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Elyssa143

Elyssa143: Zoloft to Zyprexa

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Elyssa143

I took zoloft for 16 months came off in march with a way too fast taper. Tried to reinstate and things never got better. Was having bad suicidal ideations that led me to the pysch ward, they upped my zoloft, added buspar and trazadone. My thoughts got way worse and was having internal urges to harm myself. Went back in they yanked me off and put me on zyprexa 5mg. Thoughts got a tad better not a huge difference. Came home, pysch weaned me off put me on lamictal, i got the life threatening rash had to quit cold turkey, restarted zyprexa, on it for 8 days started a slow taper. Now im down to 2.8mg tonight and working on weaning off. But my slow taper is going to take quite a long time to come off. It was making me severely depressed. My mood has improved some since tapering. Any ideas or suggestions? Im doing 10% every two days. But I want to speed it up as I havent been on it long qnd with my slow taper I wont be off until end of July. Thank you!

 

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Altostrata

Welcome, Elyssa.

 

I moved your post here to start your Introductions topic. This is your topic to ask questions about your particular situation and journal your progress.

 

What amount of Zoloft did you try to reinstate? When was that?

 

How long were you off Zyprexa before this last round of Zyprexa, started 8 days ago? That would be the time you were on lamotrigine. What was the lamotrigine dosage?

 

Are you using Zyprexa liquid to taper?

 

To help us out, see these instructions Please put your drug and withdrawal history in your signature

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Elyssa143

I am very sorry I never saw this. I reinstated the zoloft 4 days after a very quick taper back in march. 12.5mg as I was always only on 25mg. It made me worse. I was on zyprexa 10 days then tapered to lamictal 25mg got a life threatening rash went back on the zyprexa for 10 days and tapered over 5 weeks. Ive been on zoloft for 13 weeks and zyprexa for 3 weeks. Im in hell, ive been in hell. The depression is horrible so are rhe suicidal ideations.  I was extremely hopeless on the zyprexa as well. I eat really well too. Is there hope for me to feel better? I do get days where the depression isnt as crushing, is this a good thing?

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Elyssa143

Ill give a little background. 

I had never ever been on meds in my life before I had my son in 2009. I was in a very abusive relationship and ended up with severe postpartum after I had severe Eclampsia. 3 months after my son was born I had my first panic attack, scared to death I went to the ER, of course not knowing any better and they gave me ativan. 1mg 3x a day. Within a few days I was hooked, it wasnt really doing anything for my panic attack because I believe postpartum is a hormonal imbalance. After some research I learned benzos were addictive and I quit cold turkey after a month or so. I had no idea about the dangers. I went right into withdrawl. The next 3 years were hell. During this time there was alot of stressful life circumstances, my childs father left, I moved back home, I had another severely abusive relationship it didnt last long though once it started, and I watched my mom die from cancer. The withdrawls were hell. Once my mom passed away I wanted to be able to live again and drive without the constant anxiety, mind you I ate well and did alot of testing and such for underlying issues. I had no idea that it was benzo withdrawl I chalked it all up to postpartum. I ended up going on 50 mg of zoloft and I was able to slowly get my life back but it came with side effects. I bought everything, it caused me to spend money like crazy, I was constantly irritated and angry as well. My pysch then added lamictal and after a few months I wanted off of everything I hated the idea of being on meds. I got off fine with no issues, the next 2.5 years were great.

