Leo1983 Posted March 17, 2019 Author Share Posted March 17, 2019 Did you beat benzo wd and heal? After 16 years use? May 2016 - Aug 2016 - Prozac 20mg March 2017 - June 2017 - Sertraline 100mg. Horrific withdrawal 5 m onths. July 2017 - Aug 2017 - Mirtazapine 15mg. Horrific. August 2017 - December 2017 Fluoxetine 10mg for 2 weeks ghen Escitalopram 20mg for 12 weeks. Never felt normal since this. Or baseline. March 2018 - June 2018 - Escitalopram 5mg for 12 weeks. Stopped and here i am full of symptoms i never had. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus eymen23 Posted March 17, 2019 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted March 17, 2019 2 hours ago, Leo1983 said: I can tell you from the heart Lexapro is one son of a b**** to get off. It is potent as hell. But you will do it too. Yes, especially if you cold turkey from a very high dose. Tapering slowly isn’t necessarily a way of totally avoiding withdrawal symptoms, but it can certainly make life more manageable. I know it is too late to change the past, but I don’t want anybody to be scared if they are currently taking Lexapro/Escitalopram and wishing to taper. I have tapered from 5mg to just over 4mg so far without any intolerable symptoms. PLEASE NOTE: I am not a medical professional. I can only provide information and make suggestions. Link to comment
RandyJames Posted March 17, 2019 Share Posted March 17, 2019 2 hours ago, Leo1983 said: Did you beat benzo wd and heal? After 16 years use? Yeah. I'm sure I did. I'll try and explain my best and try and keep it short. 15 years into the benzos I found a doctor who helped me taper very slowly over a year, maybe a bit longer. Around a year before my taper I went on Cymbalta, I think 60mg, for back pain of all things. So I was on the Cymbalta for about 2 years. Along the course of the Benzo taper I had started getting very specific symptoms like nerve buzzing, nerve pain in random places especially my scalp and other weird stuff. These things increased when I reached 0 benzos. At that point I quit the Cymbalta CT without asking my doctor as I had read that any meds like these could really make the Benzo withdrawal worse. I totally underestimated what CT of an SSRI could do. At first I thought all the symptoms that began were from reaching 0 benzos but it was a combo of WD from both drugs at once. I was wrecked for 2 years though did have a bit of improvement that seemed to plateau around 1.5 years in. I reached a point were I was so fed up I ended up going on Lexapro. Within a couple of months I felt remarkably better. The Lexapro would not have stopped any of the benzo issues. I was on Benzobuddies the whole time and it was clear that nothing stops benzo withdrawal except for benzos; and even then a lot of time it's to late and the only way forward is off of them. I am totally sure that all the symptoms I was having after 2 years were from the Cymbalta and I never have taken another benzo. That was in 2010, I believe, and the only time I have felt any WD symptoms since then was when I came off my SSRI's again in 2017 and over the past coupe of months now that I am way tolerant to them. I can not stress enough that I wish I would have just rode out my first WD from the Cymbalta and benzos and never touched the Lexapro. I truly believe I would have made it through by now. I did get some time of comfort but now I'm messed up to the point that I'm having tolerance WD and just can't take these pills anymore. 1994-2009 benzos from age 20 to 36. Added Cymbalta 60mg in 2007. 2008-2009 tapered benzos to zero and quit Cymbalta Cold turkey. WD HELL for two years 2011 started on Lexapro to combat the withdrawal and it worked. 2015 switched to Prozac as Lexapro was not working as well 2017 quit Prozac cold turkey November and crashed into WD. Reinstated Prozac In December with no benefit. 2018 Switched back to Lexapro in January and it took most of the issues away in around 2-3 weeks 2019 In February Lexapro has pooped out and WD feelings back. Tolerance WD I'm sure. March 12th Upped my dose to 30 mgs per doctor's advice to see if Tolerance WD goes away but have had worsening sleep issues with limbs jerking and less sleep. March 17th dropped back down to 20 mgs and had less limb jerking last night but sleep no better. April 20th cut to 18mg. Link to comment
