success ☼ Ox123: 6 months on Mirtazapine. Reinstate?

[Peter]

Really great news that you are feeling so much better - very encouraging for all of us.

I am still struggling at the moment despite being on holiday in Portugal - I drove down beginning of October and we come back beginning of November. Driving I hasten to add doesn’t stress me at all - if anything I find it quite a calming activity (except of course during rush hours)

I am still not sure what my triggers are although any alcohol seems to ramp up my symptoms. 

Your inflammation in the brain suggestion seems to make sense - what are you doing to reduce this?

Just thinking out loud but a year last May I became ill with an autoimmune condition called Polmyalgia Rheumatica which is caused by high levels of inflammation in the body. I was put on a high dose of steroids to reduce the inflammation and as the condition improved have had to taper off the steroids over 15 months. I have just finished the tapering so I am now steroid free. It makes me wonder whether this has compounded the coming off Mirt problem and ramped up the symptoms.

Anyway what do you do to reduce the so called inflammatory levels in the brain? What foods/drinks do you avoid? Supplements you take?

So pleased you are feeling better - so very important at your age.

Keep in touch

[Ox123]

Hey Peter, I'm not sure exactly what reduces inflammation but Ive been drinking a smoothy by Doctor Rhonda Patrick (On Youtube) which has stuff in like Kale, tomato, banana, blueberry, rasberry, ground nuts. I do think that looking into inflammation reduction would definitely not be a bad thing (please keep me updated if you find anything). I have been sticking to the exercise though, also sauna/cold showers past 6 months.

Thanks for the praise. I won't call this complete recovery as I can still be thrown off a little for a day if something worries me too much. Had a bit of a mini ultimatum off the Gf last night which does seem to have affected me this morning, even though i didn't feel greatly concerned on the surface, weird!

I've read here that the ones who have basically recovered only really suffer with very brief moments of anxiousness rather than say days/weeks at a time. I guess that is where we want to be. I've not had any major triggers for a while though. To be honest I havent been as strict with my health as I probably should have been lately. I've started to go to parties again once every other week and drink. Also staying up late on games and stuff. 

It's a very tricky thing to keep track of even when you feel 100%. I'm finding that my brain just wants to enjoy it's guilty pleasures and not think about the consequences. Need to pull the reigns in a bit and keep myself right.  

Yes I also agree driving helps alot. Long periods of driving have helped me through severe anxious periods. just focusing on another task is one of the only things you can do in these situations. 

[Ox123]

I Thought I'd post another update for both anyone reading this and yourself Peter. A summary of my current progress would be that I am 100% most of the time meaning I literally feel fine with no symptoms. To think I could make that progress is something I am very grateful for after suffering 3 week waves of severe anxiety and low mood that would fluctuate from day-to-day. For me anxiety has not really been a disturbance to my life, I have experienced 'natural' anxiety in the past but it has never overspilled into my wellbeing until my problems last year prior to and after taking Mirtazapine. I'm not going to blame Mirtazapine solely for severe anxiety as my first major wave occured before this, which then continued during my withdrawal phase which lasted about 6 months. I came off in March completely and went very ill until slowly progressing to a more stable mindset. Since around July I've had both moments where I feel I'm going to lose it again (Im sure many of you know what I mean). Ive also had 'triggers' since then which have caused me to feel 'off' for a few days. But distractions and help from close ones have helped iron this out and enabled me to get back to my normal self, for months at a time.

So now it's been 7 months since I stopped the medication. In terms of physical symptoms, I had a whole host of weird ones that Im sure came from Mirtazapine. Nose bleeds, joint pain (most noticable at the gym), rectal pain to name a few. Most of these have gone now, although I do experience pain in my thorax when sneezing (could be related to the drug) but this isn't a big issue to me. The anxiety I experienced when coming off the drug was almost as severe as it was when I started taking it. Thankfully that has dropped to an average of maybe 2/60 days based on my mood diary.

Has my anxiety gone completely? Definitely not, I can still be triggered by worry which seems to be my main demon. Certain situations where I feel there will be long term stress involved can be enough to cause me to feel bad for a few days (example: relationship worries, work worries etc). On the plus side I am noticing that these dont seem to last very long though, 2 days feeling sh*t is way better than the 3 week waves I was getting. I'm currently experiencing a some anxiety from a tough course Im about to start but it should pass just like before.

