Moderator Emeritus apace41 Posted July 11, 2021 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted July 11, 2021 On 7/10/2021 at 9:21 AM, Longroadhome said: For what it’s worth Adili I think you were in a wave anyway so taking that sip is just coincidence. I think this is spot on, Longroad. Adili, you (and all of us) tend to grip so tightly onto "things" we can tie our latest set of symptoms to that it leads us into "anticipatory anxiety." You took a sip and said to yourself, "Uh-oh, alcohol is SO BAD for someone in withdrawal, I'm CERTAIN it will cause me to be symptomatic." That thinking triggers fight or flight and the sympathetic nervous arousal that causes the release of cortisol into the body and you are off to the races with the spiral of fear and anxiety that triggers more and increasing symptoms. I have long believed that there is a very strong crossover relationship for many in withdrawal between the withdrawal and an anxiety disorder. For some it will be 100% withdrawal and no anxiety disorder, for some it will be 100% anxiety and not about withdrawal, but for the vast majority the mix will fall somewhere along the spectrum. The withdrawal will take its time to recover -- all you can do is really be patient, practice self-care and soothing, and learn to accept. To the extent it is anxiety all of those same things become even more critical, but the recovery from that piece can happen a lot faster in many cases. So, the learning to accept, float and not overreact to your symptoms, in the manner that Claire Weekes first described, is critical to starting to feel better with regard to the anxiety piece of this, and that will, in turn, allow you to accept and deal with the withdrawal piece more comfortably. As always, just my two cents, but I think we in withdrawal have a tendency to blame everything 100% on withdrawal and I don't think, in most cases, that is accurate. Best, Andy 1 Sertraline 50mg and Clonazapam .375mg from 2000 -- symptoms of dizziness Spring 2012 increased to .5 Clonazapam and 100mg Sertraline -- no improvement Benzo microtaper from November 2012 to November 2014 (followed benzo sites "taper benzo first") Started Sertraline taper in December 2014 cut by 25mg to 75mg; 62.5mg 1/1/15 and 50mg on 2/1/15 Held at 50mg through April 5 to use liquid Reduced dosage in 10% or less drops from 50mg to 25mg -- at single tablet of 25mg on 10/5/15 Transitioned to all liquid for accuracy while tapering -- Horrible insomnia -- back to 25mg liquid and held until October 1, 2016 10/16 -- 11/18 tapered very slowly to 10.6mg. No real improvement and never really stable so updosed to 12.5mg (1/2 a pill) for convenience and long hold. After 8+ months of holding with no noticeable improvement decided to add .4ml of liquid Prozac (about 1.5mg) to see if that improves the situation Supplements, Magnesium, D3, Omega 3, curcumin, Valerian, 81mg Aspirin, L-Theanine, Vit. C, Link to comment
Longroadhome Posted July 11, 2021 Share Posted July 11, 2021 @apace41 i often follow you though never commented on things you have wrote to others. You are always kind with helpful suggestions . I know it’s been particularly hard for you tapering and holding and I was wondering how things are going as you have held for a long time. Do you feel more stable after such a long hold? it seems that like myself you have always been symptomatic throughout holding and tapering. Nov 2018 Pregabalin 2x50 mg a day to help with Paxil WD. Aug 2019 2 x 25mg a day, April 2020 45mg, May 40mg, June 35mg, July 30mg, end July 25mg, Aug 24mg, June 2021 14mg, Jan 2022 14mg (2x7mg a day), Oct 10mg, Nov 5mg, December 25th 2022 0mg 🎈 Oct 2004 - Oct 2018 Paxil 20 mg, Nov 15mg, Dec 10mg, Feb 2019 7.5mg crashed, Feb 8.5mg, Nov 8mg, March 2020 7.2mg, April 6.5mg, May 5.9mg, June 5.4mg, July 4.8mg, Dec 4.5mg, Jan 2021 4mg, Feb 3.6mg, March 3.2mg, April 2.9mg, Aug 2.7mg, Sept 2.4mg, Oct 2.2mg, Nov 2mg, Dec 1.8mg, Feb 2022 1.6mg, March 1.4mg, April 1.2mg, May 1.0mg, June 0.8mg, July 0.6mg, Aug 0.4mg, Sep 0.2mg, October 6th 2022 0mg 🎈 December 25th 2022 drug free these dates are approximate Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus apace41 Posted July 13, 2021 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted July 13, 2021 On 7/11/2021 at 12:16 PM, Longroadhome said: @apace41 i often follow you though never commented on things you have wrote to others. You are always kind with helpful suggestions . I know it’s been particularly hard for you tapering and holding and I was wondering how things are going as you have held for a long time. Do you feel more stable after such a long hold? it seems that like myself you have always been symptomatic throughout holding and tapering. Thanks for asking, LRH, and I usually wouldn't tie up Adili's thread to respond, but I'll do a short answer since you asked. I have held for an extended period but have not seen a huge improvement -- some but not huge. Given the several year process, I attribute the continuing symptoms (all of which are manageable, i.e., I live my life, hold down a challenging job, do all the things my family needs, etc., just without the joy I once had in my life for the most part) to either: (i) having "tried" a bunch of things during my recovery to try to "accelerate" the recovery process, ranging from neurofeedback to supplements to heavy exercise, etc., and it is entirely possible that had I instead been passive and accepted where I was my recovery would have been smoother, or (ii) the fact that some meaningful portion of my situation is NOT withdrawal and is instead unresolved issues that existed prior to starting medication. I recognize that this is something of "taboo" notion on tapering and withdrawal sites generally, as there is a strong desire to blame EVERYTHING on withdrawal and the general view is that any mental health issue is the result of medication withdrawal as opposed to an "underlying" condition. That, of course, is way to simple a view as we are complex beings who have multifaceted issues based on myriad factors. This is the basis for my earlier comment to Adili (now I feel better having posted on this thread 😁) that there is a spectrum that is part withdrawal and part underlying condition for most of us. I'm beginning to think I'm further to the underlying condition side of things and am working hard on self-help approaches to deal with that. There are things that have improved a lot and some that haven't but I remain, largely, a work deeply in progress. Thanks again for asking and for your kind words. Best, Andy 1 Sertraline 50mg and Clonazapam .375mg from 2000 -- symptoms of dizziness Spring 2012 increased to .5 Clonazapam and 100mg Sertraline -- no improvement Benzo microtaper from November 2012 to November 2014 (followed benzo sites "taper benzo first") Started Sertraline taper in December 2014 cut by 25mg to 75mg; 62.5mg 1/1/15 and 50mg on 2/1/15 Held at 50mg through April 5 to use liquid Reduced dosage in 10% or less drops from 50mg to 25mg -- at single tablet of 25mg on 10/5/15 Transitioned to all liquid for accuracy while tapering -- Horrible insomnia -- back to 25mg liquid and held until October 1, 2016 10/16 -- 11/18 tapered very slowly to 10.6mg. No real improvement and never really stable so updosed to 12.5mg (1/2 a pill) for convenience and long hold. After 8+ months of holding with no noticeable improvement decided to add .4ml of liquid Prozac (about 1.5mg) to see if that improves the situation Supplements, Magnesium, D3, Omega 3, curcumin, Valerian, 81mg Aspirin, L-Theanine, Vit. C, Link to comment
