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Carmie

Carmie: accidently doubling up on seroquel one day while tapering

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ChessieCat
43 minutes ago, Carmie said:

I like how you see the crime first n then Colombo figures it out. All other crime shows you have to figure out who did it.

 

That means that you don't have to think so hard!

 

Glad you are taking care of yourself.  And thank you for reminding me that I need to do the same.

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Bee5

Hi Carmie,

Has it helped to go back on the previous tablets?

Thinking of you...

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Carmie
3 hours ago, ChessieCat said:

 

That means that you don't have to think so hard!

 

Glad you are taking care of yourself.  And thank you for reminding me that I need to do the same.

 

So true ChessieCat, 

 

One has to use distractions that one can cope with when their brain disappears😀.

 

Yes, please take care of yourself, don’t feel guilty for things you can’t do. Try n focus on what you can do. I know you like to journal too. I’m looking forward to reading your post on it one day. Maybe you can write down what you actually accomplished at the end of the day. Not what you couldn’t do.

 

I hope you have fun with more sewing projects.

 

Im listening to music now, just put together a new playlist. I own heaps of CDs too. Major music freak here!

 

Take care💚

2 hours ago, Bee5 said:

Hi Carmie,

Has it helped to go back on the previous tablets?

Thinking of you...

 

Hi Bee, I haven’t stabilised on the compounding capsules yet but when I do I’ll go back to my original tablets. It might take many months to stabilise again when I do that but I think it’s best in the long run. That’s probably at least six months going backwards but I really do think it’s best for me in the long run.

 

Sending hugs🤗

 

Sending hugs🤗

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Carmie

This eve I put together a new playlist on Spotify. If you love music as much as I do n you are not noise sensitive check out Spotify, it’s free if you can tolerate commercials every thirty minutes or so. It’s pretty good. I think it’s only ten dollars a month if you want to get rid of the commercials. I own millions of CDs though, still love my CDs despite the digital age. 

 

You can keep making up new playlists on Spotify. Music is an AMAZING distraction.

 

This is the playlist I made up tonight:

Radioactive - Imagine Dragons.

Thunder - Imagine Dragons.

Everbody’s Changing - Keane.

Is It Any Wonder - Keane.

Stranger In Me - Pseudo Echo.

Funky Town - Pseudo Echo.

Space Oddity - David Bowie.

My Name Is Ruin - Gary Numan. 

Uprising - Muse. 

Runaway Train - Soul Assylm 

Viva La Vida - Coldplay.

Violet Hill - Coldplay.

Things We Lost In The Fire - Bastille.

Pompeii - Bastille.

Last Train To Clarksville - The Monkees.

She’s My Ute - Lee Kernaghnan.

The Outback Club - Lee Kernaghan. 

Mama Said - Lucas Graham. 

The Pieces Don’t Fit Anymore - James Morrison.

Someday - Rob Thomas. 

Better - Rob Thomas. 

River - Josh Groban.

 

Make up your own playlists n keep changed ng them. An amazing distraction when going through withdrawals. Now it’s back to my music🎼🎸🎤

 

Sending hugs🤗

 

 

 

 

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Carmie

Just listened to Pseudo Echo’s Stranger In Me n I think we can all relate to this song. Loooove Pseudo Echo n have seen them twice in concert. I couldn’t stop singing Stranger In Me for ages after one of their concerts n I have the most awful singing voice😂. My poor friends!!! I remember going to the theatre with a friend not long after one of the concerts n still had that song in my head . Put those ear plugs in, here comes Carmie🤣.

 

Anyway, the song goes:

It’s complicated, not clear to see, 

My personality’s a stranger to me, it’s not related, how can this be?

 

That’s how we can feel during withdrawals, like we are not our real selves n we want ourselves back! How nice it will be when we all reach equilibrium n feel like ourselves again!

 

Okay, now it’s onto Funky Town, won’t you take me to a funky town?😀🎼🎤 That song is really long, it goes on forever at a concert. Cool song! 

 

It’s beddy byes for me soon, so I’ll say goodnight.

 

Please keep finding things to help you distract. This journey certainly is tough. Hang in there everyone 💚💚

 

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DMV64
14 hours ago, Carmie said:

Music is an AMAZING distraction.

