☼ Elyssa143: Zoloft to Zyprexa

[Elyssa143]

@jonnypeters1234567 how r u doing 

[Rosetta]

1 hour ago, Elyssa143 said:

@RusTW @Rosetta thank you guys very much. Today is tolerable. I have a ton of looping thoughts. I'm terrified absolutely terrified of making an irreversible decision in a bad time. How do Imake sure that never happens? How can I make sure I make it out of this alive? I'm very scared. I dont want to die. But during the bad times it seems reasonable although I've never tried and dont want to but during a wave is a whole other story. If that makes sense? Hope you both are doing ok. 

 

This makes sense according to my experience.  It's as if you are afraid of yourself!!  As that is in the past for me, I can analyze it a bit, and I think it's a form of OCD, quite frankly.  With perspective, I see that obsessing over the SI was my brain's attempt to get control over it -- to make it stop.  For what it's worth, I think you are perfectly safe from yourself.  You don't want to die.  That's clear.  You have a family, and a responsibility to remain that you can think about in order to distract yourself.  It would take energy and other things you don't have anyway.  

 

I believe that you need a "safety blanket" or several to help yourself feel less at risk.  When you think about how afraid you are of SI, you need to touch something that makes you feel safe.  I suggest that you write a hotline number on a piece of paper and touch it when you feel anxious about SI.  If that doesn't work, I'm sure you will find something - look at a picture of your kids, hold one of their stuffed animals, etc.. Develop some sort of ritual to center you when that fear arises.  Then, breathe -- practice a breathing exercise to try to calm down.  Even if these things don't work keep doing them until they do.  You might look like you have OCD.  So what?!  You probably do, but whatever it takes, right?!

[RusTW]

3 hours ago, Elyssa143 said:

@RusTW @Rosetta thank you guys very much. Today is tolerable. I have a ton of looping thoughts. I'm terrified absolutely terrified of making an irreversible decision in a bad time. How do Imake sure that never happens? How can I make sure I make it out of this alive? I'm very scared. I dont want to die. But during the bad times it seems reasonable although I've never tried and dont want to but during a wave is a whole other story. If that makes sense? Hope you both are doing ok. 

Glad today is better.You will always have to make decisions.You can't stop living.It will build your confidence.Make the decision your going to b ok because you will.Its scary I know .you've made it this far keep truckin along. Zoloft and Zyprexa have a nasty bite while you're on and off them so you'll have to recover from that. You have to make yourself as comfortable as you can during your waves that's the best you can do.

[Elyssa143]

Ok I'm going to try to place my thoughts as well as possible.

I'm trying to work on acceptance, I think that's one of the biggest things in withdrawl.  I think I cant let go of the fact that I'm going through this again when I should have known better after benzo withdrawl, but truly I had no idea antidepressants could do the same thing as benzos. I'm trying to think and understand what's going on as best as possible. I've always been a worrier, always! And I think that turned into panic which caused me to get on the zoloft in the first place. I also know the benzo withdrawl caused me PTSD, so much so that once I was on the zoloft the first time and able to live life I moved forward, never saw another dr again and stopped taking care of myself the way I should have. I regret that now but what I'm going through is opening my eyes to a much bigger world and of course the horrible fear of everything. I'm terrified literally. I'm scared of everything, when I went through the benzo withdrawl I told myself I wouldnt nake it through if I went through that again, but back then I thought it was worsening postpartum so I never had another child because I couldnt go through that again, but going through this now I know it was definitely withdrawal. When a wave comes over me I feel suffocated and with a horrible feeling of  dread. It's horrible. I've been contributing that to depression, but maybe it's more of a severe anxiety, about getting worse, not making it through this, loosing everything I worked so hard for. Because I get up everyday and fight and try, I eat really well, I do my best to distract. But when that feeling overcomes me I feel like I want to die. I hope some of this makes sense. I know I'm rambling but I'm hoping someone could shed some light. I think I'm trying to say I'm starting to realize this is more fear and anxiety and doom vs depression and not wanting to do anything. I'm going to make meditation a bit part of my recovery as well I havent been doing that. I definitely get stuck in the what ifs and negative looping as well. I really cant be positive about anything in the situation. Do you think if I got ahold of the negative looping some of this would dissipate? Thank you for listening. ❤

