jonnypeters1234567: 11 months off Citalopram

[Iatrogenesis]

Hi, from my experience, although I haven't quit ADs yet, only APs... Generally the higher the dose the less yourself you feel. Perhaps I sort of have experienced the fluctuations in 'being myself' while withdrawing ADs you talk about (I'm not sure, though), but speaking from my experience withdrawing APs, you only get to feel truly yourself and alive once you have completely tapered off. Even the smallest dose still makes a very big difference.

[jonnypeters1234567]

i used to be a bit moody, frustrated easily when growing up. but i did have a fair bit of self esteem. this is not helping my situation, i feel this is going to be more prevalent as the years go by

[jonnypeters1234567]

I dont know what to do guys.. Im getting more raw. Constant buzzing through my body. DOES ANYONE KNOW HOW TO DEAL WITH AKATHISIA??

[Iatrogenesis]

Errr. Well... Take a hot shower. Get somebody to massage you. Work out. Some other things that are relaxing.

 

Akathisia sucks. Zoloft for me was much less akathisia inducing, now with Prozac it's a terrible pain in the neck again.

[jonnypeters1234567]

I wish mine was just a pain in the neck. I can feel it brewing and the next wave feels as if it will be brutal. I had it when i was on the tablets, without knowing what it was. Then i stupidly came off too quick, what a fool.

[Iatrogenesis]

Well. I had it all the time on APs, though a bit stronger. Didn't realise what it was at first, either. Solian was absolutely savage in that respect. Initially I wasn't even able to read a book, no matter what effort I exerted, I was so tense. Couldn't focus. This still creates significant focus problems. And then disrupts sleep. You learn to control yourself from shaking your limbs, but the hit to your attention-span is large. Hard to concentrate with all that tension going on.

[jonnypeters1234567]

yes but the difference to having on the meds, is that you are happy mentally when you have it??

 

I had it on the meds, couldnt sit still, but was content.

[Iatrogenesis]

Err... No, sorry, I can't relate to that. It's more like happiness increases as you go along?* Perhaps you were happy because you didn't realise you had it, so you couldn't be disturbed by the realisation?

 

*Well, provided you don't get bad WD, that is.

[Iatrogenesis]

Some more ideas: herbal tea, meditation. I'm very much against taking any other drug for it. You can actually get addicted to that, too. It can mess you up. I have taken propranolol AND another drug very briefly, different mode of action, considered to be more "effective". I sadly don't remember the name. I think it is more popular with AP takers than propranolol. Well, I was told by a new doctor people who use it are more likely to develop tardive dyskinesia later on. Amazing display of being critical towards psych drugs by him, I'm afraid the only one. So yeah... I'm really sorry it's so severe, but I really wouldn't ever recommend taking another drug to try and control it (even though propranolol wasn't really doing much or perhaps nothing at all). Only natural methods.

[jonnypeters1234567]

Surrender, acceptance and courage

[jonnypeters1234567]

I feel the citalopram did some serious damage to me. It went paradoxical on me. It didnt the complete opposite of what it was meant to in the end, it increase dopamine and reduced serotonin. I was very compulsive and manic at the end. Im still getting rebounds of this behaviour. Recklessness, impulsivity and depression (my current state) is very dangerous situation

[Iatrogenesis]

Terrible... I think what the drugs are marketed as doing has nothing do to with the effects they have on people. They're dangerous drugs, they can mess you up in a lot of ways, just like some illegal ones.

[jonnypeters1234567]

It worked fine the first time on was on it. Then i turned into completely different person. That explains my moments of psycosis in withdrawal

[jonnypeters1234567]

8 minutes ago, Iatrogenesis said:

Terrible... I think what the drugs are marketed as doing has nothing do to with the effects they have on people. They're dangerous drugs, they can mess you up in a lot of ways, just like some illegal ones.

Hows your withdrawal going?

[Iatrogenesis]

Quite fine, thanks. Just some severe insomnia lately, again.

[Iatrogenesis]

 

18 minutes ago, Iatrogenesis said:

Terrible... I think what the drugs are marketed as doing has nothing do to with the effects they have on people. They're dangerous drugs, they can mess you up in a lot of ways, just like some illegal ones.

 

I guess all of them. I was thinking about cannabis as being less dangerous, I guess it is, but I've read stories of people being ruined by it, too.

[pinkfairy]

Hi Jonny 

sropping by to say am truly sorry your on this journey 

I am for every body dealing with this...but trust in the process every body heals it’s none linear up & down round & round...your doing awesome 🙌!

