RusTW: Seroquel CT then reinstated

[Vonnegutjunky]

Just came here to see how you were, nice to see you have some good news 🙏❤️

[RusTW]

6 hours ago, Vonnegutjunky said:

Just came here to see how you were, nice to see you have some good news 🙏❤️

Thanks V doing a little better.windows off and on

[Rosetta]

Rus,

I'm so glad to hear your cat scan was Normal.  That must be a relief.  You are learning how to get by with this awful syndrome.  Soon you will doing even better.

Rosetta

[RusTW]

Just now, Rosetta said:

Rus,

I'm so glad to hear your cat scan was Normal.  That must be a relief.  You are learning how to get by with this awful syndrome.  Soon you will doing even better.

Rosetta

Thanks@RosettaI'm happy also that it came back good. During the ultrasound they seen something in my liver. I was very worried that it was cirrhosis . I've never done drugs or alcohol so I was pretty shocked to hear that. I've been detoxing parasites and candida for some time now and I think the detox blocked up my liver.

I'm still battling die-off symptoms from the candida and parasites it's pretty brutal when you combine that with your withdrawal symptoms everything gets amplified and very dark. It's teaching me though that each day I make it through will be another day I'll have confidence making it through.

I'll check in on you I know you were in a really bad wave recently.

[Rabe]

On 6/20/2019 at 10:49 AM, RusTW said:

For anybody out there struggling with health issues and going through withdraw I absolutely feel for you it is a scary place to be in and very dark but believe there's always hope and an answer

You are so special and inspiring Rus!!  SO hoping you continue to feel better and better.  Continue to take care of you!!

[Rosetta]

Rus, 

What do you mean by die-off?  How does one treat candida?  I though that eating yogurt would take care of that issue.  I suppose some people can't eat dairy.  What parasites are you referring to?  Anyway, I hope it's all working out for you. -Rosetta

[RusTW]

2 hours ago, Rosetta said:

Rus, 

What do you mean by die-off?  How does one treat candida?  I though that eating yogurt would take care of that issue.  I suppose some people can't eat dairy.  What parasites are you referring to?  Anyway, I hope it's all working out for you. -Rosetta

Die off is the releasing of bad toxins from parasites and yeast.Makes you feel like ****. Amped anxiety  fog  fatigue  insomnia body sick.Makes wd worse. 

Die off is a herxheimer reaction.detox sickness. 

Dairy not good because the sugars feed the bad bugs. 

 a lot of people are plagued with this condition and don't realize it. It can resemble withdraw or make it worse

[RusTW]

13 hours ago, Rabe said:

You are so special and inspiring Rus!!  SO hoping you continue to feel better and better.  Continue to take care of you!!

Thanks Rabe plugging along.

Yesterday morning I was me for a couple hours.I missed him and felt.

THIS IS WHY IM SUFFERING TO B COMPLETE AGAIN AND FEEL THAT WAY .

[manny03]

32 minutes ago, RusTW said:

Thanks Rabe plugging along.

Yesterday morning I was me for a couple hours.I missed him and felt.

THIS IS WHY IM SUFFERING TO B COMPLETE AGAIN AND FEEL THAT WAY .

I feel you Russ. Just keep at it. 

[RusTW]

@manny03 Still living life here.sometimes it's a hell of a struggle. The crazy thing is is how you can not remember how your window felt and reminisce on it in the midst of the deep wave. There's some kind of therapy in that though because you have to find the answers in your toolbox to get by and I think that's what we needed all along.

My girlfriend has been very helpful patient and understanding. I'm very lucky to be with her. Without the support of people close to us and on the site this would be a lot darker then we would ever want it. I know they can't feel the way we feel or understand it but hats off to them for trying to..

My Darkest withdraw moments were during the month of June. I could say I went to my deep end and was able to come back from it. Going through that really made me understand how strong I am during this. Again thank God for an understanding girlfriend.

I'm still going through the GI stuff all tests are coming back clear still haven't been tested for sibo still awaiting candida test. I'm pretty sure it's dysbiosis though because I react to the foods that kill bacteria. I'm still on the low fodmaps diet with no sugar and no bad carbs and I'm still struggling.

Very good news is I had a mediocre LOL I hate to say that because any window is good but a window for about 6 days with mild symptoms. Like yourself have gotten I'm getting  as you call a micro windows off and on now.

[manny03]

16 minutes ago, RusTW said:

@manny03 Still living life here.sometimes it's a hell of a struggle. The crazy thing is is how you can not remember how your window felt and reminisce on it in the midst of the deep wave. There's some kind of therapy in that though because you have to find the answers in your toolbox to get by and I think that's what we needed all along.

