Jump to content
marconyc

marconyc: introduction

Recommended Posts

marconyc
16 minutes ago, Gridley said:

 

Sounds like things are well under control.  Congratulations on getting so low.

Thanks @Gridley 

 

Couldn't do this without the support of you and the others here at SA.

Share this post


Link to post
marconyc

Not feeling so good today. I feel anxious and depressed. I'm pretty sure that the last cut is hitting me now. I have other stuff going on, though, including a big writing project at work that is weighing on me. 

Share this post


Link to post
Gridley
On 6/19/2019 at 9:48 AM, marconyc said:

Not feeling so good today.  

 

Sorry you're feeling low today.

 

I wanted to congratulate you on becoming a Mentor.  You'll do a great job!

Share this post


Link to post
RichT
3 minutes ago, Gridley said:

 

Sorry you're feeling low today.

 

I wanted to congratulate you on becoming a Mentor.  You'll do a great job!

 

Hi Marconyc,

 

we are fellow Mentors! 

 

Best wishes

 

Rich

Share this post


Link to post
marconyc
47 minutes ago, Gridley said:

 

Sorry you're feeling low today.

 

I wanted to congratulate you on becoming a Mentor.  You'll do a great job!

 

Thanks, @Gridley! I appreciate the vote of confidence. 

43 minutes ago, RichT said:

 

Hi Marconyc,

 

we are fellow Mentors! 

 

Best wishes

 

Rich

Hey, congrats @RichT!

Share this post


Link to post
RichT

Hi Marconyc, how are you doing?

 

R

Share this post


Link to post
marconyc
On 7/4/2019 at 6:54 PM, RichT said:

Hi Marconyc, how are you doing?

 

R

@RichT I'm doing well, thanks. My wife and I went out of town for a few days for our anniversary, and I really didn't feel any symptoms of withdrawal, anxiety, depression, etc, which was wonderful. I'm still holding at 0.20 mg of Abilify and getting ready for another cut. I took this coming week off from work. I'm not going anywhere, but I need the break.

 

Yesterday, though, during my weekly therapy appointment, I felt some anxiety, and today I feel sad. I think I miss my father. My wife is 16 weeks along in her pregnancy, and I wish my dad were around for this. 

 

Maybe also my nervous system is unwinding after a few days off from work, and some unexpressed emotions are bubbling up to the surface. 

 

How are you these days?

Share this post


Link to post
RichT

Hi Marconyc,

 

it’s great you felt fine on your trip. That’s very good news!

 

i’m in a wave at the moment, but coping ok. My arms ache intensely, like they are bruised, and my legs a bit less. I feel enormous fatigue and daytime sleepiness, though i’m mostly sleeping very well. 

 

I’m very worried about a fellow member of these forums who was admitted to a psychiatric unit a few days ago. We haven’t heard anything from her since whereas she used to post 3 to 4 times a day. What does it mean? It’s impossible to say, but I wish we would hear from her. 

 

‘’Warmest wishes,

 

Rich

Share this post


Link to post
marconyc
13 minutes ago, RichT said:

Hi Marconyc,

 

it’s great you felt fine on your trip. That’s very good news!

 

i’m in a wave at the moment, but coping ok. My arms ache intensely, like they are bruised, and my legs a bit less. I feel enormous fatigue and daytime sleepiness, though i’m mostly sleeping very well. 

 

I’m very worried about a fellow member of these forums who was admitted to a psychiatric unit a few days ago. We haven’t heard anything from her since whereas she used to post 3 to 4 times a day. What does it mean? It’s impossible to say, but I wish we would hear from her. 

 

‘’Warmest wishes,

 

Rich

 

Hey @RichT,

 

It's funny, I had this wonderful time away with my wife, and today I felt anxious and depressed. I have off from work this week. I have this tendency to work so hard and not pay adequate attention to my emotions, in spite of weekly therapy, and then when I have a break, I get overwhelmed by a rush of feelings. I cried so hard today, not even sure exactly why. But I feel quite a bit better having done it.

 

Sorry to hear you're in a wave. It sounds like most of your symptoms are physical. Do you think the physical symptoms are at base emotional (eg, depression or anxiety) and getting expressed physically? Or do you think they are at base physical? Or both?

 

Also very sorry to hear about the SA member who was recently admitted. I'm not sure what it means that she hasn't been in touch. Let me know if you hear anything. I hope she's okay.

 

Marco

Share this post


Link to post
manymoretodays

Hi marconyc and RichT,

 

Thank you, thank you both for mentoring.

