Jeremy1069: SSRIs

[jeremy1069]

Still on Lorazepam.

 

I used to have a lot of hobbies and things I could do with my time which kept me busy. The reason I was on the medication (OCD) decided in 2016 that my hobbies were the cause of every bad thing that happens, so I can’t enjoy them anymore. It’s been mostly 3 years missing what I used to enjoy doing. The medication was not helping anymore, thus I tried a few others and stopped. 

 

I do seem to feel better when I’m distracted, traveling, etc. My mood goes up quite a bit. 

[ChessieCat]

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Your post has been moved to this topic:  weight-gain-weight-loss-appetite-changes-hunger

 

[jeremy1069]

Just wanted to leave an update. Been on zero for almost a year this coming January.

 

Was feeling progress in the late summer and fall. Was sleeping better, skin burning and flushing was gone. Mood was overall stable. Went on for quite sometime and I was hopeful.

 

Feels like I’m going backward as of this week. Some very bad anxiety in recent weeks, nothing too serious as far as that. However, the sleep issues are starting up again and I just had some of the burning and flushing with my skin tonight which is unfortunate. Happened just before I decided to leave this update. I knew this could happen again so it’s not as much as a shock as it is more grief. 

 

I had about 2-4 incidents of something different in the last month where I went from severe anxiety to abruptly feeling nothing (Numb, absolutely no emotion at all, almost complete peace) within a couple hours of each other. No idea what that was. I didn’t like it but I didn’t hate it either.  

 

Lately (last few months) I’ve been very sensitive to light. Everything looks like a glare. I saw an eye doctor in August who assured me “There is nothing wrong with your eyes.”

 

Over the summer I also saw a neurologist. Had an MRI because I was questioning some of this, and my hearing problem which is now another story requiring surgery. Based on the MRI, the neurologist told me everything was because of the ongoing complications with the withdrawal (Finally someone who knew what they were talking about) 

 

At this point my biggest concern is sleep. I have a sleep schedule and routine for the first time since I was at least 11. Over 20 years. Only occasional incidents of insomnia have been disrupting this. I’m most worried about going back to where I was between August ‘18 and sometime over this past summer. 

 

 

[Altostrata]

Very interesting about the neurologist. Did he or she say anything else about withdrawal?

 

Are you still taking lorazepam? What times of day and dosages?

 

Are you taking fish oil and magnesium? What kind, how much?

[jeremy1069]

9 hours ago, Altostrata said:

Very interesting about the neurologist. Did he or she say anything else about withdrawal?

 

Are you still taking lorazepam? What times of day and dosages?

 

Are you taking fish oil and magnesium? What kind, how much?

Nothing else from the neurologist.

 

Still on Lorazepam, 2MG x 3. Doesn’t do much

 

Nothing else

[Altostrata]

12 hours ago, Altostrata said:

What times of day and dosages?

 

A lot of people find fish oil and magnesium supplements helpful, see
https://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/36-king-of-supplements-omega-3-fatty-acids-fish-oil/
https://survivingantidepressants.org/topic/15483-magnesium-natures-calcium-channel-blocker/

 

Try a little bit of one at a time to see how it affects you.

[jeremy1069]

Little under 2 years since I started my last SSRI (Was Spring ‘18 when I started Luvox). 

 

Struggling now with skin thinning and rashes and what a dermatologist told me this past January was psoriasis and today said “That’s just some leftover red, you can stop all medications.” Actually that “leftover red” was where it started. Lots of pimples, red rashes, scars, etc. Hoping this is also just withdrawal related and not something else.

 

I’ve been certain it’s all aging since I’m almost 33 (Some grey hair and joint pain too) but I’m suspicious as it all pretty much started abruptly in 2018 when this began. It’s amazing how much visible damage one year and a couple of medications could do to a person. 

 

Then there’s the abrupt hearing loss I got in one ear in 2018 that nobody can diagnose. Had a hearing test a couple weeks ago that came out “Exceptional” Saying I can hear the tones better than most people my age, yet everything is quieter and it feels full in that ear. The neurologist that read an MRI last year said it’s probably complications from withdrawal. I’m hopeful this will stop. But it seems like some things are getting worse while other things improve slightly. 

 

Seems like it’s too late for my ear. Skin I don’t know. 