Sottana Posted July 15, 2021 Author Share Posted July 15, 2021 @apace41Thank you so much for reply! I think you’re right. It makes sense that those of us with a history of anxiety have the most challenging wd syndromes. Our capacity to imagine things and make symptoms worse with our own minds can’t be overstated. I think another huge factor is that symptoms do exist and that they are intense, making it even easier for an anxious mind to blame everything on wd and damage. Your response was thoughtful as always! Not sure if you remember, but you helped me out when I was at the peak of my suffering a couple years ago. I never forget what you told me in my PMs Be well, Anthony 2008: start Lexapro 10 mg which is quickly upped to 20 mg. 2008:2013 try at least four individual times to get off Lexapro, never get lower than 5mg, settle at 15 mg. 2015: again, attempt to get off Lexapro and get to 5 mg. After 6 months, feel i'm stabilizing but go back on a higher dose because of one stressful event. 2016: go to 20 mg from 15 mg due to work stresses, hit severe tolerance for the first time and become very suicidal. 2016-2017: try viibryd and cymbata in an attempt to feel better. Also add Lamictal 150 at some point. 2017: eventually land on paxil 37.5 and Lamictal 150. January 2018: cut paxil to 25. April-July 2018: reduce Lamictal in 50 mg increments till im off August. 2018: reduce paxil to 20 mg. december 2018: dropped Paxil to 18 mg, SEVERE CRASH. March updosed to 20 mg April 11: dropped to 19.4 mg due to akathsia (still experiencing akathsia symptoms from updose) April 20: 19 mg Paxil May 4: 18.7 Paxil July 5: 18.2 July 12: 17.8 Aug 19: 17.5 Aug 26: 17.3 Oct 20: 17.1 Nov 3: 16.9, 8/17/20: 16.6 after nine month hold, 8/24/20: 16.4, 8/31/20:16.2, 9/14/2020: 16.0, 9/21/20: 15.8, 9/28/20: 15.6, 10/19/20:15.4, 10/26/20: 15.2, 11/2/20: 15.1, 11/7/20: 14.8, 3/6/2-: 14.5, 3/20/20: 14.3, 4/3/20: 13.9, 4/10/2021: 13.7. 4/21/21: 13.5, 5/5/2021: 13.1, 12.2 8/12/2021 (slowly microtapered to this number. I just can’t remember the exact dates), 11.8 9/6/2021, 11.6 9/13/21, 11.2 9/27/21, 11.1 9/30/21.....11/5/21 switched to 10 mg tablet. I am holding to stabilize for the foreseeable future. 3/25/22: 9.4, 5/6/22: 9.0, 5/30/22: 8.25, 6/7/22: 8.1, 7/722: 7.65, 8/16/22: 7.39, 9/22/22: 6.91, 10/1/22: 6.78 Medication signature.docx Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus apace41 Posted July 15, 2021 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted July 15, 2021 1 hour ago, Adili13 said: Not sure if you remember, but you helped me out when I was at the peak of my suffering a couple years ago. I never forget what you told me in my PMs Of course, I remember, Anthony. You've come a long way from then -- don't forget how far you've come. It's easy to lose track of the arc of your recovery when you are in a hole, but if you can find the perspective to look back at the big picture you will see the overall graph is moving upwards. Best, Andy 4 Sertraline 50mg and Clonazapam .375mg from 2000 -- symptoms of dizziness Spring 2012 increased to .5 Clonazapam and 100mg Sertraline -- no improvement Benzo microtaper from November 2012 to November 2014 (followed benzo sites "taper benzo first") Started Sertraline taper in December 2014 cut by 25mg to 75mg; 62.5mg 1/1/15 and 50mg on 2/1/15 Held at 50mg through April 5 to use liquid Reduced dosage in 10% or less drops from 50mg to 25mg -- at single tablet of 25mg on 10/5/15 Transitioned to all liquid for accuracy while tapering -- Horrible insomnia -- back to 25mg liquid and held until October 1, 2016 10/16 -- 11/18 tapered very slowly to 10.6mg. No real improvement and never really stable so updosed to 12.5mg (1/2 a pill) for convenience and long hold. After 8+ months of holding with no noticeable improvement decided to add .4ml of liquid Prozac (about 1.5mg) to see if that improves the situation Supplements, Magnesium, D3, Omega 3, curcumin, Valerian, 81mg Aspirin, L-Theanine, Vit. C, Link to comment
Sottana Posted July 15, 2021 Author Share Posted July 15, 2021 @apace41You’re so right. Things are just so clearly better than they were back then. They still suck, but they suck much less. It’s so easy to lose perspective and the reality of improvement. I’m sure you’ve helped countless people on here. You’re a really good person. Thanks for popping in again. Your words really carry a lot of weight. I hope you have a great day. Talk soon. 1 2008: start Lexapro 10 mg which is quickly upped to 20 mg. 2008:2013 try at least four individual times to get off Lexapro, never get lower than 5mg, settle at 15 mg. 2015: again, attempt to get off Lexapro and get to 5 mg. After 6 months, feel i'm stabilizing but go back on a higher dose because of one stressful event. 2016: go to 20 mg from 15 mg due to work stresses, hit severe tolerance for the first time and become very suicidal. 2016-2017: try viibryd and cymbata in an attempt to feel better. Also add Lamictal 150 at some point. 2017: eventually land on paxil 37.5 and Lamictal 150. January 2018: cut paxil to 25. April-July 2018: reduce Lamictal in 50 mg increments till im off August. 2018: reduce paxil to 20 mg. december 2018: dropped Paxil to 18 mg, SEVERE CRASH. March updosed to 20 mg April 11: dropped to 19.4 mg due to akathsia (still experiencing akathsia symptoms from updose) April 20: 19 mg Paxil May 4: 18.7 Paxil July 5: 18.2 July 12: 17.8 Aug 19: 17.5 Aug 26: 17.3 Oct 20: 17.1 Nov 3: 16.9, 8/17/20: 16.6 after nine month hold, 8/24/20: 16.4, 8/31/20:16.2, 9/14/2020: 16.0, 9/21/20: 15.8, 9/28/20: 15.6, 10/19/20:15.4, 10/26/20: 15.2, 11/2/20: 15.1, 11/7/20: 14.8, 3/6/2-: 14.5, 3/20/20: 14.3, 4/3/20: 13.9, 4/10/2021: 13.7. 4/21/21: 13.5, 5/5/2021: 13.1, 12.2 8/12/2021 (slowly microtapered to this number. I just can’t remember the exact dates), 11.8 9/6/2021, 11.6 9/13/21, 11.2 9/27/21, 11.1 9/30/21.....11/5/21 switched to 10 mg tablet. I am holding to stabilize for the foreseeable future. 3/25/22: 9.4, 5/6/22: 9.0, 5/30/22: 8.25, 6/7/22: 8.1, 7/722: 7.65, 8/16/22: 7.39, 9/22/22: 6.91, 10/1/22: 6.78 Medication signature.docx Link to comment
Sottana Posted July 20, 2021 Author Share Posted July 20, 2021 Anyone ever heard of essential oils throwing someone into a massive wave? 1 2008: start Lexapro 10 mg which is quickly upped to 20 mg. 2008:2013 try at least four individual times to get off Lexapro, never get lower than 5mg, settle at 15 mg. 2015: again, attempt to get off Lexapro and get to 5 mg. After 6 months, feel i'm stabilizing but go back on a higher dose because of one stressful event. 2016: go to 20 mg from 15 mg due to work stresses, hit severe tolerance for the first time and become very suicidal. 2016-2017: try viibryd and cymbata in an attempt to feel better. Also add Lamictal 150 at some point. 2017: eventually land on paxil 37.5 and Lamictal 150. January 2018: cut paxil to 25. April-July 2018: reduce Lamictal in 50 mg increments till im off August. 2018: reduce paxil to 20 mg. december 2018: dropped Paxil to 18 mg, SEVERE CRASH. March updosed to 20 mg April 11: dropped to 19.4 mg due to akathsia (still experiencing akathsia symptoms from updose) April 20: 19 mg Paxil May 4: 18.7 Paxil July 5: 18.2 July 12: 17.8 Aug 19: 17.5 Aug 26: 17.3 Oct 20: 17.1 Nov 3: 16.9, 8/17/20: 16.6 after nine month hold, 8/24/20: 16.4, 8/31/20:16.2, 9/14/2020: 16.0, 9/21/20: 15.8, 9/28/20: 15.6, 10/19/20:15.4, 10/26/20: 15.2, 11/2/20: 15.1, 11/7/20: 14.8, 3/6/2-: 14.5, 3/20/20: 14.3, 4/3/20: 13.9, 4/10/2021: 13.7. 4/21/21: 13.5, 5/5/2021: 13.1, 12.2 8/12/2021 (slowly microtapered to this number. I just can’t remember the exact dates), 11.8 9/6/2021, 11.6 9/13/21, 11.2 9/27/21, 11.1 9/30/21.....11/5/21 switched to 10 mg tablet. I am holding to stabilize for the foreseeable future. 3/25/22: 9.4, 5/6/22: 9.0, 5/30/22: 8.25, 6/7/22: 8.1, 7/722: 7.65, 8/16/22: 7.39, 9/22/22: 6.91, 10/1/22: 6.78 Medication signature.docx Link to comment