 

Until December of 2016 I had another panic attack, I wasnt taking care of myself in a sense of eating right and being stress free. I was always involved in some stress. So January 2017 I went back on zoloft but this time at 25mg, it worked the first few months but then everything started to crash. I had no libido,  i was gaining weight, i was irritated and angry all the time, i had anhedonia, no pleasure in anything. Always tired and no motivation.  I often would ask my fiance to take the guns out of the house and I dont know why. I also became obsessive about things too. My anxiety was more on the medicine than off! I wanted off I wanted to be a better mom, fiance and person. I wanted a better life, I wanted to learn to take care of myself, eat right, exercise and find the underlying cause to my anxiety. So at the end of February I spoke to my pysch and she said to taper over 2 weeks, I added an extra week and by March 9, my last piece the hell began! I started getting suicidal ideations, it scared me. I found the group on fb Zoloft should be Illegal and I reinstated to 12.5 mg. Things never stabilized I got worse. 3 weeks later I ended up in the pysch ward. I was scared, I wasnt sure what was going on, I had no idea you could get withdrawals from antidepressants, if I did I would have never went on them again. Especially after benzo withdrawl, but I had no idea that it was withdrawl until now, I chalked up my benzo withdrawl to postpartum. I swore I could never go through this again and here I am going through it again. In the pysch ward they upped my zoloft to 50mg, added buspar and trazadone as I wasnt sleeping. They told me it would fix me, that It was my original problem coming back and I needed to be on the meds, I was so scared I believed them. I only took the trazadone once, the buspar a few times as deep inside I hated being on meds. I knew better. But I was terrified, all I could think about was the 3 years of my life I lost previously to something Similar and I couldnt do it again. So 6 days later I was back in the pysch ward with severe mental Akathisia (urges to jump out of the car, off the bridge, run into traffic) and homocidal ideations and suicidal ideations. I was terrified.  They ct me off zoloft and buspar and put me on zyprexa. It didnt help much, when I went home my pysch tapered me to lamictal after 10 days of being on the zyprexa, I took the lamictal for 14 days and developed the life threatening rash and had to quit so instead of being on nothing I went back to the zyprexa for 10 days and tapered 5mg over 5 weeks. The zyprexa was hell, made me extremely hopeless, suicidal, it was hell. But I was already in hell. I needed off of everything. Today im almost 15 weeks off zoloft and almost 5 weeks off zyprexa. Its hell, the depression is soul crushing. Ive never had depression or experienced something so dark. Its suffocating and drowning. I feel as if I wont make it out. I have a family I need to be here for. The suicidal ideations have gotten a bit better, also the extreme dread in the morning. I do have windows where things arent so crushing. My appetite is slowly coming back, and I sleep about 4-5 hours at night broken. Im learning to cope and ride the waves its very scary and terrifying. I have great support. I literally fight moment to moment right now. Some days Im able to get up and do the dishes and laundry and thats an accomplishment! Im really praying things continue to gradually get better. I eat no gluten, grains, dairy,sugar or caffine.  Ive also switched all my body products to natural to help lighten the toxic load. Id love to hear from some people. Im very scared of things getting worse as I dont know how Id handle it. Im very scared I wont make it out as it is. Suicide is terrifying for me as well. Thank you for listening. I really hope to hear back as I could use all the positivity as I can. 💓

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jozeff

Wow thank you for your story. I'm very sorry for you that you had to go through all of this. It's unbelievable that your psychiatrist advised you to stop taking the medication in a period of two weeks. I was advised 20 years ago by my father to taper slowly of venlafaxine because he googled (or some old search engine back then...) some stuff and there was some advise on tapering. I mean, a professional should know this by now. It's 2018 and a lot of knowledge is available. 

I hope that this community can provide some help and thoughts. There will be some reactions soon I think. I wish you all the best in your recovery. I'm tapering celexa right now and I'm very glad I found this site. I went from 24 mg to 18 a few months ago and I felt absolutely horrible. These medicines are very powerful....

Good luck and look forward to your recovery stories!

 

Jozeff

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Elyssa143

@jozeff thank you so much for your response.  :) I hope your taper continues to go well. Ive been in hell and im praying it continues to improve a bit from here on out. I dont know what Ill do if it gets worse :(. I agree, these are very powerful drugs and the doctors should know better by now. 

