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Adili13

Adili13: Paxil withdrawal - questions and concerns

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Cocopuffz17
8 minutes ago, Adili13 said:

Yes, I’m very grateful to have the support I do on here from people like you. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!!!! Please stay in touch :). 

Absolutely will do! Remember everyday that passes is one day closer to healing! 

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Adili13

Yes, I have to keep that mindset now more than ever!! 

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sunnysideup69

Hello Adili.

We do have some similarities, different drug. I would say, don't rush your taper, you have time. Give yourself plenty of time to stabilise after each cut, also.I'm not even going to assess whether I'm ready for a taper until minimum six months, could take longer for me because I messed around with drugs and doses. Not stable on Venlafaxine yet, still having some larger swings in symptoms, only really had a two week stint so far where I felt relatively stable and would like to see AT LEAST a month of that kind of thing, preferably two or three months.

We all want to be off, but slowly is the key to getting there and making it permanent :)

Sending good wishes for your continued improvement.

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Adili13

I don’t know how I missed this! Thanks, sunnyside! I’m really happy you’ve seen some improvement! I really appreciate your advice. I also messed around with drugs and doses for quite some time. I’m planning an extended hold as well, minimum six months. My main symptoms are extreme fatigue and depression. It’s very strange how quickly things seems to shift though. One minute, I’m so fed up and tired that I experience SI, the next, it’s like a switch goes off and I’m pretty much ok again. It’s unbelievably bizarre and goes on throughout the day. I guess everyone’s path to stabilization is different. Peace and love to you, good friend! 

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Adili13

Feel hopeless about ever stabilizing. Anyone out there with some healing words? Been wavey all day and my akathisia came back like a week ago. 
 

ant 

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sunnysideup69

Dear @Adili13, don't give up, friend! You will stabilise.

Remember, most people not in WD have fleeting moods during the day.... For us, it's amplified. Most non WD people have times when they can't be bothered, for us it can turn into dark thoughts about pointlessness. I had some myself last week... and just like yours, they came out of the blue and then vanished again. 

Everything is exaggerated in WD. 

It's not you, it's WD, and it's part of stabilising. Even if you tried to block stabilisation, it wouldn't work, because your body is always working towards homeostasis. 

It's super annoying when symptoms return, but they will go again when the necessary repair work has happened. 

I think holding and not rushing sounds like a good idea, it sounds like that's what your CNS is asking for and I think it's good that you're listening. 

Sending love from London. Happy New Year and here's to a heap more healing in 2020.

SSU

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Markolo1980

Hi @Adili13...

 

same here, its been 6 month since last reduction and had a huge wave last night. I’ve never had anxiety that woke me up in the middle of the night. 
 

lets all just hold on....

 

all the best from Ljubljana 

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Adili13

@sunnysideup69 Thank you, my friend. Your words are both helpful and eloquent: I like the idea of homeostasis coming, no matter what we do. Also, the idea that symptoms indicate repair work going on in the background. I truly cherish this advice. Sending love to you from the East coast of the U.S 

 

Happy New Year 

 

Adili 

 

@Markolo1980

 

Thanks for reaching out. So sorry you haven’t stabilized after six months. Keep holding on. I’m sure you will find measures of healing eventually.

 

AD

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sunnysideup69

Thanks for the reminder @Adili13, I'm feeling more chilled now. Nervous systems sure do work mysteriously...Anyway, hope you're doing ok?Feeling any better than you were a couple days ago?

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Adili13

Yeah, it’s truly baffling, isn’t it? I’m happy to hear you’re doing better!! Makes me happy. I’m still pretty destabilized tbh, lotta akathisia and inner tension today. 

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sunnysideup69
Just now, Adili13 said:

Yeah, it’s truly baffling, isn’t it? I’m happy to hear you’re doing better!! Makes me happy. I’m still pretty destabilized tbh, lotta akathisia and inner tension today. 

Honestly, it's so weird, have had real fear today, but it's going now......think my blood sugar levels are a bit wonky. Just keep eating well, drinking water, resting and sleeping, and you'll stabilize. It's a pain, but one day, this is gonna be history ❤️

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Adili13

You’re right, my friend. Yes, diet is so important. I’m always trying to work on eating less bread/wheat, as I’ve heard that can ramp up symptoms for some. 

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Adili13

I feel as though I can't really move or muster any kind of energy due to akathisia lately. It's not the kind of akathisia where I'm driven to movement. It is the kind where my mind is totally blank but this there is a surge of inner tension and horribly uncomfortable energy inside of me. People try to speak to me and I simply don't have the will or the energy to respond. I feel catatonic at times. I also have random shuddering/jerking movements happen throughout the day. This has gone on for a little over a week now and seems similar to when I updosed, aside from the lack of a need to move. It's very strange. It makes me wonder if holding is the right option or if cutting is. I'll hold for some time to see if I improve I guess. If I don't, perhaps I can assume these symptoms are related to the drug itself rather than wd. I guess time will tell.