Longroadhome Posted July 21, 2021 Share Posted July 21, 2021 Hi Adili How are things ? Can’t help you with the essentIal oils I’m afraid as I have never tried them. Are you holding at the moment ? Nov 2018 Pregabalin 2x50 mg a day to help with Paxil WD. Aug 2019 2 x 25mg a day, April 2020 45mg, May 40mg, June 35mg, July 30mg, end July 25mg, Aug 24mg, June 2021 14mg, Jan 2022 14mg (2x7mg a day), Oct 10mg, Nov 5mg, December 25th 2022 0mg 🎈 Oct 2004 - Oct 2018 Paxil 20 mg, Nov 15mg, Dec 10mg, Feb 2019 7.5mg crashed, Feb 8.5mg, Nov 8mg, March 2020 7.2mg, April 6.5mg, May 5.9mg, June 5.4mg, July 4.8mg, Dec 4.5mg, Jan 2021 4mg, Feb 3.6mg, March 3.2mg, April 2.9mg, Aug 2.7mg, Sept 2.4mg, Oct 2.2mg, Nov 2mg, Dec 1.8mg, Feb 2022 1.6mg, March 1.4mg, April 1.2mg, May 1.0mg, June 0.8mg, July 0.6mg, Aug 0.4mg, Sep 0.2mg, October 6th 2022 0mg 🎈 December 25th 2022 drug free these dates are approximate Link to comment
Sottana Posted July 22, 2021 Author Share Posted July 22, 2021 @Longroadhomei put a lot of tea tree oil on myself and I’ve been in nonstop terror and akathisia for about a week now. I’m feeling really hopeless. Hope you’re ok ❤️ 2008: start Lexapro 10 mg which is quickly upped to 20 mg. 2008:2013 try at least four individual times to get off Lexapro, never get lower than 5mg, settle at 15 mg. 2015: again, attempt to get off Lexapro and get to 5 mg. After 6 months, feel i'm stabilizing but go back on a higher dose because of one stressful event. 2016: go to 20 mg from 15 mg due to work stresses, hit severe tolerance for the first time and become very suicidal. 2016-2017: try viibryd and cymbata in an attempt to feel better. Also add Lamictal 150 at some point. 2017: eventually land on paxil 37.5 and Lamictal 150. January 2018: cut paxil to 25. April-July 2018: reduce Lamictal in 50 mg increments till im off August. 2018: reduce paxil to 20 mg. december 2018: dropped Paxil to 18 mg, SEVERE CRASH. March updosed to 20 mg April 11: dropped to 19.4 mg due to akathsia (still experiencing akathsia symptoms from updose) April 20: 19 mg Paxil May 4: 18.7 Paxil July 5: 18.2 July 12: 17.8 Aug 19: 17.5 Aug 26: 17.3 Oct 20: 17.1 Nov 3: 16.9, 8/17/20: 16.6 after nine month hold, 8/24/20: 16.4, 8/31/20:16.2, 9/14/2020: 16.0, 9/21/20: 15.8, 9/28/20: 15.6, 10/19/20:15.4, 10/26/20: 15.2, 11/2/20: 15.1, 11/7/20: 14.8, 3/6/2-: 14.5, 3/20/20: 14.3, 4/3/20: 13.9, 4/10/2021: 13.7. 4/21/21: 13.5, 5/5/2021: 13.1, 12.2 8/12/2021 (slowly microtapered to this number. I just can’t remember the exact dates), 11.8 9/6/2021, 11.6 9/13/21, 11.2 9/27/21, 11.1 9/30/21.....11/5/21 switched to 10 mg tablet. I am holding to stabilize for the foreseeable future. 3/25/22: 9.4, 5/6/22: 9.0, 5/30/22: 8.25, 6/7/22: 8.1, 7/722: 7.65, 8/16/22: 7.39, 9/22/22: 6.91, 10/1/22: 6.78 Medication signature.docx Link to comment
Mentor Hanna72 Posted July 22, 2021 Mentor Share Posted July 22, 2021 Oh no @Sottana How awful. I am truly sorry you have to suffer with so much terror, that’s a scary place to be at. On 7/21/2021 at 7:12 PM, Adili13 said: I’m feeling really hopeless. There is always hope, even at our lowest points it’s still there, never stop believing, I believe in you🙏 You are in my prayers my friend and a big hug is sent your way 💕 1999-2020 20 mg Paxil Bridged with Fluoxetine to help me get off Paxil. 2022 Fluoxetine 15 mg 12/12 14mg 27/12 13mg jan 12mg feb 11mg mars 10mg, 9 mg 8,5 mg 7.6mg 7.0 mg 6,3 mg 5,6 mg 5,0 mg 4,5 mg 4,0 mg 3.6mg 3,2 mg 2,9 mg 2,6 mg 2,3 mg 2,0 mg 1.8 mg I am not a medical professional nor is this a medical advice. I only talk from my own experience. Link to comment
Longroadhome Posted July 22, 2021 Share Posted July 22, 2021 @Sottana i think you’re still in a wave. Just take each day minute by minute hour by hour it will get better it always does. As you have recently said you feel so much better than at the beginning of this so hold onto that. When in a wave we forget the progress we have made. But you have made progress and there’s no reason this will not continue . A wave 🌊 means more healing is taking place. im holding at the moment letting things settle as I have lots going on . I’m at my mother in laws helping her as she’s had a bad fall. it feels good being able to help. Keep going one day this will be over. You’re heading in the right direction. 1 Nov 2018 Pregabalin 2x50 mg a day to help with Paxil WD. Aug 2019 2 x 25mg a day, April 2020 45mg, May 40mg, June 35mg, July 30mg, end July 25mg, Aug 24mg, June 2021 14mg, Jan 2022 14mg (2x7mg a day), Oct 10mg, Nov 5mg, December 25th 2022 0mg 🎈 Oct 2004 - Oct 2018 Paxil 20 mg, Nov 15mg, Dec 10mg, Feb 2019 7.5mg crashed, Feb 8.5mg, Nov 8mg, March 2020 7.2mg, April 6.5mg, May 5.9mg, June 5.4mg, July 4.8mg, Dec 4.5mg, Jan 2021 4mg, Feb 3.6mg, March 3.2mg, April 2.9mg, Aug 2.7mg, Sept 2.4mg, Oct 2.2mg, Nov 2mg, Dec 1.8mg, Feb 2022 1.6mg, March 1.4mg, April 1.2mg, May 1.0mg, June 0.8mg, July 0.6mg, Aug 0.4mg, Sep 0.2mg, October 6th 2022 0mg 🎈 December 25th 2022 drug free these dates are approximate Link to comment
Sleepan Posted July 25, 2021 Share Posted July 25, 2021 On 7/20/2021 at 12:54 PM, Adili13 said: Anyone ever heard of essential oils throwing someone into a massive wave? Hi, Essential oils can enhance or contraindicate effect of medications, just like fasting do. Sorry about that. 1989, 25mg, Amitriptyline 1st prescribed for 1wk insomnia, 2020 october Cold turkey 20/12/21, 22.5mg reinstated; waited 1.5 year to start tapering 21/07/25, 20mg tapering started. 10% every 4 weeks 22/02/26, 9.5mg - Emergency surgery put chaos to tapering: chronic insomnia till May 22/04/11, 10mg tapering started. 10% every 4 week. Sleep came back but trickled away in Sep' 22 22/09/17, 5,1mg - 10/15, 4.6mg - 11/12, 4,1mg - 12/10, 3.7mg. Too fast. Permanent symptoms. 22/12/28, 4,0mg - partial updose where I'll remain until perfect stabilizing 22/12/30, 4,0mg - started Melatonin 3mg, Maritime Pine Bark Extract am & pm 23/02/03, 4,0mg - sleeping well every night with dreams, symptoms are diminishing 22/03/20, 4,0mg - insomnia is back on some nights. Waves. Anxiety. My dog is sick. Maritime Pine Bark Extract (Omega Alpha Labs) in capsules am & pm, Melatonin 3mg Link to comment
Sottana Posted July 26, 2021 Author Share Posted July 26, 2021 @Hanna72thank you. I really appreciate your support and kindness. How are you? @Longroadhomeits always a combination of factors, isn’t it? Thanks for dropping some wisdom on my page. I’m still really struggling but hoping it passes soon. @Sleepaninteresting. It definitely has a massive effect on my cns. Never again 1 2008: start Lexapro 10 mg which is quickly upped to 20 mg. 2008:2013 try at least four individual times to get off Lexapro, never get lower than 5mg, settle at 15 mg. 2015: again, attempt to get off Lexapro and get to 5 mg. After 6 months, feel i'm stabilizing but go back on a higher dose because of one stressful event. 2016: go to 20 mg from 15 mg due to work stresses, hit severe tolerance for the first time and become very suicidal. 2016-2017: try viibryd and cymbata in an attempt to feel better. Also add Lamictal 150 at some point. 2017: eventually land on paxil 37.5 and Lamictal 150. January 2018: cut paxil to 25. April-July 2018: reduce Lamictal in 50 mg increments till im off August. 2018: reduce paxil to 20 mg. december 2018: dropped Paxil to 18 mg, SEVERE CRASH. March updosed to 20 mg April 11: dropped to 19.4 mg due to akathsia (still experiencing akathsia symptoms from updose) April 20: 19 mg Paxil May 4: 18.7 Paxil July 5: 18.2 July 12: 17.8 Aug 19: 17.5 Aug 26: 17.3 Oct 20: 17.1 Nov 3: 16.9, 8/17/20: 16.6 after nine month hold, 8/24/20: 16.4, 8/31/20:16.2, 9/14/2020: 16.0, 9/21/20: 15.8, 9/28/20: 15.6, 10/19/20:15.4, 10/26/20: 15.2, 11/2/20: 15.1, 11/7/20: 14.8, 3/6/2-: 14.5, 3/20/20: 14.3, 4/3/20: 13.9, 4/10/2021: 13.7. 4/21/21: 13.5, 5/5/2021: 13.1, 12.2 8/12/2021 (slowly microtapered to this number. I just can’t remember the exact dates), 11.8 9/6/2021, 11.6 9/13/21, 11.2 9/27/21, 11.1 9/30/21.....11/5/21 switched to 10 mg tablet. I am holding to stabilize for the foreseeable future. 3/25/22: 9.4, 5/6/22: 9.0, 5/30/22: 8.25, 6/7/22: 8.1, 7/722: 7.65, 8/16/22: 7.39, 9/22/22: 6.91, 10/1/22: 6.78 Medication signature.docx Link to comment
