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☼ Windsor77: Celexa - it's time for peace


Windsor77

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Snowy- I wouldn’t say what I have is a tremor in the traditional sense.  I feel a shakiness in my muscles when I am using them.  When I sit still, I don’t move at all. Just notice it like when I am using a fine paint brush to model.  

I had the shaky feeling before citalopram but not the jerking that I get at bed time, nor the muscle twitches.  I too think these are a result of citalopram.  I have found many med papers on the extrapyrimidal symptoms which citalopram and other ssri’s can mimic.   Though I still worry about a neurological disease, (hypochondria is one of the reasons I took ssri) logic and fact tells me that this all started with the ssri changes I made.   I believe this is just a withdrawal symptom.   Hang in there and don’t go to fast like I did.  I went through unnecessary hell last year by decreasing too quickly.  

Zoloft- 2010-2014 Lexa Aug 2015 Oct2017 Zoloft 50mg. Dec 17-May18

Cital 10mg May-18 to July 16 18

9.0 cital to 6.5mg,  July 30 18

7.0 mg cital liquid - until 11/23/18 /5.0 mg cital liquid - 7-13-19 4.6mg cital liquid - 7-14-19 - 8-13-19/4.2mg cital liquid - 8-14-19 - 9-13-19/4.0 mg cital liquid - 9-14-19- 11-20-19 -3.8mg-11/19-1-20. 3.7mg 6-20 3.2mg currently at 3.0mg cital liquid. 
2/20 added sodium alginate for gerd - caused updose. 

pantoprazole added 6/20. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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It’s officially a wave.  Heart rate up, morning anxiety, sleeping is interrupted.  Frustrating.  I am honestly ready to go back to a therapeutic dose of lexapro, which is what I ct’d from in Oct 17.   

Zoloft- 2010-2014 Lexa Aug 2015 Oct2017 Zoloft 50mg. Dec 17-May18

Cital 10mg May-18 to July 16 18

9.0 cital to 6.5mg,  July 30 18

7.0 mg cital liquid - until 11/23/18 /5.0 mg cital liquid - 7-13-19 4.6mg cital liquid - 7-14-19 - 8-13-19/4.2mg cital liquid - 8-14-19 - 9-13-19/4.0 mg cital liquid - 9-14-19- 11-20-19 -3.8mg-11/19-1-20. 3.7mg 6-20 3.2mg currently at 3.0mg cital liquid. 
2/20 added sodium alginate for gerd - caused updose. 

pantoprazole added 6/20. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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This is pretty ridiculous.  I dropped .2mg just a couple of days ago and I am getting the full on adrenaline anxiety today.    Unreal that I am this sensitive.  

 

 

Zoloft- 2010-2014 Lexa Aug 2015 Oct2017 Zoloft 50mg. Dec 17-May18

Cital 10mg May-18 to July 16 18

9.0 cital to 6.5mg,  July 30 18

7.0 mg cital liquid - until 11/23/18 /5.0 mg cital liquid - 7-13-19 4.6mg cital liquid - 7-14-19 - 8-13-19/4.2mg cital liquid - 8-14-19 - 9-13-19/4.0 mg cital liquid - 9-14-19- 11-20-19 -3.8mg-11/19-1-20. 3.7mg 6-20 3.2mg currently at 3.0mg cital liquid. 
2/20 added sodium alginate for gerd - caused updose. 

pantoprazole added 6/20. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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  • Mentor
3 minutes ago, Windsor77 said:

This is pretty ridiculous.  I dropped .2mg just a couple of days ago and I am getting the full on adrenaline anxiety today.    Unreal that I am this sensitive.  

 

 

sorry to hear that Windsor77

 

it may not just be that you're sensitive, it could also be that these drugs are very powerful.

I was making drops of 0.03mgs and could feel the difference!! 

 

as I understand it, there really is no such thing as a "therapeutic dose"- those were seemingly arbitrarily made up by the drug manufacturers, and the doses they settled on seemed to far exceed that which made a measurable change in your brain....

Again, as I understand what I've read about them. I may not be grasping it fully, it's pretty complicated.

 

I don't believe that antidepressants actually "work" to treat depression, I don't know-

It seems to me that they do change how you feel, but not necessarily for the better and not necessarily to decrease depression, at least not at the expense of dulling other feelings plus usually a lot of unwanted side effects that are often more troubling then the reason you went on the drug in the first place.....

 

 

 

 

  • pysch med history: 1974 @ age 18 to Oct 2017 (approx 43 yrs total) 
  •  Drug list: stelazine, haldol, elavil, lithium, zoloft, celexa, lexapro(doses as high as 40mgs), klonopin, ambien, seroquel(high doses), depakote, zyprexa, lamictal- plus brief trials of dozens of other psych meds over the years
  • started lexapro 2002, dose varied from 20mgs to 40mgs. First attempt to get off it was 2007- WD symptoms were mistaken for "relapse". 
  •  2013 too fast taper down to 5mg but WD forced me back to 20mgs
  •  June of 2105, tapered again too rapidly to 2.5mgs by Dec 2015. Found SA, held at 2.5 mgs til May 2016 when I foolishly "jumped off". felt ok until  Sept, then acute WD hit!!  reinstated at 0.3mgs in Oct. 2106
  • Tapered off to zero by  Oct. 2017 Doing very well. 
  • Nov. 2018 feel 95% healed, age 63 
  • Jan. 2020 feel 100% healed, peaceful and content
  • Dec 2023 Loving life! ❤️ with all it's ups and downs ;) 
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@Happy2Heal - Unfortunately, I was never depressed before trying to get off of these meds.   I will just go one minute at a time until the next window.   

16 months since i ct’d lexapro.   Feeling like I’m starting at ground zero again.  

Zoloft- 2010-2014 Lexa Aug 2015 Oct2017 Zoloft 50mg. Dec 17-May18

Cital 10mg May-18 to July 16 18

9.0 cital to 6.5mg,  July 30 18

7.0 mg cital liquid - until 11/23/18 /5.0 mg cital liquid - 7-13-19 4.6mg cital liquid - 7-14-19 - 8-13-19/4.2mg cital liquid - 8-14-19 - 9-13-19/4.0 mg cital liquid - 9-14-19- 11-20-19 -3.8mg-11/19-1-20. 3.7mg 6-20 3.2mg currently at 3.0mg cital liquid. 
2/20 added sodium alginate for gerd - caused updose. 

pantoprazole added 6/20. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus
3 hours ago, Windsor77 said:

16 months since i ct’d lexapro.   Feeling like I’m starting at ground zero again.  

 

Hi Windsor,

 

I’ve just read through your thread and wanted to share both some feedback and words of encouragement.

 

I can understand the frustration of having symptoms emerge, change or re-emerge. Please try not to see this as going backwards. Every day is a step closer to your eventual recovery, so whether the symptoms are more intense or less intense on any given day; please try to see every reduction, hold and sensible decision as a step in the right direction.

 

It seems you made a large 23% reduction back in November, before making a small updose. Your posts following that updose were very positive. You used words like ‘good’, ‘great’, ‘stable, ‘normal’ etc. 

 

That shows me that you do have the capacity to heal and that actually, your nervous system isn’t doing all that bad given the cold turkey and drug switches it’s been through. ‘Windows and waves’ are a normal part of the healing process for most people. Just to quickly provide a personal example, I had a really big adrenaline surge this morning and I’ve not had one for a week or so. I initially felt discouraged but reminded myself that these symptoms come and go, that it did not mean I was failing, and that by enduring those feelings I was one step closer to feeling well again. 