[Elyssa143]

@Rosetta  thank you so much for responding. I definitely agree with you. I'm starting to wonder if I do havanhedonia but also severe anxiety and worry that's causing the absolute fear and worry. When a wave comes over me it's like a horrible feeling of suffocation and dread. Like I wont nake it and everything will get worse and I'll loose everything. I posted above kind of my feelings maybe you could touch on that? Thank you for being there for me. I hope today is a better day.  

[Elyssa143]

@RusTW thanks for being there for me. Your right. It's just so hard in a wave u forget everything. I'm wondering if I'm suffering more from extreme anxiett and dread about the future and making it through this you know? I'm going to work more on meditating.  Hope u can read my post above. Hope you have a nice day. 

[Elyssa143]

@Rosetta I found this and wanted to see your thoughts. This is where it seems that it's more of an ocd thing.  But the other day I said I wanted to die and that scares me because I dont. But I'm sure it was just because it was a bad day no?

What are some characteristics of suicide obsessions (unwanted suicidal thoughts)?

 

 

• Suicide obsessions tend to be associated with fear about the possibility of acting on suicidal thoughts.
• In some cases, suicide obsessions may be primarily associated with fear about the implications of having suicidal thoughts — e.g., the fear of being bad or sinful, the fear of offending God, the fear of becoming depressed, the fear of developing a severe mental illness, or the fear of having to undergo an involuntary psychiatric hospitalization.
• Suicide obsessions involve unwanted suicidal thoughts, whereas self-harm obsessions involve unwanted thoughts of hurting oneself.
• People who have suicide obsessions do not want to act on their thoughts, or they may be unsure about whether they “really” want to act on their thoughts.
• People with suicide obsessions often feel extremely guilty about their suicidal thoughts.

[jonnypeters1234567]

Im getting hit bad with this Elyssa, espically after akathisia, its like an urge- but passes within a couple of mins, then i feel traumatised by it

[Elyssa143]

@jonnypeters1234567 I had that when I was on the medicine I know what u mean. I'm going to try hard to meditate and work on retraining my brain so the fear doesnt keep the cycyle going. Hope your doing ok!

[RusTW]

Hat timeHi there -Good plan.Deep breathing meditation should help ya.Stick with it.it helps me. It's a good way to get to know your two selves the quiet self and the racy self.

[RusTW]

?How did your day go

[RusTW]

 this wave that's hit me now has extreme racing anxiety.

[Elyssa143]

@RusTW yesterday was fairly good. It was the first day I was by myself in 5 months. The kids went back to school. I got some sleep last night but woke up ruminating about suicide thethe fear of it. The fear of making an irreversible decision. The fear of this going on and getting worse and wanting to give up. I wish it would go away. The way I felt on sunday and saying I wanted to die and wanted to kill myself is so scary. But I didnt want to deep down that was just my frustration.  I'm just terrified and wish it would go away. How are u doing today?

[RusTW]

Hi Elyssa I'm hit hard today. I understand your anxiety that you're having mine [is simular but a little bit different.I got extreme anxiety that is with OCD and confusion. Its from zoloft.You will get better.We have to ride it out.our windows will get better and longer.I just had a 5 day window that was very good.

[RusTW]

How are you?

[RusTW]

 checking in with you to see how you're doing

[Miracle123]

Hi Elyssa143, How are you? Everything fine and smooth for you? Take care.

[ChessieCat]

Hi Elyssa,

 

Could you please update your drug signature with dates?  Thank you.  Account Settings – Create or Edit a signature

 

Back on zyprexa 5mg for 10days & tapered over 5 weeks.