Sottana Posted July 28, 2021 Author Share Posted July 28, 2021 Are there people on this site who have found getting all the way off their drug has been impossible for them, but that they’ve found a way to live happy and meaningful lives at low doses? 1 2008: start Lexapro 10 mg which is quickly upped to 20 mg. 2008:2013 try at least four individual times to get off Lexapro, never get lower than 5mg, settle at 15 mg. 2015: again, attempt to get off Lexapro and get to 5 mg. After 6 months, feel i'm stabilizing but go back on a higher dose because of one stressful event. 2016: go to 20 mg from 15 mg due to work stresses, hit severe tolerance for the first time and become very suicidal. 2016-2017: try viibryd and cymbata in an attempt to feel better. Also add Lamictal 150 at some point. 2017: eventually land on paxil 37.5 and Lamictal 150. January 2018: cut paxil to 25. April-July 2018: reduce Lamictal in 50 mg increments till im off August. 2018: reduce paxil to 20 mg. december 2018: dropped Paxil to 18 mg, SEVERE CRASH. March updosed to 20 mg April 11: dropped to 19.4 mg due to akathsia (still experiencing akathsia symptoms from updose) April 20: 19 mg Paxil May 4: 18.7 Paxil July 5: 18.2 July 12: 17.8 Aug 19: 17.5 Aug 26: 17.3 Oct 20: 17.1 Nov 3: 16.9, 8/17/20: 16.6 after nine month hold, 8/24/20: 16.4, 8/31/20:16.2, 9/14/2020: 16.0, 9/21/20: 15.8, 9/28/20: 15.6, 10/19/20:15.4, 10/26/20: 15.2, 11/2/20: 15.1, 11/7/20: 14.8, 3/6/2-: 14.5, 3/20/20: 14.3, 4/3/20: 13.9, 4/10/2021: 13.7. 4/21/21: 13.5, 5/5/2021: 13.1, 12.2 8/12/2021 (slowly microtapered to this number. I just can’t remember the exact dates), 11.8 9/6/2021, 11.6 9/13/21, 11.2 9/27/21, 11.1 9/30/21.....11/5/21 switched to 10 mg tablet. I am holding to stabilize for the foreseeable future. 3/25/22: 9.4, 5/6/22: 9.0, 5/30/22: 8.25, 6/7/22: 8.1, 7/722: 7.65, 8/16/22: 7.39, 9/22/22: 6.91, 10/1/22: 6.78 Medication signature.docx Link to comment
sunnysideup69 Posted July 28, 2021 Share Posted July 28, 2021 Hey @Sottana, sorry to read about the tea tree effect. I think we can definitely react quite strongly to things. I recently experimented with topical estrogen, a minute dose, and it made me feel absolutely awful, had to stop it. With regards to your question, I bet there are people who stick on a very low dose. I don't see why you couldn't. And also have a happy and meaningful life. Whether or not I get totally off this crap, am definitely going for purpose and meaning. How are you doing? Are you able to socialise or work a little? January 2008 to April 2015 Citalopram 20mg to 5mg, reducing in 50 per cent leaps. Jumped off at 5mg March 2016 used MDMA triggered setback April 2016 Citalopram 10mg October 2016 cut to 5mg, May 2017 cut to 2.5mg May 2018 used MDMA triggered setback June 2018 Citalopram 2.5mg up to 10mg, then back to 5mg July/ August 2018 7.5mg, then 10mg June 2019 updosed to 20mg Citalopram August 2019 cold switch to Venlafaxine 75mg XR Supplements; 1100mg fish oil daily; also 100mg Magnesium Glycinate. Tried Vagifem 10mcg from mid May 2021 to mid June 2021; caused depression, so stopped. Link to comment
Sottana Posted July 28, 2021 Author Share Posted July 28, 2021 Thanks @sunnysideup69. It’s unbelievable how sensitive we are, isn’t it? im not working yet…but I am socializing. I want to get back to part time work by the winter. That’s my big goal. How are you? 1 2008: start Lexapro 10 mg which is quickly upped to 20 mg. 2008:2013 try at least four individual times to get off Lexapro, never get lower than 5mg, settle at 15 mg. 2015: again, attempt to get off Lexapro and get to 5 mg. After 6 months, feel i'm stabilizing but go back on a higher dose because of one stressful event. 2016: go to 20 mg from 15 mg due to work stresses, hit severe tolerance for the first time and become very suicidal. 2016-2017: try viibryd and cymbata in an attempt to feel better. Also add Lamictal 150 at some point. 2017: eventually land on paxil 37.5 and Lamictal 150. January 2018: cut paxil to 25. April-July 2018: reduce Lamictal in 50 mg increments till im off August. 2018: reduce paxil to 20 mg. december 2018: dropped Paxil to 18 mg, SEVERE CRASH. March updosed to 20 mg April 11: dropped to 19.4 mg due to akathsia (still experiencing akathsia symptoms from updose) April 20: 19 mg Paxil May 4: 18.7 Paxil July 5: 18.2 July 12: 17.8 Aug 19: 17.5 Aug 26: 17.3 Oct 20: 17.1 Nov 3: 16.9, 8/17/20: 16.6 after nine month hold, 8/24/20: 16.4, 8/31/20:16.2, 9/14/2020: 16.0, 9/21/20: 15.8, 9/28/20: 15.6, 10/19/20:15.4, 10/26/20: 15.2, 11/2/20: 15.1, 11/7/20: 14.8, 3/6/2-: 14.5, 3/20/20: 14.3, 4/3/20: 13.9, 4/10/2021: 13.7. 4/21/21: 13.5, 5/5/2021: 13.1, 12.2 8/12/2021 (slowly microtapered to this number. I just can’t remember the exact dates), 11.8 9/6/2021, 11.6 9/13/21, 11.2 9/27/21, 11.1 9/30/21.....11/5/21 switched to 10 mg tablet. I am holding to stabilize for the foreseeable future. 3/25/22: 9.4, 5/6/22: 9.0, 5/30/22: 8.25, 6/7/22: 8.1, 7/722: 7.65, 8/16/22: 7.39, 9/22/22: 6.91, 10/1/22: 6.78 Medication signature.docx Link to comment
Sleepan Posted July 29, 2021 Share Posted July 29, 2021 On 7/28/2021 at 2:07 PM, Sottana said: Are there people on this site who have found getting all the way off their drug has been impossible for them, but that they’ve found a way to live happy and meaningful lives at low doses? Hi @Sottana I saw a video of a man who said the same, and seem resigned to live with a very low dose. He's on Youtube. P Kelly is his channel. Name of the video "Benzo withdrawal update 1" and "Benzo withdrawal update 2". It is interesting. When I'll get to a very low dose, I intend to detox myself naturally with activated charcoal 2 or 3 times (drinking it) as well as green clay (drinking it also) as it binds all toxins. This is kind of stuff they give to people when they are poisoned. I started to eat without allergens, without much sugar, water, and I think it will help also especially at that time. Have you tried some detox and having a strict diet with elimination of all allergens? 1989, 25mg, Amitriptyline 1st prescribed for 1wk insomnia, 2020 october Cold turkey 20/12/21, 22.5mg reinstated; waited 1.5 year to start tapering 21/07/25, 20mg tapering started. 10% every 4 weeks 22/02/26, 9.5mg - Emergency surgery put chaos to tapering: chronic insomnia till May 22/04/11, 10mg tapering started. 10% every 4 week. Sleep came back but trickled away in Sep' 22 22/09/17, 5,1mg - 10/15, 4.6mg - 11/12, 4,1mg - 12/10, 3.7mg. Too fast. Permanent symptoms. 22/12/28, 4,0mg - partial updose where I'll remain until perfect stabilizing 22/12/30, 4,0mg - started Melatonin 3mg, Maritime Pine Bark Extract am & pm 23/02/03, 4,0mg - sleeping well every night with dreams, symptoms are diminishing 22/03/20, 4,0mg - insomnia is back on some nights. Waves. Anxiety. My dog is sick. Maritime Pine Bark Extract (Omega Alpha Labs) in capsules am & pm, Melatonin 3mg Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Erell Posted July 29, 2021 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted July 29, 2021 Hello dear @Sottana I don't know if it might help you : I have decided to forget the "0mg" goal and rather focus on the idea of lowering my drug load. By focusing on "0mg", we can put a lot of pressure on our bodies and minds. Plus, it brings a lot of negativity in the process : everytime you have to slow down, everytime you need to hold, it can feel like a failure that move you away from your goal. By only focusing on the idea of lowering my drug load, I can celebrate every reductions, even the smallest ones, feel proud of myself, because everytime I achieve my goal ! And who knows how much I will lower my dose ? Maybe to 0mg, maybe not : I don't care because I'm just happy to lower, even if it's only by 0.01 mg. Take good care my friend ☀️ 1 2006 : 20mg Paxil+Bromazepam. 2008 : cold turkey of both. 2010 : Reinstatement 20mg Paxil + Bromazepam. 2014-June2017 : Switch from Bromazepam to Prazepam, slow taper to 0mg. 2018 to August 2019 : Paxil 20mg taper (3% every 15 days). 22 Aug 2019 updose to 10mg (was at 8.4mg). 25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paxil. April 2020 : Paxil 10mg to Prozac 7mg bridge. Details : topic/21457 Current Supplements : magnesium citrate + fish oil Current medication : * 7pm Diazepam : 0.85mg (15 Aug 2022) / 0.95 mg (24 April 2022) / 1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020) * 8am Prozac : 6.16mg (25 oct 2022, feel awful, slight updose) / 6.08 mg (9 oct 2022) / 6.24mg (11 July 22) / 6.44mg (22 May 22) / 6.64mg (4 Nov 21) / 6.72mg (8 oct 21) / 6.8 mg (15 Sept 21)/ 6.88mg (14 Aug 21)/ 6.92mg (23 Jun 21) I am not a professional, I don't give medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. Link to comment
