Deeside81: Finally off antidepressants

[Deeside81]

Hello,

 

I have now been antidepressant free for 3 weeks and 2 days. As you can see from my signature it’s the first time since 2003 I’ve not had to medicate.  I have been having some withdrawal like symptoms ( I hope!). These are: brain zaps ( now less intense and only a few a day), losing my temper at the smallest of things, lots of memories resurfacing ( some are very  minor and I’m surprised I still have that memory at all) , negative thoughts and ruminating on them, depression and insomnia. All of these apart from the  insomnia are definitely less intense and it seems to be getting fewer and far between. I have been exercising nearly every day outside, eating “clean” and taking fish oil and 5 htp.  Is there a good chance that the depression is rebound? I mean it just seems ridiculously intense at times and the thoughts going through my head are at a hundred miles an hour. I’m  sure it wasn’t like that before I started to take meds. Today though, there hasn’t been too much rumination and I seem to be able to let it pass or sort out the problem thought more quickly. Is there anything else you’d recommend to help with the healing process? Any books you can recommend that contains info  about overcoming antidepressants after quitting? I had seen a couple but it seems to focus on withdrawing from the medication. 

 

Thanks in advance. 

 

J. 

 

Fluoxetine 2004- 2009 40mg
Citalopram 2009- 2012 40mg 
Esciralopram - 2012 - 2013 - 20mg
Mirtazipine - May 2013 - June 2013 45mg
Setraline - June 2013 - October 2013 200mg
Venlafaxine - October 2013 - April 2014 375mg
Escitlopram - April 2014 20mg 
Added Quetiapine - October 2015 200 mg
Added Trazadone 50mg November 2015
Withdrew Quetiapine and Trazadone Summer/Autumn 2016
Escitalopram -  taper August 2017 to December 2017  20mg to 10mg
Escitalopram taper April 2018 to 6th July 2018 10mg to 0mg. 

 

 

 

Edited August 1, 2018 by ChessieCat
reduced font size

[mammaP]

Hi J, welcome to SA.  You have had a lot of antidepressants over the years,  and your brain has to regain balance without them. This is not relapse but is withdrawal.  You could find that symptoms become more intense, then they will get easier before getting worse again. This is the windows and waves pattern of recovery. When people go to the doctor with these symptoms they are told it is relapse and they need the drug for life. As you have said, the symptoms are very different from whatever led to taking them. 

Withdrawal or relapse

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/14870-withdrawal-or-relapse-or-something-else/

Windows and waves

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/82-the-windows-and-waves-pattern-of-recovery/

 

This is an excellent topic that explains what is happening in your brain when taking and quitting the drugs. 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/1160-how-psychiatric-drugs-remodel-your-brain/

 

We don't recommend 5HTP because it can make things worse for some people. It affects the same transmitters as the drugs and would also need to be tapered. It can be activating in a a way that is not comfortable when in withdrawal. 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/9933-5-htp-5-hydroxytryptophan-and-l-tryptophan/

 

We recommend fish oil and magnesium, many people find them very helpful, start with a very low dose and increase gradually. 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1300-magnesium-natures-calcium-channel-blocker/

 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/36-king-of-supplements-omega-3-fatty-acids-fish-oil/

 

What is withdrawal symdrome

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/603-what-is-withdrawal-syndrome/

 

We have many topics on coping with emotional symptoms, both during and after withdrawal. It is important to know how to deal with issues that led to being prescribed the drugs. 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/1112-non-drug-techniques-to-cope-with-emotional-symptoms/

 

THank you for making the list of drugs for us, it is very helpful. Can you copy and paste it into your signature for us? This will take you to the signature box, copy the list into it then click save. 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/settings/signature/

 

If it becomes too much you might want to consider reinstating a very very tiny dose of 1mg escitalopram,  which can be very effective. When stabilised it can be tapered slowly. 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/7562-about-reinstating-and-stabilizing-to-reduce-withdrawal-symptoms/

This link will tell you how to get that tiny dose if you need to. 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/406-tapering-off-lexapro-escitalopram/

 

[Deeside81]

Thank you very much for  the detailed reply.

 

Will tryptophan be ok to take instead of 5htp? 

 

Thanks. 

 

J. 

 

 

 

 

[ChessieCat]

24 minutes ago, Deeside81 said:

Will tryptophan be ok to take instead of 5htp? 

 

Please see this topic: 5-htp-5-hydroxytryptophan-and-l-tryptophan

 

The only know way to reduce withdrawal symptoms is to reinstate the drug you have stopped taking.  SA recommends trying a small dose.  Please read Post #1 of this topic:  About reinstating and stabilizing to reduce withdrawal symptoms

 

mammaP's suggestion:

 

On 7/31/2018 at 8:14 PM, mammaP said:

If it becomes too much you might want to consider reinstating a very very tiny dose of 1mg escitalopram,  which can be very effective.

 

[Altostrata]

Hello, Dee.