My girlfriend has been very helpful patient and understanding. I'm very lucky to be with her. Without the support of people close to us and on the site this would be a lot darker then we would ever want it. I know they can't feel the way we feel or understand it but hats off to them for trying to..

My Darkest withdraw moments were during the month of June. I could say I went to my deep end and was able to come back from it. Going through that really made me understand how strong I am during this. Again thank God for an understanding girlfriend.

I'm still going through the GI stuff all tests are coming back clear still haven't been tested for sibo still awaiting candida test. I'm pretty sure it's dysbiosis though because I react to the foods that kill bacteria. I'm still on the low fodmaps diet with no sugar and no bad carbs and I'm still struggling.

Very good news is I had a mediocre LOL I hate to say that because any window is good but a window for about 6 days with mild symptoms. Like yourself have gotten I'm getting  as you call a micro windows off and on now.

I know that feeling. It feels like everything fades away and it's constant hell. Keep close to those helping you through this. Sadly, in my case I don't have the privilege of having people help me through this, and I've gone back and forth to that dark place. I just battle it one day at a time. 

 

More the micro windows you get, the better will be at the end. 

 

Keep at it. 🙂

 

 

 

 

 

[RusTW]

Update getting micro Windows of the old me that's been improved. Now I'm starting to feel like it's happening recovery I mean.

I'm finding myself from time to time now saying oh that's the old me. It's not a constant but it's definitely come in micro windows

So now even if I go back in to some hard times I know underneath this crap I'm still in there.

Thank God I never gave into that crap medication that they're serving up like candy.

Hope all is well with all y'all out there. Keep up the good fight

With each hard wave there's more confidence that the next one will be manageable.

[RichT]

3 minutes ago, RusTW said:

Update getting micro Windows of the old me that's been improved. Now I'm starting to feel like it's happening recovery I mean.

I'm finding myself from time to time now saying oh that's the old me. It's not a constant but it's definitely come in micro windows

So now even if I go back in to some hard times I know underneath this crap I'm still in there.

Thank God I never gave into that crap medication that they're serving up like candy.

Hope all is well with all y'all out there. Keep up the good fight

With each hard wave there's more confidence that the next one will be manageable.

 

Great news Rus!

[RachelSusan]

Wow, is this good to hear. 

[Rabe]

I am so happy to hear that Rus! Did I read you are having the GI issues...getting rid of the bugs?  How is that going ?  Thinking about you!!

[RusTW]

@Rabe @RichT  @RachelSusan Thanks for checking out my thread.Things are getting better.2 days ago had a super clear window again. Still in Windows and waves pattern I'll get a couple days fatigue a couple days of anxiety and a couple days of windows very strange week. I'm getting some fatigue I'm not sure if that has to do with the GI issue and detoxifying but it's miserable when I do get it..

 

The GI issues that I'm having are cramping gas constipation diarrhea bloating sharp pain and reflux from certain foods. I'm still on a very strict low FODMAP diet. I think I'm going to be one of those that when I heal my gut my withdrawals will get better also. Initially I had major nausea and anxiety in the beginning of my withdraws. from my understanding the process goes backward as you heal and your first symptoms are the last to go. I hope that's the case with me.

Russ

[Rosetta]

So nice that you are having Windows!  Hang in there! -Rosetta

[RusTW]

@Rosetta yes the windows do bring hope. They seem to be getting more clear and easier to predict. It's very strange I Loop music to not have repetitive thoughts. during windows or when they're coming I start hearing music instead of obsessive thinking.

 

It's nice now that I'm not waking up to those cortisol spikes as much as I was in the beginning. It only seems to happen once or twice a week if that. They are very disturbing sorry you have to go through that sometimes.

I'm noticing when I start to go into Windows I feel a Unity with all the people around me and like I'm at 1 with everything.

When I'm in a wave I feel disconnected.

Sending good thoughts your way.

Russ 

 

[Rabe]

On 8/6/2019 at 2:22 PM, RusTW said:

I think I'm going to be one of those that when I heal my gut my withdrawals will get better also.

I so believe this Rus.  My stomach is always torn up it seems by what I eat...I am eating so bland ...and very few veggies and no fruits.  But grateful to eat at all.  Going to be checked for SIBO soon...will see.  Take care of yourself!!💜

[RusTW]

Hi @Rabe geez all the research I've done into the digestive system it's just unbelievable. All the testing that's been done on me is unbelievable. I started to develop digestive issues prior to the meds while taking the medications and then after my cold turkey.

