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RusTW

RusTW: Seroquel CT then reinstated

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Rosetta

HI Rus,

 

I'm not sure what I wrote to you, but it was the fact that you were having windows that made me think you were likely to heal more quickly than I have.  It seems, to me, that the recovery time depends on how destabilized the nervous system becomes and/or how quickly it bounces back.  Some people are affected by WD very little or not at all and others have a horrendous time with it.  For those of us who are unlucky enough to be affected to a greater degree, I think it's good if we find out early and stop the drug within a few years, but not because WD will be shorter.  It's because anything that can do this to us must be something not fit for human consumption, and I'm always glad to see a very short course of any psych drug on someone's signature.

 

How long WD will take for each person can't be predicted by the length of time on drugs.  Nor does it seem that the extent of the WD can predicted by the time on the ADs.  That may seem very Illogical, but it appears that each person responds differently to ADs and to WD.  There are ways that seem to lengthen WD by irritating the nervous system with dosevchanges and other drugs such as Cipro (antibiotic) or having adrenaline based numbing agents at the dentist.  However, there are people in WD who aren't sensitive to things that other people are very sensitive to.  So, it's really a matter of avoiding a lot of things just to avoid the risk of irritating the nervous system in order to try to heal as quickly as possible.  

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Rosetta
13 minutes ago, RusTW said:

 I think the taper of the Zoloft was too fast down from 125 mg down to 50 mg. I'm holding here now but worried that the cold turkey and the fast taper might have set me back as far as time goes.

 

That's natural to worry about that, but you can't go back and change the past.  You have to try to ignore that and focus on the things you can control now -- taking walks, getting to bed early, eating well and distracting yourself from your anxiety.  No amount of worry is going to make this process move faster, but getting gentle exercise, rest, and good nutrition will make your time in WD less difficult.

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RusTW

Thanks Rosetta-im hard on myself about where i am .im sure we all go thrue this.im still trying to find peace with the doctors choices to put me on the meds.I can relate with ya on the ocd thing.my ocd  is health anxiety.Last year i thought i was dying from everything.i had every test done.all negative.My anxiety was probably manifesting as physical symptoms or was side effect from meds.it was horrible and extreme.i was at a doctors or specialist office at least 3 or 4 days a week looking for answers.so many procedures done so many ct scans.hope i dont get radiation poison. lol.least of my worries now with this crap w/d.

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Rabe

Thinking about you Rus...hoping things settle down again for you.  I can only share that since my rapid tapers my system is really sensitive...I decreased by 5% recently and event that seems too much...take care!

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RusTW

Rabe - thanks for the thought.This evening I got some relief finally.my symptoms are changing.So are my windows.It gets really intense with the anxiety.The last 3 days dizzy confused racing thoughts blurred vision really bad headaches and depression.most of the time its mainly anxiety and nausea but the last few days all of the above .sometimes its on and off all day so intermittent its scary.How are you doing.hope things are well.

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Rosetta

Thanks for all your kind words today. I'm sorry to hear about your mom's illness.  She's very lucky she had no WD, but I understand that you want to be there for her and it's hard when you are going through this mess.  I hope you sleep well. 

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RusTW

Rosetta  I hope things are getting better.☺

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RusTW

I didn't sleep that much last night woke up in the middle of the night and took some Benadryl to try to make me sleep but still just tossed and turned this morning I have anxiety and a little bit of nausea not as bad as the last few days but it's still there. Last night I had a short window for a few hours the only symptom I had was a slight bit of nervousness not really anxiety and I was sweating that was it other than that I felt good but then when I got home I couldn't go to sleep because I still felt amped-up. I have a little bit of that brain fog today too and the dizziness

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RusTW

Rosetta    = when you say cortisol spikes do you mean anxiety.

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Rosetta

They cause anxiety.  There is a rise in the hormone cortisol around 4 am in the morning.  It's a slow rise that helps us wake up, but when we are in WD either it can a sudden jolt that makes us wake up in a panic or with a pounding heart. It can also be a less severe jump that makes us wake up feeling anxious and uneasy.  SA people call them cortisol awakenings.

