Carmie: accidently doubling up on Seroquel one day while tapering

[hayduke]

That sounds like a great outing Carmie.  And the zoo too!

 

@India I have no intention of visiting another psychiatrist outside of getting a second opinion on my old diagnosis, or if I was to have serious trouble with my wds.  In either case my support network is available to guide me to better options than the goblin.

[Eastcoastgirl]

On 6/29/2019 at 9:03 PM, Carmie said:

Hi there @neroli  @hayduke   @Bee5

 

How are you all doing today? Hope you’ve got lots of distractions to get you all through another day. It looks like it’s another day in bed for me, though I have a tiny bit more strength today, so I’ll be getting up every now and again to do some housework. I’ve been watching videos this morning already, and have cleaned the kitchen. 📺🧽 I just have to still mop the floor when I get my next tiny spurt of energy.🧹💦 

 

Yes, Neroli, it’s great knowing that when going through waves I always end up stabilising again. There is always light at the end of each dark tunnel.✨✨✨✨✨ I didn’t end up doing a diamond painting yesterday, I played word games instead. Love word games, before I know it hours have flown by which is fabulous when going through waves.🌊🌊

 

My RSI plays up when I use my wrists too much, and I was doing diamond paintings🖼 non stop for days to help me get through the waves, thus the flare up. As long as I don’t do things non stop my wrists seem to be okay, it’s only when I overdo it. 

 

Hayduke, self care is definitely a must. It’s the only way to help us to keep coping. I’ve had chronic fatigue syndrome for nearly 25 years, the meds didn’t cause it. I wasn’t on any meds back then. There have been people though that ended up getting CFS because of these meds, like Catherine from intothewoods if you want to check out her thread. 

 

CFS is a CNS illness, so because these meds muck up our CNS they can cause CFS. I don’t have a hope of even recovering from this illness until I’m off the meds, but I’ve got at least ten years of tapering to go because I can only taper by small amounts. I only learnt in the last few years that CFS is a central nervous system illness, due to research by different ones, so dampening down the nervous system is how one recovers from it. I’ve read lots of recovery stories too. 

 

You’re right there about Claire Weekes’ old school accent. I love it! So soothing!

 

Bee, thanks for your kind words. I’m doing okay, just taking an hour at a time.

 

Okay, my gratitude list for today:

1. I have a little bit of strength so I can do some housework. Yay!🧽🧹🧺

2. I’m cozy in my bedroom with the heater on, and I enjoyed watching short videos this morning. 

3. I’m having a lovely cup of peppermint tea in my cute gold and white striped cup that I got from Kikki K.

4. I have plenty of food.🍎🍐🥗🍗🥕🥬🥒🍅

5. I have plenty of books to read when my brain fog isn’t too bad, including two John Grisham novels I haven’t read as yet. Love John Grisham, such a great writer.📚

 

Sending hugs to you all🤗

I had no idea CFS is a CNS illness! I'm on the tiniest dose of Prozac & mine is worse than ever. Although I have read Prozac can damage mitochondria and they also play a big role in chronic fatigue ! I hope we both heal from this. Days in bed are no fun but sometimes necessary.

[Carmie]

It’s exactly five weeks since my drop from 7mg to 6.75mg and I’ve stabilised. I’ll give it a few more days until I taper down to 6.50mg. 

 

@India Thanks for your recommendation for the period drama. As for your question on tips for adjusting to our nervous systems, all I can say is Distract! Distract! Distract! It really is what gets me through the waves, plus my faith. When I’m really on edge when going through waves I love watching DVDS n Netflix but I can’t just lie there and watch them. I have to be doing something with my hands as well. It used to be non stop crocheting for many years, but I’ve developed RSI because of it and have had to stop. At the moment I’m doing diamond paintings, I’m doing one of a beach scene right now.

 

I haven’t been watching DVDs today, I’ve been watching YouTube videos. Love YouTube. There are videos on pretty much everything. I find word games are really good too when I’m in waves as I find the time goes quickly as I get so engrossed. 

 

The other thing is to have fun things to look forward to no matter how awful you’re feeling. Sometimes I can’t go because I’m too sick but just the thought of having something fun to look forward to boosts my spirits. I’ve been in a window for a few days now so I’ve been able to go out and do a few things which has been very uplifting.

 

@hayduke It was a great outing. I’m still happy today thinking about the fun we had yesterday.

