success ☼ Ox123: 6 months on Mirtazapine. Reinstate?

[Peter]

On 7/20/2018 at 1:18 PM, Santino said:

Hi friend..

for the anxiety at night... there are some good sleep hypnosis videos in Youtube. Just perform a search and try anyone of them. they were a big help for me during my night anxiety...

All the best Santino

 

Thanks Santino - I’ll give it a try

[Ox123]

Update (day 118 mirt free): just got back home from holiday. I now seem to be having one good day one bad day, but the bad day isnt super intense. My anxiety symptoms are forever changing! 

 

Ive not had any social triggers for a while but my waves seem to just come automatically. Getting to sleep is a walk in the park. Waking up at 4.30am is almost certain most mornings with the anxiety returnung. If i can just get back to sleep i feel i might stabalise quicker. I really think thats why the mirt was effective for me. Kept my sleep in check. Definitely not a long term solution though.

 

Something is happening between going to bed - waking up which i feel i really need to understand more.

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Peter]

Hi Ox

I experience this phenomenon - something seems to happen once one falls asleep. I got diagnosed a few years ago with obstructive sleep apnoea. Apparently when one falls asleep and start to go into the deeper stages of sleep the airway collapses and the body responds by jerking you awake - a jolt of anxiety if you will.

Now the treatment for this is a CPAP machine - Continuous Positive Airway Pressure - where you sleep with a mask on your face with positive air pressure being pumped into the mask. This air pressure keeps your airways from collapsing. I just haven’t been able to tolerate this mask although many seem to. I find that if I do manage to fall asleep with it on I very quickly get woken up because I have moved and knocked it on the pillow destroying the seal between face and mask.

My Dentist made me a mandibular advancement device which moves the lower jaw forward a little and so allowing the airways to be a little wider. I can tolerate this but I still find I wake up with these “anxiety” attacks.

So is this disrupted sleep pattern a result of Mirt withdrawal or a result of the sleep apnoea as the mandibular device ineffective? I don’t know. My wife says I don’t snore with it in and I have recorded my sleep using a standard app on my phone and there doesn’t seem to be anything untoward.

Sleep Apnoea tends to occur when you get older or very overweight but Obstructive Sleep Apnoea can occur in the young and in slim people if the lower jaw is recessed somewhat. Apparently mine is.

Ask your partner if you snore loudly or whether he/she notices anything untoward.

If you think that this could be an issue you can see your GP and ask for a sleep study.

If you have any further insights into this sleep disturbance issue we both seem to have let me know

[Ox123]

Interesting point peter. I dont think I suffer from that as i am a very quiet but light sleeper. I dont wake up in a jolt, its more waking up with a feeling of strong anxiety over nothing, then looking at the clock to see its 4am only makes the anxiety worse along with the reminder that i'm still ill. Something is definitely not functioning properly in my brain so its triggering a stress response, which usually happens during sleep but can also build up when awake. 

 

Ive also noticed during anxiety periods. If i try to nap or go back to sleep on a morning, i get ALOT worse. I can wake up with anxiety but if i try to go back to sleep it forces itself more and more to the forefront of my mind, sometimes even resulting in panic or dispair. 

 

My therapist believes my symptoms relate to GAD but im really hoping its not the case. This doesnt explain my waves/windows pattern though. Most GAD sufferers have symptoms more days than not. Where as I have days/weeks where i have none at all. A sleep study would be ideal, not sure if thats readily available on the NHS, theyll probably just wanna give me pills. 

[Peter]

The link below may help you especially if you have GAD or other similar anxiety issues:

 

http://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/resources/consumers.cfm

 

I think CBT therapists often use this resource

 

 

 

[Ox123]

Thanks for that peter, will take a look.

 

Well im now stuck in a loop of waking up religiously at 4.30am. I also noticed in my dream last night I was talking to people in it as if I was 'unwell' mentally. Interesting! Seems like my subconcious is aware of this too!