I had a nice break while I was taking Zyprexa. It gave me a good appetite and seemed to take away a lot of the symptoms of my digestive system. I gained a lot of fat though. Sugary Foods tasted so good. Everything did. I just slept lot though to escape the depression I felt about my health anxiety and unexplained physical symptoms.

 

14 or 15 days worth of Cipro 1000 mg a day for a supposed prostate infection bombed my gut so bad I developed Candida esophagitisand yeast blisters. Everything I ate I felt like I was going to choke on until this was remedied. Not by Pharmaceuticals though. By Fage yogurt. It works miracles on yeast if you're okay with dairy. This is what weakened my immune system and more susceptible to the withdraw effects of coming off these drugs cold turkey and too fast.

I've already noticed the improvements being on the low FODMAP diet doing very light Candida and parasite protocol which includes sibo.

Very surprising what kind of toxins I've developed over the years. It hurts when they come out but through time you feel better. Just like withdrawal It has  waves  and Windows as well. The combo of the detox and withdrawal from these drugs has definitely strengthened me when I'm in Normal withdrawal waves.

Best of luck to you in finding peace with your digestive system. it can be tricky but I think there's good rewards to it when balance is found. 

Russ 

 

[RusTW]

Update in the pattern of waves and windows. Over the last three days in a wave of the same kind of anxiety and sweaty mess  that I was in the very beginning.

For the month of August so far I've had a 5-day window and broken wave days lasting about 2 days

My GI symptoms for the past 8 days have been pretty good started probiotic l rhamnosus single species to cultivate inside my gut to rebuild it. I've also been using a half a clove of garlic a day and it seems to be helping with my symptoms of sibo without bad die off anymore.

My sleep is okay I'm usually sleeping about 5 hours a night restorative now at least. I don't have many cortisol spikes that wake me up anymore. My dreams are very Vivid and full story.

During my windows now I'm definitely in normal land or what that was to me in the past and it even seems improved during some windows.

This anxiety that I feel now is the kind where you feel agitated and ruminating. The positive thing is this is exactly the same kind I had in the beginning of this mess. The negative is more arguments over stupid things with the girlfriend. I'm working it out though my anger that is.

[Rabe]

Hi Rus. SO glad to hear!  I am going to see a doctor next work...was referred for a GI check and to check for SIBO.  They are talking about going on an antibiotic for a long time which I dont want to do so sure would so appreciate what you have done to get well with the SIBO without antibiotics, right>

The diet, the yogurt, probiotics?  I would like to take what you have done with me to the doctor.  Blessings to you Rus!!

[RusTW]

On 8/15/2019 at 7:24 PM, Rabe said:

Hi Rus. SO glad to hear!  I am going to see a doctor next work...was referred for a GI check and to check for SIBO.  They are talking about going on an antibiotic for a long time which I dont want to do so sure would so appreciate what you have done to get well with the SIBO without antibiotics, right>

The diet, the yogurt, probiotics?  I would like to take what you have done with me to the doctor.  Blessings to you Rus!!

NO ANTIBIOTICS Rabe.Change your diet first very slow then introduce Garlic Onion carrot beets pumpkin seeds sunflower seeds all raw. these are some foods that will kill bad bacteria -sibo parasites and candida. They sometimes come together in a combo package. It not uncommon. GP doctors are not too wise about these conditions and order basic tests. Always ask for comprehensive stool test.

I have the sibo breath test in October. I will have killed it by then .ON MY OWN.

It's been a long healing process. Be patient.

Russ

[Rabe]

Thank you for all that Rus...SO happy to hear things are getting better for you in so many ways!!  That is such a wonderful gift!!  Hoping that trend continues for you!!  

[RusTW]

@RabeThanks.RabeThanks.I do feel blessed to b on track healing. 

Update started my cut on Zoloft about a week in now. No issues actually more improvements. Getting more windows now than waves. Some of my mornings will start off bad and then within a few hours the day is good. I have been getting full windows multiple days.

Even during my waves I feel more normal now.

My GI situation is also improving gradually. The detox was very hard but well worth it. I have to say out of all types of remedies garlic was the best as far as cleaning my system. Overall my health is improving from these changes.

The thing that has helped me the most is finding acceptance that I have to live with this until it's gone. Not try to solve it or make it go faster because it won't it just is and I just let it be that.

I've gone through all kinds of mental States during this process some extremely difficult but I'm still plugging through this.

There's a huge benefit in this journey and it is to be able to handle life comfortably now. I have learned so much from this the good and the bad that it will always be imprinted in my soul.

Sometimes just forcing myself to sit still and be calm when akathisia hits has taught me to be calm no matter what now. Hopefully I'm over the hump now I don't want to speak too soon but I still have my hopes there.