RandyJames Posted March 17, 2019 Share Posted March 17, 2019 3 hours ago, Leo1983 said: Good man. I like you already. Good luck man!! Keep as positive as that and you will surf it no problem. I can tell you from the heart Lexapro is one son of a b**** to get off. It is potent as hell. But you will do it too. Good luck. Best of luck to you to! We will both be writing success stories eventually. 1994-2009 benzos from age 20 to 36. Added Cymbalta 60mg in 2007. 2008-2009 tapered benzos to zero and quit Cymbalta Cold turkey. WD HELL for two years 2011 started on Lexapro to combat the withdrawal and it worked. 2015 switched to Prozac as Lexapro was not working as well 2017 quit Prozac cold turkey November and crashed into WD. Reinstated Prozac In December with no benefit. 2018 Switched back to Lexapro in January and it took most of the issues away in around 2-3 weeks 2019 In February Lexapro has pooped out and WD feelings back. Tolerance WD I'm sure. March 12th Upped my dose to 30 mgs per doctor's advice to see if Tolerance WD goes away but have had worsening sleep issues with limbs jerking and less sleep. March 17th dropped back down to 20 mgs and had less limb jerking last night but sleep no better. April 20th cut to 18mg. Link to comment
Leo1983 Posted March 17, 2019 Author Share Posted March 17, 2019 Thankyou Eyman. May 2016 - Aug 2016 - Prozac 20mg March 2017 - June 2017 - Sertraline 100mg. Horrific withdrawal 5 m onths. July 2017 - Aug 2017 - Mirtazapine 15mg. Horrific. August 2017 - December 2017 Fluoxetine 10mg for 2 weeks ghen Escitalopram 20mg for 12 weeks. Never felt normal since this. Or baseline. March 2018 - June 2018 - Escitalopram 5mg for 12 weeks. Stopped and here i am full of symptoms i never had. Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted March 18, 2019 Administrator Share Posted March 18, 2019 On 3/13/2019 at 11:33 AM, Leo1983 said: .... My luck would be ibogaine would send me into an ultra trip and mess me up more. .... This is exactly why we're skeptical of gray market drugs or other drugs. We don't know what will happen. Being an Internet site, we're not in a position to prescribe anything to rescue people in a drug disaster. That is the reason we're so cautious. We know the nervous system tends to repair itself, we don't know how to reliably hurry this process along. We also see that what may work for one person doesn't work or hurts another person. We leave those choices up to the individual. Sadboy, Leo has not welcomed your suggestions. We know you would like to help him, but perhaps you could stop encouraging him to try this drug. This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
RusTW Posted March 20, 2019 Share Posted March 20, 2019 Leo what are your window and waves pattern like.how long are they.how intense? can u tell when a window is coming? March-2017-Dec-2017 ativanCT /reinstated ativan 1mg tapered 2 months/June 2017-April 2018 zyprexa 10mg switched to seroquel 200-300mg in april 2018/dec-2017-present zoloft 100mg/ quit seroquel 200-300mg cold turkey May 6 2018 reinstated seroquel 100mg around May 25 2018 since then tapered to 50mg zoloft and 50 mg of seroquel presently other medications Testosterone cypionate 2oomg every 4 days UPDATE -August 20 2018--october 20 2018 tapered off Testosterone/Nov 7 2018 --Dec 20 2018 Lamictal micro dose 2.50mg 1 1/2 weeks then reduced to 1.25 then fast tapered as it became paridoxial.nausea- racing thoughts- agitation and insomnia. August 28 2018 to Present Cannabis indica micro dose PM bedtime only. Presently Seroquel 37.5 mg bedtime /Zoloft 47mg morning May 2018-Present Multivitamin/ Bcomplex/Vit C 1000MG/B12 1000MCG/Fish oils 2grams/ Jan 2019-Trace mineral liquid low dose Update dec 2019 -29mg of zoloft tapering/Seroquel 37.5 holding/1 or 2 ativan 1mg a month as needed if that. Black seed oil-caprylic acid-/b complex/b12/multi/D/E/melatonin Link to comment
puthappinessfirst Posted March 20, 2019 Share Posted March 20, 2019 On 3/13/2019 at 11:33 AM, Leo1983 said: My luck would be ibogaine would send me into an ultra trip and mess me up more. MAPS, one of the leaders in psychedelic research, recently put out a piece that people prone to manic episodes/psychosis should be VERY careful (or not go there at all) in regards to medicating with psychedelic drugs. In the midst of WD, at our worst, we are not stable enough for more drug interventions and the chaos that comes with psychedelic drugs. I'm gonna trust MAPS on this one Celexa 10mg: 2007 to June 2018, stopped CT No meds: June 2018 to December 2018 PROTRACTED WD-- major depressive episode for 2+ weeks Lexapro 10mg: December 12, 2018 to January 19, 2019, severe adverse reaction Celexa 10mg: January 20, 2019 June 24, 2019: 9mg July 22, 2019: 8.5mg Jan 8, 2020: 8mg Aug 25, 2020: 7.2mg Supplements: Magnesium, Fish Oil Link to comment