 

You mention going back to a ‘therapeutic dose’ of Lexapro. When we experience pain, emotional or physical, our natural urge is to resist it and escape it at all costs. Our bodies are primed this way to help us survive and avoid threats in our environment. Withdrawal symptoms are so hard for many to cope with, because they’re not usually indicative of any real threat at all, rather that your nervous system became temporarily destabilised and is trying desperately to find stability.

 

To conclude, making any changes to avoid the perceived threat (which doesn’t necessarily exist), will only further confuse your nervous system and aggravate the situation. Please try to remind yourself that the symptoms aren’t signs of anything inherently wrong with your current drug reduction method, rather they are normal parts of this process.

 

By trying to remind yourself of that, you may come to realise that making another drug switch and taking a larger,

‘therapeutic dose’, is only likely to make things more complicated and lead to more outcries from your stressed nervous system. You’re doing really well Windsor. This is just a minor bump in the road and your feedback prior to this drop indicates that you can feel great, even after all that you’ve been through.

 

Please try to use non-drug coping techniques to ride this wave, whilst your body finds stability again. 5.2 to 5.0mg was a modest drop, compared to your last one (including the updose), so things may settle sooner rather than later 

Edited by eymen23

PLEASE NOTE:  I am not a medical professional.  I can only provide information and make suggestions.

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10 hours ago, Windsor77 said:

It’s officially a wave.  Heart rate up, morning anxiety, sleeping is interrupted.  Frustrating.  I am honestly ready to go back to a therapeutic dose of lexapro, which is what I ct’d from in Oct 17.   

 

 

I'm sorry things are bad. 

sadly, there is no such thing as a therapeutic dose of lexapro that doctors talk about, having learned it from the drug manufacturer.

 

there is every possibility taking more lexapro will make you worse, rather than better. but I understand why you think of it - you want relief, that's only natural. 

 

keep posting here and let us know what is happening.

 

 

Currently taking Ramapril (blood pressure) 5 mg twice a day

Omeprazole 10 mg AM and 20 mg PM  (the taper has gone nowhere after the first cut)

Famotidine   once a day (and I still needs tums sometimes)

magnesium 200 mg at night

as of yesterday 2 fish oil capsules "EPA-DHA 1000"

 

off Lexapro as of 5/2018  - last dose had been 5 mg every other day for a couple years

 

highest dose had been 20 mg at which point I was diagnosed with Bipolar II, which went away when I cut the lexapro down to 15 mg. 

 

I spent years on Paxil before Lexapro (can't remember dose), briefly on Effexor and Abilify and others I have forgotten. in fact, when I was diagnoses with BPII I was put on all kinds of things which made me feel so bad I stopped them cold turkey within maybe 3 or 4 weeks, thank goodness. since then I've known these pills were terrible and I weaned down the Lexapro with zero help or support over I'm not sure how many years. 

 

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Feeling horrible again.  Just from .2mg drop!!  Waking after 5 hours sleep like clockwork.  Adrenaline, bounding pulse, twitching muscles, hypnic jerks while trying to sleep.  What a mess.  

Vicious cycle.   Not good right now. 

 

Hanging in, but tempted to go back.  I appreciate everyone’s encouragement, but I am back at square one. Actually, I feel worse.   16 months.  With maybe one or two months of feeling halfway normal.  Maybe it is weak to want to go back. But the prospect of feeling like this indefinitely is preposterous.    

Zoloft- 2010-2014 Lexa Aug 2015 Oct2017 Zoloft 50mg. Dec 17-May18

Cital 10mg May-18 to July 16 18

9.0 cital to 6.5mg,  July 30 18

7.0 mg cital liquid - until 11/23/18 /5.0 mg cital liquid - 7-13-19 4.6mg cital liquid - 7-14-19 - 8-13-19/4.2mg cital liquid - 8-14-19 - 9-13-19/4.0 mg cital liquid - 9-14-19- 11-20-19 -3.8mg-11/19-1-20. 3.7mg 6-20 3.2mg currently at 3.0mg cital liquid. 
2/20 added sodium alginate for gerd - caused updose. 

pantoprazole added 6/20. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Saw a neurologist today.  I have a tremor.  An “action” tremor.  A type of essential tremor, I guess.   So....you know the next path. MRI, EMG, EEG.   Doc said could be medication related for sure, but no guarantee that it will subside once off the med.  but it all started last January when I reinstated Zoloft after my lexapro ct, and has continued on celexa.  So we’ll see.   Also wants to test blood for B6, and several other things which I’d not come across on this site from other users neuro consult experiences.  Also suggested supplementing magnesium, I advised I was taking 250mg daily, and it was suggested that some can tolerate up to 500mg.   

All in all, this doctor was aware of the ssri possibilities, did not dismiss the concept of withdrawal/dependence and advised that the timeline I presented suggests that this is drug induced, but wants to be certain.  Me too.   

Still- no guarantee that it will ever leave me.  Lastly- asked if I considered anything besides ssri for my condition, I think she mentioned hydroxyzine (sp).  Though I have read about the ups and downs of that in this site.  Also mentioned that propranolol is used to treat sometimes. 

 

Should be no surprise that my anxiety is through the roof, catastrophizing all worst case scenarios.  Scaring the sh*t out of myself and making things worse.  Had a talk with the spouse about fears and a huge cry.  Dramatically reduced my anxiety.  Gotta think positive. Hard for me to do. 

 

On to the testing, I guess. 

Hanging in there. 

CM

Zoloft- 2010-2014 Lexa Aug 2015 Oct2017 Zoloft 50mg. Dec 17-May18

Cital 10mg May-18 to July 16 18

9.0 cital to 6.5mg,  July 30 18

7.0 mg cital liquid - until 11/23/18 /5.0 mg cital liquid - 7-13-19 4.6mg cital liquid - 7-14-19 - 8-13-19/4.2mg cital liquid - 8-14-19 - 9-13-19/4.0 mg cital liquid - 9-14-19- 11-20-19 -3.8mg-11/19-1-20. 3.7mg 6-20 3.2mg currently at 3.0mg cital liquid. 
2/20 added sodium alginate for gerd - caused updose. 

pantoprazole added 6/20. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Hi Windsor, I also have an action tremor. I am convinced it is from the celexa. I take propranolol for it but it doesn't seem to help much. I too had an MRI and ruled out other causes. My understanding is that Parkinson's presents as a resting tremor not an action tremor. 

Best of luck with the testing but chances are high it is from the ssri

Start citalopram late 2004 20 mg/d, tapered to 10 mg 1xd on for several years

Citalopram 5 mg 1xd, occasional attempt to taper; off citalopram 4 months Aug. 2016

Venlafaxine 37.5 mg 2 months Nov, Dec 2016 stopped ct and change to citalopram 10 mg/d severe withdrawal with daily nausea 

Citalopram 20mg/day April 2017 - Feb 21, 2018, Citalopram 15 mg/day Feb. 21 - 3/3/2018

Citalopram 20 mg/day 3/4/18, Citalopram 18 mg 1xd 3/5 - 4/1,

Citalopram 17 mg 4/2, 16.6 mg 4/16, 16.2 mg 4/23, 16 mg 5/14, 15.8 mg 5/18, 15.6 mg 5/22, 15.4 mg 5/29, 15.2 mg 6/5, 15 mg 6/12,

14.6 mg 7/21, 14.2 mg 7/28, 14 mg 8/4, 13.6mg 8/18, 13.2 mg 8/25, 13 mg 9/1, 12.6 mg 9/22, 9/25 13 mg, 11/9 12.8 mg, back to 13 mg after a few days. 1/9/19 12.8 mg, 1/14 12.6 mg, 1/20 12.4 mg, 1/27 12.2mg, 2/4 12 mg, 2/24 11.8 ,3/1 11.6, 3/6 11.4, 3/11 11.2, 3/14 11, by 4/28 10 mg.