 

[RusTW]

Update I'm on about 3 weeks right now out from My Tabor from 37 to 33 mg of Zoloft. I got hit hard about the second week. Lots of Life stress right now. Mom is very ill. Withdraws straining the relationship I'm in.

For the month of August I had about 11 really bad days in the remainder of those days of that month were fairly decent I would say moderate to good windows.

I'm finding that during waves any type of drug that I take just amplifies the wave. Very strange.

Here's an example on my days off I will smoke cannabis in the morning and if I'm in a wave it just intensifies the wave and then Fades out. If I'm in a window it is actually a very soothing and refreshing experience and helps me sleep at night. I have experimented with the cannabis and it seems to be that whether I smoke or not I still go into waves. I've taken a break from it also and have the exact same experience when I do smoke. This is very strange because when my chemistry changes I can feel it

[RusTW]

Continued update

GI issues are still there not as severe. Diet is on point no bad food no bad drinks. Exercising about an hour and a half every day. Either walking or working out.

New symptoms visual Distortion up close. Went in for it in eye exam and Doctor recognized up-close Vision was bad. This was all of a sudden within a month. I'm not sure if this is withdraw but it's very odd I can't look at anything up close it becomes blurry.

Returning symptoms are the racing anxiety and sweating profusely early in the morning on my wave days. Headaches dizziness nausea. These almost resemble my first symptoms so hopefully I've at least backtracked to the start of this mess. It said your first symptoms will be your last. Hoping this is the case being that I'm giving some nice windows sometimes and now the patterns are intermittent waves and windows sometimes hours sometimes days.

There are times that I feel like I'm not even in withdraw and then the only thing that screws that feeling up is that I can't take a nap and I get resentful towards the world even the Ducks at the park for napping in the day. LOL

The fatigue I feel sometimes is immense with the fog and the anxiety I don't know how I do it sometimes getting through the day. I do in one day leads to another and that has lessened my fear of going to the cuckoo house. So in a nutshell I feel like I'm on my way at a snail's pace.

I do feel very blessed for the windows I get and enlightened by this experience and able to feel that during those windows the lessons of this.

Sleep is anywhere from 3 to 7 hours depending on the window and waves pattern. Obviously I don't sleep during waves that well but during my windows I'm sleeping at least 5 hours. Having a lot of very visual dreams and strange early in the morning probably due to high cortisol. Only getting cortisol wake-ups on wave days.

I am also getting a strange wave pattern where I wake up within an hour have anxiety it's gone by noon and then comes back in the evening so plenty of revisits making that unknown more probable. Got to love withdrawal right

[manny03]

1 hour ago, RusTW said:

Continued update

GI issues are still there not as severe. Diet is on point no bad food no bad drinks. Exercising about an hour and a half every day. Either walking or working out.

New symptoms visual Distortion up close. Went in for it in eye exam and Doctor recognized up-close Vision was bad. This was all of a sudden within a month. I'm not sure if this is withdraw but it's very odd I can't look at anything up close it becomes blurry.

Returning symptoms are the racing anxiety and sweating profusely early in the morning on my wave days. Headaches dizziness nausea. These almost resemble my first symptoms so hopefully I've at least backtracked to the start of this mess. It said your first symptoms will be your last. Hoping this is the case being that I'm giving some nice windows sometimes and now the patterns are intermittent waves and windows sometimes hours sometimes days.

There are times that I feel like I'm not even in withdraw and then the only thing that screws that feeling up is that I can't take a nap and I get resentful towards the world even the Ducks at the park for napping in the day. LOL

The fatigue I feel sometimes is immense with the fog and the anxiety I don't know how I do it sometimes getting through the day. I do in one day leads to another and that has lessened my fear of going to the cuckoo house. So in a nutshell I feel like I'm on my way at a snail's pace.

I do feel very blessed for the windows I get and enlightened by this experience and able to feel that during those windows the lessons of this.

Sleep is anywhere from 3 to 7 hours depending on the window and waves pattern. Obviously I don't sleep during waves that well but during my windows I'm sleeping at least 5 hours. Having a lot of very visual dreams and strange early in the morning probably due to high cortisol. Only getting cortisol wake-ups on wave days.

I am also getting a strange wave pattern where I wake up within an hour have anxiety it's gone by noon and then comes back in the evening so plenty of revisits making that unknown more probable. Got to love withdrawal right

 

I know those visual symptoms. They're scary as hell. I had them this time last year. My eyes would either lose slight focus, or suddenly my sight went blurry for three seconds. It lasted me for almost two months. If it's that, just bare with it. 

 

With the anxiety (heart issues/blood pressure),  that began to occur two months ago while the off balance and dizziness has been the main symptoms of my W/D that hasn't left from day one. GWRRRR! 