I think I might have to go steal your playlist!

I have a zillion on spotify too!

How are you doing? I have been up and down. Lots of trouble with motivation and focus but the morning cortisol has been better.

Trying to get on here to say hi and read people's threads and focus is such a problem. xoxo

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Carmie
6 hours ago, DMV64 said:

I think I might have to go steal your playlist!

I have a zillion on spotify too!

How are you doing? I have been up and down. Lots of trouble with motivation and focus but the morning cortisol has been better.

Trying to get on here to say hi and read people's threads and focus is such a problem. xoxo

 

Hi DMV, 

 

Thanks for dropping by. I have bad brain fog at the moment so can’t interact much but just wanted to say I’m glad you love music too n have zillions of songs on Spotify.

 

By the way, on the last playlist I wrote the song Better is from One Republic, not Rob Thomas. Always make mistakes when I post things as I struggle to think. Music is an amazing distraction n it makes me sad when I read about the people who are noise sensitive going through withdrawals.

 

Im sorry you have been up n down. I haven’t stabilised yet but when I stabilise I will go back to the original tablets as they are more accurate.

 

 Yes, motivation can be a struggle when going through withdrawals n as you said, focus too. I have so many things in my brain that I want to do but don’t have much strength, that’s due to my illness as well. I do manage to do some of them though. I was blessed with a creative brain n I always have a million creative projects I want to do. Even if I can’t do them or may be able to do them way down the track at least my ideas keep me entertained.😂

 

Take care, sending hugs🤗

 

 

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Rabe

Carmie...do you know what the tablets etc should weigh on a scale...what it should read out as?  I remember brassmonkey at some point telling someone...and it wasnt what I thought it would be.  Should you dose read the same on the scale?  As I recall it was not the same...but I cant find it now...at time I wasnt going to weight so didnt copy it.

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Carmie
5 hours ago, Rabe said:

Carmie...do you know what the tablets etc should weigh on a scale...what it should read out as?  I remember brassmonkey at some point telling someone...and it wasnt what I thought it would be.  Should you dose read the same on the scale?  As I recall it was not the same...but I cant find it now...at time I wasnt going to weight so didnt copy it.

 

Hi Rabe, 

I see Brassmonkey has answered your question on your thread. I think a good idea would be to get yourself a pretty notebook n write down all the information relevant to your tapering n anything on this site that you find beneficial so you can always find it easily again n won’t feel so stressed. 

 

I can see you get easily flustered which is not hard in withdrawals, plus our brains are so bad. If you have all the information in one place, making it easily accessible, you won’t feel so flustered n out of control all the time. This certainly is a stressful journey.

 

Sending hugs🤗

 

 

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Carmie

Just documenting. It’s day 76 since changing to compounded n I haven’t stabilise yet, though I did accidentally take a double dose a little while ago so that definitely wouldn’t have helped.

 

Can barely think so I’m cranking up the music. 

 

Hope everyone is coping as best they can💚💚

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Carmie

Good night everyone, 

 

Had no brain all day but a bit of it came back this evening. I went to make a coconut water n berry smoothie for lunch n I was pressing down on the NutriBullet n it wasn’t working. One has to plug it in for it to work!😂 it does need electricity! 

 

Zzzzzzzz💚

 

 

 

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direstraits
4 hours ago, Carmie said:

Good night everyone, 

 

Had no brain all day but a bit of it came back this evening. I went to make a coconut water n berry smoothie for lunch n I was pressing down on the NutriBullet n it wasn’t working. One has to plug it in for it to work!😂 it does need electricity! 

 

Zzzzzzzz💚

 

 

 

😄😄😄😄

sleep well..❤️

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Carmie
13 hours ago, direstraits said:

😄😄😄😄

sleep well..❤️

 

Hi Direstraits, 

 

Thank you for your message. I did sleep well but that’s because the seroquel makes me sleep. I may end up going into rebound insomnia once I get down to the really low doses or am off it completely because once when I forgot to take it I didn’t sleep a wink. Not focusing on that now though, as we can only live in this moment n we don’t know what the future holds. 

 

Im glad I made you laugh, I really do laugh at myself all of the time, I do the silliest things because of memory problems n severe brain fog. One must laugh n not take oneself so seriously because what can you do?? 