3.5 months off sertraline 

1 month off zyprexa

[Altostrata]

Hi, Elyssa, how are you doing now?

[Elyssa143]

@Altostrata

Hi Alto,

I try to stay off this site as it can be very triggering but I am very greatful for the success stories. I am definitely improving. So scary to say that. It has been absolute hell. Im 17 months in on the 9 of august. I have been completely pharma free since last june 26. I am still getting windows ajd waves which suck :(. Im in a wave now but it is definitely less intense.  I do notice small tiny improvements monthly. I still have the intrusive si, hopelessness/dread, internal restlessness, chemical feelings of wanting to die. But it has been less intense but definitely still very tough and uncomfortable.  But I see healing happening. But of course im still very scared of getting worse or not making it through.  But I have better days where I feel almost healed or back into life. I do understand healing comes for everyone and I have improved so i continue to hold on. Am I correct in thinking things should continue to slowly gradually improve as they have been? Dont get me wrong i still have very hard times. But i am more functional and not coping every minute of everyday. But the mental stuff is still tough. Any input would be so great. Thanks so much💗

[Altostrata]

Yes, improvement is normally very slow and frustrating. Good to hear you can say you're a bit better. Are your symptoms worse at any particular time of day?

 

A lot of people find fish oil and magnesium supplements helpful, see
https://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/36-king-of-supplements-omega-3-fatty-acids-fish-oil/
https://survivingantidepressants.org/topic/15483-magnesium-natures-calcium-channel-blocker/

 

Try a little bit of one at a time to see how it affects you.

 

[Elyssa143]

@Altostrata thank you for your response. Definitely very slow and frustrating but I am greatful I am seeing some improvements. You know I think my pattern changed. Usually it comes on in the evening. But I have it during the day sometimes. Theres no real rhyme or reason to my symptoms at all. Ive always tried to look for a pattern but there isnt one. I also have symptoms everyday but some days are much more manageable. Ill have hours of being symptom free as well. Ive tried both those and they affect my heart in this which sucks :(. I do have a deeper hope that I will fully recover its just so dang scary sometimes. So the fact that I am improving this will continue slowly yes? I can have hope right? Thank you!!!

[manymoretodays]

Hi Elyssa143,

On 8/6/2019 at 3:03 PM, Elyssa143 said:

@Altostrata

Hi Alto,

I try to stay off this site as it can be very triggering but I am very greatful for the success stories. I am definitely improving. So scary to say that. It has been absolute hell. Im 17 months in on the 9 of august. I have been completely pharma free since last june 26. I am still getting windows ajd waves which suck :(. Im in a wave now but it is definitely less intense.  I do notice small tiny improvements monthly. I still have the intrusive si, hopelessness/dread, internal restlessness, chemical feelings of wanting to die. But it has been less intense but definitely still very tough and uncomfortable.  But I see healing happening. But of course im still very scared of getting worse or not making it through.  But I have better days where I feel almost healed or back into life. I do understand healing comes for everyone and I have improved so i continue to hold on. Am I correct in thinking things should continue to slowly gradually improve as they have been? Dont get me wrong i still have very hard times. But i am more functional and not coping every minute of everyday. But the mental stuff is still tough. Any input would be so great. Thanks so much💗

 

And so, as promised, will try to get something hopeful and healing out for you here on your main introduction today.  Happy Labor day?!  An ironic holiday, me thinks.  And I need to labor most days, as it keeps me in balance.  Will try to go a bit easy on my own expectations for getting it all done, in one day, and just do bits towards the whole today.

 

Pharma free since June 26th of 2018?  June to June would be a year, and now......two additional months.........brings us to 14 months medication free.  By 17 months in, are you referring to since you could recognize and validate(to yourself) WD?  And let's see:  If you go to Accounts Settings and then select signature, you should be able to easily add in dates of final doses on the sertraline and zyprexa.

