Sottana: Paxil withdrawal - questions and concerns

[Longroadhome]

28 minutes ago, Adili13 said:

Feeling so afraid and alone tonight, kept up by another wave. This journey feels so pointless and interminable most of the time. I’m so afraid of my inability to bounce back, like this is just what I have to live with. Then the SI sets in. Why keep suffering etc etc. If there is anybody out there tonight, I could really use a friend or some encouragement.

Hello there Adili 

just read your post 

there are times we all feel like this and please know you’re  not alone . 
when you feel

low read a success story and know that recovery will happen for you too

remember it’s about patience

people stress that again and again  and now you know why . It takes as long as it takes and PATIENCE is the KEY that will unlock the door to recovery 

stay strong 

LRH 

[Sottana]

Ok, LRH, you’re right. I’m gonna read one right now. Patience and acceptance are so important. I have to try my best to really limit stress and worrying about when/if I’ll stabilize and if I should just taper etc etc. It doesn’t serve me. Thanks for reaching out, good friend. Couldn’t have asked for a better duo to help me through the night in you and sunnyside haha. 

[Sottana]

Been in bed all day, just got hit by a bad wave. So low. 

[Cocopuffz17]

2 hours ago, Adili13 said:

Been in bed all day, just got hit by a bad wave. So low. 

Keep pushing! It will get better! 

[Sottana]

I was diagnosed with low b12 and d almost a year ago. I’m wondering if I should again try one of these supplements, even tho I am very destabilized. Perhaps try as slow as humanly possible again. What do you guys think? Brands in mind?

[sunnysideup69]

7 hours ago, Adili13 said:

Been in bed all day, just got hit by a bad wave. So low. 

 

This too shall pass.....It is okay to spend all day in bed. Waves are physically as well as mentally exhausting. Rest as much as you need. Remember, this wave will pass like the others have done. Sorry you're suffering, you're not alone. Sending big hugs x

[Sottana]

Thanks good friend! Hugs to you as well! Sunnyside, do you have any vitamin deficiencies? I’m considering giving either b12 or d3 a shot again.

[Longroadhome]

14 minutes ago, Adili13 said:

Thanks good friend! Hugs to you as well! Sunnyside, do you have any vitamin deficiencies? I’m considering giving either b12 or d3 a shot again.

Morning (well it is here in England and I’m sitting in dentist) Adili 

I have Vit D deficiency . Seems to be common in WD. 
ride the wave 🌊 it will go 

and as Sunny says on days like that resting is fine. One day this will all be behind us and we can re join the rat race. 

until then be guided by your body. I am the same some days I can do lots and on others I have to slow down to a snails pace . 
I know it’s hard but keep going 

We’re here for you

socialising and being with people helps me immensely 

LRH

ps I’m doing a very small drop .2 of Paxil  

[Sottana]

Oh, very cool LRH. Good luck on your drop, my friend. Less drug means more healing. I’m gonna wait another few months to gauge improvement. If it’s not there, I might have to start tapering as well. Thanks for being here. 

[sunnysideup69]

Just now, Adili13 said:

Thanks good friend! Hugs to you as well! Sunnyside, do you have any vitamin deficiencies? I’m considering giving either b12 or d3 a shot again.

 

I don't know, to be honest. Have never been tested - perhaps time to give that a go. My diet is quite nutritious...erm...sometimes. Have developed a cake habit these last two weeks.

[Sottana]

Yeah, I’m basically the same way. Try my best, but fail often haha. I eat a lot of nutritious food, but also tend to snack on other food at least a few times a week. 

[Sottana]

Starting on one crumb of b12 today as I wasn’t able to handle it in the past. My levels are low so hoping this could make a difference. 

[apace41]

7 minutes ago, Adili13 said:

Starting on one crumb of b12 today as I wasn’t able to handle it in the past. My levels are low so hoping this could make a difference. 

 

Amazon sells several spray and dropper versions of sublingual B12 that allow for very small decrements.  You might try that, Adili.