Nov. 1 9.8 mg, Nov 8 9.6 mg, Nov 22 9.5 mg, slow taper down to 9 mg 1/27/2020. Slow taper down to 8 mg Sept 1 2020, decrease by approx. 10% a month to 5 mg/day Jan. 2021.

 

Supplements/other: multivitamin, vitamin d 2000 u 1xd,, melatonin 0.75 mg mg 1xd prn, magnesium, Propranolol Sr 60 mg/day Feb. 2016 (?), alprazolam 0.125 mg prn  (rarely taken) approx. <2 yrs 

Change to famotidine 20 mg prn, cetirizine 10 mg prn or loratadine 10 mg prn for allergy sx.

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Snowy, sorry to hear that you have this too.  

I too hope that all is normal otherwise, but after this long, I have to know for sure.  Whatever the result, I’ll deal with it.   No choice but to do so. 

 

On another note, it is amazing to me how a good emotional release will totally take away the anxiety.   Gives some anecdotal credence to the fact that anxiety could be what Breggin calls “prehistoric emotion”.  Maybe it all is the result of held in emotions?   

Zoloft- 2010-2014 Lexa Aug 2015 Oct2017 Zoloft 50mg. Dec 17-May18

Cital 10mg May-18 to July 16 18

9.0 cital to 6.5mg,  July 30 18

7.0 mg cital liquid - until 11/23/18 /5.0 mg cital liquid - 7-13-19 4.6mg cital liquid - 7-14-19 - 8-13-19/4.2mg cital liquid - 8-14-19 - 9-13-19/4.0 mg cital liquid - 9-14-19- 11-20-19 -3.8mg-11/19-1-20. 3.7mg 6-20 3.2mg currently at 3.0mg cital liquid. 
2/20 added sodium alginate for gerd - caused updose. 

pantoprazole added 6/20. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Another terrible day of high heart rate, extreme rumination, catastrophizing, and just sitting at my desk trying to focus and work.  Not easy today.  Had bloodwork done. Other tests on Monday and Tuesday of next week.  

Unfortunately- the feelings I have now (not the tremor and twitching) are the exact feelings and symptoms of extreme hypochondriasis which got me onto ssri in the first place.   I’m torn. 

 

After 9 months on celexa, I have tremor and twitching.   Many people switch when the adverse effects are too severe.  So why wouldn’t I switch at this point to try lexapro again at an equivalent dose?  

I realize that these meds are what got me here in the first place. But they did help me and my anxiety and hypochondriasis for more than 9 years.  I’m trapped into either staying on something that I suspect is causing issues, trying another drug, or risking another ssri ride.  It may be true that I cannot quit these, as the .2mg drop and the added stress of the pending neuro tests has me at the end of my rope.  I have to do something besides sit here and try to wait this out.   And for what, for another wave of adrenaline, anxiety and paralyzing rumination to come and waste another several weeks of my life?  

Which is better?

Zoloft- 2010-2014 Lexa Aug 2015 Oct2017 Zoloft 50mg. Dec 17-May18

Cital 10mg May-18 to July 16 18

9.0 cital to 6.5mg,  July 30 18

7.0 mg cital liquid - until 11/23/18 /5.0 mg cital liquid - 7-13-19 4.6mg cital liquid - 7-14-19 - 8-13-19/4.2mg cital liquid - 8-14-19 - 9-13-19/4.0 mg cital liquid - 9-14-19- 11-20-19 -3.8mg-11/19-1-20. 3.7mg 6-20 3.2mg currently at 3.0mg cital liquid. 
2/20 added sodium alginate for gerd - caused updose. 

pantoprazole added 6/20. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

The trouble is what worked in the past might not work now.  And there is no way of knowing.

 

It sounds like you could be experiencing a lot of stress regarding the tests.

* NO LONGER ACTIVE on SA *

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED:  (6 year taper)      0mg Pristiq  on 13th November 2021

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021   LAST DOSE 0.0025mg

Post 0 updates start here    My tapering program     My Intro (goes to tapering graph)

 VIDEO:   Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management

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You’re right Chessie.  There is no way of knowing unless I try something different.  

 

The tests do have me stressing, but i could feel this wave coming on.  Either way, it is ridiculous to just sit here and not participate in my own life while paralyzed with fear and anxiety.  

If a new one doesn’t work, I’d just taper off of it the same way I am now.  

Zoloft- 2010-2014 Lexa Aug 2015 Oct2017 Zoloft 50mg. Dec 17-May18

Cital 10mg May-18 to July 16 18

9.0 cital to 6.5mg,  July 30 18

7.0 mg cital liquid - until 11/23/18 /5.0 mg cital liquid - 7-13-19 4.6mg cital liquid - 7-14-19 - 8-13-19/4.2mg cital liquid - 8-14-19 - 9-13-19/4.0 mg cital liquid - 9-14-19- 11-20-19 -3.8mg-11/19-1-20. 3.7mg 6-20 3.2mg currently at 3.0mg cital liquid. 
2/20 added sodium alginate for gerd - caused updose. 

pantoprazole added 6/20. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Please note that I was not suggesting that you try something.

 

Please move the fish oil and magnesium to the bottom of your drug signature so that we can clearly see the dose/dates for citalopram.  Thank you.

 

If you do decide to try something, I suggest you try a tiny test dose and increasing very gradually.

 

* NO LONGER ACTIVE on SA *

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED:  (6 year taper)      0mg Pristiq  on 13th November 2021

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021   LAST DOSE 0.0025mg

Post 0 updates start here    My tapering program     My Intro (goes to tapering graph)

 VIDEO:   Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management

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  • Mentor
On 7/13/2018 at 10:39 AM, mirage said:

@Windsor77 Hi. Just wanted to put this out there in hopes that maybe it can help.

 

I tried re instating the Wellbutrin at 150xl about 6 weeks after I stopped the Wellbutrin 300xl cold turkey. That did not work. So, my dr added Remeron 15mg. That did not work. So my dr increased the Remeron to 30mg. That did not work. She had me increase the Wellbutrin to 300xl. With each addition, I got worse and worse. She then wanted to switch me to Lexapro. I filled the script but decided not to take it. She then said, lets try Prestiq. Again, I filled the script but did not take it. Something in me said "no". I started weaning off the Remeron and off the Wellbutrin 300. I am completely off the Remeron and holding on the Wellbutrin at 150 until I get stabilized then I will wean that. What I have learned, from experience and this sight, is that once your system has become overactive, none of these drugs help it. Some people do have good luck with low dose reinstatement. That said, the Wellbutrin 150xl, may have helped, but slightly. My system was already upside down and inside out. 