I've tried to eliminate anything that mix exacerbate my anxiety like a change in diet, im no longer consuming as much sugar. I have started drinking socially and partying which doesnt seem to affect the anxiety. I guess being positive and not worried is the key to keeping this managed. Am I in the clear then? I honestly think that after a major episode we are at slight risk to becoming ill again, probably due to memory pathways that have been paved in the brain and still accessible somehow. That being said, good management is the best way to prevent it from happening again.

I'll continue to update here when I feel best. Hoping for a great December for everyone and a fresh start in 2019 where we will continue to see progress.





 

[ChessieCat]

Thanks for the update.  Sounds like you are doing reasonably well considering everything.

 

You might find this topic helpful:  are-we-there-yet-how-long-is-withdrawal-going-to-take

 

 

And some links to non drug stuff:

 

Check out Claire Weekes.  She was a doctor who suffered from anxiety and learned and taught ways of coping.  There are videos available on YouTube.

 

Claire Weekes' Method of Recovering from a Sensitized Nervous System

 

Audio:  How to Recover from Anxiety - Dr Claire Weekes

 

I suggest you check out these links and gather some tools:

 

Audio:  First Aid for Panic (4 minutes)

Non-drug techniques to cope

 

dealing-with-emotional-spirals

 

Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) for anxiety, depression

 

CBT Course:  An Introductory Self-Help Course in Cognitive Behaviour Therapy

Resources:  Centre for Clinical Interventions (PDF modules that you can work through, eg:  Depression, Distress Intolerance, Health Anxiety, Low Self-Esteem, Panic Attacks, Perfectionism, Procrastination, Social Anxiety, Worrying)

 

Anxiety Stuff - all kinds of stuff about anxiety attacks and things that help ...
 

"AAF: Acknowledge, Accept, Float.  It's what you have to do when nothing else works, and can be a very powerful tool in coping with anxiety.  The neuroemotional anxiety many of us feel during WD is directly caused by the drugs and their chemical reactions in the brain.  Making it so there is nothing we can do about them.  They won't respond to other drugs, relaxation techniques and the like.  They do, however, react very well to being ignored.  That's the concept behind AAF.  Acknowledge, get to know the feeling involved, explore them.  Accept, These feelings are a part of you and they aren't going anywhere fast. Float, let the feeling float off as you get on with your life as best as you can.  It's a well documented fact that the more you feed in to anxiety the worse it gets.  What starts as generalized neuroemotinal anxiety can be easily blown into a full fledged panic attack just by thinking about it.

 

I often liken it to an unwanted house guest.  At first you talk to them, have conversations, communicate with them.  After a while you figure out that they aren't leaving and there is nothing you can do to get rid of them.  So you go on about your day, working around them until they get bored and leave.

 

It can take some practice, but AAF really does work.  I hope you give it a try."

[Ox123]

Thanks for those links CC, hugely useful stuff there I'll get stuck into over the next few days.

I can relate to the unwanted house guest scenario! Only added factor now is that the guest is rarely there, so i forget about them until they come knocking. By that time I've forgotten my coping techniques and we end up having a brawl until eventually i always lose and they walk out on their own (a few days later)...

As I fill in my mood diary its starting to show me that I'm not really suffering from a 'disorder' or at least it doesnt feel like it. The psychologist I saw was trying to categorise me and the closest he could come to was GAD. Which states that the patient feels that way for 6 months or more. My anxiety seems to dissapear completely until something really worrying pops up. 

My goal now is to become resistant to worries/stress just like I was before 2017. Ive noticed that I can become stressed or worried but it doesnt always trigger anxiety. For me to become anxious I usually have to worry in a cycle, meaning that if i think about something and i dont resolve it in my own head, it has the potential to trigger me.  Example: I am about to start a course, I know it will be very hard but I am preparing now so that I am ready to succeed at it > If I dont truly believe this I will question it again, and the cycle begins.  These types of thoughts are the ones that are most destructive to me. Prior to 2017, I still had these cyclic worrying thoughts, but for some reason which baffles me, it never triggered anxiety. It's only happened since my first major episode. It almost feels like it has been unlocked.

On a more positive note, I have been enjoying my life lately which i mentioned in my previous reply. I was told by a sibling that "Once Im on these tablets I'll never get off them". Im glad to know thats not the case. I was recently promoted at work and my side career is flourishing. I rarely stand back and observe my achievements but I suppose writing it down here allows me to appreciate them more.



