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Adili13: Paxil withdrawal - questions and concerns

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brassmonkey

It has been removed temporarily while we update it. It should be back up in a few days. 


20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013.

Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks.  The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better.

Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017

 

"It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general."  Stephen Hawking

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Adili13

Still feeling pretty terribly. So hard to change your mindset when the symptoms are just dominating you day in and day out.


2008: start Lexapro 10 mg which is quickly upped to 20 mg. 2008:2013 try at least four individual times to get off Lexapro, never get lower than 5mg, settle at 15 mg. 2015: again, attempt to get off Lexapro and get to 5 mg. After 6 months, feel i'm stabilizing but go back on a higher dose because of one stressful event. 2016: go to 20 mg from 15 mg due to work stresses, hit severe tolerance for the first time and become very suicidal. 2016-2017: try viibryd and cymbata in an attempt to feel better. Also add Lamictal 150 at some point. 2017: eventually land on paxil 37.5 and Lamictal 150. January 2018: cut paxil to 25. April-July 2018: reduce Lamictal in 50 mg increments till im off August. 2018: reduce paxil to 20 mg. december 2018: dropped Paxil to 18 mg, SEVERE CRASH. March updosed to 20 mg April 11: dropped to 19.4 mg due to akathsia (still experiencing akathsia symptoms from updose) April 20: 19 mg Paxil May 4: 18.7 Paxil July 5: 18.2 July 12: 17.8 Aug 19: 17.5 Aug 26: 17.3 Oct 20: 17.1 Nov 3: 16.9, 8/17/20: 16.6 after nine month hold, 8/24/20: 16.4, 8/31/20:16.2, 9/14/2020: 16.0, 9/21/20: 15.8

 

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Longroadhome
9 hours ago, Adili13 said:

Still feeling pretty terribly. So hard to change your mindset when the symptoms are just dominating you day in and day out.

Know how you feel Adili and my thoughts are with you 

sometimes it’s so hard and it’s ok to feel beaten as long as you get up tomorrow dust  yourself down and start again. 
we all have times of despair 
So, come tomorrow want you up and keeping busy and telling yourself a window awaits you very shortly 

say it and mean it 

because it’s true after a wave a window awaits 

LRH 


October 2004 -  October 2018 Paxil 20mg

October 2018 - November 2018 15mg Paxil 

Nov 2018 -  2x50 mg Pregabalin to help with Paxil WD

December 2018 - January 2019 10mg Paxil  

January 2019 - February 2019  7.5mg Paxil crashed 

February 2019 - 8.5mg Paxil

August 2019 - stopped both meds for 2.5 days meltdown 

August 2019 -  daily: 50mg Pregabalin April 2020 45mg May 40mg June 35mg, beg July 30mg, end July 25mg

Nov 2019 - 8mg Paxil, March 2020 7.2mg April 6.5mg May 5.9mg June 5.4mg July 4.8mg

 

these dates are approximate 

 

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Hanna72
3 minutes ago, Longroadhome said:

because it’s true after a wave a window awaits

That’s so true. 
Our brains need to stabilise and repair after years on these meds. 
Take care🙏



2000/ got 20mg Paxil  for panic attacks. Many attempts to quit through out the years, without any success.

2019- January started tapering Paxil, 2019-October 10 mg Paxil , getting ready for a bridge with 10 mg Prozac  Took about 1 month during switch. Done with Paxil 2019/ November started tapering 20 mg Prozac  .Took alcohol and coffee out.2019/December 8 mg Prozac 

2020/January 4 mg Prozac 

2020/15/3 .09 mg jumped off

2020 March 16 off Prozac  Quetipine 25 mg used 1 time in 15 months, oxezapam 15 mg used 5 times 

Suppliments: Magnesium, omega 3 fish oil ( epa&dha) D vitamin 

“The two most powerful warriors are patience and time” Leo Tolstoy 

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Adili13

@Longroadhome yeah I’m just feeling so desperate again  and wondering if it’s still the reaction or what. I don’t know up from down, friend. Appreciate you. 
 

@Hanna72 appreciate your comment and support friend. 


2008: start Lexapro 10 mg which is quickly upped to 20 mg. 2008:2013 try at least four individual times to get off Lexapro, never get lower than 5mg, settle at 15 mg. 2015: again, attempt to get off Lexapro and get to 5 mg. After 6 months, feel i'm stabilizing but go back on a higher dose because of one stressful event. 2016: go to 20 mg from 15 mg due to work stresses, hit severe tolerance for the first time and become very suicidal. 2016-2017: try viibryd and cymbata in an attempt to feel better. Also add Lamictal 150 at some point. 2017: eventually land on paxil 37.5 and Lamictal 150. January 2018: cut paxil to 25. April-July 2018: reduce Lamictal in 50 mg increments till im off August. 2018: reduce paxil to 20 mg. december 2018: dropped Paxil to 18 mg, SEVERE CRASH. March updosed to 20 mg April 11: dropped to 19.4 mg due to akathsia (still experiencing akathsia symptoms from updose) April 20: 19 mg Paxil May 4: 18.7 Paxil July 5: 18.2 July 12: 17.8 Aug 19: 17.5 Aug 26: 17.3 Oct 20: 17.1 Nov 3: 16.9, 8/17/20: 16.6 after nine month hold, 8/24/20: 16.4, 8/31/20:16.2, 9/14/2020: 16.0, 9/21/20: 15.8

 

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sunnysideup69
19 hours ago, Adili13 said:

Still feeling pretty terribly. So hard to change your mindset when the symptoms are just dominating you day in and day out.

 

Sorry to hear this @Adili13. Praying for a window for you soon. This battle is one that can make us extremely weary- I have seen it called battle fatigue on here a few times and that's accurate.

You're still healing, remember.