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jozeff

You're welcome! You know, we need each other in difficult times. Have been on this website for only 3 weeks and I have a 20 yr history of antidepressants. My parents took them, my 2 uncles and 1 aunt have been on venlafaxine for 15+ years. My wife has sertraline 50 mg. I live in the Netherlands and over 1.3 million people have antidepressants. That is 1 in 5 adults! Something must be wrong in society....I went to the doctor after some issues with citalopram 20 mg. It didn't work as good as it used to and I lost libido big time, was tired, nausea sometime.. The doctor thought for 5 seconds and wanted me on 30 mg. I didn't take  30 eventually because the 20 mg gavee all this trouble. At home I thought, he didn't ask me about food, sleep, work, relationship, sports, supplements etc. These are all very important factors but they point at the prescription within seconds. 

 

You have an incredible story with all hat trouble and different medications. I have hope for you! I think all these fluctuations in medication did more harm then good. There will be some good advice coming your way very soon. I'd rather listen to these people then to a doctor to be honest. I'm a chemist myself but I didn't know s..t about all these substances. I learned a lot in three weeks. Be careful with YouTube btw. There are amazing videos about everything but there are also a lot and I mean a lot of people who use depression/anxiety to sell there supplements. Have been watching those for a year and it's amazing how some 'doctors' have THE cure for depression and it costs only 40$ per month on supplements.... Be warned. Don't take too many things at the same time. I take some mineral salts and fish oil and I have been eating spinach, kale, bananas, nuts, Olive oil cottage cheese and green tea and I feel pretty calm most of the time. When I eat lots of chips, bread, sweets etc I have more restlessness and anxiety. 

 

Good luck and stay calm!!!

 

 

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Rosetta

Hi Elyssa,

 

I'm sorry that I can help you very much right now.  Just know that if you made it through benzo WD you can make it through this.  It's the same thing, and it will heal.  I'm glad to hear you have support at home.

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Elyssa143

@jozeff

Yes we do need each other in a time like this. It is very very scary. I would never touch another pysch med in my life. Are you trying to get off? I hope others have some advice for me soon. 

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Elyssa143

@Rosetta dont be sorry, thank you for commenting. I sure hope so this is very scary! I hope your having a better day and look forward to hearing back from you! Thank you

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RusTW

Elyssa143    Hello- I feel for ya.I CT from Ativan 1mg after taking it for 3 weeks bad mistake.I was so sick mentally and physically for the week I was off.I had to go to the ER I was so bad.I reinstated the 1mg and tapered over 2 months still w/d symptoms for a few weeks.I was put on zyprexa 10 mg for insomnia for months.then doc switched to seroquel 200-300 mg per night without tapering the Zyprexa . 3 weeks I stopped CT.It took 3 weeks for W/D to hit. When it did I was very itchy all over I had nausea and really bad anxiety I didn't know what was happening to me for a few days and then I looked up Seroquel withdrawals and figured it out. During this time I was also on Zoloft 125mg. So I reinstated a hundred mg of Seroquel fired my psych doctor and here I am a few months out still sick. I've tapered down to 50 mg of Seroquel and 50 mg of Zoloft to this point. I'm going to hold here for quite a while until I stabilize. I still get nausea anxiety and some other symptoms but it's not as bad as it was in the beginning when it first started I was nauseated 24 hours a day and now I get Windows from my some of my symptoms. I can relate with you because I'm on the same medications you were on. I've read that Zyprexa the antipsychotic hits a lot more receptors then other antipsychotics. Harder to withdrawal from. Hang in there I know it gets better. I have to stay over a short period of time that I've been withdrawing I do get better Windows now. I do still have some scary moments but I'm finding out that exercise and eating right and staying busy really helps out.