 

See for example:

 

 https://www.amazon.com/dp/B015YDVT48/ref=sspa_dk_detail_7?psc=1&pd_rd_i=B015YDVT48&pd_rd_w=kXtMP&pf_rd_p=c83c55b0-5d97-454a-a592-a891098a9709&pd_rd_wg=Bnm8k&pf_rd_r=K6E8QEV1RX37HBR4S7YG&pd_rd_r=f7e573c8-119d-4686-94ba-28421d065f7c&spLa=ZW5jcnlwdGVkUXVhbGlmaWVyPUExVlFBQjNITlZSQkU0JmVuY3J5cHRlZElkPUEwMTU4MzA5MVBZWE1HODQyTEoyUSZlbmNyeXB0ZWRBZElkPUEwNTEzNzY5M0dWTVFIVDk2TkZGTSZ3aWRnZXROYW1lPXNwX2RldGFpbF90aGVtYXRpYyZhY3Rpb249Y2xpY2tSZWRpcmVjdCZkb05vdExvZ0NsaWNrPXRydWU=

 

They call for 5 drops.  If you do 1 or even a half you can test it out.

 

Best,

 

Andy

Edited February 13, 2020 by apace41
missing word

[Sottana]

@apace41

 

I appreciate the suggestion, I will certainly check that out! Hope all is well with you!

 

Anthony 

[Sottana]

Just seems no matter what I do I get worse and more destabilized. Tried b12 again and it wasn’t not made me worse, even in tiny doses. So discouraged. Terrible waves today. Bed-ridden.

[Armorall]

I'm sorry you are feeling so bad. At least with supplements, it seems, the wave caused by them passes quickly. I hope you feel better soon.  

[Sottana]

Thanks Armor, I appreciate it. Just gotta wait for this reaction to ware off. Just very frustrated at the moment. 

[sunnysideup69]

Hey Anthony, it's frustrating when supplements cause us to wobble. It just seems really unfair, on top of the chemical crap from the ads. Like Armorall says above, hopefully this wave will pass quickly. Cheering you on ❤️ 

[Sottana]

Thanks, sunnyside. I’m just back in acute and it’s really terrifying me. Just hope it passes soon. Severe suicidal thinking last few days. 

[Erell]

48 minutes ago, Adili13 said:

 it’s really terrifying me. 

 

Hello adili

I'm sorry for this rough time. 

However you said something very important  (see quote above ) : you have crappy thoughts induced by WD, but what really matter is how we react To these thoughts. 

 

Your suicidal thinking is something created by your destabilised CNS : could you try To tell yourself " Well another symptom of this WD,  I've already survived To this,  let's ignore It" ?

 

Not always easy, but very helpful.

 

Stay strong ❤

[Sottana]

You’re right, my friend! Thank you, @Erell. I appreciate your words. How are you doing? I know you’ve been holding for a while too. 

[Erell]

Yes I'm holding since 5 months now

Not recovered or stable, but feeling much better in general!

 

One thing that helps me : rather than focusing on my symptoms or my frustration, I use timeframes. 

For example, in January I told myself " Well, I'm not going To pay attention To my symptoms or my situation, or what I could do different. I'll just wait and see where I'll be in March"

 

Now we are in March and I tell myself "Well, I'll see this Summer if nothing has improved I Will worry for myself, but for now, I'm just gonna live my life, even if I have symptoms"

 

Good news is as time passes things does improve! And it helps me To go on with my life and take it one day at a time.

 

Hope it can help you 

 

❤

[Sottana]

Hey @Erell,

 

I appreciate that advice and will try to take it to heart. Im a bit disappointed as I feel ive take a severe dip back down after a 10 day trial of b12. I feel I’ve destabilized myself further and am extremely frustrated. Just going to have to wait it out and trust the process I guess. I must admit, though, the whole b12 reaction has me panicking. 
 