 

just keep putting one foot infront of the other & take it hour by hour if needs be!

 

i get aka it’s horrific but just know everything settles in time.

 

xxxx

[TheWayBack]

Jonny

 

I'm suffering from akathisia for 13+ months now. So what I have found so far to get some relief (and to stay alive):

 

• COLD showers. Learn to take them. Start with a cool shower and gradually go colder and colder. Train on this, this gives immense relief for 30min/2 hours. Tips on this, the Wim Hof method.
• Swiming in cool water. But swimming can be good in a regular pool too.
• Keep busy at all times.
• Drink chamomille tea, LOTS. Lemon balm is good too.
• Take a benzo like Xanax when needed. Don't get suicidal, because that's what aka can do to you. Don't take them more than 2 times a week. I only take them like once a month. But it is very good to know you can always take one. Most of the time we will cope anyway.
• If propranolol helps, TAKE IT. This is not a grueling bad medicine, and it doesn't work for everybody. But if it does (start with 10mg), take it. You might feel a bit more depressed, but I take depression anytime over aka. Same 'safe' med in that category is Clonidine.
• Do NOT take anticholinergics, they can give you tardive dyskinesia.
• Hyperventilation, use Wim Hof breathing method. Normal calm meditation doesn't calm your brain in the same way. I just had an EEG, and in contrary to what I thought, hyperventilation soothes the aka. So Wim Hof breathing methods.
• CBD, if you are still unstable, you can try this. Steer clear of THC until you are more stable and only have akathisia. Weed stops the intense restlessness nicely. It is way too psychoactive for me at the moment though. Therefore, u can try CBD, it might work very good or it might not work at all.

So start taking cold(!) showers and go swimming. Learn Wim Hofs method. Try propranolol. Hope it works for you. In extreme agony, take Xanax - don't get suicidal.

 

Hope you get something out of this.

 

[jonnypeters1234567]

Im getting worse, how do people manage to survive this for years?

[Eleven10]

Iv had akathesia for 5 years. Not at bad as the first 18 months though. I took clonidine when things got very bad back then and it helped. It’s a relatively ‘safe’ drug 

[jonnypeters1234567]

2 hours ago, Eleven10 said:

Iv had akathesia for 5 years. Not at bad as the first 18 months though. I took clonidine when things got very bad back then and it helped. It’s a relatively ‘safe’ drug 

Did you take it as and when or daily?

[jonnypeters1234567]

10 hours ago, TheWayBack said:

Jonny

 

I'm suffering from akathisia for 13+ months now. So what I have found so far to get some relief (and to stay alive):

 

• COLD showers. Learn to take them. Start with a cool shower and gradually go colder and colder. Train on this, this gives immense relief for 30min/2 hours. Tips on this, the Wim Hof method.
• Swiming in cool water. But swimming can be good in a regular pool too.
• Keep busy at all times.
• Drink chamomille tea, LOTS. Lemon balm is good too.
• Take a benzo like Xanax when needed. Don't get suicidal, because that's what aka can do to you. Don't take them more than 2 times a week. I only take them like once a month. But it is very good to know you can always take one. Most of the time we will cope anyway.
• If propranolol helps, TAKE IT. This is not a grueling bad medicine, and it doesn't work for everybody. But if it does (start with 10mg), take it. You might feel a bit more depressed, but I take depression anytime over aka. Same 'safe' med in that category is Clonidine.
• Do NOT take anticholinergics, they can give you tardive dyskinesia.
• Hyperventilation, use Wim Hof breathing method. Normal calm meditation doesn't calm your brain in the same way. I just had an EEG, and in contrary to what I thought, hyperventilation soothes the aka. So Wim Hof breathing methods.
• CBD, if you are still unstable, you can try this. Steer clear of THC until you are more stable and only have akathisia. Weed stops the intense restlessness nicely. It is way too psychoactive for me at the moment though. Therefore, u can try CBD, it might work very good or it might not work at all.

So start taking cold(!) showers and go swimming. Learn Wim Hofs method. Try propranolol. Hope it works for you. In extreme agony, take Xanax - don't get suicidal.

 

Hope you get something out of this.

 

Thanks alot, hope you are well as can be

[Eleven10]

Took it for 7 weeks untill I had very low blood pressure and had to stop 

it definitely helped with akathesia.