 

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Elyssa143

@Rosetta dont be sorry, thank you for commenting. I sure hope so this is very scary! I hope your having a better day and look forward to hearing back from you! Thank you

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Elyssa143

@RusTW hey! Thanks so much for commenting.  Boy is this scary! How long have you been on zoloft? How long were u on the zyprexa? I was on 25mg of zoloft for 13 months before tapering too quickly, then ended up in the pysch ward. The zyprexa i was on really only 10days and tapered. Tuesday itll be 5 weeks off the zyprexa and almost 4 months off the zoloft. Ill never look back. The depression and SI is horribly scary :/. I do hope that continues to gradually get better. I hope you stabalize as well and are able to continue your taper. 

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RusTW

June 2017 to April 2018 - zyprexa 10mg - Dec 2017 to present zoloft started at 125 mg no step up now at 50mg. What is SI

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RusTW

 are you currently working. Why in the world would they switch you from an antidepressant to antipsychotic was that just to calm you down. Zyprexa was prescribed to me for insomnia at 2 or 300 mg which is way too much. I was on the Zoloft during the day and Zyprexa at night

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Elyssa143

@RusTW I raise french bulldogs and im currently not able to right now. But things seem to be getting slowly better, im praying so anyway. Well when I tapered too quickly on the zoloft per my pysch I got suicidal ideations and reinstated on the zoloft and things got worse went to the pysch ward they upped it to 50mg and added buspar, got 100x worse ended up having homocidal ideations caused from the meds they ct me and put my on zyprexa thinking it was pyschotic thoughts? Ive never had any issues my whole life except anxiety so when they raised the dose and added another med i got really bad i also got Akathisia really bad. But the zyprexa didnt help it made me worse and i tapered. Although it helped me sleep lol

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RusTW

 do you think that taking the Zoloft added to your anxiety and caused more problems to start with. I'm suspecting some people when they take it it has an adverse reaction and they act it actually amplifies what they're already feeling so if you have OCD anxiety depression it just makes it worse. I'm noticing lately when I take my Zoloft in the afternoons I'm super sweating in my armpits for about 2 or 3 hours when I go to work. It definitely amps me up. I had some OCD like Behavior last year while I was taking it I had Superbad crippling health anxiety where I thought I was dying and I didn't know what was wrong with me and now I'm starting to think the whole time it was just an adverse reaction from the psych meds and withdrawing

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RusTW

 from what it from what it sounds like to me the cocktail of drugs they gave you 3 off balance a bit. I'm not expecting it but I'm preparing for being in the Long Haul of this journey. If it ends soon great if it doesn't I have to deal with it I have to work everyday so I can eat and live so I don't have a choice and I'm not going to go to the hospital or any more doctors because they don't do crap for you. In the beginning when all of this was happening I was so terrified I didn't know if I should go to the ER go commit myself but I held strong everyday and then I found the site and it's really helped me out quite a bit. Everyone on here so thoughtful and caring

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RusTW

 how is your window and wave pattern. How often does it happen that you get Windows and waves

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Elyssa143

@RusTW i had alot of side effects from the zoloft. When i was on it 4 years ago it made me moody, angry and buy a ton of stuff i didnt need. This time i had increased anxiety, ocd, intrusive thoughts, frequently asked my fiance to take the guns out of the house, loss of libido,  no motivation, anhedonia. Lots of side effects. My windows and wave pattern just recently started. I dont know how often it shifts but its definitely been better since when I first came off the zyprexa. Im 5 weeks off now. The waves seem to be getting a tad less intense and last not as long. And with the windows im able to think a bit more clearly and get some stuff done hope your doing well today. Im heading back into a wavem

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RusTW

i think the zoloft is amping me up too much now..im also having ocd thinking with agitation.my windows are shorter now.anxiety is worse.im getting more nausea at night now.it used to hit me in the morning.im not sleeping good,sweating heavy after about a hour after taking the zoloft in the afternoon.im glad your getting windows.

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RusTW

hope this is short lived for you.thank god you didnt keep taking the zyprexa.