 

Had my therapy sessiom yesterday. We skipped past AD withdrawal and began talking about whether being bullied as a kid is playing a role in this. Not sure how i feel about that.

 

Anyway things arent too bad right now. Im feeling fine most the day. Just not sleeping well and mornings have alot of anxiety. Gonna start the health smoothies again by dr rhonda patrick. She seems to promote sulforaphane found in various greens that seems to have a profound effect on the brain and body.

[Ox123]

Day 120(something)..

 

Hurray! Ive been in a window a week now. Beating my last window. I was worried my windows are getting shorter. Not the case. Dont want to jynx myself but who cares, need to post some positivity here. My last wave happened on holiday, had 1 crying spell and a couple of down days, very fast wave! Usually if im crying its a sign im stuck for weeks in that mental state.

 

Although im still waking up at half 4 im not anxious. I think its just habbit now as ive been doing it for weeks. Ive changed a few things the past week.

 

Im at a new gym, much better place with newer equipment, pool, jacuuzi, sauna etc. I have too many bad memories at the old one. Mainly of me forcing myself to go when feeling a suicidal anxious mess. Im also using shakes daily. Im staying off the coffee as it just messes with my mood, cant believe how snappy i get from it!

 

For some reason at this stage my libido has come back to its pre mirtazapine level. I think thats a good thing. More updates soon.

[Ox123]

Update:

 

Things are still ok, im almost 100% apart from the early morning wakenings. This was normal for me before mirtazapine though.

 

I dont feel im in the clear just yet though, im still having triggering moments when i worry too much about something which can leave me feeling off for a day or so. Also I do feel some very minor underlying anxiety which does come and go sometimes. Its now 4 months since my last dose of mirtazapine. I hope i can continue to stay med free.

 

Still continueing with my smoothies which Ive been researching alot and seem to be helping get the right nutrients in!

[Peter]

Well that’s really good news. Yes worrying too much can be a very bad habit. I think one has to try to evaluate why one does this. A bit of worry is good as it alerts you into taking positive action but too much becomes quickly counterproductive. Meditation does teach you the skills to allow worrisome thoughts to just pass through without getting attached to them.

 

You said in an earlier message that from time to time you had self loathing issues. I think many of us from time to time feel like that. At those times I try to imagine that I am a friend of myself and what would that friend think of me. Would that friend loathe me? If so why would he? Chances are there is nothing to loathe which suggests that one is being overly harsh and overly unforgiving about oneself. I think one has to learn to start loving oneself.

 

For myself it is now 24 weeks since my last dose. I am feeling a lot better and at times feel more like my old self. Disrupted sleep still a problem which in itself puts one in a lowish mood and creates its own feelings of anxiety.

Still do my daily meditation and progressive muscle relaxation - the latter helping with the physical discomforts of tension and the former with mental relaxation.

I guess time will be the great healer although I do sometimes despair of ever getting a good solid peaceful night’s sleep.  To just wake up in the morning feeling refreshed, calm and reinvigorated is my nirvana.

 

Onwards and upwards

[Poulesportive]

Ox and Peter,

 

Two more thoughts on anxiety and insomnia - my biggest foes. So many people on the Facebook group "Cymbalta Hurts Worse" (16,000+ people tapering off Cymbalta) recommend a diet high in healthy natural fats (coconut oil and ghee are two of the most-recommended) that I've tried to get back on my morning smoothie routine - it is tough to keep up as we're constantly running out of fresh fruit & veggies and it's more labor intensive on a busy morning than just grabbing a yogurt. 

 

One of the "must read" files on that group is about nutrient therapy (vs. AD meds) for a variety of conditions including anxiety, I found it fascinating: https://www.walshinstitute.org/biochemical-individuality--nutrition.html.  I'm still tapering, but as I get closer to the end I'm considering seeing a local holistic psychiatrist who offers nutrient therapy: https://www.shawmd.com/advancednutrienttherapy

 

I am also now sleeping with a sleep mask that is just tight enough that it doesn't slip off. This has me sleeping until 7 AM at least several mornings a week!