 

 

@Eastcoastgirl CFS is definitely a CNS illness, it affects everything that withdrawals effect too. Every time I see people trying to find something to cure CFS I think it’s a waste of time. I’ve gone through the mill with all sorts of diets, supplements, natural therapists etc etc. I’ve heard so many success stories now and the one common theme that runs through all of them is that people have dampened down their nervous systems. Check out Dan Neuffer. The problem is when we’re in withdrawals there is no way of dampening down our nervous system enough until we are finally med free, and even after that as we have to stabilse once we’re off the meds. As I mentioned I’ve got at least ten years of tapering still to go. 

 

I can’t change it so I try to be as positive as I can with how sick I am and try and still have a life today. I’m not putting my life on hold because I’m sick. I spend lots of time in bed, but I also put lots of positive things in my life. I’m in a window at the moment so I’ve been having some fun. The anhedonia is still there but it’s not too intense, I can actually enjoy some things. 

 

Okay, now to my list of positives.

1. I’m in a window and I’ll taper in a few days time. 

2. I’m going to visit a friend tomorrow that I haven’t seen in ages. Yay!🎉

3. I went to Australia Zoo yesterday, I loooove it there. The kangaroos are so chill, just lying down and relaxing. The crocoseum show is always fun. Terrie and Robert Irwin we’re feeding the crocs🐊🐊🐊

4. I got to see the meerkats again. I’m a big fan. Some of them were wrestling and playing with each other. Awwww!

5.Got to spend time with friends at the zoo. So much laughter and singing in the car on the way back from the zoo.🎼🎼🎤🎤

6. The birds that fly around in the crocoseum show are spectacular. They had lorikeets just flying overhead the people at phenomenal speeds with loud music cranked up. Such fun!🎉

7. Got to take lots of photos at the zoo, love photography📸📸📸💕

8. Catching yo with friends tonight, 

9. Had a good laugh when one of the waiter taps that you drink from at the zoo was squirting water really far. One of my friends was trying to drink from it and we couldn’t stop laughing. Got some great photos💦💦💦💦

10. I’m doing a lovely diamond painting of a beach scene, it will take a while as it’s full drill. 🏖

 

Time to chill to YouTube videos now and my diamond painting. Don’t have tons of strength, have to reserve the little bit I have to catch up with my friends tonight, 

 

Sending hugs to all🤗

 

 

Edited November 13, 2021 by Karma
name update

[Dejavu]

I'm so happy you got to the zoo! Sounds like a good time was had by all.

 

You're in my prayers every night, Carmie. I so wish I could make that horrid CFS - and ADWD for that matter - go away for you. No one deserves a break more than you! 

 

Good luck on your taper. I know you'll smash it! Hugs and hugs and hugs!!!

[Carmie]

Thanks for dropping by @Dejavu, 

 

The Zoo was so cool. I’ve been in a window recently but brain fog has been severe due to my illness. 

 

I thought I’d just drop by briefly today and write down my gratitude list of positives, if nothing else, here goes again: 

 

1. On Thursday went to visit a friend whom I hadn’t seen in ages, we had such a beautiful heart to heart and she slipped a present into my bag when I wasn’t looking.🎁 Awwww!

2. On Friday I spent the day with a friend too, had a lovely lunch and she played the piano for me.🎹

3. Last night I was invited to a friend’s place for dinner, it was yummy and we watched a period drama. I’m a big fan of those.😄

4. Had a delicious lunch today.🥘

5. Had a good talk with a friend on Wednesday night which lifted my spirits. 

 

So I guess, all in all, I can say I’m sooooooo grateful for my friends. I would write down ten things on my gratitude list but I can barely think at the moment, though there are lots more things I’m grateful for. 

 

I’m still deciding when to do the next drop but I’ve stabilised. Maybe tonight, maybe next week? I’ve had such fun times with friends the last seven days I’m not looking forward to going through waves again.🙁 That being said, I’m really ill anyway, but this week I actually managed to do quite a lot. I’m stuck in bed for most of the day today but I still haven’t gone into a total CFS crash as yet. I know if I keep pushing though I won’t be able to move at all, so now it’s time to chill a bit. 

 

I’m still under lots of stress unrelated to withdrawals, I just take a day at a time. 