Leo1983 Posted March 20, 2019 Author Share Posted March 20, 2019 Hi Putha. No i would not touch this if i was paid. I have never seen ibogaine or to be quite frank Antidepressants on my list of 5 a days. To be honest i dont think i will ever take another pill again. Especially related to the brain. Thanks again Lee May 2016 - Aug 2016 - Prozac 20mg March 2017 - June 2017 - Sertraline 100mg. Horrific withdrawal 5 m onths. July 2017 - Aug 2017 - Mirtazapine 15mg. Horrific. August 2017 - December 2017 Fluoxetine 10mg for 2 weeks ghen Escitalopram 20mg for 12 weeks. Never felt normal since this. Or baseline. March 2018 - June 2018 - Escitalopram 5mg for 12 weeks. Stopped and here i am full of symptoms i never had. Link to comment
Leo1983 Posted March 20, 2019 Author Share Posted March 20, 2019 Rus They are pretty much constant waves however i can manage them more often now. Its still difficult with anxiety and Anhedonia. Im a stubborn boot tho and i make myself do stuff. My windows are just were i can laugh and joke and be sociable ish. Mainly from late afternoon. Mornings are still bad but not as bad as they were. In early wd i wud wake with si thoughts it was horrific. May 2016 - Aug 2016 - Prozac 20mg March 2017 - June 2017 - Sertraline 100mg. Horrific withdrawal 5 m onths. July 2017 - Aug 2017 - Mirtazapine 15mg. Horrific. August 2017 - December 2017 Fluoxetine 10mg for 2 weeks ghen Escitalopram 20mg for 12 weeks. Never felt normal since this. Or baseline. March 2018 - June 2018 - Escitalopram 5mg for 12 weeks. Stopped and here i am full of symptoms i never had. Link to comment
puthappinessfirst Posted March 20, 2019 Share Posted March 20, 2019 Haahah, you know, I haven't seen ibogaine in my multi either! I didn't think you were being persuaded to try it, just wanted to put that info out there from a credible source. I feel the same as you. Celexa 10mg: 2007 to June 2018, stopped CT No meds: June 2018 to December 2018 PROTRACTED WD-- major depressive episode for 2+ weeks Lexapro 10mg: December 12, 2018 to January 19, 2019, severe adverse reaction Celexa 10mg: January 20, 2019 June 24, 2019: 9mg July 22, 2019: 8.5mg Jan 8, 2020: 8mg Aug 25, 2020: 7.2mg Supplements: Magnesium, Fish Oil Link to comment
Leo1983 Posted March 20, 2019 Author Share Posted March 20, 2019 Lol. Oh crap i forgot my ibogaine before work. Hahah. Morning work friends, you all see the pink elephants outside or the flying cars. Lol. Whats that guy taking????? Ibogaine!!! Lol May 2016 - Aug 2016 - Prozac 20mg March 2017 - June 2017 - Sertraline 100mg. Horrific withdrawal 5 m onths. July 2017 - Aug 2017 - Mirtazapine 15mg. Horrific. August 2017 - December 2017 Fluoxetine 10mg for 2 weeks ghen Escitalopram 20mg for 12 weeks. Never felt normal since this. Or baseline. March 2018 - June 2018 - Escitalopram 5mg for 12 weeks. Stopped and here i am full of symptoms i never had. Link to comment
Leo1983 Posted March 20, 2019 Author Share Posted March 20, 2019 No more pills past this mouth. Unless im dying then maybe. May 2016 - Aug 2016 - Prozac 20mg March 2017 - June 2017 - Sertraline 100mg. Horrific withdrawal 5 m onths. July 2017 - Aug 2017 - Mirtazapine 15mg. Horrific. August 2017 - December 2017 Fluoxetine 10mg for 2 weeks ghen Escitalopram 20mg for 12 weeks. Never felt normal since this. Or baseline. March 2018 - June 2018 - Escitalopram 5mg for 12 weeks. Stopped and here i am full of symptoms i never had. Link to comment
RusTW Posted March 20, 2019 Share Posted March 20, 2019 6 minutes ago, Leo1983 said: Rus They are pretty much constant waves however i can manage them more often now. Its still difficult with anxiety and Anhedonia. Im a stubborn boot tho and i make myself do stuff. My windows are just were i can laugh and joke and be sociable ish. Mainly from late afternoon. Mornings are still bad but not as bad as they were. In early wd i wud wake with si thoughts it was horrific. Good job Leo- it seems we went into wd at the same time last summer.we've put some time in.I got days of decent windows in jan feb. Now only hours the last few weeks.i get the si sometimes too it really sucks.sometimes the waves go back and forth all day. March-2017-Dec-2017 ativanCT /reinstated ativan 1mg tapered 2 months/June 2017-April 2018 zyprexa 10mg switched to seroquel 200-300mg in april 2018/dec-2017-present zoloft 100mg/ quit seroquel 200-300mg cold turkey May 6 2018 reinstated seroquel 100mg around May 25 2018 since then tapered to 50mg zoloft and 50 mg of seroquel presently other medications Testosterone cypionate 2oomg every 4 days UPDATE -August 20 2018--october 20 2018 tapered off Testosterone/Nov 7 2018 --Dec 20 2018 Lamictal micro dose 2.50mg 1 1/2 weeks then reduced to 1.25 then fast tapered as it became paridoxial.nausea- racing thoughts- agitation and insomnia. August 28 2018 to Present Cannabis indica micro dose PM bedtime only. Presently Seroquel 37.5 mg bedtime /Zoloft 47mg morning May 2018-Present Multivitamin/ Bcomplex/Vit C 1000MG/B12 1000MCG/Fish oils 2grams/ Jan 2019-Trace mineral liquid low dose Update dec 2019 -29mg of zoloft tapering/Seroquel 37.5 holding/1 or 2 ativan 1mg a month as needed if that. Black seed oil-caprylic acid-/b complex/b12/multi/D/E/melatonin Link to comment