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Elyssa143

@RusTW ya the zoloft was definitely having adverse affects on me. And thank goodness i got off the zyprexa im pretty sure that withdrawl is contributing to my severe depression and im hoping the longer im off of it my brain balances back out. How long have u been on it? What mg? Hope your doing better 

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RusTW

I've been on them since last year Seroquel 50 mg now and Zoloft 50 mg now I've taper down from 2 or 300 mg of Seroquel and I've also taper down from 125 mg of Zoloft. My windows are frequent some will last a few hours to a few days. The waves are pretty scary though they hit hard. Very intense

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Elyssa143

@RusTW I definitely understand I do get some times where its not as intense. But the waves sure knock me on my ass. The depression is absolute despair.  I do have a few improvements.  I am scared that the zyprexa had made this depression so much worse :( todtoday is 5 weeks off, im truly hoping because i wasnt on it long and tapered. That the longer im off of it the better i get? 

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RusTW

I think the zoloft is just as bad as zyprexa.you may be experiencing more W/D from the zoloft ct.you were on zyprexa for a short time plus u tapered it. HOPEFULLYyou are not being affected by it.its hard to tell .we were on more than 1 med.did u ever get nausea during w/d.

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RusTW

how long are your windows. what are they like.we might b lucky because of our short time on them compared to others. plus you were on low dose of zoloft.

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Elyssa143

@RusTW im sure it is more from the zoloft. I was only on 25mg for 13months im hoping that it helps with this withdrawl but i dont know. Im just glad i wasnt polydrugged for 20 years and im young still, im hoping this is the best decision of my life. My windows are not where i feel great or like myself but the depression isnt as deep or the SI and I can get stuff done. Im still pretty housebound. But I walked on the treadmill today and actually craved being outside in the sun :) and when the windows happen i feel like i get a tiny pieve of myself back? Does that make sense

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RusTW

Glad your getting windows.Yes it makes sense.sometimes during the day i feel like its 2 of me.W/D me and my real self back and forth sometimes all day.then a wave reminds me the w/d are sticking around.i once had a 8 day window almost symptom free.now the windows are shorter sometimes with symptoms.

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Elyssa143

@RusTW im very scared of things getting worse, i dont think i can handle this depression getting worse. The reason I thought the zyprexa was because it made me severely depressed and hopless on it and then coming off severe depression. This is so dark and scary :( im barely functioning. But i am greatful that it does seem to be getting gradually a bit better? My SI is better too. You are still on meds yes?

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RusTW

i get worried about getting worse too.i have improved in some ways also.in the begining i was so nauseated it really affected me.i think us already going thru so much we can manage anything now.we have better coping skills.its just the unknown that scares us. our curiosity.yes im still on both meds holding for a while.50 mg each

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RusTW

i think the zyprexa amplified your w/d from zoloft.zyprexa is a brake drug and zoloft is activating.i think the brake drug caused amplified depression and si.zyprexa shuts your brain down.

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RusTW

im hoping this passes soon for you.

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Elyssa143

@RusTW i feel like i really screwed up going to the pysch ward but i had no choice at the time. I guess i have to be greatful i wasnt on the zyprexa long. Do u think its going to be this bad for long? I wasnt on it long? It seems as the weeks go on further out from the zyprexa it gets a bit more bearable. I see so many people suffering so far out its so scary:( i have a family i feel like im letting them down. I could manage if it was so crushing. I have to think im healing with the fact that i am having some improvements? I hope you heal soon as well💓💓💓

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RusTW

in my opinion the zyprexa gave u a bad trip or may have altered the w/d a little.Ithink your w/d are mostly zoloft.many years back my girlfriend at the time told me zoloft was making her crazy.i believe it now.i think your healing also.keep it up. get some sun.your on course

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Elyssa143

@RusTW oh i believe it too. **** made me crazy with a ton of side effects. I think it altered my withdrawl as well. Im just hoping not by too much qs the depression is already suicidal at some points and very dark. I dont have that constant feeling of dread upon waking anynore so thats a good thing! But i literally cope just to make it through the day. I hope im healing! It has to be happening right? Thank you!!!

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