 

I wonder what tomorrow will bring?🤔😊

 

Sending hugs🤗

 

 

[Carmie]

Just documenting: I’m going to drop from 6.75mg to 6.50mg tonight. It’s day 40 since my last taper and I’ve been in a window for about a week or so, so here comes the rollercoaster ride again. 🎢🎢🎢🎢🤓 One of these days the rollercoaster ride will stop, when it does I’ll be jumping for joy.🎉💃 It’s a really long way away, but slow and steady does is. I can do this! 

 

I made sure I did lots of fun things in my window so that I have lots of lovely memories to look back on. Took lots of happy snaps too.📸📸

 

Wishing everyone here the best with your healing from these meds🤗🤗

[JackieDecides]

16 hours ago, Carmie said:

I can say I’m sooooooo grateful for my friends. I

❤️

[Carmie]

Hi @JackieDecides

 

How are you doing? I was very happy to see you doing a gratitude list. Even when we’re barely keeping our heads above water it’s still good to have a look at the positives in life.

 

One of the positives in my life really are my friends. Sometimes, like over the last week I’m able to get out and about and go on adventures and do fun things with friends. At other times I can be stuck in bed for weeks. Even when I’m stuck in bed I can still chat to friends on the phone or by messaging. I’m stuck in bed today, but I’m in good spirits. I’m just chilling, when I’ve been around people a lot I then need lots of me time too. 

 

Okay, so here is my list of positives for today: 

 

1. I read a bit more of my John Grisham novel last night, and if brain fog isn’t too bad later on I will read a bit more.📚📖

2. I’ve got season eight of Poirot to watch, I watched one episode yesterday.🎞🎞

3. I’m going to make myself a yummy lunch today.🥗

4. A friend messaged me a moment ago, it’s always heartwarming when friends contact me.

5.I received another diamond painting in the mail today with koalas and parrots on it. I’ve got quite a few diamond paintings to do now. I like having a number there always. My happy wall in the bedroom is almost full of them.

6. I’m looking forward to going to the art gallery in the near future, when I pick up in strength again.🖼

7. I’m in my cozy bedroom.🛏

8. I’m grateful for creativity, I love doing creative things.

9. I had fun putting together photographic collages. I’m always snap happy.📸📸📸

10. I managed to run some errands this week. 

 

Okay, I’m going to chill now, make some lunch n watch Poirot. Maybe I’ll do some more of my beach diamond painting too.

 

Sending hugs🤗

[India]

On 7/9/2019 at 11:49 AM, hayduke said:

That sounds like a great outing Carmie.  And the zoo too!

 

@India I have no intention of visiting another psychiatrist outside of getting a second opinion on my old diagnosis, or if I was to have serious trouble with my wds.  In either case my support network is available to guide me to better options than the goblin.

Absolutely...

Sszaz, R.Laing and Foucault on psychiatry are good reads.

[Rabe]

Hi Carmie...thank you for stopping.  Sounds like things are going pretty well?  I know you are tapering and hope that goes well.  You are so blessed to have the support system that you have!  SO many friends and events etc!!!  Love and hugs to you Carmie!💜

[Carmie]

Just popping in briefly to document that today is day five since the drop and I’m still doing okay withdrawal wise so far. Can’t read much though due to severe brain fog. Just wanted to write down my gratitude list again, it’s so important to continue looking at what we’re grateful for, here goes again: 

 

1. Had a great day yesterday, went to the museum and two art galleries. I spent lots of time with a ton of different friends the other week and now I’m all peopled out so I’m doing things on my own. I’m an explorer and adventurer by heart so I had a ball yesterday. Had to sit down and rest a lot due to my illness but it really was a fabulous day.

 

2. Saw the Margaret Olley art exhibition. It was fantastic and I’m definitely going again. One of the things that calms down my brain is reading novels but I can’t always do that due to severe brain fog. I find that sitting in an art gallery and looking at paintings does the same thing. I must get out to more art galleries when I have the strength. 

 

3. I went to the museum yesterday too. It’s great too, though I have an aversion to seeing stuffed animals, I skip those. I prefer to see animals lives. The dinosaur skeletons were cool though! 

 

4. They have a NASA exhibition at the museum, I’m going to see that another day. Can only do so much in one day, though I’m looking forward to seeing that next time.

 

5. They have a cool art library at the Gallery of Modern Art where you can sit n read the books. I spent a little bit of time in there but I didn’t have much concentration. Great to know it’s there though.