[sunnysideup69]

17 hours ago, Adili13 said:

Thanks, sunnyside. I’m just back in acute and it’s really terrifying me. Just hope it passes soon. Severe suicidal thinking last few days. 

Thinking of you, Adili XXX 

[Sottana]

Thank you @sunnysideup69. I appreciate you. 

[Sottana]

crazy waves today. Hoping this b12 experiment didn’t bring me back to square one. Really trying hard to find something to feel good about, something to hold on to.

[Cocopuffz17]

On 3/2/2020 at 5:28 PM, Sottana said:

crazy waves today. Hoping this b12 experiment didn’t bring me back to square one. Really trying hard to find something to feel good about, something to hold on to.

That’s unfortunate. I have been taking 5000 mcg of b12 for over a year now. I have not had any effects. 
 

Be strong you will get through it ! 
 

Everyday that passes is another day closer to being healed! 

[manymoretodays]

On 3/2/2020 at 5:28 PM, Sottana said:

crazy waves today. Hoping this b12 experiment didn’t bring me back to square one. Really trying hard to find something to feel good about, something to hold on to.

 

 

On 2/28/2020 at 8:21 AM, Sottana said:

Just seems no matter what I do I get worse and more destabilized. Tried b12 again and it wasn’t not made me worse, even in tiny doses. So discouraged. Terrible waves today. Bed-ridden.

 

Hi Sottana,

I saw your post over on blanketsareawesome's introduction page today, regarding your B12 experiment.  Was it a mixed B vitamin that you took?  I think, in any case, mixed or reaction/sensitive to even just B12, it should work it's way out fairly quickly.

Beware of mixed supplements however, many do find some of the B Vitamins too stimulating.  There's a whole variety of different B vitamins.

Best to stay with single ingredient supplements, and only add in one at a time.

Go slow, start low too!  So you can determine if you have an untoward reaction and then can know from where it came.

Less is always more in WD, meaning start low, go slow so that if you do experience an untoward reaction, you know where it came from and can quit.

 

Hypersensitive to B vitamins or B vitamin complex?

 

You may want to just stick with trying one or both of the below:

On 1/21/2020 at 9:40 AM, manymoretodays said:

We don't recommend a lot of supplements on SA, as many members report being sensitive to them due to our over-reactive nervous systems, but two supplements that we do recommend are magnesium and omega 3 (fish oil).

 

Magnesium, nature's calcium channel blocker 

Omega-3 fatty acids (fish oil)

 

Just start with one or the other, low dose, and then if tolerated, you can slowly increase to the recommended amounts.  You'll find those in the links.

  If I were you, I think I might start with the Magnesium first.  Look at the link, and then start low, to see how you tolerate it.  I found much relief from Magnesium, both by mouth, or by using the Epsom salts in a warm tub, early on.  It was very relaxing for me.  And still is, when needed.  And then you could slowly try some Omega 3's after you've  gotten adjusted with the Magnesium.  I had to wait a bit, before trying the Fish Oil/omega 3's, as I found it too much for my GI tract initially.

 

And good that you are just HOLDING now, as you seem to be having a lot of WD symptoms.  It can take time, to learn and practice some of the non-drug coping too.  How are you doing with your non-drug coping practices and skill development?  I'm not sure what you've been given, to date, as far as links.  I've got to run now though, so will check back when I can. In the meantime:

Non-drug techniques to cope

^ has a whole indexed list, and links to many things you might try to reduce the fears and anxiety around some of your WD symptoms.  Let us know if you find something that works good for you.  Sometimes, what helps one member, can help another too!  Journaling and watching movies, listening to music, or reading non-withdrawal stuff might work well, if you are still fairly bedridden. 

 

Oh, go look in "Off Topic" too, that's another forum you'll see, once signed in.  Members post favorite music that helps them there, and movies that were tolerated okay........all sorts of tolerable distractions can be found there.

 

Best,

L, P, H, and G,

mmt

(off to vote and then to the mountain for a bit of ski-ing today!!!  Yay)

It always gets better!  That is something that you might hold onto today.