 

[ChessieCat]

5 hours ago, Ox123 said:

I was told by a sibling that "Once Im on these tablets I'll never get off them". Im glad to know thats not the case.

 

Yay!!!  And so say all of us (SA members).  I've managed to get down from 100mg to 5.5mg.  And I was told that I needed the AD like a diabetic needs insulin.  What absolute rubbish.

 

5 hours ago, Ox123 said:

I can relate to the unwanted house guest scenario! Only added factor now is that the guest is rarely there, so i forget about them until they come knocking. By that time I've forgotten my coping techniques and we end up having a brawl until eventually i always lose and they walk out on their own (a few days later)...

 

🤣  It's good that they rarely visit now.  One thing that I have found helpful when I'm feeling worse is to assess things.  I consider what is going on.  I ask myself am tired, hungry, sick, in pain, worried about something, or has something external triggered the way I am feeling, am I hot, cold, uncomfortable for some reason like noise, glare etc.  But like you, sometimes it can take a bit of time before I recognise that something is amiss.

[Ox123]

Quick update since I dont visit here as often. Things are going very well. Havent been suffering with any forms of anxiety for a while now. Been med free for around 9 months. Even though i withdrew fast and crashed hard i did somehow return to normal. Exams (boo) and holidays (yay) coming up soon so lots of stress/relaxation!

 

Just keeping myself in reasonable shape. Trying to cut caffeine and nicotine down, im not drinking too often.

 

Hope anyone reading this gets some benefit from my thread!

[Carmie]

Hi Ox123, 

 

I was glad to hear that you were doing so well in January. How are you feeling now, after being off the meds for about a year or so?

 

Sending hugs🤗

[Ox123]

Thanks for checking on me. Yep, things are back to normal now. Appreciating feeling good in my own skin every single day! 

 

Haven't got any lasting symptoms to mention. Im back to training alot, physically theres no major issues, a couple of niggles here and there but i am 30 this year and have given my body a good hammering over the years!

 

obviously i havent forgot about the feeling of 'losing it', very occasionally i will feel that memory come back but it seems that 'barrier' is now there again unlike when I was withdrawing from the Mirt where I could fly off the handle within seconds from any worrying thought and spend up to 3 weeks in an anxious state. 

 

I remember having moments or windows during my recovery which felt like a message from my subconcious, telling me just to keep going as this would not last forever. Im glad I took this seriously, as those windows slowly began to grow bigger and stronger. 

 

Since its now been over a year since I stopped Mirt. These are the thoughts ive come away with:

 

- not reinstating was a good thing for me. It seemed i wasnt taking it long enough for a fast withdrawal to have permanent effects

- exercise was one of the biggest and only tools i had for imediate relief from anxiety

- the ultimate healer for me was time

- checking in with myself or chatting to myself in the car has and still is theraputic

- maintaining good sleep is essential

- people forget what state i was in

- i feel wiser and more emotionally aware now 

 

 

[Carmie]

Hi Ox123, 

 

How wonderful you are doing so well. Thank you so much for sharing💚

[Carmie]

Because you're feeling better, I added our cheerful "here comes the sun" symbol ☼ to the title of your Intro topic, to show you're recovering.

 

Please continue to let us know how you're doing. I hope you will add your story to our Recovery Success Stories eventually!

[Ox123]

On 4/21/2019 at 3:58 AM, Carmie said:

Because you're feeling better, I added our cheerful "here comes the sun" symbol ☼ to the title of your Intro topic, to show you're recovering.

 

Please continue to let us know how you're doing. I hope you will add your story to our Recovery Success Stories eventually!

Success story posted but seems it hasn't been approved. Hopefully someone gets round to doing this. 

[manymoretodays]

Getting round to it.  And thank you Ox123.

As is custom, I'll lock your introduction topic now.......that just means comments will now go onto your Success Story Thread.

Which is here:

Members may post to you there now.  And you can still post support and encouragement, any of your experiences that may be helpful, on other members threads.

 

Many thanks to you for posting your success.

Love, peace, continued healing, and growth,

moderator manymoretodays (mmt)

 

Yay!  Good job!  Very proud of you!  Balloons, streamers and !!!!!!!!  Big smile and hug.  Medals.  In all seriousness. 

Edited November 26, 2019 by manymoretodays