 

6. I went to the local library today and got a number of art books. Love looking at paintings and drawings, and when I’m stuck in bed and can’t get to a gallery I can always look at books.

 

7. They had a real cool exhibit at the museum displaying what a loungeroom would have looked like in 1969 with the moon landing, they were even playing the moon landing on the old tv. I was too young to remember, though I was alive at that time. 

 

8. I got to take photos yesterday, lots of photo opportunities. That always makes me happy.

 

9. It’s been such gorgeous weather. Cold in the morning, but then such beautiful sunny days. There’s a regional food festival in the city tomorrow, don’t know if I’ll have the strength to go but if I do I’m sure it will be a fun day. I’m still doing things on my own at the moment as I’m peopled out, but I’m catching up with friends on Sunday if I’m well enough. If I don’t feel up to going out tomorrow I’ve got lots of art books to look at and DVDs to watch.

 

10. I’ve almost finished another diamond painting of a beautiful beach scene. 

 

On 7/18/2019 at 2:19 AM, Rabe said:

Hi Carmie...thank you for stopping.  Sounds like things are going pretty well?  I know you are tapering and hope that goes well.  You are so blessed to have the support system that you have!  SO many friends and events etc!!!  Love and hugs to you Carmie!💜

 

Thanks for dropping by Rabe, 

 

Yes, I’m not doing too bad withdrawal wise at the moment, but who knows what the rest of the month will bring. Withdrawals are all over the place. I think with the last taper the waves started hitting badly around the third or forth weeks. Every taper is so different. With some tapers the withdrawals hit me severely within about five days to a week. 

 

I only live a day at a time, an hour at a time. That’s all we can do on this journey. 

 

Yes, I do have a marvellous support system which I’m so grateful for. I hope you’re doing okay, 

 

Sending hugs🤗

 

 

[hayduke]

Hey Carmie, glad to hear your latest cut is going well.  Great you've been able to get out to see so much brain food, that all sounds great!  Good art is astoundingly stimulating.

 

@India I've read some of Laing and Foucault, both very interesting characters.  Will add Szasz to the tsundoku pile.  I found he was interviewed on ABC radio here not that long ago, I'll tune that podcast in one arvo at work.

 

On that note, as I've got further into my taper, I suddenly seem to be enjoying podcasts!  Go go frontal lobe.

 

Cheers

[Rabe]

SO happy to hear you are doing ok Carmie!  You are truly an inspiration!!💜

[Rosetta]

I'm really glad to see that you are feeling better and have had some activity lately.  Thank you for all your kind messages on my thread recently while I have been struggling.  -Rosetta

[Carmie]

20 hours ago, Rosetta said:

I'm really glad to see that you are feeling better and have had some activity lately.  Thank you for all your kind messages on my thread recently while I have been struggling.  -Rosetta

 

On 7/21/2019 at 1:21 PM, Rabe said:

SO happy to hear you are doing ok Carmie!  You are truly an inspiration!!💜

 

Hi Rabe and Rosetta, 

 

You two are such beautiful souls and I appreciate you popping over to my thread. Yes, I haven’t been doing too bad withdrawal wise since I dropped from 6.75mg to 6.50mg eight days ago, though I am extremely sick with my illness. I had some small waves today. We never know what each day will bring, do we? Sometimes the waves hit me on day five or so, but last time they didn’t hit until a couple of weeks in, which was really unusual. 

 

I want to write a gratitude list now but my brain fog is so bad at the moment that I can’t think enough to write it. 

 

I’m going to chill and watch a movie now instead. 

 

Sending hugs to both of you🤗🤗

[direstraits]

Thanks for visiting my thread, @Carmie.

I'm sorry you feel so sick right now.

I hope you feel better soon.

glad your taper is going well,though.❤️

 

sending healing thoughts and big hugs,ds

xx

[JackieDecides]

3 hours ago, Carmie said:

I want to write a gratitude list now but my brain fog is so bad at the moment that I can’t think enough to write it. 

 

I'm sorry to hear this morning isn't good for you. 

 

🤗

[Rosetta]

I hope you are feelng better today. -R

[Carmie]

On 7/19/2019 at 7:51 PM, hayduke said:

Hey Carmie, glad to hear your latest cut is going well.  Great you've been able to get out to see so much brain food, that all sounds great!  Good art is astoundingly stimulating.

