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Windsor77

Windsor77: Celexa - it's time for peace

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Windsor77

FYI. I took 6.5 mg an hour ago.   We’ll see what tomorrow brings. 

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ChessieCat

Keep symptom notes.  It's easy than trying to remember and more objective.

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Windsor77

6:30am - wake.  Hand/finger jerking.  

Walk dog. Shaky leg muscles. Shaky arms and hands.  

Jaw nerves twitching. 

I can feel this medicine in my nerves/muscles. 

I have no other way to explain it. 

 

I have read read this site pretty extensively.  I have read many instances where Alto and others have stated that reinstating any ssri after ct and withdrawal symptoms can be “too much” or too activating to the nervous system.  Considering that these symptoms presented AFTER I went back on Zoloft after 3 months of ct from lexapro, why does no one here suspect that this is what has been happening with me?  

From yesterday to today is a 180 degree turnaround. 

 

Take it from me, it’s too much.  Reread the descriptions of mild serotonin toxicity.  You’ll find that it sounds a lot like my symptoms. I have no fever, etc., but shaky, jittery, jerks weakness, numbness sensations, all more prominent and present when I dose.  

This site talks about how hyper sensitized we become.  

I spent yesterday feeling normal. This morning, it’s clear that this medicine is “activating” to my CNS.   

All of our experiences Are similar but also unique. 

 

 

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manymoretodays
5 hours ago, Windsor77 said:

I have read read this site pretty extensively.  I have read many instances where Alto and others have stated that reinstating any ssri after ct and withdrawal symptoms can be “too much” or too activating to the nervous system.  Considering that these symptoms presented AFTER I went back on Zoloft after 3 months of ct from lexapro, why does no one here suspect that this is what has been happening with me?  

 

This is what happened to you, yes, no argument there Windsor77.

 

5 hours ago, Windsor77 said:

Take it from me, it’s too much.  Reread the descriptions of mild serotonin toxicity.  You’ll find that it sounds a lot like my symptoms. I have no fever, etc., but shaky, jittery, jerks weakness, numbness sensations, all more prominent and present when I dose.  

This site talks about how hyper sensitized we become.  

I spent yesterday feeling normal. This morning, it’s clear that this medicine is “activating” to my CNS.   

All of our experiences Are similar but also unique. 

You'd be surprised though.......I think there is more similarity,  That is IF, you could find those with the same exact medication/drug history and history of W/D......be it tapering or C/T..... and life circumstances, environments, age, health in all dimensions(mind, body, spirit), etc.    It's hard to find a control group like that.

 

So.....hopefully you will find that you start to have more windows than not soon.  With a consistent approach.

The rule of 3KIS

Maybe this will help.  More of Alto's wisdom in the first post there.

 

Attitude, non drug coping, and a nice consistent approach.  I can't wait until the next window hits for you.  Go on back.....as I see that you felt pretty good in October and then again, not long ago at all.  I'm not trying to downplay your feelings of "it's too much" Windsor..........I've been there before too.......I found lot's of coping, non-drug coping to use that pulled me through until I got to the end of my taper.  And then.......even then........I had to deal with symptoms off and on.  And I still do.......usually only when something else comes up that causes my nervous system to react.......be it an emotional event, or ch ch ch changes that I'm making........or schedule and routine changes even sometimes.  Oye.....new stuff.....still = scary a bit for me,  sometimes still.  And then some of the symptoms that I'll still call secondary to W/D syndrome or secondary to medication toxicity.  I bet I had some serotonin toxicity too in my history.  But I have all these honed skills to use now, and a whole new philosophy, if you will.

 

Do you celebrate Gratitude Day and Month?  Formerly known to me as Thanksgiving.......and oh.......same thing I suppose.  Set your sights on happy things for today.  And I'm glad you went on back to 6.5 mg.  Might I mention that many of us, me included tend to go through an angry phase or irritable discontent........for me, it was out of this world crabbiness for awhile.  And even that resolved, for the most part........I have my days or moments.

 

Do you do any meditation or walking even?  I found various things to help and now and then I switch  up my routines.......as I've never been "a real creature of habit".  I get easily bored yet do keep working on discipline and timeliness, knowing that they often pay off.  I sometimes "act as if...." even when feeling distressed.......until I can "act as I am". 

So.....yes, the notes......just so you start to see improvements even or know what does what to you.  I expect you might level off soon and I hope for the greatest window for you soon too!

 

.....and I do go on sometimes......maybe something in there will help you feel more understood.

 

Love, peace, healing, and growth,

mmt

 

 

 

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Windsor77

Thanks MMT. I do walk and do some meditation. It helps a little.  

 

I am hopeful to find a dose that eliminates the side effects.  I’d consider myself stable if I could do that.   

I’ll stay at 6.5 for a week or so.  Then perhaps go to 6mg.  

We shall see what the next week holds!

 

Hope and Healing to all!!!

W77

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Windsor77

No luck. As predicted. No change.  Though, I talked to my doc and I am gonna try the switch to lexapro 3.5mg on Monday to see if this reduces my symptoms.   I’ll also probably break down and see a neurologist.  After this long, I really need to rule out my fears. 

Again, I know the collective eye roll is taking place upon reading this, but we each have to go through our individual steps to acceptance. 

We will see.   Any thoughts?  I’d think I’d need to stay with same dose for a few weeks at least to get used to the new (old) drug.  

 

Thanks to Chessie and MMT for your continued support. 