Rusty1 Posted July 29, 2021 Share Posted July 29, 2021 On 7/29/2021 at 2:43 PM, Erell said: Hello dear @Sottana I don't know if it might help you : I have decided to forget the "0mg" goal and rather focus on the idea of lowering my drug load. By focusing on "0mg", we can put a lot of pressure on our bodies and minds. Plus, it brings a lot of negativity in the process : everytime you have to slow down, everytime you need to hold, it can feel like a failure that move you away from your goal. By only focusing on the idea of lowering my drug load, I can celebrate every reductions, even the smallest ones, feel proud of myself, because everytime I achieve my goal ! And who knows how much I will lower my dose ? Maybe to 0mg, maybe not : I don't care because I'm just happy to lower, even if it's only by 0.01 mg. Take good care my friend ☀️ This 100%. Once I had this mindset I noticed I did smaller drops, felt more stable, and had less side effects. It also IMO made my endgame taper be less stressful and easier. I dont think anyone should resign themselves to not reaching 0. Sometimes our bodies need to catch up and we all dont move at the same speed. Once you take the timeline away and the goal becomes doing a drop no matter how small the amount then you really can make progress to 0 with no pressure. 1 40 yo Male. Started Paxil about 15 years ago. 10 mg (pill weight .125 - .129 g). 5 yrs wanted less side effects, doctor took me off Paxil over couple week period and put me on Wellbutrin. Not good. Went back on Paxil. Relieved my symptoms, but didn't work as well and more side effects. Severe reaction between Paxil and Zomig Summer of 2012. Head was affected during warmer days (cloudiness, confusion, pressure). Began 10% withdrawal 10/24/12. Withdrawel helped many symptoms, but also added side effects: nausea, dizziness, tiredness. Hyper-anxiety started January 2014. Went through a 2 year period of de-realization (2016-2018). Rarely any windows. Current dose: 0.00 as of 4/10/21. Made a lot of progress in my withdrawal symptoms the last 2 years of my taper. I think doing a liquid taper helped stabilize things on the lower doses. A lot of my symptoms have reduced significantly. Hoping for even more improvement now that I am off. My thread: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8909-rusty1-paxil-withdrawal-help-and-advice-welcome/#entry150222 Link to comment
sunnysideup69 Posted July 30, 2021 Share Posted July 30, 2021 On 7/28/2021 at 9:27 PM, Adili13 said: Thanks @sunnysideup69. It’s unbelievable how sensitive we are, isn’t it? im not working yet…but I am socializing. I want to get back to part time work by the winter. That’s my big goal. How are you? Oh that's good, re socializing! And sounds like an achievable goal. I do find work gives my mind something else to chew over...although it's a delicate balance, overworking lands me on my bum. Yeah, I'm doing well, slight wave this week. I was on a sugar binge for the last two weeks of term and stopped on Monday, am now in a sugar crash. Plus, I'm cutting out caffeine gradually. Ugh! Has definitely affected me, I feel exhausted! Have been having weird WD thoughts about the future etc. etc. Brains are so strange, aren't they? My six month old kitten is keeping me busy and entertained. Just bimbling along really, sometimes good, sometimes wonky. Sending huggs my friend xxx January 2008 to April 2015 Citalopram 20mg to 5mg, reducing in 50 per cent leaps. Jumped off at 5mg March 2016 used MDMA triggered setback April 2016 Citalopram 10mg October 2016 cut to 5mg, May 2017 cut to 2.5mg May 2018 used MDMA triggered setback June 2018 Citalopram 2.5mg up to 10mg, then back to 5mg July/ August 2018 7.5mg, then 10mg June 2019 updosed to 20mg Citalopram August 2019 cold switch to Venlafaxine 75mg XR Supplements; 1100mg fish oil daily; also 100mg Magnesium Glycinate. Tried Vagifem 10mcg from mid May 2021 to mid June 2021; caused depression, so stopped. Link to comment
Cheeky Posted July 31, 2021 Share Posted July 31, 2021 Hi Sottana, Im on Paxil as well and I think you doing great. I just wanted to say hi and I understand what your going through . 1995 started Paxil 20mg slowly increasing to 50mg 2014 I decided to tapper myself not knowing how too and crashed , DR added 50mg of Seroquel Through the years made many mistakes tapering Started Tapering Both drugs at the same time 7.5% per month Paxil 9% Seroquel doing daily micro-taper Guided by Mark Horowitz 31/3/24 Paxil 10.31mg 31/3/24 Seroquel 9.9mg Link to comment
Sottana Posted August 12, 2021 Author Share Posted August 12, 2021 @Sleepani watched the videos! Very inspiring story. I’m curious as to what happened to him though, as those videos were posted like 3 years ago. As for my diet, it isn’t perfect. I do my best. I don’t eat any refined sugar at all. Thanks so much for your wisdom and kindness! @ErellThis is a great mindset and I really need to do my best to adopt it. The “all of nothing” thinking clearly hasn’t served me at all. I just get in these spirals that the drug is poison and I’ll never feel ok until I’m totally off (I’m sure you relate). I definitely think it’s important to keep in mind that I was basically ok prior to reducing these drugs, and that’ll my body can most likely find stability on a steady dose (still working on getting to ten and have to update my signature). @Rusty1excellent points! I think we can probably all hit zero EVENTUALLY. We just need to cultivate the patience of monks! Easier said than done. @sunnysideup69 sugar has always been your Achilles heel, hasn’t it? I totally get it. It sucks me back in at times too. That kitty sounds wonderful! Makes me want a pet. You’re right about work. As soon as I feel capable I’m going to dive back in. I’m chomping at the bits. @CheekyHello my friend! I’ve checked out your thread a few times. YOU are doing great. You’ve been through so much. Thank you for posting on my wall. All the best!! 1 2008: start Lexapro 10 mg which is quickly upped to 20 mg. 2008:2013 try at least four individual times to get off Lexapro, never get lower than 5mg, settle at 15 mg. 2015: again, attempt to get off Lexapro and get to 5 mg. After 6 months, feel i'm stabilizing but go back on a higher dose because of one stressful event. 2016: go to 20 mg from 15 mg due to work stresses, hit severe tolerance for the first time and become very suicidal. 2016-2017: try viibryd and cymbata in an attempt to feel better. Also add Lamictal 150 at some point. 2017: eventually land on paxil 37.5 and Lamictal 150. January 2018: cut paxil to 25. April-July 2018: reduce Lamictal in 50 mg increments till im off August. 2018: reduce paxil to 20 mg. december 2018: dropped Paxil to 18 mg, SEVERE CRASH. March updosed to 20 mg April 11: dropped to 19.4 mg due to akathsia (still experiencing akathsia symptoms from updose) April 20: 19 mg Paxil May 4: 18.7 Paxil July 5: 18.2 July 12: 17.8 Aug 19: 17.5 Aug 26: 17.3 Oct 20: 17.1 Nov 3: 16.9, 8/17/20: 16.6 after nine month hold, 8/24/20: 16.4, 8/31/20:16.2, 9/14/2020: 16.0, 9/21/20: 15.8, 9/28/20: 15.6, 10/19/20:15.4, 10/26/20: 15.2, 11/2/20: 15.1, 11/7/20: 14.8, 3/6/2-: 14.5, 3/20/20: 14.3, 4/3/20: 13.9, 4/10/2021: 13.7. 4/21/21: 13.5, 5/5/2021: 13.1, 12.2 8/12/2021 (slowly microtapered to this number. I just can’t remember the exact dates), 11.8 9/6/2021, 11.6 9/13/21, 11.2 9/27/21, 11.1 9/30/21.....11/5/21 switched to 10 mg tablet. I am holding to stabilize for the foreseeable future. 3/25/22: 9.4, 5/6/22: 9.0, 5/30/22: 8.25, 6/7/22: 8.1, 7/722: 7.65, 8/16/22: 7.39, 9/22/22: 6.91, 10/1/22: 6.78 Medication signature.docx Link to comment