 

@India I've read some of Laing and Foucault, both very interesting characters.  Will add Szasz to the tsundoku pile.  I found he was interviewed on ABC radio here not that long ago, I'll tune that podcast in one arvo at work.

 

On that note, as I've got further into my taper, I suddenly seem to be enjoying podcasts!  Go go frontal lobe.

 

Cheers

 

On 7/22/2019 at 11:47 PM, JackieDecides said:

 

I'm sorry to hear this morning isn't good for you. 

 

🤗

 

On 7/24/2019 at 12:40 PM, Rosetta said:

I hope you are feelng better today. -R

 

Hi guys, 

 

Thanks so much for all dropping by guys and your kind thoughts. I’ve got so much on my plate at the moment which I won’t mention on here. That being said, withdrawals are still bearable, though I’m getting some waves here and there now. Today is day eleven since I tapered from 6.75mg to 6.50mg. Last time the big waves hit around the third week which was a lovely surprise for me, as usually they hit around day 5 or 6. Just goes to show that this journey isn’t linear whatsoever!! You never know what’s going to happen from one day to the next. 

 

Okay, here goes my positivity this for today:

 

1. So far the waves haven’t been too bad. Yay!

2. Having a cuppa with a friend tomorrow.

3. Managed to run some errands Tuesday. 

4. Managed to run some errands today

5. Finished a diamond painting of a beach scene. 

6. Just ordered some more diamond paintings off ebay.

7. Am comfy in my bed. 

8. Have lots of books and DVDs.

9. Had a delicious lunch. 

10. Looking forward to chilling now. Still deciding what to do. Maybe a DVD?

 

I’m so braindead. Was struggling to write this. 

 

Sending hugs🤗🤗

[bheb]

The list is a great idea...glad you've found so many things to fill it with! But sorry to hear about the surprise waves.

[Rosetta]

I'm glad to see you coping so well.  It's wonderful that you enjoy the podcasts and are able to run errands.  Have nice time with your friend tomorrow. -R

[Songbird]

Hi Carmie.  I haven't been here much lately.  I hope you're doing something nice like snuggling in your comfy bed with a good book, or watching a funny DVD.

[Carmie]

On 7/19/2019 at 7:51 PM, hayduke said:

Hey Carmie, glad to hear your latest cut is going well.  Great you've been able to get out to see so much brain food, that all sounds great!  Good art is astoundingly stimulating.

 

@India I've read some of Laing and Foucault, both very interesting characters.  Will add Szasz to the tsundoku pile.  I found he was interviewed on ABC radio here not that long ago, I'll tune that podcast in one arvo at work.

 

On that note, as I've got further into my taper, I suddenly seem to be enjoying podcasts!  Go go frontal lobe.

 

Cheers

 

On 7/25/2019 at 2:29 PM, bheb said:

The list is a great idea...glad you've found so many things to fill it with! But sorry to hear about the surprise waves.

 

On 7/25/2019 at 6:34 PM, Rosetta said:

I'm glad to see you coping so well.  It's wonderful that you enjoy the podcasts and are able to run errands.  Have nice time with your friend tomorrow. -R

 

21 hours ago, Songbird said:

Hi Carmie.  I haven't been here much lately.  I hope you're doing something nice like snuggling in your comfy bed with a good book, or watching a funny DVD.

 

Hi guys, 

 

Thank you all so much for popping around to my thread. It really is appreciated. I’m not on this site very much lately as I’m dealing with a lot of stuff in my life and I’m too sick to spread the little bit of energy I have, but I really hope you are all coping as best you can. 

 

Hayduke, Thanks for your kind words. I’m still doing okay withdrawal wise, I’ve had some waves but they’ve been bearable so far. Today is two weeks since my last drop. The drop before this one the waves didn’t hit hard until the third week. Every time I taper I never know when the waves will hit hard. 

 

Rosetta, you are such a sweetheart and I appreciate your kind words too. I’m so sorry you’ve been struggling with protracted withdrawal for so long. I’m not an angry person whatsoever but it saddens me so much that the doctors don’t know hardly anything about withdrawals and people suffer so much. That being said, we can beat this trial! Our brains have a remarkable ability to heal. You will get there in the end even if you don’t feel like it. Lots of people have recovered. 

 

Bheb, yes I think a gratitude list is a great thing to do despite the pain we all go through. It’s important to still see the things that being us happiness despite the pain. I know you struggle a lot with akathisia. Does it ease at all for you? My heart really goes out to you, because of all the symptoms one can get in withdrawals akathisia tops them all. 