 

W77

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ChessieCat

You said that you were better taking your previous dose every second day.  It seems like you are after a quick fix.  Before changing drugs why not continue to reduce a bit more to see if getting to a daily dose of 1/2 your previous dose works.

 

Remember you are trying to balance between what you think is a drug side effect and getting withdrawal symptoms.

 

Changing drugs can cause all sorts of problems. Possibly withdrawal symptoms from old drug, start up and/or side effects and/or bad reaction to the new drug.  Because of the change you won't know what is causing what.

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Windsor77

I hear you but I have already switched the script.    

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ChessieCat

You've only given it one of two days.  And you aren't down to 1/2 dose yet.  As I said, you are after a quick fix.  You said that you felt better on 1/2 the dose.  It is going to take a little bit of time to do the fast taper.  My suggestion seems like a logical (possible) solution, yet you don't seem willing to give it the short amount time to find out if it will work.

 

It takes about 4 days for a dose change to get to a steady level in the blood and a bit longer for it to register in the brain.

 

On 11/16/2018 at 7:11 AM, Windsor77 said:

I’ll stay at 6.5 for a week or so.  Then perhaps go to 6mg.  

We shall see what the next week holds!

 

You haven't even stuck to what you said you were going to try.

 

2 hours ago, Windsor77 said:

No luck. As predicted. No change.

 

It's only be 1 or 2 days on the lower dose.  Seems like you had already decided that it wasn't going to work.

 

50 minutes ago, Windsor77 said:

I have already switched the script.

 

I'm assuming you still have citalopram left.  You can still try what I suggested.  If it works then you can tell the doctor you changed your mind and decided to stick with the former drug instead of trying a different drug.

 

We make suggestions but it is your decision what you decide to do.

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Altostrata
2 hours ago, Windsor77 said:

No luck. As predicted. No change.  Though, I talked to my doc and I am gonna try the switch to lexapro 3.5mg on Monday to see if this reduces my symptoms.   I’ll also probably break down and see a neurologist.  After this long, I really need to rule out my fears. 

 

Hello, Windsor. Withdrawal symptoms are very poorly understood, even by psychiatrists and neurologists.

 

You can clearly see your symptoms are drug-related. A neurological exam is unnecessary. A genetic test will show nothing useful. Your doctor is barking up all kinds of wrong trees.

 

What we see here is going on and off psychiatric drugs often makes you hypersensitive to drugs and sometimes supplements and foods. More is not better. Yes, it's possible that when you reinstated 10mg citalpram, you overshot considerably, maybe by 100% or more.

 

Since you find relief when you take none -- some amount still being in your bloodstream from your previous dose -- It could be that 5mg citalopram or even less would be sufficient.

 

Switching to 3.5mg Lexapro, citalopram's stronger sibling, is not going to help, either. You'd be taking a dose equivalent to 7mg citalopram in a different, harsher drug.

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Windsor77

Thanks Alto.  I will ask my doc to hold the switch.   I really appreciate everyone’s help and guidance.   

 

I value this site and everyone on it so much, that I cannot put it into words.  

Thanks

W77

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ChessieCat

It's important not to panic and end up making hasty decisions.  Please be patient.

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JackieDecides
On 7/16/2018 at 6:18 PM, Windsor77 said:

It then occurred to me after, so many years of wondering “why me”, that anxiety is a narcissist.   Having grown up with one, and encountered many (occasionally in the mirror), I know how they work.  They have the upper hand when you are down, they thrive on the tiny cracks in our confidence, they demand constant attention, and grow more powerful when they get it.   Maybe after all, for me this anxiety, though likely genetic, manifests due to the experiences we go through at certain points.   The deep pain we all sometime experience burns in to the mind as the most vivid of memories, in many cases more so than the happiest times.   Our brains revert to the conditioning they received......that which caused us to doubt our inner compass and fear the uncertainty of life.   When we are taught that we must be prepared for everything, or we are inferior, the uncertainty of life becomes a huge obstacle.  

 

I don't know if this is 100% true or mostly true or just sort of true ( just true for you) but I wanted to tell you, even though you aren't all the way off drugs like I am, you already write much better.  I think I would almost rather have more physical symptoms and less of the "can't think, write badly and with great effort" symptoms but maybe not. who knows.

 

anyway, in the pre-dawn darkness after yet another night of not nearly enough sleep, I wanted to say you write good* I hope you can appreciate that! 😍

 

*um, well. you write well. 

 

ps I also have GAD and I really need to re-do my signature to make it easier to read

 

and I hate it when I can't think/write!!!!!!!!!!!

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Windsor77
7 hours ago, ChessieCat said:

It's important not to panic and end up making hasty decisions.  Please be patient.

Great summary of how I’ve been feeling/acting.

 

Thanks to you all for your help and counsel.  

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Windsor77
46 minutes ago, JackieDecides said:

 

I don't know if this is 100% true or mostly true or just sort of true ( just true for you) but I wanted to tell you, even though you aren't all the way off drugs like I am, you already write much better.  I think I would almost rather have more physical symptoms and less of the "can't think, write badly and with great effort" symptoms but maybe not. who knows.

 

anyway, in the pre-dawn darkness after yet another night of not nearly enough sleep, I wanted to say you write good* I hope you can appreciate that! 😍

 

*um, well. you write well. 

 

ps I also have GAD and I really need to re-do my signature to make it easier to read

 

and I hate it when I can't think/write!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks!   I used to like to write more.  I appreciate your comments.  

Hang in there. The mental fog breaks.  

Now if I can find a way to shake the physical symptoms, I’ll be ok.  We all will eventually. 

 

W77

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