 

I took the liberty too, of going back in your introduction and oh my, so sorry for the losses, and abuses and such........that you mentioned there.  One thing that may help now, and when you feel ready too.....is to begin to find some help........either with lay people, peers if you will, or professionals to start to cope with some of the pre-drug, and while medicated traumas, abuses, or just usual life stresses too.  Have you found any helpful and understanding people in Fla. ?  And it can be really hard, I know.......to talk about your present realities around the medications, when so many feel differently.  It took me awhile.......to venture out, I mean on the ground, and find/form a network of support.  Sometimes, I have to leave out completely, the whole WD thing, when working on having  support people.  And I've also had to accept the reason and season for some too.  Meaning that some supports, even friends, relationships.......just don't last forever........yet for the time spent and all.........I can be really grateful now........for the times when we were closer.  And see the reason why perhaps, that person arrived in my life when they did, or appreciate the beauty of any given relationship when it was.  People do come and go in all our lives I believe.  And sometimes it's just that way.  Not always abrupt endings, in my own experience, sometimes just paths begin to go a different direction, or someone moves, or dies even. 

I don't know that this helps.......I diverge.

 

Main point though.......we all need support and community.

Second point..........I think we all have to deal with some pre-existing stuff, the stuff before we even tried medications, when the time is right for us.  Otherwise, we risk staying really messed up.

 

Okay.......WD.  What has helped me the most.  Almost play acting sometimes, back when it was rough.  Like I would be a monk or monk-ess(?monkey) for a day or a few days......and just delve into study a bit, meditation, spiritual questing.  Or read books.  Hard copy books.  Watch movies.  Not always idly or just for distraction.  So many books and movies do hold some message given with artistic license, and so many really helped me.  I should mention too, that it took awhile, yet I kept trying.........to be able to read again, with my previous speed and understanding, and write, and even communicate half decent with others.

 

Learning to ask for help, when I've needed.  And oh my........that's a tough one for most of us, I think.  I mean I needed help with some practical stuff along the way.  Neighbors, friends, family........I mean most ARE willing to help, if you ask directly for what you need.  Sometimes, I learned that I did not need to ask for help........that sometimes good enough was good enough.......as far as my housekeeping went, or even mothering went(back when my own Sun, was younger and oh, even now).  I didn't have to keep trying to meet some societal and self imposed expectation.

 

To trust, and not be afraid.......that too, will come, it's a process, it is.  Very important to listen to your own wisdom in this regard too or work on having your own wisdom even, fine tuning the intuition and all.  With help of course.......not much of this is done in a vacuum, all by oneself.  I think you/I/anyone can find what we seek for healing and health.  Just keep trying, without too much pressure from yourself to get there completely.

 

So great Elyssa too, that you do take time to notice gradual improvements.  Even though, you still have some very uncomfortable symptoms.

Attitude too, oh my gosh, yes attitude can heal and will heal further.  I mean we all go through the awful, not ourselves, irritable, crabby at some point in this journey.  And those in pain, as I've found, can and do lash out anywhere sometimes.  Heck, I've done it.  So all that mindful stuff can help.......or helped me........to just pause sometimes.........don't open my mouth, don't do anything really.........until I've allowed the crabby it's space too. 

 

And oof, the SI, dread, and all that.  You'll be amazed, there is non-drug coping you can do.......that if continued and practiced, will help.

 

You might be able to tolerate the magnesium, and/or fish oil, even without tolerating them at first.  That's what happened with me.  And then just start with one or the other.......at a small amount first.  How do they effect your heart in this?  What do you mean?

 

Okay......and a lot of what I'm saying I can point or give you links, to topics here, that say the same kind of thing.  Maybe you won't feel triggered if you get familiar with helpful things here?  And with the site in general?    Pick a few members even and just post support on their introductions and a hello there.  I was really shy too......but have found that helping others really helps my own healing too.  I pick up new symptoms every now and then, from too much reading here, a bit of hypochondria I suppose.........so take healthy breaks too.