 

Songbird,  I haven’t been much on here lately either. Yes, I love my snuggly bed. I just bought a new doona. I need to watch some more funny videos. I’ve been watching my all time favourite tv series again lately, Gilmore Girls. I couldn’t tell you how many times I’ve watched it. I think I’m as quirky and nutty as Lorelai so I can relate, and I think I’m as book wormish as Rory so I can relate there too. I love the quirky characters and the fun they all have. I think I would die if I lived a monotonous life. 🤣

 

Okay, so here goes my gratitude list for the day:

1. Had an amazing time with friends of all ages this morning. My heart is still warm and aglow with all the interactions.☀️☀️☀️

2. As mentioned above, watched some more of Gilmore Girls today. 🎞🎞👍

3. A friend asked me if I wanted to go to the ballet with her in the near future. Yay! I’ve only been to the ballet twice, though I’ve been to a million concerts, and I’ve also been to quite a number of theatre productions. The funniest play I’ve ever seen was The Play That Goes Wrong. It was a hit around the world and so hilarious that my jaw was hurting from laughing at the end of the night. Les Miserables is my favourite musical ever: Do you hear the people sing, singing the song of angry men, it’s the voices of the people who will not be slaves again🎼🎼🎼🎼🎼🎼

4. Had a lovely time with a friend in Friday. We had a cuppa and a heart to heart. She’s also dealing with lots of stuff. It makes me happy to be there for my friends too. Always nice to have a chat over a cuppa, I had a nice cup of peppermint tea☕️

5. I just made a lovely stir fry. It was yummy. I’m proud of myself as I barely had the energy to make it but I someone managed. Yay me!🥘

6. I have many more things I’m grateful for but my brain fog is hitting me with a vengeance now and I can’t think anymore. Just knowing in my heart I’m grateful for lots more things makes me happy. 

 

Sending hugs to all🤗🤗🤗

[hayduke]

Hey Carmie, sorry you're having a hard time.  It's remarkable what a difference a miniscule cut can make, I've lost count of the hard days from those.  But it's heartening that it always evens out given enough time, and each one is progress, even if some of them put up a fight for a bit.  We'll always power through.  I hope you're feeling better soon!

 

Hanging out with friends is the best.

 

The stir fry sounds good.  I'm buggered from non stop unpacking and went to order a pizza but was told 75 mins!  So I cooked a basic but tasty chicken cacciatore instead and feel better than I would after a pizza no matter how tasty.

 

*hugs*

[bheb]

On 7/28/2019 at 6:06 AM, Carmie said:

Bheb, yes I think a gratitude list is a great thing to do despite the pain we all go through. It’s important to still see the things that being us happiness despite the pain. I know you struggle a lot with akathisia. Does it ease at all for you? My heart really goes out to you, because of all the symptoms one can get in withdrawals akathisia tops them all.

 

It's pretty constant, just at varying degrees. I think I have a relatively "mild" case but yet it's still very distressing at any level. I can't imagine a worse feeling...though I am grateful I don't have other WD symptoms on top. 

 

Sorry to hear about the consuming life stress. But sounds like you've also had some good social moments here and there.

 

bheb

[Rabe]

On 7/28/2019 at 5:06 AM, Carmie said:

I’m not on this site very much lately as I’m dealing with a lot of stuff in my life and I’m too sick to spread the little bit of energy I have, but I really hope you are all coping as best you can. 

Just wanted you to know I am thinking about you Carmie...take care of you!!!💜

[India]

Carmie, Do you watch Poldark?

[India]

On 7/19/2019 at 10:51 AM, hayduke said:

Hey Carmie, glad to hear your latest cut is going well.  Great you've been able to get out to see so much brain food, that all sounds great!  Good art is astoundingly stimulating.

 

@India I've read some of Laing and Foucault, both very interesting characters.  Will add Szasz to the tsundoku pile.  I found he was interviewed on ABC radio here not that long ago, I'll tune that podcast in one arvo at work.

 

On that note, as I've got further into my taper, I suddenly seem to be enjoying podcasts!  Go go frontal lobe.

 

Cheers

@haydukeI love that! “Go,go frontal lobe”. 

Let me know your thoughts. Adam Curtis “The Trap” on YouTube is a watch.. talks about antidepressants in context of Game Theory by J. NASH.

