloft up to mid Dec.

Reduced zoloft 25mg per week from mid Dec 2017 to mid April

Finished zoloft altogether mid April.

I have been drug free now for 3 months with no noticable side effects.


After 48 years of illness.🤤 Diagnosed for 34 years as bipolar of which i was on zoloft for 23 years. 300mg for the past 5 years.😲 I stoped zoloft mid  December 2017 tapering 25mg per week.🤒 Stopped completely 4 months later mid April 2018. A good decision but not without its problems. Incessant itching all over my body also patches of welps on my trunk and upper legs. After a trial of various kinds, soaking my body in all kinds of substances, ended up using goat milk soap and PawPaw soap which helps a lot. Eventually my body will forgive me for my excess use of of a drug. The only questions left remaining are 👀will i deal with my future stressors effectively and appropriately, has my 48 years of negative and positive experiances been a help or are there still underlying problems the the "god zoloft"🙏 only covered over since my youth, the comming years will reveal all.

My quote: "you must learn to laugh at yourself then you are a survivor."😉👑

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Gerg

Mammap

Reinstate zoloft ?.?

Had to think, what you are asking. I was taken off (250mg zoloft) with no side effects after many years.  After being admitted to a psych hospital (1 year later and several other drugs xanax, effexor, tegratol etc) the head doctor then "reinstated" the drug and pushed me up an extra 50mg to  300mg zoloft where i remained for several years. I then opted out of this treadmill of chemical abuse. So in addition to this word above "reinstated", I also "reinstated" my mind. It is quite an education i can tell you this "(peculiar reinstatment of my mind"). I do not appreciate the education a mind interfering drug brings, but i have aquired a peculiar wisdom that few will ever come to know because of it. You have to know that 48+ years of pushing for a healthy thinking pattern, used productively and developed has become a big big plus for me.

 


After 48 years of illness.🤤 Diagnosed for 34 years as bipolar of which i was on zoloft for 23 years. 300mg for the past 5 years.😲 I stoped zoloft mid  December 2017 tapering 25mg per week.🤒 Stopped completely 4 months later mid April 2018. A good decision but not without its problems. Incessant itching all over my body also patches of welps on my trunk and upper legs. After a trial of various kinds, soaking my body in all kinds of substances, ended up using goat milk soap and PawPaw soap which helps a lot. Eventually my body will forgive me for my excess use of of a drug. The only questions left remaining are 👀will i deal with my future stressors effectively and appropriately, has my 48 years of negative and positive experiances been a help or are there still underlying problems the the "god zoloft"🙏 only covered over since my youth, the comming years will reveal all.

My quote: "you must learn to laugh at yourself then you are a survivor."😉👑

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