 

I had a nice time this morning n caught up with a friend. It was so amazing for about an hour or so this morning as the anhedonia totally lifted. I couldn’t stop smiling n I could really feel feelings. I was waiting for the bus n everything seemed so much brighter. It comes n goes but it’s INCREDIBLE when the anhedonia lifts. 

 

When I went down the Coast with friends I didn’t have anhedonia as I hadn’t tapered for months but when I went down the Coast to visit my sister after that I had trouble enjoying anything. Even when I’m anhedonic though I still continue to do the things that would normally give me joy such as going out in nature n doing arts and crafts n spending time with friends n music n concerts etc.

 

Speaking of friends, even though I was still about eighty percent anhedonic when I caught up with this particular friend this morning I felt so much better than the last time I caught up with her. I was such a mess the last time but even when I’m in a mess I still make time for my friends n they are still there for me. They take me as I come. I love encouraging my friends n they love encouraging me so I’m so grateful. I’m barely functional at times but their love keeps me going. 

 

You know those times when you’re around people n you can’t even feel who you are, that’s how I felt last time I met up with this friend. 

 

Well, I’m lying in bed now n I’ve got my fairy lights on n I’m looking at my happy wall n crocheting. I started watching a DVD but my brain left me. Brain, where are you? You never know how you will be from one second to the next, some of my brain may come back again soon. 

 

I have many distractions that I can use when my brain barely functions. I’m an expert!!!😜

 

Take care, sending hugs🤗💚

 

 

 

 

 

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Rabe

Hi Carmie...I got some new Viibryd capsules today...they actually delivered them!😳 Guess he will complete is checking of the ones I sent and will get back to me.  New ones are much more in sync it seems, but as you know each new batch is different.

I am glad you had a nice day...the anhedonia is sad isn't it?  Every now and then I et excited about something or feel how I would have before all this but it is rare.  I am loving fairy lights!!!  You are fabulous!!!!  Hoping you stablize soon!💜

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Carmie
4 hours ago, Rabe said:

Hi Carmie...I got some new Viibryd capsules today...they actually delivered them!😳 Guess he will complete is checking of the ones I sent and will get back to me.  New ones are much more in sync it seems, but as you know each new batch is different.

I am glad you had a nice day...the anhedonia is sad isn't it?  Every now and then I et excited about something or feel how I would have before all this but it is rare.  I am loving fairy lights!!!  You are fabulous!!!!  Hoping you stablize soon!💜

 

Hi Rabe, 

 

Great to hear you got your new capsules today. How cool you got them delivered. So glad the new batch is better. It looks like they really did a bad job of the last batch if each capsule looked like it had a different amount in it.

 

Yes, anhedonia is not fun but it comes n goes depending on where I am in my taper. I still do things when I’m anhedonic but when I’m not I really get out there n enjoy everything. I go on little adventures n make happy memories. I take a million photos. Editing the photos has actually been am amazing distraction when I’ve been in bad waves. 

 

When I take photos while I’m anhedonic I’m not as creative but I get my creative outlet later on when I edit them. I have spent soooo many hours editing photos when in bad waves. It’s kept me sane.

 

I did a lot of photoshopping of friend’s photos at one stage n that gave them all a laugh. I gave them different hairstyles n put them in sceneries all around the world n doing things they don’t normally do like skiing, being an astronaut etc. It was hilarious! 

 

The only thing that stops me from going out is when the cfs is really bad n I can barely move n am stuck in bed for most of the day. Even when I’m in bad waves but have some strength to get out in nature I will go out as I find nature an amazing distraction. Not every day though, as I like my quiet time at home too. I have lots of creative projects on the go n love reading ( when my brain lets me) and watching shows n movies and listening to music. And off course, one must do one’s housework😁

 

Take care 💚

 

 

 

 

 

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quetiapineAddict
On 10/28/2018 at 11:43 PM, Carmie said:

 

Hi QA, 

 

There is no way I would go cold turkey. I just have to taper a small 5% n I get withdrawal symptoms. If I taper at 10% withdrawals get sooooo severe.  7.5mg isn’t a small amount. Some people taper from 0.0 something n when they do that even small amount they end up with bad withdrawals.