Ten months ago today, I switched drug, making myself feel worse. It has taken ten months of ups and downs to begin feeling somewhat normal again. I am definitely not my 'best self' yet. I know you know this, but I'm reminding you, it takes TIME to settle so that you feel even a bit okay. It's seven months since you crashed, that probably seems like forever, but it's still within a completely normal time range to re stabilise.

Sending you virtual hugs xxx


January 2008 to April 2015 Citalopram 20mg to 5mg, reducing in 50 per cent leaps. Jumped off at 5mg

March 2016 used MDMA triggered setback

April 2016 Citalopram 10mg October 2016 cut to 5mg, May 2017 cut to 2.5mg

May 2018 used MDMA triggered setback

June 2018 Citalopram 2.5mg up to 10mg, then back to 5mg

July/ August 2018 7.5mg, then 10mg

June 2019 updosed to 20mg Citalopram

August 2019 cold switch to Venlafaxine 75mg XR

 

 

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Adili13

You’re right about stabilization @sunnysideup69. Thank you for this message. It lifted my spirits a bit and made me feel a little hopeful this morning. 
 

xxx


2008: start Lexapro 10 mg which is quickly upped to 20 mg. 2008:2013 try at least four individual times to get off Lexapro, never get lower than 5mg, settle at 15 mg. 2015: again, attempt to get off Lexapro and get to 5 mg. After 6 months, feel i'm stabilizing but go back on a higher dose because of one stressful event. 2016: go to 20 mg from 15 mg due to work stresses, hit severe tolerance for the first time and become very suicidal. 2016-2017: try viibryd and cymbata in an attempt to feel better. Also add Lamictal 150 at some point. 2017: eventually land on paxil 37.5 and Lamictal 150. January 2018: cut paxil to 25. April-July 2018: reduce Lamictal in 50 mg increments till im off August. 2018: reduce paxil to 20 mg. december 2018: dropped Paxil to 18 mg, SEVERE CRASH. March updosed to 20 mg April 11: dropped to 19.4 mg due to akathsia (still experiencing akathsia symptoms from updose) April 20: 19 mg Paxil May 4: 18.7 Paxil July 5: 18.2 July 12: 17.8 Aug 19: 17.5 Aug 26: 17.3 Oct 20: 17.1 Nov 3: 16.9, 8/17/20: 16.6 after nine month hold, 8/24/20: 16.4, 8/31/20:16.2, 9/14/2020: 16.0, 9/21/20: 15.8

 

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sunnysideup69
10 minutes ago, Adili13 said:

You’re right about stabilization @sunnysideup69. Thank you for this message. It lifted my spirits a bit and made me feel a little hopeful this morning. 
 

xxx

 

Good! You will recover xxx


January 2008 to April 2015 Citalopram 20mg to 5mg, reducing in 50 per cent leaps. Jumped off at 5mg

March 2016 used MDMA triggered setback

April 2016 Citalopram 10mg October 2016 cut to 5mg, May 2017 cut to 2.5mg

May 2018 used MDMA triggered setback

June 2018 Citalopram 2.5mg up to 10mg, then back to 5mg

July/ August 2018 7.5mg, then 10mg

June 2019 updosed to 20mg Citalopram

August 2019 cold switch to Venlafaxine 75mg XR

 

 

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Longroadhome
8 hours ago, Adili13 said:

@Longroadhome yeah I’m just feeling so desperate again  and wondering if it’s still the reaction or what. I don’t know up from down, friend. Appreciate you. 
 

@Hanna72 appreciate your comment and support friend. 

You’re welcome

you and I found  SA around the same time. 
we both have Paxil background 
we were both in poop out before we started tapering 

we have never been without symptoms despite long  holds 

you are holding and experiencing symptoms 

I am tapering and experiencing symptoms

During my hold I constantly questioned whether poop out was giving me symptoms or the fast taper I originally did?
I alternated between thinking it was one and then the other? This caused me additional stress to a point I felt I had to make a decision, continue holding or start to taper ?

as I detested continuing to put Paxil in my body and the torment this caused me I decided to start tapering again

i haven’t regretted this decision as the symptoms are no different except for the anxiety which peaks towards the end of each months drop
the two week hold starts to see it settle and I’m off again doing the 2.5% x4 Week drop 
we all choose the path we walk. It takes courage to hold and courage to taper. 
I accept the symptoms and look towards my end goal of being Paxil free you have chose to hold and because of this you have to try and accept the way you feel and know in your heart you will stabilise. 
you will I know this. 
 

We have taken this medicine for years it has changed our receptors and they are healing but struggling at the same time . 
It took a long  time for our brain chemistry to change and it’s going to take considerable time for it to change back. But change back it will. 
you and I have walked this path for 16 months and we have experienced healing over this period even if we don’t feel we have . Who’d have thought at the beginning of this journey we would have been brave enough to walk the WD path for 16 months !!! 
we can do the same again if we have to 
keep going Adili 

 

I have your hand And you’re   coming with me to the finish line . 
 

today is another day to tick off on the calendar 

 

 

  

 

  

 


October 2004 -  October 2018 Paxil 20mg

October 2018 - November 2018 15mg Paxil 

Nov 2018 -  2x50 mg Pregabalin to help with Paxil WD

December 2018 - January 2019 10mg Paxil  

January 2019 - February 2019  7.5mg Paxil crashed 

February 2019 - 8.5mg Paxil

August 2019 - stopped both meds for 2.5 days meltdown 

August 2019 -  daily: 50mg Pregabalin April 2020 45mg May 40mg June 35mg, beg July 30mg, end July 25mg

Nov 2019 - 8mg Paxil, March 2020 7.2mg April 6.5mg May 5.9mg June 5.4mg July 4.8mg

 

these dates are approximate 

 

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Adili13

@Longroadhome that was truly beautiful. Thank you so much, my friend. I’m truly grateful for you and your words of wisdom. Everything you said makes me feel comfortable and relaxed for a moment. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

 

