jonnypeters1234567: 11 months off Citalopram

[jonnypeters1234567]

Akathisia in the afternoons and then feeling out of this world in the evenings- its like zoning in and out of consciousness/ extreme drunkeness

[Altostrata]

Hello, jonny. Would you say you're better or worse than 6 months ago?

[jonnypeters1234567]

Different, I guess I was more robotic 6 months ago, so it was easier. Dealing with a a fair bit of psychosis at times, nothing seeming real. 

[Altostrata]

How's your sleep? When you say you have akathisia in the afternoons, what is that like?

 

What is your daily symptom pattern? Are you taking any other drugs or supplements, caffeine, drinking?

[jonnypeters1234567]

Im taking fish oil and magnesium, clean diet- no bread, sugar, caffeine, alcohol.

 

Akathisa- very low mood, extreme restlessness, racing thoughts, extreme hunger- strange sympton!

 

Im having a hard time accepting the situation, which isnt helping. I thought i would be healed by a year- I was getting better and better by the end of the year it seemed. Then I had a massive wave and my symptoms came back as slightly less severe versions of this time last year. So I have worked out in my head that each year we get better and better as the year goes on and then we have a big wave at the end of the year and the symptoms come back as less severe versions of the year before and so. I should just be happy healing is happening, but its hard to accept at the moment.

[jonnypeters1234567]

Sleep isnt too bad, but goes in cycles like all the symptoms.

 

Waking with hallucinations but not too bad

[Altostrata]

How long do the hallucinations last in the morning? Can you describe them in more detail?

 

How long does the restlessness last in the evening? Does it occur when you're hungry? After you eat, does it settle?

[RusTW]

 jonnypeters1234567  just wanted to stop by and say hi to you. I'm new to all this only a couple months in and still had to reinstate so I have a ways to go. I was reading some of your post in the past about having your waves and windows. I'm still taking 50 mg of Zoloft and 50 mg of Seroquel. This new headache thing and the dizziness and blurred vision head pressure kind of threw me off because I haven't really been feeling that too much on top of anxiety. Thanks for your reply about that I hope it does go away. I have the restlessness also I have to stay busy so the anxiety doesn't take over but my body and mind gets so tired then my thinking goes off. I work 5 days a week around six and a half hours per day I'm finding that the job is helping me out get through my symptoms.

[RusTW]

 I know what you mean I know what you mean about having a hard time accepting this. Me too. I'll have a window and then get slapped by The Wave. This one's a pretty strong one.

[RusTW]

JP what's going on to where your in bed.If u can try to not let it get u down.I have to force myself to get up sometimes.We gotta stay busy it really helps.My job saved me.I have to b very composed with heavy responsibilities so my symptoms don't seem so bad and I don't focus on them so much.my best feeling times are when I'm at work or just getting off.if I stay home I'm worse.

[RusTW]

 you never know after this wave that could be the last or you may have longer windows. I always look forward to my windows in the evening I usually having between about 8 p.m. and 12 a.m.

[jonnypeters1234567]

I get akathisia if I do anything. Rest is the only thing that reduces it. I can just about handle the other symptoms but the aka is the absolute worst

[jonnypeters1234567]

I am recovering from a major crash from msg and a 2 week holiday which involved my brothers wedding. Doing anything makes me worse at the moment.

 

thanks for the message. What's your job?

[jonnypeters1234567]

had severe aka all morning, went for a drive with my mum, then came back and had dinner, bath, now in bed, you?

[RusTW]

JP My job is transporting people.its good you got out with your mom.sorry you feel bad.Hope ya get good sleep.I forget your in different time zone.I'm getting ready to work out.its Smokey here from fire very hot outside.got to work later.its my Friday at work.I hope my symptoms don't hit hard again.I feal ok today.some nausea little anxiety .hopefully a good window is coming.

[jonnypeters1234567]

Sounds a decent job, nice to get constant change of scenery with driving jobs. have a good day, let me know how you get on.

[RusTW]

Thanks man.You too

[RusTW]

 JP how are you feeling man. I didn't sleep too well last night I got out today though and I'm out walking and getting ready to go to the gym last night I was watching some Bruce Lee videos you should check that out it's pretty inspiring. It seems like he had amazing superhuman brain.

[jonnypeters1234567]

hey man,

 

Bit better today, did half hour full body stretches outside, not bed bound the whole day. Good that you are out. Bruce Lee is definately inspirational, really shows what can be done with the body! Enjoy the gym, i need to get back there

[RusTW]

Glad you're feeling better. Stretching is a good start. I'll tell you what those start out slow with the exercising cuz it can aggravate symptoms. I did the same thing in the beginning when I first got sick started stretching and then I started walking so many laps and then I went to the gym. Good job man keep it up. I'm finding that if I don't get some kind of exercise everyday my symptoms get worse that day.

[RusTW]

JP  how you doing today.

[jonnypeters1234567]

Bad man, in a very paranoid wave

[jonnypeters1234567]

I always think im going to finally lose it and give up when in the bad waves

[jonnypeters1234567]

But then its gone just like that 😀

[RusTW]

Glad you get relief.My OCD thinking lately has me a bit paranoid too.That's my fear too of loosing it.it never happens.I try to do stuff when I feel that way to forget it.I think we would have by now.

[RusTW]

Sorry you get that.its scary

[jonnypeters1234567]

not surprising after 8 years of chemicals ha. how was your day?

 

It definitely is scary, just feel so vulnerable during the wave

[jonnypeters1234567]

or should say how is your day going

[RusTW]

The other day I seen a guy that looked like he was wearing a mask.then he wasn't.I freaked out and had anxiety about me seeing that.now I think its funny.we gotta go with it I guess.

[jonnypeters1234567]

crazy, i keep seeing people i know and its like i dont recognise them

[RusTW]

My day off going to exercise.slept better.yesterday was bad.today I'm much better.lower anxiety.going to take my mom to dinner.I have to get more meds at some point too as much as I hate them.

[jonnypeters1234567]

sounds good, where you eating?

 

You should heal in no time, as you were only on meds for a year, lucky!

[RusTW]

 do you think it's our brain trying to readjust from what we were used to thinking. Is it that you don't recognize them or emotionally or visually. Sometimes my brain locks up when I'm trying to figure out stuff. The more I try to figure it out the more lost I get in it.

[jonnypeters1234567]

its like im living in a paralell universe at times in waves, a different world, people are different but i still have a slight memory of them. very weird and disturbing

[RusTW]

 we're going to go out for Chinese food. I hope you're right about that. I'm prepared for the Long Haul. Rosetta mentioned that also  about being on them for such a short time. It's like we're in a bubble in it could pop at any time and set us free. Sometimes my symptoms are so intense I feel like it's just the beginning of my Journey. It seems like I'm getting my windows more frequently than others but they do still change.

[jonnypeters1234567]

like being under the influence of a strong sh***y drug!