Dr Healy recommends in in certain circumstances 

[jonnypeters1234567]

2 minutes ago, Eleven10 said:

Took it for 7 weeks untill I had very low blood pressure and had to stop 

it definitely helped with akathesia.

Dr Healy recommends in in certain circumstances 

cheers

[jonnypeters1234567]

I cant deal with slowly loosing myself day by day. 

 

I have been rocking and swaying all morning.

[jonnypeters1234567]

So. when you think it cant get any worse-

 

Today I had a bout of panic/akathisia and i was afraid of my mum, couldnt recognise her.. kept pacing round kitchen- ripped t-shirt up. WHAT THE HELL?

[jozeff]

Hi jonny, 

 

I'm so sorry for you. Following your post for several weeks and you must be having an awful time. 

 

Do you have a psychiatrist who you can talk to. I mean you crashed the citalopram a little over a year ago. There must be someone who can support you in person. 

 

I've read many many stories of people who CT antidepressants and citalopram also. They almost always recover. You have to be patient even when you think this will be the rest of your life. It won't be. It can't be. 

 

If you think you cannot survive the day try to survive an hour. If that's to long survive 5 minutes. 

I'm on citalopram myself and jumping up and down in dose. And I felt absolutely abysmal. Some days I crawled out of my skin. Pure anxiety and just hoping to die soon. But then the next day that horrible feeling went away and I regained some energy to fight back.

 

You have to fight back jonny! Don't let the medication win! 

 

Do you have windows these days if I may ask? Or is it one mess?

 

I have a notebook so I can write down myfeelings and other stuff. Sometimes I think I have always felt this bad when I have a wave. Then I read in my notebook and it appears I don't always feel like sh..

It helps to understand feelings.

 

I hope you feel a bit better by now jonny.

 

I wish you all the best!!

 

Cheers

 

Jozeff

 

[jonnypeters1234567]

I feel i am a breakdown away from a psyc ward... then thatll be the end of me

[jonnypeters1234567]

15 hours ago, jozeff said:

Hi jonny, 

 

I'm so sorry for you. Following your post for several weeks and you must be having an awful time. 

 

Do you have a psychiatrist who you can talk to. I mean you crashed the citalopram a little over a year ago. There must be someone who can support you in person. 

 

I've read many many stories of people who CT antidepressants and citalopram also. They almost always recover. You have to be patient even when you think this will be the rest of your life. It won't be. It can't be. 

 

If you think you cannot survive the day try to survive an hour. If that's to long survive 5 minutes. 

I'm on citalopram myself and jumping up and down in dose. And I felt absolutely abysmal. Some days I crawled out of my skin. Pure anxiety and just hoping to die soon. But then the next day that horrible feeling went away and I regained some energy to fight back.

 

You have to fight back jonny! Don't let the medication win! 

 

Do you have windows these days if I may ask? Or is it one mess?

 

I have a notebook so I can write down myfeelings and other stuff. Sometimes I think I have always felt this bad when I have a wave. Then I read in my notebook and it appears I don't always feel like sh..

It helps to understand feelings.

 

I hope you feel a bit better by now jonny.

 

I wish you all the best!!

 

Cheers

 

Jozeff

 

I have windows, but thats when i worry about my situation and this getting worse. i know its going to get worse because i feel worse than last year

[jonnypeters1234567]

it feels like my problem is very deep rooted and i cant see me doing this for years

 

I shouldve reinstated last year, but i thought the healing was linear back then and i thought i was getting better, probably wouldve saved my life

[Eleven10]

I feel like this too. I was definitely better in year 2 than year 5 

[jonnypeters1234567]

1 minute ago, Eleven10 said:

I feel like this too. I was definitely better in year 2 than year 5 

thanks for that.... just what i need to hear

[jonnypeters1234567]

Im even mourning how i felt last year

[Eleven10]

Don’t mean to upset you. Just giving my experience. I was always told 3 years is a turning point but never happened for me.. We are all different you could be much better very soon.

[jonnypeters1234567]

28 minutes ago, Eleven10 said:

I feel like this too. I was definitely better in year 2 than year 5 

You MUST have had alot of breaks or how else did you do it?

[Eleven10]

Iv had maybe a handful of days in the 5 years that have been less difficult and made me think I have a future

I have been suicidal many many many times including today 

I have a child. 

I have a lot of support.

i have kept going because I have always thought that maybe one day I would either get better or find the courage to try medication or I would die of a heart attack from the stress and insomnia 

 

akathesia makes you suicidal. It’s not you