☼ Leo1983: SSRI withdrawal

[Leo1983]

That question baffles me why I get no answer. 

 

Anyways. I was wondering if it would be ok to do a daily symptoms list. 

 

10pm - go to bed. Sleep until 5am. Then toss and turn and rest until 7am. Lay in bed and my head just automatically starts going 100 mph for no reason. How do I go to work? Will I loose my house? Will I stay like this? What happened to the old me? You get it I'm sure. 

 

8am - 11am - Sat on sofa on phone going over and over stuff. Feel anxious and pacey. Just can't get motivated. 

 

12pm - 3pm. Feel head pressure and cog fog. Day dreamy type of feeling. Requires a lot of self talk. 

 

3pm - 10pm - Not too bad start to feel brighter more like me. From about 6pm I feel pretty ok. Then back to bed and the brain seems to reset itself back to hell on waking again. 

 

Diet and fluid intake is good throughout the day. Lethargy is a big issue. But again I power on. 

 

Thanks

 

Lee.

[Leo1983]

Oh and daily I still have genital numbness. Like a cold type of feeling. It works still, just not the same. 

 

PSSD?? 

[Altostrata]

12 hours ago, Leo1983 said:

I know I'm worrying and I think that maybe because my life is upside down. 

 

I think my worry about this topic is it has been mentioned in the essay however no explanation left. I'm worrying is there something special about the people who ended up on a carousel of drugs after stopping them after 2-3 months. Or are they the same as others. 

 

Thanks for your time. 

 

Many of the people on this site ended up on a carousel of drugs, in the same situation. Please read other Intro topics.

 

53 minutes ago, Leo1983 said:

Oh and daily I still have genital numbness. Like a cold type of feeling. It works still, just not the same. 

 

PSSD?? 

 

It still works, that's good. It will take time for recovery, which will be slow and frustrating. Try not to worry while it's going on.

 

You have worse symptoms in the morning, this is common. You are reacting to a normal morning spike in cortisol, the activating hormone. Darkening your bedroom and wearing a sleep mask can help.

[Leo1983]

Hi. 

 

This will be my last 1 for a while. 

 

If you take the drug for anxiety and end up depressed on the drug. Does this follow on in withdrawal?.

 

Just it seems my mood is so low it's never been this low. Ever! Anhedonia is a joke. 

[Leo1983]

Anxiety was my complaint for medications.

[dj2010]

12 minutes ago, Leo1983 said:

Hi. 

 

This will be my last 1 for a while. 

 

If you take the drug for anxiety and end up depressed on the drug. Does this follow on in withdrawal?.

 

Just it seems my mood is so low it's never been this low. Ever! Anhedonia is a joke. 

 

I was super depressed and had bad anxiety on meds, the depression and anxiety lifted after finished my taper,

 

my anhedonia has almost completely lifted now and back doing things I enjoy (except partying)

 

I see you are 34 the same age as me so still young and plenty of time to heal and live a full life, don't worry thats your life's a mess at the moment you can pick up the pieces and rebuild after withdrawal,

 

[Happy2Heal]

5 hours ago, Leo1983 said:

Hi. 

 

This will be my last 1 for a while. 

 

If you take the drug for anxiety and end up depressed on the drug. Does this follow on in withdrawal?.

 

Just it seems my mood is so low it's never been this low. Ever! Anhedonia is a joke. 

 

 

hi Leo1983

 

It's best to not focus so much on your symptoms, they are going to be what they are and there's not much you can do about that

 

once you've had some time to look around the forum and read other ppls stories, you'll see that what you are going thru is VERY typical

 

it doesn't make it any easier, but what WILL help is focusing on what is going right in your day to day life and what things have improved if any

 

usually over time you can see some small improvement

 

you may see new symptoms pop up as well, just know that they are very very common and nothing to be afraid of

 

how we react to the symptoms  is what helps us get thru this

try to calmly tell yourself, ok this is a new symptom , it kinda sucks but it's just a symptom of my brain healing, it's a good thing

it means my brain is doing the work it needs to do for me to recover

 

it means that I am healing, and in time I am going to feel a whole lot better

 

in the meantime, find things to distract yourself

 

anhedonia is hard, but keep going thru the motions if you can, it will help you in the long run

 

get out in the morning sun if you can, it will help lift your mood (it really does!!)

try to remember to lift your head and look up (but never directly at the sun of course)

force yourself to smile, your brain will take that as a signal to produce the chemicals associated with happiness

it may not make you feel happy but it will help prime your brain for happiness once the work of healing is done

 

you're going to be fine!