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RusTW

Rosetta thanks for explaining that . I just assumed it was just anxiety in general but I guess the real science of it is cortisol that is making me feel all amped up in the morning. I noticed around 5 a.m. is when I usually start getting it feeling it and I can stay semi asleep until about 7 but by the time 7 comes around I can't go back to sleep Then by about 9 or 10 I feel it full force. I've been going through this thing lately where I'm having waves and windows throughout the day. It's been really hard for me to understand what's going on now because I used to get waves and windows that would be for a few days the longest one I had lasted 8 days. It's really strange because it seems on a daily basis now the waves and windows will go back and forth back and forth in the evening it seems to die down quite a bit have you heard of that happening.

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RusTW

 I think while we were on the meds we were living in a conscious state of mind every day you know just functioning day to day as we normally do but I think when we either come off the meds or reduce the meds we we mess with our subconscious mind. I would consider myself an intuitive creative spontaneous person and I've noticed ever since I was on the meds that that has diminished quite a bit. I lost a spontaneity just to up and do things and get the Euphoria from it. I've always relied on my intuition to guide my decisions. Now I don't have that I think that's affected going through this.

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Rosetta

Yes, many, many people feel worse in the morning and better in the evening.  For a while, I felt better in the afternoon and then really bad when the sun was going down, but that stopped happening.  There is a theory about why we go through windows and waves.  There are different symptoms that we experience depending on how the brain is healing and re-balancing itself.  Each time the brain makes repairs other things go wrong, and we feel different symptoms because of the repairs.  There seem to be some pretty consistent symptoms each of us has over and over, but others appear and disappear for long stretches.  When everything levels out we get a window, but another repair is made after that, and we feel bad again.  For some, what seems to be off kilter for a long period of time is the circadian rhythm of the daylight hours.  They have insomnia.  Others sleep too much.  For many the cortisol lasts through the day until evening.  Napping is impossible or very difficult.  That's my problem.  

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RusTW

That makes sense Rosetta. I've read on here that people have their symptoms there waves for many days in a row I'm confused by this because I'm having waves throughout the day each hour and even minutes it comes and goes comes and goes. I'll switch back into my normal Ways of thinking and then I'll get the withdrawal type of thinking and it goes back and forth. Lately my ways were going and days 2 or 3 days and then I would get a break for 2 or 3 days. I'm wondering that being fresh in this withdrawal having the relief off and on so soon is a sign that I'm healing faster. It's really weird it's like I'm living in both worlds all the time my mind is keep shifting back and forth from my normal ways of thinking to withdraw thinking back and forth.

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RusTW

I was wondering if during our withdrawals we connect things with subconscious anchors in our environment that doesn't allow us to forget about the withdrawals so if we connect to something one day with the smell and we smell that smell again can it trigger a withdrawal symptoms during a window. When I was studying acting we used our subconscious anchors from the past to bring about emotions to the present so that's what has me wondering about this. I know we're out of balance because of the medications but is there some way we can disconnect from withdrawal anchors. If our environment can trigger it we have to find some kind of way to gain ground over it.

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RusTW

I just noticed at the same time of the day I'm having some of the same symptoms in the same environment on my days off when I change my environment I'm not having the same symptoms at that same time. if that makes any sense so did kind of simplify if we just do the same things everyday does that lock us into our withdrawal symptoms even more than challenging ourselves to do new and different things.

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RusTW

Hi Rosetta. Do you think that the Zoloft amplifies anxiety or any type of OCD Behavior. Now thinking back to last year when I had the health anxiety I'm wondering if the Zoloft actually Amplified that type of anxiety and obsessive thinking while I was taking the 125mg.

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RusTW

 I'm noticing about an hour after I take my 50 mg of Zoloft I start sweating really bad in my armpits to wear my shirt gets soaking wet. I usually take it around midday and I think it still might be amping me up and causing me to obsess about stuff and adding to the anxiety

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RusTW

 it's hard not to be curious about this with so many people suffering long-term .I was wondering if because I got Windows early on in my withdrawals and they've changed to Shorter windows but more frequent have I progressed I'm about 2 and a half months out from the cold turkey. Is there anyone out there that only had short term use of the antidepressants or antipsychotics around a year that's going through withdrawals or has recovered that cold turkey then reinstated.