[jeremy1069]

This is hard. Really hard. I had been better this last month as far as overall mood. Very mellow. Still had been having severe anxiety and an uptick in extreme panic attacks at night. Really bad skin trouble. My hands and feet and edges bright red, pimples and other problems all over my face. I look older than I am.

 

Was dealing fine these past couple weeks until last night. Boom. Insomnia hits again. Trouble sleeping. Feeling empty and uninterested. Songs making me break down to tears. Pressure in my head.

 

I was hoping this was almost done after 2 years. Obviously not there yet. But it was nice having a few weeks with my family without the doom and gloom or “Being always negative” as they call it. 

 

Been thru these “Almost there” moments so I guess I have to keep waiting. I really think the skin problems are what is really bothering the most at the moment (Unless Insomnia starts back up, then I’m in trouble). I should expect normal signs of aging as I just turned 33 this month but I look and feel terrible. This all began in 2018 when I started this process. When I see pictures of myself from 2 years ago it’s jarring how much I have aged since.

 

New symptom for me (Which I believe is related to the skin issues I’m having now) Erectile dysfunction, burning and incontinence which showed up late last year or around Januaey. I’m not sexually active so I don’t believe that part matters aside from the incontinence which is a burden. The private area burns so bad that I can’t even wear underwear anymore. Can’t get to a urologist because the pandemic and I’m not even sure of it’s withdrawal related or not..

 

Seems like one or two things trade off for another, hang on awhile, disappear, and then flip flop to something else all while one major symptom hangs on for the duration. I just want to feel better. Feel like I lost two years that I’ll never get back. Been obsessively longing for my youth. 

 

The sleep issue last night really angered me. I had been getting tired, going straight to sleep and sleeping fine for a good 2-3 months now without issue. I was finally having dreams again. Pleasant dreams actually. Went years without dreaming. Now the insomnia misery of 2018-2019 came back to haunt me. I tend to blame my beds that sag. I plan to buy the firmest one I can find once I get my stimulus check. Sleep is the most important thing when coping with this. 

[jeremy1069]

Here we are again. I figured I’d leave an update if that’s OK.

 

In a little over a month, 2 years will pass since I last took an SSRI.

 

Unfortunately for me, I was put in a forced taper for a benzo that I had been taken just as long. That’s another story for a different place..

 

Anyway tonight I’m having trouble sleeping. My fault. Went to sleep at 5PM and ended up only sleeping 3 hours. Otherwise this symptom has improved.

 

I have lost weight. Was looking at pictures of myself from a couple years ago when I was still on Zoloft. My face in specific. Weight gain must have been a side effect.

 

My skin burning symptoms have mostly gone this year. Unfortunately they returned in a more subdued manner. Had them last evening. They were tied to neuro emotions when I got extremely angry over losing $15 that I won’t get back. I was ripped off and pissed. Thankfully until now, I was mostly able to keep it to myself. It then basically went into how unfair and hopeless it is for me because of my disability income. Every $1 counts. Can’t imagine any normal person getting as angry about not getting such a petty amount of money if they were in a better financial or even mental situation. I’ve been overthinking it tonight and it’s keeping me awake. Last time this happened to me was when a pharmacy employee was being rude to me and lied to me over the phone in December of last year. I was fuming so bad I couldn’t sleep. This was never an issue before SSRI withdrawal. Thankfully it’s been few and far between this year.

 

Other symptoms that continue are sensitive skin. Some of it might be from the lorazepam taper since it only started this year. Excessive  sweating and feeling like I’m being burned by the sun even if it’s cold out. Sensitive to clothing, touching, etc. Since it’s a symptom that really kicked up this year, I’ll assume it’s not related entirely to SSRI. I might have to go join a group for benzo withdrawal. I did stop lorazepam on my own a decade ago. It wasn’t as bad as this, but I’m also a decade older and still recovering from SSRI withdrawal.

 

Otherwise aside from anxiety, lots of confusion and paranoia, I do believe I have improved a bit since I joined here. I hope this continues. 

[DaBro]

I had excessive sweating and Parasthesia 18-20 months after stopping Zoloft (in fact I had few symptoms in the first 12 months). At 20-23 months I had TD and then 23-25 has been neuro emotions. 

 

The upside is my sleeping massively improved at month 24, in fact I’m sleeping 9-10 hours a day, just having loads of emotional guilt trips. 

 

Hopefully this explains your symptoms are just WD and will pass. I’m at 26 months now but think I can see the end of the tunnel ahead.