☼ Leo1983: SSRI withdrawal

[Leo1983]

@Tweet

 

Can i make this simple.

 

Is time the healer and does the brain return to normal. Do the awful symptoms stop on there own accord?

 

Before meds inwas anxious at work! Now im no longer a psychiatric nurse im a surveyor. 

 

I understand good healthy living and good coping strategies etc etc. 

 

This is like a broken leg? No amount of prayer will heal the leg. It heals itself.

[Katy398]

Hi @Leo1983and @waves12I follow the two of you because we have a similar time out from a CT. I totally understand your questions and concerns. I too feel the same. The vision of a pint in a pub with a group of mates really resonated with me when I read it. I actually believe healthy living can and should include a pint with mates!   I too ask myself the question. Do we ever ‘fully’  recover? I don’t know the answer.

 

For me I know that I’m definitely healing, my brain is repairing. 
I woke every single day for about 2.5 years with that cortisol rush of anxiety, in the early days it would be accompanied with a sharp intake of breath. This has improved dramatically definitely not every day now. My facial tick only comes back under intense stress. It used to be a constant throughout the day. I have zero brain zaps these days! I can see changes and although I don’t know for sure I still have a blind faith in healing.

 

I know of someone who had a strange virus that affected her brain functioning . She had to learn to talk, walk, read, write and play her musical instruments all over again, she is now back to being an intelligent fully functioning individual,  with a touch of Bell’s Palsy . It took years to recover. I think about her a lot during this journey. She had to re-learn and put the work in. I used to think in the early days, that we had to sit back as calmly as we could and wait, now I think it’s twofold. For some symptoms we patiently wait,  ticks, cortisol rushes, heart palpitations  etc, For other symptoms I think we have to retrain our broken brains and focus on strengthening the positive pathways and controlling  the negative pathways. Labelling negative ruminations and Catastrophizing as WD symptoms, that will go away eventually,  is one strategy I use the more attention I give them the stronger that neural pathway will become so I work hard to not give them strength.   It’s not easy in a wave that’s for sure. Stress is a terrible trigger for me. I can have stressful situations end yet symptoms can linger for weeks afterwards.  

 

I can see change and that gives me hope.  I am too scared to reinstate, so won’t and  here I am with you all working hard and waiting.  Hang on in there folks our families need us too 😊 Oh and one last thing,  I too would love to know if anyone has actually recovered enough to be able to go out for that elusive  pint with mates!!  X 

[Leo1983]

Ive been out for loads of pints with mates lol..

 

Its just the anxiety that goes with it that bothers me. Before during and after the event. 

 

Its a joke all of this to be honest. Even been in this position from a poxy prescribed drug

[Leo1983]

Spoke to 3 people from the success stories lately and 2 have said since writing there stories they dont ever think they will feel like they did before meds. 

[Amira]

6 hours ago, Leo1983 said:

they dont ever think they will feel like they did before meds. 

 I dont understand the statement. Could you please explain @Leo1983

[Tweet]

13 hours ago, Leo1983 said:

@Tweet

 

Can i make this simple.

 

Is time the healer and does the brain return to normal. Do the awful symptoms stop on there own accord?

 

Before meds inwas anxious at work! Now im no longer a psychiatric nurse im a surveyor. 

 

I understand good healthy living and good coping strategies etc etc. 

 

This is like a broken leg? No amount of prayer will heal the leg. It heals itself.

Time is the healer. Bipolar behavior is a stage in healing for your brain. It is just a symptom of damage.

You will pass through the high anxiety/depression.

You will pass through the bipolar, hyper-emotional period. 

Both are wild stages on the road to healing. Your CNS and brain are swinging back and forth trying to calibrate back to normal. Think of trying to focus while looking through binoculars. You adjust it and it's too blurry, then it gets clear then it gets too blurry again then it gets clear etc. That's your damaged brain right now. 

It's trying to focus in on the normal range.

There's no hurrying it. You have no control. Time is the key.

Unfortunately drinking is probably hindering progress. Also, scary or dramatic shows or literature made it harder for me also when I was at your stage. Really babied myself  as far as protecting my CNS from too much drama.

 

 

 

[persistente]

On 8/19/2021 at 11:26 PM, Leo1983 said:

Spoke to 3 people from the success stories lately and 2 have said since writing there stories they dont ever think they will feel like they did before meds. 

Please explain. I try to stay away from generalization but would like to know. Different can be better.