 

On 7/7/2019 at 11:40 AM, marconyc said:

I'm doing well, thanks. My wife and I went out of town for a few days for our anniversary, and I really didn't feel any symptoms of withdrawal, anxiety, depression, etc, which was wonderful. I'm still holding at 0.20 mg of Abilify and getting ready for another cut. I took this coming week off from work. I'm not going anywhere, but I need the break.

 

Yesterday, though, during my weekly therapy appointment, I felt some anxiety, and today I feel sad. I think I miss my father. My wife is 16 weeks along in her pregnancy, and I wish my dad were around for this. 

 

Maybe also my nervous system is unwinding after a few days off from work, and some unexpressed emotions are bubbling up to the surface. 

Yes, wonderful and happy anniversary.  Hugs marconyc, sorry about the loss of your Dad.

 

L, P, H, and G,

mmt

Share this post


Link to post
marconyc
13 hours ago, manymoretodays said:

Hi marconyc and RichT,

 

Thank you, thank you both for mentoring.

 

Yes, wonderful and happy anniversary.  Hugs marconyc, sorry about the loss of your Dad.

 

L, P, H, and G,

mmt

Thanks @manymoretodays

 

Still feeling pretty anxious today. I’m wondering if being away from work is part of the reason. I think deep down I might be worried about work piling up and feel a lack of control. I just want to enjoy my time off. It’s frustrating and gets me down. Maybe if I keep busy doing things I enjoy, I’ll feel less anxious and depressed.

Share this post


Link to post
marconyc

@manymoretodays I’m thinking of making my next 10% cut of aripiprazole. What do you think?

Share this post


Link to post
manymoretodays

Hi marconyc,

5 weeks since your last taper.  And are you feeling as withdrawal stable as you can be? 

Or do you want to go another week?

 

You've got the experience now of a couple 10% tapers now too.  Do you feel at least as good as you did, when you did them.

Aren't you usually feeling the tapers at about 2 weeks after now?  And you are doing a good job giving a decent hold before the next cut or taper!

 

I think I'm asking back.......what do you think, too?  Because I know you are getting the hang of this now. B)

I'm happy to check your math too.

Give me all the details again, if you don't mind, on the math.

As well as your thoughts.

 

Thanks marconyc,

L, P, H, and G,

mmt

 

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
marconyc
9 hours ago, manymoretodays said:

Hi marconyc,

5 weeks since your last taper.  And are you feeling as withdrawal stable as you can be? 

Or do you want to go another week?

 

You've got the experience now of a couple 10% tapers now too.  Do you feel at least as good as you did, when you did them.

Aren't you usually feeling the tapers at about 2 weeks after now?  And you are doing a good job giving a decent hold before the next cut or taper!

 

I think I'm asking back.......what do you think, too?  Because I know you are getting the hang of this now. B)

I'm happy to check your math too.

Give me all the details again, if you don't mind, on the math.

As well as your thoughts.

 

Thanks marconyc,

L, P, H, and G,

mmt

 

 

 

@manymoretodays Thank you. I’m feeling pretty much WD normal. My last cut was June 8, so I’m well past the time that I usually feel the effects of the reduction. As you said, I usually feel the effects of a cut from 9 to 14 days after the reduction.

 

My current dose of aripiprazole is .20 mgai/.90 mgpw. 10% of .20 is .02, and .20 - 0.02 is .18 mgai. 10% of .90 is .09, and .9 - .09 is .81, which I’ll round down to .8 mgpw.

 

Does that sound correct?

Share this post


Link to post
manymoretodays
Posted (edited)
2 hours ago, marconyc said:

@manymoretodays Thank you. I’m feeling pretty much WD normal. My last cut was June 8, so I’m well past the time that I usually feel the effects of the reduction. As you said, I usually feel the effects of a cut from 9 to 14 days after the reduction.

 

My current dose of aripiprazole is .20 mgai/.90 mgpw. 10% of .20 is .02, and .20 - 0.02 is .18 mgai. 10% of .90 is .09, and .9 - .09 is .81, which I’ll round down to .8 mgpw.

 

Does that sound correct?

Pretty close.  I come up with a different mgpw and then grampw though.  I went on back to page 3 here to check again some of the initial weights and milligrams.

Okay, we had a 2mgai dose strength weighing in at 90 mgpw

(and I always like to know what it is going to be in gmpw- what you will see on your scale, so that would be 0.09 gmpw for the above)

 

Now you have a 0.20 dose strength weighing in at 9 mgpw or 0.009 gmpw(what you see on your scale).  I often just go to a mg to gram converter to check.

Is this correct?

