MisterX: trauma caused by Lexapro reinstatement

[MisterX]

Hello all.

 

A brief synopsis - I was on Lexapro 10 MG for panic disorder for 8 years (not depression). Late last year I began tapering off the Lexapro and effectively finished tapering in April. In May I scheduled an appointment with a doctor to address a binge drinking problem I've had for several years. I was prescribed Naltrexone to help with my alcohol issue. I took 25 MG of Naltrexone for 6 days. Felt lousy, but everything else was fine. Near the end of my 6 days on Naltrexone I also reinstated Lexapro at 10 MG. 

 

At this time I read some online posts about Naltrexone side effects and developed tremendous anxiety when reading it was a dopamine blocker. Something about the idea of that really freaked me out. But I also seemed to have a mental breakdown during this time as well that I believe was caused by the Lexapro reinstatement. 

 

It was a powerful trauma that I can't seem to overcome. I reduced my Lexapro dose to 5 MG the following week and that weekend suffered another powerful trauma in the form of deep depressive episodes that lasted around 3 days. I frantically drove myself to various ERs and psychiatric centers begging them to help me. I had never felt like that before. It's hard to describe how deep this depression was. After those 3 days of hell, I tapered off the Lexapro.

 

I haven't been the same since. I tried to reinstate the Lexapro again a week ago and suffered from sleeplessness, anxiety, depression, and no appetite and stopped taking it after only two days of 5 MG.

 

One thing I've noticed, that's pretty scary, is I now have the inability feel the warm buzz after drinking alcohol. I used to get that euphoric feeling after a couple beers. I've been testing this by drinking a handful of times since the reinstatement and I can't feel that warm buzz anymore.

 

I also can't seem to get a runner's high when I run. 

 

I'm going to stop the Lexapro for good this time. I'm not going to continue taking it, eventually bumping up to 10 MG and risking what could be another episode of deep depressive symptoms that made me unable to function and caused trauma. I was doing fine earlier this year!

 

Does anybody have any idea why I can't feel the warm buzz after drinking alcohol anymore? Why I can't get a runner's high? 

 

I've consulted numerous doctors and have had so many people online tell me that it's not the Naltrexone that caused those symptoms and that endorphins cannot be blocked forever by Naltrexone. 

 

Will my brain heal? I'm done with antidepressants and alcohol. I'm currently taking fish oil and multivitamin and just want to give my brain a rest. But I'm very, very scared that I've caused permanent damage from the Lexapro reinstatement. I had no idea that was going to happen to me.

[mammaP]

Hi MisterX, welcome to SA.  

When someone stops a drug, then starts again they often can't tolerate the same doses. Here at SA we frequently recommend very tiny doses of 0.5 to 1mg for reinstatement and have some success with it. There were a lot of changes for your brain to have to try and adjust to. It had worked around lexapro for years and then it was tapered too fast ( not your fault, you did your best ). Stopped Lexapro and alcohol at the same time as starting another drug, naltrexone.  Now your brain and nervous system are trying to regain normality. Everythuing has changed and your body is possibly no lonmger tolerating the alcohol but you are craving it for the good feelings.  Most of us can no longer tolerate alcohol in withdrawal, it makes it much worse.  Caffeine and energy drinks can also be bad,, lots of us have had to let those go too. You are suffering from withdrawal and what sounds very much like a reaction to naltrexone. It will take time to recover but you will get there.   I will get some links for you to read so that you can understand what is happening. 

 

What is withdrawal syndrome

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/603-what-is-withdrawal-syndrome/

 

As you recover you will go through the windows and waves pattern, don't be afraid of this, it is part of the healing process.

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/82-the-windows-and-waves-pattern-of-stabilization/

 

Brain remodelling

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/1160-how-psychiatric-drugs-remodel-your-brain/

 

 

Reinstating to stabilise. You would need to read this very carefully if you would like to reinstate a very tiny dose of lexapro.

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/7562-about-reinstating-and-stabilizing-to-reduce-withdrawal-symptoms/

 

Tapering lexapro, this will tell you how you would get that tiny dose

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/406-tapering-off-lexapro-escitalopram/

 

We need all our members to ill in their signature with their drug and tapering history. You can find instructions here. 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/18343-please-put-your-withdrawal-history-in-your-signature/

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited August 12, 2018 by manymoretodays
updated signature link

[MisterX]

Has anybody else had this experience? Ive tried to reinstate Lexapro 3 times now since May. My first time, I ended up with such severe depressive symptoms that it drove to various ERs and psychiatric centers. I've never felt that low of a depression (I was put on Lexapro originally 8 years ago for panic attacks, not anxiety). 

 

Last December I started tapering off Lexapro over the course of 5-6 months. Now, upon reading this forum I understand this is considered a fast taper, but my doctor's orders were an even faster taper. I was feeling fine until I had a series of anxiety attacks/mental breakdowns in May. Now, I've read a little bit about trauma-induced mental breakdowns and sequently anhedonia. That's what I'm experiencing. I feel like I've been "knocked down a few pegs" mood wise. I feel like I was on a shelf before my breakdowns, I wasn't skipping down the road but I was more than fine, and now I can't get up to that shelf again. I feel permanently flat. It's an extremely uncomfortable and frightening feeling and it doesn't help that my catastrophic thinking is making me think it's permanent. 