 

[Leo1983]

Thanks so much 

[Leo1983]

Oh my days. 

 

So last night I took a 1000mg Vit C. The rationale was to help with cortisol this morning. 

 

I have had a dreadful day with symptoms. Could the vit C be the culprit in any way? 

 

Hope all are recovering. 

 

Lee

[ChessieCat]

It may well be.  I suggest you start treating yourself more gently.  You are in recovery.  When trying anything new SA recommends trying a low dose to see how your respond and increasing gradually.  From Post #1 in this topic:  Keep it Simple, Slow and Stable

 

2. Keep it slow.
 
Many people become very sensitive to drugs and supplements after they've experienced withdrawal symptoms for even a short time. Do not count on taking the big risks you used to take. Make changes slowly.
 
Introducing a drug or supplement or changing a dosage very gradually gives you the ability to sample how it might affect you before you go too far.
 
A big dose or big change probably will cause a worse bad reaction than a very small dose or change.

[Santino]

On 11/3/2018 at 12:16 PM, Leo1983 said:

I think my worry about this topic is it has been mentioned in the essay however no explanation left. I'm worrying is there something special about the people who ended up on a carousel of drugs after stopping them after 2-3 months. Or are they the same as others. 

 

Hi Leo

I bet your rumination has nothing to do with reality. I was thinking same as you on and off during my WD. I would even test my self with staying without movement for some minutes... and every small thing in the future would scare me. I was thinking time after time that i might be wrong and when i go back to normal  things will never be the same... HERE I AM BUDDY....ALL GOOD.

Try to compare your initial situation... Were you feeling the same as during the meds...? I swear NO. Just stick on that and what the other guys are saying. You are very strong and will come on the other side sane and sound.
All the best

[Leo1983]

Hello mate how's You?

 

Yeh - well before meds I had people skills and could remember what I had done 5 minutes previous lol. I admit I had anxiety but it was not all day everyday. 

 

On the meds i was a chemical basket case. I lost all my skills and my qualitues/ interests. 

 

Then withdrawal is a completly New set of rules. This is hard-core suffering. 

 

 

So I guess before meds I had my issues. But once I started with meds my life became very small and the walls closed in. Lucky I was able to learn of withdrawal and stop the meds but boy it's been a fight. They are the DEVIL.

 

 

[Leo1983]

Any opinions would be good. 

 

Last night I slept broken but most of the night. 

 

I woke up and my anxiety was low. I went to shops, my grandparents and I hovered for her etc. I then went out for a while walking and chatting to my neighbour. 

 

I am back to my usual symptoms tonight. 

 

Was this a window? I still had head pressure and cog fog but I just felt a sense of ease on my body most part of the day.

[Happy2Heal]

8 minutes ago, Leo1983 said:

Any opinions would be good. 

 

Last night I slept broken but most of the night. 

 

I woke up and my anxiety was low. I went to shops, my grandparents and I hovered for her etc. I then went out for a while walking and chatting to my neighbour. 

 

I am back to my usual symptoms tonight. 

 

Was this a window? I still had head pressure and cog fog but I just felt a sense of ease on my body most part of the day.

 

 

yes that sounds like a window

 

this is very good, you should expect to get more and more of those

 

you are healing.

it's hard, but it won't last forever!

 

[Leo1983]

Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeer haaaaaaaaaaaaaa

[Leo1983]

I think H2H and Santino will help me so much with this. 

 

Thanks guys. 