 

My brain is so sensitive to any change that if I cold turkeyed the withdrawals would be so bad that I wouldn’t want to live.  I have been put on n off meds in the past, all due to chronic pain n it was a nightmare. I was cold turkeyed too, that was absolute torture. You can get protracted withdrawals too if you cold turkey.

 

Coming off the meds isn’t the end of the journey. It takes time for your brain still to heal after the last dose of medication you take and if you cold turkey it can take even longer, especially if you’re extremely sensitive to meds. Some people have been in protracted withdrawals for years after going cold turkey.

 

Because youre on such high high doses of seroquel going down by 7.5mg for you wouldn’t be a lot but cold turkeying that at the end would be like jumping off a cliff. 

 

I am going to do the brassmonkey slide, I’ll maybe tweak it here n there, but it might take about ten years to get off this last dose. I really don’t want protracted withdrawals.

 

Please be careful with your tapering. 

 

Take care💚

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 lol carmie in 10 years they are going to close the matrix. iv'e got no time 

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Carmie
6 hours ago, quetiapineAddict said:

 lol carmie in 10 years they are going to close the matrix. iv'e got no time 

 

Hi QA, 

 

 

😂Better safe than sorry though. Please be careful with your tapering as you may pay for it down the track.  Make sure you don’t jump off too early when you’re on low doses either.

 

Wishing you all the best with your continued tapering , and again, please be careful.

 

Sending hugs🤗

 

 

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Carmie

Hi everyone, 

 

I’m really struggling to think today but I had to share something I read this morning in the thread on neuro-emotions that gave me a giggle. 

 

ShakesJerr wrote this:

 

“ Why does it seem that all of the neuro-emotions we get in withdrawal are bad? Why don’t we get neuro-happiness or neuro-confidence?

 

Yeah, I know that’s mostly a rhetorical question, I know it has to do with down-regulation of serotonin and norepinephrine, but I just wonder why, if our systems are in such a state of flux, we don’t get the occasional up-regulation? 

 

Im not talking about much like a window. I mean more like a good neuro-endured emotion.”

 

Bring on some neuro-happiness ☀️☀️. How cool would it be if we did get positive heightened neuro-emotions!?  Alas, that is not to be by the looks of it. 

 

Hang in there everyone. We will win this fight eventually 💚💚

 

 

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Miracle123

 

On 11/10/2018 at 4:27 PM, Carmie said:

haven’t stabilised on the compounding capsules yet but when I do I’ll go back to my original tablets. It might take many months to stabilise again when I do that but I think it’s best in the long run. That’s probably at least six months going backwards but I really do think it’s best for me in the long run.

Hi Carmie, im so sorry you are not stable and still dealing with waves.But at least you know well and not too hurry for your next taper. Yes...im agreed for long run more better and stable. Actually this is not easy journey and you are strong ,brave enough to faced it with all your positive effort which im respect so much.🤗

Its not easy to found a person who understand well of CFS and willing to listen or share.....im happy you finally found her. This world is a lots of hope and unbelievable miracle .....anything will happen not matter happy or sad...Just believe that we can made it in our healing journey. Even though im far far away from this forum but im feel warm, at least someone still remember us. Love and warmest hugs from me.😘

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Carmie

Hi @Miracle123

 

Thanks for dropping by. Yes, we definitely will get all there in the end. It’s  not an easy journey n it’s a really slow process but we will all eventually make it to the end of this roller coaster ride.

 

Withdrawals aren’t fun like roller coasters but it’s a good analogy as withdrawals are up, down, up, down, around the bend, sharp dips, smaller dips etc. We never know what is coming around the corner. The same with windows n waves, we never know how we will be from one day to the next, one moment to the next. It’s quite a ride.

 

Had really bad waves yesterday but so far today I’m not too bad. Okay, what is the next hour going to bring? The next half hour? The next minute? The next second? Who knows? So the roller coaster ride continues.

 

Warmest hugs right back at you Miracle🤗

 

 

 

 

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Rabe

Nice neuro emotions would be SO nice, Carmie.  Im with you on that!  Hope you had some special moments today!  Thinking of you!  💜  

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Carmie
3 hours ago, Rabe said:

Nice neuro emotions would be SO nice, Carmie.  Im with you on that!  Hope you had some special moments today!  Thinking of you!  💜  

 

Yeah Rabe, how cool would it be if we did get positive neuro emotions.