 

[Ox123]

Peter - glad to see youre doing well. Yeah i have the self loathing issues. Also since my first anxiety attack I seem to react differently to stressful events, something switches on in my brain which sends me into panic. This is something I need to try and unlearn. Im getting back into meditation too as advised by my therapist. My 5am wakenings arent much an issue at the moment as Im able to get back to sleep. Are you still having any anxiety peter? I have none right now but i do dip in and out of it every few weeks usually.

 

Poulesport:

I will check that link out. Natural fats cant be a bad thing. Also google sulfurophane (forgot the spelling). A chemical with many benefits found in vegetables, including reducing anxiety. Ive massively reduced my refined sugar intake now and its visible in my physique. My smoothie i have daily contains: spinach/kale, carrot, tomato, banana, blueberrie, apple, ground assorted nuts. I also started playing football weekly again which im happy about. Glad to see your sleep improving also. For me my body clock is just screwed rather than light getting in i think. Ive always been an early riser, open to trying anything though!

 

 

[Peter]

Hi Ox

I think the extreme reaction to stressful events is a result of an “over sensitised nervous system”. If you read Claire Weekes’ book “Self Help for your Nerves” this helps one to understand what is happening and what to do about it. Also the Podcast “Anxiety Coaches Podcast” is very helpful in explaining this - they use Claire Weekes’ as their guiding light I think.

Your meditation  will really help with this as you learn to just sit quietly through such an attack. In TM (Transcendental Meditation) they just say that it is the brain releasing stress and is therefore a good thing and so can be welcomed.

Regards my anxiety this is now in the more normal range - not quite right yet but a million miles away from that brutal withdrawal anxiety I suffered a few months ago.

I had to do a few short speeches recently and whilst the anxiety was stronger than what one would wish for it was nevertheless manageable.

So, Ox, start getting into meditation on a daily basis - it’s a great tool and will change your life for the better.

Great that you are playing football again - nothing quite like a team game with your mates and the camaraderie after the game to get a new more positive perspective on everything.

 

Poulesportive - how did the TM introduction go? Pursue it - I can’t speak highly enough not only of the technique but also of the Philosophy behind it and the support that is given.

I had my most successful night last night with my CPAP mask. Did some research yesterday and found that if you use a mandibular device with the mask then this stops the jaw dropping back. This stops those confounded air leaks and helps to keep the airways more open when going into a deeper sleep. Actually got 6 hours last night - a marked improvement.

 

I am now nearly 6 months since I had my last dose of Mirtazipine and can report quite categorically that I am feeling more normal and definitely more stable. The body and mind WILL self correct given time. To help the healing process on its way use the tools of meditation, yoga, progressive muscle relaxation and above all be gentle on yourself.

 

Read the words of the poem Desiderata - they are I believe a profound guide on how to live one’s life - a creed to live by.

 

 

[Ox123]

Great to know youre doing well peter! I agree about the over sensitised nerve system.

 

Its now day 130 something Mirtazapine free. Im still feeling good. This current good spell has lasted about 3 weeks. Am I 100%? Not quite. Do I think about being ill again every day? Definitely. My anxiety has resided to early mornings and is only about 10% as strong as it was during the first 3 months coming off the tablets. Yes I do feel that mirtazapine aggrivated my anxiety but I feel lucky to be on the other side of it. 

 

Im still getting weekly therapy and i still swear by my morning veg/fruit smoothy and exercise. Im drinking coffee occasionally, but mostly green tea. Im still yet to start meditation again. Im just being lazy here. Things in my work/hobby life are going really well. Im now just trying to keep a stable steady mentality, not dwelling on things too much and observing my triggering moments rather than being scared of them. 