More  healing is coming

 

xxxxxx


2008: start Lexapro 10 mg which is quickly upped to 20 mg. 2008:2013 try at least four individual times to get off Lexapro, never get lower than 5mg, settle at 15 mg. 2015: again, attempt to get off Lexapro and get to 5 mg. After 6 months, feel i'm stabilizing but go back on a higher dose because of one stressful event. 2016: go to 20 mg from 15 mg due to work stresses, hit severe tolerance for the first time and become very suicidal. 2016-2017: try viibryd and cymbata in an attempt to feel better. Also add Lamictal 150 at some point. 2017: eventually land on paxil 37.5 and Lamictal 150. January 2018: cut paxil to 25. April-July 2018: reduce Lamictal in 50 mg increments till im off August. 2018: reduce paxil to 20 mg. december 2018: dropped Paxil to 18 mg, SEVERE CRASH. March updosed to 20 mg April 11: dropped to 19.4 mg due to akathsia (still experiencing akathsia symptoms from updose) April 20: 19 mg Paxil May 4: 18.7 Paxil July 5: 18.2 July 12: 17.8 Aug 19: 17.5 Aug 26: 17.3 Oct 20: 17.1 Nov 3: 16.9, 8/17/20: 16.6 after nine month hold, 8/24/20: 16.4, 8/31/20:16.2, 9/14/2020: 16.0, 9/21/20: 15.8

 

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Adili13

I don’t understand why my symptoms are so all over the place with seemingly no end to their variety and ability to morph and change on a minute-to-minute basis. Head pressure, to severe anxiety, to total anhedonia, to agitation. Is it possible that my symptoms are still this severe from the cooked wine I used nearly 5 weeks ago? The SI is creeping in and making me think desperate thoughts. I just don’t understand what I have to do to get it all to calm down even 10 percent. It’s unreal. 


2008: start Lexapro 10 mg which is quickly upped to 20 mg. 2008:2013 try at least four individual times to get off Lexapro, never get lower than 5mg, settle at 15 mg. 2015: again, attempt to get off Lexapro and get to 5 mg. After 6 months, feel i'm stabilizing but go back on a higher dose because of one stressful event. 2016: go to 20 mg from 15 mg due to work stresses, hit severe tolerance for the first time and become very suicidal. 2016-2017: try viibryd and cymbata in an attempt to feel better. Also add Lamictal 150 at some point. 2017: eventually land on paxil 37.5 and Lamictal 150. January 2018: cut paxil to 25. April-July 2018: reduce Lamictal in 50 mg increments till im off August. 2018: reduce paxil to 20 mg. december 2018: dropped Paxil to 18 mg, SEVERE CRASH. March updosed to 20 mg April 11: dropped to 19.4 mg due to akathsia (still experiencing akathsia symptoms from updose) April 20: 19 mg Paxil May 4: 18.7 Paxil July 5: 18.2 July 12: 17.8 Aug 19: 17.5 Aug 26: 17.3 Oct 20: 17.1 Nov 3: 16.9, 8/17/20: 16.6 after nine month hold, 8/24/20: 16.4, 8/31/20:16.2, 9/14/2020: 16.0, 9/21/20: 15.8

 

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Longroadhome
2 hours ago, Adili13 said:

I don’t understand why my symptoms are so all over the place with seemingly no end to their variety and ability to morph and change on a minute-to-minute basis. Head pressure, to severe anxiety, to total anhedonia, to agitation. Is it possible that my symptoms are still this severe from the cooked wine I used nearly 5 weeks ago? The SI is creeping in and making me think desperate thoughts. I just don’t understand what I have to do to get it all to calm down even 10 percent. It’s unreal. 


October 2004 -  October 2018 Paxil 20mg

October 2018 - November 2018 15mg Paxil 

Nov 2018 -  2x50 mg Pregabalin to help with Paxil WD

December 2018 - January 2019 10mg Paxil  

January 2019 - February 2019  7.5mg Paxil crashed 

February 2019 - 8.5mg Paxil

August 2019 - stopped both meds for 2.5 days meltdown 

August 2019 -  daily: 50mg Pregabalin April 2020 45mg May 40mg June 35mg, beg July 30mg, end July 25mg

Nov 2019 - 8mg Paxil, March 2020 7.2mg April 6.5mg May 5.9mg June 5.4mg July 4.8mg

 

these dates are approximate 

 

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Longroadhome
Just now, Longroadhome said:
2 hours ago, Adili13 said:

I don’t understand why my symptoms are so all over the place with seemingly no end to their variety and ability to morph and change on a minute-to-minute basis. Head pressure, to severe anxiety, to total anhedonia, to agitation. Is it possible that my symptoms are still this severe from the cooked wine I used nearly 5 weeks ago? The SI is creeping in and making me think desperate thoughts. I just don’t understand what I have to do to get it all to calm down even 10 percent. It’s unreal. 

Adili ask Altostrata 

she is great at finding out why we are getting certain symptoms at certain times 

she may make you write down what you do throughout the day at what times etc etc then she will pick it apart to find out what may be causing your symptoms 

let me know how you go

stay strong it will get better  


October 2004 -  October 2018 Paxil 20mg

October 2018 - November 2018 15mg Paxil 

Nov 2018 -  2x50 mg Pregabalin to help with Paxil WD

December 2018 - January 2019 10mg Paxil  

January 2019 - February 2019  7.5mg Paxil crashed 

February 2019 - 8.5mg Paxil

August 2019 - stopped both meds for 2.5 days meltdown 

August 2019 -  daily: 50mg Pregabalin April 2020 45mg May 40mg June 35mg, beg July 30mg, end July 25mg

Nov 2019 - 8mg Paxil, March 2020 7.2mg April 6.5mg May 5.9mg June 5.4mg July 4.8mg

 

these dates are approximate 

 

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Adili13

@Longroadhome

ok, I’ll tag her. Thanks friend.

