Jarred: anxiety, PTSD, panic disorder, Paxil

[Jarred]

Hi, 

 

I'm a 29 year old male who suffered from anxiety since 2013.

 

I suffered a traumatic experience as an 18 year old back in 2006 but had no anxiety or panic for 8 years following??

 

Back in 2013 I had a panic attack in a shopping centre, heart palpitation which lead to sweaty hands, a metallic taste in my mouth and then the impending doom and tight chest.. It was my first experience of a Panic Attack and it was horrible.

 

About 2 weeks late it happened again, and this lead me to become Agoraphobic which ultimately led to me losing my job.

 

I was now feeling physical symptoms of fatigue, nausea, IBS and many more anxiety symptoms and was subsequently given 20mg of Paxil (Paroxetine) from my GP. (I wish I found this site before I ever started).

 

I took this and after 3-4 weeks, I felt like I was getting my life back again.

I had used this SSRI from early 2014 until around October 2017 and never suffered a panic attack in that time and thought to myself I was better and doing well.

 

I wanted to come off, so I went from 20mg to 10mg to 5mg and then every second day (which I now know was the wrong way to taper) but eventually got off in October last year.

 

I was doing great off the medication, few early symptoms but nothing crazy, until March this year (5 months) and then BANG!!! I got hit with all the same + new crippling anxiety symptoms I never had the first time, shortness of breath, extreme extreme fatigue, body pains and aches, flushing of the face, nausea, headaches, lack of appetite, weird flutters in the chest and butterflies in the stomach, abdomanal pain, lump in the throat, constant cough and trouble swallowing, constant negative thoughts that I was going to have a heart attack, thoughts I just could not stop thinking!! I even get a really weird feeling on my left side under my ribs when my intestines are, I think to myself that's probably where the serotonin is trying to be made but isnt working???

 

I tried eating completely healthy, no sugar, no caffeine, fish 3 times a week, lean grass fed beef once a week, natural herbal teas and vitamins, CBT but I just couldn't shake off how bad it was getting!

 

I have been to the hospital 3 times for blood tests, scans, the works, each time finding no problem, they say it's my anxiety and panic disorder.

 

I decided last week after 2 months of hell to go back on the paxil to stabilise otherwise my next step was into a psych ward. Early this week I was at an all time high with my anxiety and panic and thought this was it. I was so on edge and tense, so I was also prescribed Ativan, I took 1mg and it eased the tension straight away. I haven't wanted to touch it again because I don't want to get hooked to this drug luckily I found info and withdrawal difficulty online in time otherwise I would be poisoning my brain with another drug.

 

6 days into my second round of paxil, I'm feeling a little better. Im still having mild anxiety at various stages throughout the day, weather it's a negative thought for an hour, or stomach pain, or nausea but I feel stabilised.

 

Im not sure if I've had a delayed withdrawal from the paxil or if it's a relapse of my old self because not even back in 2013 when I was suffering like this did I get symptoms this bad! 

 

I need to get better. I have never felt so stressed, tense, sick and detached. My partner is pregnant and I can't be stressing her out and I need to be healthy here for baby #2.

 

I want to get off this drug, but I think I need some time to get better first.

 

- Generalised Anxiety

- Health Anxiety 

- PTSD

- Agoraphobia 

- Panic Disorder

 

Look forward to chatting

 

[Songbird]

Hi Jarred, welcome to SA!  While it is possible to have a relapse of original symptoms after coming off an anti-depressant, with the severity and all the extra symptoms you've been having it definitely sounds like withdrawal.  Many doctors will call it relapse because they don't understand AD withdrawal.

 

It would be helpful if you could create a signature with your med history, including all drugs, doses and dates (starting and stopping).  You can edit your signature under your Account Settings.  See this topic for more info: Please put your withdrawal history in your signature

 

What dose of Paxil have you reinstated?  Reinstatement tends to work better when done sooner, rather than after many months, but if it has helped you begin to stabilise already it sounds like you have been lucky.  Please see this topic for more information about reinstating:  about reinstating and stabilizing to reduce withdrawal symptoms.  

There are non-med ways of managing anxiety and panic attacks you may want to investigate.  For example, Dr. Claire Weekes wrote a number of books and produced some audio recordings about dealing with anxiety and panic attacks that many people have found very helpful.  For more information see this topic:  The Dr Claire Weekes method of recovering from a sensitized nervous system. 

 

You are very sensible to be cautious about Ativan, and to wait for a while to get better before starting to taper again.  

[Ryder]

You did the right thing Jarred I’m sure the mods will be here soon to look at your case in question. Don’t panic, you are in good hands.

[Jarred]

Hi Guys,

 

Day 7 of my reinstatement of Paxil and gee it’s been a rollercoaster week.

 

I feel as though my panic and anxiety is already being blanketed/fixed a little but that’s the only good I’ve had from the past week.

 

My days are constant waves of emotions.

 

I’ve lost my appetite, have felt nauseas at various stages through the day, last night for the first time I woke up drenched in sweat, I’m only sleeping in 2 hour intervals, not talking or have no emotion towards happy thoughts and feel really detached and not myself.

 

I have been reinstated on 20mg and I’m certain the Paxil is doing this to me. 

 

Shiuld i wait it out, is it too early to give up or should I stop?

 

GP has no idea has just wanted me to take Ativan as well!!

 

my original problem was anxiety and panic, feeling stuck in fight or flight mode, now I feel more like it’s detaching my mind.

[Songbird]

Hi Jarred, please can you create a signature with your med history, including all drugs, doses and dates (starting and stopping).  The signature helps us to see a summary of your situation without having to read your whole story in your first post every time.  You could look at my signature for an example.  You can edit your signature under your Account Settings.  See this topic for more info: Please put your withdrawal history in your signature

 

Did you read the topic about reinstating?  You've reinstated at quite a high dose, it's possible that dose may be a lot for your system to handle after being off for months.  I will consult the other mods and reply to you here.

 

"Rollercoaster" and "waves of emotions" are to be expected, you may need to ride them for a while.  See:  the windows and waves pattern of stabilization

 

[Altostrata]

Welcome, Jarred.

 

Have the side effects from Paxil gotten better or worse over the last 7 days?

[direstraits]

Hi Jarred,

I thought I would respond on your thread here.

sorry you've been a victim of Paxil,too.it's a horrible drug.

I guess I've always been an anxious person but it was nothing compared to PaxilWD!

when in a wave I feel anxious,weak,shaky inside,agitated,dark thoughts...etc.

I often have burning skin on feet and back.

I think I'm seeing more improvement lately....I hope it continues.

 

I'm a lot older than you so hopefully you 'll recover soon.

I hope your reinstatement works out....listen to the mods,they know what they're doing.

take good care,ds

 

[Jarred]

Today has probably been the best day I’ve had in the past 10. Slight nausea, night sweats last night, little lack of appitite and slight edginess and tense however no cognitive, depressive or mental issues which have been really tough the last week

[Altostrata]

That's a good sign, Jarred. How are you doing now?

[Carmie]

Hi Jarred, 

 

How are you doing?💚