 

Does anybody think it is? Can coming off Lexapro 10 MG having taken it over the course of 8 years, then having a mental breakdown after taking 25 MG of Naltrexone for 6 days straight (reading about the side effects of Naltrexone caused the mental breakdown), and a couple reinstatement attempts at 5 mg and 10 MG cause some permanent damage to my brain? I had an MRI and CT scan and everything is normal and healthy. BUT I AM DESPERATE TO JUST FEEL NORMAL AGAIN, I DON'T NEED TO BE SKIPPING DOWN THE ROAD BUT I CAN'T STAND THIS ANHEDONIA. God, help me. Please help me. 

 

Has anybody had any experience with anhedonia and does it go away? What do you think exactly happened to me?

[Rabe]

I have and I have heard many others talk about it in more depth...I never had a name for it but I just felt no joy...but did feel the sadness and depression.

It comes and goes.  Perhaps post on your intro site and you might get a better response MX?  And you can actually ask the moderators if you'd like.

It would be helpful for you to have a signature...that shows up at the bottom of your posts with all the drugs you have been one...when started and decreased and stopped and restarted or changed etc.  That way the moderators and others can have a better idea of what is causing what.

 

If you go to your M up on the right hand corner and click on the arrow and then in the drop down click on account settings, in the left hand corner there is a box and one of the items is 'signature'...click on that to complete it.  I think you will get more help that way.

 

Take care!!

[Gridley]

MisterX,

 

As Rabe suggested, you should repost your questions on our Introductions & Updates forum.  You'll get a better response.  Brief answer--anhedonia is a common withdrawal symptom,

it does get better, but it takes time.

 

To give members the best information, we ask them to summarize their medication history in a signature -- drugs, doses, dates, and discontinuations & reinstatements, in the last 12-24 months particularly.

 

Account Settings – Create or Edit a signature.

 

Please include the dates of your taper, the rate at which you tapered, and whether you did every-other-day dosing.  Please keep your signature as simple and easy to read as possible.

 

[Happy2Heal]

hi MIsterX

you're symptoms are quite common for withdrawal and they will all improve in time

 

have you started a topic in the Introductions section? that's the best way to get your questions answered and get advice that is specific for your personal situation

 

 

[manymoretodays]

Updated your signature link MisterX:  Please put your withdrawal history in your signature

There is another link in that post that will take you right to your signature for writing or editing.........or use the link that Gridley provided above to get there, when you've read through what we like to see in a signature.

 

Thank you.

mmt

 

[MisterX]

Hey everyone. I wanted to post an update about my situation. I was on Lexapro 10 MG for around 8 years. I tapered off early this year over the course of 4-5 months. This was WAY slower than the taper schedule my doctor gave me (I think that was over the course of 3 weeks or so). This was back before I discovered this site and learned about proper taper. 

 

Anyway, I went through some really bad times earlier this year due to tapering off the Lexapro. Intense depressive symptoms, heightened anxiety, bad OCD loops, just generally feeling like I was going crazy.

 

I'm much better now, but still healing. I'm experiencing the windows and waves that this site introduced me to. There are some days that I feel okay, and I'll make a note of it in my notebook, "I'm feeling a window now". These have happened only a handful of times since early this year.

 

I'm writing to you guys now because the last couple weeks have been tough for me. I'm having serious OCD issues, and it's getting bad. I'm still able to go to work, clean my apartment, and live my life. But I'm constantly being bombarded with intrusive, irrational thoughts about contamination (I'm a compulsive and ritualistic hand washer), and I think I may have tinnitus sometimes in my right ear, I notice it in the mornings the most, but some days it's not there at all. My nights are not restful at all, I'm getting 8 hours of sleep a night thankfully but I don't feel at peace at night, and am having a lot of nightmares recently. 

 

I've read on this site that healing fully from SSRIs can take up to two years. For those who have gone through the SSRI healing process, what stage am I at right now 6 months after my last dose? 

 

I feel like I can get through this. But I hope to god that I start to feel better in the near future. 

 

One last thing, I quit drinking, I run 3 miles a day 5 days a week, eat relatively healthy, take a good multivitamin and fish oil, get 8 hours of sleep a night, play Brain Age, and I'm learning about meditation. Is there anything critical that I'm missing from my healing plan?

 

Thank you

[Altostrata]

@MisterX I moved your post here, to update your Intro topic.

 

If you had an obsessive habit of mind before you went on drugs, you're likely to have it off drugs, too. Have you tried Cognitive Behavior Therapy? Also see

 

Non-drug techniques to cope with emotional symptoms

 

Health anxiety, hypochondria, and obsession with symptoms

 

Do you have any other symptoms now? Good to hear your sleep is okay, please take care of that.

 

To help us out, follow these instructions Please put your drug and withdrawal history in your signature