 

Withdrawal insomnia is very common and could be affecting your mood. If it's been getting worse, that could be a real problem. Those initial symptoms such as brain zaps are the acute symptoms. (They are not trivial, but it's good they're getting less frequent.) You may be going into post-acute withdrawal syndrome.

 

You may be sensitive to light, and if you use your computer late at night, you could be breaking your own sleep. Please see if you can improve your sleep. see Important topics about symptoms, including sleep problems

 

 

[Deeside81]

Hi,

 

The thought of reinstating the antidepressant really doesn’t appeal. Well for the time being. I don’t know why but I think I’ll wait until around October time and reevaluate. 3 month mark. 

 

After reading your advice I took heed and stopped supplementing with 5htp. I still take tryptophan and fish oil and  a multivitamin. 

 

The sleep has definitely improved. I would say symptoms have improved a little and the thoughts aren’t so racing. God I wish I could have a few glasses of wine though. Just seems like it would be a nice break and relax. I know I really shouldn’t and I’ve not touched a drop since April.  I’ve neen exercising constantly and eating very healthily where I’ve lost over a stone. I actually flipped and stormed off due comment from a friend that said I shouldn’t lose any more weight. I actually acted like a complete child and was filled with rage.  I was shaking.  To me in my head it means I look dreadful at an actual healthy weight.  I realise this could be the depression and the negative thinking.  I was shocked at my reaction and feeling. I swear I wasn’t like that before I started the antidepressants. Hopefully those kind of reactions is just solely a side effect from withdrawal. 

 

I think i just need hope that it’s all withdrawal and I’ll be fine again.  

 

Thanks. 

 

Joe. 

 

 

[Deeside81]

I give up. It’s too much. I can’t see light at end of tunnel. And there is just not enough evidence to sugest going off antidepressants is beneficial for people have real depression. Why do it?  I don’t think the risk of waiting for a couple months to see if I feel slightly better is worth it. I have to be able to function and I need to work. 

[Altostrata]

Hi, Dee. Please don't blame yourself, we have many people here who have gone off the drugs too fast and had to backtrack a bit.

 

Irritability is a common withdrawal symptom.

 

A very small dose reinstatement may be enough to reduce your withdrawal symptoms. We have many people who have had success with this. Please re-read

 

On 7/31/2018 at 3:14 AM, mammaP said:

If it becomes too much you might want to consider reinstating a very very tiny dose of 1mg escitalopram,  which can be very effective. When stabilised it can be tapered slowly. 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/7562-about-reinstating-and-stabilizing-to-reduce-withdrawal-symptoms/

This link will tell you how to get that tiny dose if you need to. 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/406-tapering-off-lexapro-escitalopram/

 

Escilatopram comes in a prescription liquid that enables taking a small dose.

 

If 1mg doesn't seem to do anything, you can always increase it a little bit to get to the right reinstatement dosage for you. You'd stabilize on that dosage for some months, then taper off by tiny amounts.

 

Many people do better with fish oil and magnesium supplements, see http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/36-king-of-supplements-omega-3-fatty-acids-fish-oil/
http://survivingantidepressants.org/topic/15483-magnesium-natures-calcium-channel-blocker/

 

A lot of people find them helpful. Try a little bit of one at a time to see how it affects you.

 

To help us out, follow these instructions Please put your drug and withdrawal history in your signature

[Deeside81]

I think it a relapse though. I feel hopeless last 2 days and starting to retreat. It’s a slippery slope snd once in that dark huge hole it’s jusy too tough to get out of so I think I may start the medication again.  Have dr appointment tomorrow  

[Deeside81]

Restarted 10mg of Escitalopram from advice of Dr. Now been a week on them.  Feeling more much more depressed. Now struggling to get out of bed.  Feel exhausted and feel I can’t get enough sleep.  Hopefully this will pass soon. 

[TikkiTikki]

Hi Dee, I think there is a good chance it will pass, but may take a while. When I reinstated it took 7 weeks to feel well again, but I was drugfree for longer so that may have prolonged the reinstatement. 

 

And for what it's worth, I really think you were suffering withdrawal, not relapse, from too fast a taper.  It is so very, very, very common. Don't let this scare you off tapering properly some time in the future, if that is what you want.

 

For now, hang in there. 

[Deeside81]

Thanks for your support.  I’m on day 11 so fingers crossed the light switch will be flipped on. That’s what it has been like for me in the past with increased doses so hopefully restarting will be the same.  

[jozeff]

Hi deeside,

 

I'm sorry you have to deal with all this. It must be really hard.

Why did you take your old dose again. Altostrata said it could be beneficial for you to take a small amount of escitalopram. What I've been reading here is that after a fast taper it is often best to start taking. Small dose of your med because you might have become very sensitive to them. My doctor advised me taking between 10.and 30 mg citalopram in a blink of an eye. If I don't feel great within 2 weeks...whoppa 10 mg extra citalopram on my prescription. Be careful with  your dose and try to take things slow...... that's what I have learned here.

 

Good luck and hope you feel better soon!!

 

Cheers 

 

Jozeff