☼ Leo1983: SSRI withdrawal

[Leo1983]

Hi Alto.

 

Can you get wd issues from magnesium? Doea the body become used too it?

 

Thanks

[ChessieCat]

Check out this new member:  espyb-withdrawal

 

[Leo1983]

Mmmm. Thanks for that. 

 

I think i will give that a miss. To be honest im used to spending my days with my monkey ( anxiety )now

 

I will get all i need from my diet hopefully.

 

[Leo1983]

My personal opinion is... Withdrawal will leave when its ready to leave. 

 

 

[Leo1983]

This is for anyone new.. hope this helps as i know personally how much we need encouragement.

 

I was on multiple drugs for short periods of 6- 8 weeks. Then my last drug i stayed on for a few months to let it work... yeh yeh let it get its claws in more like it!!! Then i was hooked!! Great news your now a long term customer.  

 

I am now 9 months free of the poison. I have never had 1 full day of feeling my old self prior to drugs. However things have improved.... 

 

Month 1 - Anxiety, nausea, depersonalisation, low mood, lost, angry, PSSD. Dizzy, unbalanced. Full brain. Fatigue. Insomnia.

 

Month 2-3 - Pretty much the same. 

 

Month 4 - All hell let loose. Anxiety on crack, deep dark depression, suicidal thoughts on waking, pacing, anger, paranoia, unable to see friends family. Insomnia. Fatigue. Bad bad memory. Agoraphobia unless i pushed myself out.

 

Month 5 - 7 - pretty much the same as above. Almost gave up daily. Wanted to go back to drs. 

 

Month 7 - 8 - Anxiety daily, low mood, social anxiety, head pressure, worry will i get better, will i loose my job, will my wife leave. Im useless. Fatigue. 

 

Month 9 - Anxiety on waking however not as bad as early days. Still have to say get up and it will be ok. Low mood sometimes feels deep but comes back up. Head fullness pressure is an awful symptom. Sore legs. Anhedonia lack of emotion. 

 

I know month 9 sounds bleak however the first 6 month i could not remember a thing! I was dumb and avoiding. I wanted 24/7 support to be told al be ok. I did not sleep. I had no emotions or joy for ANYTHING. I was in panic from waking to going back to bed.

 

Now i can remember things not everything. But im better! My anxiety is free flowing most of the day but not crippling. My mood remains low but i think thats emotional numbness. I sleep 8 hours per night. I am able to do most things however there still a challenge. Im not suicidal im just pleased to be alive as it was hell. I feel present most of the time and i can share in my family life again. My PSSD i never mentioned much on here but that has came back, i have full feeling, ability to orgasm you get the picture. 

 

My point is i have been in Hell. I thought it was all over! I did not listen to anything i was been advised and the more i worried the worse it got. When in fact it has actually got better. Exactly like i was told - Slowly and frustrating. 

 

Im still not out the woods but i have evidence it gets better. I have been doing CBT and would advise anyone to do it in later wd. Not in acute as we are so unwell. For me CBT is about accepting were we are now and learning to break the worry and rumernation cycle of withdrawal. Then as time moves on we can address our original issues when the clouds lift..

 

Theres one way forward and time appears to be the biggest healer..

 

Im not healed at all i just see the improvement slowly and wanted to share that. 

 

 

[manny03]

6 hours ago, Leo1983 said:

My personal opinion is... Withdrawal will leave when its ready to leave. 

 

 

 

That's what I've come to also. 

[Leo1983]

Hi does anybody go to bed feeling ok then wake up in the morning and just feel like poop again? 

 

My main symptom at the moment is head pressure. It makes me feel like dumb, in my own world, like i cud sit and stare at a wall for hours. Its really getting me down. 

 

My brain feels like it has been frozen and its defrosting. Like a lump of lead. 

[manny03]

6 hours ago, Leo1983 said:

Hi does anybody go to bed feeling ok then wake up in the morning and just feel like poop again? 

 

My main symptom at the moment is head pressure. It makes me feel like dumb, in my own world, like i cud sit and stare at a wall for hours. Its really getting me down. 

 

My brain feels like it has been frozen and its defrosting. Like a lump of lead. 

 

That's me though with my lingering Gi symptoms. I have my symptoms through most of the morning to afternoon. They calm down for the rest of the day. Sleep ok, then wake up with my symptoms. 