Years back I read , “Madness: A very short introduction “. It’s pretty heavy subject matter  but a succinct historical survey of the “mind doctors” ..

 

[Carmie]

On 7/28/2019 at 9:29 PM, hayduke said:

Hey Carmie, sorry you're having a hard time.  It's remarkable what a difference a miniscule cut can make, I've lost count of the hard days from those.  But it's heartening that it always evens out given enough time, and each one is progress, even if some of them put up a fight for a bit.  We'll always power through.  I hope you're feeling better soon!

 

Hanging out with friends is the best.

 

The stir fry sounds good.  I'm buggered from non stop unpacking and went to order a pizza but was told 75 mins!  So I cooked a basic but tasty chicken cacciatore instead and feel better than I would after a pizza no matter how tasty.

 

*hugs*

 

On 7/30/2019 at 6:57 AM, bheb said:

 

It's pretty constant, just at varying degrees. I think I have a relatively "mild" case but yet it's still very distressing at any level. I can't imagine a worse feeling...though I am grateful I don't have other WD symptoms on top. 

 

Sorry to hear about the consuming life stress. But sounds like you've also had some good social moments here and there.

 

bheb

 

On 8/1/2019 at 8:24 AM, India said:

Carmie, Do you watch Poldark?

 

On 7/30/2019 at 3:57 PM, Rabe said:

Just wanted you to know I am thinking about you Carmie...take care of you!!!💜

 

Hi guys, 

 

Thanks so much for popping over to my thread. I’m not on this site much lately as I have soooo much going on in my life at the moment, I have a lot to deal with but that’s life. I try to make the best out of whatever situation I’m in. I don’t have a lot of energy mentally, physically or emotionally because of my illness so I’m using it to do things that help me to keep coping with life. 

 

Today I’ve been going through quite a lot of waves, but I’m coping okay. I have lots of distractions in place. 

 

Hayduke, Yes, it certainly is amazing how teeny drops in tapering can affect us so much. I’ve been on and off so many meds though that it’s totally messed up my brain, I feel everything. That being said though, today is day twenty since my last drop and bad waves have only started today. I’m happy about that. With my last drop the bad waves started around the same time and they lasted about ten days or a bit more. I’ve had some waves before today but they weren’t anything major. A lot of the time in the past the bad waves hit on day five, but with the last few tapers it’s taken a lot longer for the bad waves to hit. Yay!

 

Yes, hanging out with friends is definitely the best. I try and do as much of that as I can. 

 

Bheb, I’m so sorry you’re continuing to struggle with akathisia even though it’s been bearable. Again, I have to say it really is the worst symptom ever. I’m glad your other withdrawal symptoms are okay. 

 

India, Yes I love Poldark, I have it on DVD. I also love the old Poldark series that was made in the 70’s or so, I have that on DVD too. I’ve read the first Poldark book, I must get the others too. 

 

Rabe, Thank you so much for thinking of me. You are always such an encouragement to different ones on this site. Thank you so much again. 

 

Okay, here goes my gratitude list again: 

1. Caught up with two friends on Thursday and we went to a cafe and we all had a good heart to heart.

2. One friend had to leave before lunch but I went with the other one to a different cafe for lunch. We had the yummiest gluten free meals, one was smoked salmon and one was lamb. We went halves so we could have a taste of each. 

3. I’ve said this a million times but I loooove my friends. 

4. Been invited to a farewell party tomorrow evening for friends that are going to Turkey for a while.

5. I finished a number of diamond paintings lately, my bedroom wall is nearly full. 

6. Netflix, I’m going to watch a movie in a second.

7. I just had a yummy chicken curry for dinner. 

8. I won’t go into details but something I’ve been waiting for finally came to fruition. Yay!

9. One of my friends got us tickets to the ballet. It’s Romeo and Juliet. It’s in a month or so and I’m excited. I’ve been to a few ballets but my friend has never been and she’s really excited, so I’m really excited for her. Going to the theatre and concerts is just second nature to me. She’s been wanting to go to a ballet since she was a kid but she never had anyone to go with. I’m in!