If you go to the home page:  Just go down the list of forums,  Symptoms and Self Care, Finding Meaning, Off Topic, etc.  Most have top pinned topics that I don't think you'll get triggered by.......it's often in the pinned topics at the top, where many really good other topics are more indexed and linked to even.  You can post on many of the topics too.  And slowly, perhaps feel more comfortable and less triggered here.

And if you feel that something is just too personal for the open airwaves.......by all means use the PM system, and perhaps find a buddy eventually here, or several.

 

And you do have a condition, the WD syndrome.  And it does get better or can and will. 

Okay, enough for today.......I need to go Labor away and get outside.  Nature, sunshine.......don't forget those simple tools.  Add in a little bit of exercise and music too.

((((Elyssa143))))

Love, peace, healing, and growth,

mmt

p.s.  let me know if the lavender color is too much for your eyes.......I can change it.

And I hope to get my own time frame in better perspective, for all, soon, when I post a success story.  Keeping in mind too, that we all vary a bit, of course we do, with our histories, experiences, and bodies, and minds and all.

 

 

 

 

Edited September 2, 2019 by manymoretodays
additional

[Elyssa143]

@manymoretodays 

Hello

thank you so much for responding to me especially in such a lengthy detailed post. I do hope your doing well! I will work on looking around here more often and using some more of the links and such. I am improving and healing things are definitely better even though they are still tough! I am greatful for the success stories and then the ones I saved last year. I have started doing more EFT tapping it seems to help my nervous system a bit and I definitely eat really well. I do meditation and spiritual work. It seems as if the first 12-14 months was pure coping I was out of my mind its been absolute hell. And now I am able to function better but still have the suicidal feelings and thoughts and its very scary for me still as I wish those would go. Because deep down I want nothing more than to make it through this. I read and hear that stuff leaves for alot of people earlier so I worry as to why I still feel like this. Although this isnt my first protracted withdrawal so not sure if thats affecting me either. This month has been the best month yet. But the up and down is very tough. Even though the tough days arent as horrific or long lasting. So I try to be hopeful every month will get a little easier. Seems as though thats how its going for me. I am definitely more functional but the mental makes things really hard and i wish my brain would stop with the suicidal stuff. But maybe ad time goes on that will stop too. Any suggestions for that stuff or hope that it will continue to get better and that will eventually go? I look forward to hearing back. Have a great day

[Sheera]

@Elyssa143 I just read your previous post and I will say I had the suicide thoughts for quite awhile and now for the most part they are not even considered when they come in my mind.  That was very traumatizing for me as well. The only thing that really worked was trying to distract myself with other things. The more I let myself get disturbed by them the bigger they got—like everything in withdrawal I guess.  They will eventually be a thing of the past for you. Just keep holding on!

Sheera  

[Elyssa143]

@Sheera

Thank you so much for coming on my post and commenting with such positive reasurment! I appreciate it. I am overall inproving.  Slowly and painfully. Im functioning much better but i still really struggle and im never symptom free yet. I was hopeful by this time out the suicidal stuff would have been gone but its not. Im trying hard now to work on the fear and not allowing it to grow. The thoughts and feeling of "wanting to die" just scare me so much.  As i dont want to nit make it. So when it comes on it brings alot of fear and anxiety like i cant fully trust myself. I also still struggle with the hopelessness and dread feeling its awful, fear of the future, fear of not making it and being like this forever, internal restlessness and the awful intrusive thoughts. Im also pretty obsessed with withdrawl still im not able tl enjoy or get sucked into to other things yet. Im sure that comes with time. Im glad to see your having much better days. Has it gotten alot better? Like when things get tough your brain doesnt automatically resort to "suicide " although ive never been actually suicidal. But it scares me especially feeling like i cant do it anymore. Maybe we could pm? Hope ur feeling better❣ hugs

[Elyssa143]

 

Hey everyone. Looking for some reassurance! Hope you all are hanging in as well as you can!