 

[Sottana]

@manymoretodays thanks so much for the detailed reply! I was only trying b12, but I was experimenting with the different forms of the vitamin, i.e. hydroxycobalamin, adeno and methyl. I thought I was having no reaction at all to the adeno, so I quickly titrated up to a full pill. This caused a deep fatigue, so after a bit more experimenting, I stopped. Ever since this, like 4 days ago, symptoms have increased dramatically. I’m already currently taking a magnesium and omega 3 supplement and have been on these for quite some time. 
 

im usually pretty good with the self talk, but have been really bad about it for like 4 days now as a result of the symptom changes. I have a supportive group of ppl around me. @puthappinessfirst, my very good friend, had been helping me quite a bit. My family scheduled an appointment with a therapist for me. It’s been about a year since I’ve seen one, but I’m willing to give it a shot for them. And yes, I’ve been holding for about 4 months.

[manymoretodays]

Sounds good Sottana, the support system you have going. 

I don't know if you found this topic specifically about B12 yet, if not, linking it now:

VitaminB12: essential for mood, nervous system

definitely worth a read, start at the top

 

What symptoms increased dramatically since you stopped B12?

[Sottana]

Hey @manymoretodays, thanks for the reply. Yes, I’ve perused that topic. I know b12 is pretty essential for the body. I also know that those in WD are sensitive to b vitamins and have to start slow when titrating.

 

The depth and severity of my waves have increased dramatically. It’s pretty terrifying. Also headaches, head pressure and tinnitus have all come back. 

[Sottana]

Feeling like all the progress I’ve made in this journey over the past 26 months has suddenly vanished as a result of this b12 reaction. It’s incredibly demoralizing and terrifying. Could use a helping hand from anyone out there. 

[manymoretodays]

Hi Sottana,

It could be a bit of a late wave too Adili.  I had some of those.

The Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

 

On 3/4/2020 at 9:58 AM, Adili13 said:

The depth and severity of my waves have increased dramatically. It’s pretty terrifying. Also headaches, head pressure and tinnitus have all come back. 

 

And yup, those were the kind of symptoms I had, while in waves.  And then they would be gone again, with the next window.  Healing is unfortunately not all linear.  Wouldn't that be nice.

 

Windows and waves occur in a stair-step pattern, with a general upwards trend.

 

                                        After a year, a little better.

Awful

 

Are the waves any better, in terms of intensity now?

 

And here's another one:

Just click on the arrow in the top right, and you'll see another visual representation of healing.

 

Sottana, We always say too, if you haven't heard it yet, that.........when the worst waves hit, sometimes that means we are healing that much more.

 

Your progress hasn't vanished......hoping you'll be out of this wave real soon.  How long has it been going on?

 

Best, L, P, H, and G,

mmt

[Sottana]

Thanks manymore, I like what you said about how it might mean even more healing. It’s been like 9 days since my dip. 

[sunnysideup69]

On 3/7/2020 at 5:22 PM, Adili13 said:

Feeling like all the progress I’ve made in this journey over the past 26 months has suddenly vanished as a result of this b12 reaction. It’s incredibly demoralizing and terrifying. Could use a helping hand from anyone out there. 

 

@Sottana, totally understand you feeling like that, but remember, that's the WD brain doing some catastrophising. I've also dipped over the last 8 days and my brain was playing the same trick.

 

The b12 reaction has set off a wave, but it hasn't set you back to the beginning. It's a temporary glitch and it will be over, hopefully soon. Your CNS is sensitive. I set mine off by consuming too much sugar over a couple of weeks and then stopping suddenly....we are just very sensitised in WD. You're not broken. The wave will go away agin.

Sending good vibes, A....you've got this ❤️ 

[Sottana]

@sunnysideup69 thanks for reaching out. Your words always carry a lot of weight. I appreciate you. I hope we both start feeling better soon! 

❤️❤️❤️