 

@Altostrata Longroad suggested I tag you and potentially start doing a daily symptom review with time stamps of different symptoms. Please let me know if this would be appropriate and I’ll start doing this tomorrow. I appreciate you and all of your hard work. I know the site and it’s moderators are a bit overwhelmed at the moment, so I totally understand if it’s not the right time for this. 


2008: start Lexapro 10 mg which is quickly upped to 20 mg. 2008:2013 try at least four individual times to get off Lexapro, never get lower than 5mg, settle at 15 mg. 2015: again, attempt to get off Lexapro and get to 5 mg. After 6 months, feel i'm stabilizing but go back on a higher dose because of one stressful event. 2016: go to 20 mg from 15 mg due to work stresses, hit severe tolerance for the first time and become very suicidal. 2016-2017: try viibryd and cymbata in an attempt to feel better. Also add Lamictal 150 at some point. 2017: eventually land on paxil 37.5 and Lamictal 150. January 2018: cut paxil to 25. April-July 2018: reduce Lamictal in 50 mg increments till im off August. 2018: reduce paxil to 20 mg. december 2018: dropped Paxil to 18 mg, SEVERE CRASH. March updosed to 20 mg April 11: dropped to 19.4 mg due to akathsia (still experiencing akathsia symptoms from updose) April 20: 19 mg Paxil May 4: 18.7 Paxil July 5: 18.2 July 12: 17.8 Aug 19: 17.5 Aug 26: 17.3 Oct 20: 17.1 Nov 3: 16.9, 8/17/20: 16.6 after nine month hold, 8/24/20: 16.4, 8/31/20:16.2, 9/14/2020: 16.0, 9/21/20: 15.8

 

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Hanna72
4 hours ago, Adili13 said:

. I just don’t understand what I have to do to get it all to calm down even 10 percent. It’s unreal. 

Hey @Adili13 Sorry to hear about your struggles. This process is the hardest I have faced in many years. My symptoms can change also from minutes to hours, just in one day. I have found that taking a walk helps to calm me down, just a slow stroll around the neighbourhood and focusing on my breath and looking at my surroundings. Even though it’s just for a few minutes, just getting out and breathing in fresh air has helped me to calm down.

Hugs to you💖

 



2000/ got 20mg Paxil  for panic attacks. Many attempts to quit through out the years, without any success.

2019- January started tapering Paxil, 2019-October 10 mg Paxil , getting ready for a bridge with 10 mg Prozac  Took about 1 month during switch. Done with Paxil 2019/ November started tapering 20 mg Prozac  .Took alcohol and coffee out.2019/December 8 mg Prozac 

2020/January 4 mg Prozac 

2020/15/3 .09 mg jumped off

2020 March 16 off Prozac  Quetipine 25 mg used 1 time in 15 months, oxezapam 15 mg used 5 times 

Suppliments: Magnesium, omega 3 fish oil ( epa&dha) D vitamin 

“The two most powerful warriors are patience and time” Leo Tolstoy 

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sunnysideup69
5 hours ago, Adili13 said:

I don’t understand why my symptoms are so all over the place with seemingly no end to their variety and ability to morph and change on a minute-to-minute basis. Head pressure, to severe anxiety, to total anhedonia, to agitation. Is it possible that my symptoms are still this severe from the cooked wine I used nearly 5 weeks ago? The SI is creeping in and making me think desperate thoughts. I just don’t understand what I have to do to get it all to calm down even 10 percent. It’s unreal. 

 

Your symptoms could have been triggered by that and morphed into a wave. Wherever they are coming from, the answer is the same; treating yourself really gently. Are you getting fresh air, going out for a walk? Are you getting any people contact, even if it's just for a little while? Nutrition, regular bedtime, yoga? I think lockdown has made a lot of people's symptoms increase, also...

You're gonna get through this, friend. It will calm down again.Sending you a virtual hug and some support from London.


January 2008 to April 2015 Citalopram 20mg to 5mg, reducing in 50 per cent leaps. Jumped off at 5mg

March 2016 used MDMA triggered setback

April 2016 Citalopram 10mg October 2016 cut to 5mg, May 2017 cut to 2.5mg

May 2018 used MDMA triggered setback

June 2018 Citalopram 2.5mg up to 10mg, then back to 5mg

July/ August 2018 7.5mg, then 10mg

June 2019 updosed to 20mg Citalopram

August 2019 cold switch to Venlafaxine 75mg XR

 

 

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Altostrata

Hello, Adili.

 

Do your symptoms follow any daily pattern?  Are they better or worse at any time of day? Please keep daily notes on paper about your symptoms, when you take your drugs, and their dosages. Use a simple list format with time of day on the left and notation (symptom, drug and dosage) on the right.

 

How's your sleep? Have you skipped any doses, had any alcohol, or taken antibiotics or other additional drugs in the last year or so? How much caffeine do you ingest each day?

 


This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

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Adili13

@Hanna72 I so appreciate your advice and words of goodwill. I do take a walk every day and it definitely does help a tiny bit. I hope we both find continued relief. 
 

@sunnysideup69 Thanks, bud! I’d say I’m doing essentially everything you said with the exception of a regular bedtime. My sleep is wonky, but I mostly blame symptoms or that. All that being said, I could probably use a little less screen time and could push to be with people a tiny bit more. I spend a minimal amount of time with people or talking to people almost every day. It certainly isn’t enough. It’s difficult for me to be around anyone for too long though. Appreciate your words, as always. <3333