 

I've proved to myself now that when I become anxious it wont last for weeks and this has given me alot of motivation. Fingers crossed things continue to go well! 

[Peter]

Hi Ox

That is really good news and yes I get that kind of “am I still ill thought”. I think it will take a little time to get over the trauma of what we’ve been through. It’s very unsettling isn’t it that you can’t take your mental health for granted. I think that’s why I will always now continue my meditation - the meditation teachers do say that we spend a lot of time on keeping our physical self fit and healthy and do very little for our mental health.

I am gradually feeling better and better and I am now beginning to sleep much better although I am still awakened between 3 and 4 in the morning with “anxiety do’s” but they are less intense now. Paradoxically despite getting better sleep I feel more tired - perhaps that is just the body and mind playing catch up.

On a positive note all the techniques of coping and correct thinking we have learnt on the way will stand us in very good stead for the future and I think we should take comfort in the fact that we had the will power and courage to get through the nightmare.

Anyway keep in touch

[Ox123]

Hi peter yes i still get the early morning wakenings but I think its more habbit now than anything. Before my first anxiety episode i was always an early waker so it doesnt concern me too much.

 

I'm seeing more and more of my friends develop quite serious anxiety which is alarming considering we are all in our late 20s. And all have taken or taking medication...

 

How is your meditation routine? Im still yet to start it, which i need to since this week is my last therapy session. Im still getting occasional anxiety when I worry about something but ive been feeling good for almost a month now which is the biggest window Ive had since I came off the tablets in march!

[Peter]

I have found the guided meditations that are used in the Headspace app the best way to get into the habit of meditation. The Headspace guru also gives informative mini “lectures” which gives a deeper understanding of the workings of the mind and really motivates you to keep doing it. I would really recommend you get the app and get meditation into your routine.

As for my progress it’s been a little rough the past 10 days. When I sent you the last message I was doing fine and felt very sure the worst was over - then the following night without any warning I awoke at 1:30am in a quite fearful state. There was nothing that I could pin it down to. This wave lasted several days and to be quite honest I felt quite despairing. Anyway it’s passed now and I felt almost normal yesterday - so normal in fact that after the golf competition I stayed socialising and of course having a few beers. Bad mistake - bad night last night thanks to the alcohol - I just hope I haven’t set off another wave. But it’s so nice to just feel normal again and enjoying life albeit only for a few hours.

Bad news about your friends developing serious anxiety - but at least you young ones can talk about it with one another. My generation certainly seem to stigmatise the issue of mental health as a weakness so one tends to keep it to oneself. But perhaps that’s just what I think that is what people think!

Your generation have far less job security than perhaps my generation and have to borrow much greater sums of money. While you owe money the banks have the whip hand and you are always under pressure - you can’t afford to be ill. 

I think apart from anything else that’s why learning meditation and a different philosophy on life is such a good tool to have in your armoury.

Pleased to hear you a feeling so much better - every day you’re getting stronger and stronger - a good thought to have.

Taje care

[Ox123]

Definitely going to do this, this week!

Yes it's so weird how it can randomly come back even whilst asleep. I've had the random return of anxiety happen to me a few times. Can be quite concerning as it feels like you're back to square one. But we forget about the windows we had before which is the one reason we must keep going.

I do think the younger generation have the extra burdon of financial issues adding to mental health, but I think the main culprit is narcotics. It's the norm to do it as a young adult now, not to mention certain psychadelics becoming more and more popular. I have so many friends that have triggered underlying mental health issues from using them. Not to mention we're all glued to social media, and not actually being out in the real world. Something our brains weren't designed to do!

Looks like you're on your way out of the last wave. Remember we still arent even a year off our medication. So expecting full recovery right now is naive. I am not 100% right now, I do have some very minor residual worry, which I noticed appeared when I heard about my friend struggling. But ill discuss this with my therapist today and see how I manage on my own for a few weeks. I would carry on my therapy indefinitely but due to the cost it feels better to only use it during the hardest times.