 

Though, If I remember right, I used to have this exact symptom pattern when it was my three months of headache/head pressure hell. 

[Altostrata]

Just about everybody has worse symptoms in the morning, due to the natural surge in the cortisol cycle.

[Leo1983]

Thankyou. 

 

You say the "natural" surge.... is this worse in withdrawal? Just i used to enjoy waking up and going down for a cup of tea. Now i feel like i wake up and go on the ghost train. 

 

Thanks for your time. 

[ChessieCat]

waking-with-panic-or-anxiety-managing-cortisol-spikes

 

[Leo1983]

Does anyone know exactly what the head pressure is in withdrawal?

 

The pressure makes me feel like i have a neurological issue when it comes it makes my eyes want to shut and i bite my teeth together. It makes me feel detached from stuff around me. Its a rather strange feeling. 

 

Thanks to anyone who can relate.

[Leo1983]

Its abit like having an opiate hit. Sort of with head pressure. Its strange. 

[Altostrata]

We don't know what the head pressure is. It's a common withdrawal symptom.

[Leo1983]

I have been looking at reassurance seeking in wd.which i understand like all of us in wd. 

 

When will i be better? Will i get better? Can i just ask? Am i defo guna heal. 

 

Theres alot of evidence to suggest when we do this it makes us feel better for a small amount of time and then we appear to feel more depressed and back to needing reassured again. I notice i can have a telephone call and be told you will heal. Put down the phone and think i feel ok, im guna do this.... then 20 minutes later i need it again to male me feel better. Actually what we are doing is exhausting ourselves as its like pouring water through a net. 

 

Its helped me to accept this more.. obviously im not happy about it but talking about it all day is exhausting me more. 

[manny03]

35 minutes ago, Leo1983 said:

I have been looking at reassurance seeking in wd.which i understand like all of us in wd. 

 

When will i be better? Will i get better? Can i just ask? Am i defo guna heal. 

 

Theres alot of evidence to suggest when we do this it makes us feel better for a small amount of time and then we appear to feel more depressed and back to needing reassured again. I notice i can have a telephone call and be told you will heal. Put down the phone and think i feel ok, im guna do this.... then 20 minutes later i need it again to male me feel better. Actually what we are doing is exhausting ourselves as its like pouring water through a net. 

 

Its helped me to accept this more.. obviously im not happy about it but talking about it all day is exhausting me more. 

 

I know that feeling. 

 

Its exhausting describing every symptom just to get off hand comment that its just relapse from MDs. 

 

I know in my case, my mother is exhausted of every symptom I tell her. Since she quickly gets stressed out or gets depressed about it. I feel horrible about it. Though, its only way I'm able to vent out my frustration, sadness, and anger due to these symptoms. Though, lately I've been keeping to myself and just roll with the punches. 

 

[eymen23]

Very well observed Leo. That demonstrates a good level of self awareness. 

 

Sometimes we have to try and gently accept that we do not know the answers. 

[ChessieCat]

Copying this here from another member's topic:

 

9 minutes ago, apace41 said:

 

7 hours ago, Leo1983 said:

I see people tapering for 2 years and still crash at zero. I see people CT and heal. I see people CT and get back on. I see people stop and be fine. Who knows what is best. I just stick to seeing people heal eventually. 

 

Just to be clear, while these are all possibilities and when you are playing with brain chemistry there is no guarantee, the experience of the moderators and, in particular, Alto and others who have seen more A/D withdrawal than the vast majority of psychiatrists COMBINED, have concluded that the best outcomes are achieved with a slow and careful taper of something approximating no more than 10% of the prior dose per month.  I would not want this comment misconstrued as a "it doesn't matter how you go about it" comment which I suspect is not what was intended.

 

Best,

 

Andy 

 

[Sadboy]

Hi leo. I will be microdosing Ibogaine for the anhedonia. I am now 11 months off and am experiecing the flat emotions with anhedonia. Iboga is known to reset receptors, including dopamine and serotenine. I know how people on this site think about this, but there are a lot of positive stories about this working. I will report back if it worked, it will take probably a month before i can get my hands on some

[ChessieCat]

11 minutes ago, Sadboy said:

I will be microdosing Ibogaine for the anhedonia

 

Treating anhedonia with Ibogaine doesn't seem logical.  Just my personal opinion.

