jonnypeters1234567: 11 months off Citalopram

[RusTW]

JP when this ends we will be so much stronger.Hang in there.Better days ahead.☺

[RusTW]

Lol I still have anxiety in the doctors office.that will probably never go away.

[jonnypeters1234567]

They need to educate themselves better in terms of mental health and not be so stubborn and learn from patients

[RusTW]

3 minutes ago, jonnypeters1234567 said:

They need to educate themselves better in terms of mental health and not be so stubborn and learn from patients

I will help educate them today.lol.I will share my experience for sure.

[RusTW]

They prescribed me so many drugs last year.psyc drugs and other drugs to manage symptoms.thank God I didn't take 95% of them.The other 5% got me here.I was always into holistic healing. before last year I never took anything or seen doctors.

[RusTW]

After my Dad passed is when things changed.I wasn't paying attention to my mental state.I was working too much to forget my loss of him.Depression and guilt hit me hard months after he passed.

[jonnypeters1234567]

Sorry to hear man

[Rosetta]

I hope you are doing ok today, Jonny.

[RusTW]

1 hour ago, jonnypeters1234567 said:

Sorry to hear man

Thanks JP.Hope ya feel better man.

[thecowisback]

On 8/5/2018 at 3:43 PM, jonnypeters1234567 said:

its a beta blocker.

 

I was a brain dead zombie the first year with lots of confusion and dementia- most of that has left.

 

You are probably at my period in recovery now

my memory is terrible from last year and it's still very bad even now. i hope it improves. i forgot the most basic of things but most worrying is forgetting to pay bills and fill out important paperwork. 

[jonnypeters1234567]

Last year seems like it didnt happen to me, last month, last week all seem non existent

35 minutes ago, thecowisback said:

my memory is terrible from last year and it's still very bad even now. i hope it improves. i forgot the most basic of things but most worrying is forgetting to pay bills and fill out important paperwork. 

 

[jonnypeters1234567]

37 minutes ago, thecowisback said:

my memory is terrible from last year and it's still very bad even now. i hope it improves. i forgot the most basic of things but most worrying is forgetting to pay bills and fill out important paperwork. 

Are you still considering a reinstatement.

 

Just remember we could be alot worse than we are now. I know it isnt great now, but atleast you were able to go to the beach with your daughter. Maybe you didnt enjoy it but many people cant do that

[thecowisback]

I'm still dithering over reinstatement. I'm terrified it will make things 10 times worse. I just want this fear and depression to go away. I wish my husband would talk to me about it but he's still ignoring me after yesterday. The weird thing is after months of not sleeping I went to bed at 9 last night and got up at 7 -I haven't slept that long in ages.

[jonnypeters1234567]

Terrible day 3 hours sleep, kept waking with intense anxiety. Crying all morning about stituation. Now burning all over

[Elyssa143]

@jonnypeters1234567 I'm so sorry your having such a bad day and so much pain. Are u in a bad wave? Have u had any relief the past few days?

[jonnypeters1234567]

A bit, i was on ALOT longer than you and I restarted after a past cold turkey so dont compare yourself to me it is completely differenet

[jonnypeters1234567]

how are you?

[jonnypeters1234567]

And i was on citalopram which i have found out today is so much stronger than the others SSRIS

[Elyssa143]

@jonnypeters1234567 I was on zolift 3 years ago for a year and tapered the same way I did this time. How long were u on it? Were u on a high dose? I'm working on not comparing myself. I hope you get some relief today. I'm ok I've had some improvements so I'm hoping they continue although I'm scared shitless that itll ger worse again I was so severely depressed and suicidal. I cant go back to that. I'm able to get stuff done and not just having to cope. Hows your sleep regularly? Last year were u bad too? I'm scared that you got worse as it went on.

[jonnypeters1234567]

Not sure if ive got it in me to do this for years.. feel very low today. exhausted. My parents are trying to help so much and they keep suggesting accupunture and hypnotherapy but they dont knw how bad it is which makes me so upset. I feel upset for them not necessarily me

[jonnypeters1234567]

It breaks my heart for them

[Elyssa143]

@jonnypeters1234567 I'm a bit exhausted and blah today too. We wont do this for years. Our bodies are healing! I know it seems like it's taking forever. I'm so glad your parents are so supportive! Yes it is very sad for the people around us as no one knows how bad it is except us! I do hope today gets a bit better for u. You have had some improvements try to hold onto that. Were u sleeping in the beginning?

[Elyssa143]

@jonnypeters1234567 what's the worst symptoms? Has anything improved? How about the depression? Does it come and go? Why did u go on meds in the first place? Are you working on finding an underlying cause for that? Were u depressed before the meds

[jonnypeters1234567]

this is a completely different type of depression to normal depression

[jonnypeters1234567]

never been depressed in my life, only slight anxiety- which was actually a physical condition that wouldve been treated with magnesium i think. 6 years of meds life completely ruined because of one 5 minute appointment at university. All i needed was some time off to let me nervous system settle down

[RusTW]

Wishing you some relief JP.

[jonnypeters1234567]

its killing me seeing people living there lives and theres nothing i can do

[Elyssa143]

@jonnypeters1234567 I know exactly what kind of depression your talking about. I've definitely been experiencing it as well. As I only went on the meds for anxiety as well. Have u had depression your whole withdrawl? Does it come and go? 

[jonnypeters1234567]

Yes comes and goes. Not sure if its best to go live on my own and create my own little world free from triggers

[jonnypeters1234567]

One moment i need to be around my caregiver and the next i want to be on my own. I hate this

[jonnypeters1234567]

I should be grateful that i have such loving support. There are people out there with no support going through this

[Elyssa143]

@jonnypeters1234567 it's hard to be greatful for much going through this yes. I very much understand what you mean about watching other people have their life. But has anything improved from the first year? How old are you? Your healing is coming!!!!

[jonnypeters1234567]

im 31, i had none of this the first year, like i said it feels like my withdrawal is just starting now. 

[jonnypeters1234567]

I was so far out of reallity the first year, i couldnt even post on here as it seemed so allien. 

[Elyssa143]

@jonnypeters1234567  that's scary I'm sorry. I've had severe withdrawl since the beginning. Are u on any supplements? I read back and saw something about b vitamins? Are u taking anything else.? 

[jonnypeters1234567]

Im getting alot of hope from blackhill4s thread, as he got hit hard after month 12 and got alot better after year 2