[Ox123]

Ok today has been pretty unpleasant. I think the worry about my friends being severly ill with anxiety alongside me stopping my therapy has nudged me back to feeling uneasy. It's been at low levels all day but occasionally building up a little, then going. My therapist said that if I decide to come back, we should try tackling other issues to do with my life, like childhood etc. Rather than just the anxiety/itself. He has dissmissed mirtazapine withdrawal since its been like 5 months since my last dose.

To be fair, I've been back to my usual ways this past month. Back to drinking coffee, not going for morning runs. having the occasional beer. Whenever I recover I tend to slip back into bad habbits since the anxiety is nowhere to be seen, need to start being more pro-active!

For some reason, over the past month I have got into the habbit of waking up at least once per night, (3 or 4am). I dont feel anxious at this time, just wake up quickly. I will then put the TV on until i fall back to sleep again till around 6. I used to wake up at 5am pre anxiety anyway, but I cant see this having a positive effect on my mental health regardless. Maybe its due to the late night snacking/drinking. I'll try with no supper tonight and see how i feel. Also Im not sure its related but I have had alot of injuries lately from the gym/football, I read somewhere that the body repairs itself during certain times when asleep. So I'm probably putting myself at risk to alot of long standing injuries and inflammation.

 

[Peter]

Hi Ox

Look on SA at the section Symptoms and Self Care - Are we there yet? - how long is Withdrawal Going to take?

 

This does go into the fact that even though the drugs are out of the system the brain chemistry takes quite a while - at least six months to make the necessary chemical changes and for things to return to normal.

I don’t want to decry your therapist but I doubt if they are experts in AD withdrawal.

 

I think when one has been through a very anxious period and has suffered greatly distressing symptoms one is almost bound to become anxious about getting anxious. The key thing here is to ACCEPT this and ACCEPT the symptoms - go with them - don’t fight them or try to push them away as you will set up a negative spiral.

Honestly the Headspace Meditation app teaches you this - and remember you can at any time during the day just close your eyes and meditate just for a few minutes to allow negative feelings to flow through.

The more you practise as with everything the better you will get at it.

Regards finishing therapy (not sure what therapy you have been having CBT perhaps?) you will feel anxious about that as you are breaking a support channel. - but that will pass.

The best advice that I ever had, paradoxically, was that you WILL feel anxious - and this is just normal human experience. The more we just allow the anxiety to just be the more we realise and the subconscious realises there is no danger. It then over a period of time just fizzles out. Again I believe meditation accelerates this progress.

Hope this helps. 

[Ox123]

Thanks peter, the self help guides did help me sleep last night, even though i woke every hour with adrenaline surges. Rough night...

 

Its weird how this thing snowballs so fast. I was doing great! And yes it was partially CBT that I was doing.

 

Still finding it hard to accept this is a normal experience since ive never really been panicky or anxious for long periods of time with no reason. I have the headspace app now so ive started it. 

 

Hopefully this wave doesnt last so long so i can continue to heal.. 

[Peter]

You will probably feel “fragile” today. At this particular time just take on day at a time, one hour at a time, one minute at a time - it keeps you in the moment and helps to stop those negative catastrophising thoughts which only serve to overstimulate your already sensitised nervous system.

You can only deal with what’s happening in this moment, you can’t deal with what will happen in the future. You can plan for the future but you can’t deal with it now.

 

Be assured your system will settle down on its own if you sit back and let it. You don’t have to do anything!

 

Good luck today

[Peter]

By the way on the Headspace app there is a mini meditation called Panic Stations and another one called Burn Out

[Peter]

Ox -

go to this website:

http://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/~/media/CCI/Mental Health Professionals/Generalised Anxiety/Generalised Anxiety - Information Sheets/Generalised Anxiety Information Sheet - 02 - What is Mindfulness.pdf

 

I have also uploaded the PDF of this

 

Peter

Generalised Anxiety Information Sheet - 02 - What is Mindfulness.pdf

[Ox123]

Thanks for this peter. I have tried mindfulness before but it tends to go out the window when im not in a wave! I tried the headspace app this morning. Will continue it for the next 10 days. Not feeling too bad now, still anxious but its managable. Yeah i am fragile too. Just trying to keep busy at work and not getting too caught up in the "Am i permanently ill" mentality.