[Asta]

Lee, I'm glad for you!

[Leo1983]

Thanks Asta. 

 

It was just easier to do the things I want. I did not feel amazing, but it was just easier. I felt I had a Bit personality back. 

 

How are You?? 

[Asta]

Im feeling up and down. I'm afraid that bad symptoms I getting because I don't cut Trazadone tablet into equal dose.

[Leo1983]

Yeah I know what you mean.

 

You still going to work?

 

I was once told that splitting pills is not a good idea. That you can not guarantee how much of the medication is shared amongst the pill. 

 

You could get a lot of medication from one piece and not so much the next day. 

 

A liquid would be better maybe. 

 

It's such a awful issue. 

[Leo1983]

Advice would be good.

 

I have seemed to turn really lethargic. Sleepy lethargic. My mood is really flat. I still have some anxiety but it feels less intense. My head still feels foggy but I my memory appears a little better. When I say lethargic I'm talking super lethargic. 

 

I guess it's more depression type feeling and Anhedonia  sleepy urgghhh type of I have had 8hrs sleep but I'm still not refreshed or happy. God i can't wait to feel happy again. Excited is what I miss. 

[Asta]

Yes, I work, but it's not easy.

[Leo1983]

Tell me about it. 

 

In work in mental health, imagine that. My view has changed 

[Santino]

22 hours ago, Leo1983 said:

 

I woke up and my anxiety was low. I went to shops, my grandparents and I hovered for her etc. I then went out for a while walking and chatting to my neighbour. 

 

I am back to my usual symptoms tonight. 

 

Was this a window? I still had head pressure and cog fog but I just felt a sense of ease on my body most part of the day.

You see .... you re on the right direction. 

 I agree with Astaa... you will start to have more of those moments and longer periods of windows. Anhedonia and tiredness will continue and most probably anxiety will go down, and it will only appear here and there only if your rumination brain feeds it. I have told you do not expect a snap of fingers and voila.... symptoms will abate slowly and during this time you will have periods of windows and waves... that is for sure. Just when on a wave try to ride it out... It usually goes away once you know how to ride it... On a bad day try to push forward until a good and stable moment arrives... when on a good moment just enjoy it. 

OK...??? 🙂

 

[Leo1983]

Hi Santino. 

 

Yesterday was a fairly good day. First 1 in a long time. 

 

Today I woke up and was very tired. I felt depressed and low tearful all morning. Then about 2pm I snapped out of it and I have been out shopping, picked my boy up and took him to the dentist. I'm back now and feel a Bit better. It's just so exhausting. I feel every place I go I have to fake that I feel ok. When really I'm anxious not in touch with reality and feel depressed. It's awful. 

[Leo1983]

@Altostrata

 

Hi. I watched your video today on YouTube a few year back. Nice work. I have been attempting to contact Sammi Timimi. 

 

You said back then you did not leave the house for 4 years? Do you leave it now Ok? Did that all go away itself. 

[Altostrata]

Yes, my life is fairly normal now.

[Leo1983]

Hi.

 

If I could just have some help understanding this, before I go mad er!!

 

I was drinking a lot over the weekends then going to work on a Monday sweaty and heart racing and feeling just awful. I thought it was anxiety ONLY. Then I started to think is it alcohol As well. Am I withdrawing from my weekends of 4-6 bottles of wine. 

 

This one weekend after a awful day at work I went home really anxious and started to drink all weekend. Monday morning I was a bag of nerves. I did not sleep for 4 nights and all I did was sweat. I went off sick and went to the doctors. 

 

Prescribed Mirtazapine 15mg for 2 weeks. Poorly just wanted to sleep. Spaced out the usual stuff. Went dizzy on the drug and nausea. Came off the drug that continued. 

 

Then after 2 weeks I could not manage. Then the Escitalopram 20mg for 3 month again was just poorly the whole time. CT that. Was off for 12 weeks and had to go back on Escitalopram at 5mg for 12 weeks. Stopped all meds 5 Month ago and I have. 