10. I love sparkling mineral water. 

 

There you go, another gratitude list. Bye for now, sending hugs🤗

[Rosetta]

I'm sorry you have stressful issues going on.  Hang in there! -R

[Carmie]

On 8/5/2019 at 4:00 AM, Rosetta said:

I'm sorry you have stressful issues going on.  Hang in there! -R

 

Hi Rosetta, 

 

Thanks so much for dropping by. Yes, I’m struggling with a lot at the moment. I seem to be on the verge of tears a lot. I am going through waves now too which always makes everything seem even worse. I’m not sure how long it will be to stabilse again from this last drop but today is day 25 since I dropped from 6.75mg to 6.50 mg. 

 

I can still see lots of things to be grateful for but my brain fog is so bad at the moment that I can’t think enough to write them down. 

 

Hope you’re coping as best you can, sending hugs your way🤗

[JackieDecides]

1 hour ago, Carmie said:

I can still see lots of things to be grateful for but my brain fog is so bad at the moment that I can’t think enough to write them down. 

 

you are doing well just to post this much, sound like. 

 

sending you love and warm thoughts! ❤️  you know things will get better.

[direstraits]

I'm so sorry Carmie.

praying you get relief soon.🙏❤️

big hugs,ds

[eymen23]

Great to see an update from you Carmie, I had been thinking of you in the last couple of days. I enjoyed reading the list of things you are grateful for. 

 

I hope things settle down soon in both your personal life and this wave. 🙏 

[Rabe]

Im sorry that you are dealing with so much Carmie!  I'll make your list...grateful for you and your courage and inspiration!!  Love and hugs to you!  Continue to Take care of you!!💜

[Carmie]

Hi @JackieDecides @direstraits @eymen23 @Rabe

 

Thanks for dropping by and for your lovely messages. How are you all faring today? Today is day 29 since the last drop. I’m still going through waves and I’m mainly bedbound but have been keeping my chin up.

 

Last time I tapered on day 39. I always listen to my body and even if I’ve stabilised I still wait until at least five and a half weeks before I taper again. It worked well for me this last drop, I had mainly windows for the first three weeks after the taper. One never knows what will happen with each taper though, so we can only take a day at a time.

 

Okay, onto my gratitude list, I haven’t written one in a while, though I have lots of things to be grateful for. Here goes:

 

1. I’m in my cosy bed with the heater on. I just ordered another weighted blanket, a better quality one. The filling of my last one has mainly moved and bunched on the edges of the blanket. I can fix it with lots of sewing but don’t have the concentration or strength at the moment. This new one has smaller even dividers and is softer and of better quality. Later on when I fix my other one I can put it on top of my new one for those times I feel like extra weight. 

 

2. I went to a farewell party for friends that went over to Turkey. I was a lovely night outdoors in a friend’s backyard. There was lots of yummy food and a great atmosphere with a fire pit, fairy lights etc etc. I’m all for atmosphere.

 

3. Caught up with a couple of friends the other day and we all had heart to hearts. I love deep and meaningful conversations. The three of us had morning tea together, then one of my friends had to leave so I went to lunch with the other friend. It was a delightful day.

 

4. Had the most delicious lunch that day. We both got a different plate and shared them. One had smoked salmon on it and the other was lamb. Yummy!

 

5. Chilled out with Netflix last night. Also been watching DVDs. Movies and TV shows are always a great distraction when going through waves even if you can’t concentrate a lot. 

 

6. I’m continuing to do diamond paintings. Have finished a few more and I’ve run out of them. I’ve ordered a heap more. I must make sure I always have heaps of them. Time to stock up again. They are such a fabulous distraction when going through waves. 

 

7. I managed to run some errands lately which really needed doing. I’ve still got more to go but I’m slowly getting there. Yay!!

 

8. A friend of mine who came back from holiday in Athens bought me back a present. Awwwww! It’s so nice to be thought of.

 

9. Have plans at the end of the month with two friends. We are going to chill, eat Thai food and chat. I love Thai, I’m particularly fond of Tom Yum soup. It’s definitely yum!

 

10. Looking forward to the ballet on the last day of the month. It’s a production of Romeo and Juliet. The friend I’m going with has never gone to a ballet, or the theatre I think, so she’s very excited. I’m excited she’s excited.

 

Well, there’s another gratitude list. I can barely move today but I have to run one really important errand. It’s a must, so I have to somehow force myself out of bed, I haven’t managed it as yet. I’ve still got an hour and a half before I have to leave. I’ll just go straight back to bed and crash when I’m finished. 

 

Take care everyone, sending big hugs🤗