 

I am learning that it is time and patience, acceptance and a lot of self care, along with exercise and healthy eating, that is going to heal us. I am 13 months into my journey and, while I have seen a lot of symptoms go, the biggest and hardest are still with me and I have a feeling they are going to be the last to go. 

 

Wishing you good days and strength. 

Windsor, I was going back thru your thread and found this post to you by mirage, 

it's pretty much what I'd say to you too.

Your nervous system is likely now sensitized and none of these drugs will help. They have the potential to either prolong your withdrawal, or worse, make your symptoms worse

 

I know this is not what you want to hear, believe me, I've been there. but try to just take one day at a time, 

don't look back at how long you've been at this, don't look ahead to days that have not yet arrived

you only have this day, this moment , to deal with.

 

yes it's discouraging when things don't seem to be getting better. But your brain is healing, and the symptoms are what tell you that it's happening.

the GAD that you talk about having, there are non drug ways to treat that, and many of them are listed in the non drug coping skills sections.

 

you mentioned how emotional release helped your anxiety, I have found this is true as well.

perhaps you could try watching a sad movie or something that might help you to cry- as silly as it may sound, I find it works wonders for me.

 

You've come a long way, I hope you'll find the strength to keep going. You've got it in it, you just need to access it. you can do this!!

 

 

 

  • pysch med history: 1974 @ age 18 to Oct 2017 (approx 43 yrs total) 
  •  Drug list: stelazine, haldol, elavil, lithium, zoloft, celexa, lexapro(doses as high as 40mgs), klonopin, ambien, seroquel(high doses), depakote, zyprexa, lamictal- plus brief trials of dozens of other psych meds over the years
  • started lexapro 2002, dose varied from 20mgs to 40mgs. First attempt to get off it was 2007- WD symptoms were mistaken for "relapse". 
  •  2013 too fast taper down to 5mg but WD forced me back to 20mgs
  •  June of 2105, tapered again too rapidly to 2.5mgs by Dec 2015. Found SA, held at 2.5 mgs til May 2016 when I foolishly "jumped off". felt ok until  Sept, then acute WD hit!!  reinstated at 0.3mgs in Oct. 2106
  • Tapered off to zero by  Oct. 2017 Doing very well. 
  • Nov. 2018 feel 95% healed, age 63 
  • Jan. 2020 feel 100% healed, peaceful and content
  • Dec 2023 Loving life! ❤️ with all it's ups and downs ;) 
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Chessie- I know you weren’t suggesting I change.  No one on here but a few have agreed with my assertion to switch.  After all- I got worse when I switched to celexa.  But my doc switched me from 50 mg Zoloft to 10 mg celexa.  Then I immediately dropped to 9mg. Then a series of too fast jumps by me.   I had my most symptom free time period from December until about a weeks ago, just before I reduced to 5.0 mg.   

Maybe im so dependent that I need the stronger dose again.  

Zoloft- 2010-2014 Lexa Aug 2015 Oct2017 Zoloft 50mg. Dec 17-May18

Cital 10mg May-18 to July 16 18

9.0 cital to 6.5mg,  July 30 18

7.0 mg cital liquid - until 11/23/18 /5.0 mg cital liquid - 7-13-19 4.6mg cital liquid - 7-14-19 - 8-13-19/4.2mg cital liquid - 8-14-19 - 9-13-19/4.0 mg cital liquid - 9-14-19- 11-20-19 -3.8mg-11/19-1-20. 3.7mg 6-20 3.2mg currently at 3.0mg cital liquid. 
2/20 added sodium alginate for gerd - caused updose. 

pantoprazole added 6/20. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Link to comment
On 2/14/2019 at 11:04 AM, Windsor77 said:

Had a talk with the spouse about fears and a huge cry.  Dramatically reduced my anxiety.

 

excellent coping. 

 

I'm sorry things are not going well in general. 

Currently taking Ramapril (blood pressure) 5 mg twice a day

Omeprazole 10 mg AM and 20 mg PM  (the taper has gone nowhere after the first cut)

Famotidine   once a day (and I still needs tums sometimes)

magnesium 200 mg at night

as of yesterday 2 fish oil capsules "EPA-DHA 1000"

 

off Lexapro as of 5/2018  - last dose had been 5 mg every other day for a couple years

 

highest dose had been 20 mg at which point I was diagnosed with Bipolar II, which went away when I cut the lexapro down to 15 mg. 

 

I spent years on Paxil before Lexapro (can't remember dose), briefly on Effexor and Abilify and others I have forgotten. in fact, when I was diagnoses with BPII I was put on all kinds of things which made me feel so bad I stopped them cold turkey within maybe 3 or 4 weeks, thank goodness. since then I've known these pills were terrible and I weaned down the Lexapro with zero help or support over I'm not sure how many years. 

 

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I appreciate the support of this group immensely.  But I just cannot view the developing of essential tremor as part of the process of healing.  It is a known side effect of ssri. And for me a troubling one.  There is no guarantee that it will stop if I switch.  But it is guaranteed that it will continue if I stay where I am.  Perhaps it will get worse?  How does one know that they aren’t causing more damage by staying with what is causing side effects?  Answer?  No one knows.   So there are risks involved with any path at this point.  Isn’t that a fair assertion?  

If the group believes that my side effects are due to over stimulation of my nervous system, then does logic follow that getting off any drug is the only path to determining if the symptoms will ever subside?  Or are my symptoms a product of withdrawal from celexa?  They began to present on 100mg Zoloft 3 months after I ct’d 10mg lexapro.  Jan 2018.   Which is it?  Answer - we do not know.  My point is that there is no certainty in recovery either.  We don’t know any more than the physicians who prescribed these.  We are all guessing about how this process works.  We have theories.  And we have a lot of ill people whose lives have been complicated by these meds.  We have the wonderful admins and peers here for support, and we have the brave folks who are willing to trial and error solutions until they find something that eases the discomfort until science gets off its collective a** and finds a solution that works. 

Here is a question for the group. What if a low dose of lexapro did help?  An equivalent lexapro dose to my celexa 5.0 now would be 2.5mg. What if I tried less than that?  After all, many of us here updose when the symptoms are too much.  How is that different then trying a drug that worked for me previously? 

 

Zoloft- 2010-2014 Lexa Aug 2015 Oct2017 Zoloft 50mg. Dec 17-May18

Cital 10mg May-18 to July 16 18

9.0 cital to 6.5mg,  July 30 18

7.0 mg cital liquid - until 11/23/18 /5.0 mg cital liquid - 7-13-19 4.6mg cital liquid - 7-14-19 - 8-13-19/4.2mg cital liquid - 8-14-19 - 9-13-19/4.0 mg cital liquid - 9-14-19- 11-20-19 -3.8mg-11/19-1-20. 3.7mg 6-20 3.2mg currently at 3.0mg cital liquid. 
2/20 added sodium alginate for gerd - caused updose. 

pantoprazole added 6/20. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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I am definitely surprised to not have had some responses. I guess we all need to have a fit now and then.  But there is truth in my last post.  We are all guessing at how to find peace in this horrible mess 

Zoloft- 2010-2014 Lexa Aug 2015 Oct2017 Zoloft 50mg. Dec 17-May18

Cital 10mg May-18 to July 16 18

9.0 cital to 6.5mg,  July 30 18

7.0 mg cital liquid - until 11/23/18 /5.0 mg cital liquid - 7-13-19 4.6mg cital liquid - 7-14-19 - 8-13-19/4.2mg cital liquid - 8-14-19 - 9-13-19/4.0 mg cital liquid - 9-14-19- 11-20-19 -3.8mg-11/19-1-20. 3.7mg 6-20 3.2mg currently at 3.0mg cital liquid. 
2/20 added sodium alginate for gerd - caused updose. 

pantoprazole added 6/20. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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On 2/15/2019 at 3:08 PM, Windsor77 said:

Another terrible day of high heart rate, extreme rumination, catastrophizing, and just sitting at my desk trying to focus and work.  Not easy today.  Had bloodwork done. Other tests on Monday and Tuesday of next week.  