 

@Altostrata hope you had a wonderful holiday. I am coming up on 22 months. I do have "easier" times and i am functioning better. Sleep has definitely improved. But I still really struggle with the mental, i still have the awful intrusive si thoughts though they used to be everyday all day, i have this awful feeling of not wanting to do this anymore and wanting to die. I have hopelessness and inner Akathisia which makes me feel like i want to crawl out of my skill or "kill myself" although i dont. Fear of the future fear of getting worse and not being able to hold on. I also still have depression.  I had a spectracell done all my vitamins look pretty good. I am low omega 3 so im starting that low and slow. I eat extremely well. I am unable to feel any good feelings either. I went back to " raising my French bulldogs" but only to give me something to do and be as normal functioning as I can. Its very hard to believe that my two years of zoloft and not even consecutively with 3 years inbetween has done this to me . Im very scare ill never be ok again. Or that I wont make it out. Please any reassurance or advice! Thank you

[Altostrata]

What does the "akathisia" feel like?

 

Elyssa, you are seeing gradual improvements. That is a "normal" arc of recovery from withdrawal syndrome; 22 months is not a particularly long recovery time.

 

Sadly, emotional anesthesia can be a long-term adverse effect of psychiatric drugs. It also will very gradually lift.

 

Please hang in there, do the best you can hour by hour and day by day. Enjoy your dogs as much as you can, exercising the enjoyment muscle can make it stronger. Dogs are wonderful low-stress company.

 

These might help you:

 

The Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

 

Neuro-emotions

 

Non-drug techniques to cope with emotional symptoms

 

Easing your way into meditation for a stressed-out nervous system

 

Music for self-care: calms hyperalertness, anxiety, aids relaxation and sleep

 

Ways to cope with daily anxiety

[PoetJester]

17 hours ago, Elyssa143 said:

 

Hey everyone. Looking for some reassurance! Hope you all are hanging in as well as you can!

 

@Altostrata hope you had a wonderful holiday. I am coming up on 22 months. I do have "easier" times and i am functioning better. Sleep has definitely improved. But I still really struggle with the mental, i still have the awful intrusive si thoughts though they used to be everyday all day, i have this awful feeling of not wanting to do this anymore and wanting to die. I have hopelessness and inner Akathisia which makes me feel like i want to crawl out of my skill or "kill myself" although i dont. Fear of the future fear of getting worse and not being able to hold on. I also still have depression.  I had a spectracell done all my vitamins look pretty good. I am low omega 3 so im starting that low and slow. I eat extremely well. I am unable to feel any good feelings either. I went back to " raising my French bulldogs" but only to give me something to do and be as normal functioning as I can. Its very hard to believe that my two years of zoloft and not even consecutively with 3 years inbetween has done this to me . Im very scare ill never be ok again. Or that I wont make it out. Please any reassurance or advice! Thank you

Hi Elyssa,  

 

If your sleep is improving that's probably a pretty good sign, i would think..........I still remember your remarkable before and after photos of your tongue healing that happened after stopping the meds from last year on the Rebuild Restore Renew facebook group page and in your occasional updated selfies that would pop up on my facebook timeline(?) page from time to time you looked really well, too, if that's any consolation.........

 

I don't have much in the way of advice over here... my sleep is still pretty terrible, but do you take the bulldogs for walks at all?   Are there any decent open dog parks around?     I was the dog walker in my family for years, because i always felt bad for my sister and brother in law's big dogs that had only a basement and a small backyard to run around in, so i used to make it a point of visiting them mostly so i could spend time walking the dogs, Cy and Lucy.   I did that with a friend of mine, too, who used to live with his girlfriend and her big black lab, Sal, who had to manage his way around a cramped one bedroom apartment with two people, two cats and loads of thrift store furniture, or else be chained to the back porch railing outside their first floor flat, so for several months one year, i would walk over to their apartment every night during the winter and take Sal for 4 mile walks mostly ignoring my friend.  It helped me get out of my own apartment since i was sleeping a lot on the drugs, and also helped to keep under control weight i was putting on from zoloft and zyprexa.......at least for a while anyways...... I don't know.......... Just an idea......   or i could be babbling here......sorry.