 

These from wiki:

 

Ibogaine is a naturally occurring psychoactive substance found in plants in the Apocynaceae family such as Tabernanthe iboga, Voacanga africana and Tabernaemontana undulata. It is a psychedelic with dissociative properties.

 

and

 

In psychology, dissociation is any of a wide array of experiences from mild detachment from immediate surroundings to more severe detachment from physical and emotional experiences. The major characteristic of all dissociative phenomena involves a detachment from reality, rather than a loss of reality as in psychosis.

[Leo1983]

@Sadboy take a look on google.

 

Type in " Porn addict treated with ibogaine at Harley street clinic". The Dr is called Dr

 

Then there are many more stories following that. Good luck but i need no more risks. 

 

Cheers

 

Leo

[Leo1983]

@Sadboy hows your other symptoms? Like morning anxiety, panic, head pressure etc etc. 

 

Is it just the Anhedonia thats an issue? 

[ChessieCat]

Hi Leo,

 

It is better to ask a member specific questions about their own situation in their own Introduction topic.  Doing this keeps your Intro topic for your own situation and will keep Sadboy's history in his.  It also means that other members can see the questions asked of a member and the responses the member makes.

[Leo1983]

Hi..

 

No problem. 

 

Hope your well.

[Sadboy]

Hey. I did a lot of researsch. I am not going to do a flood dose, but microdose. u wont even trip when microdosing so dont worry about all that horror stuff. I am in contact with a guy who got anhedonia after ssri use, he cured himself too with iboga. My idea is the ssri use further disregulated my dopamine. I have an adhd problem, adhd is linked with low dopamine. Ssri can ruin your dopamine too, and i think this happened to me. I dont experience withdrawal symptoms except for anhedonia and no libido and the social anxiety that comes with anhedonia (dont know how to act anymore because of empty feeling). I got out of this state by raising my free testosterone with a supplement called boron and with fasting. Both raising free testosterone and fasting increase your dopamine, and i finally felt normal again. This has nothing to do with windows and waves cause i dont have them anymore. Its just constant anhedonia and i escape that by raising my dopamine. Ibogaine repairs your receptors, this is proven. It raises something called  gdnf which repairs your brain. This is why heroine junkies use this to come off heroin and can stop using it, because their brain is repaired and they dont need it anymore. It really is awesome stuff. I think maybe within years my dopamine will also heal with time ,but also maybe not. When you look at the pssd groups, who have my symptoms , low libido and anhedonia, those people just almost never heal. 7 years out etc. This is why i am willing to take this step, i am done waiting for some vague promise of healing. I am 22 and want to go on with my life.

[Leo1983]

Good luck. 

 

I hope you come back with a miracle.

 

Leo

[Leo1983]

I dont have PSSD or ADHD. Anhedonia is very common in wd and many have healed. 

 

If its good for you great and good luck mate. 

[Sadboy]

Thanks mate. How is your libido? i don't have full blown pssd. I just have no to a very low libido which comes with feeling anhedonic.

[Leo1983]

Libido is ok. But i have wd so im not exactly feeling like Ron Jeremy at the minute. 

 

I think this is mainly due to the emotional numbness/ Anhedonia.

[Leo1983]

The reason we try to avoid them is because if this happens too often you can end up destabilising your nervous system.  Once you become destablised it can take a long time to get stable.  In some instances members have not been able to regain stability.

 

Does this mean people who taper and destabalise sometimes never stabalise on there drug again?

 

Im thinking i CT my drug and im thinking i will never stabalise again.

[shawny]

@Leo1983 : i got my ears checked they are fine , nothing to worry .

 

About ur tinnitus , at which point in time( how many months) did urs fade away ? u dont hear it anymore ?

like even when u sleep ?

 

 

[Leo1983]

First 6 month was terrible.

 

Then you just dont focus on it. Its fades into the background. The more you listen for it the worse it is. 

 

Put a meditation in your earphones at night. 

 

It does get better.

[Leo1983]

Its the meds that do it.

[Leo1983]

I still hear it but it does not make me crazy. It has faded. 

[shawny]

Ok tanx Leo  

 

it will hopefully disappear one day since u mentioned it’s gettin better 

[apace41]

Leo and Shawny,

 

Perhaps you can do this by PM or on one of your threads?  It’s not fair to hijack Junglechicken’s thread for a private discussion about a symptom.

 

Best,

 

Andy