RusTW Posted March 20, 2019 Share Posted March 20, 2019 3 minutes ago, Leo1983 said: Lol. Oh crap i forgot my ibogaine before work. Hahah. Morning work friends, you all see the pink elephants outside or the flying cars. Lol. Whats that guy taking????? Ibogaine!!! Lol lol March-2017-Dec-2017 ativanCT /reinstated ativan 1mg tapered 2 months/June 2017-April 2018 zyprexa 10mg switched to seroquel 200-300mg in april 2018/dec-2017-present zoloft 100mg/ quit seroquel 200-300mg cold turkey May 6 2018 reinstated seroquel 100mg around May 25 2018 since then tapered to 50mg zoloft and 50 mg of seroquel presently other medications Testosterone cypionate 2oomg every 4 days UPDATE -August 20 2018--october 20 2018 tapered off Testosterone/Nov 7 2018 --Dec 20 2018 Lamictal micro dose 2.50mg 1 1/2 weeks then reduced to 1.25 then fast tapered as it became paridoxial.nausea- racing thoughts- agitation and insomnia. August 28 2018 to Present Cannabis indica micro dose PM bedtime only. Presently Seroquel 37.5 mg bedtime /Zoloft 47mg morning May 2018-Present Multivitamin/ Bcomplex/Vit C 1000MG/B12 1000MCG/Fish oils 2grams/ Jan 2019-Trace mineral liquid low dose Update dec 2019 -29mg of zoloft tapering/Seroquel 37.5 holding/1 or 2 ativan 1mg a month as needed if that. Black seed oil-caprylic acid-/b complex/b12/multi/D/E/melatonin Link to comment
puthappinessfirst Posted March 20, 2019 Share Posted March 20, 2019 5 minutes ago, Leo1983 said: Lol. Oh crap i forgot my ibogaine before work. Hahah. Morning work friends, you all see the pink elephants outside or the flying cars. Lol. Whats that guy taking????? Ibogaine!!! Lol That made me chuckle, and I am having a crappy day, so thanks! Maybe if I would have tried psychedelics instead of SSRIs, I would be in a healthier place mentally. Or been locked up in a psych ward. The world will never know. That's how life is 🤷♀️ Celexa 10mg: 2007 to June 2018, stopped CT No meds: June 2018 to December 2018 PROTRACTED WD-- major depressive episode for 2+ weeks Lexapro 10mg: December 12, 2018 to January 19, 2019, severe adverse reaction Celexa 10mg: January 20, 2019 June 24, 2019: 9mg July 22, 2019: 8.5mg Jan 8, 2020: 8mg Aug 25, 2020: 7.2mg Supplements: Magnesium, Fish Oil Link to comment
manny03 Posted March 20, 2019 Share Posted March 20, 2019 1 minute ago, puthappinessfirst said: That made me chuckle, and I am having a crappy day, so thanks! Maybe if I would have tried psychedelics instead of SSRIs, I would be in a healthier place mentally. Or been locked up in a psych ward. The world will never know. That's how life is 🤷♀️ Life can be a box of surprises. Trintellix (Brintellix) 5mg - December 2015 to Mid July 2018 Vitamin C 500mgs daily January 2019 - March 30 2019 Boost my immune system through my withdrawal - Stopped Up and Up 3 Billion Probiotics - Daily for IBS. - Stopped Up and Up 30 Billion Probiotics - Daily for IBS. - Stopped June 16-26 2018: C/T to take Antiviral medication for Shingles outbreak (Due to excessive stress - SSRI Poop Out). June 27 2018: Reinstated (5mg) July 14 2018 last dose due to acute withdrawal symptoms. Link to comment
Leo1983 Posted March 20, 2019 Author Share Posted March 20, 2019 Pleased it helped. Just take what god intended you to take! Use that powerful mind to achieve and push you out of this crap. May 2016 - Aug 2016 - Prozac 20mg March 2017 - June 2017 - Sertraline 100mg. Horrific withdrawal 5 m onths. July 2017 - Aug 2017 - Mirtazapine 15mg. Horrific. August 2017 - December 2017 Fluoxetine 10mg for 2 weeks ghen Escitalopram 20mg for 12 weeks. Never felt normal since this. Or baseline. March 2018 - June 2018 - Escitalopram 5mg for 12 weeks. Stopped and here i am full of symptoms i never had. Link to comment