 

Dose strength/mgai

10% of your 0.20 mgai is 0.18 mgai.  (I just multiply the current dose by .90 and get that, your method is also correct!)

Pill weight/mgpw

10% of 9 mgpw is then 8.1 mgpw.  (I used the same method as ^ and multiplied the mgpw by .90 again)

8.1 mgpw :  0.008 gmpw(what you'll see on your scale)

 

And yes, you almost have to round down, if you are using the Gem20.  Although, as a rule, it's usually best to round up whenever possible.  Harm reduction, and caution.  With your next tapers, we may have to get creative a bit, to not over taper.  Maybe @brassmonkey or @Gridley might have some ideas. I think both have worked with the Gem20 and getting down to lower doses.  

 

Good, good, on that you are feeling WD normal or WD stable.  Yay!

L, P, H, and G,

mmt

Edited by manymoretodays
okay, checked, flagged mods with more Gem20 use

Share this post


Link to post
brassmonkey

Hi Marco-- It looks like your calculations are correct, same with MMT's.  Her method of calculating is the easiest though, just a simple multiplication and done.  It did take me a minute on the units of measure mgpw and gmpw.  It looked like a typo.  For the gram measurements, like is displayed on the scale it would be clearer to use gpw.

 

The gemini 20  is good down to 4mgpw (0.004) below that it has trouble with accuracy.  So you have several more cuts that can be directly weighed on the scale.  After that I found it easiest to weigh out the 4mgpw and visually divide it into quarters and work from there.  Not as accurate, but gets the job done. For the next several cuts you will have to do some rounding on the weight numbers. It's easiest to use the standard rounding rules of above 5 round up, below 5 round down.  Again not as accurate as we would like, but the differences are so small that unless you are very, very sensitive they shouldn't make a difference.

Share this post


Link to post
marconyc
Posted (edited)

@manymoretodays @Gridley Thanks for confirming the amount of my next cut and for the advice on tapering with the Gemini. Much appreciated. I’ll keep you both posted as I proceed.

 

I hope you’re both doing well on your respective journeys. 

 

I took this this past week off from work and felt quite a bit of anxiety over the loss of control. Basically, in the back of my mind I’ve been worried about work piling up. For the most part, I was able to distract myself and relax by playing soccer, working in the garden, etc. I also started meditating again. But I continue to appreciate more fully the role that job stress has played in this very difficult chapter of my life. I actually think my original sertraline taper might have worked out pretty well if it weren’t for environmental stressors, including job stress, my brother’s illness, and the difficulties of trying to start a family.

 

Thanks again.

 

Marco

Edited by marconyc

Share this post


Link to post
marconyc

@manymoretodays @Gridley Hope you’re both doing well. I’ve been at 0.18mg of aripiprazole for 18 days. I’m not doing very well right now. I’ve had really bad insomnia  for a couple of weeks and I’m feeling anxious and depressed. I’m considering updosing a bit because the lack of sleep and anxiety/depression is making it hard to function at work. I can’t work when I’m only getting 3-5 hours of sleep each night. Can you give me some advice? 

Share this post


Link to post
manymoretodays

Hi marconyc,

18 days into it.  Hmmm, we may be hitting a more critical spot now with your aripiprazole reductions.  Is this over and above what you've felt with the previous tapers, at this time out from them?

I think, if I were you, I'd hold on just a bit longer before updosing.  Some relief may be arriving soon and with an updose, I'm not sure that you would feel any relief very quickly.

You might want to consider less than a 10% taper, with your next drop too.  Maybe that will be the direction to take.

 

Oh marconyc,  hang in there.  And I'm so sorry that you are struggling to maintain with work and all.  Anything else situational going on now?  I mean, not that you can control for all situations.........oh, but wouldn't that be nice.

 

L, P, H, and G,

mmt

Share this post


Link to post
marconyc
17 minutes ago, manymoretodays said:

Hi marconyc,

18 days into it.  Hmmm, we may be hitting a more critical spot now with your aripiprazole reductions.  Is this over and above what you've felt with the previous tapers, at this time out from them?

I think, if I were you, I'd hold on just a bit longer before updosing.  Some relief may be arriving soon and with an updose, I'm not sure that you would feel any relief very quickly.

You might want to consider less than a 10% taper, with your next drop too.  Maybe that will be the direction to take.

 

Oh marconyc,  hang in there.  And I'm so sorry that you are struggling to maintain with work and all.  Anything else situational going on now?  I mean, not that you can control for all situations.........oh, but wouldn't that be nice.

 

L, P, H, and G,

mmt

Thanks @manymoretodays There is plenty going on situationally, and I’m trying to manage those stressors with my coping skills, exercise, and talk therapy. But I’m having a really tough time both sleeping and eating. 

