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If not for my stepmother...

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I need to vent over here as opposed to on my encapsulated bubble of introduction thread, where I feel so anonymous and invisible ...

This is probably a very entitled, "oh woe is me" post.


Haven't worked in 3 years (only now ready for Vocational Rehab). Totally stopped functioning while on my highest dose of Zoloft. Have begun my withdrawing journey back then. My only financial safety net, a family member who lives far away, has been supporting me since then, otherwise I'd be on the street. I don't want to live near them, as they are toxic (he molested me as a kid). He sends me a minimal set amount each month, but emergencies come up, and he has to send me cash to cover them, behind my stepmother's back.. as she goes through all his finances. She doesn't understand me at all, or anything I'm going through, and he said it's been very hard for him to support me, because they sometimes fight over him doing it. He said he'd support me more, if he wasn't with her. They're both in very good health. I think he earns a good amount... they have two houses... he's a senior engineer. He now said he can't cover my emergencies in the same way as in the past.


I just wish I had a little more security, knowing that if things get really bad when I'm down to 1mg of Zoloft, I'd have a backup. I frantically emailed my voc rehab case worker for dates of my preliminary evaluations. She called me right back and said mid July. And that I can either work or train full time to become Animal Caregiver (which I really want to do), but not BOTH. So somehow I'll have to pull my supporter's strings a bit more. And hope to god that my new roommate, whoever they are (my beloved roommate of 3 years is moving out) will be a good, responsible person and will always pay their rent on time.


Just asking for positive thoughts and "prayers".

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Hi there @Stormstrong,


Relate to much of what you said on your post and I know that feeling of "invisibility" on my Intro thread; frankly, I never see my posts in "new content" but obviously others do which gratifies. Your situation sounds rough, rough. The lack of security and being supported by someone who molested you -- wow. I was molested too as a child. And, I, too, was on Zoloft and know that it is an ongoing struggle to move through the withdrawal. I read the Success Stories here (esp. @pug) as that person successfully recovered from Zoloft and comes back to provide info and encouragement -- I've probably read that success story five times.


As for being an animal caregiver, I supplement finances by using Rover.com to dog-sit. Admittedly, where I live (Seattle) is a lot of need here but depending on where you are at in the city, you may have good options. Check it out at least.


You got this. Stay strong!

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