 

Hope you’re coping okay today? I didn’t get up to much, been in bed mainly with the occasional getting up to do some housework. Am crocheting a blanket in blue, a shade of blue that reminds me of the ocean. Isn’t water the most amazing thing? Whether it’s the beach, a lake, a creek, a river, the rain, I love the sound of water ( a lot of the time when I type water autocorrect changes it to Walter???🤔I don’t even know a Walter😂

 

Well I might watch some DVDs now, my favourite show of all time is Gilmore Girls and I’ve watched it a million n one times. Love all the quirky characters n the scenery. I want to live in Stars Hollow!😜

 

Sending hugs to you Rabe🤗

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jozeff

Hi Carmie,

 

I love your playlist but no Dire Straits???

 

Well, everyone has its own favorites😉😉😉

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Carmie
41 minutes ago, jozeff said:

Hi Carmie,

 

I love your playlist but no Dire Straits???

 

Well, everyone has its own favorites😉😉😉

 

Hey Jozeff, 

 

😂 Did you see on YouTube Direstraits’ Sultans Of Swing has over 119 million views! 

 

I’m just putting together another play list which I’m calling WALLOW, it’s for the time I’m miserable n music understands me. Some of the songs are still a bit upbeat though. 

 

This is the list list so far but I’ll be adding more: 

 

Fix You - Coldplay. 

The Scientist -Coldplay.

Pieces - Rob Thomas.

Her Diamonds - Rob Thomas.

The Sound Of Silence - Simon and Garfunkel. 

Old Friends - Simon and Garfunkel. 

Chasing Cars - Snow Patrol. 

You’re Not There - Lucas Graham. 

Stressed Out - Twenty One Pilots. 

Car Radio - Twenty One Pilots. 

Quicksand - Tom Chaplin. 

The Wave - Tom Chaplin. 

Hardened Heart - Tom Chaplin. 

Spiralling - Keane. 

Bedshaped - Keane. 

Bad Day - Daniel Powter. 

I lived - One Republic. 

Help - The Beatles. 

Better Days - Pete Murray.

Flight - Lighthouse. 

Bleeding Out - Imagine Dragons. 

I’m so sorry - Imagine Dragons. 

 

I’ll keep adding to it. I remember reading somewhere that music featuring  struggling etc helps you when you’re down. You can identify with it. I’ve played many of these songs through the darkest of waves. 

 

Can you tell I like Keane n Tom Chaplin?😁 Keane aren’t together anymore n even though Tom Chaplin still performs he never comes to Australia 😪. I’ve seen a number of the singers mentioned here: Coldplay, Imagine Dragons, Pete Murray, Lifehouse, Twenty One Pilots and Rob Thomas. I’ve actually seen Rob Thomas three times, twice with Matchbox Twenty, he never disappoints.

 

Know any sad Direstraits songs I can add to my WALLOW playlist 😁

 

Take care n thanks for dropping by💚

 

 

 

 

 

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jozeff

Hi,.good stuff!

 

We went to Coldplay when they were getting bigger than big in 2009 in the park in Nijmegen in the Netherlands. Warm evening, 60.000 people, my girlfriend ( now wife)..... unforgettable evening.

 

Yes, sultans of swings, one of my all-time favorites. Have seen mark Knopfler 5 or 6 times. He's getting a bit dull to be honest so the last 5 years I've been skipping him 

 

Thanks for your reply tou subject btw. Very much appreciated. Now I'm at work so I'll come back to your response later ok?

 

 

Cheers

 

Jozeff

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Miracle123
8 hours ago, Carmie said:

Had really bad waves yesterday but so far today I’m not too bad. Okay, what is the next hour going to bring? The next half hour? The next minute? The next second? Who knows? So the roller coaster ride continues.