Share this post


Link to post
marconyc

I’ve decided to updose. I can’t function. I’m sorry. I feel like I’m letting myself and everyone down, but I need to be able to eat, sleep, and work. 

Share this post


Link to post
Gridley
3 minutes ago, marconyc said:

I’ve decided to updose. I can’t function. I’m sorry.

No need to apologize.

Share this post


Link to post
marconyc

I’m also completely freaking out about the risk of tardive dyskinesia with Abilify. I can’t seem to get a straight answer from my psychiatrist. I wish someone could give me some stastistics. I hate being on this drug and I’m trying so hard to get off of it but it’s taking a long time.

Share this post


Link to post
RichT
8 hours ago, marconyc said:

I’ve decided to updose. I can’t function. I’m sorry. I feel like I’m letting myself and everyone down, but I need to be able to eat, sleep, and work. 

 

‘That sounds like a wise move to me. I hope it works out for you!

 

 

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
RichT
1 hour ago, marconyc said:

I’m also completely freaking out about the risk of tardive dyskinesia with Abilify. I can’t seem to get a straight answer from my psychiatrist. I wish someone could give me some stastistics. I hate being on this drug and I’m trying so hard to get off of it but it’s taking a long time.

 

I started to get tremors when I was on 5mg / day of Abilify - that’s the reason I came off it. I reinstated 0.5mg / day and I’ve not had them since. It’s possible your dose is so low now that it isn’t a significant risk, but I don’t think anyone knows for certain.

 

R

Share this post


Link to post
marconyc
17 minutes ago, RichT said:

 

I started to get tremors when I was on 5mg / day of Abilify - that’s the reason I came off it. I reinstated 0.5mg / day and I’ve not had them since. It’s possible your dose is so low now that it isn’t a significant risk, but I don’t think anyone knows for certain.

 

R

Thanks @RichT

Share this post


Link to post
wantrelief
4 hours ago, marconyc said:

I’m also completely freaking out about the risk of tardive dyskinesia with Abilify. I can’t seem to get a straight answer from my psychiatrist. I wish someone could give me some stastistics. I hate being on this drug and I’m trying so hard to get off of it but it’s taking a long time.

It is extremely frustrating how long it takes to get off of these drugs but you have done so well to get to where you are.  I would think you are on such a low dose of Ability that the risk of tardive dyskinesia would be very low.  You are doing great, Marco.....I am rooting for you!

Share this post


Link to post
marconyc
11 hours ago, wantrelief said:

It is extremely frustrating how long it takes to get off of these drugs but you have done so well to get to where you are.  I would think you are on such a low dose of Ability that the risk of tardive dyskinesia would be very low.  You are doing great, Marco.....I am rooting for you!

Thanks @wantrelief your support and support of others on SA means a lot to me. I've decided to try holding at my current dose of Abilify for another couple of days. I think my symptoms are more due to pushing myself too hard. My wife is pregnant and I've been doing everything around the house: cooking, cleaning, taking care of the dogs, paying the bills--basically all of the chores in addition to my full-time job, which is demanding. Plus my wife has been ambivalent about having a baby from day one and is still freaked out, but she has no one to talk to but me. I think the pressure of all of this stuff just built up. I'm so exhausted that all I want to do is sleep, which also makes sense because I had terrible insomnia for the past few weeks where I was sleeping 3-5 hours a night. I'm depleted and my nervous system is frazzled. My point is maybe if I rest and recover, I won't need to increase the Abilify dose. We'll see.

Share this post


Link to post
wantrelief
3 hours ago, marconyc said:

I'm depleted and my nervous system is frazzled. My point is maybe if I rest and recover, I won't need to increase the Abilify dose.

It makes sense with everything you are doing and going through that your nervous system would be frazzled.  I am hopeful that with some rest, you will feel better. 

Share this post


Link to post
manymoretodays

Oh marconyc,

You did not let anyone down.  And okay......you are going to do some R and R, I see.  Good for you.

Sending all my fairy godmother vibes your way.  As well as to your wife.  I mean don't repeat this, but I had a friend who during her pregnancy, was a completely different woman from her usual.  This, with only one of her pregnancies.  She had 3.  She.....and her daughter......and now fine.  As well as her hubs.

 

Love, peace, healing, and growth,

mmt

Share this post


Link to post
marconyc
3 minutes ago, manymoretodays said:

Oh marconyc,

You did not let anyone down.  And okay......you are going to do some R and R, I see.  Good for you.