[Ox123]

Slept over my partners last night and got alot more sleep, still waking up every other hour but i was able to get back to sleep and wasnt panicking when I woke. I did have a weird dream though about seeing a therapist and asking what was wrong with me but not being able to get the right answer, suppose that kinda reflects the current situation with my therapist though. Also went out for my morning run for a quick 10 minute burst which I swear is the best thing for me during these waves. I think mainly because it allows me to escape the early morning thought train and gives the stress hormones a chance to stop building up. 

I've done meditaiton before but as i said I got lazy and didnt feel I needed to do it anymore since my anxiety is on and off in blocks of days/weeks. I'm doing it again though with the headspace app. And noticing just how busy my mind is, even so early on a morning! Just jumbled up thoughts about random stuff, infact so random I've completely forgotten what I was thinking about and I only did the meditation 5 minutes ago.

Fingers crossed for an anxiety free day, for yourself Peter and anyone else reading this. 


 

[Peter]

In the Headspace app, under settings, there is an Obstacles heading. Might be worth your while looking at the various titles in this. They do help to give you greater understanding of what is happening and how to deal with obstacles that arise in meditation.

It’s not a quick fix - more of a skill you get better at the more you practice.

The more you explore the app the greater your understanding will become.

[Ox123]

Ahh yes I'm gonnna watch those! I think I have just dodged a full on wave there. I've been feeling ok since it happened on Tuesday. Although I'm still having the residual anxiety stuff that follows a wave! And by 'residual anxiety' I can only describe it as a very minor feeling of worry/unease. I notice it come and go, it never stays but when its there it changes my thoughts from positive to negative. There's no realism behind it, no single event that propels it, just a 'slightly damaged' feeling in my thoughts.

On a positive note, the current anxiety is about 10% of what it has been when I first came off Mirtazapine and isn't really stopping me doing anything now. Although I did turn down a gig last night as I didnt want to put too much stress on myself.

Hope you are doing well on this not so fine day today Peter!


 

[Peter]

Hi Ox

If you are using the Headspace app the daily meditation today is “stepping out of the cycle”.

You might find it useful and reassuring.

Hope you are continuing to improve.

I’ve had a rough 3 days - had been feeling a lot better then succumbed to a few drinks to really enjoy post golf camaraderie on Saturday  - enough to trigger an episode starting 1:30 am Sunday morning. Just beginning to stabilise again and it’s now 7am Wednesday. Clearly my nervous system is not ready yet so must avoid alcohol for a while yet.

Keep well

Peter

[Ox123]

Hey peter, i have started using it. Missed a couple of days this week though. Things havent been bad lately. Everytime I say im fine i seem to come crashing back down not long after, but on the whole im seeing massive improvement. Im hoping this is just indeed a phase of my life that i will get over.

 

Yes definitely keep off the alcohol! You dont need it! The fact you are forgetting how bad it makes you is a sign you have your life back though. Theres a time when anxiety is so bad we assess every choice we are making incase its making us worse. How are you when you arent in a wave? Do you feel 100%? 

 

Ill have the occasional beer which doesnt seem to trigger me. I have to avoid excess worrying though incase it triggers me again. Im still filling out my mood diary and ive now surpassed more good days than bad since stopping Mirt. I still get minor heart palpatations though which are totally random. Something that seems to linger over this past year after my first attack. 

 

 

 

 

[SkyBlue]

On 8/26/2018 at 8:17 AM, Ox123 said:

On a positive note, the current anxiety is about 10% of what it has been when I first came off Mirtazapine and isn't really stopping me doing anything now.