puthappinessfirst Posted March 20, 2019 Share Posted March 20, 2019 4 minutes ago, Leo1983 said: Use that powerful mind to achieve and push you out of this crap. Thanks, buddy! You too! ❤️ Celexa 10mg: 2007 to June 2018, stopped CT No meds: June 2018 to December 2018 PROTRACTED WD-- major depressive episode for 2+ weeks Lexapro 10mg: December 12, 2018 to January 19, 2019, severe adverse reaction Celexa 10mg: January 20, 2019 June 24, 2019: 9mg July 22, 2019: 8.5mg Jan 8, 2020: 8mg Aug 25, 2020: 7.2mg Supplements: Magnesium, Fish Oil Link to comment
India Posted March 20, 2019 Share Posted March 20, 2019 1 hour ago, Leo1983 said: Hi Putha. No i would not touch this if i was paid. I have never seen ibogaine or to be quite frank Antidepressants on my list of 5 a days. To be honest i dont think i will ever take another pill again. Especially related to the brain. Thanks again Lee Hi Lee, I feel the same. I have friends who went to holistic rehab and did it and also a friend who did ayuasca. I hallucinated on weed so I wouldn't touch it. I always hated weed and only experimented. It is unbelievable what this little ssri has done to me. It's devastated my life. I have a new found sense of mortality isn't the word, but I have trouble retrieving words, I no longer feel invincible. Oh, it's such an obvious word but I can't access it. Just another effect. Once neutral places, I feel unease in doctor's surgeries and hospitals and chemists. I just want to stay well away. If I recover, I will aim to have as little medical intervention as possible. Anything related to the brain and such a fine biochemical balance. Like you, never again. Perhaps this will be our ultimate liberation. 1999: Paroxetine (20mg). Age 16. 2007-2008: Fluoxetine (Prozac) for 1.5 years (age 25) Citalopram 20mg 2002-2005, 2009: Escitalopram (20mg), 2 weeks, (age 26) (adverse reaction)/*Valium 5mg/Temazepam 10mg 2010: Mirtazipine (Remeron)( do not remember dosage) 2010, 5 months. 2010-2017: Citalopram (20mg) (age 27 to 34) 2016: i.1st Sept- 31st Oct Citalopram 10mg , ii.1st November 2017-30th November 2017, Citalopram 5mg iii.1st December 2017- 4th February 2018, Citalopram 0mg, iv.5th February 2018- March 2018 Citalopram 5mg (10mg every other day) 28th February- tried titration of 5mg ( some adverse effects) 2018: 1st March 2018- 1st June Citalopram 10 mg (tablet form) /started titration 8mg , then 7 mg.2018: June 15th- 10th July Citalopram 10 mg pill every other day 2018: 10th July - 13th Sept Citalopram- 0mg (CBD oil first month of 0mg, passiflora on and off) 2018 13th Sept Citalopram 2mg , approx 16th Sept 4mg , approx 25th Sept 6mg held. 2019: 11 Feb 19: 7mg (instant bad rxn) 12 Feb 19 6mg held 1 May 19 5.4mg held 5 Oct 19 5.36mg 22 Oct 19 5.29mg 30 Oct 19 5.23mg 4/NOV/19 5.18mg 12 Nov 19 5.08mg 20 Nov 19 4.77mg 7 May 22 2.31mg 17/09/2023 0.8mg (Herbal/Supplements since 1st September: Omega Fish Oil 1200mg, 663mg of EPA- 2 tablets a day, magnesium and magnesium bath salts) I did not die, and yet I lost life’s breath - Dante Link to comment
Leo1983 Posted March 21, 2019 Author Share Posted March 21, 2019 3rd attempt at fish oil. 5 days worth. Each time after 4 days i end up with symptoms big time. Anxiety mood confusion disturbed sleep. Not good May 2016 - Aug 2016 - Prozac 20mg March 2017 - June 2017 - Sertraline 100mg. Horrific withdrawal 5 m onths. July 2017 - Aug 2017 - Mirtazapine 15mg. Horrific. August 2017 - December 2017 Fluoxetine 10mg for 2 weeks ghen Escitalopram 20mg for 12 weeks. Never felt normal since this. Or baseline. March 2018 - June 2018 - Escitalopram 5mg for 12 weeks. Stopped and here i am full of symptoms i never had. Link to comment
RandyJames Posted March 25, 2019 Share Posted March 25, 2019 How are you feeling Leo? Hope all is well. 1994-2009 benzos from age 20 to 36. Added Cymbalta 60mg in 2007. 2008-2009 tapered benzos to zero and quit Cymbalta Cold turkey. WD HELL for two years 2011 started on Lexapro to combat the withdrawal and it worked. 2015 switched to Prozac as Lexapro was not working as well 2017 quit Prozac cold turkey November and crashed into WD. Reinstated Prozac In December with no benefit. 2018 Switched back to Lexapro in January and it took most of the issues away in around 2-3 weeks 2019 In February Lexapro has pooped out and WD feelings back. Tolerance WD I'm sure. March 12th Upped my dose to 30 mgs per doctor's advice to see if Tolerance WD goes away but have had worsening sleep issues with limbs jerking and less sleep. March 17th dropped back down to 20 mgs and had less limb jerking last night but sleep no better. April 20th cut to 18mg. Link to comment