Unfortunately- the feelings I have now (not the tremor and twitching) are the exact feelings and symptoms of extreme hypochondriasis which got me onto ssri in the first place.   I’m torn. 

 

After 9 months on celexa, I have tremor and twitching.   Many people switch when the adverse effects are too severe.  So why wouldn’t I switch at this point to try lexapro again at an equivalent dose?  

I realize that these meds are what got me here in the first place. But they did help me and my anxiety and hypochondriasis for more than 9 years.  I’m trapped into either staying on something that I suspect is causing issues, trying another drug, or risking another ssri ride.  It may be true that I cannot quit these, as the .2mg drop and the added stress of the pending neuro tests has me at the end of my rope.  I have to do something besides sit here and try to wait this out.   And for what, for another wave of adrenaline, anxiety and paralyzing rumination to come and waste another several weeks of my life?  

Which is better?

 

Windsor, you need to get your habit of health anxiety in check. Read this and do something about it Health anxiety, hypochondria, and obsession with symptoms

 

Also, we use common sense around here. Since you had a bad reaction to reducing to 5mg, go back to 5.2mg immediately.

 

On 1/23/2019 at 2:34 PM, Windsor77 said:

@Altostrata  symptoms are same as I have been reporting since I joined, general shakiness feeling, and mild tremor in muscles when exerting.  None when still. Random muscle twitching.   Hypnic jerks when falling asleep and awaking in big toes/feet and thumbs/hands.    No correlation to meds.  I take same dose 5.2mg liquid at same time every evening. 

 

Im not trying to complain.  As I’ve been good for several days.  I am worlds apart from where I was back in July.   Mentally I am fully out of withdrawal.  Just the remaining CNS related issues.   My instinct tells me that 5.2mg should not be enough to cause the twitching and shakiness.  But I’m not sure.   I still wonder about awitching back to equivalent Lexapro. 

 

 

 

On 2/9/2019 at 5:46 AM, Windsor77 said:

@Altostrata

i will look at the fish oil suggestions to see about increasing.  

Same for magnesium. Perhaps one tab twice a day. 

Regarding the jerk/twitching- I only notice this when laying in bed about to fall asleep, or when just waking up. Once I’m up, I don’t experience it.    

Over the past couple of days, I’d say I’m having a very mild wave with these symptoms returning after about a month or more with little symptoms.  Strange. But no anxiety with this at all. Mild pulse increase noticed at times, but no adrenaline feelings or rumination.  

Anyway- I have used the music and relaxation sounds a lot over the years.   It works, but not really for the twitch feelings. 

Inwill try the .2mg reduction for a month or so to see what happens.  Staying at 5.2 is responsible  for my stability. No question.   I have learned that I am gonna have to take it really slow on my taper. 

 

On 2/11/2019 at 8:22 AM, Windsor77 said:

Made the drop to 5 mg two nights ago. I’m gonna stay here for a month or more to see if there are any increases in the anxiety or other symptoms.   I have found that I am pretty sensitive to changes.   We’ll see.   

Otherwise, still have the mild twitching and mild jerks when falling asleep and waking.   I fear those will just have to be with me permanently.  But time will tell. 

 

Hypnic jerks are not a big deal. Your nervous system is hypersensitive. These symptoms will fluctuate, get weaker (AS YOU HAVE ALREADY SEEN), and finally go away.

 

On 2/14/2019 at 11:04 AM, Windsor77 said:

Saw a neurologist today.  I have a tremor.  An “action” tremor.  A type of essential tremor, I guess.   So....you know the next path. MRI, EMG, EEG.   Doc said could be medication related for sure, but no guarantee that it will subside once off the med.  but it all started last January when I reinstated Zoloft after my lexapro ct, and has continued on celexa.  So we’ll see.   Also wants to test blood for B6, and several other things which I’d not come across on this site from other users neuro consult experiences.  Also suggested supplementing magnesium, I advised I was taking 250mg daily, and it was suggested that some can tolerate up to 500mg.   

All in all, this doctor was aware of the ssri possibilities, did not dismiss the concept of withdrawal/dependence and advised that the timeline I presented suggests that this is drug induced, but wants to be certain.  Me too.   

Still- no guarantee that it will ever leave me.  Lastly- asked if I considered anything besides ssri for my condition, I think she mentioned hydroxyzine (sp).  Though I have read about the ups and downs of that in this site.  Also mentioned that propranolol is used to treat sometimes. 

 

Should be no surprise that my anxiety is through the roof, catastrophizing all worst case scenarios.  Scaring the sh*t out of myself and making things worse.  Had a talk with the spouse about fears and a huge cry.  Dramatically reduced my anxiety.  Gotta think positive. Hard for me to do. 

 

On to the testing, I guess. 

Hanging in there. 

CM

 

Kind of the neurologist to see you and suggest non-drug treatments. She seems like a good doctor. She's probably aware that chances are very high the tests will show nothing.

 

We have recommended before that you take small doses of magnesium throughout the day. (People often find they can tolerate a lot more than 500mg, but that's a good estimate.) Have you done this?

 

If you cannot control your health anxiety and catastrophizing without drugs, perhaps you should reconsider your decision to go off them. Seems like you need to stay at 5.2mg Celexa for a while, anyway.

 

No, do not switch to Lexapro. Your nervous system is hypersensitive, are you yearning to make your situation worse?

 

 

 

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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@Altostrata - I am taking 250mg of magnesium currently. Two 125mg tabs. One in morning and one after lunch.  Plus epsom salt baths daily. My blood level was 2.9mg/dL.  Standard range for mag in blood goes up to 2.4.  Can’t too much magnesium be harmful?  Tested for folate and TSH too. All within normal ranges. 

I guess I will go back to  5.2.  

But here’s the issue-  I can’t know whether the citalopram is causing the tremor and twitching or the withdrawal.   So even if i stayed on it, I have to endure the BS side effects.  I have switched drugs to equivalent dose before and done fine.  The only time it went poorly was last June/July when I went from Zoloft 50mg to celexa 10mg. Which brought me to SA. 

Please don’t interpret my questions as being rude or impudent.  I am just trying to find a way to feel as good as possible.  

In terms of my hypochondriasis, I may be overreacting, but I don’t think so.  If a doc suggests testing, I think anyone would get worried, especially since I have been worrying about these side effects for over a year.   The “what if’s” can be hard to deal with, especially when you are looking into the eyes of your young children.  Either way, knowledge is power. 

 

Let me know now if you think sneaking the magnesium up may be ok, and thank you for your support. 