 

I also think I will feel different after this. I already do. It would be such a waste to go through so much pain and not to improve myself.

[Leo1983]

Now today things have gone to far 🤣.

 

I went to a health food shop. I explained about my withdrawal experience and the torment. 

 

I focused mainly on my gut symptoms and asked if i could take anything to help ease/cleanse my stomach. 

 

Then the fun began, she leant over picked up and crystal and began waving it over some papers. She turned and said " Your riddled with Candida". Then she began waving it again and stopped and said " Your a Cherry plum" i said what is that? She said your in turmoil and you have been keeping this to yourself. I said how the hell you know this? She says " im dowsing you". 

 

Have i not suffered enough🤣. Then from out of the blue walked in her hypnotherapist. She said i need a hair sample for 30 pounds i will test you and he is 40 pound per hour. 

 

For the love of life! Im in the wrong job. 

 

 

[Leo1983]

@persistente @Amira

 

I spoke with 2 of our success stories. 

 

One states they were recovered but have found life really difficult after there story was wrote. 

 

The other states that some symptoms returned after there story but they just accept them. 

 

 

[Tweet]

6 hours ago, Leo1983 said:

Now today things have gone to far 🤣.

 

I went to a health food shop. I explained about my withdrawal experience and the torment. 

 

I focused mainly on my gut symptoms and asked if i could take anything to help ease/cleanse my stomach. 

 

Then the fun began, she leant over picked up and crystal and began waving it over some papers. She turned and said " Your riddled with Candida". Then she began waving it again and stopped and said " Your a Cherry plum" i said what is that? She said your in turmoil and you have been keeping this to yourself. I said how the hell you know this? She says " im dowsing you". 

 

Have i not suffered enough🤣. Then from out of the blue walked in her hypnotherapist. She said i need a hair sample for 30 pounds i will test you and he is 40 pound per hour. 

 

For the love of life! Im in the wrong job. 

 

 

😂😂😂😂🍒💸

[persistente]

12 hours ago, Leo1983 said:

@persistente @Amira

 

I spoke with 2 of our success stories. 

 

One states they were recovered but have found life really difficult after there story was wrote. 

 

The other states that some symptoms returned after there story but they just accept them. 

 

 

That could have been me if I wrote sucess story 2 years ago when I thought this was all over. I was not in any wave for more than few months and felt it was over. The only reason I did not write it was because I saw people write success story and then spoke about the return of the same symptoms. I did not want to do that. 

 

I survived the antidepressants and I am surviving the wd. The first success sory I red here was Nadia. I was just few months in wd at that time. I was shocked because it took her 5 years to write success story. I thought I would never live that long. I am close to 4 years now.

 

I can relate to her so much. I will write success story when this is all completly behind me. I am at the stage where I truly feel it will happen. 

[persistente]

12 hours ago, Leo1983 said:

 

Then the fun began, she leant over picked up and crystal and began waving it over some papers. She turned and said " Your riddled with Candida". Then she began waving it again and stopped and said " Your a Cherry plum" i said what is that? She said your in turmoil and you have been keeping this to yourself. I said how the hell you know this? She says " im dowsing you". 

 

Have i not suffered enough🤣. Then from out of the blue walked in her hypnotherapist. She said i need a hair sample for 30 pounds i will test you and he is 40 pound per hour. 

 

 

 

Candida story as a cause of problems is very popular....It covers everything. Even wd. 😅

[Leo1983]

@persistente

 

There is no test in the UK for Candida. Well our health services dont offer it free. 

 

It was the waving of the crystal over some paper that got me 🤣. 

 

You have alot of Candida she said..... wow i said maybe you could wave that and tell me why im suffering symptoms i have never had lol. 

 

Yeh i see your point with the success story. 

 

To be honest i just dont know anymore! Im 38 month out of a Cold turkey and all i know is i still feel "mental" and i never did feel this way. 

 

I just dont know anymore!

[Leo1983]

Morning or evening over the pond

 

Ok - at what point do you wake up and say ok ok ok, i must have depression and anxiety. 

 

This cant still be from 3 years ago stopping a pill. 

 

I try all the self care etc but life is life. I work have 3 kids and a life. 

 

This is existing!

[Moonpie]

So sorry to hear you are still suffering and having such a hard time.  I know this  is a struggle after facing it for so long.  Don't give up! I remember you said some of your original symptoms have gotten better. That is  progress.  Someday this will be over for you.

[Leo1983]

Someday...... 