2008: start Lexapro 10 mg which is quickly upped to 20 mg. 2008:2013 try at least four individual times to get off Lexapro, never get lower than 5mg, settle at 15 mg. 2015: again, attempt to get off Lexapro and get to 5 mg. After 6 months, feel i'm stabilizing but go back on a higher dose because of one stressful event. 2016: go to 20 mg from 15 mg due to work stresses, hit severe tolerance for the first time and become very suicidal. 2016-2017: try viibryd and cymbata in an attempt to feel better. Also add Lamictal 150 at some point. 2017: eventually land on paxil 37.5 and Lamictal 150. January 2018: cut paxil to 25. April-July 2018: reduce Lamictal in 50 mg increments till im off August. 2018: reduce paxil to 20 mg. december 2018: dropped Paxil to 18 mg, SEVERE CRASH. March updosed to 20 mg April 11: dropped to 19.4 mg due to akathsia (still experiencing akathsia symptoms from updose) April 20: 19 mg Paxil May 4: 18.7 Paxil July 5: 18.2 July 12: 17.8 Aug 19: 17.5 Aug 26: 17.3 Oct 20: 17.1 Nov 3: 16.9, 8/17/20: 16.6 after nine month hold, 8/24/20: 16.4, 8/31/20:16.2, 9/14/2020: 16.0, 9/21/20: 15.8

 

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sunnysideup69

@Adili13, did you see Alto's reply to you above? Honestly, it's worth keeping up the daily notes for a while. 

 

Yes, I thought you were doing lots of things to help yourself. I know how it feels to be doing self care and feeling it isn't 'working'....but I do think it's like paying down insurance for a future date. It's not in vain. I also understand about being around people and how it can be kind of difficult, I have days where I find it exhausting, and I really can't stand being around people who are whining about nothing. I feel like saying 'try going through WD!' I also find people who are loud quite tiring. One day, all of that will be easily tolerable again, for all of us. Am also having a few fed up days over here. Hang in there, Adili :) 

 

I'm going to encourage you to do those daily notes for now.

xxx

 

 


January 2008 to April 2015 Citalopram 20mg to 5mg, reducing in 50 per cent leaps. Jumped off at 5mg

March 2016 used MDMA triggered setback

April 2016 Citalopram 10mg October 2016 cut to 5mg, May 2017 cut to 2.5mg

May 2018 used MDMA triggered setback

June 2018 Citalopram 2.5mg up to 10mg, then back to 5mg

July/ August 2018 7.5mg, then 10mg

June 2019 updosed to 20mg Citalopram

August 2019 cold switch to Venlafaxine 75mg XR

 

 

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Adili13

@sunnysideup69 I know! Withdrawal has certainly made me more irritable and generally less tolerable of people. You’re right though, about paying dividends in the way of taking care of myself now for a future date. I think that’s a great point. I did see her post but didn’t take notes yesterday. I’m going to take notes today with times and tag her tomorrow morning or tonight. I will absolutely keep up with it :). Thank you!!!! Xxxx


2008: start Lexapro 10 mg which is quickly upped to 20 mg. 2008:2013 try at least four individual times to get off Lexapro, never get lower than 5mg, settle at 15 mg. 2015: again, attempt to get off Lexapro and get to 5 mg. After 6 months, feel i'm stabilizing but go back on a higher dose because of one stressful event. 2016: go to 20 mg from 15 mg due to work stresses, hit severe tolerance for the first time and become very suicidal. 2016-2017: try viibryd and cymbata in an attempt to feel better. Also add Lamictal 150 at some point. 2017: eventually land on paxil 37.5 and Lamictal 150. January 2018: cut paxil to 25. April-July 2018: reduce Lamictal in 50 mg increments till im off August. 2018: reduce paxil to 20 mg. december 2018: dropped Paxil to 18 mg, SEVERE CRASH. March updosed to 20 mg April 11: dropped to 19.4 mg due to akathsia (still experiencing akathsia symptoms from updose) April 20: 19 mg Paxil May 4: 18.7 Paxil July 5: 18.2 July 12: 17.8 Aug 19: 17.5 Aug 26: 17.3 Oct 20: 17.1 Nov 3: 16.9, 8/17/20: 16.6 after nine month hold, 8/24/20: 16.4, 8/31/20:16.2, 9/14/2020: 16.0, 9/21/20: 15.8

 

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Adili13

@Altostrata responding to your response to me:

 

first, I want to answer your questions at the bottom of your post, then I’ll do my daily notes. 
 

My sleep is very inconsistent, but on average, I get more than 8 hours a day. I often fall asleep at stable hours and nap throughout the day, though. 

 

No caffeine. About 5 weeks ago I cooked with alcohol and all of symptoms got dramatically worse. I’m still suffering from this reaction. I felt like I was starting to make some small progress prior to that reaction. Here are my notes 

 

6/17/20

 

5:30 am - took 16.9 mg of my mixture that I create.

6:20 am -7:30 am - intense anxiety, head pain and tinnitus. Fell back asleep. 
10:00 am - woke up to dizziness and head pressure. Went for a walk. 
11:00-1230 - deep flatness and anhedonia with depression 

3 - unbelievable exhaustion, fall back asleep 

6:30 - wake up to dizziness and head pressure

8:30 dinner - deep paralyzing fatigue and exhaustion till bedtime at around 10:30. 
 

only supplements are fish oil and two caps of apple cider vinegar for reflux. 
 

thanks for help! 


2008: start Lexapro 10 mg which is quickly upped to 20 mg. 2008:2013 try at least four individual times to get off Lexapro, never get lower than 5mg, settle at 15 mg. 2015: again, attempt to get off Lexapro and get to 5 mg. After 6 months, feel i'm stabilizing but go back on a higher dose because of one stressful event. 2016: go to 20 mg from 15 mg due to work stresses, hit severe tolerance for the first time and become very suicidal. 2016-2017: try viibryd and cymbata in an attempt to feel better. Also add Lamictal 150 at some point. 2017: eventually land on paxil 37.5 and Lamictal 150. January 2018: cut paxil to 25. April-July 2018: reduce Lamictal in 50 mg increments till im off August. 2018: reduce paxil to 20 mg. december 2018: dropped Paxil to 18 mg, SEVERE CRASH. March updosed to 20 mg April 11: dropped to 19.4 mg due to akathsia (still experiencing akathsia symptoms from updose) April 20: 19 mg Paxil May 4: 18.7 Paxil July 5: 18.2 July 12: 17.8 Aug 19: 17.5 Aug 26: 17.3 Oct 20: 17.1 Nov 3: 16.9, 8/17/20: 16.6 after nine month hold, 8/24/20: 16.4, 8/31/20:16.2, 9/14/2020: 16.0, 9/21/20: 15.8

 

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Adili13

@Altostrata I actually reintroduced the apple cider vinegar to help with my reflux only yesterday. I’d stopped because I was trying out a low histamine diet. Yesterday, I noticed headaches, dizziness and fatigue increased after adding the acv, but that it immediately cured my reflux. It makes me think perhaps I do have this histamine issue. Obviously, it’s just speculation. It just stinks because it’s so helpful with reflux. It’s really the only thing I’ve tried that really helped.