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Rosetta
On July 29, 2018 at 3:14 PM, RusTW said:

Hi Rosetta. Do you think that the Zoloft amplifies anxiety or any type of OCD Behavior. Now thinking back to last year when I had the health anxiety I'm wondering if the Zoloft actually Amplified that type of anxiety and obsessive thinking while I was taking the 125mg.

 

I believe that for me the Zoloft created and amplified the hoarding OCD.  I have no desire to buy or collect things now - absolutely none.  It's almost as if I am an anti-hoarder now.  I want to get rid of things I need!  What stops me is the effort to go shopping and buy them again and the fact that I hate wasting money.  It's certainly possible that your health anxiety was created or made worse by the AD after the Ativan CT.  My problem was a cold switch from Celexa to Zoloft.  That created OCD.

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RusTW

My initial drug that I had a bad reaction to was 1000mg a day of Cipro begining of last year.After a month on it I crashed.I developed a systematic yeast infection and raging anxiety.I realized it an quit taking it.I was given diflucan a super strong anti fungal.During this time I had what is called Candida die off.A very toxic condition from killing the Candida too fast it releases too much toxin.This is when I screwed up and. CT the ativan.After a week I thought I was dieing.I ended up in the ER reinstated ativan.My system broke down.they tried to put me on bactrim 500 mg in 2 days I had a huge bubble rash that took months to heal.then the zoloft and zyprexa were introduced.So I'm wondering after all this was my CT of seroquel and fast taper of zoloft this year just the icing on my Overcooked Cake

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RusTW

A  very humbling experience I would say.

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Rosetta

Good God!  What was the Cipro for?  

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RusTW

A supposed prostate infection.Cipro killed all of my good gut flora and made everything racy -anxiety.Later I found out how damaging it is to Your brain and nervous system and it could be permanent.The Candida took over my brain and body.

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Rosetta

I'm really sorry that happened.  Sometimes, I think that going to the doctor is more dangerous than not.  I toughed out strep throat once and a sinus infection without antibiotics.  Then I read that strep throat can kill people.  I really have to wonder if strep killed more than the doctors did.  You were experimented on, Rus.  You will get better.  I believe that most of these "permanent damage" reports are made because the doctors do what they did with you.  They keep assaulting the person's system until they have run out of drugs or the person says no more.  Then they say "incurable!"  It's probably not true.

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RusTW

 yesterday I had my clearest window so far I wasn't expecting this the night prior I didn't sleep at all hardly. very minimal symptoms . optimal thinking. euphoria . optimism no OCD thinking. feeling empathy again. Enjoying music . sense memory coming back . feeling in the moment . felt connected to myself in my environment. slept very good last night for about 6 or 7 hours woke up this morning with very minimal anxiety and nausea.

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RusTW

Healing is happening.its real.I'm in the zone now.I hope this stays.I feel more empowered and enlightened from this.During this window everything is clear.I'm feeling better than I have in a long time.

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jonnypeters1234567

great news rus!!

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RusTW

Going back to the GP to get more zoloft and Seroquel today.I will do my best to enlighten her about W/D .She prescribed me the zyprexa.I'm not happy getting more pills.I guess it's the best strategy now to taper.

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RusTW
5 minutes ago, jonnypeters1234567 said:

great news rus!!

Thanks JP.I wish this for all of us.I'm hoping it will stay.I know its there waiting for me if it doesn't stay.

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RusTW
3 minutes ago, RusTW said:

Thanks JP.I wish this for all of us.I'm hoping it will stay.I know its there waiting for me if it doesn't stay.

JP how are you doing?

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jonnypeters1234567

tough day but hanging in threre

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jonnypeters1234567

Everyday feels like im in a new world from the day before

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RusTW

Sorry man.hope sometime soon your world will be familiar and consistent.I really do believe that you having some sense memory coming back is a good sign.This has been happening to me too.I'm remembering things and I can remember how I felt then.this comes and goes.yesterday I was reminiscing with total recall of my feelings.haven't had this for a long time

 

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Rosetta

I'm glad you are feeling better, Rus.

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