Leo1983 Posted March 25, 2019 Author Share Posted March 25, 2019 Today i feel like i have a hangover from 30 beers, that i have been 12 rounds with Mayweather, hit over the head by a mugger and hit by a local bus. However for a few weeks before that i felt sort of ok. May 2016 - Aug 2016 - Prozac 20mg March 2017 - June 2017 - Sertraline 100mg. Horrific withdrawal 5 m onths. July 2017 - Aug 2017 - Mirtazapine 15mg. Horrific. August 2017 - December 2017 Fluoxetine 10mg for 2 weeks ghen Escitalopram 20mg for 12 weeks. Never felt normal since this. Or baseline. March 2018 - June 2018 - Escitalopram 5mg for 12 weeks. Stopped and here i am full of symptoms i never had. Link to comment
Leo1983 Posted March 25, 2019 Author Share Posted March 25, 2019 Im at 10 month... I started in a wave 4 days ago. It was different to the rest. I actually knew it was coming over me. The intensity has been like the early days of wd. Very strong anxiety, head symptoms, balance, headaches, lethergy, fatigue...... its wiped me out. Not sure this falls into the 8 - 12 month wave people talk about. But boy its a heavy 1. May 2016 - Aug 2016 - Prozac 20mg March 2017 - June 2017 - Sertraline 100mg. Horrific withdrawal 5 m onths. July 2017 - Aug 2017 - Mirtazapine 15mg. Horrific. August 2017 - December 2017 Fluoxetine 10mg for 2 weeks ghen Escitalopram 20mg for 12 weeks. Never felt normal since this. Or baseline. March 2018 - June 2018 - Escitalopram 5mg for 12 weeks. Stopped and here i am full of symptoms i never had. Link to comment
manny03 Posted March 25, 2019 Share Posted March 25, 2019 1 minute ago, Leo1983 said: Im at 10 month... I started in a wave 4 days ago. It was different to the rest. I actually knew it was coming over me. The intensity has been like the early days of wd. Very strong anxiety, head symptoms, balance, headaches, lethergy, fatigue...... its wiped me out. Not sure this falls into the 8 - 12 month wave people talk about. But boy its a heavy 1. You're not alone in this. I'm starting to get some of the symptoms that I had at the start of my withdrawals. Seems were in a roller coaster ride. Trintellix (Brintellix) 5mg - December 2015 to Mid July 2018 Vitamin C 500mgs daily January 2019 - March 30 2019 Boost my immune system through my withdrawal - Stopped Up and Up 3 Billion Probiotics - Daily for IBS. - Stopped Up and Up 30 Billion Probiotics - Daily for IBS. - Stopped June 16-26 2018: C/T to take Antiviral medication for Shingles outbreak (Due to excessive stress - SSRI Poop Out). June 27 2018: Reinstated (5mg) July 14 2018 last dose due to acute withdrawal symptoms. Link to comment
Leo1983 Posted March 25, 2019 Author Share Posted March 25, 2019 How long you off now? May 2016 - Aug 2016 - Prozac 20mg March 2017 - June 2017 - Sertraline 100mg. Horrific withdrawal 5 m onths. July 2017 - Aug 2017 - Mirtazapine 15mg. Horrific. August 2017 - December 2017 Fluoxetine 10mg for 2 weeks ghen Escitalopram 20mg for 12 weeks. Never felt normal since this. Or baseline. March 2018 - June 2018 - Escitalopram 5mg for 12 weeks. Stopped and here i am full of symptoms i never had. Link to comment
manny03 Posted March 25, 2019 Share Posted March 25, 2019 6 minutes ago, Leo1983 said: How long you off now? Eight months. Trintellix (Brintellix) 5mg - December 2015 to Mid July 2018 Vitamin C 500mgs daily January 2019 - March 30 2019 Boost my immune system through my withdrawal - Stopped Up and Up 3 Billion Probiotics - Daily for IBS. - Stopped Up and Up 30 Billion Probiotics - Daily for IBS. - Stopped June 16-26 2018: C/T to take Antiviral medication for Shingles outbreak (Due to excessive stress - SSRI Poop Out). June 27 2018: Reinstated (5mg) July 14 2018 last dose due to acute withdrawal symptoms. Link to comment
Kostas Posted March 25, 2019 Share Posted March 25, 2019 Withdrawal hit me, believe it or not, 4 years off! During that period I was very functional ! They lasted about 2 years, and now for a year I am fine again, even better than before! Citalopram 20 mg Mid June 1994- end March 1995 Then tapering 3 months Mid August 1995-end August 1996 Tapering 6 months Mid January 2000-end September 2001 Tapering 6 months Mid October 2003-end October 2005 Tapering 7 years. More detailed drug history is here - ☼-kostas Off any drug from October 2012 Link to comment
Kostas Posted March 25, 2019 Share Posted March 25, 2019 4 minutes ago, Leo1983 said: Thats one hell of a delay! 10 weeks after my last med, i went bonkaz mad. Batshit crazy. And basically lived that way for 7 month. However im not as mad now as i was. I do hope in another 6 - 12 month i feel alot more like myself. Pleased your better Lèe Thank you. I am pretty sure you will! Just have patience. Citalopram 20 mg Mid June 1994- end March 1995 Then tapering 3 months Mid August 1995-end August 1996 Tapering 6 months Mid January 2000-end September 2001 Tapering 6 months Mid October 2003-end October 2005 Tapering 7 years. More detailed drug history is here - ☼-kostas Off any drug from October 2012 Link to comment