Sending all my fairy godmother vibes your way.  As well as to your wife.  I mean don't repeat this, but I had a friend who during her pregnancy, was a completely different woman from her usual.  This, with only one of her pregnancies.  She had 3.  She.....and her daughter......and now fine.  As well as her hubs.

 

Love, peace, healing, and growth,

mmt

Thanks @manymoretodays to be honest my wife is really hormonal and I’m trying to stay calm but she is freaking out on me and it’s getting me very upset. Sometimes when she gets really angry or stressed I can feel my heart racing and I get nauseous.i feel bad saying this because she is the pregnant one but she does not like being pregnant and has nobody to talk to but me.

Share this post


Link to post
manymoretodays
Posted (edited)

How far along now?  The pregnancy?

And anybody, family or other, you could call on and in now.....  You could use the ruse that they are helping you with some of the housework and all.......and then maybe they would be someone for her to talk to.

 

On line pregnant women groups??? 

Or hey, have you started the birthing class stuff......maybe she would meet someone there to talk to.

 

Just keep doing your best to be her calming person too, marco.  And then we can be your calming people.  You got your buddies too, right?

You Love this woman.

Be a tree for her. 

 

signed:  calm oak  B)

 

Edited by manymoretodays

Share this post


Link to post
marconyc
35 minutes ago, manymoretodays said:

How far along now?  The pregnancy?

And anybody, family or other, you could call on and in now.....  You could use the ruse that they are helping you with some of the housework and all.......and then maybe they would be someone for her to talk to.

 

On line pregnant women groups??? 

Or hey, have you started the birthing class stuff......maybe she would meet someone there to talk to.

 

Just keep doing your best to be her calming person too, marco.  And then we can be your calming people.  You got your buddies too, right?

You Love this woman.

Be a tree for her. 

 

signed:  calm oak  B)

 

@manymoretodays 20 weeks. Baby is healthy so far thank God. We had a scare at one point because a biomarker showed an increased risk of a chromosomal abnormality, but after multiple follow-ups, it was determined that everything is okay. The other day we had the fetal echocardiogram and anatomical ultrasound to make sure all the limbs and organs are okay, and I think I was really worried that something would be wrong. As I said, our little girl is developing normally. Got to see her little fingers and toes.

My wife has a few friends she could lean on, and I’m encouraging her to do that. She also started talking to a therapist. I’m trying my best to be her tree. I really am. I love her more than anything in the world, and I don’t like when we fight or when I feel resentments. Her family has been no help and have actually been toxic, which makes me angry.

Share this post


Link to post
marconyc

@manymoretodays I'm holding at 0.18mgai of aripiprazole and feeling close to WD normal. I think it's the 26th day at that dose. I think I'm going to hold a bit longer, for two reasons: first, I'm not quite WD normal; and second, I'm still having pretty significant insomnia. I think most of my symptoms right now are situational, but either way, it might be best to hold another week and then see how I feel. Do you agree?

 

Also, re the insomnia: do you think taking the aripiprazole in the evening instead of in the morning might help me fall asleep more easily? Normally I take it in the morning along with the sertraline. I'm wondering if the dose of aripiprazole is so low that by the time I'm ready to go to bed, I'm going into interdose withdrawal or something. 

Share this post


Link to post
RichT
4 hours ago, marconyc said:

@manymoretodays I'm holding at 0.18mgai of aripiprazole and feeling close to WD normal. I think it's the 26th day at that dose. I think I'm going to hold a bit longer, for two reasons: first, I'm not quite WD normal; and second, I'm still having pretty significant insomnia. I think most of my symptoms right now are situational, but either way, it might be best to hold another week and then see how I feel. Do you agree?

 

Also, re the insomnia: do you think taking the aripiprazole in the evening instead of in the morning might help me fall asleep more easily? Normally I take it in the morning along with the sertraline. I'm wondering if the dose of aripiprazole is so low that by the time I'm ready to go to bed, I'm going into interdose withdrawal or something. 

 

Hi Marconyc,

 

Aripiprazole has a long half like so I doubt you’re getting inter-dose withdrawal by evening if you take it in the morning.

 

 I hope things get easier for you soon! 

 

Warmest wishes,

 

Rich

Share this post


Link to post
marconyc
53 minutes ago, RichT said:

 

Hi Marconyc,

 

Aripiprazole has a long half like so I doubt you’re getting inter-dose withdrawal by evening if you take it in the morning.

 

 I hope things get easier for you soon! 

 

Warmest wishes,

 

Rich

Oh, that’s right. Thanks @RichT

 

 

Share this post


Link to post

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

Terms of Use Privacy Policy