 

Anthony

I feel as though I can't really move or muster any kind of energy due to akathisia lately. It's not the kind of akathisia where I'm driven to movement. It is the kind where my mind is totally blank but this there is a surge of inner tension and horribly uncomfortable energy inside of me. People try to speak to me and I simply don't have the will or the energy to respond. I feel catatonic at times. I also have random shuddering/jerking movements happen throughout the day. This has gone on for a little over a week now and seems similar to when I updosed, aside from the lack of a need to move. It's very strange. It makes me wonder if holding is the right option or if cutting is. I'll hold for some time to see if I improve I guess. If I don't, perhaps I can assume these symptoms are related to the drug itself rather than wd. I guess time will tell.

 

Anthony

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Adili13

Rough day of symptoms. Lotta anhedonia and flatness in the morning. A couple of brutal neuro-waves of anxiety in the afternoon that left me bed-ridden. Fearing I’ll never stabilize and holding is pointless. Gotta try to get out out that mindset and to see stabilizing as a real possibility. Just venting, any comments are welcome.

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Cocopuffz17
6 hours ago, Adili13 said:

Rough day of symptoms. Lotta anhedonia and flatness in the morning. A couple of brutal neuro-waves of anxiety in the afternoon that left me bed-ridden. Fearing I’ll never stabilize and holding is pointless. Gotta try to get out out that mindset and to see stabilizing as a real possibility. Just venting, any comments are welcome.

Holddddd you will stabilize. It does get better. You do not want to drop and make it more challenging than the situation already is. 

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sunnysideup69
13 hours ago, Adili13 said:

Rough day of symptoms. Lotta anhedonia and flatness in the morning. A couple of brutal neuro-waves of anxiety in the afternoon that left me bed-ridden. Fearing I’ll never stabilize and holding is pointless. Gotta try to get out out that mindset and to see stabilizing as a real possibility. Just venting, any comments are welcome.

You will stabilize, Adili, although I empathise with your thinking you won't. Remember, that's a WD thought too, greatly exaggerated.

Venting is good for you. You are doing the right thing by holding! 

Paxil is a rough one to get off, remember. You're doing well, but your previous cuts have now added up and you need to stay still whilst your CNS catches up. All the anhedonia and anxiety waves show your system is rebalancing. Something I got from Baylissa's website is, when you feel really bad, ESPECIALLY when so, say to yourself, 'This is what healing feels like.' I've found that really helpful.

I'm sorry you're suffering, but you're not alone. We're here ❤️

 

 

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Adili13
6 hours ago, Cocopuffz17 said:

Holddddd you will stabilize. It does get better. You do not want to drop and make it more challenging than the situation already is. 

 Thank you coco. I think you’re definitely right. I appreciate the response. 
 

15 minutes ago, sunnysideup69 said:

You will stabilize, Adili, although I empathise with your thinking you won't. Remember, that's a WD thought too, greatly exaggerated.

Venting is good for you. You are doing the right thing by holding! 

Paxil is a rough one to get off, remember. You're doing well, but your previous cuts have now added up and you need to stay still whilst your CNS catches up. All the anhedonia and anxiety waves show your system is rebalancing. Something I got from Baylissa's website is, when you feel really bad, ESPECIALLY when so, say to yourself, 'This is what healing feels like.' I've found that really helpful.

I'm sorry you're suffering, but you're not alone. We're here ❤️

 

 

Sunnyside,

 

Thank you so much for your reply. It really means a lot to me. I think you’re right about it being a WD though, and that I should try not to take it seriously. Yes, Paxil is no joke! You’re so right about the system balancing itself and all these symptoms showing up being a reflection of that. Yes, baylissa is awesome! Thanks for the suggestion. 
 

I’m also frustrated because I’ve been out of work so long. Almost a year now. I’ve also been tapering the whole time I’ve been out and have been too sick to return. I’m hoping holding will allow me to return in the future. It’s easy to get frustrated and feel like it will never happen though. 
 

thanks for both of your replies my friends 

❤️❤️

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Erell

Stay strong dear Adili, we will get rid of this devil Paxil ❤️

 

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Adili13

Thank you Erell, I appreciate your words. I read a story today of someone not stabilizing after 16 months of holding and I am feeling very triggered. Having a hard time changing my thinking to be more hopeful. Peace and love 

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sunnysideup69
2 minutes ago, Adili13 said:

Thank you Erell, I appreciate your words. I read a story today of someone not stabilizing after 16 months of holding and I am feeling very triggered. Having a hard time changing my thinking to be more hopeful. Peace and love 

The problem with stories like that is, they may well be stabilised now, but not have come back to update. Or, if they are posting the story right now, at 16 months, they will go on to stabilise and may STILL not come back to update.