RusTW Posted March 25, 2019 Share Posted March 25, 2019 50 minutes ago, Leo1983 said: Im at 10 month... I started in a wave 4 days ago. It was different to the rest. I actually knew it was coming over me. The intensity has been like the early days of wd. Very strong anxiety, head symptoms, balance, headaches, lethergy, fatigue...... its wiped me out. Not sure this falls into the 8 - 12 month wave people talk about. But boy its a heavy 1. sorry Lee -i know these waves-i just had a 11day wave that was overwhelming.now alternating every few days.the intensity is like the beginning of wd March-2017-Dec-2017 ativanCT /reinstated ativan 1mg tapered 2 months/June 2017-April 2018 zyprexa 10mg switched to seroquel 200-300mg in april 2018/dec-2017-present zoloft 100mg/ quit seroquel 200-300mg cold turkey May 6 2018 reinstated seroquel 100mg around May 25 2018 since then tapered to 50mg zoloft and 50 mg of seroquel presently other medications Testosterone cypionate 2oomg every 4 days UPDATE -August 20 2018--october 20 2018 tapered off Testosterone/Nov 7 2018 --Dec 20 2018 Lamictal micro dose 2.50mg 1 1/2 weeks then reduced to 1.25 then fast tapered as it became paridoxial.nausea- racing thoughts- agitation and insomnia. August 28 2018 to Present Cannabis indica micro dose PM bedtime only. Presently Seroquel 37.5 mg bedtime /Zoloft 47mg morning May 2018-Present Multivitamin/ Bcomplex/Vit C 1000MG/B12 1000MCG/Fish oils 2grams/ Jan 2019-Trace mineral liquid low dose Update dec 2019 -29mg of zoloft tapering/Seroquel 37.5 holding/1 or 2 ativan 1mg a month as needed if that. Black seed oil-caprylic acid-/b complex/b12/multi/D/E/melatonin Link to comment
Leo1983 Posted March 30, 2019 Author Share Posted March 30, 2019 Hi Just wanted abit support whilst in a wave. Since all this begun, i have started now to notice a pattern. I have spells when i feel sort of OK. By that i mean still not my old self. I can get up and crack on with my day and get back to bed. Then i feel some small waves for a couple of days and think yak, but again i get on with it. Then i have the been "Slammed" basically were i feel lots of anxiety all day, funny head symptoms, neuro feeling like im brain damaged, aches you get the picture. I also think im doomed, i wont heal, im guna loose everything. Then i look back and think 2 weeks ago you were guna do all sorts, you had this all in the bag. Just see it through.. So does this sound like im healing in windows and waves? I think it does. Apologies not had much experience at my brain been turned into a lump of pork. I sleep almost every night all night. But i find the more i sleep the more crappy i feel nxt day?????? My anxiety morning noon and night is what im praying to leave. Alot of other symptoms have improved. I work, i wash, i go to shops, i even go out for meals etc. BUT its still not relaxing and pleasant like it once was. Im a faker. Im not used to this and it winds me up. Just wondering others thoughts. As in a wave i think you loose focus.... your doooomed forever.... Cheers Lee May 2016 - Aug 2016 - Prozac 20mg March 2017 - June 2017 - Sertraline 100mg. Horrific withdrawal 5 m onths. July 2017 - Aug 2017 - Mirtazapine 15mg. Horrific. August 2017 - December 2017 Fluoxetine 10mg for 2 weeks ghen Escitalopram 20mg for 12 weeks. Never felt normal since this. Or baseline. March 2018 - June 2018 - Escitalopram 5mg for 12 weeks. Stopped and here i am full of symptoms i never had. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus eymen23 Posted March 30, 2019 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted March 30, 2019 Leo, You are absolutely describing the ‘windows and waves’ type pattern that is typical in withdrawal. It will vary from feeling ok but not perfect, having a difficult day but just about tolerable, to complete doom and days filled with intense anxiety and physical symptoms. It’s certainly not fun, but if you can be patient and embrace the difficult days as a step towards getting better, you may find them a lot easier to deal with. I know it helps get me through tough times when I picture that each wave of anxiety or aching muscle is my body healing. I tend to feel my best after my symptoms intensity. PLEASE NOTE: I am not a medical professional. I can only provide information and make suggestions. Link to comment