 

 


2008: start Lexapro 10 mg which is quickly upped to 20 mg. 2008:2013 try at least four individual times to get off Lexapro, never get lower than 5mg, settle at 15 mg. 2015: again, attempt to get off Lexapro and get to 5 mg. After 6 months, feel i'm stabilizing but go back on a higher dose because of one stressful event. 2016: go to 20 mg from 15 mg due to work stresses, hit severe tolerance for the first time and become very suicidal. 2016-2017: try viibryd and cymbata in an attempt to feel better. Also add Lamictal 150 at some point. 2017: eventually land on paxil 37.5 and Lamictal 150. January 2018: cut paxil to 25. April-July 2018: reduce Lamictal in 50 mg increments till im off August. 2018: reduce paxil to 20 mg. december 2018: dropped Paxil to 18 mg, SEVERE CRASH. March updosed to 20 mg April 11: dropped to 19.4 mg due to akathsia (still experiencing akathsia symptoms from updose) April 20: 19 mg Paxil May 4: 18.7 Paxil July 5: 18.2 July 12: 17.8 Aug 19: 17.5 Aug 26: 17.3 Oct 20: 17.1 Nov 3: 16.9, 8/17/20: 16.6 after nine month hold, 8/24/20: 16.4, 8/31/20:16.2, 9/14/2020: 16.0, 9/21/20: 15.8

 

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Longroadhome
3 minutes ago, Adili13 said:

@Altostrata I actually reintroduced the apple cider vinegar to help with my reflux only yesterday. I’d stopped because I was trying out a low histamine diet. Yesterday, I noticed headaches, dizziness and fatigue increased after adding the acv, but that it immediately cured my reflux. It makes me think perhaps I do have this histamine issue. Obviously, it’s just speculation. It just stinks because it’s so helpful with reflux. It’s really the only thing I’ve tried that really helped.

 

 

Thinking of you today Adili 

Alto will be able to help you I’m sure 

stay positive x


October 2004 -  October 2018 Paxil 20mg

October 2018 - November 2018 15mg Paxil 

Nov 2018 -  2x50 mg Pregabalin to help with Paxil WD

December 2018 - January 2019 10mg Paxil  

January 2019 - February 2019  7.5mg Paxil crashed 

February 2019 - 8.5mg Paxil

August 2019 - stopped both meds for 2.5 days meltdown 

August 2019 -  daily: 50mg Pregabalin April 2020 45mg May 40mg June 35mg, beg July 30mg, end July 25mg

Nov 2019 - 8mg Paxil, March 2020 7.2mg April 6.5mg May 5.9mg June 5.4mg July 4.8mg

 

these dates are approximate 

 

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Altostrata
12 hours ago, Adili13 said:

6/17/20

 

5:30 am - took 16.9 mg of my mixture that I create.

6:20 am -7:30 am - intense anxiety, head pain and tinnitus. Fell back asleep. 
10:00 am - woke up to dizziness and head pressure. Went for a walk. 
11:00-1230 - deep flatness and anhedonia with depression 

3 - unbelievable exhaustion, fall back asleep 

6:30 - wake up to dizziness and head pressure

8:30 dinner - deep paralyzing fatigue and exhaustion till bedtime at around 10:30. 

 

What mixture?

 

What drugs are you taking now? Please update your signature.

 

You fall asleep at 3 p.m. in the afternoon? What is your sleep schedule?


This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

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Adili13

@Altostrata my signature is up to date. I’m on 16.9 mg of paroxetine. By mixture I just meant my mixture of suspending liquid, water, and drug to get my correct dosage. 
 

yes, I fell asleep at 3 o’clock for a few hours yesterday. 
 

i don’t have a consistent sleep schedule. Some days I fall asleep at around 10:30 and wake up at 5:30 am, but I often take long naps during the day and this affects the time I’m able to fall asleep at night. 


2008: start Lexapro 10 mg which is quickly upped to 20 mg. 2008:2013 try at least four individual times to get off Lexapro, never get lower than 5mg, settle at 15 mg. 2015: again, attempt to get off Lexapro and get to 5 mg. After 6 months, feel i'm stabilizing but go back on a higher dose because of one stressful event. 2016: go to 20 mg from 15 mg due to work stresses, hit severe tolerance for the first time and become very suicidal. 2016-2017: try viibryd and cymbata in an attempt to feel better. Also add Lamictal 150 at some point. 2017: eventually land on paxil 37.5 and Lamictal 150. January 2018: cut paxil to 25. April-July 2018: reduce Lamictal in 50 mg increments till im off August. 2018: reduce paxil to 20 mg. december 2018: dropped Paxil to 18 mg, SEVERE CRASH. March updosed to 20 mg April 11: dropped to 19.4 mg due to akathsia (still experiencing akathsia symptoms from updose) April 20: 19 mg Paxil May 4: 18.7 Paxil July 5: 18.2 July 12: 17.8 Aug 19: 17.5 Aug 26: 17.3 Oct 20: 17.1 Nov 3: 16.9, 8/17/20: 16.6 after nine month hold, 8/24/20: 16.4, 8/31/20:16.2, 9/14/2020: 16.0, 9/21/20: 15.8

 

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Altostrata

Why do you take paroxetine at 5:30 a.m.?