 

Its almost 3.5 years of life  

[Leo1983]

@brassmonkey

 

3.5 years out from CT.

 

just want to know after all this time and no matter what I do I still feel awful most days. It’s like living in a daily **** storm.

 

My main issue is Anhedonia/depression and DP/DR.

 

as I’m sure you are aware these are the classic symptoms of depression. 
 

after so long why arnt they shifting?

 

could it be I need treatment? I know how to live with it and cope as I have done for 3 years. But that is not a life and that’s not one I will still be saying in 2 years time I’m willing to keep going with. 
 

Depression left untreated can cause bigger and bigger issues.

 

 

what’s your view

 

 

[Altostrata]

You are free to take any psychiatric drug you want. Just about any doctor would be delighted to write you a prescription.

[Leo1983]

@Altostrata

 

That wasn’t my question? I’m asking after all this time why is it not lifting?

 

[Leo1983]

It’s all good and well telling people to keep going living in misery but when is enough enough.

 

people have lives, jobs and kids!
 

 

[Altostrata]

Leo, there's no winning with you. 24 pages of whatever suggestions you get, they're wrong.

 

Please, by all means, go your own way.

[Leo1983]

I have had a think over the past couple of days following some interactions on here lately. 
 

Before medication I was pretty good. I lacked confidence at work and had a pretty normal response to public speaking. 
 

i tried a load of SSRIs thinking they were going to turn me into Winston Churchill. 
 

I know in my heart 1000% that I suffered something 8 weeks after CT that I had never suffered before. I know first hand iatrogenic damage is real. They symptoms I had and the pain was horrific.

 

At the time I was so vulnerable and required so much reassurance. I thought by 2 year I would be cured. It’s now 3.5 year and I’m still not back to normal should we say. 
 

The site was great and the information really helped you understand what was happening and I seen so many other people in the same boat. So what I am saying is the site was a lifesaver.

 

However, I look back and I see how many times I was threatened to be banned when all I was doing was looking to be told I will be ok. I still to this day get spoke to like a child and find I’m greeted with sarcasm at times. 
 

It appears a one size fits all. “ keep going” “ stay off the meds” “ use the tools” I sort of get that for so long, but after years is this really the case? Who knows! 
 

I have a long thread that I have wrote on over the years and I have had some great feedback. However I continue to write as I have not recovered. My days are murder at times!!!! That’s what I care about most!!! Nothing else before that!! I think that’s fair enough. 
 

I guess what I’m saying is at first the site was great. I followed all the advice and have done for 3.5 year. However the following has not cured me. At times I find when your on your knees your spoken to like dog crap for posting. I find it’s very like if you don’t want to believe what your told then move on. If you don’t follow the advice don’t post. I also feel after years of this site that I am petrified to even visit a GP. 
 

I mean do I post in another 5 year and write about how I’m still not recovered. I hope I am. 
 

I just think I’m going to take a break from here and I’m going to try and return to my old ways. It’s support we all need when we feel so bad. I know there are people who are loosing everything and sat at home struggling 3, 4, 5 years and it’s support and advice they need! I’m not promoting medication I’m just saying I don’t know how much sitting around changes this. 
 

Thanks

 

 🙏

 

 

 

[JesusSavemefromWD]

I feel ur pain and desperation… I am in the same boat.,,,, severe suffering after just few weeks on Zoloft and no relief 10 months later. It is horrific what these “legally approved poisons” do to people. Every day i ruminate between going back on drugs in the hopes of relieving symptoms or just keep taking the suffering and give it more time  ….. I ll be praying for both of us…. Please stay strong and I hope whatever u decide to do works for u.

[Dylanmatthew]

Hi, Leo. It's been awhile since we've spoken. Please, tell me you're doing? I just read your posts from Sept 2021. Seems you haven't been feeling too well and I am sorry to hear that. I used to post here often too. I am feeling awful every day. Mainly severe depression and the general symptoms that come with it. Fatigue, anhedonia and malaise are destroying me. I am turning 30 here in a few months. Life is lonely. I don't even think I can blame lexapro WD anymore. Let me know if you find an answer, maybe it will help me as well.

 

One day our suffering will stop. Sure, it might be death that ends it. But it will end...

 

[Pepms]

Hi Leo how have you been? It’s been a while since you posted an update 🙂

[stech]

@Leo1983 hey do you have any update?

[SertralineIssues29]

Hey @Leo1983 I just wanted to see how your doing now mate, if you come back keep us posted

 

SI xx