Sottana Posted August 14, 2021 Author Share Posted August 14, 2021 Had a decent week symptom wise. Today I tried doing as many push-ups as I could and it put me into a massive wave. Anyone have this experience with exercise? Physical exertion instantly putting you into an activated wave? 1 2008: start Lexapro 10 mg which is quickly upped to 20 mg. 2008:2013 try at least four individual times to get off Lexapro, never get lower than 5mg, settle at 15 mg. 2015: again, attempt to get off Lexapro and get to 5 mg. After 6 months, feel i'm stabilizing but go back on a higher dose because of one stressful event. 2016: go to 20 mg from 15 mg due to work stresses, hit severe tolerance for the first time and become very suicidal. 2016-2017: try viibryd and cymbata in an attempt to feel better. Also add Lamictal 150 at some point. 2017: eventually land on paxil 37.5 and Lamictal 150. January 2018: cut paxil to 25. April-July 2018: reduce Lamictal in 50 mg increments till im off August. 2018: reduce paxil to 20 mg. december 2018: dropped Paxil to 18 mg, SEVERE CRASH. March updosed to 20 mg April 11: dropped to 19.4 mg due to akathsia (still experiencing akathsia symptoms from updose) April 20: 19 mg Paxil May 4: 18.7 Paxil July 5: 18.2 July 12: 17.8 Aug 19: 17.5 Aug 26: 17.3 Oct 20: 17.1 Nov 3: 16.9, 8/17/20: 16.6 after nine month hold, 8/24/20: 16.4, 8/31/20:16.2, 9/14/2020: 16.0, 9/21/20: 15.8, 9/28/20: 15.6, 10/19/20:15.4, 10/26/20: 15.2, 11/2/20: 15.1, 11/7/20: 14.8, 3/6/2-: 14.5, 3/20/20: 14.3, 4/3/20: 13.9, 4/10/2021: 13.7. 4/21/21: 13.5, 5/5/2021: 13.1, 12.2 8/12/2021 (slowly microtapered to this number. I just can’t remember the exact dates), 11.8 9/6/2021, 11.6 9/13/21, 11.2 9/27/21, 11.1 9/30/21.....11/5/21 switched to 10 mg tablet. I am holding to stabilize for the foreseeable future. 3/25/22: 9.4, 5/6/22: 9.0, 5/30/22: 8.25, 6/7/22: 8.1, 7/722: 7.65, 8/16/22: 7.39, 9/22/22: 6.91, 10/1/22: 6.78 Medication signature.docx Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus apace41 Posted August 15, 2021 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted August 15, 2021 49 minutes ago, Adili13 said: oday I tried doing as many push-ups as I could and it put me into a massive wave. Anyone have this experience with exercise? Physical exertion instantly putting you into an activated wave? Adili, When you are in withdrawal one of the things that invariably happens is that your CNS gets sensitized. A sensitized nervous system requires moderation to heal. So exercise, in the form of walking in nature, light stretching and calisthenics, and even mild cardio work will help your healing. Intense exercise of any kind, for most people, can be a trigger which stresses the system and results in greater symptoms. Like adding a medication, exercise should be titrated up starting with more gentle exercise and going to more aggressive exercise only when you have confirmed your body and nervous system can handle it. I am not surprised to hear that you reacted to doing "as many pushups" as you can. Slow and steady wins this race. Best, Andy Sertraline 50mg and Clonazapam .375mg from 2000 -- symptoms of dizziness Spring 2012 increased to .5 Clonazapam and 100mg Sertraline -- no improvement Benzo microtaper from November 2012 to November 2014 (followed benzo sites "taper benzo first") Started Sertraline taper in December 2014 cut by 25mg to 75mg; 62.5mg 1/1/15 and 50mg on 2/1/15 Held at 50mg through April 5 to use liquid Reduced dosage in 10% or less drops from 50mg to 25mg -- at single tablet of 25mg on 10/5/15 Transitioned to all liquid for accuracy while tapering -- Horrible insomnia -- back to 25mg liquid and held until October 1, 2016 10/16 -- 11/18 tapered very slowly to 10.6mg. No real improvement and never really stable so updosed to 12.5mg (1/2 a pill) for convenience and long hold. After 8+ months of holding with no noticeable improvement decided to add .4ml of liquid Prozac (about 1.5mg) to see if that improves the situation Supplements, Magnesium, D3, Omega 3, curcumin, Valerian, 81mg Aspirin, L-Theanine, Vit. C, Link to comment
Sottana Posted August 15, 2021 Author Share Posted August 15, 2021 @apace41Wise words as always. This is what I suspected but it’s reassuring to hear it from a WD vet. I think I have this problem that I’m sure most people have in wd: this being, that I tend to overdo it when I’m feeling “ok”. I have a short memory for how horrific it can get and then land myself back in a state that seems to resemble acute wd. I need to be easier on myself and titrate exercise, as you said. Thanks, Anthony 1 2008: start Lexapro 10 mg which is quickly upped to 20 mg. 2008:2013 try at least four individual times to get off Lexapro, never get lower than 5mg, settle at 15 mg. 2015: again, attempt to get off Lexapro and get to 5 mg. After 6 months, feel i'm stabilizing but go back on a higher dose because of one stressful event. 2016: go to 20 mg from 15 mg due to work stresses, hit severe tolerance for the first time and become very suicidal. 2016-2017: try viibryd and cymbata in an attempt to feel better. Also add Lamictal 150 at some point. 2017: eventually land on paxil 37.5 and Lamictal 150. January 2018: cut paxil to 25. April-July 2018: reduce Lamictal in 50 mg increments till im off August. 2018: reduce paxil to 20 mg. december 2018: dropped Paxil to 18 mg, SEVERE CRASH. March updosed to 20 mg April 11: dropped to 19.4 mg due to akathsia (still experiencing akathsia symptoms from updose) April 20: 19 mg Paxil May 4: 18.7 Paxil July 5: 18.2 July 12: 17.8 Aug 19: 17.5 Aug 26: 17.3 Oct 20: 17.1 Nov 3: 16.9, 8/17/20: 16.6 after nine month hold, 8/24/20: 16.4, 8/31/20:16.2, 9/14/2020: 16.0, 9/21/20: 15.8, 9/28/20: 15.6, 10/19/20:15.4, 10/26/20: 15.2, 11/2/20: 15.1, 11/7/20: 14.8, 3/6/2-: 14.5, 3/20/20: 14.3, 4/3/20: 13.9, 4/10/2021: 13.7. 4/21/21: 13.5, 5/5/2021: 13.1, 12.2 8/12/2021 (slowly microtapered to this number. I just can’t remember the exact dates), 11.8 9/6/2021, 11.6 9/13/21, 11.2 9/27/21, 11.1 9/30/21.....11/5/21 switched to 10 mg tablet. I am holding to stabilize for the foreseeable future. 3/25/22: 9.4, 5/6/22: 9.0, 5/30/22: 8.25, 6/7/22: 8.1, 7/722: 7.65, 8/16/22: 7.39, 9/22/22: 6.91, 10/1/22: 6.78 Medication signature.docx Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus apace41 Posted August 15, 2021 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted August 15, 2021 Good to hear you are feeling better, Anthony. Please make a note somewhere so that if you slide back (and I hope you don't) you will remember it is NOT always awful. Best, Andy Sertraline 50mg and Clonazapam .375mg from 2000 -- symptoms of dizziness Spring 2012 increased to .5 Clonazapam and 100mg Sertraline -- no improvement Benzo microtaper from November 2012 to November 2014 (followed benzo sites "taper benzo first") Started Sertraline taper in December 2014 cut by 25mg to 75mg; 62.5mg 1/1/15 and 50mg on 2/1/15 Held at 50mg through April 5 to use liquid Reduced dosage in 10% or less drops from 50mg to 25mg -- at single tablet of 25mg on 10/5/15 Transitioned to all liquid for accuracy while tapering -- Horrible insomnia -- back to 25mg liquid and held until October 1, 2016 10/16 -- 11/18 tapered very slowly to 10.6mg. No real improvement and never really stable so updosed to 12.5mg (1/2 a pill) for convenience and long hold. After 8+ months of holding with no noticeable improvement decided to add .4ml of liquid Prozac (about 1.5mg) to see if that improves the situation Supplements, Magnesium, D3, Omega 3, curcumin, Valerian, 81mg Aspirin, L-Theanine, Vit. C, Link to comment