Hi Carmie, Hope today your waves not too bad and settle a bit. Yup.....withdrawals is like a roller coasters up and down , worse or not too bad. Just hoping these waves will getting shorter and faster by passes from minutes to days and continue from  months to years so........until it gone. Take care and hugs🤗

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Miracle123

Im just noticed it.Congratulation been moderator here and thanks for willing to share and help with us your positive and energetic attidue. Keep it up Carmie.....proud of you.💚💚

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quetiapineAddict
On 11/13/2018 at 11:38 PM, Carmie said:

 

Hi QA, 

 

 

😂Better safe than sorry though. Please be careful with your tapering as you may pay for it down the track.  Make sure you don’t jump off too early when you’re on low doses either.

 

Wishing you all the best with your continued tapering , and again, please be careful.

 

Sending hugs🤗

 

 

carmie i'm safe as a seat-belt. i have increased and lowered my dose many times according to my struggles.

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Carmie
8 minutes ago, quetiapineAddict said:

carmie i'm safe as a seat-belt. i have increased and lowered my dose many times according to my struggles.

 

You’re funny QA, 

 

Well I hope that seat belt stays put.

 

Well I wish you all the best in your taper. I see on your thread that Manymoretodays was a bit concerned too. 

 

Take care, sending hugs 🤗

 

 

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direstraits

just wanted to say congrats on becoming a Mod!

hope you're coping 0K.

Love and hugs, ds

❤️🤗

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jozeff

So Carmie you became moderator!

 

Well done. Of course it would be better if you never joined this site in the first place but still.

 

 

Congratulations and keep up your wonderful work!

 

 

Jozeff

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Carmie
7 hours ago, direstraits said:

just wanted to say congrats on becoming a Mod!

hope you're coping 0K.

Love and hugs, ds

❤️🤗

 

13 hours ago, Miracle123 said:

Im just noticed it.Congratulation been moderator here and thanks for willing to share and help with us your positive and energetic attidue. Keep it up Carmie.....proud of you.💚💚

6 hours ago, jozeff said:

So Carmie you became moderator!

 

Well done. Of course it would be better if you never joined this site in the first place but still.

 

 

Congratulations and keep up your wonderful work!

 

 

Jozeff

 

Thanks guys, 

 

Hope you’re all coping the best you can. Just remember to Distract! Distract! Distract! when you’re in waves and to make some happy memories to look back on when you’re in windows. If you make happy memories they put some positivity in our brains n help us to see that we will get more windows in the future n can have more happy times. 

 

I hope you’ve all found good distractions. Even if you can’t feel the joy in them, do them anyway!

 

Take care💚

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Carmie

Hi everyone, 

 

Hope you’re all finding good coping strategies and distractions. Those neuro-emotions are something else, aren’t they? 

 

I don’t usually get angry, I’m not an angry person in general. I do get neuro-sadness though. Any of our emotions can be heightened due to withdrawals. I feel sad about all the people going through withdrawals, I feel sad about my friends going through problems too, I feel sad because of what I’m going through with withdrawals and my illness that limits what I can do,  and the list goes on. 

 

I also get a kind of happy sadness, if you know what I mean. That happens because when I’m in a wave, like right now, and my friends keep contacting me n encouraging me it makes me want to cry. They stick to me like glue, I’m really blessed. When I’m too ill to do things and I have to say no it still doesn’t deter them from continuing to ask me. Well, I guess that really is what true friendship is all about

 

When im in a window I’m fine, I feel happy,  but in waves my sadness sometimes overwhelms me. Ahhhhhh, the world of neuro-emotions!!!! 

 

Hang in there everyone, sending hugs🤗💚

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Survivor1

Hey Carmie,  congrats on the mod thing!  No one better to dispense advice with sunshine attached.  Hope you are well.

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Carmie

Struggling to think today but just wanted to document it is day eighty since changing to the compounded formula and day 23 since I accidentally took a double dose. Bad waves most of this week. Not a good day today but keeping myself distracted. 

 

9 hours ago, Survivor1 said:

Hey Carmie,  congrats on the mod thing!  No one better to dispense advice with sunshine attached.  Hope you are well.

 

Thanks Survivor, you’re a sweetheart. Sending sunshine your way☀️☀️☀️😁

 

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Rabe

Carmie, I didnt notice that until read S1's post!!!  You will be WONderful!!!  Thank you for devotion!!  Blessings and love!  I hope you feel more stable soon Carmie! 💜

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