 

Poetjester (Derek)

[Altostrata]

Nice post, @PoetJester! Are you able to get any regular canine company now? It sounds like you like dogs.

[Elyssa143]

@Altostrata

Sorry it took so long to get back to you. Im greatful for your response. I understand its not a long time but im tired of struggling im sure like everyone else. But it is not hell 24/7 anymore. Its as if im functioning again and im unable to feel anything but awful feelings and thoughts as if theres a wall between me and my desires and i cant touch it. The akasthsia feels like an awful feeling in my stomach its very uncomfortable like i want to crawl out of my skin or cut myself. It makes me feel like i want to die. Or i have to move some but i dont pace. It seems to be more present here lately. I appreciate all you do for the community. I know healing is extremely slow. I went back to my dogs because its it's something i once loved so much and i do im just unable to feel it and it makes it frustrating and discouraging to do something and not feel ok about it. I was only on the zoloft a year so i know how im supposed to feel and this is not it. I get so discouraged to still be feeling so awful. But it is better than the acute phase. I often feel like this is as good as its going to get for me? But I cant believe that fully. I will continue to improve right? It will all go? Thank you again💗

[Elyssa143]

@PoetJester

Hey! Long time no talk. I appreciate your kind words and lengthy repsonse! I appreciate you taking the time to comment back. I am greatful i am sleeping much better atleast most the time, except when I have puppies..... but I know thats situatisituational.  How are you doing? My tongue is still not back to the way it should be but im trying to work on my nutrient deficiencies in hopes that my body will heal more efficiently.  I want to be better coming out of this then going in! Are you still collecting golf balls? Are you sleeping any better?

[Altostrata]

Elyssa, the emotional anesthesia can take quite a while to very gradually lift. You've seen some improvement, you already know how slow this can be. Be patient, keep company with your beloved dogs, it will come back.

 

A lot of people find fish oil and magnesium supplements helpful, see
https://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/36-king-of-supplements-omega-3-fatty-acids-fish-oil/

https://survivingantidepressants.org/topic/15483-magnesium-natures-calcium-channel-blocker/

 

Try a little bit of one at a time to see how it affects you.

[Elyssa143]

@Altostrata 

Thanks for responding! I actually just started fish oil about 2 weeks ago maybe? Just a half dose, I actually just upped it to full dose today. When I did the spectracell my magnesium was fine? But i have other deficiencies im trying to start to work on now, I just added in a little b3 and I plan to continue. Earlier in withdrawl I couldnt handle anything and magnesium went paradoxical on me. But now im willing to continue to try to work on it. The emotional anesthesia is absolutely awful, but what about the akasthsia and horrible thoughts? Those should go awya as well right? Thanks again!

[Altostrata]

Magnesium can be relaxing.

 

Can you explain more about how you experience akathisia?

 

Yes, all of these tend to fade. Sorry to say, it can take a long time.

[Elyssa143]

@Altostrata i will give magnesium a go again! As far as the "Akathisia " it feels like a very uncomfortable internal restlessness, in my stomach its a very hard feeling to describe.  Its been pretty dominant lately. And itll make it hard to sit still or focus on anything else. Whrn its really intense it makes me feel like i want to bust out of my chest or cut myself. Also makes me feel like i want to die. I was thinking about it earlier its almost like that butterfly feeling in your stomach times a thousand. Like its being eletrified? I dk its weird and completely uncomfortable. Some things have gotten less and a few things have gone but the really scary stuff has stuck around :/. I was really hoping the "suicidal " stuff would have left by now, of course i dont want to die at all. But the chemical feeling of wanting to die is absolutely awful on top of the no good feelings and awful intrusive thoughts. Really hoping for lots more healing this year. One day i look forward to sharing my success story!🙏💗