 

The fatigue...boy I know that feeling its scary. Feels like you're not going to make through the day.  After the off balance, this has lingered from day one also. 

 

I hope you're right that these symptoms are the last, so you're able to move on. 

 

 

[RusTW]

It definitely feels like I'm getting pretty good breaks some good windows. Tapering now so I'm struggling pretty good. Flu-like symptoms fatigue anxiety insomnia. Can you explain how your anxiety is

[manny03]

4 minutes ago, RusTW said:

It definitely feels like I'm getting pretty good breaks some good windows. Tapering now so I'm struggling pretty good. Flu-like symptoms fatigue anxiety insomnia. Can you explain how your anxiety is

When someone gets near me I quickly get anxious, get heart palpitations, losing my breath feeling, headaches, agitated, irritated, even the sound of music gets me triggered. 

 

Some days I barely sleep three hours. 

 

Fatigue, feel off balance or dizzy, wobbly legs. Then, other days. Nothing. 

 

 

[RusTW]

17 hours ago, manny03 said:

When someone gets near me I quickly get anxious, get heart palpitations, losing my breath feeling, headaches, agitated, irritated, even the sound of music gets me triggered. 

 

Some days I barely sleep three hours. 

 

Fatigue, feel off balance or dizzy, wobbly legs. Then, other days. Nothing. 

 

 

Do you feel this when your by yourself?your only sleeping 3 hours at night?Your getting windows right?

[manny03]

1 hour ago, RusTW said:

Do you feel this when your by yourself?your only sleeping 3 hours at night?Your getting windows right?

When I'm alone. I'm ok. 

 

Last night I had six hours sleep. So it's mixed.

 

I've had my windows last week. 

[RusTW]

15 minutes ago, manny03 said:

When I'm alone. I'm ok. 

 

Last night I had six hours sleep. So it's mixed.

 

I've had my windows last week. 

I do understand this. I don't have it when I get around people but if there's any type of Confrontation it definitely causes intense anxiety. What I've been doing now though is when it's happening I slowed everything down and talk calmly and be Collective and be cool it's called the three C's and I have to do it now because I'm a manager and I have conflict sometimes and I have to be able to resolve it without showing any weakness.

[RusTW]

@Gridley I'm about 3 weeks out from my cut. I was curious I got hit about the second week which is more intense of the same symptoms with less breaks or Windows.

Currently right now it feels like I have the flu but I can't distinguish withdraw flu symptoms and real flu. Would a runny nose indicate an infection or is that also a withdrawal symptom?

After each cut when symptoms are more intense is there any kind of timeline for symptoms to die down?

im def not up dosing. I'm almost a month out.

I did the cut on August 14th and from then until now I've had eight to 10 pretty decent days but now I'm starting to get scattered waves with broken up windows that are very short-lived.

Does it seem like I'm on track?

Thanks Gridley

[Gridley]

49 minutes ago, RusTW said:

I'm about 3 weeks out from my cut. I was curious I got hit about the second week which is more intense of the same symptoms with less breaks or Windows.

 

It's not clear from your signature what you're tapering and at what rate?  Are you tapering 10% of current dose every four weeks?  

 

It is usual after a cut to have symptoms appear at some point in the cycle.  If it wasn't too much of a cut, these symptoms normally resolve within a few days.  If they don't, it's a sign you're tapering too fast.

 

A runny nose is usually a sign of a cold rather than the flu.  Real flu will give you a fever, WD fu will not.  If it's WD flu, that's also a sign that you're tapering too fast.

 

It sounds to me as if a hold would be a good idea at this point to give your system a chance to catch up

[RusTW]

10 minutes ago, Gridley said:

 

It's not clear from your signature what you're tapering and at what rate?  Are you tapering 10% of current dose every four weeks?  

 

It is usual after a cut to have symptoms appear at some point in the cycle.  If it wasn't too much of a cut, these symptoms normally resolve within a few days.  If they don't, it's a sign you're tapering too fast.

 

A runny nose is usually a sign of a cold rather than the flu.  Real flu will give you a fever, WD fu will not.  If it's WD flu, that's also a sign that you're tapering too fast.

 

It sounds to me as if a hold would be a good idea at this point to give your system a chance to catch up

Gridley is I need to update my signature how do you do that?

My last cut was Zoloft from 50 to 37.5 mg that was in the beginning of January due to gi side effects. Holding on seroquel 37.5mg since last year.

I held for quite some time with lots of windows so I decided to taper zoloft again. This time is  Using Gemini scale at 10%.

Thanks again Gridley.

Hope your doing good

Russ