Don't read the horror stories ;) 

You will heal, your brain and nervous system are doing everything they can to get upregulation going and whatever else needs to happen. It's an annoyingly slow process.

 

It has taken me 18 months to feel more stable, and now I do. So, it's coming! And I bet you won't have to wait that long.

Hang in there, Adili and please don't feed yourself with unhelpful stories. Go listen to Baylissa or find The Lovely Grind on youtube....he's a great Paxil/ Seroxat success story.

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Adili13

Yeah, I guess we all have our own stabilizing timeline.

 

Ok, thank you so much sunnyside. You’re always so helpful and with one comment can’t make me go from feeling totally hopeless to having some hope. I really appreciate you and everyone else on this forum for taking the time to give me thoughtful advice. Thank you, thank you and thank you.

 

 

Adili

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sunnysideup69
4 minutes ago, Adili13 said:

Yeah, I guess we all have our own stabilizing timeline.

 

Ok, thank you so much sunnyside. You’re always so helpful and with one comment can’t make me go from feeling totally hopeless to having some hope. I really appreciate you and everyone else on this forum for taking the time to give me thoughtful advice. Thank you, thank you and thank you.

 

 

Adili

You're welcome, Adili. You're going to be okay. Just hang on in there.

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Adili13
14 minutes ago, sunnysideup69 said:

You're welcome, Adili. You're going to be okay. Just hang on in there.

I will, sunnyside. Thanks for your support. My main goal is to get back to work, at least part-time, by spring. Hopefully I can achieve this, I think it’ll be really beneficial for morale.

 

thanks again 

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Adili13

Akathisia today, just ripping through me. Making me incredibly angry and vengeful. It seems impossible to keep a sound mind during this symptom. 

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Longroadhome

Hi Adili

 

i know exactly what you mean. 
symptoms come they go they mutate and they come back with a vengeance during a wave . This is what I’m finding.
you and I both pooped out from Paxil and both came onto this site because of a fast taper within weeks of each other. 
please know you are not alone and what you are going through is WD and it will end. 
  
keep going. Keep going .  keep going. 
 

you are brave. 

remember what Sunnysideup has said . very wise and true words. 
 

be patient. 


I’m thinking of you . 
 

work with the symptoms present go about your everyday life as best you can. 
 

don’t be afraid to take a closer look at the symptoms you are feeling . Analyse them and learn to except their presence and become less afraid . 
 

read Claire Weeks and her mantra of  “accept float let time pass” towards recovery. 

 

read the windows and waves pattern of recovery. This is us and during a wave we may feel we are getting worse . But that’s our mind working with WD anxiety. Symptoms mean things are slowly adjusting back. 
 

Get yourself  a copy of Baylissa Frederick “Recovery and Renewal “ you probably have a copy already . Read how she recovered and her strong views on recovery for all.,

 

and lastly I know you are going to make it Adili

you have been strong and brave on this journey. Continue to do so my friend and recovery will find you. That’s a promise. 
 

LRH 

 

 

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Adili13

Hi LRH, 

 

I really appreciate you periodically checking in on me and dispensing your wisdom on my wall, it’s truly invaluable. 
 

You’re right, our journeys have many things in common, from the drug we take, to the symptoms we present. 
 

I take everything you say very seriously and will implement all that you have bestowed upon me today. It’s such a blessing to have people that understand and care enough to write beautiful responses like this. 

Windows and waves, you’re absolutely correct. The process of stabilizing is slow and brutal, but it’s much better than a cold turkey or fast taper. 
 

I will absolutely do some Claire weekes’ exercises, get back into baylissa, and try to accept all of my symptoms today. Your advice is as good as gold. 
 

We will all all get to our full health eventually. 

 

Thanks again, good friend. 
 

Anthony 

 

 

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sunnysideup69

You're healing. The waves are an important part of getting well...although I do hate them. 

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Longroadhome

Hi Sunny 

you know what your talking about . You show  great empathy and wisdom. 
LRH  

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sunnysideup69
7 minutes ago, Longroadhome said:

Hi Sunny 

you know what your talking about . You show  great empathy and wisdom. 
LRH  

Thanks LRH, that's very kind of you. Hope you're doing okay :)

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Adili13

LRH, you have those exact qualities you’ve found in sunnyside. Thankful for you both. 
 

We will prevail. 

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Longroadhome

Well it’s no wonder Adili we come from UK !!! 
we do know where yr coming from 

WD is brutal 

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Adili13

Haha, I guess that’s right! I can’t say I know too many from the UK, but those I do are great people! 

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