Zoloft- 2010-2014 Lexa Aug 2015 Oct2017 Zoloft 50mg. Dec 17-May18

Cital 10mg May-18 to July 16 18

9.0 cital to 6.5mg,  July 30 18

7.0 mg cital liquid - until 11/23/18 /5.0 mg cital liquid - 7-13-19 4.6mg cital liquid - 7-14-19 - 8-13-19/4.2mg cital liquid - 8-14-19 - 9-13-19/4.0 mg cital liquid - 9-14-19- 11-20-19 -3.8mg-11/19-1-20. 3.7mg 6-20 3.2mg currently at 3.0mg cital liquid. 
2/20 added sodium alginate for gerd - caused updose. 

pantoprazole added 6/20. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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  • Administrator

Stop obsessing about "tremor and twitching."

 

Cut the magnesium tablets in half and take them more frequently throughout the day.

 

If you read my last post, what do you think my opinion is about switching to Lexapro?

 

If you go to enough doctors, you will find at least one who will do the tests you want. If you must do this, I can't stop you. Don't waste my time with arguments.

 

If you can't take responsibility for learning to manage your health anxiety, we can't help you here. Going off drugs is not going to fix this and you'll drive us all crazy while you do it.

 

2 hours ago, Windsor77 said:

I am definitely surprised to not have had some responses. I guess we all need to have a fit now and then.  But there is truth in my last post.  We are all guessing at how to find peace in this horrible mess 

 

You are on your 6th page of responses.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Sorry to have upset you, @Altostrata  

 

For the record, I have only seen my GP and this neurologist.  I’m not shopping for an open ear.   To the contrary, I endured over a year of the symptoms before seeking the neurologist, also, at the suggestion of my GP who didn’t know what to do with my symptoms. 

 

“Stop obesssing about tremor and twitching”. 

 

Jeez- why didn’t I think of that!?!?   Reminds me of a Bob Newhart skit that I saw once. “Just stop it”. We all know that it isn’t that easy.  

 

My comment about responses was not a jab at moderators.  I really thought that my questions may have stirred some discussion.  I was more looking for some peer input to the comments I posed.   I guess I thought everyone thought I was “having a fit” and left me to calm down. 

 

Though I have irritated you, I am still thankful for the work you are doing trying to help others.  

For that, you have my gratitude. 

Thanks

W77

Zoloft- 2010-2014 Lexa Aug 2015 Oct2017 Zoloft 50mg. Dec 17-May18

Cital 10mg May-18 to July 16 18

9.0 cital to 6.5mg,  July 30 18

7.0 mg cital liquid - until 11/23/18 /5.0 mg cital liquid - 7-13-19 4.6mg cital liquid - 7-14-19 - 8-13-19/4.2mg cital liquid - 8-14-19 - 9-13-19/4.0 mg cital liquid - 9-14-19- 11-20-19 -3.8mg-11/19-1-20. 3.7mg 6-20 3.2mg currently at 3.0mg cital liquid. 
2/20 added sodium alginate for gerd - caused updose. 

pantoprazole added 6/20. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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You're welcome. You might look into Cognitive Behavior Therapy to manage the repetitive thoughts.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Dear Windsor77,

I've been catching up on your thread to understand what you're going through.  I, too, developed medication-induced movement problems because of the meds.  It's been 4 years and 3 months since I've been off any and all meds.  Mine is not 100% cured, but it is INCREDIBLY improved compared to what it was 4 years ago.  Nobody looking at me would know I have a movement disorder, and that's a huge piece of proof about how far I've come. 


Nobody can predict what will happen with your tremor, but it is highly encouraging that you have a neurologist who is willing to admit the meds are the likely culprit.  A neurologist with enough humility to admit those medication risks is worth his/her weight in gold, so you have lucked out there.

In my experience, a neurologist will probably want to control your tremor with more meds or with Botox.  From what I've learned in various support groups for movement disorders (and from doctors), small doses of Benadryl (5-10 mgs is what I've been told) are good as a rescue med, but high doses and regular, longterm use can exacerbate movements in the longterm.  You might also be offered something called Artane, which suppresses movements, but might also have side effects on short-term memory.  Know the pros and cons before you make a decision.   

In my opinion—and please note this is merely my personal opinion—it's premature to control a tremor with meds or Botox unless it's confirmed that the tremor is permanent.  At this point, you still don't know what will happen with your tremor, and it's a possibility that you'll improve if you go off meds.  I wish I could guarantee that your tremor will improve if you go off meds, but I can't.  What I can say is that it's possible and I can confirm that my movements have settled down.

All the medication jumping and switching that you're doing strikes me as a VERY bad idea.  While updosing slightly is sometimes recommended to help people stabilize, I think that, in your case, you definitely need to just HOLD and then taper. (I have to note, though, that I have less knowledge with meds overall than the other mods.) At this point, you've been going up, down, and all over the place.  You gotta get to a stable place and STAY there for a while, then taper.  Let me stress again that this is my opinion; I just don't think it's helpful to stay on something causing a tremor.  I think you need to be helped off the meds and given the chance to see whether that tremor's going to stick around or not. When you and your neurologist have a better idea of what the tremor's doing, then you can look at what other treatment, if any, is necessary. 

Also, ask your neurologist if neuro physical therapy might be a good idea.  It's kind of like physical therapy, but it works on movement, not strength.  Neuro PT is prescribed for people with essential tremor, Parkinson's, MS, etc.  I did it for years to regain mobility, coordination, and to reduce my jerks/dystonia. It really helped me regain motor control, both big and small.

Your neurologist may want you off meds ASAP because of the tremor, and that's something you need to consider as you weight the tapering advice from SA against in-person medical advice you're getting.  Ultimately, the decision will be yours, but after you make a decision, I'd advise sticking with it for a while before making a radical change again too soon. 

Edited by WiggleIt

*I'm not a doctor and don't give medical advice, just personal experience
**Off all meds since Nov. 2014. Mentally & emotionally recovered; physically not
-Dual cold turkeys off TCA & Ativan in Oct 2014. Prescribed from 2011-2014

-All meds were Rxed off-label for an autoimmune illness.  It was a MISDIAGNOSIS, but I did not find out until AFTER meds caused damage.  All med tapers/cold turkeys directed by doctors 

-Nortriptyline May 2012 - Dec 2013. Cold turkey off nortrip & cold switched to desipramine

-Desipramine Jan 2014 - Oct. 29, 2014 (rapid taper/cold turkey)

-Lorazepam 1 mg per night during 2011
-Lorazepam 1 mg per month in 2012 (or less)

-Lorazepam on & off, Dec 2013 through Aug 2014. Didn't exceed 3x a week

-Lorazepam again in Oct. 2014 to help get off of desipramine. Last dose lzpam was 1 mg, Nov. 2, 2014. Immediate paradoxical reactions to benzos after stopping TCAs 

-First muscle/dystonia side effects started on nortriptyline, but docs too stupid to figure it out. On desipramine, muscle tremors & rigidity worsened

-Two weeks after I got off all meds, I developed full-blown TD.  Tardive dystonia, dyskinesia, myoclonic jerks ALL over body, ribcage wiggles, facial tics, twitching tongue & fingers, tremors/twitches of arms, legs, cognitive impairment, throat muscles semi-paralyzed & unable to swallow solid food, brain zaps, ears ring, dizzy, everything looks too far away, insomnia, numbness & electric shocks everywhere when I try to fall asleep, jerk awake from sleep with big, gasping breaths, wake with terrors & tremors, severely depressed.  NO HISTORY OF DEPRESSION, EVER. Meds CREATED it.