Leo1983 Posted March 30, 2019 Author Share Posted March 30, 2019 Thanks Eymen. May 2016 - Aug 2016 - Prozac 20mg March 2017 - June 2017 - Sertraline 100mg. Horrific withdrawal 5 m onths. July 2017 - Aug 2017 - Mirtazapine 15mg. Horrific. August 2017 - December 2017 Fluoxetine 10mg for 2 weeks ghen Escitalopram 20mg for 12 weeks. Never felt normal since this. Or baseline. March 2018 - June 2018 - Escitalopram 5mg for 12 weeks. Stopped and here i am full of symptoms i never had. Link to comment
Leo1983 Posted April 2, 2019 Author Share Posted April 2, 2019 Dear Santa can i please have my brain back. Oh my days... i am been smashed against the rocks with this wave. I have everything i thought was gone. Everything i had in the earlier days is back.... Give me strength..... May 2016 - Aug 2016 - Prozac 20mg March 2017 - June 2017 - Sertraline 100mg. Horrific withdrawal 5 m onths. July 2017 - Aug 2017 - Mirtazapine 15mg. Horrific. August 2017 - December 2017 Fluoxetine 10mg for 2 weeks ghen Escitalopram 20mg for 12 weeks. Never felt normal since this. Or baseline. March 2018 - June 2018 - Escitalopram 5mg for 12 weeks. Stopped and here i am full of symptoms i never had. Link to comment
RandyJames Posted April 7, 2019 Share Posted April 7, 2019 Hey Leo. I was just stopping in to see how you've been doing but I can see you're really goin through it. Sorry man. I'm doing crappy as well. I can really relate to wanting my brain back. It's the worst. In The Lord of the Rings when Bilbo said, "I feel thin, like butter scraped over to much bread," that kind of sums it up how my brain is working. It's like running on vapors while having your adrenaline turning your stomach over every five seconds. I'm actually going to try and see if CBD will help me any. My wife picked me up a cartridge to try today. I haven't tried it yet as I'm pretty scared it could make things worse but I'm also pretty desperate for some kind of relief. I doubt it will help my brain fog but maybe it could do something for the anxiety or to help me sleep. My sleep it just trash. Just remember you're only a year off. You'll come around. 1994-2009 benzos from age 20 to 36. Added Cymbalta 60mg in 2007. 2008-2009 tapered benzos to zero and quit Cymbalta Cold turkey. WD HELL for two years 2011 started on Lexapro to combat the withdrawal and it worked. 2015 switched to Prozac as Lexapro was not working as well 2017 quit Prozac cold turkey November and crashed into WD. Reinstated Prozac In December with no benefit. 2018 Switched back to Lexapro in January and it took most of the issues away in around 2-3 weeks 2019 In February Lexapro has pooped out and WD feelings back. Tolerance WD I'm sure. March 12th Upped my dose to 30 mgs per doctor's advice to see if Tolerance WD goes away but have had worsening sleep issues with limbs jerking and less sleep. March 17th dropped back down to 20 mgs and had less limb jerking last night but sleep no better. April 20th cut to 18mg. Link to comment
Leo1983 Posted April 8, 2019 Author Share Posted April 8, 2019 Hi mate. My worst symptoms is the Anhedonia, emotional numbness and that sort of dip **** feeling. Anxiety is another, its managable at home and a day off however, when in a social situation or at work it ramps up. It never used to be this way. I have some body aches but kind of get on with it. Morning anxiety is still not great. Its the worst part of the day. However i dont wake wishing i was not alive no more. They were scary times. Just waking up and my mind saying i dont want to live. I knew that wasnt me. Im 10 month out now. I dont see many ppl were this is over at 10 month. But im better. I just have to push myself now and keep faith. I do sometimes just think am i been brain washed to not take meds? Do i need them? Is this all a load of crap? Then i remember how ill i was on the drugs and that very day after 8 weeks off the meds how all hell let loose. It is really really bad situation to be in mate and i have experienced things i never have in my life with these drugs. I just hope we get better and its all worth it m8. You need to get of that drug in the safest way possible. Then the healing will begin fully. May 2016 - Aug 2016 - Prozac 20mg March 2017 - June 2017 - Sertraline 100mg. Horrific withdrawal 5 m onths. July 2017 - Aug 2017 - Mirtazapine 15mg. Horrific. August 2017 - December 2017 Fluoxetine 10mg for 2 weeks ghen Escitalopram 20mg for 12 weeks. Never felt normal since this. Or baseline. March 2018 - June 2018 - Escitalopram 5mg for 12 weeks. Stopped and here i am full of symptoms i never had. Link to comment
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