Longroadhome Posted August 15, 2021 Share Posted August 15, 2021 Hi @Sottana I also react to exercise with symptoms intensifying. So after being a gym member for years I have quit and each day get my exercise by walking my dog. I do get my steps in and this makes me feel less guilty about having to give up the gym. When I’m over wd I shall return . You’re in a much better place than where you were two years ago so imagine where you’ll be in the near future. keep doing what your doing ! 1 Nov 2018 Pregabalin 2x50 mg a day to help with Paxil WD. Aug 2019 2 x 25mg a day, April 2020 45mg, May 40mg, June 35mg, July 30mg, end July 25mg, Aug 24mg, June 2021 14mg, Jan 2022 14mg (2x7mg a day), Oct 10mg, Nov 5mg, December 25th 2022 0mg 🎈 Oct 2004 - Oct 2018 Paxil 20 mg, Nov 15mg, Dec 10mg, Feb 2019 7.5mg crashed, Feb 8.5mg, Nov 8mg, March 2020 7.2mg, April 6.5mg, May 5.9mg, June 5.4mg, July 4.8mg, Dec 4.5mg, Jan 2021 4mg, Feb 3.6mg, March 3.2mg, April 2.9mg, Aug 2.7mg, Sept 2.4mg, Oct 2.2mg, Nov 2mg, Dec 1.8mg, Feb 2022 1.6mg, March 1.4mg, April 1.2mg, May 1.0mg, June 0.8mg, July 0.6mg, Aug 0.4mg, Sep 0.2mg, October 6th 2022 0mg 🎈 December 25th 2022 drug free these dates are approximate Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Erell Posted August 15, 2021 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted August 15, 2021 Hello dear @Sottana, Nothing much to add except that I can relate : I too had to learn that my body needs extra care for now, and even when I have an easier day I keep in mind I have to stay gentle. Because that's what we are talking about : being gentle with ourselves ☺ Our bodies are doing a huge amount of adjustments even when we don't feel it. Doing too much can put a big load on a body that is already quite busy doing his repair work. I personaly find that gentle walk in the nature and slow movements like Tai-chi are my favorite way to exercice in WD. Take good care, sending my best ❤ 1 2006 : 20mg Paxil+Bromazepam. 2008 : cold turkey of both. 2010 : Reinstatement 20mg Paxil + Bromazepam. 2014-June2017 : Switch from Bromazepam to Prazepam, slow taper to 0mg. 2018 to August 2019 : Paxil 20mg taper (3% every 15 days). 22 Aug 2019 updose to 10mg (was at 8.4mg). 25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paxil. April 2020 : Paxil 10mg to Prozac 7mg bridge. Details : topic/21457 Current Supplements : magnesium citrate + fish oil Current medication : * 7pm Diazepam : 0.85mg (15 Aug 2022) / 0.95 mg (24 April 2022) / 1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020) * 8am Prozac : 6.16mg (25 oct 2022, feel awful, slight updose) / 6.08 mg (9 oct 2022) / 6.24mg (11 July 22) / 6.44mg (22 May 22) / 6.64mg (4 Nov 21) / 6.72mg (8 oct 21) / 6.8 mg (15 Sept 21)/ 6.88mg (14 Aug 21)/ 6.92mg (23 Jun 21) I am not a professional, I don't give medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. Link to comment
sunnysideup69 Posted August 16, 2021 Share Posted August 16, 2021 Hey @Sottana, Yep, you're right. Sugar is deffo my Achilles heel. It's such a tricky bugger. I can so easily slip and overdo it. Thankfully, am through the sugar crash now, now dealing with being two days caffeine free.....so let's see how this one goes. So glad to read you were having a decent week.....and definitely, the exercise was too much. I think those of us who've suffered with anx/dep can tend to be 'all or nothing' types. We need to learn moderation. Had the same situation, I'd entered to walk a half marathon and as I began to walk further and further, to a training plan, I noticed I was experiencing waves. This was last Christmas. My body was basically saying, scrap the training schedule.....eventually I listened, and the waves stopped. You'll find the right balance. Sending hugs from London January 2008 to April 2015 Citalopram 20mg to 5mg, reducing in 50 per cent leaps. Jumped off at 5mg March 2016 used MDMA triggered setback April 2016 Citalopram 10mg October 2016 cut to 5mg, May 2017 cut to 2.5mg May 2018 used MDMA triggered setback June 2018 Citalopram 2.5mg up to 10mg, then back to 5mg July/ August 2018 7.5mg, then 10mg June 2019 updosed to 20mg Citalopram August 2019 cold switch to Venlafaxine 75mg XR Supplements; 1100mg fish oil daily; also 100mg Magnesium Glycinate. Tried Vagifem 10mcg from mid May 2021 to mid June 2021; caused depression, so stopped. Link to comment
Sottana Posted August 17, 2021 Author Share Posted August 17, 2021 @Longroadhomeyeah, these push-ups really smacked me. 3 days later and I’m still suffering. I guess it’s my body just really telling me that what I did was wayyyy too much. I hope it eases up soon. @Erellyou’re right. I think these heavy duty exercises are bound to rev up symptoms for those of us that are severely sensitized. I’ll have to stick to my walking for now. Thanks for popping in and I hope you’re doing ok. @sunnysideup69i remember you having some waves from overdoing exercise in the past. When I got slammed I thought of you. I absolutely have the kind of personality where I overdo it. You’re so right about all of that. I guess I just didn’t realize exercise could increase symptoms so severely. I figured it would be a temporary thing but it’s very akin to other bad waves I’ve had. I guess you learn as you go with this whole wd experience. I’ll be sticking to walking for quite a while 1 2008: start Lexapro 10 mg which is quickly upped to 20 mg. 2008:2013 try at least four individual times to get off Lexapro, never get lower than 5mg, settle at 15 mg. 2015: again, attempt to get off Lexapro and get to 5 mg. After 6 months, feel i'm stabilizing but go back on a higher dose because of one stressful event. 2016: go to 20 mg from 15 mg due to work stresses, hit severe tolerance for the first time and become very suicidal. 2016-2017: try viibryd and cymbata in an attempt to feel better. Also add Lamictal 150 at some point. 2017: eventually land on paxil 37.5 and Lamictal 150. January 2018: cut paxil to 25. April-July 2018: reduce Lamictal in 50 mg increments till im off August. 2018: reduce paxil to 20 mg. december 2018: dropped Paxil to 18 mg, SEVERE CRASH. March updosed to 20 mg April 11: dropped to 19.4 mg due to akathsia (still experiencing akathsia symptoms from updose) April 20: 19 mg Paxil May 4: 18.7 Paxil July 5: 18.2 July 12: 17.8 Aug 19: 17.5 Aug 26: 17.3 Oct 20: 17.1 Nov 3: 16.9, 8/17/20: 16.6 after nine month hold, 8/24/20: 16.4, 8/31/20:16.2, 9/14/2020: 16.0, 9/21/20: 15.8, 9/28/20: 15.6, 10/19/20:15.4, 10/26/20: 15.2, 11/2/20: 15.1, 11/7/20: 14.8, 3/6/2-: 14.5, 3/20/20: 14.3, 4/3/20: 13.9, 4/10/2021: 13.7. 4/21/21: 13.5, 5/5/2021: 13.1, 12.2 8/12/2021 (slowly microtapered to this number. I just can’t remember the exact dates), 11.8 9/6/2021, 11.6 9/13/21, 11.2 9/27/21, 11.1 9/30/21.....11/5/21 switched to 10 mg tablet. I am holding to stabilize for the foreseeable future. 3/25/22: 9.4, 5/6/22: 9.0, 5/30/22: 8.25, 6/7/22: 8.1, 7/722: 7.65, 8/16/22: 7.39, 9/22/22: 6.91, 10/1/22: 6.78 Medication signature.docx Link to comment