-Month 7: hair falling out; no vision improvement; still tardive dystonia; facial & tongue tics returned
-Month 8: back to acute, incl. Grand Mal seizure-like episodes. New mental torment, PGAD, worse insomnia
-Month 9: tardive dystonia worse, dyskinesia returned. Unable to breathe well due to dystonia in stomach, chest, throat
-Month 13: Back to acute, brain zaps back, developed eczema & stomach problems. Left leg no longer works right due to dystonia, meaning both legs now damaged
-7 years off: Huge improvements, incl. improved dystonia

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Thanks for sharing your experience Wiggleit.  

 

I use Benadryl occasionally.  The positive side is that this tremor is very minor. Not visible to anyone besides me really.   The severity is not the point however.  It is always there and it’s troubling. Maybe because the fact that it’s a tremor is new news is why I am having such a hard time with it right now.   My anxiety definitely makes it worse.   

What makes me hopeful is that the tremor is not as bad as it was at higher dose.  But there is no guarantee. 

Im not sure I could deal with another CT.   I’m at 5 mg. That’s another 3 years of this poison if I taper,  which could make the tremor worse. Which is why I am pondering what would be a possible drug to switch to.  They all carry this risk though.  

Your post has helped me illustrate my quandary though- CT?  Can’t.  Switch meds? Peers say don’t.   Stay on drug and potentially exacerbate problem? - I don’t want to risk it.    

 

So, again....what is there to do?

Zoloft- 2010-2014 Lexa Aug 2015 Oct2017 Zoloft 50mg. Dec 17-May18

Cital 10mg May-18 to July 16 18

9.0 cital to 6.5mg,  July 30 18

7.0 mg cital liquid - until 11/23/18 /5.0 mg cital liquid - 7-13-19 4.6mg cital liquid - 7-14-19 - 8-13-19/4.2mg cital liquid - 8-14-19 - 9-13-19/4.0 mg cital liquid - 9-14-19- 11-20-19 -3.8mg-11/19-1-20. 3.7mg 6-20 3.2mg currently at 3.0mg cital liquid. 
2/20 added sodium alginate for gerd - caused updose. 

pantoprazole added 6/20. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4825509/#!po=1.85185

 

Case of Citalopram induced dystonia.  While not exactly what’s going on with me, good information here related to correlation between EPS and citalopram.    Switching meds is part of the the protocol. 

Zoloft- 2010-2014 Lexa Aug 2015 Oct2017 Zoloft 50mg. Dec 17-May18

Cital 10mg May-18 to July 16 18

9.0 cital to 6.5mg,  July 30 18

7.0 mg cital liquid - until 11/23/18 /5.0 mg cital liquid - 7-13-19 4.6mg cital liquid - 7-14-19 - 8-13-19/4.2mg cital liquid - 8-14-19 - 9-13-19/4.0 mg cital liquid - 9-14-19- 11-20-19 -3.8mg-11/19-1-20. 3.7mg 6-20 3.2mg currently at 3.0mg cital liquid. 
2/20 added sodium alginate for gerd - caused updose. 

pantoprazole added 6/20. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Link to comment
  • Administrator

What were the circumstances that caused you to go on sertraline in 2012?

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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  • Moderator Emeritus
6 hours ago, Windsor77 said:

Your post has helped me illustrate my quandary though- CT?  Can’t.  Switch meds? Peers say don’t.   Stay on drug and potentially exacerbate problem? - I don’t want to risk it.    

 

So, again....what is there to do?


Did the neurologist mention whether a faster taper or cross-taper to a different med would be advisable?  I normally would poo-poo neurologists or doctors when it comes to psych meds, but the fact that yours is aware of these issues is encouraging and I'd like to hear what that doc says.  (I don't recall reading above that they gave you suggestions at this point, so please pardon me if I accidentally missed that info while reading.)

I would not advise sneaking the magnesium up.  I would not advise increasing or adding any supplements.

*I'm not a doctor and don't give medical advice, just personal experience
**Off all meds since Nov. 2014. Mentally & emotionally recovered; physically not
-Dual cold turkeys off TCA & Ativan in Oct 2014. Prescribed from 2011-2014

-All meds were Rxed off-label for an autoimmune illness.  It was a MISDIAGNOSIS, but I did not find out until AFTER meds caused damage.  All med tapers/cold turkeys directed by doctors 

-Nortriptyline May 2012 - Dec 2013. Cold turkey off nortrip & cold switched to desipramine

-Desipramine Jan 2014 - Oct. 29, 2014 (rapid taper/cold turkey)

-Lorazepam 1 mg per night during 2011
-Lorazepam 1 mg per month in 2012 (or less)

-Lorazepam on & off, Dec 2013 through Aug 2014. Didn't exceed 3x a week

-Lorazepam again in Oct. 2014 to help get off of desipramine. Last dose lzpam was 1 mg, Nov. 2, 2014. Immediate paradoxical reactions to benzos after stopping TCAs 

-First muscle/dystonia side effects started on nortriptyline, but docs too stupid to figure it out. On desipramine, muscle tremors & rigidity worsened

-Two weeks after I got off all meds, I developed full-blown TD.  Tardive dystonia, dyskinesia, myoclonic jerks ALL over body, ribcage wiggles, facial tics, twitching tongue & fingers, tremors/twitches of arms, legs, cognitive impairment, throat muscles semi-paralyzed & unable to swallow solid food, brain zaps, ears ring, dizzy, everything looks too far away, insomnia, numbness & electric shocks everywhere when I try to fall asleep, jerk awake from sleep with big, gasping breaths, wake with terrors & tremors, severely depressed.  NO HISTORY OF DEPRESSION, EVER. Meds CREATED it.

-Month 7: hair falling out; no vision improvement; still tardive dystonia; facial & tongue tics returned
-Month 8: back to acute, incl. Grand Mal seizure-like episodes. New mental torment, PGAD, worse insomnia
-Month 9: tardive dystonia worse, dyskinesia returned. Unable to breathe well due to dystonia in stomach, chest, throat
-Month 13: Back to acute, brain zaps back, developed eczema & stomach problems. Left leg no longer works right due to dystonia, meaning both legs now damaged
-7 years off: Huge improvements, incl. improved dystonia

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Doc mentioned that all ssri’s carry risk of side effects. Talked about perhaps taking a med different choice for anxiety. Used hydroxyzine as an example.  

Didnt get into specifics.  

 

What id like to see is some discussion between a competent psych and neurologist to discuss options. 

We’ll see. 

Zoloft- 2010-2014 Lexa Aug 2015 Oct2017 Zoloft 50mg. Dec 17-May18

Cital 10mg May-18 to July 16 18

9.0 cital to 6.5mg,  July 30 18

7.0 mg cital liquid - until 11/23/18 /5.0 mg cital liquid - 7-13-19 4.6mg cital liquid - 7-14-19 - 8-13-19/4.2mg cital liquid - 8-14-19 - 9-13-19/4.0 mg cital liquid - 9-14-19- 11-20-19 -3.8mg-11/19-1-20. 3.7mg 6-20 3.2mg currently at 3.0mg cital liquid. 
2/20 added sodium alginate for gerd - caused updose. 

pantoprazole added 6/20. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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4 hours ago, Altostrata said:

What were the circumstances that caused you to go on sertraline in 2012?