 

- Anxiety all day. Not like before meds. It's like a panic fear anxiety of all sorts. 

 

Dark depression mainly in morning. It's awful. Never had that in my life. 

 

Cognitive issues/ memory concentration. None of this before meds.

 

Lack of emotions unable to express myself or relate to people. 

 

Some minor aches. Not before meds. 

 

Extreme lethargy. Not before meds. 

 

 

The only thing I had before meds was the insomnia, sweating, anxiety. It felt like some of the symptoms I have now.

 

My question is and I think it will shut me up!!!

 

I was having an episode of Anxiety insomnia and sweating before meds. It was pretty intense however it was a reaction to a situation at work. I took the meds and then I was even worse the whole time. Then a stopped the meds and now I'm suffering all sorts. 

 

My mind keeps telling me. " Lee you were poorly before meds you were anxious and not well that's why you took meds". So basically I keep thinking is this my mental health issues or is it the withdrawal. But then I remember before meds I was better able to manage myself and I had feelings and was able to manage during the days. I did not ignore people and hide away like a little scared boy. 

 

It's just clarity I want as it seems to be my biggest thought. 

[Happy2Heal]

hi Leo

 

I think the question you may wish to ask yourself is : what will it mean to you to know the answer to "is it me or is it withdrawal?"

 

How would that change what you are doing?

You still need to find ways to deal with the symptoms, regardless of the source, right?

You know what  did not work:  self medicating with alcohol- didn't help, right?

 

trying medications- didn't help, am I right? 

 

There are non drug and non-chemical ways to deal with how you are feeling. there's lots of threads about how to deal with symptoms just take a look around the forum

 

It is probably even the withdrawal that is tricking your mind into thinking that this is a question you need an answer to, but it's just your brain healing

 

it's a bizarre thing but most of us went thru this: we had questions like this that seemed so important at the time. 

 

in fact, in early withdrawal a lot of things seem super scary and important but they are all withdrawal symptoms

 

 

it's hard to wrap our heads around all the strange things that happen to us during withdrawal but if you read other ppls stories here, you'll see that what you're going thru, including the obsession with questions like this, is very common for WD recovery

 

very very common, sadly

 

 

[MariusP95]

Hi Leo,i read your story,unfortunately you take AD's way longer than me,so you should expect a bit more long W/D from them,but W/D will be gone soon,just hang there.

During this W/D,i would recomend to avoid intake Coffe,energy drinks,alcohol and smoking,doing that will speed up your brain recovery.

And for managing anxiety/agitation/mood-swings from W/D,you should try take daily fish oil,along with magnesium glycinate,it definitely help me and it should help you too.

Wish you well recovery and good luck,stay strong,and stay healthy and clean off these drugs,when you feel your mind racing,go outside breathe some fresh air,go for a walk,make a tea,play a game..etc,just to keep your mind bussy when that happens.

 

[Leo1983]

Oh my days. 

 

I went to collect my boy from school today. Did some shopping in Asda.

 

Whilst in Asda  I seen a friend. He started to talk and my withdrawal just went 10 fold. Anxiety was crazy, heart pumping, I wanted to bolt, big wide eyes. It was awful. Oh brain fog dizzy the works. 

 

Basically I can't stop thinking what an idiot I felt. All because of these bloody symptoms. It is a scandal.

 

Feel like such a looser as I did not used to do these things. I was the talker!! Not the scared boy.  

[ChessieCat]

On 10/21/2018 at 9:01 AM, ChessieCat said:

What non-drug coping techniques have you tried and/or are using?  It's important to learn and use them to help get through the tough times both now and later on in life:  Non-drug techniques to cope

 

It's also helpful to learn Acceptance / Acceptance and Mindfulness 

 

Again I ask what non-drug coping techniques have you tried out?

 

H2H has mentioned the same thing:

 

On 11/9/2018 at 12:13 AM, Happy2Heal said:

There are non drug and non-chemical ways to deal with how you are feeling. there's lots of threads about how to deal with symptoms just take a look around the forum

 

However, only you can learn and use them to help yourself.