 

Please continue to post daily notes, at least 24 hours at a time.

 

2 minutes ago, Adili13 said:

I often take long naps during the day and this affects the time I’m able to fall asleep at night. 

 

An irregular sleep cycle may influence your daily symptom pattern.


This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

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Adili13

@Altostrata I take my meds at 5:30 because I used to wake up for work at this time and this was when I took my meds. I simply never changed the time that I took my dose out of the fear that it would add to destabilization. 
 

6/19/20

 

5:30 - 6:30 dizziness and intense head pressure 
7:00 - 10:00 akathisia  and agitation/teeth grinding 

11:00 attempted to take 1/4 of a digestive enzyme tablet for GERD. Felt a little strange and tired afterwards so have decided to hold off on that for a couple weeks. 
12 - 2:45 had a few hours of feeling relatively normal, even visited friends.

3:00 - 345 severe anxiety neurowave crash. Felt like my brain wasn’t working and was filled with doom. Had to lie down and listen to healing meditations while at my friends until it passed. 
4:00 -  7 deep exhaustion, head pressure and flatness 

 7-8:45 dizziness until falling asleep. 

 

 


2008: start Lexapro 10 mg which is quickly upped to 20 mg. 2008:2013 try at least four individual times to get off Lexapro, never get lower than 5mg, settle at 15 mg. 2015: again, attempt to get off Lexapro and get to 5 mg. After 6 months, feel i'm stabilizing but go back on a higher dose because of one stressful event. 2016: go to 20 mg from 15 mg due to work stresses, hit severe tolerance for the first time and become very suicidal. 2016-2017: try viibryd and cymbata in an attempt to feel better. Also add Lamictal 150 at some point. 2017: eventually land on paxil 37.5 and Lamictal 150. January 2018: cut paxil to 25. April-July 2018: reduce Lamictal in 50 mg increments till im off August. 2018: reduce paxil to 20 mg. december 2018: dropped Paxil to 18 mg, SEVERE CRASH. March updosed to 20 mg April 11: dropped to 19.4 mg due to akathsia (still experiencing akathsia symptoms from updose) April 20: 19 mg Paxil May 4: 18.7 Paxil July 5: 18.2 July 12: 17.8 Aug 19: 17.5 Aug 26: 17.3 Oct 20: 17.1 Nov 3: 16.9, 8/17/20: 16.6 after nine month hold, 8/24/20: 16.4, 8/31/20:16.2, 9/14/2020: 16.0, 9/21/20: 15.8

 

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Altostrata

Please add your drugs and the time you take them to your daily notes.

 

6 hours ago, Adili13 said:

7:00 - 10:00 akathisia  and agitation/teeth grinding 

 

What else do you do between the time you wake up and when this symptom starts? Have breakfast? Do you take any vitamins?


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Adili13

 

@Altostrata

Answer to question: Lately, I’ve been waking up at 5:30 am and taking my meds. I take it with a fish oil capsule and water. I’ll usually eat a light breakfast afterward. A banana and an egg or something. 
5:30 am - take 16.9 mg of Paroxetine. Create my own liquid. 
ate a baked sweet potato for breakfast
6:00 - 6:30 intense anxiety and neurofear

7 - depression and flatness (common for depression and flatness wave to follow an anxiety wave) 

7:40 - dizziness and feeling like chunk of brain is missing 

8 - anxiety 

went for walk around 8:30

9:45 am - 11 am agitation 
11- 1 nap and wake up feeling dizzy 

played some guitar

2:15 -3:15 agitation and anxiety 
3:15 green juice seemed to really help agitation and anxiety. Possible it’s the celery in it? 
6:20 anxiety agitation back with head pain 

7:20 fatigue and exhaustion 

8:30-10 high anxiety and then pass out for exhaustion. 

 

 


2008: start Lexapro 10 mg which is quickly upped to 20 mg. 2008:2013 try at least four individual times to get off Lexapro, never get lower than 5mg, settle at 15 mg. 2015: again, attempt to get off Lexapro and get to 5 mg. After 6 months, feel i'm stabilizing but go back on a higher dose because of one stressful event. 2016: go to 20 mg from 15 mg due to work stresses, hit severe tolerance for the first time and become very suicidal. 2016-2017: try viibryd and cymbata in an attempt to feel better. Also add Lamictal 150 at some point. 2017: eventually land on paxil 37.5 and Lamictal 150. January 2018: cut paxil to 25. April-July 2018: reduce Lamictal in 50 mg increments till im off August. 2018: reduce paxil to 20 mg. december 2018: dropped Paxil to 18 mg, SEVERE CRASH. March updosed to 20 mg April 11: dropped to 19.4 mg due to akathsia (still experiencing akathsia symptoms from updose) April 20: 19 mg Paxil May 4: 18.7 Paxil July 5: 18.2 July 12: 17.8 Aug 19: 17.5 Aug 26: 17.3 Oct 20: 17.1 Nov 3: 16.9, 8/17/20: 16.6 after nine month hold, 8/24/20: 16.4, 8/31/20:16.2, 9/14/2020: 16.0, 9/21/20: 15.8

 

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Altostrata
7 hours ago, Adili13 said:

Lately, I’ve been waking up at 5:30 am and taking my meds.

 

Did you change the time you take Paxil?

 

It's important to take it at the same time each day.

 

How long have you been having this after you take Paxil:

 

7 hours ago, Adili13 said:

6:00 - 6:30 intense anxiety and neurofear

 


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Adili13

@Altostrata I never changed the time I take my meds. I only ever adjust it for daylight savings time. I have had more intense anxiety waves pretty soon after taking Paxil for quite some time. It got much worse after reacting to a meal that I used cooked wine to prepare. 
 