 

That's great, Ox. 

 

It sounds like you are experiencing the "waves and windows" talked about here (that seems to be what happens when things go from "Great; I'm fine!" to "what happened?":  https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/82-the-windows-and-waves-pattern-of-stabilization/

 

Glad to know you are seeing improvements. : ) 

 

[Peter]

This last wave has been going on for nearly a week now and the symptoms of anxiety, very disrupted sleep and now some depression have been very severe. It is now just over 28 weeks since complete withdrawal and I have to ask the question is this still part of the recovery process or is the original condition returning? I very much fear that it could be the latter. The symptoms returned very suddenly in the middle of the night a week ago after feeling much better.

Does anyone else get that feeling of absolute dread that they are regressing at times like this?

[Ox123]

Hi Peter, how arr you today? And you said you were feeling much better until this wave struck. So you were 100% before it happened? Or were you having mild symptoms? 

[Peter]

I had been feeling much better but not symptom free - for instance early morning weakening with mild anxiety symptoms which dissipated through the day.

Feel much better today but again not symptom free - mild an manageable. Had a more sound night’s sleep last night, awoke at 3:30am with the sudden but milder anxiety symptoms, got up and Headspaced(!), went back to bed at 4:30am and actually fell back to sleep.

On looking back during the last week there has been some conflict situations with people upsetting the Applecart as it were (I am VC of a golf club). It seems that if a stressful event occurs at a time when feeling “fragile” my nervous system doesn’t seem to be able to take it and crashes again - if you know what I mean.

It’s all a bit like having a very over sensitised startle reflex. The question I ask myself - is this caused by the AD withdrawal and the nervous system is still in a state of flux - still recovering or is it still the results of the extremely long protracted stress situation I went through? Perhaps a bit of both but I wonder how long it takes for robustness to return - the answer to that is bound to be “how long is a piece of string?” Any thoughts on this?.

Hope you are still feeling OK

[Ox123]

Hey peter apologies for not replying. I hope things are starting to return to normal for you. I know exactly what you mean by stressful situations setting you off again. Ive suffered this many times when i first had anxiety. Any situation that stressed me which wasnt normal stress would trigger me again. I think the robustness will take years to gain back as those old pathways that lead to anxiety are remapped. Ive been living life as i did pre-anxiety and it seems to be working. I still swear by doing fitness and high nutrient smoothies on a morning. Anyway keep me updated!

 

 

[Peter]

Hi Ox

Not heard from you for quite a while so I hope things are looking up for you and your health has stabilised.

i’ve been struggling for the last three weeks so I suppose I am in a wave - usual symptoms severe anxiety and continued sleep disruption. It has been nearly nine months now since complete withdrawal and I was really expecting that all this was behind me - it kind of comes as a double whammy.

Anyway let me know how you are doing.

Peter

[Ox123]

Hey peter, yeah ive been really good lately. Sleeping all night for the first time in about 2 years. Im not meditating now but i am still eating my super smoothies most mornings and also lots of gym sauna and cold showers. I read somewhere that anxiety was actually inflammation of the brain so Ive been trying to do all the right things to help my body repair any damage caused from last years issues.

 

The main thing ive noticed is my triggers arent there, im not sinking into severe anxiety when I hear news about death, mental illness or other triggering subjects. This was the main thing that kept my anxiety going for so long last year. I havent been getting heart palpatations or sudden dread/panic which is a huge milestone for me. 

 

I hope you are coming out your wave, i really wouldnt put a timeframe on recovery. But change is definitely needed. Diet, exercise, how you spend your days, time alone, who youre surrounded by all play a big part in how anxiety can manifest. 

 

I actually binned all my mirtazapine tablets last week, which i was keeping for an 'emergency'. Im still filling in my mood diary once a week. 

 

Im not going to call this complete recovery as its only been a few months. But ill continue to update this thread occasionally as time goes on.