 

They do work.  I've been going through an extremely tough time recently (I've written about it in my Intro) and the techniques that I learned 4 years ago when I did an online CBT course, as well as things that I have learned since I have been a member here, have been very helpful.  They haven't solved my problems but have helped me cope with the distress and physical sensations that the stress has caused.  On Thursday I was concerned about going into work because the previous week I had had a major melt down.  As I was driving in the gate I felt sick, but I knew it was from the anxiety and told myself that I would be okay and I only had to go through it once.  I took a few deep breaths and was able to manage.  Before I had learned coping techniques, I wouldn't have recognised what was happening and probably would have ended up in tears and crying hysterically in the car and not been able to go into the office.  What I was experiencing was the fight or flight reaction.  When we don't understand what is happening it can lead to what is called "second fear" or fear of the fear, getting scared because we don't know what is going on and why we are feeling the way we are.  Claire Weekes' is very good at explaining this and how to cope with it.

 

You have a choice, you can keep doing things the same way you are doing it now, which doesn't appear to be working very well,  or do something about it.  Learning and using non drug techniques isn't just helpful for now, but they are tool that you can use for the rest of your life.  I only wish I had learned them during my teens years.  I'm 61 now.  I could have saved me a lot of "pain" and I may not have ended up on an AD.    

 

LINKS:

 

Non-drug techniques to cope

 

dealing-with-emotional-spirals

 

Dr Claire Weekes suffered from anxiety and learned and taught ways of coping.  There are videos available on YouTube.

 

Claire Weekes' Method of Recovering from a Sensitized Nervous System

 

Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) for anxiety, depression

 

Audio:  First Aid for Panic (4 minutes)
 

CBT Course:  An Introductory Self-Help Course in Cognitive Behaviour Therapy
 

Audio:  How to Recover from Anxiety - Dr Claire Weekes
 

Anxiety Stuff - all kinds of stuff about anxiety attacks and things that help ...
 

Resources:  Centre for Clinical Interventions (PDF modules that you can work through, eg:  Depression, Distress Intolerance, Health Anxiety, Low Self-Esteem, Panic Attacks, Perfectionism, Procrastination, Social Anxiety, Worrying)

 

So, WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO TRY?  Let us know what you try and whether you find something that works.

 

Edited November 9, 2018 by ChessieCat

[SkyBlue]

1 hour ago, ChessieCat said:

Again I ask what non-drug coping techniques have you tried out?

 

Leo, you need to answer this question before posting again about your symptoms. Please acknowledge the ideas and suggestions Chessie has kindly given you.

[Leo1983]

I'm starting psychotherapy next week. 

 

I started magnesium last night. 

 

I always talk myself into everything I do at the minute. I don't hide away and I do what I have to in a day. Including 13hr shifts x3 week. 

 

I walk my dogs. 

 

I take magnesium baths. 

 

I watch TV and I read a lot on my phone. 

 

This is something on a different level regardless of coping techniques. This is from morning to night and I have never had this. My baseline only required a quick prompt in the morning to get up and go to work. My symptoms at present are holding me back. 

 

When that happened last night in the Asda store I just said well there ain't a lot I can do about it but accept it happened. It's like this whole WD it ruins all the good things in life. 

[Leo1983]

I feel like my anxiety is on Crack! It did not used to be. 

 

Depression I never had this before meds. 

 

Thick heavy head etc etc. 

 

I am trying all sorts of positive self talk, I challenge thoughts. But this is a physical and mental thing like never before. It's a new me. 

 

It needs to leave. 

[ChessieCat]

8 minutes ago, Leo1983 said:

It needs to leave. 

 

Unfortunately it doesn't work that way.  To reduce your stress you need to learn ways to keep yourself as calm and stress free as possible.  Learning to accept is part of that.

 

16 minutes ago, Leo1983 said:

Including 13hr shifts x3 week. 

 

I walk my dogs. 

 

I watch TV and I read a lot on my phone. 

 

There are many members here who currently aren't able to do these things.