5:30 16.9  mg paroxetine

6:30 agitation

7 - celery juice, wiped out agitation and made me sleepy 

9- 11 agitation/aka

946 - ice cold shower to calm aka 

11 fatigue headache depression 

1 agitation
2 - 6 hung out at friends. Low buzzing akathisia the whole time. 

8:39 fell asleep 


2008: start Lexapro 10 mg which is quickly upped to 20 mg. 2008:2013 try at least four individual times to get off Lexapro, never get lower than 5mg, settle at 15 mg. 2015: again, attempt to get off Lexapro and get to 5 mg. After 6 months, feel i'm stabilizing but go back on a higher dose because of one stressful event. 2016: go to 20 mg from 15 mg due to work stresses, hit severe tolerance for the first time and become very suicidal. 2016-2017: try viibryd and cymbata in an attempt to feel better. Also add Lamictal 150 at some point. 2017: eventually land on paxil 37.5 and Lamictal 150. January 2018: cut paxil to 25. April-July 2018: reduce Lamictal in 50 mg increments till im off August. 2018: reduce paxil to 20 mg. december 2018: dropped Paxil to 18 mg, SEVERE CRASH. March updosed to 20 mg April 11: dropped to 19.4 mg due to akathsia (still experiencing akathsia symptoms from updose) April 20: 19 mg Paxil May 4: 18.7 Paxil July 5: 18.2 July 12: 17.8 Aug 19: 17.5 Aug 26: 17.3 Oct 20: 17.1 Nov 3: 16.9, 8/17/20: 16.6 after nine month hold, 8/24/20: 16.4, 8/31/20:16.2, 9/14/2020: 16.0, 9/21/20: 15.8

 

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Altostrata
6 hours ago, Adili13 said:

I have had more intense anxiety waves pretty soon after taking Paxil for quite some time.

 

For how long? When did this start?


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Adili13
Posted (edited)

@Altostrata at least a couple months, possibly longer. Not sure of the exact timeline.

 

5:30 16.9 paroxetine meds

6:30 anxiety 

10:00 walked with some anxiety 

1030 depression/flatness 

11 fatigue 

1245 headache 

430 dizziness headache pressure deep fatigue 

8:30 bed

 

Edited by ChessieCat
reduced font size

2008: start Lexapro 10 mg which is quickly upped to 20 mg. 2008:2013 try at least four individual times to get off Lexapro, never get lower than 5mg, settle at 15 mg. 2015: again, attempt to get off Lexapro and get to 5 mg. After 6 months, feel i'm stabilizing but go back on a higher dose because of one stressful event. 2016: go to 20 mg from 15 mg due to work stresses, hit severe tolerance for the first time and become very suicidal. 2016-2017: try viibryd and cymbata in an attempt to feel better. Also add Lamictal 150 at some point. 2017: eventually land on paxil 37.5 and Lamictal 150. January 2018: cut paxil to 25. April-July 2018: reduce Lamictal in 50 mg increments till im off August. 2018: reduce paxil to 20 mg. december 2018: dropped Paxil to 18 mg, SEVERE CRASH. March updosed to 20 mg April 11: dropped to 19.4 mg due to akathsia (still experiencing akathsia symptoms from updose) April 20: 19 mg Paxil May 4: 18.7 Paxil July 5: 18.2 July 12: 17.8 Aug 19: 17.5 Aug 26: 17.3 Oct 20: 17.1 Nov 3: 16.9, 8/17/20: 16.6 after nine month hold, 8/24/20: 16.4, 8/31/20:16.2, 9/14/2020: 16.0, 9/21/20: 15.8

 

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Altostrata

It looks to me like that amount of Paxil is still too activating for you. I might reduce it slightly, maybe to 16.75mg. Let us know how you're doing.


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sunnysideup69

Hey @Adili13, waving hello, you've got this !


January 2008 to April 2015 Citalopram 20mg to 5mg, reducing in 50 per cent leaps. Jumped off at 5mg

March 2016 used MDMA triggered setback

April 2016 Citalopram 10mg October 2016 cut to 5mg, May 2017 cut to 2.5mg

May 2018 used MDMA triggered setback

June 2018 Citalopram 2.5mg up to 10mg, then back to 5mg

July/ August 2018 7.5mg, then 10mg

June 2019 updosed to 20mg Citalopram

August 2019 cold switch to Venlafaxine 75mg XR

 

 

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Adili13

@Altostrata I’m going to wait just a few more weeks and then do exactly that. Just want to see if a few more weeks can help at all. 
 

@sunnysideup69 sup pal :)))) thanks for stopping by xxx


2008: start Lexapro 10 mg which is quickly upped to 20 mg. 2008:2013 try at least four individual times to get off Lexapro, never get lower than 5mg, settle at 15 mg. 2015: again, attempt to get off Lexapro and get to 5 mg. After 6 months, feel i'm stabilizing but go back on a higher dose because of one stressful event. 2016: go to 20 mg from 15 mg due to work stresses, hit severe tolerance for the first time and become very suicidal. 2016-2017: try viibryd and cymbata in an attempt to feel better. Also add Lamictal 150 at some point. 2017: eventually land on paxil 37.5 and Lamictal 150. January 2018: cut paxil to 25. April-July 2018: reduce Lamictal in 50 mg increments till im off August. 2018: reduce paxil to 20 mg. december 2018: dropped Paxil to 18 mg, SEVERE CRASH. March updosed to 20 mg April 11: dropped to 19.4 mg due to akathsia (still experiencing akathsia symptoms from updose) April 20: 19 mg Paxil May 4: 18.7 Paxil July 5: 18.2 July 12: 17.8 Aug 19: 17.5 Aug 26: 17.3 Oct 20: 17.1 Nov 3: 16.9, 8/17/20: 16.6 after nine month hold, 8/24/20: 16.4, 8/31/20:16.2, 9/14/2020: 16.0, 9/21/20: 15.8

 

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