Actually I believe it was late 2009-2010.  Anxiety and irrational worry. Completing graduate degree, first child born and complete change of life.   That and some OCPD tendencies.  Growing up, one would say.  

Most were quickly dealt with by use of these meds.  I had little side effect but weight gain, so I continued.  If I only knew then.......oh well.

I am a catastrophizer.  Everything is worst case scenario, until it isn’t.   This is a coping tactic.  Prepare for the worst, then when you get less horrible news, or no bad news at all, you get a wave of relief of anxiety.   Or you get the rights to say “see I was right”, when even the most inocuous things go wrong.   It is what I am doing now with all of these tests.  Scaring myself into panic worrying about the possible scenarios.   As well as panicking and worrying about this very minor tremor that no one notices but me being my companion for the rest of my life.    I’m feeling sorry for myself cause I’m scared something worse could be wrong and I don’t know how I’ll handle that type of problem if it were to change my family and life.   

 

Zoloft- 2010-2014 Lexa Aug 2015 Oct2017 Zoloft 50mg. Dec 17-May18

Cital 10mg May-18 to July 16 18

9.0 cital to 6.5mg,  July 30 18

7.0 mg cital liquid - until 11/23/18 /5.0 mg cital liquid - 7-13-19 4.6mg cital liquid - 7-14-19 - 8-13-19/4.2mg cital liquid - 8-14-19 - 9-13-19/4.0 mg cital liquid - 9-14-19- 11-20-19 -3.8mg-11/19-1-20. 3.7mg 6-20 3.2mg currently at 3.0mg cital liquid. 
2/20 added sodium alginate for gerd - caused updose. 

pantoprazole added 6/20. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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  • Administrator

That's very insightful. To go off drugs, you'll need to learn to manage those habits of mind, or your behavior is going to take you back to psychiatric treatment. You are fortunate that you found the one neurologist in 50 who did not immediately tear off another prescription for you.

 

Most likely, your habits of mind are not neurologically based but ways of thinking instilled by long-ago coping mechanisms. Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) can teach you other habits. Same with meditating or any number of non-drug techniques, including psychotherapies that might help you look at the causes.

 

We have an official policy of not enabling self-harming behavior here. Catastrophizing is off the table, you need to get real to deal with withdrawal syndrome. We need you to report symptoms accurately, without exaggeration so we can figure out ways to reduce them.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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@Altostrata Thanks for the support.  I plan to look into CBT for sure.  I appreciate your point about being clear and rational about symptoms.    

 FYI- I am holding at 5.0. I am feeling the adrenaline and high heart rate phase wear off and I’m not ruminating as much.  (This has happened every time I have reduced). 

The worst case scenario rumination is my main problem.  I’m susceptible when I reduce.   And it can get bad.  I read Breggin’s “Guilt, Fear, and Shame”. Honestly, I wasn’t impressed.  It didnt leave me with much more than any layperson’s self help book.  But CBT seems to be what I need.  The trained anxious mind can find a way around almost any argument though.  

Again, thanks for being the stalwart lighthouse in the fog that you always are.  

W77

Zoloft- 2010-2014 Lexa Aug 2015 Oct2017 Zoloft 50mg. Dec 17-May18

Cital 10mg May-18 to July 16 18

9.0 cital to 6.5mg,  July 30 18

7.0 mg cital liquid - until 11/23/18 /5.0 mg cital liquid - 7-13-19 4.6mg cital liquid - 7-14-19 - 8-13-19/4.2mg cital liquid - 8-14-19 - 9-13-19/4.0 mg cital liquid - 9-14-19- 11-20-19 -3.8mg-11/19-1-20. 3.7mg 6-20 3.2mg currently at 3.0mg cital liquid. 
2/20 added sodium alginate for gerd - caused updose. 

pantoprazole added 6/20. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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All tests normal.   What a (non) surprise.  But frankly, I’m glad I did it to eliminate the possibility of something worse.   

Once again, the peers are this site are proven right.   

Thanks for your continued support

W77

Zoloft- 2010-2014 Lexa Aug 2015 Oct2017 Zoloft 50mg. Dec 17-May18

Cital 10mg May-18 to July 16 18

9.0 cital to 6.5mg,  July 30 18

7.0 mg cital liquid - until 11/23/18 /5.0 mg cital liquid - 7-13-19 4.6mg cital liquid - 7-14-19 - 8-13-19/4.2mg cital liquid - 8-14-19 - 9-13-19/4.0 mg cital liquid - 9-14-19- 11-20-19 -3.8mg-11/19-1-20. 3.7mg 6-20 3.2mg currently at 3.0mg cital liquid. 
2/20 added sodium alginate for gerd - caused updose. 

pantoprazole added 6/20. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus
On 2/21/2019 at 8:26 AM, Windsor77 said:

All tests normal.   What a (non) surprise.  But frankly, I’m glad I did it to eliminate the possibility of something worse.   

Once again, the peers are this site are proven right.   

Thanks for your continued support

W77

 

There is nothing wrong with ruling stuff out while we go through WD.  It can even bring peace of mind, as it sounds like it did for you!

Edited by WiggleIt

*I'm not a doctor and don't give medical advice, just personal experience
**Off all meds since Nov. 2014. Mentally & emotionally recovered; physically not
-Dual cold turkeys off TCA & Ativan in Oct 2014. Prescribed from 2011-2014

-All meds were Rxed off-label for an autoimmune illness.  It was a MISDIAGNOSIS, but I did not find out until AFTER meds caused damage.  All med tapers/cold turkeys directed by doctors 

-Nortriptyline May 2012 - Dec 2013. Cold turkey off nortrip & cold switched to desipramine

-Desipramine Jan 2014 - Oct. 29, 2014 (rapid taper/cold turkey)

-Lorazepam 1 mg per night during 2011
-Lorazepam 1 mg per month in 2012 (or less)

-Lorazepam on & off, Dec 2013 through Aug 2014. Didn't exceed 3x a week

-Lorazepam again in Oct. 2014 to help get off of desipramine. Last dose lzpam was 1 mg, Nov. 2, 2014. Immediate paradoxical reactions to benzos after stopping TCAs 

-First muscle/dystonia side effects started on nortriptyline, but docs too stupid to figure it out. On desipramine, muscle tremors & rigidity worsened

-Two weeks after I got off all meds, I developed full-blown TD.  Tardive dystonia, dyskinesia, myoclonic jerks ALL over body, ribcage wiggles, facial tics, twitching tongue & fingers, tremors/twitches of arms, legs, cognitive impairment, throat muscles semi-paralyzed & unable to swallow solid food, brain zaps, ears ring, dizzy, everything looks too far away, insomnia, numbness & electric shocks everywhere when I try to fall asleep, jerk awake from sleep with big, gasping breaths, wake with terrors & tremors, severely depressed.  NO HISTORY OF DEPRESSION, EVER. Meds CREATED it.

-Month 7: hair falling out; no vision improvement; still tardive dystonia; facial & tongue tics returned
-Month 8: back to acute, incl. Grand Mal seizure-like episodes. New mental torment, PGAD, worse insomnia
-Month 9: tardive dystonia worse, dyskinesia returned. Unable to breathe well due to dystonia in stomach, chest, throat
-Month 13: Back to acute, brain zaps back, developed eczema & stomach problems. Left leg no longer works right due to dystonia, meaning both legs now damaged
-7 years off: Huge improvements, incl. improved dystonia

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