Sottana Posted August 18, 2021 Author Share Posted August 18, 2021 This wave from physical exertion isn’t letting up at all. It’s been 5 days and still massively sensitized and activated. Have others bad this experience? 1 2008: start Lexapro 10 mg which is quickly upped to 20 mg. 2008:2013 try at least four individual times to get off Lexapro, never get lower than 5mg, settle at 15 mg. 2015: again, attempt to get off Lexapro and get to 5 mg. After 6 months, feel i'm stabilizing but go back on a higher dose because of one stressful event. 2016: go to 20 mg from 15 mg due to work stresses, hit severe tolerance for the first time and become very suicidal. 2016-2017: try viibryd and cymbata in an attempt to feel better. Also add Lamictal 150 at some point. 2017: eventually land on paxil 37.5 and Lamictal 150. January 2018: cut paxil to 25. April-July 2018: reduce Lamictal in 50 mg increments till im off August. 2018: reduce paxil to 20 mg. december 2018: dropped Paxil to 18 mg, SEVERE CRASH. March updosed to 20 mg April 11: dropped to 19.4 mg due to akathsia (still experiencing akathsia symptoms from updose) April 20: 19 mg Paxil May 4: 18.7 Paxil July 5: 18.2 July 12: 17.8 Aug 19: 17.5 Aug 26: 17.3 Oct 20: 17.1 Nov 3: 16.9, 8/17/20: 16.6 after nine month hold, 8/24/20: 16.4, 8/31/20:16.2, 9/14/2020: 16.0, 9/21/20: 15.8, 9/28/20: 15.6, 10/19/20:15.4, 10/26/20: 15.2, 11/2/20: 15.1, 11/7/20: 14.8, 3/6/2-: 14.5, 3/20/20: 14.3, 4/3/20: 13.9, 4/10/2021: 13.7. 4/21/21: 13.5, 5/5/2021: 13.1, 12.2 8/12/2021 (slowly microtapered to this number. I just can’t remember the exact dates), 11.8 9/6/2021, 11.6 9/13/21, 11.2 9/27/21, 11.1 9/30/21.....11/5/21 switched to 10 mg tablet. I am holding to stabilize for the foreseeable future. 3/25/22: 9.4, 5/6/22: 9.0, 5/30/22: 8.25, 6/7/22: 8.1, 7/722: 7.65, 8/16/22: 7.39, 9/22/22: 6.91, 10/1/22: 6.78 Medication signature.docx Link to comment
Shashal Posted August 19, 2021 Share Posted August 19, 2021 I also overdid the push-up last week, it made my arm pain for 3 days, then I ate chocolate ice cream 2 days in a row, then I hit by the huge wave and not sure which is the trigger maybe both. Now is the 7th day and I can see a little improvement, hope we can get back to normal really soon 😐 Xanax 0.4mg on and off only for bedtime occasionally from 2015 2019.6 Xanax Inter-dose withdraw after 8 weeks continuous usage 2019.6.3 100mg Zoloft 2019.6.27 CT 0.4mg Xanax cross over to 7.14mg Valium 75mg Trazodone 2019.8.29 Jumped Valium at 0.5mg 2019.12.15 Jumped Zoloft at 4mg 2020.1.4 Jumped Trazodone at 5mg 2020.6.1 95% healed with no symptoms and sleep very well 2021.4.6 Reinstated 1mg Zoloft and 10mg x3 Tandospirone for anxiety setback from antibiotics 2021.4.25 0.5mg Zoloft and 10mg x3 Tandospirone 2021.5.7 Jumped Zoloft at 0.25mg as adverse effects 2021.6.2Tapered and jumped Tandospirone as mild serotonin syndrome Couldn’t take Seremind (Lavender oil) neither it could also cause the serotonin syndrome 2021.6.13 1mg Cyproheptadine before bed and got better and better 2021.8.13 Bad wave don’t know if triggered by chocolate ice cream Link to comment
Sottana Posted August 19, 2021 Author Share Posted August 19, 2021 @Shashalim sorry you’re struggling too, my friend. I hope you see better days soon as well ❤️ 2008: start Lexapro 10 mg which is quickly upped to 20 mg. 2008:2013 try at least four individual times to get off Lexapro, never get lower than 5mg, settle at 15 mg. 2015: again, attempt to get off Lexapro and get to 5 mg. After 6 months, feel i'm stabilizing but go back on a higher dose because of one stressful event. 2016: go to 20 mg from 15 mg due to work stresses, hit severe tolerance for the first time and become very suicidal. 2016-2017: try viibryd and cymbata in an attempt to feel better. Also add Lamictal 150 at some point. 2017: eventually land on paxil 37.5 and Lamictal 150. January 2018: cut paxil to 25. April-July 2018: reduce Lamictal in 50 mg increments till im off August. 2018: reduce paxil to 20 mg. december 2018: dropped Paxil to 18 mg, SEVERE CRASH. March updosed to 20 mg April 11: dropped to 19.4 mg due to akathsia (still experiencing akathsia symptoms from updose) April 20: 19 mg Paxil May 4: 18.7 Paxil July 5: 18.2 July 12: 17.8 Aug 19: 17.5 Aug 26: 17.3 Oct 20: 17.1 Nov 3: 16.9, 8/17/20: 16.6 after nine month hold, 8/24/20: 16.4, 8/31/20:16.2, 9/14/2020: 16.0, 9/21/20: 15.8, 9/28/20: 15.6, 10/19/20:15.4, 10/26/20: 15.2, 11/2/20: 15.1, 11/7/20: 14.8, 3/6/2-: 14.5, 3/20/20: 14.3, 4/3/20: 13.9, 4/10/2021: 13.7. 4/21/21: 13.5, 5/5/2021: 13.1, 12.2 8/12/2021 (slowly microtapered to this number. I just can’t remember the exact dates), 11.8 9/6/2021, 11.6 9/13/21, 11.2 9/27/21, 11.1 9/30/21.....11/5/21 switched to 10 mg tablet. I am holding to stabilize for the foreseeable future. 3/25/22: 9.4, 5/6/22: 9.0, 5/30/22: 8.25, 6/7/22: 8.1, 7/722: 7.65, 8/16/22: 7.39, 9/22/22: 6.91, 10/1/22: 6.78 Medication signature.docx Link to comment
sunnysideup69 Posted August 20, 2021 Share Posted August 20, 2021 On 8/18/2021 at 6:01 PM, Adili13 said: This wave from physical exertion isn’t letting up at all. It’s been 5 days and still massively sensitized and activated. Have others bad this experience? Yep. Had a bad wave after a 7.5 mile training walk, lasted about ten days. It was horrible. It'll go, @Sottana. Try not to worry -I know that's easier said than done. January 2008 to April 2015 Citalopram 20mg to 5mg, reducing in 50 per cent leaps. Jumped off at 5mg March 2016 used MDMA triggered setback April 2016 Citalopram 10mg October 2016 cut to 5mg, May 2017 cut to 2.5mg May 2018 used MDMA triggered setback June 2018 Citalopram 2.5mg up to 10mg, then back to 5mg July/ August 2018 7.5mg, then 10mg June 2019 updosed to 20mg Citalopram August 2019 cold switch to Venlafaxine 75mg XR Supplements; 1100mg fish oil daily; also 100mg Magnesium Glycinate. Tried Vagifem 10mcg from mid May 2021 to mid June 2021; caused depression, so stopped. Link to comment
Sottana Posted August 20, 2021 Author Share Posted August 20, 2021 @sunnysideup69thank you. I really needed that reassurance. It’s so damn scary. Feel like I lost all my progress. Thanks again xxx 1 2008: start Lexapro 10 mg which is quickly upped to 20 mg. 2008:2013 try at least four individual times to get off Lexapro, never get lower than 5mg, settle at 15 mg. 2015: again, attempt to get off Lexapro and get to 5 mg. After 6 months, feel i'm stabilizing but go back on a higher dose because of one stressful event. 2016: go to 20 mg from 15 mg due to work stresses, hit severe tolerance for the first time and become very suicidal. 2016-2017: try viibryd and cymbata in an attempt to feel better. Also add Lamictal 150 at some point. 2017: eventually land on paxil 37.5 and Lamictal 150. January 2018: cut paxil to 25. April-July 2018: reduce Lamictal in 50 mg increments till im off August. 2018: reduce paxil to 20 mg. december 2018: dropped Paxil to 18 mg, SEVERE CRASH. March updosed to 20 mg April 11: dropped to 19.4 mg due to akathsia (still experiencing akathsia symptoms from updose) April 20: 19 mg Paxil May 4: 18.7 Paxil July 5: 18.2 July 12: 17.8 Aug 19: 17.5 Aug 26: 17.3 Oct 20: 17.1 Nov 3: 16.9, 8/17/20: 16.6 after nine month hold, 8/24/20: 16.4, 8/31/20:16.2, 9/14/2020: 16.0, 9/21/20: 15.8, 9/28/20: 15.6, 10/19/20:15.4, 10/26/20: 15.2, 11/2/20: 15.1, 11/7/20: 14.8, 3/6/2-: 14.5, 3/20/20: 14.3, 4/3/20: 13.9, 4/10/2021: 13.7. 4/21/21: 13.5, 5/5/2021: 13.1, 12.2 8/12/2021 (slowly microtapered to this number. I just can’t remember the exact dates), 11.8 9/6/2021, 11.6 9/13/21, 11.2 9/27/21, 11.1 9/30/21.....11/5/21 switched to 10 mg tablet. I am holding to stabilize for the foreseeable future. 3/25/22: 9.4, 5/6/22: 9.0, 5/30/22: 8.25, 6/7/22: 8.1, 7/722: 7.65, 8/16/22: 7.39, 9/22/22: 6.91, 10/1/22: 6.78 Medication signature.docx Link to comment
sunnysideup69 Posted August 21, 2021 Share Posted August 21, 2021 13 hours ago, Adili13 said: @sunnysideup69thank you. I really needed that reassurance. It’s so damn scary. Feel like I lost all my progress. Thanks again xxx You're welcome, buddy. January 2008 to April 2015 Citalopram 20mg to 5mg, reducing in 50 per cent leaps. Jumped off at 5mg March 2016 used MDMA triggered setback April 2016 Citalopram 10mg October 2016 cut to 5mg, May 2017 cut to 2.5mg May 2018 used MDMA triggered setback June 2018 Citalopram 2.5mg up to 10mg, then back to 5mg July/ August 2018 7.5mg, then 10mg June 2019 updosed to 20mg Citalopram August 2019 cold switch to Venlafaxine 75mg XR Supplements; 1100mg fish oil daily; also 100mg Magnesium Glycinate. Tried Vagifem 10mcg from mid May 2021 to mid June 2021; caused depression, so stopped. Link to comment
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